


Wanted

by Experiment282



Series: Pricklyverse [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Animal Symbolism, Anxiety, Battle Couple, Conspiracy Theories, Corruption, Crisis of Faith, Depression, Drama, Emotional Baggage, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Gem who thinks she's human, Gen, Hallucinations, Kissing, Magical Tattoos, Mystery, Past Abuse, Philosophy, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Sexual Tension, Social Anxiety, Steven and Connie act like parents to a Gem, Tattoos, Underage Drinking, navel gazing, post-corruption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 266,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23592232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Experiment282/pseuds/Experiment282
Summary: Sequel to Needed. With Steven on the open road and Connie finally in College, things are beginning to look up.Except, craziness continues to follow her...and her mysterious room mate.So shall she question her faith...And her humanity.Aged up Connverse
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Original Gem Character(s), Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Original Gem Character(s)
Series: Pricklyverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699555
Comments: 74
Kudos: 78





	1. The Room Mate

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah sequel time! This fic will hold more Connverse, but it will also hold their relationship to another Gem into an interesting inversion of events.  
> For new people this is set after Prickly Pair, but before In Dreams as it details a different series of event. I highly recommended reading Needed before reading this.  
> It will also more into Connie's trauma, beliefs and relationships.  
> Expect to see old and new characters too!  
> EDIT 20.04.2020: I upgraded the rating to mature because I realized this was going in a direction that involved certain developments.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie arrives at Jayhawk and meets her new room mate for the first time....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought I'd get this out so soon! But here's the first, typically long chapter for this sequel!

Clear skies...clear nights, with the shining stars on the navy cascade their most brilliant and glowing moon the deviant in the making.

Those nights were the ones she wanted the most, inspiring Connie, filling her with hopes and unexplored dreams. Though, the night sky for some reason was off-orange; it didn't make her feel happy or sad. Warm? But with something else within it that called attention, but she wasn't sure what it was. Certainty with the uncertain and uncertainty in the reason. No clarification but the deepness, a wound cauterized by hot iron but unsure of where the wound had come from. And from the book she read about Animal Symbolism taught her anything (an eBook gift sent from Steven), The owl of suspicion would sit on her shoulder, but never to hoot a single word.

And it was those amber-lit dreams that she never had before, creeping up on the eve of her leaving her home. She'd gotten accepted into Jayhawk on a Scholarship at last, which initially had a watery wave of relief wash over her and lightning strike of excitement run through her body that she had run down the stairs and hugged both of her parents and then rung Steven; who'd been on the road for months by this point and immediately congratulated her, saying that he had known she would have been able to get through easy. Though Connie's definition of easy would have been comparably different to his.

And with that funny phenomenon called dreaming, those flashing scenes of minuscule sense began to ring around in her head again. Connie Maheswaran didn't have room in her life to allow dreams to torment her, like they had. She figured that her subconscious liked to present everything she'd tried to ignore, deny or didn't even dare to admit to her own mother. The tiny things, like crawling, insignificant ants that could be either crushed or left alone. Connie preferred the latter. The black cat that normally catered to her curiosity with its golden eyes wasn't interested.

She's also had dreams of Steven on Homeworld again. But his back was to her, like he was still trying to hide stuff. She's had dreams of looking into the mirror, looking at glowing, pink eyes...and the geometric lines on her skin...and then came the third wake up during the night; Connie would check...check twice, check thrice...no glowing eyes, lines and on checking on the copy of the schedule he had, he was still on Earth...and they were still in love.

Nightmares, however...included Diamond Steven; the one in the flashy suit. Nightmares that included her looking into a nearby lake and seeing the flashing sequences of Diamond Authority colours like her eyes were tv screens; the signs of loss her own control. Loss of his control. The static, the fuzz...the distorted howls and cries of helping in the confusing, burning worlds. His corrupted form, shifting spikes, glowing lines with the mind of a lost cause...found again in the meaning of his internal connections...correlations. Words that echoed in her mind when they felt like, ticking over out sync. Again, uncertain with reason...certain with it being uncertain.

_I had to be somewhere, I have to be someone._

Diamonds were the figures of power that once had complete control then relinquished most of it...then had one of their own just had to, _insisted_ that he'd take care of everything. One, who dug himself so far deep into the darkest crevices that trapped him into a state of denial of his whole heart and his beliefs. Twisted into a form, that pretended that it had control and tried to bargain reality alongside it. So that the only way back, was the acceptance of the darkness of the self. So much churned from the burnt out heart on its own, that created that darkness...and he kept trying to burn it away. 

Connie ended up being that much needed water for him to swim across, to face realization and recognition that the darkness, while it hurt, wasn't to be afraid of, but to be understood.

Months on, a year on...the fiery glow of the gap in her head still held itself onto Connie, like a bee to a flower. Attractive colours, still stuck to purpose. It never became undone...the ants kept coming back for more.

But now she was within the human sanctioned realm, where Connie only really had to deal with assignments, projects and the deadlines that pulled at anxiety like hooks. It was something Connie was prepared for however...or else those years spent in cram school would have accounted to nothing but a complete waste of time in the end.

* * *

She started her majors in sociology first, preferring to spend time in the depths of human connections. Or just...connections in general. She felt, that what happened with Steven, had gained her interest into the topic more so than anything, trying to find meaning in humanoid society itself. Most of the classes would correlate with the normal, human to human context. Which is fine and one hundred percent of what she'd expected to look into...and the reason to the uncertainty in the way she had felt that had no real name for.

Time carried on quicker than she anticipated, with all the rush and in the blink of an eye, Connie was already at the point of moving into her new dorm. She was both enthusiastic and nervous, her new abode for the next few years. Orange brick building with the letter D in red on it. The dorms held a series of students on the vast, open campus with enough trees and apparently home to the eponymous Jayhawks who were native to the area. Connie could already hear them high in the birch trees that decorated the grounds.

Connie held the card with her name and room number: D-719. Her eyes kept going back and forth between them, eventually finding it on the second level of the building, upstairs and the last door to her left, by the window which over looked the campus grounds and trees.

Opening the door, she could see the open room with a series of cardboard boxes everywhere; filled with what ever she couldn't take in her bags ended up being delivered. She took a deep breath and entered....but not before tripping over and almost landing face first into the beige carpet, had she not put her hands down in time, she would have.

"Oh yeah, there's a cable there." A sarcastic voice said from afar, with an unusual accent.

"Sorry bout that, been meaning to move it all day...lemme give you a hand."

Connie saw said hand and took it immediately without thinking twice. Once up, she had a good look at the girl. Tall, skinny to average build. Denim shorts with a black hoodie, black socks, black fingerless gloves...though the colour choices was not what caught Connie off-guard.

Her skin...her legs...her hands...her face...shades of violet. Her short bob cut hair with side straight fringes cradling her face, the colour of indigo, alongside her freckles, three piece per cheek. Her matching lips and fingernails alongside them. Unusual...strange...something about her told Connie words, once again, she could never say.

"That's okay, my fault for not paying attention." Connie said, a bit shaken up by the fall and this...girl.

The girl ended up taking the aforementioned cable, which had been connected to the power point by the door and moved around to the left side. The room was separated into two sides that were almost mirrored...Connie on the right with all of her boxes and the other girls on the left, their single beds stretching out from the back windows. Their parts were separated by a single, white book shelf that stretched all the way up the roof, with half of it already filled with books. Two tables were beside their beds, with the inner ones beside the book shelf and the further ones nestled between a desk, that had another set of drawers, then a cupboard on the other side of the room, on the same side as the door.

The other girls side was, already decorated in fairy lights dangling from wall to wall and roof to roof and small silvery bits and pieces. She had her laptop, the back filled with stickers of various slogans and characters on a pink wooden board. Her phone and her hybrid game console were docked on the bedside table. Looking down, Connie could see more cables connected to the power point board laid against the wall. There was another one on the wall that she had just connected it to.

It was...telling of her obviously showing her mysterious and magical side but Connie didn't mind the aesthetics. She reminded her of the goth girls from high school...except with less make up.

The girl came back around and dusted her hands, grinning all the while as she gave out her hand to greet Connie properly.

"Nah it's all good. I just finished decorating and made the bad decision of going on the internet once I got the wifi password from downstairs." She said.

"For formalities, I am Violet McCudden, strangest girl at Jayhawk. For my friends and my new roomy, just call me Vivi, the girl you'll get sick of hanging around once first semester finishes."

Connie blinked. She thought _that_ of herself?

"I'm Connie, Connie Maheswaran. I don't have a lot to say..." She said, shaking Vivi's hand in response.

"Other than it's nice to meet you."

Vivi chuckled. She looked so...relaxed and her form...it screamed something else but...the way she held herself was so human. Connie desperately wanted to question it, but it would be rude to do so.

"If you don't mind asking, where are you from?" Connie queried. She didn't want to be too invasive but this was a question people would ask the other...in Vivi's case, Connie's curiosities got the better of her.

"Hah....yeah I get that a lot." She said with fake enthusiasm as she scratched her cheek.

"I'm from Australia. Spare me the jokes, yank and I'll spare you the nicknames..... _mmmaybe_..."

Connie wasn't even thinking that. Her head was filled with trying to understand so many things she was trying to figure out. Australians, for one, were not known having that colour skin...oh no, Connie was already thinking race and the last thing she wanted to be seen as in a place like this was being racist.

"Consider the jokes non-existent." Connie assured her with a salute.

Vivi laughed anyway.

"Haha...unintended irony...you're a cracker!" She commented.

"But no need to feel tense or nervous...You can relax around me. I'm not gotta chew your head off unless you really want to...so uhh hey, did you need any help with unpacking?"

* * *

Within the space of a few hours and casual chatter, Connie already began to feel a bit more at ease, putting her own books into her half of the book shelf and took the time to know Vivi better. She was majoring in Philosophy, minoring in Sociology herself. She'd come to Jayhawk for the opportunity to travel And to anyone else, Vivi was just another individual finding their way in the world, discovering what she could. It was fun and Connie could get use to this...until Vivi found a selfie photo of her and Steven on the beach, to where Vivi went sparkly eyed, cooing over the photo itself.

"Oh is this your _boyfriend_?" She questioned, putting her hand against her cheek as she grinned widely.

Connie blushed. They'd been dating for a while now but the topic on hand when someone mentioned it still made her bit humble in the context.

"Yeah that's Steven." Connie told her.

"He's busy travelling right now."

It was then Vivi gave her a flirtatious look.

"Another travel bug!" She said, excited.

"He is a cutie! You know how to snag them. Haha...one day I'll find someone just as cute!"

That told Connie a lot more than what she had intended to figure out on her own. 

"You're on the prowl?" Connie joked.

Vivi just chuckled, scratching her cheek again.

"Yeah, nah kinda? I mean....uh..."

The chuckle faded into a nervous bout of bitter laughter. She swallowed, before handing the photo back to Connie and turning around, putting her black shoes on.

"You don't have to tell me." Connie said.

The girls manner changed entirely on that front and Connie feared that she'd offended her. Although she did turn back around with her hands laced together behind her back. She showed off what would have a been a warm smile, but it seemed overly saccharine to be real.

"I'll brb." She said with a too sweetened tone.

Connie blink and didn't respond in time, as Vivi walked to the door to leave the room without another word. She was strange but... Connie looked back at the photo of her and Steven. Steven was also strange. The good kind of strange. And the way he could be around people. Humans...Gems...could be considered off putting to anyone who would have met him for the first time. Charming, well-mannered and means the best, but overall the hard, crafted surface would chipped away to find the squishy, awkward person within. Still lovable, still wanted and admired.

A deep breath to push out her stiffened chest, Connie clipped the photo to her giant corkboard on the wall above her desk, which had been decorated with her own fairy, star lights of the yellowy kinds as opposed to Vivis hues of purple. Over time, Connie planned to have the corkboard full of photos. Her times here and her meet ups with Steven on the occasion, her visual time line of her memories here she wanted to create. With new people and new experiences.

Within that following hour, Vivi hadn't returned. Connie wasn't sure where she had gone and felt guilt for digging in too deep. For now, she filled out her diary's calendar for her schedule and upon completing it, she felt just as satisfied as completing her homework. It was there and it was done. But she'd sunken herself into her new bed, arms splayed as she tried to get used to her new bed, to get her own groove into the mattress like she had at home. It wasn't as good as the one in her room but she had to get used it. She would.

But the world became silent as the orange sunset pierced through in trickles in the trees, streaming on the opposing wall. Connie looked at her phone. It was only five thirty. She debated on calling Steven, but according to his itinerary, he was out the road and was going to be in a motel no later than seven thirty. Which meant that Connie had two hours to kill. Lifting her head, she looked at Vivi's side of the room. Her alcove of purple hues and fake starlight. The cursed cat of curiosity gnawed at her, wanting her to find out more about the mysterious girl.

Connie hated it, that it just...just ate away at her at trying to placate the sneaking owl of suspicion on her shoulder again. She looked at the door, and ran her fingers over her stomach and tapped them at a quickened rhythm. She eventually shot up. What's the harm in taking a little peak?

On her tiptoes, she walked past the book shelf, her eyes catching titles...and names such as Immanuel Kant and John McTaggart. At face value, you wouldn't take Vivi seriously, but collections like this had Connie left in walks of her wandering mind, thinking that, for the stupid sake of an unintended pun, that you really shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

The sheets pinned above her bed, on the roof to the walls lit up by the fairy lights...sprinkled in silvery glittered swirled patterns. The flat screen TV was part of it too, hanging on the wall above the desk. It felt more like a blanket fort, which brought back memories from when Connie was a little girl. She felt so protected, her imagination telling her to protect her make believe castle from monsters and pretending that her tennis racket was a sword, while her dad pretended to be the monster.

On her desk was a smaller corkboard that leaned against the wall, filled with different strings of paper, of varying shades of purple with texts and quotes. More trinkets like jewelry and other sorts hung on there as well. A beautiful mess of mystical treasures laid as more a decoration. On a dark purple stream spread across the board, wrote:

_Doubt everything, find your own light._

Everything but the word doubt in white text...doubt was in orange text.

~~_Finding her own light._..~~

Another lighter, lavender stream was under it, starting with a cross...with a red cross on top of it.

_I talk to God but the Sky is empty._

The chill down Connie's spine was...definitely unexpected. From the looks of it, despite her out look and her smiles, Vivi appeared to be more of an pessimist, than an optimist. It was really...jarring. This...welcoming parchment of someone elses existence appeared like Vivi had lost battles more than she won them, but kept the front up to most people. Reminded her too much of a certain someone.

"It's a quote from Sylvia Plath."

Connie froze instantly, her body feeling the flash of heat rise up before she went dead cold from the shock of hearing her voice. She didn't even hear her come back into the room. She turned, seeing Vivi there, standing tall, her legs together and her hands behind her back still like they never left. The smile on her face appeared soft, but Connie could see the tiredness now, clearer than ever. Tired...or disappointed. It wasn't _that_ clear.

"Woah, Vivi, I'm so sorry, I was just-"

"It's fine. I expect people to be rummaging through my things while I'm gone. You're not the first, which is for the most part, quite gratifying."

There was something so familiar about the words she used which disturbed her more than her aching heart wanted her to.

~~_It's fine._ ~~

"But you actually didn't rummage and respectfully observed. You're better than most room mates."

Shame continued to pile on her, silently berating the cat for getting the better of her. And the worst part was that she couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or sincere.

"Seven out of ten. But you'll have to do for now."

What?

Vivi stood there in silence, her eyes fixed on Connie, half lidded. The smile was low, but it was there. Connie herself tried to collect what energy she had left that was spilled into her embarrassment of being caught snooping. She hadn't been here for a day and she was already in dire straits. Eventually she wandered back to her bed, as Vivi closed her eyes as Connie passed. The latter sat on the side of the bed, slouched and dissociated briefly as she stared at the floor, disappointed in herself that she had the urge to just sleep for twelve hours straight.

Nerves. That's all it was. Nerves and the ants crawling up her skin again. The sunset disappeared, the skies fading into their darker pallets for the evening. She still had to call Steven, to let him know that she got there okay and she was all ready for tomorrow's first set of lectures and classes.

"Hey Con."

The sound of shuffling about alongside that had Connie popping her head up quickly.

"Catch!"

Before she knew it, Vivi threw something at her and instinct told her catch it before she knew what was going on. Vivi had a purple tote bag with different animal characters on it, to where she had put her hand into it once more and pulled out a cream coloured can with a picture of a pear plastered in the middle. She opened it up, before dropping the bag onto the ground next to her bed and jumped on the bed, laying outwards with one knee up and the other flat on the mattress. Connie found herself watching as took her shoes off with her feet alone, then ended up leaning back against the bed head and taking a swill.

"Relax, I already told you that I'm not gonna chew ya head off." She said.

"You're a non drinker...so I'm starting you off on something that's not gonna have you choke straight away."

Connie furrowed her brows with confusion. She took a better look at the can. Cider?

Alcohol?

"You're making me _drink_?" Connie questioned. She hadn't had this kind of peer pressure on her since the girls in high school tried to get her to smoke.

Vivi snorted.

"Tradition dictates we celebrate this _momentous_ occasion." She said with mocked valor and a stiff upper lip.

"By having a cold one."

That accent sounded more pronounced by that sentence alone. Connie pursed her lips, looking at the purple girl, who now had one hand behind her head, looking on into nothingness with a expression that was less ambiguous. Peaceful, was the word Connie was looking for. With a deep breath, she wondered what her parents would think of it. While she wouldn't lie, she would shove the truth into a compartment of ''not saying anything unless asked.''

So she opened the can, accompanying the same satisfying gushing sound, followed by a click. Her nose almost burned with the smell of the cider on the still air, which had her swilling the can gently, before she pinched her nose to drink it.

Her throat felt it...but the taste was sweeter than she anticipated it to be, the pear flavouring on her tongue before the alcoholic after taste. It was like a soda, except more dangerous. She did feel the need to cough, but preferred to clear her throat. Vivi wasn't fooled, going from the slight snicker she made.

"You're on a Scholarship here, aren't ya?" The girl asked.How did....well, was it obvious? Connie mimicked Vivi's positioning as she too laid out on her bed, having taken her shoes off and letting herself go loose...pending her worries until the morning.

"Yeah." Connie answered, lifting the can up to check its contents.

"Worked hard to get where I am now. I am...grateful for this chance to prove myself."

She heard Vivi take another sip. She wasn't lying...to be able to use what she already learned to get a head start, putting herself in a good position for her own future.

"So you think you know people I'm guessin'." Vivi wondered.

Connie only knew much, but if she could get out in the field, using her talents for the betterment of man kind.

And beyond.

"I would like think I know a lot, but there's always more to learn." Connie conferred.

Vivi rolled her eyes. She placed the can on her beside table, shifting herself towards Connie and leaning on her side. Connie simply tilted her head. There was that lull smile again...mysterious.

"What do ya think you know about me?" She asked, almost as if she was flirting. Vivi's hand was on her waist, her fingers crafted around the fabric of her hoodie. Those light, lavender eyes sparkling against the lights.

Connie wasn't sure what the question was really aiming towards, with shades of orange filtering in those bright spheres now.

"I'm...uh...I think you're a nice person." She said. Ultimately, she had yet to form a solid opinion on the girl she just met. Helpful? Kind? Insightful? It has hard...and the certainty in the uncertain returned as a confused spider, unable to know which way to take their string in the web. Vivi rolled her eyes. She sat up, took her can and skulled the whole thing down her throat, surprising Connie with the sudden swing of actions. She crushed the can against her forehead and flung into the bin by her cupboard with little effort. 

"Drink the rest of it." Vivi said, as a stern order. Her tone changed so quickly too.

Connie sat up as well, still perplexed as to what she was trying to get Connie to say.

"I don't think I can." She answered.

"Can't I drink it slowly?"

Vivi took out another can and opened it.

"Connie, you're another one stuck in the same mess as everyone else." She commented, her expression warping into near aggression. Connie felt the pump, the pressure she had feared would come in to place, her expectations of this scenario had her flight or fight senses tingling in that instant. It must have been from the lower tones compared to the higher, more chirpy one she just had a moment ago.

"What mess? What are you talking about?" Connie wondered.

Vivi growled briefly.

"A mess created by the world at large...for forcing you think that hard work will get you somewhere. Some place of safety and some place of solace. I know...I know your eyes...I see things behind them. This girl in this, lonely world isn't stupid. This girl in all the busy world, stuck in a place she can't escape from. But she wants to. She just can't see it."

What? Connie didn't get it at all. Her words carried the weight of a respected carried channel of an angsty poet.

"Vivi, are...you okay?" She queried, cautious.

Vivi took another swig, slamming her can down on the desk with enough force that it nearly splattered cider everywhere..and it was enough to make Connie jump. 

"You see something in me Miss Maheswaran. The look of knowing, unable to dare herself to ask the one question because she's too scared. I want you, to muster up some courage, to ask the damn question."

What question?

"What do you want me to ask then?" Connie said, putting her can down and shuffling herself over to have both feet on the floor, so she could talk properly. She didn't need booze. She needed Vivi to make some kind of sense of what she wanted Connie to do. A sound mind can still work if enough information was given in the first place. And being ambiguous, beating around the bush like she had been just served to hold Connie to some kind of standard she had no idea she was being put into. 

"Vivi, I...I'm sorry. I'm not..."

Vivi shifted herself over the same way, this time mirroring Connie instead of the other way around. Her eyes linked to Connie's and refused to let go and it struck something chronic within Connie herself that every bit of web created was just too crossed up to mean anything. Vivi slowed down eventually, rubbing her forehead, closing her eyes and inhaling breath through her nose in a lengthened sequence with a bit of a whistle behind it. Like she was trying to calm herself down.

"The way...you looked at me...the first time...you saw something...the look of...familiarity...you know....you just won't say it. But if you ask for it, I will not scream at you. I promise."

Familiarity?

"People have been far too kind to me...they don't mention it. They brush it aside. But for once, I'd like someone to be interested. And when I could see that your expression was different to all the rest, I wanted to encourage you to be where no one else had been and bother to put the question into practice."

The cat of curiosity served a purpose...and the owl of suspicion had been correct to claim otherwise. Her head was low, as she put the hood on her head. Her eyes looked up at Connie, demanding more so than the sickened sweetness that was her front.

"So ask me...go on..."

Connie swallowed. No one would ask...too nice to do so. She saw Vivi as...someone else.

She saw someone who had to be someone, but not knowing what that someone was.

A lick on her lips and a fists that slammed on her legs. Courage wasn't necessary, but rather the relief in finally being able to acknowledge the obvious.

"What... _are_ you?" Connie finally asked.

Closing her eyes and allowing her head to fall into her arms, Vivi sighed with relief.

"Yes... _finally._..but...I...don't actually know. I was hoping you would tell me." She said, defeated.

She didn't know? Connie could know, if she jabbed around enough. What would be the most obvious telling sign to provide more proof? Connie bent her index finger underneath chin, narrowing her eyes. And Connie, who did not wish to judge and did not want to press any more than she already had. But, Vivi _wanted_ the truth, more than anything right now.

And how this happened in the course of the mere hours in knowing this poor girl, with Connie noting that she wasn't lying...the evidence in the way Vivi held herself. She had no reason to lie through the colour of her skin. Could have been some kind of new skin condition for all Connie understood but deep down, the truth was definitely in front of her. A truth built on expectations over the years, recognition through the people she came to know and befriend and love all the same..and treat and respect like any respected individual in his universe.

If Vivi wanted it, then so be it.

"I do...but...can I ask...is there...some part of your body...anywhere, with a strange...uhh birthmark or something that's stuck with you..all your life?"

With such a weird question that sounded normal to some, bizarre to others but just right for the person who could comprehend its real meaning. Connie sensed the diverged flow of her energies like it was something she had desired someone to begin to point out, like a doctor, like her mother asking for symptoms...just the right set of words that allowed Vivi to slowly lift her head. She looked at Connie once more with her face unreadable in the stoic front, before she nodded.

She reached for the zipper at the top of her hoodie and slowly zipped it down. She wore a burgundy crop top underneath, and as the skin started to show below it, Connie could see..

The square cut, but tilted into a Diamond shaped position, purple jewel where a human belly button would be. Connie's eyes met up with Vivi's in that moment, her stoicness remaining in place. To the full human, the obvious confirmed to her.

"I've been questioning this for a long time. You _must_ know what this is...because I sure don't."

But to Vivi, it _wasn't._

One doesn't normally question their humanity, but...the owl flew off of Connie's shoulder, giving full reign to the cat...and her words, spoke much to Connie's idea that Vivi, had no clue who or what she really was...and the swan of wonder soon came to replace the owl.

"I can...get it confirmed properly, but if I'm not mistaken you are...a Gem." Connie answered, quite shakily.

Confusion wrote itself on Vivi's face this time.

"What, a stone? A piece of jewelry that people with the big bucks use as a statement of their wealth? Ya kidding me aren't ya?" Vivi said in disbelief, almost laughing.

It wasn't funny, but..

"I know it's strange, but...that's what they're called. An alien species...they call themselves Gems."

Vivi ended up bursting into a guffaw, rolling back onto her bed and kicking her feet into the air while she wrapped her arms around herself and cackled. Connie gave small smile, worried but had to take in that she wasn't angry that she was a gem. It wasn't a joke, but...

The swan spoke into Connie's ear again, telling her that how did she not know? Weren't Gems supposed to pop out of the ground, knowing what they're supposed to do? Vivi had zero Gem traits besides the physical and the one on her stomach was definitely telling. Mentally, though.

Once Vivi calmed down, she swung herself back into a side ways leaning position and wiped away a tear.

"You have quite the imagination Connie, I hope you're minoring in writing classes because _wow_..."

Though, she slowed down to a halt as Connie stopped smiling, putting her hands on the bed and scrunching up the blanket underneath her fingers, looking away and almost grinding her teeth from the overwhelming sense of awkward that came across her. Vivi ended up sighing, slapping her hand on the bed and getting up to sit next to Connie, stunning her as she put her arm around Connie's shoulders.

"Hey, hey, you're serious aren't you?" Vivi questioned.

Connie nodded, a bit unnerved on how close she was, smelling the cider on her breath.

"Yeah, I was definitely being serious." She confirmed.

Vivi nodded, sliding her hand away and putting her hands in her lap, focusing towards the corkboard on her own desk, specifically on the Sylvia Plath quote.

"Random squizz of info you probably may or may not care about...but my parents believe in God." She said, her voice slightly lower and quieter in volume.

"That quote, I found because they pleaded to him to grant them a daughter...and I don't exactly remember much, but they claimed I fell out of the sky or some such....and I tried the same for so long. And heard nothing back."

Connie nodded in understand. Religion was a tough and controversial nut to crack and while it wasn't what she had intended to study, she knew the inevitability would come around that it would come up, and she would have to suck it up and deal with it as it came.

But now though, Connie had this nagging need to correct her.

"Actually, you would have come out of the ground."

Vivi raised an eyebrow.

"Come again?"

Connie grinned. She used what she knew about Gems to aid, but knew at some point, she would have to let Steven know about this. While she wanted him to be far away from the Gem life as he needed to be, she couldn't leave him in the dark. Perhaps she could go to the Gems for guidance and send Vivi to Beach City to know more...even Little Homeschool.

"From what I was told, Gems are made deep in the Earth, using the surrounding resources to cultivate them."

Vivi snorted.

"Pfffff _yeessssss_ , I am a _plant_...I've always wanted to be a tree...and tell people to leaf me alone..." She joked.

Connie couldn't help but giggle at the bad pun. The two talked about it for a little bit, as Connie told her more about Gems...and how they had magic powers. Vivi had the owl of suspicion on her shoulder now...having some moments in her life that were accidental, but honestly couldn't be explained. Like small fires...the tv changing channels on its own...or the latter was mostly pranks on her father.  
Vivi had intended to come to Jayhawk to learn more about life and to find the positive in her own, complex existence. But being told she was something, someone now, had her mood improve greatly...but her intentions were to remain here, to learn a lot more about life. Or it was her third cider talking. Connie ended up giving the rest of hers away too.

It was by instinct that Connie went to her phone. It was seven thirty one and she remembered Steven should have been at the motel by now. Frantically, she apologized for having to leave the room for the moment, getting in on the rare, private moment to talk to her boyfriend. Vivi cooed, blowing Connie a kiss before going back to her phone as Connie closed the door, rolling her eyes but grinning at the same time.

* * *

Going out to the hallway, she was keen to hear his voice. He would have had a long day of driving through mostly farmland, but even if it sounded boring, she always perked up when he talked about his otherwise dull day. Love made her feel her more appreciative of the smaller things he would say or do...only for her to yearn even more, to be by his side.

" _Hey Connie, you're late._ " He teased.

And he was the one to talk. She'd call him twice and he'd make an excuse that he was in the shower, despite the fact she'd call him five minutes later and suddenly he was in the middle of nowhere...and would admit he had been too into his power nap. Connie understood that he needed his sleep and that sudden phone calls to tell her that he loved her meant he either was about to fall into an episode or had come out of one. It broke her heart...with the knowledge that with the way he would word it, sounded like he felt like he was going to die. And Panic attacks honestly felt like that at times.

But then he would still call when he didn't feel awful. Just...wanting to see how Connie was doing...right up until she had moved out....and while it was weird at first, it soon became a casual thing between them...but the words would always make her feel warm within, the feeling akin to her heart sitting by a nice fire on a cold night. A pleasant expression of their interest...and making them seem like an old couple, which was a bemusing thought to behold.

"Hey Steven, sorry, I was uh...with my new room mate." She said.

Connie stood by the window, looking out the at the magenta sky and hoping that Steven was looking at it all as well. The birds would have been asleep and Steven would have quickly gone into his pajamas.

" _Sounds like you're having fun already!_ " Steven replied.

" _Probably better than me...nothings on TV tonight...ugh..I hate reality shows....why do people have to argue about who's cake is better, I get why with presentation, but taste is also super important._ "

And Connie had something much better to tell him that would be infinitely more fascinating than TV on its own.

"Yeah about that...there's something I need to tell you....don't worry it's not urgent..."

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.

" _Don't worry? Connie I'm the king of Don't Worry and I know when you say that, I should definitely be worried._ " He claimed.

Shoot...his therapist taught him too much!

"No, well, maybe. Listen, its actually about...my new room mate..."

Talk went into the details about Vivi was a Gem, who didn't actually know she was a Gem and believes that she is human, except that she kinda knew she wasn't, but was never able to confirm it until not long ago, and still doesn't really believe it. To say Steven was stunned to the point of silence was ironic telling of how shocked he was to hear it.

" _That **is** weird._" He said, breaking the silence.

" _Well good thing she had the fortune or scholarship to learn with the smartest girl on Earth._ "

Connie snorted. He'd gotten more flirty over the months in their relationship and he would always find some new way to make her blush. He made such pleasure his new business. Even the dumbest pick up lines made her crack a smile or two on occasion.

"She's not interested in going to Beach City just yet...she's fine with being here to fulfill her studies first." Connie told him.

And in a way, he didn't blame her. Jayhawk wasn't cheap from what Connie could recall from the listings.

" _No point rushing it then_." Steven said.

" _But if fate favors me and my health, I'll be able to join you in the next few days. If there's any resources you need...._ "

Connie wasn't silly.

"I know I'll call Pearl...I know the drill ever since you dumped those pamphlets with me..."

Well, it wouldn't have been Steven...it was actually Garnet...though...now on the topic of Garnet.

"You don't suppose Garnet knew I'd meet Vivi?" She questioned.

It wouldn't have been surprising if she did.

" _Garnet's Garnet. She's always had to keep some secrets._ " Steven replied.

" _But yeah, she probably did_."

Of course. Connie would have never really thought about meeting Gems outside of Beach City alone. But at some point, it was bound to happen. Just not like this. She'd never met anyone like Vivi and neither had Steven. Which made the swan tell her many wonders of how their first meeting would go...would Vivi find comfort in not being alone anymore? It was a future to look forward to.

" _But I better let you go...I'll...catch up with you tomorrow...but I'll text you later...and I swear if that three tiered cake wins because of how it looks as opposed to how it tastes..._ "

Steven was always fond of cakes...and extra critical of them. And stupid stuff like tv would do well to stave off the horrible thoughts he would have..and help him fall asleep too. He too, would have bad dreams like she but they were ones he could tell to his Therapist and those he deemed important to share with Connie told her more of the faith he had in her than anything. She wasn't taking care of him twenty four seven, but it was still crucial to maintain this level of connectivity. Not just for Steven's sake, but for her own. Life went on, but it decided, when ever it wanted to, to claw back the past over their eyes, to purely torment them. It was always important to open them again to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"I'll been waiting for the results in anticipation. Hehe...good night Steven...I love you...and don't sleep in. You've got a big day tomorrow."

" _I'll try not to. I love you and thaaaaat much that I'll make extra sure to keep my word_. _Good night Connie, sleep well...and remember you have a big day ahead of you as well._ "

* * *

Meanwhile, in the deepest depths of Homeworld, locked down into the rocky, depressingly grey prisons, a lone Ruby, her gem on her belly, held a piece of paper in her hands with a series of instructions. She muttered to her under her breath, trying to find the bubbles of her former guard members. She looked at the numbers then back to the paper as she wandered the long, derelict halls of the punished Gems; the collection of the hundreds who defied the orders of peace, threatening to destroy the Earth which was under the protection of Steven Universe and his Crystal Gems...allies with the Great Diamond Authority. The Rebellion, still under the long, grueling processes of trialing, had Zircons working on the punishments for months, detailing what they exactly decided to punish with them with.

"Ugh...I'm not gonna let them shatter you...no...you're wanted..." She said.

"376...377...378...379! Here!"

The Ruby put in the code sequence on the letter, which shifted the door upwards. She looked through the Yellow bubbles for the gem she was looking for, then finding a red square in the corner.

"There you are!"

She jumped up and grabbed the bubble, grinning with joy all the while.

"I heard about what happened on Earth. A shame...you got so close too!"

Popping the bubble, she caught the gem and carefully placed it on the ground. Proud of herself. she watched the Gem reform into a fellow Ruby; her Gem replacing a left eye. She appeared a bit groggy, but recognized the Gem before.

"What the, what are you doing here soldier?" She demanded, her voice rough.

The other Ruby continued to smile.

"Oh well, ya know, I just couldn't stand the thought of you getting shattered." She replied.

Somehow, the elder Ruby just wasn't convinced. But it mattered little. She was free.

"Well, thank you...but I need to find the others. Free them. We're not finished with Earth yet...and you're free to join us if you want."

The younger Ruby beamed.

"Yes I would love to!" She said with glee.

"I wanna see their faces when you return!"

The Elder Ruby then laughed...and laughed manically...as it echoed down the lonely halls of the Homeworld dungeons, to where she believed even the Diamonds would fear her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you get to like Vivi. I need to draw her but mah skills are like, blah  
> And yeah, she's Aussie, like me. But her accent becomes more pronounced the more intense she's feeling and sometimes when she's riled up.


	2. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week has passed, and Connie is excited for her weekend date with Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connverse a plenty in this chapter yo.  
> Also, I'm establishing a lot of animal symbolism early on so later chapters make a lot more sense.  
> AND OOPS LONG CHAPTER

The following week was hectic, but welcomed. In a weird way, she felt a lot like Steven when he was on Homeworld; away from her real home with a functional, busy schedule. But she made sure to relax once in a while, practicing her meditation, finding the time to jog and find her way around campus. It kept her fit and her mind active.

Despite that, relaxing became hard at some point, but the one thing she looked forward to the most was the weekend. After a week of looking at graphs and summaries and the stuff in between she didn't care for (since it was mostly stuff she'd already studied beforehand the classes she only took up for extra points), her mind honed in on the only time of the week she looked forward to.

Because Steven was visiting.

A familiar face...and while she got to know Vivi a fraction better, Connie barely saw her throughout the week, busy with her own set of classes and other sessions she had mentioned, mostly extra curricular and the like. The cat came back with a vengeance, but Connie ignored it all for now.

When Saturday finally arrived, she met up with Steven in town, wearing a simple green shirt and her usual shorts. He had been scouting a place for them for a place to eat, to which Connie hadn't even had the time to figure out the best places that included vegetarian options, but it turned out he did the research himself. Indeed all that time he did have had his organisational skills rivaling Connie's own. Lion brought her in, dropping her off in the center of town, where she found him looking on his phone and leaning against his car, which was parked on the side of the road near a diner. Her heart warmed at the sight of him and ran up and surprised him with a giant hug. It felt like forever since she was able to touch him physically...but it had only been a few months. Time could pass slower or faster on the minds control of the reality it would shape for itself.

"Woah hey Connie, you startled me!" He said, with a bit of nervous laugh.

"Should have been paying attention mister." She joked, before giving him a quick peck on the lips, but it would serve to melt if she lingered too long.

"Let's go in, I'm starving!"

Going inside, the diner was humble, filed with plants and ferns which gave a calm atmosphere with that and its hues of light blue. They found themselves a booth and ordered their meals, chatting away all the while as they wanted for their lunch to arrive. The way Steven looked to how he had been after the Corruption Incident appeared a lot better, although Connie wasn't ignorant that he was still on his beaten track. The butterfly of guilt on his left shoulder and the leviathan of pain on his right. Despite the drastic comparisons, the butterfly would be heavier than the leviathan but would join him, like a bird that would rest itself on the head of another as it flew...technically, being the highest flyer in the eternal skies.

To anyone else, he hadn't changed much on the surface. To Connie, there was the tell-tale signs of his anxious self, not really wanting to be here and only wanting to be around Connie. The Diner had begun to get busy around this time and Steven's attitude around crowds had changed. It reminded him too much of Beach City and while it would always be his home when he needed it, the way he had desired to be alone...and alone with Connie was said to be born of an unsung fear of hurting others. Others he cared too much for more. Connie would think he could see people he knew in the faces that drifted past. His therapist said that was normal; a type of homesickness that was expected to occur.

His traveling, the road ahead he had to forge for himself and only himself, until the ideas in his head became a lot clearer, the sun showing him the way. Right now the overcast was infinite and the light scattered. Purpose, unknown but to be found along the way? Again, the Certainty in the Uncertain, as his eyes temporarily linked with a man in an orange shirt who entered, the shades reflected in his eyes. A loss of focus, a mind still flickering for those microseconds to escape, but the eyes went back to Connie, awakening himself for the moment to allow her inside.

"So how's your first week been?" Steven asked her. He'd leaned over, his head in his hands as he preferred to just listen to her after a week of listening to the radio.

"Busy but I expected that." Connie answered.

"Going through the basics which can be kind of boring? But overall it's not so bad. Can you believe I already have three assignments to complete already?"

Steven wasn't entirely sure how to answer that, even if it didn't need a real one.

"Would you prefer four or five? I bet you'd do them in your sleep." He joked.

Connie snorted.

"I wish." She said.

"But there's a lot of places I can do the work. The grounds are quite lovely. Saves me from being cooped up in my room all the time."

Which brought Steven's attention to something else.

"Speaking of your room, how's your new roomy?"

The question went unanswered briefly as the waitress brought in two veggie burgers and thickshakes, before Connie could properly do so.

"Vivi? I dunno, haven't seen her for most of the week. Other than some of the sociology lectures...I think she might start early and finish late."

Connie only said that, was because by the time she woke up in the morning, Vivi had already disappeared..and by the time Connie went to sleep, she would wake up briefly to the door being opened, and Vivi slamming herself on the mattress at around eleven thirty at night. Connie had to remind herself that Vivi was a Gem and didn't need rest conventionally like regular humans. Or she was like Amethyst; who liked to sleep when she felt like it, because it felt good.

"I still can't believe she didn't know she was a Gem." Steven said with disbelief, before drinking his thickshake.

And Connie only knew so much about Gem production going from what she learned about it from Steven and the other Gems. Vivi herself had a hard time understanding it all.

"Have you messaged any of the others about this?"

Connie contemplated, but she didn't want to over step her boundaries. Again.

"Not yet." She said.

"You're the first one who knows about it. I was kinda wondering if you any idea of what we could do."

To a Gem who thought she was a human for the longest time to find out she was actually something else entirely? While Steven knew for all his life that he was combination of a human and Gem, the complications throughout made it hard in finding out who you really are, that it was a journey Steven had been taking for ages and was still trying to find things out. But he at least could keep the discoveries steady and as his therapist mentioned to him, time was his ally.

"You're asking me." Steven said, rubbing his finger through his curls.

"I uh...I'm not in a great position to help out right now."

Right...Connie slid her hand across the table to reach for his, as he just stared at his burger, his mind focused on nothing once more. He went silent for the moment...and Connie instantly knew he was dissociating again. It wasn't his fault...and Steven explained to her it was his mind playing memory games with him again, picking and choosing events of the past to give him grief and to have him locked out of the zone. He could be happy one moment and completely sad the next. Normal, for his abnormal mind.

"Hey..." She said, trying to get him to snap out of it.

"I'm sorry...."

Steven eventually did snap out like a flick of a switch, shaking his head and giving Connie his reaffirming grin.

"No no it's not your fault." He told her.

"I didn't think that there would be Gem problems this far away from Beach City. Follows me where ever it pleases."

It wasn't that Steven hated being a Gem. Far from it. He left to find his humanity and to find out what it meant to be human. His Diamond King persona, the front, the iron-bound castle protecting the raw, soft and fleshy heart beneath it. The butterfly flapped ferociously, reminding him of his anger, his frustrations...his failures...

"You don't have to help with anything, not yet anyway." Connie said, running her thumb over his knuckles.

"Vivi has her answer now. It's up to her on how she wants to deal with it."

Steven lowered his head down further. Connie could sense how badly he wanted to help and it was just like him to do so. Typical Steven Universe. The thought was sweet enough, but it pained him on how much he could help the purple Gem but...Connie was right. Steven was in a safe place where no one knew him but her. A stranger, a human front in a strange land where the strangest thing was the street performer playing with puppets down the road or the busker playing with a drum kit made of recycled materials. But they were there for the purposes of making money and entertaining others. Nothing more.

They ended up finishing their meals shortly after and made the choice to take a stroll together at the Botanical Gardens. Connie held onto his hand tightly, while his eyes wandered onto children at the nearby colourful playground, on flowers and other plant life. The smell of the Gardens had a soothing, fresh aroma that changed constantly, with the varieties too large to count. Steven remained quiet which was fine by Connie, as he absorbed the beauty around him. And Connie herself relished in the opportunity in doing actual couple stuff. Normal stuff couples would do. His warm fingers interlocked with hers, their feet following the slow paced patters of their footsteps. The sounds of the birds chirping about and children's laughter.

This was the stable level of basic humanity. Just doing what they would do on a weekend under a sky with dotted clouds and shining afternoon sun. Average as it would be to the majority, became the sights and sounds and smells Steven came to enjoy the most. Not a huge deal but in a way, took his mind to places it should have been when he was younger. And the butterflies would tell him the shame in being who he was and not being a part of what human children could experience in their youth.

Older now...it was too late for that. As much as he enjoyed it, it brought the sadness in his eyes, despite the smile he had tried so hard to keep up the entire time. Connie saw such signs and took him down a different path, away from the chaos that looked more painful than it was letting on. A narrow walk way between thick, sound shielding bushes of yellow flowers. The smell was wonderful and the laughter soon faded out, leaving behind the wildlife as the loudest noise in the world.

"Connie." Steven spoke, breaking through their silence.

"I've been wondering...do you see yourself doing this for the rest of your life?"

Now that was an odd question if Connie ever heard one.

"What? Studying?" She queried. She knew it wasn't the right answer, but honestly the question caught her off-guard enough that it was the only thing her mind would create in response.

"No...I mean..." Steven said, a bit off-put.

"Like, what ever career you throw yourself into in the end, do you think that it's gonna be what you really want to do forever?"

Politics wasn't an easy prospect, but it was one of the most important, where ever the road was going to lead her, she had to make a difference; starting with all the core decision makers.

"When I was a little girl, before I met you, I dreamed of being someone who wanted to change the world." Connie answered. But the more she thought about it, she would have to understand change herself.

"But now that you put it into perspective, I suppose I could be where the world needs me in that point and time."

Steven stopped in his tracks, which confused Connie as to why he did. Looking at him, his expression reminded him of Vivi in a way; stoic...unreadable.

"What is it?" She asked, concerned.

A way of how his mind could work for and against him. Whether it was the episodes of both the intense and the brief, molded from how anxiety ate at him like the ants ate at Connie, skittering about to find the sweetest source to cultivate those festering thoughts. A face, disconnected and released to find itself too locked on to something else...and it was how anxiety earned its income. The sky went overcast in that moment, with the smell of rain on the horizon.

"Do you determine that for yourself? It sounds more like you're putting the world on your shoulders." He commented.

And he was one to talk...although, the way he worded it...the Diamond King returned in her eyes...like they had in her dreams. Dreams of amber lit skies. Connie could have commented of how he was a Diamond who had done just that and as she opened her mouth the verbalize, it quickly shut upon realizing that he wasn't addressing the fact that it was an odd philosophy to live by.

But more of a _warning_ to watch her step.

He'd been there. He's been on top end of politics himself and Connie would lying if she'd admitted that he wasn't an influence on that marker in her head that told her to try. The one of many avenues of humanity...is to try.

"My Therapist said, that there is an ugly side to humans just as there is to Gems." He continued, his tone low.

"And I believe her. I believe that humans can inflict just as much damage as a Gem can."

Connie wasn't ignorant on that fact. Humans, Gems...both had their heroes and their villains in the scheme called life. Just learning to deal with the day to day was bad enough without the threat of the world hanging in the balance to throw you into the deep end.

"The good side exists because it needs to. The ugly side exists because it _wants_ to."

It was then Connie froze in place, hearing a familiar voice behind her.

Both of them turned to see a girl with a black hood slumped over her head and her hands in the hoodie's pockets. She threw back the hood to get a better look at them.

"You're Steven right?"

Steven was just as surprised as Connie was. He smiled and gave his hand out to her.

"Yeah...Vivi is it?" He said.

The girl nodded, giving out her hand to shake Steven's and smiling in return.

"Ah so you did talk about me." She said with a sarcastic quirk, before putting her hands back in her pockets.

"Good, good. I hope I'm not interrupting your little date here."

Kind of. But it didn't matter. Connie shook her head, kind of glad Vivi had decided to jump in.

"No not at all." She said.

"What brings you here?"

Vivi smirked.

"Oh ya know, casual walk. Trying to find some inspo. Sorry I haven't been at home all that much. I'm a busy girl around here."

So it would seem.

It was getting on in the day and a lot of the children at the park had gone home, leaving the three to dawdle around the playground to talk. Connie didn't want to put pressure on Steven, but somehow, deep within her own mind, he wanted to help her. He couldn't help himself when others were in need of assistance. If it could bring Vivi some assurance, that she was no longer alone, then it would be worth it. And despite what Steven had gone through and while he wanted to distance himself from Gem matters, he was the only being around right now that could give her a sliver of hope.

She sat on the end of the yellow slide, while Connie sat on the swing, gently rocking herself back and forth. Steven on the meanwhile sat backwards on the end of a red seesaw, his hands on the steel handle while he bounced himself slowly. 

"So Connie tells me you're a Gem." Steven started. The way he worded it, sounded like his old self. Eager to help. Connie figured as much, but...had to remind herself to stop the conversation if it appeared the pair of them where unconsciously where in a bit of boarded tiff with their heads; beating themselves up internally to the point it could escalate to some kind of impossible argument of sorts. Connie wouldn't think it would happen, but...if she's learned anything, it's that even if they had a lot in common, it didn't mean they had to be immediate friends, going from how distant both of them could really be with people on the norm.

"Yeah, apparently." Vivi answered, before she lit up a cigarette.

"Ya guys mind?"

Connie forgot to mention that. She found out she'd smoked when she could smell the tobacco wafting by as she slept and as Vivi entered in on one late night of nights. Steven nodded, uncaring, but really shocked by it. She inhaled and let the drag dangle between her fingers as she dabbed the ash at the end.

"Ridiculous but I figure it's probably the best answer I'm gonna get."

The way Connie looked at Steven told him everything without her even opening her mouth, urging him to talk to her about it.

"I believe her." Steven answered.

Vivi then snorted.

"Oh really? What are you two now, my 'rents?"

Steven raised an eyebrow, looking back at Connie.

"No no...he means more than that." Connie said, then looked back at Steven...it was really some kind of telling tennis game between the two at this point, trying to figure out how to best handle Vivi's situation together. Steven would know more, but...

"Yeah, I mean, I'm a Gem too...half of one, anyway."

It was then Vivi made a gun gesture with her hand and made a popping sound with her mouth.

"Boom...there it is." She said, before taking another drag, and letting the smoke curl out of her nose as she exhaled.

"Fuckin' hell you two are a couple with vivid, colourful world of your own. If I wanted to be made fun of, I would have gone to the boys dorms and let them call me their little grape pancake."

Steven and Connie exchanged similar looks of concern. Vivi would definitely be mistaken for a regular human with that foul mouth of hers. He got off the seesaw and approached her, bringing up his shirt to show his Gem.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He told outright.

The cigarette that was in her mouth had suddenly dropped out as her eyes went wide, focusing on the pink gemstone in his gut. She took a longer than usual blink, before she leaned in for a closer look.

"Huh...would ya look at that? Pinko boyo...but how I do know you're not doin' this to make fun of me?" She asked, still with the well of disbelief.

Only one real way to find out. Steven sighed. He didn't want to do it anymore than he had to, but never the less. He took a stance, summoning his shield on his arm. Vivi ended up picking up her cigarette and letting it dangle on the edge of her mouth, while she squinted at the round circular object that was summoned out of nowhere.

"Gems have magical powers. You'll have powers too." Steven explained.

If anything else, Connie gave praise to his patience and endurance in telling Vivi exactly what she needed to hear. It confused the Gem girl, her eyes dancing across the intricate, floral designs of Steven's shield, her mind had to have been racing for words to describe it properly.

"A Magician. Ehh, pops back home wouldn't be too proud to waste my potential on magic tricks but I say stuff em..." She joked.

Sometimes Connie couldn't tell if she was being serious, that book of hers in an entirely different language to her own. Vivi unzipped her jacket, this time wearing a deeper purple prop top with a flame pattern, and showed off her Gem to Steven. She blushed and turned her head away.

"Just imagine anyone watching...thinks this sheila's probably showing off her tits for money or worse. I'd get more than the local buskers as a stripper."

Connie kept staring at Steven's face, who was actually serious, ignoring Vivi's obvious vulgarity. Vivi then zipped her hoodie back up and dropped her cigarette on the ground, and dug the heal of her boot to get the flames out.

"Fine...I'mma Gem. You convinced me good sir." She said with mock salute.

Steven then sighed....though the type of relief was debatable.

"So...Stevie boy, I got a suggestion for ya."

One look at him and Connie could tell he was already exhausted. Some days were drainers for him and he'd have to find a motel earlier than the itinerary demanded him to. He'd let Connie know otherwise.

"..Yes?" He responded, trying not to sound tired but failing hardcore. Connie noticed this and realized that he needed to leave. Or Vivi needed to. This had to be her last question before Connie could pull him away.

"Ya travelin' from what ConVOY's been sayin'. If you want some place to stay, my man Fez can hook ya up with the best room in the joint. Go to the place on Edison Street, tell em Vivi sent ya. He'll set ya straight." She said with a wink.

"For now, I'll let ya's get on with it. That first assignment ain't gonna finish itself."

* * *

It was weird situation for them to now be placed in. Even with such a revelation, Connie had to wonder what Vivi was aiming for. She still wasn't convinced on her origins, forcing Steven out of his comfort zone in order for her to realize it. Was she...in denial? Was the way she was acting some kind of...way that she trying to cope with the information provided?

As it started to rain, Steven and Connie ended up going back to his car and drove off, aiming to take her back to her dorm. No. She needed to get Steven to tell her how he was feeling, because the way he kept his mouth shut from then on disturbed her. Perhaps another session with his therapist was in order. He was due to talk to her on the Monday from what Connie could remember so...

"I'm sorry Connie." He said, his voice weak.

"I tried."

He did. He really did.

"And you made a valiant effort Steven." Connie told him.

"Thank you."

He still didn't look too keen. Connie understood it though. Gem issues weren't the plan on his own, fresh and ordinary adventures. It was his that he had to cope with and with Vivi, it made Connie feel a tinge more guilty for having him be like that to her. Depression was life-draining and it wasn't something that would go away in a day, a month in or a year. Human to human contact would not have been a problem. Again, strangers in a strange place made for humans by humans who didn't recognize him was more akin to him being a needle in a haystack. Or a pink lion alongside the regular ones who just accepted him as he was.

Steven never stood out like Vivi did though so he could be inconspicuous and no one would have to question his human status, taking him at face value. Another sheep on the flock of unknown faces.

"Hey, let's just get you settled in at your motel room...and we can lounge about for a while and order take away. How does that sound?" She asked.

It hurt Connie's heart to see the misery pile up on his face...and the water gather up in his eyes and his breathing became labored. She had to get control of this and fast.

"Pull over."

Without hesitation, Steven parked the car on the side of the road to a complete stop and turned off the engine. Connie could tell he was holding back as much as he could for her sake, but he didn't have to. Not around her. She put her hand on his back and rubbed it, before he collapsed on the steering wheel and begun to sob. Connie remained vigilant, knowing he do this when the events of a day or two became too much.

The rain began to bucket down harder than it had been earlier, the sound of the the drops hitting the roof did little to muffle his cries. All Connie wanted to do, was get him there and comfort him until he found himself capable of driving again. It wouldn't matter how long it could take, only that to let go of what pressure he had put on himself in the meanwhile. 

Her mind tuned back, like it always did...but this time it reminded her of the mysterious place his leviathan took her, where his power could control the weather, not consciously however. Whether or not that was a new permanent Diamond power or something now would be a theory only he could potentially prove but...

When it came to him drying up, Connie had found the box of tissues in the backseat, handing a few to Steven so he could blow his nose. His breathing eventually went back to normal and Connie gave him a moment to allow him to collect his thoughts. She'd lost him to the sea of ghosts briefly, before he snapped himself out and looked out the front window.

"Vivi said go to Edison Street didn't she?" He asked Connie, his voice still croaky.

Connie nodded.

"Yeah. She did."

She was impressed with how well Steven was handling it. While she intervened where she had to, Connie would be there if he needed her, but otherwise his aim was to try and manage the episodes on his own. Dark phone calls in the middle of the night worried Connie constantly, with Steven having to do follow up calls to apologize. He didn't have to...Connie knew him well enough from his intentions.

* * *

Getting to the motel, they eventually spoke to the Fez and name dropped Vivi in the process. Turns out, they ended up getting one of the rooms at half-price, so that was a bonus. Going inside, it had two singles, the walls of a retro brown color and a flat screen tv at the back. Connie ordered the pizzas, turned off the main lights and left the bed side lamps on, creating a comforting glow in the room as Steven laid back on the bed and watched TV.

There was something so appealing about this...how simple it was. The beds were comfy and there was no distinctive odors...Steven had apparently complained of some places having the worst and even ended up getting a complete refund and getting the heck out of there when the smell he round was so repugnant, it made garbage smell like perfume. He didn't even _want_ to know where the smell had come from.

His stories made Connie laugh, and when Connie laughed, it made Steven smile. When the pizza arrived, Connie would watch the streams of cheese stretch as they took each slice, like it was desperate to hold onto its buddies.

Now full with several empty pizza boxes all over the floor, Connie turned the tvoff and had laid on the other bed and looked at the roof...according to Steven, it was the first he'd seen without any stains on it, making Connie snort for no other reason than the tone of genuine surprise in Steven's voice.

Maybe Vivi was right. They did have a vivid, colourful world of their own. This room, with just the two of them in it....Connie laid on her side, her front facing the contemplative Steven who was still looking at the perfectly white ceiling. He could have been out of it again, but Connie was content with just staring at him for now.

"I should get you back to your dorm." He commented dryly.

Or not. He was either thinking too hard or his mind just ran with what ever it liked to play with hard enough that it served as a complete distraction to his reality. But he was right..she should head back. It was still bucketing out there, however and Connie's head ran with the million and one risks of remaining here. For one, her heart hinged on one that collected her nerves to fray them upon just looking at her boyfriend without any other visual cue...other than him finally allowing himself some peace.

Although, she could tell something was up. Steven would be worried for her safety...unless he was doing what he used to do to Volleyball on Homeworld and was pushing her away from a impending, bad scene.

It wasn't enough to convince Connie that that was the case, but back then it was one of his more notable, terrible habits. The anger and the fury of the Diamond King. But he was not a king here...nor a prince. One in disguise and was okay with pretending to a mere pebble in the pond...tiny and underneath the surface with everyone else.

No, Connie wasn't going to be fooled. He couldn't fool her. She's seen that terrifying side and she's not fearful. Cautious, but not scared. She refused to leave her boyfriend in this melancholic state he'd fallen into. And playing blame...recalling it from last time, helped no one at all.

Getting off of her bed, she ended up shoving her bed next to his, much to his confusion as to the noise she made as the beds clunked together. Jumping back on the bed, she rolled herself across and laid next to him. Nerves could beat her but they didn't. Steven, however, wasn't sure how he should react; instead, his mouth was left agape and his eyes wider than before. Connie smirked, putting her hand to his cheek, and gently pulled his face towards her as he leaned in to give him a deep kiss, followed by resounding wet pop.

What prompted her to do this was out of a sweetened desire to just...spend as much time with Steven as she could. The two wouldn't be able to see each other for the next few weeks and the thought drove her crazier now more than ever. Young adults, coming of age and all the silly hormones making them do silly things. Connie could restrain herself where required but...like Steven, she's lost that battle for control...for reasons good and bad.

But here they were, alone in a decent three star motel room. No one else to bother them and it sent Connie's heart to the moon and back. As for Steven, he raised a single hand to her cheek, feeling it under the tips of his fingers as his eyes took all of her in. His own chest thumped hard as it did on the day he first kissed her on the Pink Throne, as hard as it would be for the beautiful girl he loved, for the surreal became the understated term of the cold, wet night in.

The sudden spell of warmth that spread across his akin had Steven end up sliding his jacket off and his sandals...and Connie did the same, giggling all the while in the position to try and tame their quivering nerves. Sliding back towards each other, they both sat up as Steven was the first to put his hand on Connie's waist. Their faces were deep red as Steven's head fell, not out of embarrassment, but out of unrequited shame.

"I uh...well..." He croaked, using his other hand to rub a finger against her arm. They'd been dating for a while now and this was the first time he'd been this forthcoming with his intentions. Normally, Connie was the one to act and to propose intimacy on different tiers. This time, the act of Steven taking his jacket off was prompted on his own. Most kisses were during the day and were at his house or hers. Short, sweet without anything further than the simplicity of their love. His act was incredibly telling without the words. It didn't need them.

And him on the road for so long without the contact had him starving more so...hungering for something but not being quite sure what. His fatigued eyes made a lengthened trail through the twilight of the sight before him, going from the orange, white and green diamond- patterned blanket first, going to her feet, her bent knees, her waist, her chest, then finally her face. A shyness Connie found extremely adorable.

"What do you want Steven?" She asked him in a whisper.

There would be the...topic of sorts that would have inevitably come to pass at some stage in their relationship. Connie understood enough and it wasn't the stuff from just her studies. Her mother, her father...the kids and teenagers back in high school. All that collected data, processed into information. It was sociology in a nutshell, when broken down into its most basic form. You could say that of other topics and studies but namely...

Steven in his own, little group of unique individuals against the ordinary Connie Maheswaran, one sheep in the giant flock of humanity. A Venn Diagram could only prove so much however...putting her hand on his shoulder had his eyes unconsciously look at it, before going back to her concerned face again. He didn't want her to be worried but it was there anyway so he couldn't exactly stop her from doing so. Unless he was completely honest.

"It's weird..." He said, with a bit of nerved chuckle.

"Vivi...she seems more human than _me._.."

Connie rolled her eyes. She wasn't annoyed at him, but the other Gem made more an impact that Connie had believed. Was he... _jealous_ of her? Was that why he was crying earlier? Connie shuffled herself a tiny bit closer to him, and brought both her hands to his puffy cheeks to made sure he continued to stare at her properly and only her.

"You're you Steven." Connie told him outright.

"I don't care how human or Gem you are. I don't care if you're a giant monster...I just want the Steven in front of me, whomever he decides to be."

That much Connie could put forth into his noggin...and her sacrifices were only meant for him to be him and only him.

"Now...what do you _want?_ "

He could have said anything. He could have told her to leave and she would. He could have told her to dance and she would. She would get him what he wants because he deserves it.

Clearing his throat, Steven nodded, his face going beat red again. There was this innocence to him that Connie loved so much...and he wasn't the most...physical of individuals on a particular scale that called attention to it during these private moments.

"I want...Connie; the woman who's going to change the world." He answered, truthfully, whole-heartedly...confidently.

"But..with the way things have going between us...I've been having...thoughts..."

Connie knew exactly what he meant with that statement alone. And he sounded uncertain about it. The butterfly wasn't causing this, but the timid rabbit by his feet, threatening to flee when given the chance. She just smiled and cradled his cheek with her hand. A sentiment shared in all of his forms as her mind replayed his corrupted, spiky magenta form. No matter how big or scaly, it gave off the same reaction from Steven, who slowly closed his eyes and leaned into it, the sense of comfort only Connie could give.

"We don't have to do any of the...heavy stuff." Connie assured him.

~~_Time is still our greatest ally_.~~

"Let's do what the cool kids do. Make out."

Blunt and intentionally comical in the way she worded it but it would pretty much paint the picture for Steven instantly. He nodded and chuckled. Confidence poured back into him shortly after as he smiled.

"I wouldn't mind getting some practice in." He said in a flirtatious manner.

With that prompt, Connie couldn't be happier with that immediate kick in her head telling her that he was comfortable with this. She took a deep breath.

"When ever you're ready...take your time."

Truthfully, with everything they had been through, Connie kind of expected Steven to be overly cautious when it came to them kissing. As in, the more...intimate, behind closed doors versions. And while they were a bit older now, the idea would stick with Steven as to how he could go about this, worrying about getting it wrong and that their first kiss was pure and sweet and a fluke. Now, with their hearts charged and their bodies eager, the terrifying villa in their hearts craved more visitors to hold them as heavier burdens and ways to satiate the urges in the safest way.

Maybe Connie didn't want safe, personally. With being a Knight and a swordswoman, Connie's had experiences on the battlefield. She knew danger and tempered herself with training and guidance. For Steven, while he did still love love, he had zero influence from other kids and teenagers the conventional way. So of course he'd be concerned on not doing it right and that doing it wrong could spell disaster.

And when it came to disasters...you'd find Steven Universe on the list of examples in the Oxford Dictionary, followed by the prompt. "When there's a giant, alien disaster, I expect to see Steven there on the forefront in some way shape or form."

Not really, but something like that.

She let him guide and take his time into initiating the kiss. He closed his eyes and minimized the gap between their lips, feeling Connie's soft pair on his own. His grip on her waist tightened, his fingers digging into her dark green shirt as a slight grunt escaped his throat as they remonstrated. He felt Connie's tongue touch and push above the bottom lip, demanding entry. A spare hand slathered its way to the back of Connie's head as he pushed her closer to himself. His bottom jaw quivered with nerve, but otherwise allow himself the understand her true taste and the sensations it sent through the pair.

Wet as the rain outside and yet warm as the sun on their skin. The feeling contrasted but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. A few unintended whines from Connie's throat with the a burn from her chest telling her mind to splinter off in different directions, telling her the new needs and wants of her reality. It took her to places unvisited, to where the bravest would tread, stumbling around in the dark with only a single candle to light the way through such a complicated maze that was her mind.

It directed her as it directed Steven, to allow them to lean back on their sides, entangling their legs, shuffling about as his hands pushed her body as close it could to his own, like they were on the verge of fusing...but he had enough control, his mind only able to fragment so much as Connie found a leg of hers sliding across his. What does one do, when the pleasuring burn between them has enough flames to work with, but could always do with a bit more fuel?

A stray hand went under her shirt, sliding upwards across her stomach. Connie brows furrowed briefly, her nose making a brief high pitched breath, as she felt the tickle of his fingers against her stomach. She was surprised, but Connie definitely welcomed the spark it sent running through her like tiny fireworks. Her own hands found their way around his neck, running her them up it to the back of his head, feeling his soft hair beneath her own fingers.

If Connie had the same telepathy as before when she connected to his beast, she would tell Steven on how proud she was of him right now. This type of closeness, to Connie's selfish desires, was what she had been wanting for years. But Stevens own desires were welcomed, to allow him the chance to explore without fear. Because indeed he was human and humans are predictable to an extent. He was...a boy, a man...eyes that had seen much, a mouth that could roar and a smile that couldn't be matched by anyone else. While they could do so, so much more, for now, this was fine.

Steven _needed_ this type of love and affection...and he _wanted_ that too. More so than anything.

And circumstances that old him to push down everything he had felt...and to expose such a release; the leviathan would win battles, but not the whole war.

His hand found its way to feel the skin on her back, running over the fabric of her sports bra. Connie felt the tingle like a small ball of light that trickled down her spine, sprinkling its electricity throughout. Steven made a dangerous dare and it was amazing.

Connie wouldn't think that Steven would ever had the pleasure to touch another person like this. He wouldn't need to, but going with the contended sigh that popped out of his nose, he enjoyed it...which was all Connie could really ask for. Exploration into the unknown, the risk and the reward, the pleasantness of a battle won and victory gained.

* * *

It wasn't long until the nothingness of the void, the paradise of silence returned to the premise in her forethoughts. Connie could see the black cat with the golden eyes as it sat before her, gazing upon with its unreadable face. It walked away, confusing Connie, as she found herself suddenly alone and calling out for the cat to slow down, only, she couldn't even hear her own voice. Not that it stopped her from trying, like she was only calling out to the starless night sky and not even an echo was reflected in response.

It disappeared on the sight of a scene so...entrenched within her mind but she couldn't place it.

A TV, the brown, retro CT, stood underneath a dead tree, on top of other destroyed ones, broken screens with glass everywhere. And that's what it felt like, avoiding the sharp edges with her bare feet. A sky blue night gown, with longer, brown hair of yesteryear. The scorched earth, the scent of ash and charred wood on the still winds. Connie raised her hand, to turn the nob on the left hand side...and all she could hear was the static...she didn't want static..and the static itself sounded like someone was crying out to her and she didn't know what. Didn't know anything about this world of the deepest magenta. But it was there.

A shadowy figure on the horizon...three heads...a world ablaze in flames of white, yellow and blue....and green. A lot of green. The screen filtered in bars like those from tv test patterns except, alongside the white, the yellow...others appeared...

~~_Orange, the colour of_ ~~

~~_Green, the colour of_ ~~

_~~Purple, the colour of.~~ _

The cat appeared on top of the TV, though Connie found her head getting too close it. But she could hear...a voice in the static....more clearer...than ever...and the same sentence repeated, over and over again.

~~Gotta keep the world turning, gotta keep the world turning, gotta keep the world turning...~~

Black sclera, pink diamond pupils shocked Connie into a submission of temporary fear, before confusion took over. The Leviathan, rose out of the magenta stained pond, and ended up standing behind the cat...why though? Why was he there?

The triple green heads behind him soon disappeared into the starless sky of the night as the Leviathan growled. Like it was _warning_ her.

Warning her of what, exactly?

Her heart raced. Again, dreams were weird things to deal with but nothing as potent, as the creatures that could not voice themselves to her in the conventional sense. No words. Growls, screeches, static, songs of the unwritten. No lyrics, but reasons.

Reasons for the uncertainty.

Feathers fell down from above like rain. Birds. Swans...Owls...Crows...Jayhawks. Butterflies....the creatures with wings that spiraled above her, circled in washes of blue and of green and shades of turquoise. Connie felt like she was floating and she was; her feet no longer touching the ground.

Looking down, far from where she was, sat Vivi, sitting on a broken statue of a beastly creature that matched more up with ancient mythology than any real animal. Joining her were a lion at her feet, a bear by her left hand side and a snake on her right arm. She was entranced by them all and did not look as fearful as one would be. Connie herself, her thoughts a mess, the scurrying ants and confused spiders...more tangled webs, more of the ants getting caught by them and some managed to escape its grasp.

Which...served to cause Connie more grief, now finding herself suddenly stuck in the web, with it wrapped around her body and her ankles and wrists. Had she gone too far up? An question left unanswered as Connie tried to scream for help, but the silk was across her mouth too and the horrible experience of the ants crawling up her body was pure torment. Breaking free was impossible and the feel of the ants on her skin was more than what she could bare.

Connie struggled to breath and felt the need to vomit....and the static was louder than ever. More feathers fell from above, as Connie was unaware of the four pairs of black, blue and green wings that had started to grow on her back, were now being held down as well. 

And as the horde of ants crawled out of her mouth alongside a cough of feathers, her eyes burst in spoils of green liquid...and the sound of screeching birds became the siren to break reality.

* * *

Gasping for air, Connie twitched as she opened her eyes and tried to get her breath back. The sound the rain hitting the roof was welcomed, but it took Connie a while to realize she had fallen asleep...

That funny phenomenon called dreaming struck again.

It was warmer, and Connie could see Stevens iconic pink jacket draped over like a blanket. She blushed at the idea of him wanting to make sure she was cosy. Her eyes then focused to witness that Steven's arm was slumped around her waist, her back to him as he acted as the big spoon. Connie took what comfort that provided, to conjure a smile of relief. She swallowed, also taking in what solace she could find in the fact that he was still with her, sleeping peacefully. Her ears honed in on his soft breathing that brushed against her neck. No matter how old he would could get, such a rare sight and sweet sound turned him into a fragile child in her eyes.

Slowly moving away, as if not to wake him up, she took her phone off the bed side table and checked the time, yawning. A picture of herself, Steven and Lion adorned the background. It was three o'clock in the morning.

The two had made out to the point of their pure exhaustion and if Connie could, she would just watch his face for hours until he woke up. However, scraping away the edges to give way to realization, Connie had the unkind thought of wondering what her mother would think about this progression in a relationship, but that too, faded away with the memory of her mother telling Connie to protect herself and not be afraid to say no. But for now, she was content to reap all she could by touch alone and while this wouldn't last forever, her intent to allow him her comfort and to allow her to be in his presence would be enough quell the hidden desires for now.

Though, weirdly enough, she looked at her phone again, which had started to glitch and strangely pixelate. Unlocking it, she could see the picture on the background had gone pure black. Her apps had disappeared and only the green icon to call out remained. She clicked, then noted the long list of inbound calls to her number with stunned silence. But the names were in four black squares...Connie swallowed and begun to slowly freak out as she scroll down and it seemed to go on forever...with each call exactly three minutes apart...

No no, she had to be dreaming again, surely. She tried to turn her phone off, only for a pop up in an orange rectangle to almost halt her heart instantly with words that had more damage to them.

"Are you sure?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and slammed her phone face down on the bed side table. Looking at her hands, she was reminded of the geometric lines inflicted by the corruption miasma. She slid her legs over the side of the bed, and dug her elbows into her knees, interlacing her fingers half way through. Looking back at Steven, she wondered...her thoughts called on him constantly. She took the phone and tried to call the number that tried to call her, only noticing that it since then gone back to normal. The pictures were normal. The icons for apps had returned. And the list of outbound and inbound calls were all there. Connie took a deep breath.

She really was tired. The world would tell her she could save the world and in a few hours, so she'd be packed and ready in a flash, but right now...no. Not when her mind was showing off how crazy it could be when it was overworked. College shouldn't be like this. Connie shouldn't be here.

" _mMM....cONNIeeee_ "

She looked back at Steven who had stirred and stretched his arms. He was half-asleep, going from his murmurs and struggling to open his eyes. She stifled a giggle on how cute his tiny struggles were. Connie didn't want to leave, but...the debate in her head raged on, while she was putting his jacket on the chair and took a lighter white woolly blanket from the shelf nearby and placed it on him, tucking him in like her father used to.

The dream...her phone...it couldn't be explained. Steven using his powers during his sleep? No it couldn't be. Perhaps it was a good time to take that minor in psychology more seriously, namely the parts that dealt with the knowledge of groups...by going through individuals. Her phone then went off in response to a text, to which the noise suddenly scared Connie.

Looking at the message...it was from the unknown messenger. Connie ended up calling them Four Square.

"Stay right where you are. Don't come back until the afternoon." It said.

Connie was weirded out as how they knew where she was. Looking out, the owl of suspicion was no where to be seen. The raven of paranoia flew through her blood stream now.

She could ignore the message and go straight back to her dorm...but..looking down at Steven, he was twitching and moving...dreaming...Connie knew a thing or two, about dreaming. Shaking her head, the risk she could take, would take, should take bounced about, making it impossible for to decide for herself for what it all meant.

It couldn't be Steven doing this. He wouldn't mean to. He shouldn't be doing it.

And it made it all the more frustrating.

In the end she sighed, deciding not necessarily in defeat, but in acceptance of facts not proven. And Connie could, would and should accept full blown facts.

But she didn't, sliding back into bed and putting the blanket on herself. Steven was tender, as Connie used her usual gesture to ground him. The worst part of being certain in the uncertainty, the unknown reason but the action required to carry on it came before it did....and Connie hated it. The feeling of being lost in the grip of her own well-being came in the form of the ants that she couldn't quite get rid of. But it was there...the horror of what her deposition now faced. The results of the past, gnawing on souls like Stevens, had begun to grow their own, poisonous fruits for Connie to be unaware that she had been eating them too.

Her subconscious required Steven more than ever, a presence that needed to ground _her_.

For as she snuggled in to sleep, she had come to realize, upon closing her eyes, that reality became her war as well....and the rise would come before the fall before she knew it.

And Connie became terrified to lose any battle, only surrendering to slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not all Aussies are like Vivi, I swear.


	3. The Outline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie and Vivi play games and talk about stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew writing Smash Bros for metaphors turned out to be fun?'

It was a mild Wednesday night. The middle of the week. Connie was busy finishing up on her second psyche assignment, and ready to complete her third socio project. So much work, laboring over her laptop as she did. A known habit. A common habit. For for the small cracks in her life to spare, were filled to the brim of the scary thoughts of a dream that she could never forget.

Her mind continued to filter in to the previous Sunday morning. The rain had stopped but air was still fresh and damp. Steven woke up first, seeing Connie's face in front of him. Sleep was her real desire but it was nine thirty, so for what ever possessed him to do so, risked the wrath of the goddess as he began to tickle her, forcing Connie to push Steven away out of instinct. His snickers however, woke her up to where they must have just spent an hour just wrestling each other in the motel room. Connie took in all his laughter and his funny mood that just wanted to get a kick out of annoying her. They'd gone to have breakfast at the diner, before he dropped her back off later on that afternoon, with Connie specifically remembering that he decided to lick left over egg yolk on her face. She knew he was lying; she'd made sure to clean her face before they left. So he really was in a much better mind set after the day befores emotional roller coaster.

Through the sad fate of reality of life hit her shortly after, throwing herself back into the fray. At that current present moment on the eve of Thursday, she'd been texting Steven whom had just come back from visiting Lars. Wednesdays were usually him visiting him in space and spending the day with the only other human in existence that could semi-relate to him. And Steven would never stop gushing on how proud he was of Lars and that even if he, (he admitted he felt horrible for saying it) want to see any more gems, he felt more at ease with Lars and the Off Colors more than he did with the Crystal Gems. Connie was surprised, but was glad he was being honest with himself about it. She knew the feeling. She loved her parents, but never really wanted to be around them either.

These days allowed her such freedom in important, albeit temporary disconnections and held her new visions for her own future more on the lines of being herself without judgement. Speaking of judgement, as Connie finished up her break, Vivi had stumbled into the room, with more bags filled with cans of Cider. Connie never noticed the mini-fridge she had next to her cupboard before, as she opened the door and shoved the cans in, one by one.

If Connie could get a better idea of her room mate, was that she could have well been one of those kids brought up the wrong way. Connie did not wish to judge, but it was by the booze, by the way that when ever Vivi was in the room, all she would do was listen to music on phone, her laptop or she'd be playing games. Did she study? Connie had no idea. But the work she did was usually handed in on time and normally in neat handwriting if it wasn't printed out.

It could have been that she was a Gem...that Gems by default, were designed for a specific purpose...what purpose that was, had been the question Connie had in her head shortly after the revelation came to light.

And Vivi wants to find purpose. No one really studies philosophy without trying to find meaning to everything, or certain things. Given, biology of the human form would have had Vivi scrambling to find parts to herself that did or didn't exist. If she was anything like Amethyst, that she would have shapeshifted organs and other aspects of the human persona that would have others only really thinking she actually did have some kind of skin condition.

Why so human with the Gem so not?

"You play a lot of games Connie?"

It was the first question Vivi had asked her in a while. Connie was nearly caught off guard by it.

"Uhh I don't play a lot, really...mostly on my phone if I'm waiting for public transport or something." Connie replied.

"I used to play some games when I was younger and had a lot more free time. Well, maybe an hour or two in between all my other activities."

Vivi rolled her eyes, unimpressed. 

"Sit with me. Verse me in Smash." She asked, rather bluntly.

Connie honestly had nothing much to show in terms of how games had changed over the years. Stuff she's played on PC or other consoles. Her mother didn't really buy her consoles, but her laptop gave her some knowledge into it. Strategy used Connie's talent for problem solving and exercising her brain in deciding in which talent trees to use for her armies. She'd thought about buying a console recently for some periods where she would able to relax or play with Steven on the rare point in time where they could play together. For now, Vivi couldn't have had her timing any more wrong.

"I just finished my break. Maybe later." Connie answered.

And going by the biggest whine that the girl could create, she was not happy with that response.

"Pfff you can still learn stuff while we play. I....I want to talk."

To talk? Sounded serious. Connie would be happy to lend an ear if something was bothering her. Like she would for Steven. Vivi opening up like that was actually rare and the way her tone changed on that last sentence held the hint of trembling nerves. Relenting, Connie sighed silently, closing her book as she got up to go play.

Sitting on the edge of Vivi's bed, the latter chucked Connie a controller, setting up the game for multiplayer. So many characters, retro; new...some Connie recognized, some she didn't. She's played previous games in the series with Steven and for what reasons were obvious; she often picked the Swordsman. As Connie's focus went through the character lists, she was enticed to pick the angel, or the purple dragon thing.

Vivi picked the Witch with the four guns strapped to hands and feet. She looked pretty cool. Connie ended up picking the Dark Angel instead. Fond memories poured into her head of her using the Swordsman against the small pink thing Steven used to always pick. He said he was cool and extremely cute...no arguments there. But the two were only ever competive against each other and Connie couldn't for the life her remember if it was her or Steven who gained more victories over the other. The main thing was they had fun...back when they were only ever naive of what the future would hold against them.

The fight of the current era, however, held similar scenarios of wins and losses between the older Connie and the Poker-Face Queen that was Vivi. Her eyes, her form...still, even as her fingers rapidly tapped and moved the joy sticks around in the haste to win, so Connie couldn't actually tell if she was playing seriously on not. Through character and map shifting, with four lives a match; it was still a relatively even playing field. 

"You play a lot of RPGs? Specifically JRPGs?" Vivi wondered.

A fair few...some of the harder ones needed steadfast strategies too.

"Yeah. The grind is kinda like studying in a way." Connie replied.

"Repetition is important, even if it gets mundane and feels like a chore. You're doing it for a reason."

Vivi chuffed. 

"I was talking about morals in games." She said.

"You notice, how there's always this theme, some noble quest to save the world...then there is this huge plot twist that throws everything out the window. You don't expect it, but it's like, you play so many...you should know there's a twist by now...but somehow, you're always...surprised..."

Connie didn't think about it that much. It goes for a lot of stories. The twists, the turns as Vivi described. But the way the tale is told, even from the hundreds of books she's read in her, she knows the good stories from the bad. Real stories, like the one about Steven Universe, his rise, his fall and his rebirth...a story that was truer than true and Connie lived through it..felt its intensity, its rage its pain because she was there...she heard it, she felt it. She was a part of it. 

It was a story that told her much...the credence, the heartache...the love, the declaration...

Here they were, fighting heroes against heroes, heroes against villains, villains against villains and everything else in between; all fair game.

And games give you much to achieve. Much to collect, defeat and construct. To build ones skills, to allow the mind to figure out the world inside the game in and out, if you really wanted it to. She's collected Steven's mental fragments much in the same way...except it was a life or death situation, that still had her head spinning to this day. Some days, she woke up to check if the geometric lines were still there...that's how much of an impact it had on her, calling on disbelief on disbelief...she still couldn't fathom that it actually happened.

Maybe she should have her sanity check; her own Rose in a Glass Case.

"A good story has you thinking." Connie told her.

"Stories about life overall....if you read between the lines."

Especially the really good ones. Vivi just chuckled, slamming down Connie's character off the screen and dwindling her stock to two.

"Life is an inventory filled with _bullshit_." Vivi said, abruptly. Connie could sense her ire from her tone alone.

"Humans are, by default, dumb as fuck. The void in our heads is filled with so much crap it's not funny, growing up. But...for someone like me who...felt like she was born with something supposed to already be there is all for intents and purposes, bloody _frustrating_."

That certainly shocked Connie to the point she didn't realize she was already down to her last stock. Connie could agree certain people overall could be lacking in some crucial areas, all in all, not everyone was like that. There was evil, there was good and a whole lot of misunderstandings and false information being spread around.

"Is that why you're studying philosophy?" Connie wondered.

Vivi shrugged.

"Maybe." She answered.

"Maybe that's why you're studying sociology. People on the whole are also dumb. Collective group, a hive mind of insects just following the same paths as everyone else. But you're different. I know you are."

So she says.

"You're innocent. Seemingly. But you're a fighter. You work hard and I reckon you fight harder."

And as Connie knocked Vivi's character down to her last stock as well.

"How much about me have you actually studied?" Connie queried. Truthfully, there was this...way she formulated her own opinions of Connie with startling accuracy. Connie couldn't decide if she was to be impressed or worried. But she kept bringing it up.

"Enough to know you're a virgin."

And so Connie lost that fight, though that wasn't something she had been overly shocked about, her focus lost entirely.

" _Excuse me?_ " Connie said, offended.

Vivi just laughed, bringing up the stage select once more.

"It's fine, my little Conversation." She said, using yet another nickname that Connie hadn't heard before (she did, but she was internally sarcastic about it.)

"It's an observation, not a criticism."

The way she put it sounded like something else. Connie should not have been surprised something like that came out of her mouth, provided that the observation was as straight forward like it was taken from the obvious. Logically, Connie couldn't be angry about it. But she was and by letting it get to her like it did made her more furious at herself than she felt for Vivi. 

"I'm not sayin' to go out there to go poppin' ya cherry to quash my expectations but mate, I'm sayin' you can live a little...you know pain don't ya? It's in ya eyes Concord."

Pain. Pain discussed and pain processed, in the many paths it could take. Emotional. Physical and the redirections they could ultimately take. Now, Vivi reading her eyes was a new one. 

"You're not a holier than thou person, but generally have your head on straight. There's this road you set for yaself and I know you'll get there...but not without consequence."

Vivi brought something new in with every sentence that came out of those purple lips. A version of insanity taken on in logical form that made it appear like she was a rocky, gothic Careers Counselor of sorts. Conversations that went along the similar structure, lines almost verbatim...if you could forgive the accent and slang.

"Okay that's enough." Connie said.

She couldn't believe on how Vivi had somehow gotten underneath her skin in the way she did. And Connie got further annoyed by the fact that on how so quickly she had gotten worked up over it too. It was insane. From what the young Maheswaran could understand, going from how she too could read people, was that Vivi definitely had an underlying purpose behind all this talk. She wanted to talk so Connie let her. So what was it that she was trying to get across?

"Hehe...can't handle it Connoisseur?" Vivi teased, as they started a new match.

Connie smirked. Oh she could...she was only put into the world of surprise but refused to lose any further. Tightening her grip on the controllers with a tongue hanging out, Connie was prepared for anything, using her old faithful Swordsman for the first time in years.

"I'm just getting started!" Connie called out, ready for the next battle..

* * *

Vivi never really elaborated on the point she had tried to get across. As the light of the moon poured through the windows, Connie had laid in bed in the cool crux of the night, her arms behind her back as she delved into the deeper prospects of what had just happened. Odd, peculiar...the confusing mind of Violet McCudden; the Gem as far as Connie herself knew, had only perceived her life as a human until just recently. Sleep was out of the question.

For what she had said about humans would be perceived as total pessimism, Connie wasn't silly enough to think all humans were the same. She didn't like thinking that people were 'dumb' perhaps mentally challenged or they literally thought differently to most people. A human mind would think that way and it did...tact and respect were the two main keys that prevented people from unlocking their harsh perceptions of others. Because for a persons faults, they had their good points.

Like Gems for that matter. Connie thought back to that conversation with White Diamond on Homeworld, before they got to heal Steven's corruption:

 _"Pink may have been...troublesome but ultimately, there were her good qualities as well. Only the bad ones needed to be tamed._ **(^1)**

The same could be said for anyone really.

"Hey Con." Vivi called out from her bed.

"There was no pressure from me earlier. You're free to go at your own pace."

Connie furrowed her brows with confusion. Her observation was just that, nothing more.

"But what I was actually wondering is...if you want to cross into the path of ya know, the living...I'm gonna take you out somewhere special Friday night...my treat."

Such words sent Connie's nerves fraying. While she was...social, she had friends...she had Steven...but such contacts themselves were non-existent and were going to be non-existent. She had planned to do her normal routine which worked and had been working for herself for years. Why break a good streak? Connie let Vivi had her say, before she could say no to it.

"Are you going to ask me to to commit an act of infidelity?" Connie asked with a hundred percent dull toned sarcasm.

Such a tone had Vivi snorting with amusement.

"Maybe to your body...wait that didn't sound right." She said.

"Let me rephrase that...I'm taking you somewhere for your body alone...and no one elses... except for the hands that have mastered the finest craft man has ever created."

That didn't sound right either.

"I appreciate your uh...offer." Connie told her.

"But I would also appreciate you to stop tiptoeing around and tell me what your plan is or I'm not going."

Great, now Connie herself sounded so immature with those words. Again, Vivi was a quick mistress, a seamless seamstress in getting Connie riled up. It wasn't a Steven, flirting type of teasing either. It was a new experience all together that she never had with anyone else.

"I tell you, you're gonna outright say no." Vivi told her.

"But, the plan is, I'll take you there and show you...then you can say no. Deal?"

Deal? Was this some sort of joke to her? How did Vivi think, believe and perceive Connie's intentions from the get go? Was she in fact, a type of Sapphire who could see into the future? Or could she actually predict the actions of others from their actions and their body language alone...it dumbfounded Connie to no end. Because the nomination of choice would be the only thing Vivi could rope her in with and she was really good at it, much to Connies consternation over it. So now she had to think hard...really hard. Because would it be worth the risk yet again to try? Connie vouched for trying as any human would dare to if the reward was worth it in the end.

Connie sighed, taking her phone and checking the time. Her conversation with Vivi was put on hold. While it did say eleven thirty, Connie had since received another text from Four Square.

 _Go there ._ It said.

Shock ran down her spine. Shooting up, Connie looked around, checking to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. She felt the heat of paranoia run through her, her eyes like daggers as they stabbed across from side to side, trying to find this mysterious eavesdropper.

She had no reason to trust this stranger...the same one who told her to stay in the motel with Steven the night before. Connie kept this to herself for now, but now Vivi was sitting up, trying to figure what had Connie so frantic as she scanned the room. 

"What's wrong?" Vivi asked, actually voicing her worries in a normal manner.

A hand ran through her hair as Connie's mind went into overdrive. Everything with Steven, everything with Vivi and now this had her mind swimming in circles, losing thoughts out of the school constantly. 

It would have been enough with the Psychic Transmissions and the dream after dream of everything that no longer made any tangible bit of sense in the basis of her normal outline of reality. She just _wanted_ to study and get through College with the least amount of external, destructive interference. Though, the matter of the outcome in staying with Steven that night wasn't the worst experience. Quite the opposite...Connie should have found it extremely disturbing that she had this...messenger out of nowhere...this... _stalker_...(the term _horrifying_ her)

Except she wasn't. The debate raged on in her head, thought after thought after thought after thought...

"Will it hurt?" Connie questioned.

Vivi blinked, her face unable to be seen in its entirety in the dark.

"Uh....oh...yeah...but it's like, not the worst pain....depending on the choice you make...it could hurt really bad...or it might sting slightly. You'll know when we get there."

A deep breath....the calm before the storm. Connie had to remember her choice to back out at the last minute was given to her. She surely hoped that Vivi reminded herself that fact too and she couldn't hold Connie back if she made that decision herself.

She trusted Vivi more than she trusted Four Square. That was saying something.

"Fine, I'll go..." Connie relented.

She heard Vivi rapidly clap with enthusiasm.

"Oh boy, yes finally! If you go through with this the whole way, I might even shout you the second time! Hell yes!"

That was dependent if Connie liked...what ever she was suggesting first. Though, she was still annoyed at the fact that she still didn't divulge her plans with her.

* * *

It was a Friday night. It was their first outing in town together since Connie arrived at Jayhawk. Clear, bustling and filled with people. A warmth and a cold...within a paradox holding the aromas of smoke, booze and the odd kebab stand.

The nightlife was another world entirely. Connie would never have seen herself walking alongside and walking past those who never feared the night itself, going about their way the only ways they knew how. She's done studies on certain day time groups. Old people and other students and people in history. Those kinds of people. So seeing people in this new shade of light, under neon signs and the buskers who could brave the night time hassles and reap in more money than those who played in the safety of the day.

Vivi thrived in this. She was the happiest after sunset with the biggest grin Connie had ever seen her wear. Despite her earlier statements, she didn't look at all angry or sad. If Steven were here, he'd comment that it would probably because she finally had a friend who could now join in her in her night time pursuits. Connie would have imagined how lonely Vivi could be some times. She had friends, but no one like Connie who saw her for who she really was.

Was she that comfortable now? Was she even thinking about the fact that she'd never been human to begin with? Who's to say. Vivi was a complex nut to crack, her true intentions relatively unknown, but all Connie could figure out was that she was extremely good at reading people and her guesses as to the aspects of certain individuals was second to none. So studying philosophy, however...she wondered, what was she really going to get out of it?

Going down an alleyway, Connie instantly felt the chill, knowing what could usually go down in alleyway this time of the night. Even with Vivi by her side. Connie could fight, but she didn't have her trusty sword to bluff people with (imagine the controversy with the scholarship girl with her sword on Campus that had just murdered a man. That would not go down well.)

She'd taken her in front of a place, its sign in bright neon pink letters.

Ink Link.

Was this?

"You're making me get a tattoo?" Connie said, astonished.

Vivi's grin only grew wider.

"I'm offering to get someone to do one for you." She corrected.

"I'd do it myself, but I rather have a professional do it for you first."

Good grief, what would her parents think? Not to mention the thought of Vivi doing tattoos herself came out more disturbing than Connie would have lead herself to believe.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the artist. He's a swell dude."

Inside was mostly dark, with Connie's eyes instantly focusing on the instruments in the middle of the room. 

"Hey Sparky, where' ya at ya lazy bum?"

A tall man with a bald head, black leather jacket and white shirt came out from the back room, having cleaned his hands. Connie could see the numerous amounts of tattoos he had on his persons. Intricate, curved, colored and the words 'I tried' written on top of a picture of a bird laying dead on its back drawn on his left forearm. He looked...imposing but the way he shook hands with Vivi so casually...didn't exactly ease her all that much.

"Heya Vivi long time no see!" He called out.

"Yeah ol codger, I got a new victim here for ya." Vivi told him.

She had to be joking...Connie was slowly getting Australian humor...nevertheless, he shook hands with Connie, introducing himself as per the formalitiies. She was nervous as all heck and still was on the fence on if she really wanted this or not. Getting a tattoo was a permanent commitment. So she had to decide there and then if she wanted out right now.

"I was thinking, something small for her to begin with. Nothing OTT or intricate." Vivi suggested.

Or even the design aspect. Connie had no time to think about this all. If Vivi had just straight forward with her the other night, then Connie would have had a least 48 hours to mull it over...not at the last minute. It brought up ancient wells of anxiety, with Connie filtering her head for a good answer.

"Not a prob. Simple stuff like text or a favorite character or something that has a meaning that no one else but themselves will understand. Only you make of the meaning." Sparky suggested.

"Or I have a book here with designs if you're stuck on ideas."

Connie had to think it over and think it over fast. She wasn't prepared for this, but thinking on the spot was normally easy for her. Well, easy for the battlefield where her priorities were on how she could take a threat down and making sure she was going to stay alive. Prospects, concepts simple because defeat could mean death. But now she was out of it, out of the threat zone and now having to deal with an actual social life and love life became the new battlefield of the new era, alongside every other thing Connie had to deal with right now.

Vivi was busy flicking through an artbook, pointing out the simple designs she liked and gushing or laughing at them. Sparky designed some of them himself as he explained. Connie didn't like some of the more...risque...no way would she be putting anything like that on her body.

She still had the choice to flee...but...seeing Vivi this excited over Connie getting her first tattoo...Connie should not have cared too much about disappointing her. But, her happiness was such a warm filling property and it was a rare sight to see. It was a decision that had to be done on her terms and wishes however, which made it that much more difficult to decide with what she really wanted.

A reminder of her time at Jayhawk with the symbol? No, too corny....Lion? No...

She looked at her phone, out of a habit to look up pictures that she had saved into her phone. A usual common habit to where she had downloaded pictures of flowers...a flower would be nice. Although, the phone then glitched out briefly, showing a symbol of Four Square, to where the squares moved position every few microseconds, briefly before turning back to normal. The images had since been burned into her brain and what ever possessed her to do so, suddenly Connie had an idea. The simplest of the simple...

"Hey Vivi...I think I know what I want...."

* * *

The process itself didn't take that long. For the life of Vivi, she couldn't fathom why Connie would want something like that. But it was what it was...and when asked when it meant, Connie just said something along the lines of, a pixelated bird. Connie drew it out first beforehand and showed it to both of them. Vivi had to squint, then claimed she could see the bird, although how much of that was true was dependent on where Vivi's imagination went. And whether or not her humor extended to make fun of Connie's decisions....again. She did mention that she could see it as a peacock, however. It was supposed to be like that. Imagery that was meant to be up to the aforementioned imagination of the individual, the idea itself actually having an ounce of cleverness in it that Connie admired the more she thought about it and her total confidence within the whole ordeal grew. It wasn't going to be overly complex but the irony with that was perfect to Connie.

Even Sparky was more than glad to do it and was actually proud of Connie for taking his advice. Its a symbol with meaning to her and to her alone. He'd inked her on the her left arm, near her shoulder where it would be covered by a regular day to day t shirt. That was fine by Connie. The pain of the process wasn't at all that bad. A tiny sting but Connie had worse. (She didn't mention the fact that she had a sword shoved through her gut a while ago...so it was no where _THAT_ level of painful.)

When all was said and done, the transaction complete, the two walked out of there, with a new sense of pride flowing through Vivi more so than Connie. Truthfully? Connie did have getting a tattoo on her unwritten bucket list...she just didn't think she would get it so soon.

The two continued to walk the streets, chatting the night away. Topics such as how would her parents think came up yet again and to how would Steven think came up as well. Vivi pointed out that it shouldn't really matter what they thought about it, only that Connie was satisfied with her decision.

Throughout the confusion and messy messages that ultimately said a lot more than the two-three words that they gave had her clasping for any sensibility...and only finding the pleasantness under the rainbows that they created for her. A guiding spirit, that lived in her phone that kept its eye on her. Trusting it, in its entirety, would be foolish to accept right now...since she had no idea why it was doing it and furthermore, who was doing it.

Had she lost her mind already? The outline of Connie Maheswaran was still drawing to conclusions that really weren't. Logic that would normally fill in the blanks had no longer existed and she had absolutely no idea.

It's a simple tattoo by a certified tattoo artist. He was licensed and Connie could see that certificate on the nearby wall before he started. He was someone you could trust. Sparky was there, liiving breathing...

And Vivi existed. Vivi existed to be a friend to Connie while she was studying...a being in between the people of her life that mattered the most to her.

Inherently going by the word of Four Square, however...twice now.....had Connie return home later that evening to properly examine the tattoo in the mirrors of the the Dorm bathroom, whole she brushed her teeth...

Her phone sat on the faucet...for some reason, Connie had kinda hoped that Four Square would respond to her texts in saying she got it done...though realized, why would Four Square care? Vivi only cared because Connie took up her offer...but she didn't know Four Square all that well and she was taking its advice.

No...if another text came up from them...she had to question it. What it wanted from Connie. Compulsion to do so was non existent...

What was their outline...anyway? Connie could only hone her eyes in on the tattoo itself, wishing it would input answers into her brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1: Needed: Chapter 31: The Pool Part 1  
> I know the Symbol looks similar to the Cartoon Network mug one from within the series.  
> However, this is one symbol of meaning with a specific meaning.


	4. The Signal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie and Vivi chat more in depth about Connie's relationship with Steven, before the two go on their weekend date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moar Connverse.....and a reintroduction of a favorite character.  
> Also, just expect long chapters guys...I can't help it.

A month on since Connie had gotten the tattoo. Her life didn't dramatically change because of it. No, the act of her getting it was more akin to one door closing as another opened. That kind of cliche.

The very act, that told Connie she had hit a criteria in the hierarchy of maturity. To some it would seem silly, but to wake up and see it in the mirror everyday, a decision she had made (albeit convinced by another) and it would stick with her. Neither a step up or step down, but a twisted curve, a move to allow her to move in more directions than she had already lead herself to believe she could have taken. Not a revelation of the highest sort, not a dramatic change...but but the smallest of keys could always hold the potential to open the biggest of locks.

College life went on as it did and her friendship with Vivi became much more casual and eventually, it was always like she had been friends with her. Life would have been comfortable on her own, but now she could see the benefits of befriending someone like her. So human in nature, but alternatively, she could forever wonder, if Vivi could make the decision herself, to explore the corners of the unknown, before allowing herself the full brunt of her own potential as a Gem.

Whether or not she wanted to, she never brought it up again however and Connie was so used to seeing Gems of many colours that she honestly forgot that Vivi was a Gem and that she blended in so well with humans. 

Though it had Connie go down the trail with the thoughts of her own perceptions of humanity. She thought so little of humans and Connie wanted to raise a question on whether Vivi actually wanted to be human. The opportunity to ask never came, as Connie felt she could risk offending her, so it was just forgotten about...until the idea piqued into her head, when ever it wanted to. A signal, a sign, a place in time where the thought could pester her, then it was nestle itself into the lost corners of her head, until they would meet again, down the alleyways of her mind.

Steven would ask how she was doing and the response was always the same. A signal unto itself. A friendship born not on similarities...only they shared the cat of curiosity between themselves. Two contrasting individuals of contrasting origins and personalities. The rough but composed Vivi, alongside the controlled but ferocious Connie. A bit of ice in the fire and fire in the ice, like yin and yang. 

* * *

A Tuesday night, spent studying and playing music. Connie was clad in her white shirt and navy pants as her pajamas. Vivi being who she was, loved wearing her silky black night gown on most nights. As for the Purple Gems musical tastes, Vivi was someone heavy into trance and all kinds of electronic music but was also into lofi...the usually music that studying types thrived on. The two could share advice, pick up on where the other was missing. Casual, slow paced and slowing burning. Tranquil and peaceful. The colours of the room reflected order and chaos....hot and cold. Yellow and purple.

It remained still until Steven called around seven thirty. Checking in on his itinerary, she'd almost forgotten about his adventures in another state that he had been looking forward to trying one of the states famous vegan hot dogs. Reviews were positive going from the online ratings, but some complained that they don't even taste like hot dogs. So Steven, once the fine lover of such foods, would be the judge of that himself. Connie called for Vivi to turn down the music while she was on the phone. 

"Hi sorry I almost missed your call." She said.

"How are you Steven? How's your day been?"

Most days when they spoke were humbling and filled with the warmth that Connie always felt from hearing his voice. Though, the craving to touch him became apparent...while listening to him set her heart to the pace it always set itself to when she was talking or being around Steven in general, it paled in comparison to actually feeling his skin. Connie became rather freaked out by that internal discovery...

The night in the motel never left her head. Kissing him, feeling him and his hands on her back, on the verge of unhooking her bra. After the tattoo, the sting of something causing her both pain and a type of pleasure from just simple touches was indescribable. Her imagination betrayed her as she wished Steven did unhook her bra...and the thought of his hands on her body sent parts of her body, some of them sensitive, into temperatures only reserved for fevers and overused muscles.

" _Other than my cars radio and the cassettes tapes acting weird, everything's been alright so far._ " Steven said.

Connie didn't realize she'd zoned out the entire time he was talking; her intake of the mere audio, the pleasant tone of his voice alone, rocketed her head to another planet.

"Ohhh sorry to hear. So do you plan to get it fixed?" She asked.

He loves that thing...he wouldn't let it go on forever.

" _I was planning to head to the next town tomorrow to get someone to look at it._ " Steven said.

" _I checked one of the places...get this, an expert on Dondais. So if its get to that expensive point, the worst case scenario is they have parts to replace it. I love good timing...just not the money that goes into it._ "

And everything falls neatly into place. Even when things looked grim, all Connie could recall was his optimism when they were trapped in his bubble all that time ago.

She missed that.

Though some of it was false. It could be a front to something far more dire. Connie had tuned into check if what was saying was actually the truth and not just something he wanted her to hear so she didn't have to worry.

Steven promised he wouldn't be that way anymore but even Connie held her doubts. She trusted him to be honest with her and relatively speaking, he had no real reason to lie.

"That's great!" She commented with a smile.

"As long as you're enjoying yourself, that's what really matters."

He needed that much. He just had to want it.

" _Oh you know, it's good n' all...but you know one thing is missing._ " He pointed out.

Hassles from the Gems? Some kind of giant threat looming over his head?

"Steven I'm sure everything will be fine." Connie assured him.

If that's what he really meant; Connie had no idea what he was talking about. His tiny chuckle had her left rustling for other ideas.

" _I wish I had the girl I'm talking to in this very moment, sit right next to me as I lay back against the bonnet, left wondering if she's looking up at the same stars as me right now._ "

Red was the colour of her face right now. Connie was glad he couldn't see her, left trembling in the wake of his crafted charm. He was really working up on his flirting game, now which served to make Connie fall in love with him again and again. A fresh renewal that aimed to make her be weak for all the right reasons. Her eyes subconsciously went to Vivi, who had been laying on her side, on her laptop, but her focus on Connie with the biggest grin on her face. By uncommon sense, Connie sat up and turned herself around to go to her window and lead against the pane as she opened it, to allow the fresh air inside. No wind but the clear the sky on the outbound horizons.

"Yeah she is." Connie replied softly, her eyelids half drawn. She was unaware of how much of this was affecting her, her previously warm spots linking with concepts, correlating with them with parts of her mouth she had no control over, leading her to say interesting sentences.

"I imagine the boy I'm talking to, next to me...taking me by the waist..and putting his _lips_ to my _neck_..."

The thought was appealing to her...and had her subconsciously biting her own lips and forgetting Vivi was nearby, listening in to everything with a vacant but telling look of shock.

" _Woah,_ _Connie, Connie, Connie, take a step back! That's uhh a bit more forthcoming than I expected!_ " Steven called out frantically.

Wide-eyed and in sudden shock over the words that spilled out of her mouth, Connie felt the rushing wave against her neck that was no way as pleasurable.

"Oh, sorry Steven...I thought...I mean, it was uh...random." She said, suddenly ashamed.

Oh geez, she screwed up, she screwed up and screwed up badly in the heat of the moment...all the feelings that ran through her told her to babble out desires unearthed.

" _It's_ _It's okay, don't worry._ " Steven told her. The likelihood of that being true was quite low. A phrase, all too common on instinct for him, that annoyed Connie more than it set the peace.

" _I mean, look...I...no...uh..._ "

Glitched whines entered her ear as orange and black sequences entered her vision in short bursts of text.

_~~Four oh four....words not found.~~ _

Connie furrowed her brows, disorientated for a split second over goodness knows what. She looked at her phone...which looked...normal.

" _Connie, we'll go over this on the weekend. I don't think we should talk about it over the phone._ "

Which instantly brought the time, the horrible occasion where he threatened to break up the friendship over text. Oh the tables had turned...or he had learned something from her.

Figuring out which was worse became the new game. She'd fallen silent briefly, contemplating her sudden trench of idiocy wedged into her brain. She was never this stupid and careless. Connie should have known that it would have made him a bit uncomfortable. He was still sweet Steven on top of all the traumatic experiences he'd had to endure...and the last thing Connie wanted was to dig the knife in deeper with talk that he's never had to deal with. A new ballpark for him. Flirting was flirting but...Connie just couldn't help herself.

"Yeah, okay then...agreed." She said, now forcing a smile out of her instead of a natural one. 

Steven sighed with relief.

" _Don't...don't go blaming yourself. Now...I was thinking...._ "

He'd gone on about how he was planning to take Connie to go see a movie; any movie really. What ever was showing...it didn't matter. It was the two of them, hanging out, like old times. Steven didn't even bring anything else up, putting in all stops to make sure the pair of them had a great night. In the end, after they said their love yous and good byes, Connie was left slamming her back onto the mattress and smacking the pillow onto her face in pure aggravation, her screams muffled by feathers and fabric. 

How the mighty have fallen with mere words to bring her down.

"Geez...you... _wow_...Connie even I don't even know what to say."

Oh crap she forgot about Vivi. No, she didn't have enough mental energy to deal with her right now.

All she could muster, was a slight discontent groan.

"You're having _serious_ thoughts about him aren't you? Like, super serious. Hormones man, make you do crazy things."

Vivi didn't even have hormones...although, what would be the Gem equivalent? Something written in their Gem or it didn't actually exist. Vivi was just taught human stuff while. 'growing up'.

"You want him super bad...I can tell. But he's not ready from what I gather."

She would know...and Connie hated that Vivi was right. She moved her pillow off her of face, putting it next to her. There was so much Vivi didn't know...that no one but those close to them knew, about the extent of all the trauma and the torment both of them had gone through and how much it still affected them to this day.

"The thing is..." Connie said, sitting up and preparing to open up a can of worms she's never had to open in front of anyone before.

"He's gone through so much. And not just the stuff I told you already."

Namely, Steven's current situation about travelling the world and seeing the sights to find himself and his true calling.

"We almost lost him a while back. Lost to himself...and the downward spiral that lead him turning into a monster."

For that half hour, Connie unloaded everything onto Vivi, telling her how Steven left home, feeling unneeded by the Earth at large and ended up living with his Diamond family on Homeworld, where he ruled the roost for a while, which lead him to the downward spiral of losing himself entirely, burning himself out with the intense workload and coupled with a rebellion, was eventually corrupted into a giant leviathan like beast...to the only way they could fix him was through his Diamond family and Connie herself helping him heal and put him back together again.

To say Vivi was speechless was an understatement. Her shock, however, for either Connie for making the greatest story of all time, or she was actually being truthful. Connie didn't care if Vivi didn't believe a single word, only that it was quite cathartic to tell someone, anyone that huge part of her life that would sound incredibly crazy to the average person. 

"Connie I have one thing to say to that." Vivi spoke, her voice low and steady. She cleared her throat..

"WHAT THE ACTUAL _ **FUCK**?_"

Connie blinked, though, felt the impending sense of dread of darker times. The pain in the way Steven was treated...and it stretched as far back as the time White pulled his Gem out. Seeing all this cruelty inflicted on her then best friend, was a lot to bare...and while for some matters she divulged to her mother, that incident was not one of them. Physically, Connie pulled out okay but mentally?

She simply refocused on studies, with a new dedication to make the world a better place for any race...so that such agony would never have be inflicted on anyone. A pipedream but Connie had to strive for it;

"Mate. I mean, sheesh. You went through some genuinely harsh shit. Both of you." Vivi continued to comment.

" _Infinite_ amount of respect."

Although did Vivi really believe her? Connie wanted to interrogate, although the care factor was still zero and ultimately Connie just felt better for venting.

"Gem life does sound hectic. Hell, I don't blame Steven for wanting to hightail out of there. Ugh...this just makes everything else for me, that much harder."

Humans. Gems. Both the scales of life hardly favored one or the other and Steven's struggles to understand himself required balance that had proven to be near impossible for him.

"Were you hoping for freedom on the other side?" Connie queried. Grass is greener and all that.

Vii shrugged, scratching her head.

"I crave more answers than freedom." She said, before she got up to get another can, leaning over her mini fridge as she opened the door.

"But you want to take something from him. Not an answer, but you want a question."

A question of what, exactly. Vivi went back on her bed and opened her can.

"A question girls stuck in a stupor on what they want their significant other to ask. When their significant other wants them to ask and it goes nowhere."

Steven could ask her anything just like she could ask him anything. She knows when he lies to her now so he can't do that anymore. As for Connie, she considered herself the story-weaver, able to fabricate and tell the truth in a style that could be deemed true if it was good enough. But lying served her no purpose and it would hurt Steven more than it would help him.

Stories about much it hurt _Connie_ to see Steven in that much pain. It was all there, written down in the unseen book of his life. If it wasn't about bubbles or swords, or fingernails plucking out Gems, it was about seeing him corrupt slowly, painfully before her eyes. Holding them there, during those last moments...

 _~~Connie..I'm **tired.**~~ _ **(^1)**

So final and during that heated, tense moment when the leviathan emerged from the scorched earth like a newborn Gem, there it was...scrambled under the distortion. The jet black sclera and the Pink Diamond pupil peering through the crystal chandelier of deep flames of pink and magenta.. Him underneath everything. It _hurt_ Connie. It hurt her so _deeply_ that every second dream she had was the enduring and nagging instruction in her head from the nightingale of regret that kept telling Connie that she failed. That she could have prevented it from going as far as it did. 

"People kept taking things at face value." Connie told Vivi.

"Sensitive, kind and happy Steven Universe. Savior of the Galaxy."

By this point in the story, Connie had curled up on the bed with her back to the wall, her body lurched over her legs as her arms were around her knees. Self pity wasn't exactly worth much, but no one else was here but them and the story itself had gone to the stage where it wasn't worth keeping secrets either. Vivi was so intrigued however, her head was totally focused in on every little bit of detail Connie was telling her, that she had gone to get Connie a can herself, who accepted it without hesitation. The Maheswaran looked at the top of the can for a lazy moment, before she opened it and took her first sip as Vivi re-positioned herself on the floor before Connie's bed, sitting with her legs cross like she was a young school girl, listening to her teacher.

"What about you though?" Vivi put forth.

"I mean, yeah Steven went through excruciating pain for no reason than for people who hated his mom. Yeesh. But you, you saw, you felt, you heard...more than anyone else around him...you gotta be in some kind of...well, I dunno...pressure from all of that."

To that Connie did...but she could handle it better, if she could admit.

"It hasn't been easy. I love him, but...I always fear losing him." She said, before taking another sip.

Vivi nodded; trying to find meaning with that context.

“Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out.” She said.

"Criss Jami. We have our fantasies when we're younger. But the moment the fantasy becomes real, out comes the entire road to chaos alongside it."

She wasn't wrong. That reality wasn't indeed all it was made up to be...this..brilliant adventurous soul locked away and freed, only to find the downsides in due course and the soul stutters with both excitement and terror.

"Now you're having... _sexual_ fantasies about him...one step up from swords and magic." She said with a wink.

Connie blushed, taking another swig in the meantime. Connie was definitely not a little girl anymore.

"Y-yeah. I mean, I was told it was going to be a thing when I was older. It is a thing they teach in schools, protection, consent...I get that...." She stated, nerves anchored on her throat.

Vivi nodded in understanding, though her eyes dawdled to the floor for a moment before they refocused back on Connie.

"Well its obvious to me that you care that much about his well-being. You've been dating for a while now and it's never been a conversation." Vivi noted.

Connie rubbed her arm, her face's contortion giving way as she suppressed herself.

"He....we did talk about it briefly that night at the motel and I told him we didn't have to go heavy. I think he might be open to talk about it..though me and my dumb mouth had to squeak that small line to set him off...and probably scared him."

Vivi smirked, shuffling forward towards the bed. Certainly opened her interest.

"Mans a sweet heart through and through. Offers to be your friend, your first friend, your best friend and your boyfriend. That in itself, is a fantasy come true...a well paced slow burn that only most people would dream of, but very few would have the patience to deal with." Vivi said.

"I've seen relationships come and go...and my two cents to that is that you're over thinking it..."

Connie made a habit of doing that from time to time. She would have preferred to see things from a logical perspective, but the illogicality of life in general always had Connie on her toes and forced her to think differently and outside of the box.

"If I am going to make another astute observation, it's that you're intelligent. However, there is a difference in being told and having expectations and when it comes across in practice. Study is well and good but when push comes to shove mate, you gotta act quick or else you're fucked six ways to Sunday."

Or if what Connie could get what she really meant, was a lesson learned from Amethyst all that long ago. When _push comes to shove_...she had to go with what was natural to her and to trust her instinct more so. But it didn't stop her from just thinking about it all too much.

"You telling me this out of your own personal experience here Viv?" Connie wondered.

Vivi chuckled.

"Fuckin' oath. Told stuff in school...but I've learned more from doing said stuff in the real world. Out there, in practice and in battle. People _are_ educated, but they're also _stupid_."

Something she's mentioned before. On how they apply what they've been taught...people would take it all for granted. A logic Connie understood well enough, but more so now that Vivi was able to make it a bit more clearer. She too was...quite...smart in her own way. 

"Would that mean you're keen on learning your Gem side then?" Connie teased, taking another drink.

She would have to, surely. If anything that Connie did learn from Steven was that gem powers when left unchecked could go and would go haywire.

"Keener than spitting chips, surely." Vivi responded.

"But right now we're focusing on you. Now....I get Steven's situation. He's a mess. Again, an observation and not a criticism...and you're worried about hurting him. Am I right or am I _right_?"

Connie loathed how Vivi did this so well. Just...being able to get something out of a tangled web of discord in her own heart. She was right of course, but it frustrated Connie more so. Translating the chaos became important however and Vivi was doing what she could to help out. Her human upbringing brought her street cred and street smarts Connie envied. Not that if the worse would occur she would be on the front foot in dealing with the issue head on, it was more on general, young adult problems that normal people would have to deal with. Connie herself felt like a bit like Steven in the sense that coping with normal, every day life was near impossible within Era 3, that with peace, became the new smaller, delta lead streams of other issues left ignored for years.

Vivi's never had to do anything with Gem problems. Only human. But the human part she disliked now, for one reason owing to her existence and another to the way she's seen humans over the years. Human friends, human enemies. Gems were mostly Gem enemies, gem friends on that count, a reversal of sorts. Vivi's eyes were abnormal in color, but with human intent and expression.

"Yeah I guess." Connie replied, looking away.

Vivi nodded, taking another swig and looking awfully cocky about it too.

" _Yeah you guess_...feck....you're seeing him again this weekend right? Chats gonna be intense and rife with mistakes. Do. _..not._..rush it...you might do it, you might not...have your fantasies be fantasies...maybe start flicking because since you've been here you've been really gentle with yourself when you don't need to be."

Flicking?

"You can tell me to fuck off for an hour or a bit and not tell me why other than you needing...I dunno, time to 'study' alone without me hanging over your head."

_Flicking?_

"Look, I just want him to have a good time." Connie told her, not wanting to make it any more complicated than it already was.

"We don't have to do any funny stuff either. It'll be just like any other date."

Vivi then stood up, taking Connie's empty can with her own and throwing them into the nearby bin with flawless accuracy. Vivi jumped her bed again, lying back. Though, the cat returned as Connie herself leaned back as well, weighing heavy on her chest once again. A question, simple, defining...maybe not, but it was just a question. She had one had behind her head and arm by her side, to where she placed her hand on her stomach.

"If you don't mind me asking....do you remember your first time?"

Vivi went eerily silent with that question. Connie tilted her head to see that she was busy staring into the roof, her face void of any telling emotion.

"...Yes..." She said with a dull inflection.

Such a stature had Connie feeling that Vivi wasn't entirely impressed by it. She pursed her lips with the cat sitting there, although as Vivi shifted to her side, her back away from Connie.

"What was it like?" Connie wondered, hoping to gain insight.

Vivi then held on her knees to her chest.

"Nothing special." She replied about after a minute.

* * *

Friday night arrived and Connie met up with Steven via Lion in a different town this time. Vivi suggested that Connie text her if she needed help with anything, just in case things went south. Originally planning to wear casual clothes, Vivi insisted Connie wear something a bit more daring. A tight red dress with a black belt, faint red lipgloss. It wasn't anything too over the top, but the chest part was quite open. The night was going to be warm, as Connie put her hair up into a ponytail with a classic red scrunchie.

Connie didn't plan for much to go wrong. The town they visited was quite small and the nightlife was a tad smaller than the town by Jayhawk. The population was mostly locals as opposed to that of mostly students. The two met in the carpark and Steven was all smiles, busy on his phone again as Connie approached him. She had been tense, nervous...but melted under his kind stare. This was _Steven_...why would she need to be worried about everything when it was just _him_?

"You look amazing." He said, sending sparks through Connie's chest.

"Well, you always look amazing...just...accentuated I think is the word...and...is that a tattoo I see?"

Connie giggled. She reckoned Steven was doing his own little bit of study, going from how hard he could make her blush in recent times. As for the tattoo, Steven ended up examining, the cat on his shoulder now, squinting at the odd pattern.

"This reminds me of the inkblots my therapist used to show me." He said.

"Am I supposed to guess what it is?"

In a way, yes. While it really shouldn't have mattered, since it was designed to have more meaning to Connie than anyone else, the fact that Steven was okay with it and held an interest with it all the same made her feel better than expected. She was kind of thinking of him being shocked or dismayed, but he was definitely taking it in good stride.

"Did you want me to tell you or did you want to guess?" Connie teased.

Steven rubbed his chin, contemplating such a choice. His eyes were narrow, putting on his thinking cap for good measure. Connie became amused at the goofy expressions that kept shifting about. He had it, then he didn't have it...

"Yes...no...wait...I know....no....uhh...don't tell me...."

She gave him a minute...and he still didn't get. Impatience drew the straw as Connie ended up having to tell him, in order to get him to stop muttering to himself and ruining his brain.

"It's a bird Steven." Connie told him

He paused, blinked, before he chuckled under nerve and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh...yeah....oh yeahhhh now I see it." He said.

Connie rolled her eyes. Though, through that part alone, Connie could swear a bit of his younger self was shining through. But all that did instead, was to Connie with a reminder about what that symbolized in the past; his conscience...and denial. With that in mind, the owl sat on her shoulder, knowing that this was definitely a facade, as Steven held back more than he was letting on.

Although, that disappeared as she playfully punched him in the arm for being a goofball, then the two hugged each other shortly after and both gave a peck on the lips as Steven put his arm around her waist. He was a bit more forthcoming and more confident in his affections, which was more surprising but definitely welcoming.

The movie they had watched was called The Hagraven...it was about an ugly bird witch woman who terrorized a local village. A horror B-movie. Connie told him that they could have gone to watch any other movie, but Steven claimed he could take it, though certain scenes did have him grasping her hand as some of the jump scares. Connie did ask him if he was okay with such a film and offered to leave at any time, though he waved her off, saying that the bad CGI in the movie wasn't enough to have him too concerned. Out of complete concern, however, Connie held the habit of just keeping her eye on him anyway, tilting her eyes to the right to make sure that he was still comfortable with it.

His pupils would dilate, his breath intensified a fraction and the tight grip would get even tight on some moments. But even parts of the movie disturbing Connie more than she let on. The Witch's design for one..an old woman with a long pointy nose, hunched over with long, gangly limbs and fingernails sharp like talons. She had an affiliation for crows mostly and the scene where she summoned them to devour an old man stuck with Connie the most. She wasn't sure why, it wasn't even the scariest scene. Looking at Steven, though he was covering his eyes, not liking how graphic it was overall. The way that intestines were flung out...he didn't turn pink..but green.

But they managed to pull through, with the Hagraven being defeated...but...

The first thing Steven did as they left the cinema, was run to closest bathroom. Connie didn't delay him, her mind linking on to how long he had held it in for, but grimaced as she heard the echoes of vomiting coming from that direction. Oh well, there went the popcorn...

He'd cleaned himself up, exiting about five minutes later as Connie handed him to a bottle of water; making sure he didn't dehydrate. In spite of that minor mishap that he brushed of on being, well, stupid, it was decided that they both needed the fresh air, walking out side to parade the light scattered streets to talk...though Steven had his hands in his pockets and was slouching; an indicator of his own, internal transgressions.

"I thought I could take it ya know." He said, beating himself up again.

The horror movie itself was already to have been said to be a bad idea to begin with, but Steven felt confident enough, wanting to fight his demons...though they ended up winning that battle in the end.

"Like the graphics? Did you see them? Her forehead looked way too rubbery for one."

She had spruce him up with some humor. But the inner child within him was the shield reborn; the defender of his real truth. It was only recovered to give him more clarity to his actions. The only downside was that his old habit of suppressing his true feelings was still apparent. His therapist knew that too, going from past conversations. It was okay to suppress some, but not to the point where it became a topic of hurt and would manifest once too often with his infamous pink state.

He hadn't gone into it in a while which was good to hear. Unless he was lying about that too. Connie did not wish for him to lie to anymore but...as much as she felt obliged to, she had no right to control him.

"You've never been too picky before. What about the 'special effects' from Under the Knife? Or even the later Dogcopter movies, even Lonely Blade?"

Steven sighed.

"They never let the graphics get in the way of a good story that pulls you in, ya know." He said, his tone less tense.

Connie raised an eyebrow.

"Dogcopter had a good storyline?" She joked with a snort.

"Maybe when we were younger...now its all the nostalgia value being milked for what its worth." 

Steven's chuckle did indicate the nerves had been put aside for now. Everything within this moment, felt so...natural...so alive and it was nice. She'd missed this. She'd missed this general atmosphere and the overall company she'd known for years. It was precious, worth protecting. To laugh over something so simple, so human and so normal. This was a normal human conversation.

All could have been right with the world, except.

A shiver had Steven noticing how cold she was. The temperature had dropped for the night, so he ended up giving his iconic pink jacket to her, putting it around her shoulders. Connie was left stunned, wide eyed and warmed face from the gesture, subconsciously crossing it over herself like a blanket. It definitely was better than the breeze on her bare shoulders, but it was the aroma of Steven that caught her in a tiff with her emotions and how they were criss crossing themselves over the sweet motion.

"Thank you." Connie told him, with a content grin.

Steven ended up smiling in return.

"No worries. Your mom would kill me if you got sick." He commented.

Yeah yeah, that's what they all say. But this was the side of Steven Connie wanted to protect. His kindness, his thoughtfulness...his true core.

"Come on, let's go for a drive. I drove past a cool spot that I think you'll wanna see."

* * *

The two drove through the woods near the township. Tall pine trees with their refreshing scent and it had been some time since they had some kind of adventure. It was riveting to say the least and Connie for what ever reason, her mind was transfixed to her sword. Not that she would need it, but anything this far from society held a type of danger that was more thrilling that majority would take for granted.

But the beautiful, shining sea of stars above them became clearer, the further away they went. Until Steven turned right unto a look out and parked the car by the cliffs edge, revealing the town in the distance. A beautiful view and scenery that was simply divine. Connie could see the theater and the smaller shops. While it was nothing compared to a large city, this had its own unique charm to it. The two ended up laying on the bonnet, absorbing the view and listening to the cicadas from the woods behind them.

The pair had gone quiet, all the while. The topic would be brought up again now doubt; only thing was who was going to bring it up first?

The phone call was kinds of damning; revealing a side to Connie that Steven had never seen before. Sweet, innocent Connie Maheswaran who had unconsciously brought up her real desires for the first time. Kissing, hugging and making out was simple. Flirting was simply a test of wills and a little game they had; purely to tease and rile the other out of fun and second hand (but harmless) embarrassment.

Both were a little older, a little wiser, a little more aware...not exactly sound in body and mind but the ages were there, the point where they were old enough to be able to explore their needs...

And their _wants_...

"Steven..." Connie said to break the silence. If anyone was going to have the courage to speak up about it, it was her.

"Connie I..." Steven said, realizing that he too needed to contribute, almost cutting Connie off. If he wanted to talk about first, then Connie wasn't going to stop him.

"Sorry you first..."

Frustration boiled up briefly but Connie let it slide.

"No...well..."

It was already clear through their stammering that they wanted to talk about it, but there was so much in the vex of trepidation that had them shove off the talk to the other.

" _I'm sorry_." They said in unison, unintentionally.

Both of them turned to their heads outwards, away from the other. Steven squeezed his shirt by his stomach, while Connie bit her lip and tugged onto his jacket more tightly; signs of a struggles for words to create a conversation that held heavy implications and obvious tells. Sitting up first, Steven cleared his throat, wanting to make his words clear.

"I...uhh I'm sorry for over reacting the other day." He stated.

"And I'm sorry too, it kinda slipped out of me..." Connie informed him, sitting up next to him and awkwardly trying to wrap the jacket around her knees.

Though such words did little to mitigate the fact that this was, a step in their lives that had them thinking and feeling much more than the either anticipated. They would have to talk about it...the matter no longer belonged to the word 'if' but the concept of 'when'.

It had Steven deeply red in the face, bashful. In a way, Connie should have expected this. Steven hadn't had the luxury (note sarcasm) of being around this while he grew up. Gems knew the concept of love, but everything else was generally all organic in nature. It was, how the world and how humanity and living creatures had in their biological make up. She ended up letting go of the jacket with one hand and taking Steven's hand in an attempt to comfort him with basic intuition.

"We don't have to do anything at all if you don't want to. If you're not ready, you're not ready..." She explained, her voice soft as she could make it.

Steven shook his head, trying to get himself out of his own funk.

"It's not that." He said.

"I mean, I have had Dad teach me stuff...and I've looked up stuff. If there's anything that I want to do is to make sure you're okay with it all." 

Okay? Connie was more than okay. Nerved herself but if she had allowed nerves to stop her in the past they wouldn't have gotten as far with this as they did. 

"Heh...its funny....you see people having this conversation in shows and its like aww they're so in love but now it's that in real life a-and its not like I'm afraid. I just don't want to get it wrong ya know?"

Connie tilted around, putting her other hand on Steven's cheek to bring him down to Earth with a small kiss. His babbling didn't help his case but with the power of Connie laid the wall to stop the water overflowing out of the dam he made for himself.

"We don't have to go straight into it." Connie told him as she rubbed his cheek, though in that split second, she could see the confused and tormented Leviathan in his dark eyes. Fearful, disconnected but at the same time, his focus on her and her alone with the prominent look of worry. She had to take control and Steven would hone in on her every word. He could handle simple instructions, like the grounding techniques he had learned from his Therapist. She could use the same knowledge to direct him where to go...and if he had that type of confidence, no matter how small, she would be able to build him up to where he wanted to be. No pressure; but a direct firmness encouraged, like a dance teacher or a conductor of a tiny one man orchestra.

"We can start with something simple if you'd like and over time, work our way up. Sound good to you?"

Steven nodded and gave off a minor smile. He was generally all bark and literal no bite when it came to this. Barking being his terrible but effective flirting and the lack of the bite was his lack of assertion. Connie slid off the bonnet first as the two decided to make do in the backseat of the Dondai.

Lucky enough no one was around. If it had been a larger town, then there would have been more cars. Small, quaint and as private as the two wanted. Their hearts raced as they sat on the back seat, with Connie throwing his jacket at the front, removing her sandals and taking off her scrunchie and allowed it to drop on the floor. She could find it later. Right now, she had to give him what he deserved; the chance to explore the parts to himself he never knew he could have and had every right to feel good about it all. To throw away the chains of their current torments and to allow themselves the opportunities to be themselves on a much more intimate level.

" _Wait_..." Steven urged, before swallowing. Connie's eyes were directed by the sweat drop on his forehead.

"Can we...I mean, you said...if I-I remember correctly...you wanted me to _kiss_ your neck right?"

Heat tingled on her face as he said that. 

"Mhmm I certainly did." She said, her eyes half-lidded.

It was hard to believe he did remember it. It must have had that much of an impact that it was either worthy of recollecting or it burned into his brain so badly that even if Steven never told her so, that it could have been on his mind for the last few days. Because some things would weigh on him either in the best or worse of cases, depending on the intensity of what was said and done to him overall.

Her yelling at him had him dripping in guilt, compiling it up as a negative memory that served to cause him pain and threw him into the deep end as the beast. Connie never intended for that to stick by him as hard as a tattoo was on skin, but the butterflies were on her right shoulder now, trialing her own mind on how her words and actions impacted other people, especially Steven.

Connie moved her hair out of the way, as Steven moved his head, slowly, but surely towards the crook of her neck, by her left shoulder. Connie inhaled deeply through her nose, wanting the butterfly to fly away, but it refused to budge as Steven pressed his lips against her. A shiver went down her spine, feeling the wetness of his kiss as they popped against her skin. He'd started at the shoulder, then worked his way up her neck, feeling his own tense, bated breath against the coarse hairs near the back of her neck.

He was cautious...too cautious, but Connie raised her hands against his back and dug her fingers into it. He made a little grunt which vibrated throughout her body. Connie closed her eyes, ignoring every other sense and allowing to feel, to hear him work through his anxiousness and be allowed to enjoy such a treat with nary a squirm through her form, the sensations of his slight nibbles and suckling a meal on its own.

It was nice...more than nice...without prompt, he had his hands lightly gripping her biceps, shifting about as he tried to get himself into a comfortable position. To say that had an electrifying ripple effect on its own was exceptionally telling of Connie what she really wanted out of Steven, perhaps the true reason why, or maybe not but maybe one of the reasons why she liked it so much.

She liked the _power._

Power to do anything in this reality was dependent on status or for a Gem, the might. Steven was a Diamond; the most powerful of Gem kind. His voice was one the strongest seen and with the revelation of his mother being a Diamond only made him that much stronger, being able to level with Blue, Yellow and the most challenging, White.

Connie envied such strength that would rival a leading politicians and he'd accomplished what many people had dreamed of doing as small children.

It was doing the adult version now that was the hardest. With Steven being who was, would handle the fallout and the chaos that would ensure and the veil of pretending things were going to be fine would slowly burn to a crisp.

The reality of being an adult meant that not everything could be tied up with a neat little bow...no...it was the ongoing, forever changing environment that humans dwelled in that would always have a difference of opinion, based on so many factors, the biggest being what ever would self-serve the being responsible for the change or it would be for the betterment of mankind.

However, what Vivi had told her about humanity overall, being stupid, remained in her head for weeks, likely the same way Steven had Connie's words stuck with him. An idea, ingrained and rooted so deeply it couldn't be let go. And Connie was subconsciously agreeing that, yes, humans were stupid. It was a horrible way to think and there were certainly smart humans.

And the world outside the Dondai flashed orange briefly as Connie accidentally let out a small pleasured whine.

Steven froze briefly, never hearing that tone used with him before. He was scared that he'd done something wrong...but Connie knew otherwise.

"You're doing good Steven...." She muttered, voice breathy.

"Now please...lay me down."

He swallowed and nudged his head upon acknowledgement, pushing her down gently against the bottom of the seat as the Dondai creaked with the adjustment of positioning. It was a tight fit and a bit claustrophobic but they managed. Connie ended up pushing her right leg which bent upwards, sliding against the back set as her left leg was left dangling oddly off the chair. Exceptionally awkward positioning only left aside as Connie felt the weight of his body on hers, which sent signals everywhere of how...incredible it felt...

Steven returned to nibble her neck shortly after, his own hands somehow finding their way around her back, rummaging and touching fabric and skin, nudging her hair. Again, this was a power on its own and Connie almost mistook the hardness of his gem against her stomach for something else. She felt his entire body vibrate underneath his tiny growls, his body trying to find the correct way to be in such a small amount of space. It sent pangs of electricity to her core, which relayed to the lower parts. She was liking this too much...the texture of his lips, his tongue...even if he wasn't doing it a hundred percent correctly, Connie didn't care. Reprimanding him on technique that she herself had no idea about did not help their cause. It felt good...that was enough.

Enough to get more ideas in her head, as Connie's hands found their way to ends of his shirt with the intent to rip it off of him. She wanted to touch him...because if the way she had cradled his face, both of the smooth-skin and of the scaly variety had him contented, then surely the rest of his body would fall in line; wanting nothing more than those magical fingertips to tend to his skin. But....

_**BOOOOOOOOOOMMM** _

The sound of an huge explosion sent both of them sitting up in a snap as they adjusted themselves to figure out what in the world just happened. The pair looked out the back window, to see a column of smoke coming from the nearby woods. The two looked at each other with the same amount of confusion, despite how disheveled they were. Out of concern and the subculture of the cats on their shoulders, the two of them scurried about, as Connie scrambled to find her scrunchie and sandals, rushing herself to put them on, while Steven grabbed his blue torch out of the glove compartment, before the two of them ran off into the pine woods to investigate.

Connie held his hand as he took the lead, using his torch all the while as they tried to find the source. The woods were thick, but the glows from the fire could be seen in between the trees, with the two puffing and panting in anxious sprints. The act redirected all existing energies and hormones, but the blur of the moment and their racing hearts still remained. 

It suddenly got warm as they got closer...and upon almost falling into a giant crater, the two held onto each other as they gazed upon a glowing green sight.

A sphere, a drop pod of sorts Steven identified as Gem technology, similar to the escape pod Peridot was in all those years ago. Small fires were sprinkled around it, but Steven wasted no time in sliding down into the crater. Connie stood at the edge of the ring, her hands together as she watched Steven attempt to open the pod itself.

Steven ended up picking up the pod with his immense strength and kneed it to crack it open, although he did hiss in how much that actually hurt him. However as he opened the pod, a body laid lax on the ground in a fetal position. A small, lithe white and pink body...and upon closer inspection, she had pink hair tied up into side buns, but had a curled fringe that covered her left eye. She wore something akin to a cerise business jacket with small, pointed shoulder pads and a french rose shirt underneath that had a cut around the stomach, to where Connie could see a slightly pink tinted gem. She wore a tight mini skirt underneath with matching cerise ballet flats.

Going wide eyed, Steven immediately recognized this figure as he tried to sit her up.

"Volleyball?" He exclaimed with disbelief.

He tried to shake her gently to get to wake up. Eventually she stirred, put a hand to her forehead as she whined in pain. Her eyelinds batted a few times, which allowed her vision to return to see the sight in front of her. She jolted, slamming her hands on Steven's shoulders and suddenly became frantic.

"STEVEN!" She screamed out of panic.

He tried to calm her down, throwing his arms around his former secretary and let her get the shock out first so she could talk coherently.

"Hey, hey it's alright, you're safe now." He assured her, rubbing her back to give her what assurance he could.

"It's...it's the Diamonds...." She said, still trying to get her breath back. She let go of him, pushing herself back as she looked at her surroundings, quite distressed.

"What's wrong now?" He asked. While Steven did not want to deal with any more Gem stuff if he could help it, Volley was one of his closest friends and he refused to let her manage any of their issues. There shouldn't have been so...what was the problem?

"The....the Rebellion..." She stuttered, her hands in front of her, shaking with fear.

Steven blinked. The Rebellion? They were back?

"I can't....where's Jasper? She was supposed to be here but...we..we..."

Steven stood straight up and looked at Connie who held the same worried but determined expression. Turning back to Volleyball, there was only one thing they could do. He took her hand to ground her.

"Hey, let's get you somewhere safe and you can tell me everything, I'll take care of it, I promise."

And just like that, Connie received a message from Four Square.

_Take care of her._

She looked around, more anxious for the fact that Four Square knew about this. Unable to fathom such a response, Connie froze, until she heard Steven calling her name. 

"Connie! Help us out!" He requested.

Putting her phone back into her dress pocket, she aided in getting Volleyball out of the crater, followed by Steven. Next thing they knew, they were heading back to the car, preparing to drive off to the nearest motel.

Connie could already tell that this was going to be a long weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1: Needed; Chapter 17; The Waters
> 
> Yeah, Connie was unaware she was on the borderline having a taste of, ya know...phone sex.  
> And flicking is exactly what you think it means.


	5. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie help out Volleyball and find out what's been happening on Homeworld recently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter proves a tag. You'll know the one.  
> Also future concepts are coming into mind and I think they'll be brilliant in future chapters.

Volleyball was the last person they'd expected to see. 

Migrating to a nearby motel for the night, this was was a little smaller than the last, but otherwise had big double bed with white sheets for Connie and him to sleep on (They had gotten the idea to just rest together as a pleasant experience that they agreed on trying again) and was rather isolated and cabin like, with its wooden walls and floorboards, its round kitchen table and white diner chairs. Steven prepared everything...as he took Connie and Volleyball to the room and went out briefly to get some supplies, while Connie got Volleyball comfortable, having her sit down after all the shock she'd just gone through.

She looked nervous, distressed and a little warn. Connie offered to clean her up, but Volleyball insisted that wasn't necessary. Connie had sat with her, observing her formal posture; legs neat together and her hands on her lap. Her face was dirty and her hair was tussled from the sudden impact. She was one to be prim and proper and that's how Pearls where, default professionalism and courtesy was in their programming.

Steven did mention Volleyball was now serving Jasper from what they could last recall, only having seen her on the night before Steven left Beach City and well, that was well over a year and a bit a go and he'd been on the road a lot since then. So a lot could have still changed since then. He'd come back no long after, coming in the door with groceries as he went to prepare to tea to help calm Volley down.

From what time he had spent with her and from what she had done with Pearl was that they had introduced her to tea; to which Volley absolutely loved, liking the way Steven made her chamomile tea, which he had made for himself. It was interesting to hear that within Steven's state during those times as a Diamond official on Homeworld, that the stories of his own 'rule' were more pleasant, that he had indeed marked off the list he created to get to know Volley better and that one of the most important aspects was getting to know what she liked overall.

While Connie didn't judge Gems by their type, but given from what's she seen and heard and been told about, Pearls tend to sway their own preferences dependent on their liege. Pearl herself catered for Roses' needs and wants and Pearls Blue and Yellow held signature traits relevant to their respective Diamonds. So, Volley, could have only been doing this in because it was her...well, master that had introduced such concepts, correlating them to Steven himself.

The look of happiness reserved for Steven alone was a good indicator of how much she needed Steven right now. Connie knew that feeling; seeing it written on the soft face of the pink Pearl. The only part Connie disliked, was that Steven had gone into his old mindset of putting others needs, before his own. It wasn't to say what he was doing was bad, no where near that. He was totally prepared (because Connie knew Steven enough to understand his habits) to help Volley any way he could. If the situation was indeed critical, then he would not hesitate to get on board to aid where required.

She just hoped he didn't go overboard. Like as he poured Connie tea was well...not that she asked for it, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless. Given how hectic the last few hours had been, Connie needed that herself.

"Thank you Steven." Volley said.

She was so reserved and withdrawn more so, but she had eventually mellowed down. Still worried, but less pedantic about it all. Steven had then finally sat down, prepared to let Volley explain herself, giving her the space to do so.

"Talk to me Volley, you were saying something about the Diamonds and Jasper...." He said, trying to jolt her memory.

Volley sipped her tea before placing it back down.

"Oh yes...well, it started with an explosion..."

She'd gone into detail about she had been walking the hallways on Homeworld, off to her next task Jasper had set for her. She'd gone to the Throne Room when suddenly a loud boom occurred, followed by fire and debris which had Volley run towards the door, but ended up being knocked over in the process. She wasn't poofed, but when she came too, all the chairs were destroyed with bits of white, yellow, blue and pink triangular shards scattered about on broken parts of the brown columns. As the dust settled, Volley had yet to come off the ground, her eyes focused on something absolutely massive, a shadow of sorts with powerful eyes...six of them. Six burning green eyes in total. 

Volley was too petrified to move, until she was brought up by Spinel who had come out of nowhere. Volley, still in a daze could only make out that Spinel was telling her to find Jasper and to get Steven. When asked what was going on, Spinel said there wasn't any time to explain.

Once they found Jasper back at her Quarters, the two made preparations to head to Earth to find Steven himself. Spinel claimed she would join them later, stating that she had other important matters to take care of. Jasper was, for the lack of a better word, stunned to see Spinel act like this. Jasper wanted to remain on Homeworld to suss out what was going on but another explosion ceased that rather quickly.

There was a lot of chatter and a lot of running about. Gems absolutely confused, dismayed and and distraught as to what was happening. An attack? Jasper assumed so, given that both the Throne Room and the Security Quarters were demolished so no doubt remained in that was deliberate. Jasper relayed orders to her other subordinates, then took Volley to one of the hand ships. She wanted to remain, although for reasons Volley never understood was that Jasper somehow ended up taking Volley with her, her sole intentions to speak to Steven specifically to let him know what had happened and they required his aid.

On the way to Earth, however, the hand ship was attacked by mysterious orange ships, namely ones they'd never seen before. Although Volley did get a quick glimpse of the logo on the ships themselves; the Diamond Authority Logo with the big red x painted on it.

The Rebellion had somehow been raised up again.

Jasper's intention was to get Volley to Earth safely, while Jasper would return to Homeworld to rally what forces she could, but they were outnumbered and no matter how much they'd dodged and how good a pilot Jasper was in her attempts to maneuver and roll out of close calls, a blast ended up decimating it entirely, forcing Jasper to shove Volley into an escape pod which then fling her to Earth.

To say Steven and Connie were astonished would be the understatement of the century. Connie locked eyes with him, honing in on parts she could foresee him enacting. No...he couldn't do this, surely. 

"Steven do you mind if I talk to you in private?" She asked him, wanting to reign him before he decided to make any stupid decisions.

* * *

Steven excused Volley, while Connie and him went into the bathroom and the latter promptly locked the door. Connie knew exactly what he was going to do, but she had urge caution with this. While it had to have been done, she wanted to give him options too. It became so...complicated. And Steven didn't _need_ this anymore. He didn't _need_ the heartache and the pain that went with the kind of chaos he'd become accustomed to in the past and the resolute peace for himself was what was important.

But Connie understood that Gems were his family, and that while she didn't want him to deal with it all once again, like history repeating itself, she understood how much his family meant to him, even if they had mistreated him in the past.

"Look Steven, I know how bad this looks..." She told him.

And one look at his withered face and big bags under his eyes instantly told Connie on how exasperated he truly felt. The ants were crawling up his skin, the leviathan was deep in his big doe eyes and butterflies were flying around his head again. He didn't _need_ this either...didn't need the concept of everything becoming undone in the matter of months, years of matters and parts he'd fought so hard for in the past. It was _not_ his obligation to fix things anymore. Only himself...and he deserved to be selfish.

Connie now had the butterflies around her and the nightingale on her right shoulder. This wasn't fair and it wasn't fair on Steven.

She had to be honest with him...about how she felt...and about how he felt. And that what ever he had decided to do next, was, at the end of the day, entirely his decision and Connie could not control him otherwise.

Even if she wanted to; to where her butterflies flapped at their hardest.

"I know, I know, _I know_...." He said, slapping his hand on his forehead.

"I...I'm not prepared for this. It feels too _soon_."

And too soon it was.

"You don't have to. We can message the Gems to see if they can investigate it." Connie suggested.

Steven shook his head, getting more frustrated by the moment, that Connie could sense the steams of anger rising from his form...and he'd instantly gone into his pink state without warning, which had Connie step back in unintended shock.

"No.... _ugh._..." He whined, digging his fingers into his scalp as he growled in fiery resentment.

"Volley doesn't _deserve_ this...she doesn't _deserve_ any of it!" 

His sudden flip into an aggressive stance had Connie worried, but determined to endure anything he put up. He wouldn't hurt her but he let her see this side of himself more clearly; something he could have never done before he'd started talking to his therapist who had suggested that while it could be frightful, that Steven was allowed to be angry and that in order to control himself, he must be able to temper his state with caution and that he needed to allow others to see that.

But Connie could say she wasn't afraid of it...even as her heart raced and such a sight and hearing him scream had her sweat and slightly shake with nerve. No...she couldn't show or tell him that. It would make him feel worse.

"I don't wanna go back to Homeworld but...they have to make this so...stupidly difficult....BUT I _HAVE_ ....TO _FIX_ IT..."

When he shouldn't have to. Presented with an ambiguous selection of too many choices, too many branches off the giant tree to snap off. He began to pace and stomp around the bathroom, where Connie stood back, feeling the slight tremors from even the lightest of stomps as he walked back and forth, his hand still on his head as he started grinding his teeth.

"Maybe we should prioritize in helping Volley find Jasper first." Connie suggested, her voice calm. She'd hoped to get him to get through the mess of the bear of wrath scratching its claws in his brain to tell him to retaliate with destruction.

"It might be good to ask others to do this for you. _Please_ Steven..."

He stopped in his tracks, slamming his hands on the faucet and looked square in the mirror, witnessing his Pink State and his own anger, portraying himself in his Diamond Suit once more in the lies of the mirror itself. So many memories of Homeworld swam in his head...the same way he'd seen his Diamond eyes, his form...and now, as he looked in deeper, he bore witness to the futility of his actions; the leviathan sat behind him, as if...it judged him. It shouldn't be doing that. It should only be there to serve as a reminder to his true pain.

As well as his Acceptance...he had accepted the leviathan as a part of him and it would forever linger on. His Therapist told him to use it for good, a point in his life that in order to look forward that he would have to look back.

Or else he'd forget how to change.

Connie stepped forward, standing behind him, that which had him snap back to reality as her hand touched his shoulder. He could see her looking at him via the proxy of the mirror itself, her focus, the same story of determination written on her face as she was firm with her grip. Volley used to do the same thing.

"Message Pearl, let her know what's happened." He said, his voice more steady.

"Get the Crystal Gems to find her. If she did make it to Earth, which, if I know Jasper, she would have found a way, then they'll find her eventually."

Connie nodded, then smiled. Steven pushed against the faucet to stand up straight, to where he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose, then exhaled heavily through his mouth. She was so proud of him right now, her unspoken fears proven wrong once again. The room was still a pure white and blue; no shades of orange.

"What do we do with Volley though? You're on your own here and I need to be back at the College by Monday."

They could be practical about this. The old Steven would be thrilled to have Volleyball on his adventures, but present Steven needed his alone time and it was his self-discovering journey that required as little outsider interference; with Connie only being the only real exception for obvious reasons. Currently however, if Connie could borrow Vivi's language for that moment, she would definitely say how obviously _fucked_ up everything was. The Rebellion being up and about again and rampaging against Homeworld...the thought was maddening.

"You can't take Volley back with you?" He wondered, turning around to face Connie, whom was dumbfounded by the idea.

"I don't think they allow more than two people per room." She said.

"Why don't you get Lion to take her back to the Temple? It's probably easier for her to lay low there and help the Gems find Jasper."

Another idea...but for what ever reason, Steven wanted her within close range. Connie could see the concern on his expression as he contemplated.

"We- we'll see what she wants to do first." He said, scrunching his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry Connie I'm not..."

She pulled his hand to turn him around and face her, before giving him a necessary hug and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Don't be sorry." Connie assured him.

"It's not like I wanted this to happen either and you're doing so well so far."

Now she sounded like his Therapist. Steven didn't like that she had to someone who depended on too much, but he appreciated it all irregardless. She'd seen the worst side of him and hardly ever backed down. The lack of fear on his part on showing her his anger and the way she was able to allow him to work with it all was something he'd mentioned to Sandra and had actually told Connie to demonstrate if she could do so. It would be forever a work in progress but he was able to calm down more often than not because of that.

Volley was the same...having gone through a similar predicament. She was one of the first to show such tenderness to his corrupted form besides Connie and that in itself was literally double the comfort in the realization that the hurt was valid and true; the cornerstones to his recovery.

He eventually returned the hug, embracing Connie harder than ever. If Steven wanted to cry now he could and Connie would give him the space to do so, willing to go outside to talk to Volley to keep her company. Steven's fingers dug more into her back, not wanting to let her go as she felt a warm drop on her shoulder, hearing his sniffs in her ear.

More painful recollections poured into his head, those of Diamond Steven and those of the Leviathan. A monster on the inside...and a monster on the outside.

She felt him quake under her....unable to stop the brunt of the horror cycling around like a tornado that destroyed all the good in its path. It made Connie felt awful, but she wanted to be there for him. Do it for him like she had done dozens of times in the past and he had improved a huge deal.

"I don't like crying every time I see you." Steven croaked.

"I _want_ to smile..."

Connie herself grinned at those words. Encouraging....and she didn't like seeing him cry either, it had Connie falling into this instinct every single time where she just wanted to get rid of everything that made him feel bad. Only, most of the enemies he had now were in his head. If it wasn't the Bears, it was the ants, the nightingales and the butterflies vying for control.

"Then smile for me." She whispered.

He pushed her back, his hands on her shoulders. Steven's soppy eyes dipped down briefly, before he looked at her again, eventually using what positive energy he had left to give her what she wanted. It was something, even if it was a little forced.

"I know I gotta take this one step at a time..." He said, his smile soon fading. His hands slid off, going by his sides as he began to withdraw himself again.

"You do make me happy Connie, believe me. It's just that it can be too easy to feel sad too."

 _Too easy to feel sad_. A sentiment reserved for people in his state of mind. 

~~"It's been so _long_ since I can remember how it was to be happy...ïf I _should_ be happy..." ~~ **(^1)**

"You make me happy too Steven." Connie said as she took his hands into hers.

"I wish I could share it with you."

His smile returned, only this time it didn't seem forced. His hand went to her cheek now, thumbing it like she did to his, feeling his more than welcomed warmth on her skin. It would be another story to tell Sandra in his next session.

"You already have." He said, before they leaned in to kiss each other, solidifying their signature trust in one another once again.

* * *

Once Steven felt ready, the two of them eventually exited the bathroom, however, Volley was no where to be seen. He instantly panicked, as Connie and himself ran out the door, looking left and right, only to find Volley sitting with Lion besides the door. Stevens sighed with relief that she hadn't gone far. The potential factor of her hearing what he was doing in the bathroom might have scared her which had Steven reeling with the guilt already. But the smile on her face indicated she wasn't that troubled, patting Lion as they both looked up at the clear night sky.

"Hey Volley, sorry about that." He said as he rubbed his neck.

"Oh it's not an issue, it is a nice calm night out here." Volley told him, her voice filled with life.

Another legitimate smile was raised on his face. Volley was on the submissive side, but spending time with Jasper would have toughened her, surely. Unless she was like Peridot, who mentioned that Jasper made her tired. The type of Gem dependent really.

"Yeah it is." Steven said.

"So...given everything that's going on right now, what did you want to do? Connie's going to message the Crystal Gems and they'll send out a Search Party...."

Steven had to structure the following sentence very carefully. While he didn't want to get involved, at some point, it would be inevitable for him to do so...if what Volley's story told him was true, then the Diamonds were indeed in dire straits and he felt, that in the depths of his heart and his mind, that he might actually be the only one to solve the issue. A monster or a fusion of sorts, rampaging Homeworld.

Without Jasper, he even doubted the forces would be able to clamp down on it for that long. It bothered Steven to no end that he had the power to help, he just didn't have the correct mentality to act on it right now. Necessary selfishness at its worst inconvenience.

"I want to help Volley, I do...and its going to sound awful but..."

"It's okay Steven..." She said, her head still looking up.

"Jasper made a lot of changes to the security structure on Homeworld. Capable Gems and communication lines were repurposed to if there was an emergency, there would be a chain of command if one of the higher ups weren't around. The next in line would have been an Agate I believe, but she trained directly under Jasper and was one of her proudest students."

Colour him impressed with Jaspers initiative to think ahead. Which gave him more hope, but still left room for the nagging scratch of doubt. If Volley had faith and well, if Jasper had faith in her subordinate Gems, then who was Steven to argue with that? He wished he had her confidence. But she still didn't answer his question.

"But what did you want to do though? I mean, I'd like you to hang around...."

Volley beamed at that statement, clasping her hands in joy before Steven could finish his sentence.

"That would be wonderful! Like old times!" She exclaimed.

Steven looked exasperated. She didn't see the point of his journey being one of self-discovery....as in one...

"Uhh what I meant to say was....it would be best if you would head back to Beach City, Lion could help get you there....Connie and I aren't..."

It hurt him so much to even speak it...the fact he just couldn't go back, not now anyway...and it brought him so much torment too.

"I understand....you have important work to do." She said out of the blue. Which stunned Steven into complete silence. The sad look on her face tore into him deeper than he anticipated however.

"We came to Earth looking for you...but if you can't help us..."

_Time is your greatest ally..._

"Wait..." He said, stopping Volley this time.

"Let...let me think about it. I need a week....if they can hold out that long...man that's so selfish of me...."

It was then Volley took his hand, an unusual gesture.

"It's not Steven." She told him, putting her other hand on top of his. This odd feeling ran through him as she did so....mostly confusion but...

"The Diamonds did declare you were off-limits."

They...they did that?

"After what happened, we held a meeting to discuss your availability. I revealed to them that you were on a break and that the Diamonds then immediately put in a decree that no more requests for Steven Diamond were to be made and that everything you had been managing was soon relegated to a Holly Blue Agate that Blue suggested would be perfect for your former role."

A bemused Steven wanted to query if it was the same Holly Blue from the Zoo. While there had to be more out there, there was something that made him think along those lines, but couldn't determine why. But if what Volley was saying held implications....

"Then the situation must be that bad that you had to break that decree..." Steven said, his eyes on the stars as well. He began to feel more awful and the butterflies made a mess of matters on his left shoulder. What disturbed Steven more so was that while Homeworld was in danger, where were the Diamonds?

"We don't know for sure what was going on." Volley continued.

"What _is_ going on still. Communications with all three Diamonds are still cut."

The story of an attack on the Diamonds...made Steven wonder if the Rebellion found a way to poof the Diamonds...again. Good grief.

"What about Spinel? You said she was still on Homeworld..."

Volley nodded, continuing to pat Lion.

"She is but....I have no way of getting in contact with anyone right now." She said with sadness.

Hence why is was crucial to get her to Beach City to use the Galaxy Warp. It was the only way. But it might mean that Steven would have to return too. He was still not prepared for this and it had him wracking his brain for alternate solutions. The next normal warp pad was most likely several states away too so there wasn't really much else other than having Lion take her there. Thank goodness for Connie keeping in contact with the Gems when Steven, as awful as he felt for doing so, tried to limit as much as he could when it came to speaking with them. His therapist mentioned that when they do meet again, it would have be when Steven a hundred percent comfortable with it. Not 99, but a hundred.

Right now it was about fifty.

Steven then heaved a huge sigh..... he had to, he needed to...he had to want to do this. To do this for their sake....and while his human side required the TLC, it would be completely ignorant of him to ignore his Gem side, when it had done some good for him in the past. Using it to connect to others, to connect to good people...humans and Gems that needed his help. Wanted his assistance etc. The wholesomeness that came with finally completing a job and the endless amounts of thank yous that followed.

Steven _was_ doing good work, but not for _himself_.

Amethyst was right. He did have a better work-life balance when the Diamonds were destroying the planet. Connie eventually emerged from the room to inform Steven of important news.

"I just spoke with Pearl." She announced.

Good.

"What did she tell you?" Steven wondered.

Other than being worried about Steven and wanting to send their love and support from across the continent?

"They're going to find her. And that they were willing to go to Homeworld in your place if you ask them to."

Great...he didn't need anyone else involved at this point. He could trust the Gems to take care of matters. He had to.

Steven had to think carefully once more. Volley was important to him and every little part contributed was crucial. Could he sacrifice a small slice of his time to her? To this mess? He had to deliberate and giving himself a week was a bit of stretch, since for all he knew, Homeworld would be in ashes by the time he could convince himself to visit. Though he was going to speak to his Therapist that Tuesday, which would give him the perfect opportunity to get her opinion on it all and he wanted such an important conversation relevant to his own situation to be molded around those facts. Steven had to accept he would go back. Like with anything else he'd come across recently, it was a matter of when, not if.

"They'll also message me if they come up with anything on the Diamond Communicator...or not..."

"Thanks Connie." Steven said, then returned his focus back to Volley. She had to decide now...and the look on her face, her dancing eyes and fidgeting fingers were signs of her thinking over his proposal.

His own thoughts trailed over their experiences shared. Volley had only seen a small fraction of the Earth and while they did visit many planets prior, she never got the chance to be able to mingle with humans. It was a dumb premise that slung itself into his head because for unexplained reasons it decided it wanted to. But the sight of her, both stuck in her Pearl default mode and her slight shivering should have been a red flag unto itself.

She was here for a purpose and the word itself drove up old, unwanted memories...

**~~To need purpose....no to _want_ purpose. Purpose to protect the need to guard his true feelings; Purpose; is but a distraction to trauma.~~ (^2)**

Steven's been there, done that and now he was still paying for it. Would be healthy to still help like he used to? He didn't want it as a burden to him and it only served as an excuse in the end. Small, tiny Volleyball. The urge to protect her now was quite strong, and the fact that he kind of missed her too came into play. She was one of the sweetest Gems he's had the pleasure to work with (probably owing more to the fact she was one of the few who didn't try to kill him and the times she did weren't her anyway.)

Looking at the Gem in her stomach, however, brought to mind an important aspect he'd almost forgotten. Looking at Connie who was taking her overnight bag from Lion in the mean time, he wondered if while she was here, she could do something else.

"Hey, why don't we introduce Volleyball to Vivi?" Steven suggested.

Connie turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

Steven smiled.

"Vivi....she could learn a lot from Volley." He said.

Why didn't he think about this sooner?

"I mean, if it's not an issue. While she can't stay with you at the college, she could still visit.:"

Connie wasn't even thinking about Vivi during a time like this. But the thought was there.

"I uhh...I don't know if Vivi would be exactly looking for something like right now, but I'll message her later and see if she's willing." She said.

An idea like that however didn't sound so bad. Volley was a Homeworld Gem and besides Steven, she could teach her a lot about her own kind, maybe be able to identify what kind of Gem she is as well.

"I'm sorry...Vivi?" Volley said, confused.

Steven grinned, proud of himself for thinking up with such a fantastic effort to help not just Volley but to help Vivi too. She had the cat on Steven's shoulder, more so that it was better to think about Vivi's situation, than his own right now.

"She's my room mate at College." Connie explained as she slung her backpack over her shoulder, preparing to go back inside to change.

"She's also a Gem, but had not been aware she actually was a Gem until just recently."

Thumbing her lip, Volley was indeed confused by the prospect, but with a keen smile, she was happy to do so.

"Oh okay.....strange...how does one not know they're a Gem? I would very much like to meet this Vivi...I've never been made aware of any Gem variety called Vivi either. Unless it was one made within the eight thousand years under White..."

She was raised human...human name, human character...Gem everything else. Volley wouldn't know better. Steven for the first time in a while felt excited in figuring out a solution to a problem that wasn't his own for ages. Literally, just like old times.

"Okay, we can talk to her tomorrow." Steven declared.

"Right now, I'm exhausted...you gonna be okay on your own for a few hours? Maybe take a ride on..."

The big lump was already asleep on the ground, snoring away. Well, there goes that idea.

"Can I not go to sleep?" Volley wondered.

Sleep? Volleyball? Since when?

"I remember you sleeping...and you telling me not to watch you sleep." Volley said with such fondness that kind of had Steven weirded out slightly, shirking momentarily.

"I had given it ago myself....and I asked Pearl how to do it...she said to talk to Amethyst who taught me...I found it to be very pleasant."

Steven swallowed. The double bed was only meant for him and Connie. He was about to go to the office to buy another room until Volley grabbed his hands as he was about to move.

"Oh I can sleep on the floor. I don't mind." She said.

He couldn't say no to that face. Sleeping on the floor wouldn't be comfiest...not to mention the least sanitary given it was a public room, used time and time again, with cleaning happening few, far in between.

Steven rolled his shoulders and exhaled. He appreciated Volley's enthusiasm and it was a much needed boost to see her again. Only if it was under better circumstances.

Going inside, the three made preparations to go to bed. Connie had since slipped into her white with navy long sleeve pajamas with pants with doves on them, as Steven went into his long blue with white striped pajama pants and yellow shirt. Volley stood there, watching their strange rituals of brushing their teeth and using eye drops on their eyes, well and truly in sync. Connie came out first, as she brushed her hair, narrowing her expression on the pink Gem as she did so, like she was observing.

"You don't have to wait for us." She said.

Connie wasn't gonna lie...it was weird to have Volley in here with them, just staring and watching on, waiting until the pair would go to sleep. But if Steven didn't mind then Connie shouldn't either. 

Volley shook her head.

"No, I'm just thinking...." She said.

"Do you mind, if you could brush my hair too?"

Now that was completely random. Volley was still dirty and her clothes were damaged from earlier. Connie wasn't entirely sure how gem clothes worked or even their hair. But if it was real to touch then Connie could offer her some human comforts, despite how confusing the request was.

"Uhh sure....you can use the shower too if you want. And get changed...uhhh if you want..."

Volley put her hands together in joy as her grin went wider.

"Oh yes a shower! To get rid of all the impurities!" She said with enthusiasm.

Connie could hear Steven echoed giggles in the background, before he walked out of the bathroom.

"Volley loves showers! She finds the process of the water washing her from above an interesting concept, if I recall correctly." He said, leaning against the door frame.

Well, they did have baths apparently....

Despite how bizarre events turned out to be, it wasn't the worst thing to happen overall. They found Volley's fascinations with Earth technology to be quite cute indeed, like she was a little girl. Connie made sure she had her towel and allowed her the privacy to wash herself, while Steven had gone out to Lion to get some spare clothes from his mane. The one Gem power he was grateful for was that excellent storage feline.

Once Volley was done, Steven handed her a large pink shirt and red shorts....a bit baggy but they only served to be her night wear until she could properly reform her 'appearance modifiers.' Coming out of the bathroom it was easy to see that they were indeed too big, but Volley somehow managed, lucky that the shorts had some kind of elastic to them to prevent them from falling down too far. The collar rested on her left side, hanging off of her shoulder. Both Connie and Steven went starry eyed on how cute she looked in them, overtaken by the adorableness of it all. Volley was bashful, her cheeks flushing pink all the while.

Steven then laid on his stomach, kicking his feet in the air while playing on his phone, directed towards Connie who had Volley seated yet again and was now able to brush her long pink hair. It was a definite contrast since the CG Pearl's hair was so short, while Volley's, which were normally up in the side curled buns, ended up ending past her shoulders. Connie envied on how well Gems hair looked like the real thing. The night turned into a conversation so casual, as Volley talked about how Blue loved getting her hair combed, with Steven telling her that he remembers that she had a singing comb...and wondered what ever happened to it.

He ended up observing how Connie carefully brushed out all the knots out of Volley's messy wet hair that smelled like the strawberry shampoo that Connie had brought with her, straightening it out. He never imagined her looking so different, besides the scarring on her left eye, with both eyes closed. The look on her contentment on her face meant she was enjoying the way that Connie was slowly going through it, like it was a ritual she had been wanting to go through for millennia. It warmed his heart to the point that he put his phone down and ended up digging his elbows into the mattress and holding his head in his hands and just...gazed upon the simple but blessed sight of his girlfriend combing their friends hair. It was so natural...so normal and simple...and it was the simple stuff Steven had been wanting for as long as he could remember. The sights he'd seen on his adventure were just that. Roads, mountains, tall trees, fields of crops from hundreds of farms, the scent of nature and the smell of small country towns that anyone else would take for granted.

Not Steven however...

Volley continued to insist on sleeping on the floor and Connie offered to get her a blanket, which Volley said wasn't necessary. Both Connie and Steven were in the same boat of concern, but Volley, her hair up in a low ponytail at the back, happily laid herself on the carpet in front of the bed, laying straight out as a plank with her hands on her chest and a smile on her dial.

Meanwhile Steven and Connie tucked themselves into the sheets. They were aware of how this felt between the two of them, the first time they had slept together (in the literal sense) back at the last motel was easier to manage than they had thought to believe. Unintended but not unwelcomed. Nothing would come out of this but it allowed them to take the next step in recognizing their level of comfort in their relationship and would only serve to strength their bond.

The two kissed each other good night, with the slight giggle between the two before they snuggled each to sleep.

"Good night Volley." Said Steven.

"Sleep well." Said Connie.

"I will thank you." Volley responded, her voice faint from below.

* * *

Dreams came in as they did...however, quite average compared to most of the stranger stuff she had had on some nights. Maybe because she was in better company? Maybe she was set at ease and though a world was in grave danger, she trying her hardest to keep it all together. Here, it seemed effortless to do so, the soothing presence of Steven here, resting with her like there was nothing wrong at all would normally put her mind to rest too.

Although her eyes did strike open shortly after. Steven had since laid back on the bed and started to snore, but that wasn't it. She checked her phone. It was only three am. No messages from Four Square and only some random meme sent by Vivi. She'd told her earlier where she was and their plans to bring Volley over to see Vivi had the latter actually okay and happy with meeting Volleyball, despite how silly she found the name to be for a Gem. Connie didn't bother giving her all the details just yet, only that she would respect Volley. Vivi told her she was joking and Connie knew...before telling Vivi that she's been giving her dumber nicknames. To which Vivi only replied; touche.

Her sight then went to small glow at the end of the bed. The cat returned as Connie left the safety of the blanket, crawling over to the bed to see Volley twitching, the bottom of her shirt having slid up just above her gem, which had been glowing brightly like a night light.. Connie tilted her head, confused at the sight as to why her Gem was glowing. She heard a bassless cry above her. Looking up, it was apparent her Gem was projecting something onto the roof.

Was it her dream?

Connie continued to watch, seeing a monstrous figure of bright green eyes...six in total under black shadow chase Volley down the halls of the Diamond Palace. She puffed panted and looked generally exhausted, until she tripped over. Volley tried to get back up but it was too late as the monsters shadowy head was right above her and slammed down hard to eat Volley herself.

It was then Volley shot up and gasped, holding her stomach as she tried to get her breath back. Connie was immediately concerned.

"Volley are you okay?" She asked in a whisper.

Volley was stunned to see Connie there with her fingers clasping onto the edges of the bed itself, her worried eyes holding tender care within them.

"I...I don't know..." She muttered, her eyes running around. She put the edge of her palm against her forehead as she sniffed with tears beginning to form underneath them.

"It was horrible..."

Connie pursed her lips. She shuffled back and whacked Steven a few times to wake him up, not noticing how Volley then had fingers floating around her neck.

"Wassit?" Steven slurred, with drool coming out the left side of his mouth.

It took him a good moment before he could understand what was going on. Connie pointed towards the distressed Volley, lost in the wake of her own nightmare. Steven's demeanor changed instantly, getting off the bed and helping Volley off the ground. He had her sitting on the edge of the bed between himself on the left and Connie on the right, putting his hand on her back and rubbing it to help her feel better.

"Bad dream?" He asked.

Volley nodded as she sniffed. He'd never seen her so openly distressed since...

"Was that the monster you saw in the Throne Room?" Connie questioned.

Steven furrowed his brows, perplexed, but went with it irregardless.

"Y-yeah." She stammered, rubbing the tears with the back of her hand.

"I failed the Diamomds, I'm so sorry!"

Steven could connect to this so much...the full weight of failure would always be on heavy on his shoulders and from what Volley had been through so far must have been out terrifying and truly unforgettable. She ended up just collapsing entirely into Steven's arms, to his surprise. He swallowed, his eyes on the equally perturbed Connie. Was he fully prepared to step into that old habit once again?

Of course he was. He was Steven Universe. He had experience in this and people had once depended on him...but lately he had been so disconnected from it all that the feeling of helping others was generally forgotten and now that he was doing it again, there was more warmth to it. His empathy and his connections to Volley's sadness were all too relatable. Connie was here too so both of them could help her out. He saw Connie tilted her head to her right, as if trying to signal Steven a specific message.

Confusion rode him first before realization did as Connie raised her hand towards the head end of the bed. He raised an eyebrow, if what her calling to do was what he was actually thinking of, it wouldn't be a bad idea, it wouldn't be a good one either...it was...honestly, peculiar and reserved for certain types of people...namely _children._

Connie herself said she used to do this with her mother when she was younger and it helped her out until the nightmares ceased, so it was a potential solution to the problem. For one night, they could afford this level of care for someone whom had never been treated like this for most of her life. So they would give this to Volley and Volley alone. Steven carefully pushed Volley off of him as he smiled at her with a genuine expression of love and warmth uncoiled from his true spirit. Next thing they knew was that Volley had nestled herself up at the top of the bed as they helped her go under the blanket, before they themselves laid on each side of her. Volley blushed, but Steven and Connie only smiled...They would not deny how awkward this actually was and how generally weird others would see it. 

Thought it would remain their little, harmless secret otherwise. They would only get to do this once anyway. With that, Volley got herself comfortable with her head in between pillows, her back laid back as Steven and Connie hugged her from their sides with a proper, parental type embrace.

"Better?" Steven asked.

Volley pursed her lips, then nodded slightly.

"Yes-yes...yes I uhh.....this is much, much better thank you!"

The three of them fell asleep shortly after, with Steven debating on if he should tell his therapist about this.

Or get Volley to see his therapist too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Needed. Chapter 32: The Pool Part 2  
> 2\. Needed. Chapter 21: The Secluded


	6. The Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie hang out with Volleyball and introduce her to Vivi to help with her situation.

So much went through his head, the eternity of the storm that never really went away, even with the amount of time given. Sandra used to talk about it being like the storm on Jupiter, also known as the Great Red Spot. It would remain there, twisting, turning in different parts. She didn't sugarcoat the fact it would remain within Steven as well, comparing it to his own monster. Red, symbolized the chaos...

The usage of the Leviathan being the resemblance to his pain and trauma was written in a book about Animal Symbolism, written by a psychologist come philosopher. It was an eBook he had downloaded on to his phone, saying that the animal analogies would be easier for him to portray different aspects of life, emotions and concepts to correlate to. It was odd and Steven couldn't have fathomed how much that had helped him properly identify signs. The leviathan roars because its hurt. The ants run away from traumatic experiences and butterflies in the stomach usually meant nervousness but this case, it was more akin to guilt than anything according to the psychologist, saying that butterflies had connection to pride, their status as caterpillars to cocoon, an evolutionary desire to be free, but at a cost to themselves, lose a part of themselves; feeling like they blame themselves for when the change never ended up being what it promised; the beauty came with fragility and pride goeth before a fall.

Connie said that made little sense given the true reason..but it didn't stop Steven giving her a copy as well for her to read, that maybe it would help her during her studies. Or not. It was the thought that counted.

His monster had a face and it was a face Steven both resented and had to respect. It wasn't the evolutionary path that he intended to carve for himself but it happened anyway. Colours were the original starting point, before animals were used to give more distinct detail. He had no way of knowing the deeper meanings unless someone spelled it out to him. 

Just like he had no way of knowing how this weekend was due to be spent purely with Connie and Volley; the latter the person he'd least expected to be hanging by again. He couldn't lie to himself in how awkward in made him feel, but holding here there in the bed, like a lost daughter, gave him all sorts of feelings he tried to pinpoint; research as what that was comparable to. The book mentioned a stag; a male deer that held such relative connotations to what he was feeling...it could linger nearby, watching, observing with caution and care.

The next day they'd gone in to town. While small it had its own set of shops and cafes. There they stocked up on supplies and wandered the streets. Volley's eye caught on top this one shop with a heart on it, reminding her of Spinel in a way. Fate, however, decreed Connie take her in there to allow her to buy and blend in with humans. While it wasn't absolutely a thing they needed to be cautious about, its was if they were going to Jayhawk, they needed Volley to be inconspicuous. Inside was warm and bright, white walls and a welcoming atmosphere. 

Inspiration drew from Vivi, doubling on the hoodie business, as Connie found one that was white with pink sleeves. The smallest size was too big for her however, but the smile on Volley's face told that she didn't mind it. Coupled with the black pants and white runners, Volley eventually looked like anyone else. But she did look like a small child. Especially with her hair still in a low ponytail that rested on her left shoulder with a slight curl to it. A shy, polite little girl that looked like she was wearing her Dads clothes.

It became apparent of how much both Steven and Connie wanted to protect Volley. She would have gone through so much and coupled with the way she helped Steven in the past, he felt it was an obligation to assist her now and the constant smile on her face confused him on whether or not she was honestly happy or...like Steven himself, held the habit of pretending everything was fine. He did get to know her on Homeworld, but in actual fact he could see her fear while hanging around him. She could claim what she feels to his face, but the truth was seeded in there, ever since the Reef.

He couldn't push her, thinking she was too fragile but...he also didn't want to underestimate her either. She was a Gem and Gems could be tough. But Volley wasn't designed for front line combat either.

Not to mention the unspoken fact was that she's never intermingled with humans all that much.

Steven's own travels have taught him a considerable amount of insight. He wasn't overly uncomfortable but some of his conversations became much more smoother, less jittered when it came to talking with peers and others his own age. Connie was Connie but...everyone else who wasn't Connie or his dad or the humans from Beach City, it was getting better.

He wasn't a conversationalist; he hadn't been for a few years now. Being brought up the way he did had some connections not necessarily go sour, but fall flat. He could wheel and deal and make business conversations without any problem. Being a Diamond had him being able to be educated more so in numbers and statistics, logistics and expectations. Those he could predict could go wrong and the information given to him when requested was all work related.

Now...being a human and doing human things was the challenge most others would take for granted. But humans could only try.

* * *

That night, they took Lion to Jayhawk as Steven left the Dondai at the motel. Connie showed both Steven and Volley around the place, where she was doing her classes and the funny stories of mishaps from other students. She compared it to a more mature version of high school but otherwise the students here were really nice. The three strode the pathways, as Steven became more focused on the birds in trees than any other human being, and Volley left pondering on the building structures and their consistent three story brick builds.

"So this is like Little Homeschool?" She questioned.

Connie grinned. Volley seemed so fascinated with it all, more so than the quiet Steven.

"Yeah you could say that." Connie replied.

"If you ever get a hold of the higher tiers of human education then we use these facilities to understand the more complex standings of the world at large...and when we graduate, we hope to use our new insights in the field, to help better the world."

Or so she would hope it would. It was hard to say in this economy. But overall, she'll find something, somewhere, somehow. She had to have patience and her work ethics would continue to have an impact far beyond any general education.

The three made their way to Connie's room. She welcomed them inside her humble abode, only to hear music blasting through speakers as she opened the door. Covering her ears, she was surprised to see Vivi there, leaning towards the mirror she had on the top of her drawers as she did her make up. 

"Hey Vivi, I hope we're not interrupting ANYTHING!" Connie yelled at the top of her lungs, almost toppling Steven over.

Vivi suddenly spun around with shock ridden on her half-caked face of make up. She reached over and clicked the pause button on the stereo.

"Oh soz Con, I was gettin' ready for tonight'...didn't expect to see you back so soon."

Connie grinned, as she walked in with Steven and Volley behind her.

"Nah who wants to give up the perfect opportunity to see Vivi busy trying to make herself look like a clown?" Connie joked.

Vivi snickered, her attention eventually focusing on Steven and Volley, the former smiling, although appearing slightly anxious at awkward, while Volley stood there with her default post and expression, unbothered by the world, as per usual.

"Heya Steeb, welcome to the dungeon." Vivi said.

"This ya little sister?"

Volley giggled, putting her hand to her mouth.

"Oh no, I am much older than Steven by thousands of years."

The low sound of trance became the echo of the imbalance of humors in the air as no one else said a word after that. Other than Steven clearing his throat.

"No kiddin'." Vivi said, blinking and uncertain of what she should say.

"Anyway, come on...you guys are just in time. I'm due to play tonight."

Oh yeah, Connie forgot to mention to Steven Vivi played the keyboard, although never really practiced it within their room; some of her time was spent in the music room practicing so Connie found it a shame that she never got to hear her play.

"And Squiz is supplyin' the booze tonight. He makes a mean punch. You should try it!"

Squiz? Squirrel was his name...well, his nickname due to how jittery he normally is but people usually underestimate him. Vivi then took off her signature black hoodie jacket, revealing her plum coloured singlet underneath, as she tied the jacket's arms around her waist. She'd had her jeans rolled up half way up her calves as well, revealing a simple silver anklet on her right leg. She also wore four silver bracelets on her left hand as well and adorned on her chest was a silver necklace with a locket. Connie had seen it before and so desperately wanted to know what was in it, but ever since Vivi caught her the first time looking through her stuff, Connie had been hesitant to even ask; letting the matter slide though the cat had always tempted her.

"I'm guessing it's at Jessies place tonight?" Connie queried.

Jessie being the rich but not necessarily the bitch at Jayhawk. Blonde hair but generally held a heart of gold. Her place was like a palace of sorts; a temple on its own. Too much credit to a mansion to be religiously devoted but Vivi always called it the Divine Church of Getting Maggotted (what ever that actually meant.) Jessie's parents owned multiple factories that produced parts for laboratory use, not to mention supplying Jayhawk with equipment crucial for studies.

"You got it." Vivi replied with a finger gun and a wink. Her focus then went on Volley.

"So uhh Volley, you're a Gem yeah?"

Volley nodded, grinning widely, with Steven raising her hoodie to show off her stomach Gem (with Volleys head nod with permission)

"Indeed. I am a Pearl. I once worked under Pink Diamond, Steven Diamond and my current allocation is the Pearl serving General Jasper of the Homeworld Armada." She said with a courtesy, grabbing the ends of her hoodie.

"Pearls were once made to order servants. Since Era 3, Gems are allowed to do as they please. Within reason." 

That definitely raised an eyebrow from Vivi. Though, out of what, none could say.

"Huh...okay then." She said, ever so casually as she rubbed her chin.

Though Steven had an idea, one that he learned from back during the incident with Spinel, something that he had thought of before, but didn't remember until now.

"Wait, Vivi, you still don't know what Gem you are do you?" Steven asked her.

Vivi shook her head.

"Nope....I mean, I haven't really had the time to dig deep into my own origins...." She said. Connie knew she was lying...or she wasn't. All she understood from observation alone is that Vivi carried on with her life like nothing had really changed. Whether or not it was supposed to was really up to Vivi herself, but...if Connie thought about it, what WOULD she do with that information, anyway? She had options but was content on her own studies to move along in life. A mystery left unchecked.

"Volley, Vivi is a Gem too. But she doesn't know which one she is, so I thought maybe you could help her." Steven said.

That caught Volley off guard, but she was eager to assist.

"Of course. If I may, can I see your Gem?" The Pearl asked, holding her hands in front of her.

Vivi nodded, taking the hoodie off of her waist and raising her singlet upwards. Volley leaned in, giving the Gem a good look, even squinting. Everyone was kind of left frozen, awaiting for Volley's answer. She leaned back, putting her left hand behind her back and a right finger pointing upwards. The moment of truth...

"I cannot seem to identify it." She said with confidence.

_What?_

"It thought all Pearls knew all types of Gems?" Steven stated.

Volley shrugged.

"We know what we're supposed to." She replied.

"I mean, it _is_ a Gem, but I don't know what cut of Gem that is. I could ask the Diamonds, but obviously I cannot."

Was all this effort a waste of time then?

"Anything with a similar design?" Connie wondered, putting her valuable input in as usual.

She had to have known something, surely. She was a Pearl who told Steven about Gems he never knew existed until he started to work on Homeworld. So if anyone knew, it was her...so she tried to think harder.

"Hmm...it has a vitreous lustre, kind of like glass." Volley described.

"The shine is a good indicator of its quality, but I can only...hmm...it could be a newer made Gem made in the later parts of Era 1 or some time during Era 2. I wasn't available for either of those. You'll need a former Kindergartner to help properly classify it, but I'm sorry to disappoint..."

Connie's eyes went straight up to the Vivi's perplexed expression, wondering how she felt about that; being part of the unknown once again.

"So...I'm _not_ a real Gem then?" She said, her voice a bit scratchy.

No..she had to be. She was a Gem. There was no other explanation. But...she had no powers, nothing else than the visual indicators and the Gems primary 'organ' as proof of who she was. Unless someone was playing an absolutely horrible trick on her....or she could have been suffering a nondescript medical condition. For that Connie would need her mother.

"No, you _are_ a Gem. Most definitely." Volley continued, immediately cutting the doubt out of that prospect.

"I lost eight thousand years. So much has changed that you could indeed be a more recent cut."

In a way that made sense once Steven thought about it. He didn't want to contact the Crystal Gems, but the only other person he could count on, was Peridot....ugh...he didn't really want to, but he might not have a choice in the end. Peridot mentioned something along the lines of Era 2 gems missing certain features found in era 1 such as shapeshifting and other important elements, but... they had barely seen what Vivi was capable of.

She didn't appear all that phased either. So...it was just something they had to put more effort with looking into. Whether it would take them months or even years...Vivi would find her answer eventually.

"It's gonna have to be a mystery to be solved a later date." She said as she finished off her make up. She zipped up her black duffel bag and went out the door.

"Convoluted, Steeb....Volls, I'll see ya'll at Jessie's."

* * *

So...they couldn't find out what kind of Gem Vivi was and the cat was on _all_ their shoulders; including Volleys. She was a bit sad, worried she'd let them down in helping. Steven had to assure her that she didn't. It just told them that she wasn't an ordinary Gem. Steven however, hit himself on trying to figure it all out too. While he was in tune to most of the Gems he saw more of during his time on Homeworld than he ever did on Earth, he did often forget names, with Volley up to the task of correcting him or updating where required.

His broadcast helped them identify him at least. Which, the more he thought about it, it made sense that the majority of humans on Earth couldn't recognize him, to which he was horribly thankful for...because while Steven was the boy who just loved to help, the fact remained that he didn't have people running up to him all the time to ask for it was in part, a relief that would sound terrible to anyone else but Steven. He would the situation called for it, but now he was asking for help more than he was assisting others.

What a strange twist of events for Steven alone. The one animal associated with this type of feeling was the Koala...correlating with confusion. How appropriate for someone like Vivi. People knew of her but not her current standing, namely, if what Connie had told him was true, was that the humanness she possessed was what helped her blend in. His...jealousy of that fact was meant to be minor and it should have been minor. He didn't understand why it had hit him harder than it was supposed to...and Vivi wasn't the person to hurt people on purpose either; incredibly well meaning and possibly well liked. He told his Therapist this and all she said was that it was okay to be envious, but told a type of respected envy; one you can have and maybe use it as a way to find himself and his own humanity....even if it's not a human to begin with. The shades of green in his heart would tell much, but not a lot.

Volley became fascinated with Vivi's hybrid console, to where Connie said she could play it, since Vivi allowed Connie to practice when the former was away for long periods. While she was distracted by this interesting device, sitting on Vivi's bed while doing so, it had Connie prepare herself as well, changing into something a little bit more of a flashy casual; an orange singlet with denim three quarters and her white toe covered sandals. Steven sat on her bed, however, slouched as he lost all focus, honing in on Volley as she made funny noises while trying to play what ever game that had her making them. He wasn't mentally paying attention; his hands in his lap, his mind making trails on its own in the light of his own thoughts.

He was going to a party. A party with people he didn't know. Too many people. He's been to parties and hosted parties. With people he knew. And that nights when some of the hotels were hosting do's and what not, Steven was never interested. People he didn't know or...frankly, cared for. His travels were mainly for making it about himself anyway. Selfish but for the right reasons.

"Do you go to many of these parties Connie?" Steven asked.

"Not really." Connie answered, as she put her hair up with an orange scrunchie.

"I mean, some of them are get togethers. Barbecues, meet ups. A lot of students like to let it loose. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

He didn't but he did. Something about having to mingle with completely human strangers had his anxiety levels begin to rise on the sheer thoughts about it.

"You can take Volley out. See the sights. No one is forcing you."

He could. He felt sorry for her. Despite how stable she looked, despite how humbling it was and how nice it felt to just allow her this semblance of peace...he could see something within her that could have been crying to get out...but she was such a master of handling it all, that again, Steven felt the envy flow like green coloured blood in his veins.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom down the hall, I'll be back. Don't go anywhere...not yet anyway...but think about it, talk to her." 

Steven suddenly snapped to attention as he could suddenly seen Connie, fledged in orange, in front of him with a warm smile on her face. Steven returned the smile.

"Okay...I'll uh...just be here then...thinking and stuff." He replied, his voice croaky.

Connie kissed him up on the forehead, before she rushed out of the room.

Steven sighed as the door closed behind her, before he collapsed on her bed. Inhaling, he could smell her scent everywhere....this had been her home away from home but it had its special Connie touch. He didn't expect anything less. It was so warm and inviting and the sprinkle of fancy with her yellow star lights. If he wasn't careful, he could find himself here a lot.

Looking up, he could see Volley so entranced in what ever game she was currently playing. Getting up off the bed, he decided to sit next to her, his cat demanding to know how she was feeling.

"Having fun?" He asked. Demanding was lessened to a kinder word of respectful inquiry.

Volley giggled, but it was one Steven identified was contrasting to her usual one. He knew the difference and it irritated him. Not her fault though, she was trying.

"I am." She replied, ever so sweetly.

"Are you?"

Steven blinked, unprepared for that.

"I uh...."

It was then Volley put the console down on the bed, then turned to Steven and took both of his hands. Her face warped considerably, to that of worry.

"I can come with....or if you want to leave and go back..." She offered.

What? What was this?

"Volley, what's going on?" He asked, a bit off put by her sudden change in behavior.

She sighed, folding her fingers with his own.

"I just want to look after you....."

The sparkles in her eyes told him that she was about to cry. He knew it. She was upset about Homeworld. Ugh, he needed to go...but not yet. Not until he's spoken about his Therapist about it first...and they'll find Jasper...and the Gems will solve this. They'll find out what happened. But Volley...Volleyball needed him right now. Steven could still give, but the taking itself was harsh enough without him constantly feeling the guilt. It would take years to get used to.

"And I want to take care of _you_." Steven answered, tightening his grip.

"I'm...I'm sorry you don't understand..."

Volley shook her head, putting her other hand on top.

"No....I do...and not just because of what the Diamonds told us." She said.

"I still feel...awful about what happened...about you turning into a monster....about you being hurt because of me."

The BYW-3 chemical. Steven remembered. But Steven no longer cared about that. He put the trust in her to do the right thing and people do make mistakes. It was his fault for not telling her to read the fine print of the requests before accepting them. The damage was done and both of them had learned a huge lesson in the long run. Steven refused to let Volley feel that way, but...he could only guide her so far before he needed guidance himself.

"There was a lot I messed up with too." Steven admitted, to his shame.

"But....I'm dealing with that. I'm getting the help I need to go through it. I'm not angry or upset or annoyed with you. I'm proud of you."

Proud? Was that the best word?

"I-I just need...another...human being who's been taught, in a place like this or even like Little Homeschool, on how to work through these tough emotions. I'm sure you've gone through a lot...with Mom...with the Diamonds and with me."

He wiped a tear from her eye as she looked down in shame. She was humbled by the gesture, blushing more so.

"Why would you feel pride over a stupid mistake I made?" She cried.

No...it had nothing to do with that. Steven looked up, his mind fighting off wave after wave of code, taking in realizations and similarities, concepts the correlated, connected and were interwoven with the jarring answer his mind was giving him.

Volley was similar....to _him._

Both were hurt, damaged...and were very good at hiding their emotions. The facade, the warm blanket. The lyrebird...to mimic the sounds of others, the be who they actually weren't and that their game of pretend worked so well it had others fooled.

It was then Connie's phone went off; sounding off a message. Probably Vivi wanting to make sure Connie's getting organized or that she forgot something and that she wanted Connie to bring it to Jessie's place. Steven sighed as he walked over, just to check who it was. He picked it up and pressed the home button, hoping to see the main screen...only for the screen to glitch out to black, before it changed to a pure glowing amber screen...The four black squares in a row was the sender and underneath...

 _Come to the party Steven_. It said.

He dropped it out of shock, stepping back a bit and reeling in the feelings as the spike of spit fire ran through his heart to his limbs in a yielded flash of heat. He heard the door open as Connie re entered into the room, having put a faint layer of make up, akin with orange, slightly sparkly eye shadow and her hair all done up nicely. He swallowed, suppressing the urge to be frantic, instead he focused his sudden energy burst into spinning towards her and pretending he didn't just look at her phone.

"Your phone went off." He said, as stable as he could make it, though it was quaking underneath slightly.

"I was...about to grab it and give it you...."

Connie rolled her eyes as she went to the table and grabbed it. Steven was beside himself, incredible nervous and stuck in place, ready to accept his fate that he checked his girlfriends phone without asking. They trusted each other so...maybe there was no punishment...if there was, then Steven would be okay to take it if Connie didn't hate him for it. That was the last thing he wanted right now...that message was incredibly...

"Oh please, it's probably Vivi telling me she forgot- oh never mind..."

Steven gulped....and squeezed his eyes shut as a drop of sweat rolled down his face. Oh crap, oh crap, _oh crap._....

"It's just that reminder that the next assignment is due on Monday. I finished that on Thursday but its a mass text." Connie replied, extremely calm and aloof about it.

What? It wasn't....

"Of-of course you did...I mean, what else would it be?" He questioned, his voice shaky.

Connie chuckled...she didn't seem at all worried or noticing how much he was internally panicking right now.

"My boyfriend telling me how much he loves me and wants to start building human relationships." She joked.

Oo-oh yeah.....of course it would be something he would text her, for sure. But the message had him thinking...was something at the party that was going to happen? It had him more terrified. He had to go.

"Definitely." He said as he scratched his head.

He wasn't hallucinating was he? He made fists and put them to his hips as he looked up in constructed pride.

"It does say he loves you and that he and Volley would love to join you at Jessie's party." He said with all energy in creating the wall of false confidence.

A beaming Connie who wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him on the cheek meant she fell for his lie. Oh boy, he better not regret this.

"Thank you!" She said, before disconnecting.

"But I know you Steven. Any time you need to bail, just come talk to me. You can trust me on that I will know exactly why without you needing you to explain a single thing."

Then Lion would be able to take him back to the motel. Made sense. Though it wasn't that he was heavily worried about. Connie's head went to Volley, who was still sitting there with a smile on her face. Now that Steven knew how she really was, he could immediately tell her facade apart from her real self. Did she not learn anything?

"Volley might need to pretend she's your little sister though." Connie murmured.

"I mean, the whole thousands years old thing is fine...I know when a few of the boys have had a few, they hold a bad habit of trying to flirt with anyone."

 _Annnndddddd_ the green returned to his stomach again...though it was only now that such a feeling was comparable to Hedgehogs; connected to dilemma. It was spiky all the same.

"I'll look after her, don't you worry." Steven assured her, before popping his collar.

"Any guy going after her is gonna meet with her...s _uave older brother_...."

Connie couldn't help but laugh, trying and failing to put on an earring.

" _Ahhh_ you do act the part so well..." She said with poise, as she walked over to Volley.

"So...you okay to go?"

Volley nodded with enthusiasm. Concern for Steven was her aim, her goal so he didn't imagine she would get up to too much trouble, only that he kind of anticipated her being super clingy and for Volley he would put up with clingy. For now, it had to be a fun night and Steven looked forward to Vivi performing. Although the message Connie received would not leave his head, getting spikier in chest more so the more he tried _NOT_ to think about it. The Great Red Spot in his head got stronger, feeding the Leviathan with its needs, but Steven outright refused to let it get the best of him, using his shaky will-power to get through it.

What ever that message meant, Steven was going to keep an eye out. Connie snatched his hand, unaware of what really just happened.

"Ready to move!" He said as Volley got up and took his other hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens....*x files theme plays*  
> Maggotted is Aussie slang for getting drunk.


	7. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven, Connie and Volleyball join a completely normal human party.

Parties. The collective group of like-minded individuals, communing, drinking, dancing. Jessie's place reminded them too much of the time Kevin invited them to his party to get together. Non one said a word about it, but both Steven and Connie couldn't help but connect the similarities. Even up to Lion dropping them off outside of the giant house with orange concrete fences.

A long drive way and a mansion akin to a temple. Well kept gardens and a fountain centerpiece in the gardens with angel that poured out water from a large jug. As the pair walked past it, Connies eyes lingered on it more than she noticed she had been. She was trying her hardest to maintain neutralness, holding Steven's hand as they went by, the latters head in a completely different place altogether. As long as nothing went wrong, he would be fine...

A nice clear night, decorated with different sparkling lights the chatter along with the fair few hundred or so guests, numerous and faces Connie knew and some she didn't. She was used to this atmosphere. As for Steven, the pressure of using his social skills against humans would prove to be a challenge. Volley however, was grinning. Perhaps, flash backs to a lot of the balls Pink used to throw on Homeworld. Pleasant or covering it up herself; she could pretend, her facade a lot stronger than Steven's own.

A young woman with long blonde hair and a white summery dress came running towards Connie and hugged her, much to her surprise. She'd disconnected from Steven briefly to return the gesture. There was the natural flow of order here. It would appear chaotic but it was...normal. Laughter that would make it appear that the joy felt was shared but...Steven felt nothing from it. Volley took his hand and stayed close to him, like she noticed the way he was looking and tried to make sure he was comfortable.

He should be helping her. Not the other way round.

"Jessie this is Steven!" Connie introduced.

A mind fixated on horrible past experiences with hosts and being a host. The one to make sure that everything went as smoothly as it could possibly be. To make sure guests were entertained, were happy and held little complaint. Jessie looked bright, happy, cheery...facade or no facade, she was well equipped. He couldn't sense anything wrong; in the sense where she was busy stressing herself out. His Therapist mentioned there were people who were excellent in maintaining stress levels to a point where automatically knew what to do simply because they had trained themselves to do it. Jessie has had plenty to work with, with presumably hosting similar parties in the past.

Connie the way she could connect others like when Steven used to be able to connect himself to Gems. Gems were simple. General expectation to them was what ever they were by default. Humans were more complex, more akin to change so they were less predictable. He blamed himself for focusing too hard on half of his life that the other was poorly neglected.

He wasn't 'ruling' humans. These humans ruled themselves. Funny, how it was a lesson taught to Gems and Steven under the pretense that everyone needed to rule themselves. Power would be subjective to charisma and money and merit. Steven had merit, he had power though, preferred not to use it. Charisma he used to have, his charm against Gem kind was a power on its own. This sea, sea of variety, of the unknown, rose his anxiety but it was manageable.

This place was warm, welcoming and cheerful. Once upon a time it would be Steven's dream to mingle but his own isolation meant he'd grown out of such things. Hearing the voices of others, hundreds that deafened out all the words he had said to himself. No room for the internal, clicking, hostile debates in his head to tell him this or that. Panic would have him still saying stupid things which would serve to make it a lot worse.

"Oh you're the one she can't stop talking about? Welcome! Enjoy yourself please!" Jessie responded, looking at Steven with the biggest grin.

He did the obligatory shake and smile, his mask not broken just yet. The golden necklace dangling on her chest had him distracted for a split second, seeing some kind of monster pendant on it....a bird like creature with a small turquoise gemstone.

"Likewise!" He said, trying his hardest not to appear awkward.

A conversation that flowed like water, that mostly hit rapids that Connie was able to guide them by without being a complete disaster. He had to remind himself that there was nothing wrong, everything here was mellow, chill and for the lack of a better word, happy. Jessie showed them around as she told them where the food was, where the drinks were etc. Steven wasn't entirely enthused to drink but...to last the entire night it would boil down to temptation and peer pressure...and as Connie suggested, he kept having to introduce Volley as his sister. For the sake of his own sanity, Steven honed on her every word, although over time he noticed how clingy he had been as he followed Connie everywhere as she began to chat to her school mates. This was her life, no his.

So many names and faces to remember, but lost in the ocean of noise and music. Steven practiced his pitch which got better with the more people he was introduced to. It was exhausting but he then again, he spent the better part of a year trying to remember the many Gems he's had to deal with as Steven Diamond. It was easy because he's done this before but it was harder with a different crowd. He also noticed that Connie must have talked about him a lot during her time at Jayhawk; which gave him a sense of pride that drove up his anxiety a fraction; to keep up a reputation he never knew he had with humans was tiring as well.

The worst part was the way he could see Gems in the faces of the crowds; Rubies, Quartzes, Agates, Jades etc. Personalities that would fit the same exact mold. Colourful, delightful....well meaning. It wasn't too dissimilar....

Despite all that, one thing he treasured the most was that Connie was enjoying herself. It was her that was taking the lead and not him for once...and he noticed her white lies; her helpful contributions that would stave off the more embarrassing aspects of his life. Saying that, he wondered if she was ashamed of certain events...and outright left extremely private details. He could learn from her talk but he honestly hated to lie.

And hate was a very strong word.

Connie herself noticed he'd been quiet and more withdrawn, more so as the night went on, taking him aside to some nearby seats by the table of finger food to check in.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked.

She'd sat him down, and sat down next to him, while Volley went to his other side. Connie had to disconnect, but Volley had been holding hands with him all night. Her smile never changed. Meanwhile Steven had fallen into a subtle slouch, his energy signs withering. How such an extrovert become an introvert over the course of events...Connie would need to take care of him irregardless.

"I'm....okay. Really." Steven said, looking like he was trying to withhold a sigh.

Connie wasn't fooled however. She'll break that invisible wall before he could put it up.

"Did you want to leave?" She queried.

No...no he was a bit fatigued, his mind making its own games and stories in his head.

"No no....you go talk with your friends, I'll hang out with Volley. We'll be fine." Steven tried to assure her.

Connie's focus then went to Volley. She didn't want to leave him, but she had confidence in Steven knowing his own limits....and while she appreciated that he wanted her to be able to socialize on her own without him lingering around like a deadweight, she cared for him more than anything and wouldn't at all mind if he just needed his space. Volley being there with him should help him last longer. She was a tough Gem beneath that sweetened exterior; Connie's seen that before. So was Steven; and she's definitely seen that side.

"Look after each other, okay?" Connie ordered.

Volley nodded, confident in her allocated role.

"We will!" She said.

* * *

As Connie faded into the crowds, Steven had dissociated for a brief moment, before he felt the tug of Volley's hand. The colour of the flashing lights of blue, green, orange and pink filtered through as more of a distraction course, a blend of paints and the sounds of the chatter and the music tended to cut all other life out...with touch the only sense that could bring him out of a neon-chronic funk.

"Can I make a comment? I mean, it's relevant to your mother...if it's okay." She asked him, knowing how touchy he could be towards the topic. She mentioned in him during tours to other planets but only if it was relevant.

It took Steven a brief moment to get his thick head around what Volley meant but let her talk anyway. He had to promise himself not to turn pink....especially if it was yet another bad thing his mother committed.

"It's fine. Whats up?" He said, after taking a big breath.

Volley beamed.

"I know....that I'm not supposed to make comparisons but...this is the sort of thing your mother used to throw all the time. It brings me back." She said.

That's right. His mother used to host huge balls back in the days; parties like this. It was a role she'd come to detest but otherwise was known for them.

"Oh yeah, it's sort of nostalgic to you. I know Mom was kind of the popular one among all the Gems."

That she was.

"But then I remember how miserable she was." Volley told him, her face forming a frown as she looked away.

Steven turned to her, his eyes widened slightly. As Volleyball had seen through Steven, she would have seen it with Pink the same exact way.

"Looking back now...she liked to mingle with the Gems but once too often it got out of hand. Many occasions had her locked up for fraternizing or playing her jokes in the hall. A Diamond should not act that way."

No doubt such moments would have had her locked up. Moments that had her crying because she was just trying to have fun, to the Diamonds it would be mean that she would have caused shame.

"What about you?" Steven questioned.

"How did you feel?"

Lips that were sealed on such a question, but her darkened gaze told Steven the basics of how she really felt.

"I....I don't know." She answered eventually.

"What should I feel?"

Happy? Angry? Upset? Distraught? There was a depth to this Pearl that Steven had already seen beforehand and it was there, sitting right in front of him. To be a Pearl, to act like the design of a Pearl. Their feelings were irrelevant. Only the feelings of their superior were important and their own never to be shown; only to reflect their own Diamonds attitude. It had Steven look deep into himself, relating to the question more. The deceit of the mask. The masks that people wore to hide everything...to pretend, to show the world that they had everything together and they were going to be fine.

"A question I ask myself every single morning." Steven said.

"Alongside what do I feel and what do I want to feel."

Volley still held his hand, but then looked into her open empty one before she pressed it against her chest. 

"I...felt...sad..." Volley said.

"I wanted to feel...happy for Pink. I should have felt happy...but..."

Denial of such feelings would crack the mask eventually. For someone with Volley's situation would have broken a long time ago. A normal person anyway. She would serve as Stevens Assistant with such loyalty and such a smile, but he never dared to dump everything on her. He couldn't. He'd sworn not to do so. She would give him a Good Morning and a Good Night. Whether or not she knew, but it did give him some part of his sanity...he wanted to tell her how much she meant...how long he would have lasted if it weren't for her being with him for most of the time. The position of a Pearl, but one he entrusted to do his work when he possibly couldn't and how much she had taught him about the history of Gems and Gem's he's never seen or heard of before.

He squeezed her hand back.

"Welcome to my world." Steven, more out of relief for himself than for Volley, but he hoped she would take some comfort in the similarities the two obviously shared. His eyes then caught on to Connie as she was busy talking to Jessie again with a drink in hand. He never took Connie for someone who would divulge in such a way of life but...each to their own. A reminder popped into his noggin; replaying the events on Homeworld, more the Era 3 Ball that she had taken his hand and took him off his throne, which had them dance and accidentally form Stevonnie, which had caused a complete riot with the Diamonds.

"Did you have ever have the need to rebel and just....be with Mom on the dance floor?"

Volley's face instantly warped into that of her softer, but realer smile, giggling in recollection.

"More than once." She said.

"Pink would want to initiate but after a while she stopped. I never understood why....but now that I think about it, being imprisoned one too many times might have had her stay her hand. She wasn't happy about restraining herself though."

Discipline was meant to temper one especially if you were considerably troublesome overall. It still had him on the fence on his true feelings about her, in either direction proved too false.

"But with all the help you've done...I think, if she were here, she would be out with all the guests...dancing just like she had always wanted to...and no worry about being punished for it."

Punished for being herself...

Volley did miss Pink; Steven wasn't blind to that fact, though a nagging argument in his head had him ask a selfish question. He went red and he really shouldn't be asking it...but...given with all they had been through, Steven just prayed Volley wouldn't take offense.

"If circumstances were different, if it was Mom here, sitting with you right now...would you prefer her.....or me?"

He felt sick...awful, awful question...

It was worse as Volley looked down.

"I....would want both of you." She said, a pink blush creeping up on her face.

"You're both equally wonderful."

Steven grinned, his aching heart filled with familial warmth. An answer he should have expected from someone like Volley. Who put in the love just like her former Diamond. The inability to decide was her decision in the cutest way Steven wouldn't deny to be so. His own feelings for Volley were very...brotherly. More so than the Rose Quartzes and a bit different to Amethyst and in that oversized pink and white hoodie that made her so gosh darn adorable that practically sung younger sister. Or maybe because Volley was the only one who had been the closest to his mother besides Pearl and was still trying to run through all the complications just like Steven himself. Hurt, but pushing on irregardless of the situation.

And her continuing to hold his hand, the premise of touch that kept him grounded in a way that Connie had been doing was more than welcoming...more than comforting. It was one of the only other positive remnants he could possible treasure and since he'd hadn't seen the gems for months, she besides Connie, cemented her place well in advance and became a much needed channel to switch on to. Both of them needed to work out how they really felt about everything that had gone in the past but they could do that together...Steven was learning to share and he could teach Volley too. While he got to know her as his Assistant, he still wanted to know more about her as a friend.

"Heh...you're just saying that. But thank you Volley. I'm really glad you're here." Steven told her.

Volley put her other hand on his, turning towards him with a tender expression.

"I'm glad you're here too." She replied.

* * *

It made it a bit easier and the night more bearable, definitely. At some stage, he would need to make the biggest decision, one that churned his heart to the point where he may have to just skip therapy altogether if the situation on Homeworld got worse. Connie would get the message from Pearl if anything else came up, especially if they had found Jasper.

But then he would have to deal with the backlash; the controversy and would never hear the end of it. It wasn't his job to fix matters anymore but deep down, they would need to understand that if the Diamonds were in danger, that a Diamond like Steven would be the only one to be able to deal with it. Volley might say that the Gems could keep it all bay for now but time....just give it time and it would fall apart.

To which became Steven's greatest fear.

Though the voices eventually calmed down as people went to a nearby stage. Steven never noticed due to amount of people around that he never noticed the huge patch of grass behind the stage. But it had a series of people setting up musical equipment; which had been Steven's forte in the past which amounted to more positive vibes if anything. Lights and all, reminded him of the many performances in Beach City with the over all set up. Jessie jumped up on the stage and introduced herself.

"Hey guys, thanks for coming!" She said as she took to the mike.

"Are you all having a good time?"

The crowd roared...Steven then stood up and took Volley with him through the crowds.

"Great! Because we have some amazing performances from some of your fellow students tonight! Let's start of with our favorite Aussie, Miss McCudden herself, Vivi!"

The cheers indicated Vivi was indeed admired by the student body. She came up on stage and waved to the cluster of people who hooted and clapped. She looked awfully relaxed with a can of beer in her hand. He's never seen a drunk Gem before. Was it even possible?

She'd gotten behind the electric keyboard and sat down on the stool, cracking her fingers and adjusting the mike in front of her. Steven could hear fake accents being thrown at her, to where Vivi only just smiled.

"Fuck off." She called out to the man near the front.

"You blokes can't get the twine right. Just leave it to the experts, alright mate?"

To where the crowd just loved it, getting louder as she drunk the whole can at once and ended up crushing the empty can on her head and throwing it aside. Steven could hear some girls to his left comment on little Vivi takes shit from other people. 

"Right, you'se ready? I got a lil' tune for ya's. It's less abrupt that some of my previous works, but it still hits hard...."

Silence followed the series of _sshhss_ as Vivi played the first few chords, then leaned into the mike as she closed her eyes.... a song both taken slowly and quickly in some parts...

* * *

I was too busy lost on these empty streets, these empty rows, these empty seats.

Too hung up on these last sensations, last revelations, last temptations

Who could have recognized that this was the end, the end of this, the end of that.

Even though I should have told myself, warned myself, the idea was flat.

It wasn't true at _all._...it wasn't true at _all._...

The lies, the surprise, being left in the dark.

Those eyes, those cries, your way left it's mark.

Remind me now, remind me how

that it was never true, that it was never you

You were too busy lost on those messed up stories, those made up glories.

I should have never chosen those first recommendations, post hesitations.

Now I'm the fool running around all broken, left unspoken, gift no token.

Never again will I hold myself, scold myself, now I've awoken.

It wasn't true at _all._ It wasn't true at _all._

These lies, that surprise, I was left in the dark.

Your eyes, your cries, I had lost my damn spark.

Remind me now, remind me how

That it was to be, that it was never me.

It wasn't true at _all,_ it wasn't true at _all_

Look at me now, at this curtain call.

Buried in deep, those last demonstrations.

I am me now, no last hesitations.

Never again to the submission

To where my heart had given permission.

That system is broken beyond repair.

All that leads now is the lead to despair.

Around and around we go again, around and around we go again.

It wasn't true at all, it wasn't true all so let's all count to ten.

One; So the way forward is clear to us now

Two ; Don't need you no more, only I would know how.

Three; Let's run away, with the company of me

Four; Let's fly away, with my friend called the sea.

Five; Gargantuan hearts; with beasts we cannot tame.

Six; It was all your fault, your presence to blame.

Seven; Before I forget, it started with you.

Eight; It started with you, that wasn't all true.

Nine; that wasn't all true, the lies are all there

Ten; Forget everything, I no longer care.

Forget everything, I no longer care.

Forget everything, I no longer care.

Forget everything, I no longer care....

* * *

A tear rolled down her face as she finished on that note, calling on shroud of darkened distortion around herself. One only Steven seemed to notice...it was dormant, before the noise of the nearby fountain had returned. It was a song Steven found to be quite...sad..melancholic...and the way Vivi had sung it...she had to have sung it from the depths of her heart. Everyone clapped and cheered anyway, including Volley. She shot up and dipped out, not saying another word.

The remainder of the performances held the same results, with a few bands playing some songs for the hour before the party continued as normal. Steven hadn't seen Connie for the remainder of it all and kind of wished she was there with him, but Volley remained with him for a while...and she was quite content...until Steven thought about what she had said; so he had with a burdened heart to let Volley go mingle, perhaps find some new human friends in the process as he promised to stick around. Volley did so with a bit of hesitation but her blending in with others who seemed to be fascinated with her hair had her talking a lot anyway. 

In a crowd of strangers, Steven felt the brunt of his loneliness return. He could listen in the conversations that had little to no relevance or anything he could remotely understand. He couldn't connect, correlate. He'd given himself the task of being here for the sake of himself...or the sake of Connie. He'd found himself dissociating again, seeing gray strings on faces. It wasn't...it had been a while since he'd felt this way and immediately disconnected himself from the heat of it all, to behind the stage to sit on the swinging seat on the top of the hill near the thick gardens of flowers that overlooked the party. It would allow him to watch over everyone from a distance without having to talk to them. 

He relaxed into the seat, inhaling the pleasant scent of the flora around him. Gardens had good and bad connotations but he was content to remain where the only voice he could hear was the slight rustle of the trees. Steven had to find some kind of solace...his eyes eventually finding Connie...she was fine, still talking and listening to her classmates...and Volley was doing the same.

So why couldn't Steven? He closed his eyes again, forcing negative thoughts out his head, trying to find the good within the bad. He should be feeling happy. He wanted to feel happy but right now he was just...bleh...

"This spot taken?" A voice asked.

His eyes shot open...seeing the purple human like gem in front of him, wearing a black beanie on her head now.

Vivi. The enigma. Out of all the gems he's ever come to know, she's had to be the most mysterious he's met. She's not like other Gems, those he could see, could know and could depend on for certain tasks. He's made orders, needed them for their usual tasks. For the betterment of Gemkind and eventual recovery of the worlds they stole to make themselves. Vivi was a lot like Amethyst in more ways than one, but possessed her own, unique flavor.

"Uh no...you can sit if you'd like." He replied.

She sat down next to him and handed him a can of something. He's never really tried alcohol before, but the offer to be refused he felt would make him look bad. The can itself was green with the labeling of white and red. Steven nodded and eventually took it with a bit of hesitation. His Dad never encouraged drinking, but Steven could afford to for one night with one can that wouldn't make him crazy straight away. His eventually focused on how casual and relaxed Vivi was, sitting back and opening her can first, before he looked down at his with contemplation like fireflies drifting about his head...then clicked his open too.

"Your performance was amazing by the way." He complimented.

If he could relate to anyone about anything, it was definitely music. He could get to know her better through tunes and instruments than standard conversation. What was standard anyway?

"You wrote that yourself?"

Vivi made a lazy nod, though it was apparent she held no interest herself, going from her lax posture.

"Yeah...inspired by le bullshit of life. Which reminds me..."

Like with Volley, there was definitely more than meets the eye with _this_ Gem.

"Connie tells me you went through some shit." She said.

Oh no...oh geez....How much of said shit did she happen to mention?

"Man, you were like one of the big wigs or something? Must have been rough from what I heard."

She wasn't wrong. Internal panic ran through his veins but...it was just him and Vivi...and Vivi....

"I'm still working through it." Steven replied. Despite how brash and verbal Vivi was, she was at least honest. He appreciated that part the most out of anything. She would have no real reason to lie. Unless her gem programming was designed that for her. No one knew what she was and there was that spark within her, that spirit that felt...natural. Like any humans. He took a sip from the can and shivered from how bitter it was. It was just beer, from the description. He wanted to get more from Vivi too.

"But yeah...what about you, you must have an interesting history yourself."

Vivi smirked.

"Kinda...not really..." She said, her voice waning.

"I mean, I was raised by my mother and father. Lived as a human. Told me I was....adopted when I was ten."

Ten? So she was still a relatively young gem from the sounds of it. She had to be what, between eighteen and twenty one? Steven didn't pry, but she was brought up like a normal child and the truth eventually revealed. He tried to get his head around it. So many other questions followed. Personal...too personal. Relating to her would bring more to the front.

"Heh...I was raised by Dad for a while. Then I went to live with the Gems where I could learn more about my gem side."

Vivi nodded.

"Yeah 'Gems'. Something I am... _supposedly_." She said with a hint of ire.

Steven knew it the first time he saw her, within his being that Vivi was a Gem, even before she showed it. Volley said the same thing and she would know a lot more than Steven himself. He didn't want to place his opinion until he was a hundred percent sure.

"Figures I wasn't human. Wasn't sure I wanted to be one anyway."

A complete opposite of his mother's vision.

"Connie was tellin' me though. Gems were made for a reason. A guard....or a technician or some kind of builder..."

Steven's eyes wandered, spotting Volley laughing as she spoke to other humans; a wonder to behold.

"A servant even. But...what was _I_ made for?"

A question Steven had had on his mind ever since he found out about her. Everything else eventually became too complicated. But then again he made that dare like he did to Volley, preparing her for it beforehand.

"Forgive me if this offends, but...why does that matter? Shouldn't who you want to be, be the main goal?" He put forth.

Vivi grumbled and rolled her eyes. 

"Pfff.....hardly....this life sucks." She commented.

"You being raised by your own kind would have been nice."

A loaded statement, if Steven could admit. For him to find himself for years was a chore. It was better for him to figure out what he wanted to be for himself and held that candle of wisdom to Vivi...but could understand the issue of not really know why one would not understand the reason for their creation. Her scenario was a bit more complex than his but he could sympathize.

"Well, that's the thing." He said.

"I am a human and a Gem. It's been hard to handle both."

Vivi nodded as she took another swig, then swirled he can about as she savored the liquid in her mouth briefly before she swallowed.

"You can pass for a full human..." She pointed out.

"Look at this dumbass grape. You know how many stares I got while growing up?"

Steven didn't want to imagine it, but...she had a valid point. Steven could easily pass as one or another. Though mostly forgotten on one string. Gems thinking he was Gem. Humans were thinking he was a human. While he did find it had to behold a particular threshold with the two together, he did have it easy. Connie mentioned that she wasn't even from here...he ended up putting his can on the barrel next to the seat as he rubbed his hands together. The chill of the night began to seep in.

"So...you come from Australia?" He asked.

Going from all the obvious hints.

"Yeah....the lucky country." She said, her tone taking on something more sinister and dark, she looked to her left as her face fell.

"It's not the worst place to be. I came here to study...humans can and do go overseas for that purpose. If you're travelin', you should go there. Lot's to see....and not a lot dependin' on where ya go."

He had no intentions right not to go to another country but at some stage he might if he felt like it. He just didn't want to turn it into another Korea situation

"I can put it on a list."

A list...

_A list..._

A schedule, a purpose...

The world went dark and suddenly Steven himself wearing the Diamond Suit again. He'd gone into the pink state, noticing how Pink his hands had gotten, his breath intake on the increase as he realized how everything managed to change so quickly.

"Steven?"

He looked up, then stared at Vivi had become gravely concerned. He tried to shake it off, but the damage was done. A shake of the head and it eventually went away.

"Sorry, sorry...I uhh...."

The leviathan was gnawing on the back of his neck now. He swallowed hard.

"You can guess you can say I'm a peach?" He joked, his voice scratchy.

Was it worth lying to her? She'd been honest with him. His false smile went away, replacing it with a steady type of sadness.

"Being part human means I'm subject to medical complications."

Vivi nodded, though wasn't even sure of what she should even to say to that.

"Huh...well, cross breeding does bring up issues in animals due to chemical imbalances between species. I shouldn't be surprised...but somehow, surprises still come, no matter how much you're taught or how much you study."

Never had the truth been better spoken.

"I hear you." He said, a natural smile forming on his face as he leaned over. He took his can and took another sip.

"It's being managed but accidents still slip through."

It was then Vivi laughed.

"Hey, you're honest about it." She said.

"I like people who can admit their fuck ups. Art is about taking advantage of imperfections of life, even fuck ups. Inspiration born from pain. Used for good instead of evil."

How was someone like Vivi so wise like that? He's seen and done things hes not proud of, but he could still use it to prove himself. To change himself. It was his power. A shift in the wind had Steven looking around the crowd again. Trying to find Volley, he found near where they were sitting earlier, squinting on her as she held a frown. Steven sat up to get a point of understanding of what was going on, unsure of what he was looking at. A male, looking down on her and her shaking her head disapproval, followed by false smiles had charged Steven with concern, his chest feeling the weight of the potential issue on the horizon. Something was up and he didn't like the look of it one bit.

"Excuse me Vivi, I need to take care of something." He said, handing her his can before running to the crowd.

* * *

He pushed through the scores of people in a mild panic, excusing himself to others he had to brush past in his haste, to where Steven, to his horror, could see that Volley had been backed up against a wall by the same guy, behind the table of finger food and pillars from the mansion that blocked most of the view from everyone else. The way he looked; akin to a predator; a mad man as he had a hand against the wall, his arm trapping her completely. Volley was left trying to defend herself through words alone and while she was able to do it to the Diamonds, she wasn't sure what to do or what to say to this human. Steven took a deep breath and invaded the situation with purpose.

"Hey ahh, I don't think you should be doing that." Steven told him.

The male had spiky brown hair with blue eyes and a suit...and a can in his hand...his breath smelled of alcohol, which meant he already had few. He looked at Steven in such a drunken haze, his posture and form all over the place as he wobbled about.

"Hey, you shouldn't tell _me_ what to do..." He said with a notable slur.-

Volley looked at Steven, her eyes telling him to get her out of there and now. Steven had to handle this in a mature manner before anyone got hurt; his own anger threatening to make it worse for the guy, so the route Steven wanted to take had to be taken with caution. The last thing they needed right now was a brawl on their hands. Steven could work with his words....but not with someone who was quite inhibited to begin with. The best suggestion was the lie he'd been making up all night, hoping it would work.

"That's my sister you're messing with." Steven said. He stood up straight, his arms crossed and giving the guy the biggest look of disapproval he could create...well it was a mix of that and generally being unimpressed with what was going on right in front of him.

"Ya..ya _sister?_ " The guy called out as he wobbled towards Steven.

"Not my fault she's super cute. I love the small ones."

Steven rolled his eyes. Yeah this guy was gone completely. He felt nothing but pity....rather that, than the riled up pink state....though even that was breaking through slowly.

"So leave her alone." Steven asked nicely.

The guy ended up laughing manically, spinning straight around and pushing himself up against her, whispering in her ear as she shook.

A drop in the ocean mean the big tidal wave as Steven found himself fuming. The Pink State arrived instantaneously whether he liked it or not. The fire in his belly, the frustration of this...individual and how he dared to touch Volley had him nearly about to snap. He went up to the guy and pulled him off with the least amount off of effort, though the guy ended up standing back, confused and laughing.

"Tough bro are ya? I'll show ya tough bro!" He roared.

He threw a weak punch at Steven who merely stepped out of the way. If he wasn't careful....the guy almost fell over, but then found a pot plant and picked it up. Steven shook his head, as the guy then threw it, to where Steven simply summoned his shield to block, the sound of the pot breaking surrounded by the wave of noise that echoed as it clashed.

"Fucking hell, I though you were friends with that bubble gum bitch Vivi...wait..."

Would this guy shut his trap already. He felt Volley's hands wrap around his arm as he looked down at her worried face as his pink state faded. He put away his shield for now, hoping the guy got it through his thick skull.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

Volley nodded.

"Yes I'm fine....I didn't want to hurt him....White said no hurting humans..." She confided.

Somehow the thought amused Steven briefly, but the situation was still disturbing nevertheless. It was one of the earlier rules put in place during the first stages of Era 3, alongside some of the major ones he'd helped implement back then. The guy got back up, puffing and panting as he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

"Ahh you're the one Maheswaran won't shut up about. The Universe asshole." He continued.

Steven just sighed. Disappointed being the most prominent word.

"Hey, enough is enough..." He said. He eventually parted from Volley and grabbed the broken plant, filled with pink peonies and ended up putting into the nearby garden and seeding it in the ground. He stood back up, only for him to hear Volley call out his name. Steven turned to see the guy attempting to punch him in the face, only for Steven to move backwards for him to miss completely. This guy just would not quit. He was...generally...feral under the influence.

Feral...

Steven squinted again, seeing the green in the eyes of the guy as his mouth started to foam with rage. How much did he have. He kept trying to strike Steven over and over, who then became more concerned by the moment.

"Volley, go get Connie. Somethings' not right here." He called out.

Volley nodded, running out to go find her. Meanwhile Steven tried to calm the situation here as the guy was just completely wild and aimless with his combat. He ended up just having to pick up the guy, who was screeching by this point. If memory served correctly, Steven could hit a specific spot at the back of a humans neck to knock them out completely. Putting the man down and sitting on him, putting on all his weight on the guys back, he took another deep breath. Careful...carefully put his hand on the back of the guys head and gently put him down, then moved his hand about, fearful of causing permanent harm to the guy. This wasn't a gem or a monster...it was actually a guy down at shop who thought him this. A useful technique considering that Steven thought he'd never get to use it.

Remembering his lesson, he eventually hit the right spot, although as the guy went too limp, Steven was instantly worried he'd killed him, so he flipped him over and put his head against his chest. Upon hearing the steady heartbeat, Steven was relieved, putting the guy against the nearby wall and hoped he wouldn't be too sore in the morning.

He stood back up and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. THAT was close...although he then did hear more commotion from the party itself. He whined briefly...before heading back out.

"What now?"

Suddenly he came across an even worse scene; every one was tearing into each other, their eyes a glistening green as they punched, scratched, pulled, kicked, headbutted; you name it, all the party goers had become the same way, creating a complete bloodbath. Steven swallowed and tried to stop them, but there were just too many people.

His focus then went to Connie. Oh no...

Please...

He called her name repeatedly, while trying to avoid himself getting hurt in the process. His heart sank, deeply troubled by the prospect of her having fallen into this state. She was smart, surely...but...

Steven had little time to think as he saw Vivi but she didn't have this...disease, this absolute churn of behaviors that left him completely gobsmacked.

"VIVI WHATS GOING ON?" He called out, trying to get to her.

"NOT SURE MATE!" She replied, tripping a nearby girl off of her feet.

"THEY WEREN'T LIKE THIS FIVE MINUTES AGO!"

Steven was panicking, seeing all this chaos took him straight back to the leviathan. He didn't want to hurt these people but...they were fighting each other. Like a war with no reason to do so, other than falling on primal instinct.

They managed to reach other, only to have a circle of them surrounding them, their eyes filled with nothing but hatred and scorn and the inhumanness of their expressions terrified Steven to no end. He ended up creating a bubble around them, while they figured out their next move, the students now hitting the bubble with their fists. It would be able to hold them back easily....but...where was Connie though? The only thing on his mind right now was here.

"How come you or I aren't affected?" She asked.

"This is completely bonkers!"

Volley looked okay, she was busy finding Connie...but...only one real answer came across his mind once he connected enough dots.

"We're Gems!" He called out.

"What ever this thing is, it's only affecting, I'm guessing...full humans...I'm not sure!"

Vivi looked down, taking his words seriously and running the concept around in her for that brief moment. It was a plausible and possible only explanation for this bizarre occurrence. What could this really do? What and why and how could be figured out later. Right now, the issue on their hands was a few hundred people unable to think or act clearly for themselves. The blood and the damage had Steven almost freaking out, wreaking havok on his already damaged mental state. He couldn't handle it, as he started to hyper ventilate...his eyes unable to not focus on theirs...the primal anger that Steven knew all too well was literally staring right back at him. 

She could see this, she could the fear written on his face and hearing his bated breath had her wanting to protect him more so. He was a good person and was good to Connie...and the way he wanted to help others despite his condition was encouraging to her. He was worth as much as respect as she had given to Connie....while she wanted him to figure out her true path in life, away from it all...she could see him as a friend...one she'd been needing for a long time that could finally help her with answers. It was a selfish thought but she hadn't been able to get this far at all. 

Coming to America was the best decision she'd ever made. Right now, however, she needed to make another very important decision.

"Stevo...." She said.

"Find Voz and Condor. I'll handle this...get the fuck outta _dodge_."

Tears ran down his eyes. No...he couldn't leave her behind. Did she know how to fight? Did she know what to do? Because Steven as sure hell didn't.

"Are you going to be okay?" He cried out.

Vivi smirked, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"You say I have a power." She said, her tone rife with smug confidence, cracking her knuckles.

"I think its time I used it eh?"

He really, really, _really_ did not want to leave Vivi on her own....all these once innocent people, transformed into complete animals. 

"Drop the bass...I mean...bubble and let's do this!"

Lifting his hand, he allowed the bubble to expand, giving Vivi enough room to attack and enough room for himself to flee. It went into his head on how much this hurt, but he watched on as Vivi immediately went on the offensive, sliding around like she was break dancing; so she was quite nimble and quick on her feet with quick slaps, kicks and knees. He didn't have time to watch as Volley came around with Lion....who had Connie laying on it, wrapped up in Volley's ribbon wand. Oh no.... _Connie_....

He turned back to Vivi who kept going, turning her head around to Steven as she knocked out three guys.

"Go Steven, I'll catch up with yas later, now GO!"

Disbelief froze him solid, as Lion roars pushed some of the feral students out of the way, as commanded him. He had no choice and the guilt would just to have wait until later; right now was the time to get themselves out of there and to help Connie out. He looked down at her, seeing that she was busy thrashing about, her eyes under the influence and her mouth foaming...and it was all in took for Steven to shuffle his priorities. Facing Vivi once more, he was eternally grateful.

"Please be careful....thank you Vivi!"

The devilish grin on the purple gems face meant she was about to have some fun herself. She nodded as Lion summoned a portal as the group left to the safety of Steven's motel.

Meanwhile Vivi punched her opposite palm, preparing for the worst but looking awesome while doing it. She'd always been a fighter...she could handle this easy....until the cops arrived.

"Alright you cunts, I'll show you true meaning of getting fucked up!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If people find Vivi saying the C word too much, I'll remove it. It's uh...offensive in aus but in heavy lingo it's used quite commonly.


	8. The Feral Case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Volleyball take Connie back to the motel room, to help find a cure to her rampancy.

Back on Homeworld, things were actually quite simple in theory and in practice. Gems held their own needs quite well, voicing their opinions, their thoughts, their feelings. Taking it all into account, to navigate, to direct, to divide and merge...no crazy line of requests or diluted obligations that were stained with all the things a human might need provided to them. Lines, parallel, diagonal and not the curved, scribbled mess that had emerged.

Steven was able to do so with such ease, identifying the needs and understanding them quite clearly. An issue was normally resolved amicably. Was one part too weak...or too heavy? Analyse and work out the solution. Gems could get the idea more much clearly and efficiently.

Humans could do the same if they tried, except the needs were much more complex and not every opinion would hold be held a valid value. No? Yes....Yes...No...too interwoven, interjected....too much emotional bias verses practical solutions .

Right now, he said nothing, only looking at Connie, who lay knocked out unconscious on the bed at the motel in the dead of the night. He couldn't believe how frantic she was; holding the same signs as everyone else. Green eyes, foaming at the mouth and going absolutely ballistic and violent. He was forced to knock her out; a move he deeply regretted in the fears of her being really hurt, while Volley had her ribbon wand still holding her in tight so shouldn't could harm herself or others. Volley had taken the liberty to take off Connie's sandals and wiped the make up off her face; an act shown with care and grace, given how much make up was smudged up to begin with as a result.

He'd sat on the wooden chair, leaning over with his chin his hands, mind deep in trying to figure out a way to solve this. A bunch of humans, just trying to enjoying a night out as they're allowed to then, _bam_...this happens.

Volley sat next to Steven and tried to get him to pay attention to her; as she could see him trying so hard not to cry. The amount he was holding back had to be at least several layers of concrete thick and rather heavy. Gem issue, human issue...he no longer wanted to be a part of this nonsense, his freedom in the pursuit of normalcy was meant to be his...not this...definitely not while his girlfriend laid there, inflicted with some kind of sickness.

He was in that position for about half an hour and in that mean time, Volley had gone back into the same position she found herself in back on Homeworld; the prompt comfort of touch. He's done it for her but now Volley wanted to do it for him. The amount of despair riddled on his face couldn't be ignored, no matter how much Steven tried to suppress it. Volley's eyes jumped between her hands, to Connie to Steven every few minutes as the fight to do something, anything for Steven became a mess, with her unable to make that call without any sort of prompt. It was a habit of a Pearl; to respond to the needs of their superior. She's never had to do anything of the sort to Jasper; the ultimate Quartz who never let anyone touch her. Now she was hesitant, again and failing, again. Why couldn't she just move and do it?

She could see it in his eyes; those lost in recollection, Volley knew that much, though she didn't know that it was how similar this was to when he was a monster, his leviathan, his miasma, affecting her, causing the pink geometric lines...he caused that. This? He had to hurt Connie to save her and he couldn't let the thought go that it was _his_ fault. His mind raced, unable to stop itself from falling into that deep pit of self-hate...a matter he had contemplated on calling his Therapist for but not in the middle of the night. Sandra may have said to call her if required but even then Steven's irritable habit of worrying about everyone else instead of himself came into full play.

Racing out of control, racing into those same memories, again, rewinding, replaying. He hurt her, Steven hurt Connie, he couldn't take it, he couldn't _stand_ it...she smiled, but that was for his sake...Connie did not have to sacrifice herself again and again, for him...but this wasn't a sacrifice, it was a mistake, a misunderstanding, he didn't hurt her this time. It wasn't his miasma, it was something, but it was connected to Steven, it had to be, stuff like this is always a Gem related issue, it always is and always has been, it couldn't be anyone else.

He couldn't talk to her like he used to, Steven didn't have that power right now, if he did he would apologize to her and he didn't want her hating him for what he did. But he didn't do this, so why did it hurt? Hurt? Why? Whywhywhywhy _why._...

Stopping his thoughts like _that_ was impossible....

 **Thump, thump, thump..**.

Until they _were_ stopped, gifted freedom by mistake, by a few thumps on the door, as Volley instinctively got up, though she looked at Steven, who nodded his approval for her to check it out. Opening the door, it was Vivi who stormed in, feet first.

"Sheesh, that was absolutely insane!" She called out.

Her clothes were torn in several places as the purple gem stumbled inside. Volley moved out of the way and offered Vivi at seat, the latter unconsciously taking her off up and sitting down. Steven had asked Lion to find Vivi if he could, to make sure she was okay.

"Man when your cat showed up I was like, I don't remember having that much...then...I'm like, eh...but then I remembered Connie tellin' me about Lion...so I was all like, real original mate..."

Steven still said nothing, his inability to respond was due to his mind unable to arrange words at that given moment. Relaxing back, Vivi ended up examining the situation, seeing Connie unconscious on the bed as she pulled off her black beanie and slapped it on the coffee table and combed her hair with her fingers.

"What happened?" Words like those had been all that Steven could muster.

The pace of the room was filled with awkward tension, as Volley stood next to Steven with her hands behind her back, while Vivi and him talked. He would get through this. He had his therapy sessions which told him it would pass, but something this painful...it might take a while.

"I honestly....dunno...time line of events?" Vivi chalked out.

She described on how she fought through and tried to find Jessie, whom hadn't been drinking as the host, trying to organize things from the background. She had no idea how this could have happened, as she ended up calling the cops. Those were restrained by Vivi whom had managed to hold them down with some rope from the nearby garden shed, with those end up going with the cops to the police station. Everyone else ended up going to nearby hospitals.

Jessie was fearful, telling her parents straight away, while Vivi herself tried to understand how it all went south so damn quickly. Leaning back in the chair and crossing her arms, Vivi sighed, her eyes now on Connie.

"Hows ya misses?"

Steven pursed his lips, moving a piece of unlocked hair out of Connie's face with his hand.

"Out cold." He said, with sadness.

"This better not be permanent."

In his mind it wouldn't be. Some kind of infectious thing that made them delirious and violent towards unseen enemies. 

"Ehh...we'll leave that to the experts." Vivi suggested.

"We should take her to the hospital."

Steven shook his head. No. They couldn't. Steven could fix this if he knew how. Paranoia became the fox by his feet, nibbling away as it shook.

"This has to be a Gem issue. Right Volley?" He said, trying to get her opinion.

The Pearl couldn't determine the true cause without some kind of proof; no one could ascertain what really triggered the sequence. After all, it was a human event, not a Gem one. 

"I am not sure." Volley responded, surprised at how he was even asking her.

"We're okay. So it could be just a human accident."

A _human_ accident...words that Steven did not want to hear, troubling more so. Accident or not...it had Steven terrified, frozen in place as he tried and failed to find a way to resolve it.

"I was thinkin' about...maybe it was something in the food? I've dealt with food poisoning, not me personally....but friends." Vivi continued.

"Worst thing people get are bad guts. Not turn them feral."

Steven's overthinking eventually got the better of him, turning him pink as he stood up and pushed the chair back. Too much noise, too much commotion...too much anger and too much sorrow as the leviathan clawed at his chest. Volley withdrew herself back, worried for Steven's well-being than she was afraid of him. She could see how the mention of food could change him in an instant...a reminder of her own mistake that churned her up inside, but not as badly as it did for Steven. The fox was there alongside the butterfly, being consumed by the leviathan.

"They're here." He said, voice quivering.

Vivi furrowed her brows. What was he on about?

"Who?" She queried. Steven told her this state was something that could kick in, which meant he was definitely in a bad place right now. He ran his fingers through his hair as he started to breath heavily; the beginning of his hyperventilating.

"The-the Rebellion...." He stammered. He wasn't mentally in the room, his reality falling apart as the room turned magenta under his power.

"Volleyball, they're here, we've got to find them!"

Volley swallowed, taking in what strength she could in order to stand up, but stopped shy of touching him, her hands near his form, but fear unsounded stopped her from getting any closer. It was then Vivi got off her chair, storming towards Steven. Before Volley could react, the purple Gem grabbed Steven's collar, yanking him to her and dragging him to the bathroom and slamming the door shut. Volley formed a soft fist in front of her mouth, damning herself for being unable to do anything to help him like he helped her. Instead, she sat by Connie, and hoped Vivi could get through to him where she couldn't.

* * *

In the bathroom, Steven was helpless against Vivi's assertive direction, instead pushing him up against the wall as she began to dig into him. He feared her expression, seeing something unfamiliar in her eyes that scared him because of how unknown she was, confused as to how and why she had suddenly been able to take control of a outright distressing situation. He was powerful, but felt small under Vivi somehow.

"For fucks sake Universe." She berated.

"No one saw this coming. Not me...not you and definitely not Connie."

She had a point, but it still didn't stop Steven from feeling the guilt poured on to his heart like boiling hot lava. Vivi let him go as she began to pace.

"Besides, no one died...an-"

"You don't get it..." Steven interrupted, his voice low yet filled with intrinsic fire.

"You don't really know what I've been through. Connie might have told you but you don't have the full story."

Vivi felt like she knew enough, but let him take the tiled bathroom floor for the moment, hoping his excuse was good enough to warrant his current behavior. Even though it didn't, Vivi wanted him to vent and eventually calm down. If what Connie said was true, Steven at his most angry was terrifying to behold but ultimately he held caution with how dispensed his power through his emotions, especially the negative ones bit even then....

"I am Steven Universe. People used to think I was my mom and my mom did some awful things. And I was the one who had to pay for her crimes. Over and over and over again."

A mothers sins passed onto her son.

"I fought for what was right and I...I almost died....multiple times. A-and the last big hit was me, becoming a giant monster.... This is what you get when you step into the world of Gems; you can't avoid the frustration that is dealing with them, with day to day..."

Vivi raised her chin. The threat of death or lingering right near it...indeed it would weigh on ones self.

"And now....now they're getting help...and I'm getting help....but...I don't think it's....I think I'm needed back on Homeworld. Because this...this was supposed to be left behind there and I don't...."

His pink state eventually faded as he calmed down...he tried calm himself down, taking in deep breaths. Vivi did not like how that statement ended, however...:she made a small, irritated growl.

"Fuckin' oath ya leaving her with me and runnin' away? What kind of boyfriend are you?" She called out.

A terrible one. Any event with Connie ended up being a complete disaster. A magnet of horrible situations...and the imagery sent Steven back into his pink state, his new ire for Vivi alone. She wasn't there, she didn't exist in the world back then so how could she possibly understand the amount of crap both of them went through? For Steven understood, Vivi got to be raised as a regular human being even though she wasn't. The type of green bile that raised up his throat once again. He took his stance of power, using the leviathan against Vivi and trying to get her to just...

"You weren't _there_ when I was the _monster_...Corrupted, massive and _deadly_....powerful...destructive...and _I hurt_ Connie...I..."

His voice began to crack, his power waned in that instant.

"I _can't_ forgive myself for that. I still can't....and I may never will."

Vivi raised an eyebrow. Wasn't therapy designed to break stuff like that?

"Funny that, she says ya didn't mean to. You tried but ya were kinda mashed up in the head if I'm not mistaken."

Connie did tell her a lot. Well, she had someone to vent to who wasn't her mother.

"But that's not an _excuse_! She almost died!" He cried.

"I need to go back...whether or not this mess is tied to what ever is going on Homeworld, it needs its last standing Diamond to fix the problem."

Vivi groaned. No. Help or no help it was clearer to Vivi if anything, that he was preparing to make a decision that could cost him more than he would see it becoming. Vivi's made those mistakes before and now she tripled checked everything, every little thing she did and prepared herself for what ever could come her way. But though, Steven recognized such behavior for himself back then, knowing his actions weren't necessarily something to be forgiven for but for what Connie had already said about Steven...is that he had nothing to be forgiven for. If anything, saving her from this situation was going to be one of the least harmful things he's done for Connie; gotten her out of a tricky, chaotic scene that would have been a lot worse had he not been there at all. She had to get it into his head about what he had to do...right now.

"How the fuck are you gonna something like that, when you can't fix the problem right in front of you? Aren't you like a fuckin'...I dunno....a wiz at problem solving? Shit, bloody take care of ya misses first! Don't be a fuckwit... _HELP HER_...." Vivi yelled.

Steven ran his fingers through his hair again, on the verge of pull it out of his scalp. Surely he had to think of something. Garnet was the expert on that and he was in no mood for her right now. His head felt into his hands, the newest trail making leeway into what could come next, the rapid fire second voice in his head began once more, his heart beating harder by the moment.

Ultimately, he knew Vivi was right. Connie _needed_ him right now and he had to figure out a way to help her, but right now, he didn't want her going to the hospital...lest her mother find out. Next thing he would know, he would get a not so nice phone call. Though that would be nothing compared if anything happened to Connie in the long term. It wasn't about Steven. It was about getting Connie back to normal, like before...healing her and...

 _Healing her_?

A shift in motion, as his head lifted up from sudden realization.

Healing. That's what Steven knew how to do. He's cured her eyesight so what's...

To Vivi's confusion, he bolted , opening the door and going towards the kitchen part of the room and taking a small glass cup out of the cupboard underneath the kitchen sink. He'd quickly filled it with water, while Vivi stood in the doorframe wondering what the hell he was doing, but was kind of glad he wasn't busy moping about it anymore. She watched on as he examined the glass with a narrow eyed look.

"It's no durian juice, but it will work the same." He claimed.

"It's gotta."

Running over to Connie's side, he put the cup down on the table, as he rested Connie up, leaning her against the bed head so she was upright Steven then looked at Volley. Vivi was surprised how he go from an enraged mindset to a rather controlled one so quickly. Maybe it was this side that Connie fell so in love with.

"Can you open her mouth for me please?" He requested.

Volley nodded, going to his other side and carefully put her head back and lowered her bottom jaw down a bit. Steven then sucked on his finger, then dripped the tip into the water. Vivi watched, not necessarily in fascination but with the cat on her shoulder, as the water turned pink in a series of swirls. She blinked, leaning her head in more forward as she leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms...she did not want to miss this at all.

With a deep breath, he took the cup and tipped the water into her mouth very slowly. Vivi could have sworn she saw sparkles appearing on Connie's forehead in the seconds that followed, as Steven finished pouring it all in and putting the cup on the bedside table. Volley closed her mouth as Steven helped her swallow the water as he rubbed her neck.

It was a tense moment, silence riddling the moment as Steven motion Volley take the ribbon off her. Shortly after, Connie started to cough, stirring away as she shifted, rubbing her head.

"Oh woah...man what a night...I...Steven?"

A smile took over his face at seeing Connie's perfectly normal brown eyes. Despite her state, she was back to them. Back to him and he couldn't have been more relieved; that desperation for her wellness discarded upon such a sight, replaced by a new type of contentment only covered by love.

"Oh Connie you're okay!" He said, crying waterfalls as he hugged her as tight as he could, throwing his arms around her and not letting her go. Connie herself, her head on Steven's shoulder, could see Vivi smirking nearby, furrowing her brows in confusion as to what in the world was going on.

* * *

Drowsy as all hell, Connie listened to Steven and Vivi as they explained the details. To Connie, she felt her head nearly explode prior to blacking out, but remembered nothing else afterwards. To hear her raging out and attacking people indiscriminately horrified her greatly. Volley had made her a cup of tea as Steven made sure to never leave her, although something told her something else was on his mind. Connie could always tell...he just wouldn't say with it with other people around. Having Vivi mentioned what happened to everyone afterwards was quite alarming too, which already had her set on investigating it as well. She held Steven's hand, feeling like had he had been fretting before hand, going from how sweaty his hand was right now. She was steady enough to talk, to allow herself to be able to divulge what she knew but obviously not much, though she held a new hunger to figure it out; a new mystery on their horizon.

"Jessie didn't have any enemies?" Connie asked.

Vivi shrugged, having sat down backwards on a chair and having her legs on the sides as she leaned on the back of the chair, her chin on her arms.

"Not that I'm aware of. Jessie's pretty popular within the student body." Vivi answered.

"She said she's gonna give me a call once the hospital finds out the true cause of the frenzy."

The frenzy...

It would be a matter of questioning for sure, but Connie had faith in Vivi to let her know how things went down. The latter checked her phone, before putting it back into her pocket.

"I should head back. You gonna be alright?"

Connie knew that was directed at her, but couldn't help but wonder if it was directed at Steven to, going from how Vivi was looking at both of them.

"We'll be fine." Connie assured her. How true that was, had been dependent on the few hours ahead until daylight.

"Volleyball, do you mind if you help Vivi get home?"

Volley nodded as she stood up and went outside, while Vivi herself held a particular glance at Steven before she left the premises.

"Universe, you make sure she comes back home tomorrow arvo in one piece or else." She said

Steven chuckled.

"I won't let you down." He said with a salute.

* * *

It was 11:34

Now it was just the two of them. Good. Connie needed to talk to him in private anyway. She urged him to sit by her and to talk to her. Because she knows the look on his face when he's feeling bad. He's got that wall up again, the wall graffitied with false smiles and the words I'm fine scribbled everywhere.

"Now, I didn't hurt you did I?" She asked. She took his hand again and made sure to keep the grip tight.

Steven shook his head.

"No...No you didn't." He replied.

"And I'm being honest. Volley tied you up and had you on Lions back the first time I saw you."

Volley did that? Connie was impressed. Going from how well she handled everything during the previous incident, she definitely had some kind of courage poured into her.

"And I kinda...had you swallowing my spit again....I'm sorry."

Pictures of juice boxes entered her head, amusing her of the old days. Kiss the princess and wake her up but she could see Steven not wanting to kiss her without her knowledge. She appreciated that but she wouldn't mind if he kissed her while she slept. That realm of dreaming, if it had been a nightmare would have definitely either awoken her or had cured her nightmare completely, giving her nothing but the sweetest of dreams.

But that no longer mattered. Steven was bothered by something else.

"If you thought it would help...and it did, it's not an issue...gross maybe but a practical no brainer when your name is Steven Universe." She said with a smile.

"So thank you. I mean it."

His smile at that moment had nothing behind it, other than the small snippet of sadness and his own fatigue. He was still sweating, which still meant he was hiding something from her.

"So I'm actually feeling okay...are you?"

Steven swallowed, looking to his side as he frowned. Just as Connie suspected. But she couldn't push him...he had to do this himself so Connie allowed him the room to talk.

"I...might...need to tell my therapist a thing or two....I was..."

She put a hand to his cheek, her usual gesture to get him to relax. Poor thing...

"I was scared...I was scared because I didn't know what to do....I was freaking out...and I never even got to apologize to Vivi for yelling at her....oh geez....Tuesdays Session is gonna be heavy I can tell."

So, they were arguing? Vivi would be able to handle it for sure. She's had worse but then again she's never had Steven at his worst. The mental image of him screaming at her was daunting but he's done the same to Connie. So she knew what it felt like and if it had been anything like that, Vivi wouldn't really be bothered all that much....that was what Connie believed anyway. Vivi would tell her when she's able to about her own opinions on Steven when she was ready to do so.

"Don't worry about Vivi." Connie told him, her voice soft.

"Don't worry about me either."

Connie still felt awful over the fact that every time the two got to hang out, something bad would happen. This had be the worst of the lot and had her thinking the two should just isolate themselves when the first semester finished, giving them enough time to hang out and at least attempt to do normal couple stuff. She hoped Steven didn't feel this way, then again, wouldn't blame him if he did. 

Steven still melted into her touch like he occasionally would, his tension still winding down after all that chaos. He eventually took her hand and put it into his lap.

"I know...I'm still thinking about Homeworld...and I just can't help but think...is this connected to a Gem issue or if it's something else entirely. I don't know what I fear more." Said Steven, a bit lethargic.

Unrelated issues will be dealt with in due time by the proper authorities though the cat on Connie's shoulder hinted at further involvement if the situation warranted it. Gem issue? Call the Crystal Gems straight away. Let them handle it and to let Steven go. That had always been the plan ever since he left Beach City. 

Though, once it came back to her, the issue with Homeworld and the Diamonds....if it came down to it, even Connie wouldn't be able to deny the fact that he would have to return there...someday. A fact she just had to accept. Even his therapist. She would hope that once he talks to them, that they would be able to teach him how to handle matters on a far better note than what he had been doing the last time he was there.

Was Connie herself willing let him to go just like that however? She hadn't heard back from Pearl about Jasper so...it would be a while until they even got the whole sitrep.

"We can do this if we plan this correctly." Connie told him.

"I don't like this any more than you do. Now...let's worry about this in the morning...right now, I think someone is need of a big night of hugging...."

* * *

Steven was surprised on how well Connie was taking it, but she was right. It did need a good amount of planning. He had part of it sorted out; though he was only going to see Sandra the following week. See her on the Tuesday, then see Lars on Wednesday and he'd given Volley a week until he could make a sound decision.

He'd taken his sandals and jacket off, not bothering to change into his pajamas this time as just jumped into bed with Connie; laying on his side while his head laid on her chest; her fingers gently massaging his scalp. A warm feeling pooled from her touch, resonating a sense of calm to his entire body as he fell into a semi-fetal position. She'd kissed his head and felt him relax on top of her. Turning off the lamp, the two tried to rest, but too much of a frenzy went on in his own head, quarreling and disputing with questions unanswered.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. His hand played with a rogue strand of her hair that fell down her chest, as he began to gently wrap it and unwrap it around his index finger.

Connie in the meanwhile was troubled by what happened, only really concerned about how badly Steven seemed to take it; her main priority was ensuring he was looked after.

She wasn't the only one affected and with Steven's help, she was physically fine. Mentally? She was annoyed at herself for allowing to happen, but in the end, really, could it have been stopped? She planted the notion of Vivi being able to figure things out from here and solely just didn't want to think about it all right now.

What she was thinking was of the major decision Steven had to make and he had to make it soon. Connie was on board with it all and her studies be damned if it meant the outcome would end up worse for her. She just had to trust Steven. 

"Yeah." She replied.

She looked down to see his irresistible puppy face looking up at her. It was too cute for words. She took his hand and kissed the back of it.

"Just try and get some sleep Steven...just...close your eyes...and think of...I dunno...."

"You...."

Connie snorted.

"Think of me....and...maybe you and maybe us taking a real holiday somewhere...no humans, no gems...you me and maybe Lion if he wants."

She felt Steven's giggle reverberate through her chest.

"I'll try....I'll...I'll let you know how it goes....and Connie?"

The way he had begun to finally wind down, his yawn contagious.

"I love you....good night."

Connie felt the heat on her cheeks, taking it all in as he closed his eyes.

"I love you too Steven. Rest well." She replied.

A moment went by until she heard his sleepy breath; not a snore but it was heaving breathing. Connie couldn't sleep for the life of her however; while she was content to see him rest easy, she'd checked her phone for any more messages; grabbing it from the bed side table; noting the glass with a bit of the pink water inside, presumably from when Steven tried to heal her. She squinted at it, wondering and thinking...

What was strange that night that would have prompted such a response from everyone but the Gems? What was everyone eating...or better yet...drinking?

The beer?

Connie eventually smatched her phone, seeing a text from Vivi, telling her that Volley was sleeping over for the night and that she was going to teach Volley how to play Smash. At least Connie or Steven had to worry about her. But then she messaged Vivi back, telling her that she had a theory....

"I'm thinking it might have been the beer." Connie wrote.

Empty cans were spread everywhere.

"Maybe check that out first."

It was a start.

" _Never thought about that Con._ " Vivi eventually replied.

" _I'll message Jessie and let you know_."

Connie then let the phone drop on her chest, before she looked at Steven again, his body rising and falling. He had to have been having better, less weirder dreams than her, surely. But the swan rested on her head; she never told Steven about the strange dreams she'd been having lately. Birds and chains and feathers. Different but held similar themes of being locked down, unable to fly.

Maybe it was telling her to let him go. To let Steven to go help the Gems. It would hurt Connie to see him leave and potentially to fall back into bad habits, ruling as the Diamond King in place of the other Diamonds being unable to do so themselves. Though, they weren't actually ruling per say, the lack of their presence and the fact of their....well, disappearance or destruction (Volley had no clue) would lead the only choice of Steven heading over there to take care of matters; especially if the Rebellion was involved.

He was needed over there, over the fact that Connie wanted him here, with her, with him in the comfort of her arms, the arms of the only human he could trust besides his fathers and more so with the revelations of his own current predicaments. Connie had so much to teach and explore...while he still had so much to discover on Earth for himself. If his therapist could be put any sense into what he needs to do for himself, she hoped it would allow him clarity in his decision making.

Now Connie was guilty of over thinking, thinking of all the things that could potentially happen to Steven while he was on Homeworld, the worst being his own capture...and it bugged Connie to no end...she had to be there for him...he needed others to help him. Volleyball, the Crystal Gems, even Jasper...he couldn't do this alone and Connie was furious at the fact that she couldn't be there.

But she could make plans for herself. Right now, she had to strengthen her resolve, preparing for the inevitable choice that Steven would have to make.

The matter of when, not if.

She felt her phone vibrate, lifting it up. She was expecting Four Square, but it was Pearl.

" _We found Jasper._ " It said.

And when was getting closer by the moment. Connie didn't want to cry.


	9. The Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven makes a decision. Connie does as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intimacy level increased!

It felt like natural clockwork, if Connie could be honest. Strange for a Sunday.

The way things seemed to move a natural pace; Steven's facade was well structured right now, but he wasn't pretending to be happy. He was pretending to be neutral. Which had Connie debate to herself which was more disconcerting.

That Sunday morning had Steven drop Connie off at her dorm and talking with Volleyball about how they were going to go back to Beach City to collect Jasper. Although Volleyball had insisted she go there on her own and for Steven to remain where he was. The debate was in his head; the decision to leave Earth wasn't cemented in just yet, his thoughts in a scramble until he got time to speak to his Therapist.

Eventually, he relented, telling Lion to take Volleyball to Beach City, then told her to come back with Jasper at his motel. Connie was dismayed, on one hand, she would have thought Steven could've taken the risk to head back to Beach City too, but in a way, he wanted to take his departure with discretion. Connie didn't like that he was doing this...keeping it all hush hush like he normally would take matters. He did not want the Gems involved what so ever. What Steven claimed was that he wanted to do it with a clear head, was the complete opposite. All the while, Connie honed in on his neutral tones and aloof outlook. Practical, structured. He was already taking his Steven Diamond persona on again.

But in the matter of hours, between Connie getting changed and managing her week's schedule and Steven heading back to his motel and getting everything organized, it was apparent he was dead set on going back to Homeworld and Connie couldn't stand it. She needed to know what was going on for herself as well and felt like she had to make sure Steven did not go overboard this time...

She was at her desk, one thirty in the afternoon and the world kept turning, as Steven always wanted it to be. Nothing else stopped while he was doing what he had to. Wasn't necessarily something he wanted to do, but the logic filtered in with personal bias and as the sun drifted by, the room an amber hue, Connie couldn't help but feel anxious herself. Her hand on the desk, with a pen in hand, looking at her timetable. This class here, that class there. Simple, doable...

Vivi was busy on her Hybrid Console to notice, laying on the bed while she played a game about a cop who was chained to some kind of cybernetic ghost thing. She didn't ask, her thoughts circulating into this irritable itch on the back of her neck. She imagined the meeting between Steven, Jasper and Volleyball...she imagined being there, not just as his girlfriend or jam bud...but his knight, his partner in combat as he relayed his plans and receiving intel from Jasper and the like. How Steven must have been really feeling about it all must have caused him some variance of pain; Connie's only semblance of certainty.

Was it the cat on her shoulder again? She couldn't determine. Her work was meant to help people in the future. Connie had to be the practical one here. For she was but a human of flesh and faith, her stance in the world was but a speckle of dust in the celestial winds. Now she curled over pieces of paper that wrote her fate for the week ahead. To learn, to write...to absorb text that became mass of nothingness in the end. For what she had learned the most was out there, in the field...with Steven.

To save the world with language was his forte, but he had the power to back him up in case things went south. Connie did too, but...not to his extent.

Never more had she felt useless than she did now, her pen lingering above the paper itself as she was about to write in her next assignments due date....but she found herself flickering to a future date...a date towards the end of semester. She closed her eyes. Focus, Connie...would Steven want her to do this? To throw her work away, like she hadn't slaved herself over the years to get to this point in time.

She would have to make do for now...but she just couldn't stop thinking about it.

* * *

Her dreams didn't fare any better. What was meant to be escape from the tortures over thinking, was those bird dreams....the chains, the feathers, the green goo...the screeches. It was recurring...and it was annoying, now that Connie's sleeping patterns had begun to suffer for it...she could cope for the moment, taking in different calming teas and ailments as required, writing off it as stress from studying. As Tuesday came however, that night, she received a text...

_"Can I come see you?""_

Steven...

He came within the hour, around four sixteen that afternoon as the two met each other at the diner in town. Connie knew what he wanted to talk about. He had to have spoken to his Therapist about his plans...and the impending sense of dread...the ants were on her skin again. She'd worn a blue top with her shorts for the day so mild, yet so tense due to the oncoming horizons.

They sat in a booth again and ordered fries. The thought of fries had Connie wondering if this was his last meal on Earth.

"What did she say?" Connie blurted, not wanting to delay this any longer than it needed to.

Steven lifted his head. That stoic look told her enough. To everyone else...to Connie...there was a difference.

"Who?" He said, perplexed.

He better not be playing dumb with her.

"Your Therapist? I mean...."

No, she should not be doing this! What happens between him and his Therapist, should stay there. But Connie couldn't help herself, she needed the uncertainty to drift way, her heart aching for the submission of facts.

"Sorry..."

Steven furrowed his brows.

"Connie...you're acting very strange." He noted.

Connie ended up rubbing the back her neck as she leaned her elbow on the table. This was awkward.

"I...I'm sorry...." She said with sorrow.

She had to come clean. No sense in hiding it.

"I...know you have to go back to Homeworld. That's....it's a fact I have to accept....I just wanted to know...what your Therapist said about it....to see if she tried to convince you to stay."

Steven blinked, being unaware that this had been on her mind since Saturday night.

"Oh...well...turns out when you establish internet comms on Homeworld, they ended up improving the connectivity since Gems really like cat videos...and videos about birds... A bit faster now but I told her I'm able to talk to her while I'm on Homeworld."

The way he said that so...casually, boiled her from within. Why was she so angry about that? She had no right to be. Now she had to be the one pretending....

"That's good." She said as she adjusted herself, forcing a smile that she wanted so badly to be real.

"What about Jasper? What's the state of Homeworld?"

Steven shrugged, dipping a chip in the sauce before eating it.

"Jasper's fine. Comms are still down, so we're gonna hitch a ride with Lars who'll take us back there."

Wasn't he nervous? Shouldn't he be taking this more seriously? The fact that no one was able to get in contact with Homeworld at all was a telling sign that things were getting worse over there. Connie wouldn't be freaking out; no...she was just...impressed? shocked? what ever this strange emotion was, the fact that Steven worded this as a matter of fact in all things dire, was outright...weird.

Steven took her hand, noticing her frown, before he ended up giving her his first smile of the day. The first one she noticed that was genuine. Thumbing the back of her knuckles, the warmth itself, was also natural.

"We'll be okay. Don't worry." He assured her.

He says that and Connie wants...so badly to believe him and everything he says that it hurts her to feel otherwise. How could she let the impending orange sunset ruin her stance? The Crystal Gems would take care of matters and the investigation over Saturday Nights Frenzy Incident was underway...Connie could only but testify, but she was in a sea of a few hundred other similar stories and that Vivi never mentioned Steven's name to the cops...which make this a lot harder to cope with than she realised.

They'd both come to this agreement that they needed to find themselves on their own separate terms while still maintaining their relationship with all the effort in the world. Steven was worth the wait, every single time...that was a solid core within Connie herself that had remained in place for years. Accepted without the effort, but the energy to spend on the one person in the world she happened to fall in love ended up being one of the most important.

How fate deals its hand like that was both lucky and cruel to her.

"Oh before I forget..."

Connie examined him as he went into a bag next to him and pulled out a blue, rectangular box with a white ribbon.

"I got you something."

Weirded out, but otherwise grateful, Steven watched on with glee, his chin in his hands as he eagerly awaited for Connie to open her present. She ripped in due time, revealing the box contained her own Hybrid Console.

"I was talking to Volley and...well...I know Vivi has one but I think you'll do good with one on your own. Comes with a few games."

Now Connie didn't know what to think. She must have had a good look at it for a few minutes. The controllers were light green and light blue, respectively.

"Steven....I...."

Not to say she wasn't touched by the gesture....she was surprised.

"I don't want you to be overwhelmed while I'm gone." He said.

"I...I just want....you to be happy...and I know that I could be gone for a while...and I know with what we've said...and what's been said..."

Now she was beginning to see that side of Steven emerge, bleed out through the slight, shining tears by his eyes, exemplified by the descending sun and his croaking voice. He was worried. He was perhaps scared, understandably so.

"Steven..." Connie said, before shaking her head.

She had to have confidence and trust in him to do the right thing in the end. Fate forced his hand in the wrong direction. She wanted him to be happy too but...

"It's just...I'm sorry..." He muttered, eyes lingering downwards.

No...she refused to let him to do this to himself. She had to tell him he was doing the right thing....this had to be done with confidence within Steven.

"Don't be...hey...smile for me...." She ordered.

Steven lifted his head up, eventually forming one just for her and her alone. He wiped away his tears and tried to finish off the rest of his chips. No...she was going to make him feel good...give him a gift he needed to given in exchange. If he was leaving, then he needed to be reminded what he had to come back to. That his last thoughts on Earth could be better than this melancholic hell. Connie had the confidence in her power to do this at least. Her human power to command and release as she saw fit. Because that was the beauty of being human that she herself could forget...especially after Vivi's rant that she'd almost forgotten the important, life warping ways that only humans could ever hope to provide.

And the way she knew how, required them to be isolated and in a world of their own, only if it was for a little while. Hormones were damning, but it held a motivation.

"Let's head back to my dorm, I want to show you something."

* * *

Vivi had left the dorm to go to the music room for her evening lessons, to which Connie and Steven had the room to themselves for a few hours. Having boys in the girls dorm wasn't nothing new...but Connie did not want him to leave with regrets. Yes, he could be gone for months, years...and Connie steeled herself for that eventual revelation, to note down that if she was going to do anything for him, that she wanted him to just...

The two sat on the bed, their isolation intended. Connie was in the mood to experiment, to forge a world of her order, her control but with Steven, being the prime innocent one here, hardly enacted such a sequence, instead he was prepared to go with the flow. He wasn't ready for the full brunt of it all, so all Connie could do was try something else. Something that came up in one of the art classes. Something she tried to do in the Dondai before but events had stopped them...they always did. He had an instinctive feel about it all though as Connie made sure he was settled, preparing and closing the door and dimmed the lights; only the shine of the fairy lights above cradled their faces and bodies and more appeared as Connie turned on her bed side lamp; she had the lights change color whens he wanted them to, changing both the lamp and the fairy lights pink; it was a thing Vivi did for what ever reason which had her doing in an attempt to trample out boredom. It wasn't any intense pink, but bright enough to alter the mood.

Taking off his jacket, they didn't even need to talk about what was going to happen. Connie subconsciously planned it in a considerable limited spectrum but otherwise, she let Steven do what he desired and she trusted him to understand limitations, but would move the goal posts where required, where the sense of it being just right was the go ahead could be sounded and where they would be content in levelling themselves in the moment. This was their section of the galaxy, brilliant and terrifying and vast, where they had room to explore for the moments they could claim and discover the unknown....

Both of them thrived in the mode of twilight, as Steven moved his hand to her face, holding it as he brought it closer to his. Their shared, known gesture...the way he liked to touch her and the way she touched him was a rarity on its own, even with everyone else he knew, he'd gotten the most out of Connie with her lack of distance.The fact that he kissed her lips which sent electric ripples running through her was telling as to how much he desired this and it wasn't meant to be intense...it was meant to be soft, quivering and not at all subject to lust...but the sensation of love meant to be unique to them. Connie wanted his love...and wanted enough to keep her going. The kisses started off slow, the two leaning into each other more so...the locks quickened, the noises of their breaths via their noses were hastened, popping wet sounds crinkling, clinging to air as Connie felt the breadth of his lips with her tongue. Gentle was the guide but otherwise they were helpless if the other decided they wanted more. Connie, on a whim, decided to try something new....and daring.

With simple gestures, adjustments, shifts, Connie took Steven to the head of the bed and by the blush on her face and by how much he was shaking underneath her, he was downright nervous. He didn't appear uncomfortable, only that he only did what Connie's hands told him to do. With slight giggles from her had him feel a lot better and with his legs sprawled out towards the end of the bed, she ended up sitting on his lap, her weight on causing a grunt to escape him in a split second after. She pushed him back onto the pillow as she made out with him again, tilting her head. One of his hands met the back of her head and another on her back, sliding it up and down. 

To Steven, whom had fallen into this mystical haze that had him possessing a burning gut, a rapidly beating heart and a slight whistle to his nasal breathing, this was incredible. Much more comfortable than the Dondai for one, but...as a whine escaped from Connie, he felt it as wave that went from her own gut that erupted around him, telling him to shiver. Shortly after, she pressed on his chest to sit back, the look on her face something he couldn't describe...a glow, to where Connie bit her lip briefly, then curled her fingers on the bottom of her shirt as she took it off and threw it to floor. His eyes, fixated on parts of her body, her skin that he'd never seen before. She was already so beautiful to him...and his widened eyes trailed her from her stomach, her lovely dark skin, up to her chest where her navy sports bra kept her in and the way her hair dangled down her back, a small strand left hanging by her left collarbone. Her hands were left on his stomach, with her fingers running across his shirt, stretching out by his gem. Connie took pleasure in his perplexed look, the joy in his fascination, the cat on his shoulder there for the reasons Connie wanted it to be...because it was on hers too.

She turned around so her back was to him and shrugged her shoulders while she pulled her hair away, silently telling him to take off her bra. Steven swallowed, locking looks with her for clarification, before he leaned forward and fumbled with the locks on the back. She figured he was just nervous, as he would make the conclusion on his own. After a moment, he managed with a shaky attempt, to unhook the three clasps. Connie then felt his hand touch her shoulder, which to she didn't mean to shiver, it was just so sudden as to how he was willing to do this and she was all the more proud of him for it. Pulling down the straps, she could hear Steven's slight jittery breath before he swallowed his own saliva. Connie took command of the rest and ended up throwing the bra with her blue shirt. He could see the small scar on her back, Steven's mind flashing back to when Bluebird's Cutlass stabbed her gut, triggering memories of the bunker and all that followed. No...he could not allow the leviathan to win this battle.

Instead, he ran the back of his middle and index fingers across her skin, filtering through where the small indentations of her bra had been, then towards the scar where it was the most sensitive, forcing Connie to straighten herself up in retaliation, eliciting a tiny gasp. His finger tips grazed her skin, down, then up in lengthened strokes. Connie herself felt amazed, at how much this affected her...his touch did many things to her and he was generally content with touching her like this. Connie could only know that Steven would have never even had this with anyone else and in fact, felt more honored to be his test subject, to all things physical....the amount of trust was simply golden, unbreakable, shining and beautiful...valued and treasured beyond anything the else the pair had experienced. A level of intimacy Connie had desired for long time...but kept things with a steady pace for his sake...and now that he was doing it, her expectations of Steven being his most gentle, most curious and most fascinated with the way this had been presented to him with such care, such allowance was more than what Connie could ever ask for, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that their love was more simple than complex and she was fine with that.

Though what she didn't expect was Steven taking her waist and dragging her back to him, her eyes widening in surprise as he'd shifted himself towards her, putting her between his legs. What shocked her even more as was that Connie shivered as she felt his wet lips on her shoulder again, holding their own type of grip. The kisses started there and worked their way up to her neck. His right hand went across her stomach first, to hold her in place while the other. ran up her left arm, squeezing a tad where her new tattoo was, before it it skimmed up the side of her scalp, to where he tilted her head to the side so he could start to suckle there; the same exact spot last time too. Steven was content on continuing with what they started in the Dondai. He didn't forget that either. That same spot which had her feeling the flurry of the heat run across her entire body as he worked his magic. She squeezed her eyes tight at the power used against her, biting her lip at the sharp pain it provided...not to mention the way her neck felt the fuzz, the pulse in the neck as he began to make _interesting_ noises...

If it wasn't touch, it was the sounds he made while doing it...a slight broken growl here and there, subtle but extremely effective like rubbing silk on her nerves, and the wet pops and crackles. She'd reached up and dug her fingers into his hair, trying to stop herself from melting into his lap, unintentionally rocking her hips forward in minor intervals.

"Oh... _Steven._..." She murmured under heavy breath....

She was charging up and this made her want more...she had to stop him there...it was getting too much and she hadn't...well, she did but she wasn't well...she wasn't content on letting him do _all_ the work. It was just like Steven to do that. She gently pulled his head away from her, taking his hands off her as she turned herself around to face him, putting her hands by his hips and looking at the confused look on his face, but otherwise he refused to look away from Connie...the redness on his face apparent as he could see her breasts in full view. A sight he should have been prepared to see, but overall, still ended up being quite nerve wracking either way. She wanted him to look and lingered there for a moment, like before, to visually explore the facets of the female form. He would have to get used to it, but really, he may never will...for all the right reasons.

"Was it good?" He said, his voice cracking in the softness, gaining some kind of return to Earth after staring at at another planet for a few minutes.

Connie grinned and nodded. She wanted him to continue touching her for the moment...he was quite enamoured with it all...the best parts were his expressions and the place of such care and gentleness, the patience Connie provided herself was worth its weight in gold. He deserved this. He deserved everything.

"Yeah...really good..."

A smile of pride was all Connie really needed, but his fingers now reached over to touch her front, curving around her left, then right breast in a figure eight with the tips of his fingers, before moving them over her nipples...another shiver unwarranted but she was nonplussed by the waves sent through her once again...he explored what he could, going down to her stomach, seeing the much larger scar by under her right breast. He wished he could have healed that better...but his corruption...it stuffed everything it up...like everything else. Furrowing his brows, determined to see past that, he made another sudden adjustment. Connie jolted in shock, not expecting him to bring her stomach to his lips as he kissed her there, desiring to heal her more that she thought he needed to heal another of his 'failures'. No...it was more on her carelessness, her willingness to sacrifice everything to him. Right now the current sacrifice was sanity, as him running his tongue over the scar itself was doing more to her than she had ever anticipated. She had her hands on his back, trying to grip herself again as he held her against him with his hands on her back.

"Nng... _gosh_..." She spluttered.

She was ticklish there too, which made it all the worst with the giggles interspersed with the cut off gasps she let off. She patted his shoulder for him to stop, but it was a new note to her on another spot she liked him touch and...it definitely made for some interesting sensations from down below.

Letting go, she sat back down and tried to get her breath back. Steven shirked, smiling with nerve. No...that was good...strange but it was fine...better than fine. Though new ideas ran by her this time, as Connie had her hands by the ends of his shirt now. Did...did she really? He was willing, but...she had seen him without his shirt before...outside of a swimming environment however, they were in an entirely different depth of context. Given how warm everything seemed to be now, he wondered if it was just going to get...a bit more humid....

He swallowed and nodded, as Connie took the honor of pulling off his shirt; with Steven sitting up briefly to raise his arms above his head as the shirt came up and off, with her throwing it off the same way as hers. He then leaned back onto the mattress, sitting on his elbows. A blush sprinkled on his face as Connie decided to linger, to contemplate...to know Steven and his form...older, larger. Barrel shaped but she's hugged this many times before and has never been bothered by it and nothing had changed that fact...only for her still fall in love with him again at this type of vulnerability that Steven allowed her to see. 

The Gem glistened under the lights, with Steven's cat still watching on to what Connie wanted to do now. The certain within the uncertain, the mold to be had for her liking, for her to shape. Steven honestly didn't know what he liked. But if anyone were to figure it out, it was her.

So, she ended up tracing her fingers across his body without much aim but it mattered little. Those light touches on their own were quiet potent, and he was quite ticklish himself from what Connie could remember. Minor jumps but nothing too concerning that he never needed to tell her to stop. He could tell her that and she would know the boundary line. Her finger tips traced his gem, cold but otherwise she felt the rhythmic energy pulse from it like it was akin to his heartbeat. An organ so unique to him, a being of solid mass, strong mass...a possible creature made from love...raised with love...but all the bits in between, left in the chaos of everything that had shaped Steven into who he was and allowed him to be who he decided to be.

It was just...a package left in her head that had been opened and closed many times. The ants could crawl, the butterflies would flutter...the swan would fly and the cat would remain hunched up on her shoulder..the lyrebird, no where to be seen in this sacred space, unable to call false voices to the front...to bother them. The Nightingale would linger...

She leaned in to place a slight peck on his gem, then worked her up, placing dots with her lips as she went across his chest, to his own neck...would he like what she had given to him....would he take?  
A criticism not lost on her; the way he would give and give and never take. A generous soul as himself; as the Diamond King. He was...a work in progress in regards to that habit that could never really die, but who was Steven without the sacrifice's he's made already? He was never able to answer.

Bodies shifted to find comfort in the way she laid down on him, her breast squishing against his chest as she felt his Gem on her stomach....such skin to skin contact was beyond anything else Steven had ever had to experience. Steven squirmed as her lips made due with the side of his neck, a rogue hand planted down on his chest as she worked her magic. Connie had never done this at all herself, but when would she have the chance to try? Her mind made its own conclusions based on things she's seen and read. Videos, by-passes...the average human would find those snippets of another life for subconscious inspirations. For him though, he'd been limited, though he was only the basic surface of matters...everything else was either second nature or self-taught.

She loved hearing his heavy breathing under such an influence however....it was fractured and the stuff that came out of his mouth weren't even words. Split second murmurs, with Steven trying to comprehend this feeling...how it worked through him in a similar way to Connie. A warm magic, tingling from the wetness, the absurd textures....it was forming an intense sun in his gut that eventually had his gem blinking slowly slightly from how unusual it was. Not a threat, but it was like his leviathan...how it's spikes waved like blades of long grass in a field as they were brushed by the winds. It was thinking. Steven was thinking...thinking hard and thinking how it was good. Her weight on him, a power on its own like it was an enemy, but it wasn't. Connie shuffling on top didn't help matters, his eyes squeezing shut instead of blinking normally. his head tilting back as his chest pushed forward and small inaudible croaks were all his body could really do right now...

Though he stopped as he felt Connie suddenly stopped moving. Steven opened his eyes, to see her staring right back at him with an intense stare. He gulped. Did he do something wrong?

"I...Uhh...that was...weird...but I liked it." He told her with a grin.

Her eyes went from side to the side first, before she glanced back at him, then gave him a smile. It was too late, something was wrong.

"Everything alright?"

Connie pursed her lips, her eyes were now in deep contemplation, her mind trying to find a sentence to form. Which was strange....Connie usually had known what to say.

"I'm sorry...I...just..ahem...your uh...your..."

Steven furrowed his brows, as he tilted his head.

"My what?"

Her eyes made a quick dip down before she looked at him again, which had Steven widening his eyes in surprise, his face turning redder than it had even been prior.

"Oh...I'm....I'm really...it does that...your um...you must have triggered it. It does that."

Oh Connie knew. It was a normal human boy thing. It happened...it was happening and while Connie would have, in her right mind, known that this would have done something, just not to that extent. Her mind tried to figure out how to resolve this. Then looked deep into herself, trying not to feel the hedgehogs spikes in her chest. She was...on that curtail of the female version...it wasn't normally as...visual as say the males...or the most...physical. Steven looked away, the deep redness returning to his face. She put a hand to his cheek...it was nothing to be ashamed of. It would have gotten to this frontier on the route they were taking at some point and it might as well be an issue to deal with now, while they were able to talk about it.

She shoved her head towards his face and gave him a deep kiss, one that was meant to calm him down...the type of kiss that only Connie could give him...comforting, resounding...grounding.

"I think I'll be gone for a while...but...I don't know.." He murmured in a bashful expression.

 _Annnnd_ Connie would be foolish to think she didn't get what he was talking about. If he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready. Connie did not want him feeling the pressure of feeling forced.

"Steven, I love you too much for you to wreck yourself over it." She told him, putting both hands on his cheeks as she squished them.

"We started off with something simple....we can stop here...or..."

Vivi once suggested much in their...fascinating conversations. She's had her own rich life, rife with examples and opportunities taken with and without consequence. Ever since their first discussion, Connie's somewhat had ideas tucked into the corners in her head, untouched, never used but perhaps one day, one moment could lead them. Old enough to begin but young enough to scrape through mistakes and positive outcomes in order to deliberate their own comfort zones and how they could live on the edge enough to find their way out if it came down to it.

Steven shook his head, his eyes now shining with a steely resolve.

"Hey I'm okay with...well, anything that's not...that." He said.

"But I really want to find out stuff and I'm not scared...I'm cautious."

Cautious about what? Hurting her? Connie doubted that from Steven. If he wasn't comfortable with a position like that then she wasn't going force him however...

"If you really want this, lead the way Steven...just tell me what you'd like to do. The skies the limit..." Connie assured him, though as her eyes dropped, she had to reword it.

"I mean, maybe mountain level but ya know."

Steven understood and gave her a subtle nod.

"Okay, I'm more than happy to do what ever, so... I uh...wouldn't mind...um..."

Connie should have known...again, her fault, not his. She had to be patient with him.

"Show me Steven...just show me...please...and I'll tell you if I'm not okay with it."

Yeah she was still impatient. She wanted to hit herself for being that way with him. What Connie should be doing, is giving him all the space he needed to get his point across. 

"Sorry if it feels like I'm rushing you, this is all new to me as well, but I figure..." She said as she rubbed her scalp, nervous.

"Like with anything, we won't know until we try, right?"

The human concept of trying came around again. It should have been a way that made Connie glad she was human.

"No it's fine, but yeah you're right. I want to try too. I really do." Steven responded.

"Okay...so..."

He stopped himself from speaking any further as he sat up, as Connie slid off him to the right side of the bed, where both of them faced one another on their own sides. A lot of twitching, groaning from the bedsprings as they shuffled about to find some kind of comfortable position. Steven's cheeks were like a calm candle of rosy pink, his eyes half-lidded as he leaned into kiss Connie again. She almost shivered as he put a hand to her stomach and swirled it around where she giggled from how ticklish it made her, but his right hand gripped the left part of her waist and gently put her on her back while he slid her closer to him. His left hand supported him as he sat up, in order to kiss her from above. His right hand returned to her stomach, before it began to dip down further; that elicited nothing of the ticklish sort, but a tingling burn that told Connie what she needed to know. She arranged for her right hand on his back and her left splayed on the blanket.

Fuel to the fire it was; Steven was keen to explore, which was a good sign. Connie could only tell him so much but not to the point where she had to baby him but, communication was indeed critical so she could tell him what he wants and where she wants it if he only but ask. And Connie did like where this was going...exciting, exhilarating with the anticipation threatening to push him to go for it, but her conscience told her that Steven could go at his own pace and his own pace could only be directed by him.

A hand went to her shorts, fumbling with the zipper, its slow whine downwards a noise Connie for some reason found nerve-wracking. It was strange how it was a noise she had heard many times, getting dressing and undressed...but maybe it was because someone else was doing it and the way that Steven was doing it slowly rather than rapidly was much, much more audibly pleasing to Connie.

His hand found itself on the edge of her waist band of her underwear...all the while Connie struggled to contain herself with this type of softness that also felt so sharp. She'd wiggle if it wasn't for Steven's intense kissing pulling most of the attention away. She could multitask but her mind was almost in two places at once. his finger shifting underneath the waist band, diving in at a tempered rate.

Her heart started to beat in her head, his fingers making their way down further. Connie's breath intensified slightly as Steven parted briefly, stopping just shy of reaching the most sensitive parts. The way he looked at her with those eyes so youthful, yet it was also old determination brought forward alongside them, but still looking for clarification.

"Help me....how do I..." He croaked.

Connie could see what he wanted to do, but wasn't sure how to. Again, it had the conversation with Vivi trickle down into her head again...and maybe, on some fronts, loneliness had Connie do her own self-exploration, with the cat on her shoulder to begin with, but then she made it her own because, well, there were more times than she'd like to admit where her loneliness did get the better of her; hormones raging on as they did, a natural reoccurrence. Nothing to be ashamed of...

So, she leaned forward, whispering instructions into his ear. The fact he was asking for help was good too. He wanted to learn and that hit Connie's pride. So it started as Steven's finger ran circles around it, where she began to feel herself being wound up. His growing confidence as he did so, going at the pace he wanted to. Connie didn't mind...in fact, that slow burn was the right kind of painful, his giant finger caressing her clit with such care that Connie's breathing began to intensify again, her fingers digging into the blanket beneath them as she tried to hold on.

His head then buried itself to her shoulder, part of his face in the pillow, for what ever reason. Though as Connie started to whine ever so slightly, had Steven exhale heavily through his nose, his warm breath on her neck. 

"Do...do you like it when I do that Steven?" She asked him.

"Mhm...not sure why..." He mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.

It didn't matter why. All that mattered was that he enjoyed hearing her.

It was different, but if this was the level they were at right now, Connie wasn't going to argue. She could feel the rising sun within pushing for daybreak, the fire accumulating through her form in jaggered pulses; warmth in all the right places and intensity in all the best places. He did pop the occasional kiss on her neck, a bit of an lightning strike that hit the most important nerves. She found herself consciously thrusting a bit, squirming, scrunching and unraveling her toes, stretching like she was trying to find a comfortable spot due to how every stroke seemed to mess with her positioning. 

"Faster...you can go faster..." She whispered in to his ear.

On command, he did so...the lack of hesitation on his front was wonderful...his confidence in her alone, staggering. Connie's own trust in him, not misplaced.

" _Connie._..." He breathed, having moved his head so he could talk to her easier. And Connie liked it when he said her name like that.

"You're _really_ wet..."

She smiled, before she bit her lip to to stifle another whine...she could fell the squelching, the movements, the heat and his finger and the widening that had her want him to delve further if he so pleased.

"That's....that's good..." Connie informed him, squeezing her eyes shut due to the pang of fire that shot through her core.

"Can you...are you comfortable if you just..."

"I am but what..."

Awkwardness was had but it would pass, even with miscommunication. 

"I mean, if you're comfortable with..."

Connie whispered directions in his ear again, which had his eyes widening in surprise, a sweat dropping down his forehead.

"You're okay with that?" Steven asked.

Connie nodded.

"Of course, but only if you are." She informed him.

He appeared to contemplate her words, stopping for the moment. Connie resolved herself to be patient with him, to allow him to figure it out.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it."

A bit more shuffling about, unconscious nerves between the pair as they were about to embark on more discoveries. Leaving her clit, a finger went down further, with Connie muttering with repetition, until Steven found the sweet spot...err...hole.

He kissed her again, syncing it in as he put a single finger inside. She could feel him shaking above her, with her rubbing his back, telling him he was doing okay. She gasped as he went further in, her chest rising up, then falling as he pulled it out. Again, Steven did it at a leisurely, careful pace like before and Connie tried so hard not to tell him to just go like crazy, but relented in not doing so. It was to allow him to explore her and not the other way around. But Connie was still figuring out stuff too so it was a general learning curve for the both of them.

Again, it was the right kind of painful, her fitting him like that was so...contrasting to what she'd expected. She hadn't gotten this far with herself, only keeping it to the light strokes previously but now...this was something else entirely. The fact it was, Steven, super thoughtful, super kind, super generous but entirely super fearful, super anxious and super cautious; doing this to her was a kind of an exclusivity to see a side she's never seen, but could still know its Steven at the end of the day.

While he wasn't a monster, he wasn't only defined by that leviathan...and the type of blessing Connie received in return, was seeing all of his sides that make Steven, Steven. Steven the friend, the best friend, the son, the brother, the Diamond, the Crystal Gem...

The _lover_...

A thought had her shivering in tandem. Sounded more like that a romantic drama that Connie wasn't really all that fond of, but then again love wasn't a bad thing either. A Steven made dictionary would have that definition listed under lover of all life and no other context necessary. An amusingly cute thought if anything else.

But the thoughts themselves began to burn as Connie began to lose her own grip on reality, the inferno within taking every bit of sense out of her in flames. The flickering embers of orange changed to pink in that instant, taking over with roiling and swelling waves like....

" _Connie._.." Steven whined, his voice breaking...her name a trigger for more of himself than that for Connie herself.

She didn't notice that he went faster; Connie's mind on that fringe to focus on anything else, pinging out like shooting stars. She gripped on tight to Steven's back and the blanket as she made took a quick breath of air like it was her last, shaking underneath him under the turmoil of her orgasm, her silent cry in the air the finale of her song.

She laid limp against the bed, trying to get her breath back as the flush continued onwards, but made sure to keep her hand on Steven. A haze had Connie with a goofy expression on her face a Steven shifted upright, removing his finger and ended up examining the wetness on his finger with an ample amount of confusion on his face. When Connie eventually had herself together again, she sat up on her hands, watching with amusement as Steven's expressions changed.

"Well I'll be." He said, his voice a bit on the hoarse side. He then noticed Connie's smile, before he looked away with red on his face.

"I mean, uhh that looked good....was it?"

Connie giggled as she sat up to kiss him.

"Yes Steven, it was!" She said with softened glee, before she tilted her head.

"Did _you_ like it?"

He was hesitant with admission, but nodded as he rubbed off the excess wetness on his jeans.

"Yeah it was...uhh..different...unusual...I mean, it was incredible...those noises you made...I mean I've heard..."

While Connie could listen to Steven all night ramble on about it and she would, because she wouldn't normally mind listening to him talk, right now they had little time to spare when she wanted to return the favour, if he so chose to. She put a hand on his and another on his cheek to get him to pay attention.

"I'm glad Steven, I really am." She said. Now it was Connie's turn to blush heavily.

"I'm happy you shared this with me, a first for everything so...I want to know now, if you...want me to..."

The thought poured heavily into her head now; the idea of her touching him sounded more daunting that it should have been; Steven's intimacy with others touching him had been established with having a much more profound effect; their dancing and thoughts on the other alone had had them accidentally fusing multiple times, but now that they're much older, implications became more..prominent.

Holding hands, a kiss or two. That safety, that assurance was normal and consistent. Connie imagined what Steven really did while they were apart and so far. He thought about her, she thought about him...his day, his activities, finding his human side more and more.

The more humans he could meet and he could talk to, the more Steven would be able to adapt more into his comfort zone. These people wouldn't be under his command...they would be his equal every time and every human would be none the wiser; to blend into the crowd. 

A lot of that went into how she would imagine Vivi's situation, how she would be a victim of her own unplanned circumstances and she had no way to hide what she was. Some people failed to care, others just...Connie could imagine how each persons world would be different for them just on the relevancy of their bodies in modern and past societies.

"You want to do the same for me?" Steven questioned, pointing towards himself.

Steven, at the end of it all, still held the truest power to define his own path in life. A life Connie envied but also respected.

"Yeah, I mean, you can teach me a thing or two...if you're alright with that." She told him.

As they were equals...they were Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran respectively; two lovesick young adults who just wanted to be able to be themselves.

"Uhh sure...okay. Let's uh...maybe you can sit behind me?"

Connie complied with a smile. She was eager to follow his lead with it all and she was going to once more reserve herself to his own desires. Nothing was wrong, or right unless he said so. Moving about on the bed, Connie ended up sitting behind him, noticing the two scars on his back in the faint pink lighting; two uneven strokes from his shoulderblades downwards; to where his spikes must have been. Signs of his corruption as she ran her fingers over them, her mind filtering the reminders of his corruption in progress....the faint white horns that poked out of his hair and the rash on the back of his neck. Nothing else really remained but the set of unparalleled markings.

Steven shivered under her touch, which had Connie retracting out of fear that they were still sore spots.

"Sorry I didn't..." Connie muttered.

"No...it's fine." Steven replied, his smile there but weakened.

"You're not horrified by them?"

No, not by a long shot. But the fact he was worried about how Connie would take it told her that he must have been having body image issues lately. She ended up kissing both of them, left to right, right to left with loving pecks.

"Nope." She replied.

"It's kind of like a tattoo...maybe Vivi can help you if you're not happy with them."

And the way his body bounced as he chuckled, was joy on its own.

"A back tattoo, hah...what would I get? Wings? Cookie Cat?"

Connie giggled.

"I was thinking about getting Lion but it sounded too cheesy. Cookie Cat...keep that small...ankle maybe?"

Vivi would tell Connie about all sorts of tattoos, including the one on her back that she showed Connie once. She wasn't even aware that Gems could even have tattoos but...she's seen stranger things happen. But the image was of a Behemoth; a symbol of Vivi's past struggles. It kind of reminded Connie of Steven's corrupted form but with more muscle and teeth.

"Ehh....I show my feet off all the time. I'll probably end up doing what you did. An arm one looks tasteful." He said.

One day. For now, Connie shuffled herself closer and put her legs outside of Steven's which had laid out across the bed; similar to before but the roles reversed. Connie kissed Steven's right shoulder, her hands on his hips to keep him stable.

"Mhmm...not today, but one day." She muttered into Steven's ear, all the while continuing her quick bodily pecks and sliding her hands under his arms to his chest.

Steven nodded, soon, closing his eyes as he lifted his chin up, reaping in all the pleasant sensations Connie was currently giving him from her touch alone. It wasn't every day he got hold her hand or hug her but when she did, it would bring him back to Earth in the best kind of way. Only Connie's touch was ever this potent and now, the aura of the galaxy that was this room was the only place he wanted to be right now anyway. He figured this kind of thing existed but to experience it was a lot more impactful than he anticipated.

Connie was so gentle, her fingers worked him like they worked her violin; with precision, accuracy and working in tandem as they ran across his chest. His hands were in his lap, but soon fell off to meet with the blanket, the cycle of her warmth, her breasts poking into his back giving their own meaning in response. Steven then noticed her fingers skimming across his belly, filtering towards his Gem, giving it light strokes that responded in kind, giving off small light similar to the ones in the room, brightening the room ever so slightly. An indication of how in depth his mind was...falling into the water, seeing the lakes on Astraea. His leviathan, its nose sniffing out the Sea Snails on the lakebed. (^1)

He wanted to be here...calm, quiet...the illusion of the ocean in his head muffling out the anxiety in his chest...the lack of butterflies or anything of the sort to hold back from feeling the most free, the most unshackled that didn't mean destruction being left in his wake. Destruction, creation...destroying the bad so the good could grow. Regrowth. Beach City regrowing, rebuilding under what had been a disaster.

Magenta clouds...Miasma. Hurt. He was hurt. Connie was hurt...the Leviathan demolished everything.

He made a fist as he slammed the blanket, taking Connie by surprise.

"Did I touch something I shouldn't have?" She asked.

No. She didn't. Steven was going take control of this and let his guard down without compromise.

"Keep going Connie, do what you have to." Steven told her, trying to forge confidence out of thin air.

She nodded, her hands leaving his Gem. Similar to Connie's experience, her unzipping his fly held a similar effect due to context; the whine entering his ears first and foremost. This would be a little bit more difficult for her, So Steven began to fall back slowly, as Connie did the same to lean against the back of the bed so there was more room for them to...err move.

Her left hand was now on his crotch, feeling his hard member underneath the fabric of his yellow boxer shorts which pulsed through him with such immense power than he knew what to deal with, a gasp escaping his lips as Connie rubbed it. He had to know what Connie was thinking, her right hand still on his stomach.

"Hey Con, so...uhh what..what do you make of it?" He asked; insecurities guilty of the exchange.

She stopped kissing his neck to rub her nose against his ear, her eyes closed with contentment. What could she say, really?

"It's different, new to me but... I'm not stopping here." She whispered, her voice husky.

She stopped rubbing for the moment, her hand and fingers running up first, before they went under the fabric this time, with Steven feeling it now even more so as she went across his pubic hairs, finding his reddened member within. She'd stopped briefly, like she was thinking about something. Time froze but Steven's Rabbit was running up and down his back, being chased by the fox. Timidity caused by paranoia.

Fingers moved about, sending spikes throughout. Steven swallowed, such tiny grazes could send out sparks in an alternate universe, but he realised now as Connie began to feel all over in small increments was her getting an idea of a males organ and its design. Connie bit her lip as she hummed, her throat vibrating against his shoulder. 

"I've never felt anything like this before Steven, so don't worry about that." Connie whispered.

"I want you...tell me how you'd like me to handle it...how you like it..."

She had a point, it was...foreign to her but not to him but overall, it was what it was. So he leaned his head back to whisper in her ear, his own instructions. She was a fast learner so no amber light of doubt crossed his mind on how she could handle it.

To Connie, it was...thick? Veiny?...strange, peculiar but could she have expected it any different? She's never done this before herself but otherwise felt a type of thrill as she stroke it with the back of her fingers first, which caused it to twitch under her influence. Steven pursed his lips, his eyes still closed as he kinda leaned into the feeling of the tenderness behind each stroke she made.

Eventually, she ended up wrapping her fingers around the shaft and with the same pace Steven had done before, Connie made slowly steady pumps and maintained that momentum. Steven hissed between his teeth on the sharpness that was only from fleeting agony, which had turned into minor groans, his body popping ever so slightly as Connie pulled him up and down, her other hand now wrapped around his body, holding him close to her as she worked on him.

More sweat down his forehead as the piling up back. His breathing; laboured more and more, bit by bit.

"You liking this Steven?" Connie muttered.

Steven nodded. Connie dared herself to be more forceful, daring Steven to tell her what he really wanted.

"Y-yeah..." He said with a shaky breath.

"Did you want me to go faster?" She asked.

His squeezed his eyes tight, unable to think straight.

"Y-yes...please..."

Such desperation in his tone had Connie really excited to continue, the breaking voice, the moaning, the frustrated growls; such audio Connie never heard from his mouth before; she absolutely loved every part of it. His face went red from the heat growing his form, the heavy inhales and whines from every exhale growing in volume and the slightest of wet slicks...this was exclusive side of Steven, that he'd never had to go into before.

"C-Connie...." He stuttered.

"How is..."

Connie giggled, adoring the fact that he was losing words as she continued. It was naughty as it was nice to tease him like that and the way he too, adjusted himself and thrust upwards out of pure instinct, holding onto the blankets, but then using his other hand to hold her spare across his chest. He looked at her, as she looked at him, the two kissing each other briefly before he disconnected, unable to breath, groaning in the immense amount of pleasurable pain he was now locked into.

To be fair, he knew Connie was the one who would be the more forward in most of their romantic endeavours and he rarely put anything to the front unless Connie said so. Such faith in her he had and the reasons that would be would fill a dozen books or more.

Steven was close now and his mind was unable to find any placement in his head anymore. The strain, the boiling immediate irritation from much like this burned him like the lava on Eezo-5. The power of the heat, the sweat....Connie daring to stay by his side no matter the cost...

Whether it was real or not, the monster in Steven was still there, on his spine, his canines extended, his voice with its new echoed inflections as he grunted and panted and he could have sworn that his eyes were turning black under the influence. Connie took hold of his hand, pulling him back into the realisation that it was all in his head as the final tugs called on the opening.

"C-C-Connie. I'm..."

No words, but an extended whine were voiced as he came...still lost in the illusions of the monster in his head thrashing about, distorting, glitching and disappearing behind a blank screen as Steven reeled from the experience, his explosion of the stickiest proportions.

Relaxing, Steven tried so hard to gain his breath back, but the ripples of the electrical sort still messed with his brain somewhat, reeling in from the strenuous, but rather pleasing moment in time to reflect on what they had just committed. Not a crime, but a private collection of intense charges that they had just shared; learning, growing from being human with each other, understanding the other in a higher tier. Still love with a little less fear and anxiety at the helm.

"Connie.....ffffff...."

She giggled, patting his chest as she felt it rise and fall in tandem, feeling the sweat between her fingers...not to mention the sticky feeling between the fingers on her other hand. It was gross, she wouldn't lie but wanted to accept that it was all natural. She felt him swallow again, patting the back of her hand with his.

"Thank you...I...uhh...that was...something..."

The fact his voice kept breaking under his strained words meant it had been a defining experience for him too. She kissed him briefly, slowly bringing out her hand from his pants. The both of them looked at the mess he made on her, before, they looked at each other with confusion.

"Yours...was a bit different." He commented.

"I'm sorry mines a bit more...messier."

It mattered not to Connie. She was just content with becoming more comfortable with this aspect of him, even herself. Finding those new horizons and finding their own needs and wants; their own journey together.

"Heh, it's not the worst thing in the world to touch, trust me." Connie joked.

Steven chuckled in response.

"I believe you...but thank you for uh...trying it out with me." He said.

Connie grinned. She knew Steven would still be there at the end.

"Thank you as well." She replied.

* * *

The two of them cleaned themselves up with tissues and wipes; with what had just transpired but the scent of their own creation lingered on in there. It wasn't overpowering but it was there. Both of them were glowing as the night went on, though Connie still had that nagging sense to hang on as much as she could. The two got dressed, their minds lingering in departments other than their own, trying to find sense in the newer, complex emotions they had just gone through.

Connie laid on the bed on her back, while Steven laid next to her, on his side as he had his head on her chest, her fingers fumbling in his hair.

"I am kinda scared." He admitted, his voice low.

"I wish you could come with me."

To that, Connie wanted to as well. Better circumstances would have her doing so in a heartbeat but...she had to maintain to the idea he had a better levelled head than he did before. She did not need to look after him and that she trusted that in the most dire of straits, that he would contact her and she would, beyond any shadow of a doubt, be there, sword in hand and ready for action.

"Same." Connie said. 

"But you've got this. You really do. If anyone can do it, it is you. But don't forget you're not alone."

Steven nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

"I know." He said, scrunching the fabric of her shirt.

"I got to do it right. I have to. I promise to you Connie, to contact you whenever I can, I'm not gonna lock you out this time."

Tears formed around Connie's eyes as well, as she couldn't but smile at such a meaningful declaration and patted his head.

"I'll hold you to it Steven." She said.

She wasn't foolish to believe that such a promise would be broken so easily but if he was serious about it, he would pull out all the stops if necessary to do so and if he didn't, it would mean something had gone wrong.

"If not, I'll ride my butt to Homeworld to kick yours if need be."

Steven made a light snicker. He shifted himself upwards to take her face and kiss her deeply. A knock on the door had Connie check her phone to see it was past seven thirty.

"HEY CORNDOG, I'M HOME!" Vivi yelled from behind the door.

His eyebrow raised at the unusual nickname. Connie smirked.

"Eh...it's a new one at least." Connie joked.

She got up to unlock the door as Steven sat up on the side of the bed. Vivi barged her way in with her keyboard, throwing it onto her own bed. She took one at Steven and smiled.

"SCUBA STEVE!" She roared.

"How's it going my lil' pink ruffian?"

Steven smiled and waved to her.

"I'm doing alright Vivi. Back from your musical class?" He asked her.

Connie returned to Steven and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be right back...don't leave just yet." She said before she left the room.

* * *

Steven blinked as he nodded, before watching Connie disappear. He looked at Vivi as she began to unpack her bag, putting stuff into her cupboard. He wanted to know, but he also wanted to ask her to do something for him. To what Connie and him had just done, he felt good, great and entirely content with it...unusual but not unwelcomed. The cat on his shoulder wanted him to perhaps, maybe, inquire if Vivi convinced Connie to do this, but that would be inappropriate. But to him, something with Connie didn't feel quite right and it annoyed him. It wasn't the first time he's felt that way. Bits and pieces followed him for ages after their events on Homeworld the first time around; the signs of her potential...corruption? Would there really be any other way to put it?

She recovered fine, but Connie would never talk about herself and how she felt about it all; putting her mind to him at all times and making sure he felt good. His gift to her was a send off, for sure but ultimately, he was really worried about her. 

"So...you two get up to much while I was gone?" She inquired.

Steven's eyes narrowed. Would Connie want him to divulge?

"I..uh..." He stammered.

Vivi laughed.

"I was joking...but talk to me. You got somethin' on your mind? Somethin' ya wanna say before going on your big throne again?"

He wanted to know how much Connie told her, but that wasn't what he was going to mention.

"Can...can you look after Connie for me? I-I mean, if it's not much to ask." Steven requested, in a way, feeling a bit shameful in doing so. Connie was going to be fine, but the eternal nagging voice in his head, the fox was nibbling at his feet again.

"Sure can. What do ya think I'm doin' right now?" She said, closing the cupboards and standing upright. She turned to him and winked.

"Ya girls gonna be okay with me. I'm still keepin' an ear out on the investigation side of things. But while you're gone, can you do a favor for me?"

As long as it didn't involve more alchohol, then yes.

"Sure, what do you need?" Steven said with a smile.

Vivi then put her keyboard away underneath her bed.

"I've been thinkin', I'm a Gem...and you're one of the head honchos. Do ya mind if you find out more about...me? I mean, why I was made n' all that? If ya secretary gal can't figure it out maybe someone or somewhere on that planet might hold some answers. Def's not finding squat on Earth."

Hmm...it had Steven pondering about that, finding out more on Vivi's origins. He couldn't see why not though. It would take a bit of looking around but he was bound to find something.

"If I have the time to spare, I'll go asking. I'll let you know if I find anything." He said.

Vivi nodded with confidence.

"Cheers, big ears." She said as walked around her bed and sat on it, crossing her legs. Steven subconsciously felt his ear after she said that.

"And uh...I'll tell Con that uh...she needs to spray something after ya have some fun. It stinks in here."

Steven furrowed his brows in confusion at first, before he went deep red in the face in realization.

"Oh...so-sorry if...."

Vivi chuckled.

"Don't stress your noggin." She assured him as she stood up. Vivi approached Steven and gently knocked his forehead with her fist.

"It ain't the end of the world. Besides, you guys are the best things to happen to me in a long time. This is completely minor; amusing to me in fact."

Oh?

"Did...did you tell Connie to do this?" He asked, the cat on his shoulder without warning.

Vivi shrugged, crossing her arms and pondering in thought.

"I told Connie...I told Connie exactly what she needed to hear." She said.

"I didn't mean to put pressure on her, only guiding her on where she needs to be in her life. I figure, if it was gonna happen, she ought to know how to handle things."

It had him completely perplexed. Connie had been directing said things, but only from Vivi's advice? She really was more human than him.

"But I promise to look after her...I don't want her goin' the wrong way ya know, I've seen terrible situations and the last thing I want is for you two to stumble into the deepest shit you can't pull yaselves out of. I mean, I can be there if need be, but when you're new to this stuff ya be prone to be kinda dumb and submissive to this context fixed in ya brain that tells ya to do stuff you wouldn't normally do. Someone needs to be there to tell ya when you're doin' it wrong...ya human...humans do stupid shit all the time without being the wiser. However, if anything, for you two, it would be sheer ignorance rather than intentional."

Such wisdom from her mouth; words that astounded Steven more so from a logical point of view. But Connie was smart. Surely she would know better?

"Connie isn't stupid." Steven told her.

"Connie understands it all way more than me. I count on her smarts and skills to pull us through."

Vivi rolled her eyes.

"I'm not sayin' that Connie _isn't_ smart...but she is prone to mistakes like you or me." She said.

"Don't be afraid to call out people on the shit they pull. This doesn't just go for Connie...for anyone. If ya gonna be leading, you need people to take you seriously. People' rebelling sounds like they don't like the current rules. They're not afraid of you."

The last thing Steven wanted was for people to be afraid of him; it goes against the logic he had set for himself a while ago.

"Stamp your fucking authority, Emperor Universe, cuz right now, ya don't look like a leader to me."

He didn't want to. But...his suit....

"I'll worry about that when I get to Homeworld. I know I have a lot of work to do to get things in order again." Steven told her.

"I'll be able to figure that out."

Vivi nodded.

"Damn straight." She said with a hand salute.

Steven was bit amused it wasn't a Diamond Salute akin to a normal, human one.

"You're a smart one too. I know you are. Connie won't stop gushing about the stuff you've done. Takes guts..."

And a certain Gem in those guts as well.

It was then Connie came back from the bathroom with a smile on her face.

"Keepin' him occupied." Vivi told her.

Connie nodded.

"Thanks Viv." She said.

"Did you tell him I got us both into fighting classes last week?"

No?

"Ah yeah." Vivi said, rubbing the back of her head.

"Keen to do a bit of kickboxing...but the class is a mixture of stuff. I did a few classes back home but I need to keep up my training. If I'm gonna be a Gem, I might as well fight like one eh?"

It was something about how...casual this had become once again...spending most of the night chatting about fighting styles. A friendly, harmless cat on his shoulder wanted Steven to find out Vivi's powers in a weird way. She seemed to be able to fight well during the Frenzy though he didn't see a great deal. Which reminded him much of what he had learned from Jasper on Homeworld previously.

To which, what Steven had learned so far was that he had to be more assertive...taking more initiative rather than be passive to his nature of things, letting it all roll into place as opposed to the requirements that needed him to go out there more so, figuring out what worked and what didn't. A life lesson, surely. Finding himself with Connie, to take that first step in regards to new experiences. He was still scared, but Vivi's point was made to go into his head more so than he'd like to admit. 

What had to be done never always amounted to what Steven wanted to happen, and in some cases what he wanted had ended in disaster before. Ignorance, as Vivi had laid out, resulted in his own corruption previously and he was determined to not let ignorance waste him again. His wants changed into new ideas of what he could try...to what he could discover and press towards to get better results. Fearful in some cases but it was about pushing such fears aside for progression, though him prodding details for why he found something off about Connie was more because had no proof to provide to note his concerns but if what Vivi said was true, she was prone to her own mistakes and that Steven had to be cautious for a good reason.

Maybe it was those sacrifices she's made before that disturbed him the most. It was better for her to remain on Earth, to continue her studies. It had to be. Like it had to be him, in all rights with the current situation, for him to lead where he had the power to.

Right for the wrong reasons. Wrong for the right reasons.

Paradoxes like that.

When it came to their goodbyes, Connie didn't want to let go, as they he stood outside the building with Lion waiting for him as they hugged as tightly as they could. She was worried for him; Steven knew that. It was always easy to tell and he didn't want to be. But he knew why and his words, no matter which way he put it, would never be able to convince her otherwise. 

"I love you Connie.." He told her

But those words would always convince her to try not to.

"I love you too Steven, stay safe." She said.

And those were the last orders he would hear from her, as they parted ways, the unknown horizons on they way as danger loomed ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Needed. Chapter 27: The Lake
> 
> If you guessed the game Vivi was playing was Astral Chain, you were right.  
> Steven found an Animal Crossing Switch for Connie too. =D


	10. The Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been six months since Steven left for Homeworld. One night, Connie and Vivi decide do a little bit of investigating, but not before Vivi reveals something to Connie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may find something that connects this story really well to needed...how? Read on.

Time abandoned her in those months following Steven's departure to Homeworld. She'd gone smack back into her studies and life could have gone as usual if Connie allowed it, but the lingering betrayal her feelings gave her, created new focuses that weren't necessarily taking over old, essential ones, but they lingered as the amber shaded hues she's come to be still confused about.

She never admitted the fact that having Vivi with her during these strange, hollow moments helped her more than she realised. The presence of a Gem with her for most of the way forged new stable lines for to be grounded; a problem that had been ignored as of late. Assignments or projects or which politicians heralded significant changes to environmental policies in which boring years and how they were impacting societies. The topic wasn't boring, but the way they handled some of the topics Connie found the least bit interesting.

But the weekends spent with Vivi became the new kind of something that Connie looked forward to, since the only communication with Steven was when he eventually got himself settled in the Pink Palace on Homeworld and updated Connie with the situation. The Diamonds had since disappeared off the planet, so Steven had to put into a galaxy wide search for their location; as well as the monster Volley claimed she saw within the Throne Room. The clock he had placed there survived, as most of the planet was still in repairs after the Rebellions assault. He admitted that he had a lot of work to do, but promised Connie he'll let her know when anything major had changed.

Well, since then, six months had been and gone and the first semester was coming to an end. Every night, laying on her bed underneath the sea of pink stars, Connie kept checking her phone, face caressed in the blue light of her screen, waiting for just about anything. But nothing. No phone call, no video call, nothing. And that made Connie anxious.

Vivi tried her best to be the friend she wanted to be for Connie and to Connie, she was a life saver. She had been involved the Gamers Circuit, playing a larger variety of games. FPS, MMo's. Connie even held a part time job one of the local restaurants as a waitress when ever she wasn't studying or hanging out with Vivi. Which would have explained how fast everything with gone, with the amount of hours in a day poured in numerous activities. But the end of the semester, Connie was getting exhausted.

Weekends either spent playing games with Vivi or working to earn the cash to purchase a proper computer, with Vivi herself hooking Connie up with some of her mates whom would give the recommendations to build a tower of her own. Even so Connie had sworn she wouldn't do so, but Vivi had Connie hooked to energy drinks. The latter was sensible enough to pace the amount she would drink, but she found herself as the months went on, the tiredness increased and that at some point, she had to work out a schedule of her own to fit everything in.

Work, Play, Study. The three required a delicate balance. Most nights had Connie falling asleep around twelve am instead of ten thirty; every second night spent some MMORPG with Vivi and some of her overseas 'mates' whom hadn't heard from her in years. Hearing the accents made Connie happy that Vivi was able to have others like her after all, despite of their first encounter how she had mentioned that Connie would eventually get sick of her antics.

If it wasn't gaming, some Saturdays were spent with Connie working in the morning, then at night she would spent with Vivi in town at a local club. Connie wasn't entirely keen to mingle with questionable guests, but Vivi had secretly purchased her an outfit that would tell others not to 'fuck with her'

A Saturday night, a week before the semester ended, Vivi had Connie wear a black leather jacket from an opshop, torn jeans and a blue singlet with printed silver shining wings and black boots. Connie didn't really get the point of how that was supposed to protect her; since she knew how to protect herself, but trusted Vivi like she would trust Steven.

Vivi volunteered to her make up; heavy black eyeshadow, straightening out her hair which; as they were doing it in the dorm bathroom, Connie looked at herself in the mirror and could scarcely recognise herself. Vivi put the finishing touches with the dark maroon glossy lipstick and false silver star drop ears. Vivi herself wore a tight, black short skirt, singlet that showed off her stomach and gem respectively, knee high bots and raised hair with hair spray to make her head look like a hedgehog. Connie could only describe the look as, kinda goth.

The club they went to, the Ziz, was a favourite of the local students. The Bartenders were students and the Bouncers were bulky wrestling students. Run for Students, by students. Connie was told not to dare present findings or even attempt to make study there, since this was the only place in town where they were free from the shackles of the pen and paper and numbers that often meant nothing at the end of the day.

The Ziz itself was vast of flashing lights, people dressed like Connie and Vivi. Tonnes of make up, a lot of black with very little colour and girls in tight dresses, tops and skirts and a lot the boys in more casual wear, but relatively respectable in their fashion. Vivi had secured a booth for Connie and herself, telling Connie to wait until she got them cocktails. The booth was rounded with a small silver table and upholstering on the cushions were a deep electric blue.

The reality Connie had seen in movies and tv shows existed as this loud, obnoxious existence with EDM and trance, the bass running through the floor and under Connie's feet. Vivi soon returned with the cocktails; glowing blue under some kind of strange chemical Connie was hesitant to ask about. Connie had been here before and Vivi's connections allowed them to secure a spot every single time.

They would talk about events, although Connie couldn't help but wonder one thing.

"Hey, it's been a while since we've heard anything about the investigation about what happened at Jessie's party." Connie question.

Vivi had leaned back onto the couch as she sipped her drink.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about that." She commented.

"Last I heard, Jessie said someone had spiked the drinks."

The drinks? When was this confirmed?

"But they were in cans weren't they?" Connie pointed out.

Vivi rubbed her chin as she contemplated.

"Yeah they were." She said, putting the glass back on the table.

"The cops tried to figure out what they used to spike em'. Checked the cans back to a company Jessie's parents own; they had purchased a brewery which is down town that had actually produced quality beers before this happened. It ain't no cider but eh."

It was one of those things that had quietly resided in Connie's subconscious but there had been never a clear answer until now. Some would presume food poisoning but food poisoning didn't have people attack each other for no real reason.

"Is the brewery being investigated?" Connie wondered.

Vivi shrugged.

"Bugger if I know." She commented, taking another sip.

"Given the links between the Pharma Fam, I wouldn't be surprised if they paid the cops to shut em up about it."

What?

"How, how could they accept a bribe when peoples lives are at stake?" Connie said, a bit irritated by that assumption.

Vivi sighed.

"This town is run by big wigs who pour scores of cash into Jayhawk. Ask Jess sometime, she'll tell you about the whole kit and kaboodle, about her parents are part of the College Administration's Councilor's Board; those who back the biggest decisions with Jayhawks future."

Connie had been aware of Jessie's parents influences with the College prior to that, but how much of a slice one would have was entirely dependant on how much money you were able to put into it.

"Vivi, a lot of students were affected and hurt, we were extremely lucky that nobody actually died." Connie cried, becoming more annoyed by the moment.

"And yet, this town doesn't care about anything but money?"

Vivi ended up finishing her drink and looking at Connie with what could appear as apathy, but ultimately was really disgruntled defeat.

"Welcome to politics mate. This is what life is like outside of your magical fantasies. Money still holds the greatest power on Earth and humans are but slaves to it."

Explained why Vivi believed humans were stupid to begin with. She didn't have to like the fact that there had been seedy happenings afoot; clues of corruption clear enough but no one brave enough to take any real action. Connie would not stand for it, however. She was different. There had be a reason why those students drinks were spiked. The frenzy that threatened the lives of her peers and Connie needed more answers. She leaned back and crossed her arms.

"Then maybe we need to take a trip to the Brewery ourselves. Do a little bit of our own detective work." Connie said.

Vivi raised her eyebrow.

"Ya shittin' me?" She questioned.

Connie gave a single curt nod.

"I am not 'shitting' you, I promise" She said with the finger quote gesture.

Vivi sighed as she dug her fingers into her cheek out of internal frustration. A habit of hers Connie noticed while she studied.

"You're insane Maheswaran." She said with exasperation.

"But looks like I have no choice but ta help ya."

She didn't have to, but Connie appreciated the offer in any case. There was no way she was able to do this alone anyway.

"I hoped you would say that, McCudden." She said with a smirk, drinking her cocktail.

"Let's go there...right now!"

To say Vivi was shocked would be an understatement...an expression really ever pulled if Connie kicked her butt in a game.

"Fuckin' oath, you are serious!" She called out.

"I thought we'd spend the night together, ya know, our last outing before the semester ends havin' a good time but you wanna spend it with this bullshit that may or may not end up with us gettin' killed?"

Was Vivi actually scared? Connie didn't want to force Vivi to do it but would need her help never the less.

"We only need to find out what ingredient was put into the beers." Connie stated.

"Going through their records, files...surely they'd have something that would have caused the Frenzy to occur. You, Volley and Steven wouldn't have been affected due to you being Gems but for people like me and every other full human, our lives are on the line and I used to be the Queen of keeping secrets as well as I sussed them out."

That statement made the Purple Gem chuckle.

"Hah now you're just trying to impress me." She said with a finger gun.

"Before we do though I need to gift ya somethin' let's head back to the dorms first before we move on."

* * *

Leaving Ziz with Lion, the two headed back to their room, presumably to get changed into their casual gear. A little darker for Connie as she wiped off all the layers of make up she could and tied up her hair. As soon as she got back, she noticed Vivi by Connie's bed. Connie was a bit weirded out by it but she went along with it.

"Take off your top." She said all of a sudden.

Or maybe not.

"Ya bra as well."

Connie wasn't embarrassed...the pair have seen each others breasts before while getting changed. As strangers at first but they got used to it. Some days Vivi refused to leave the room, playing on her computer with nothing but her purple panties, slouching over with her knees to her chest with her head set up telling someone to fuck off as her character got sniped. In this context, however, Connie wasn't entirely sure what Vivi had planned for her. Connie took a deep breath, taking her top off and her bra as Vivi requested. Vivi then patted the bed.

"I need ya to lay down on the stomach for me babe."

Though confused at first. Connie eventually suspected what this was all about, although she didn't see any special equipment.

"You're going to tattoo me?" She said.

Vivi's grin went the widest Connie had ever seen her give.

"Hey, you got the tattoo on ya arm from Sparky. I told you I was going to gift ya at some point but ya never asked me. I mean, I could have waited the next semester, but you've told me bugger all about ya plans so I assume you're gonna head back home or somethin'."

Connie had thought long and hard about how she was going to spend her month long break. Semesters were weird at Jayhawk. She debated, but then decided she was going to visit Steven on Homeworld. No contact in that period had her desperate to see him, remembering the night that they touched each other in ways never felt before; ways she could never forget and lonely nights spent imagining him feeling her like he did, a stroke or two when Vivi was gone on some nights, leaving Connie to realize what Vivi meant by 'flicking'

A lot had developed and alongside her studies Connie discovered more of what she was capable of. What she was as a woman; her emotional and sexual needs made valid and long nights with Vivi's colourful stories with the people she's had fun with over the years. Turned out she had no real preference for gender, but refrained from going in too deep emotionally for reasons she had yet to disclose to Connie. Vivi was the type whom would be free to explore herself in a physical manner, but never ended up finding a longer term partner. Connie never ever tried to dig into that locked away trove of data, respecting those barriers if Vivi never wished to mention them. But she had grown quite affectionate to Connie as a sister of sorts, being able to give pointers where needed. It wasn't all one sided however; there were some classes Vivi had taken up that she had trouble with, to where Connie was able to tutor her on (especially when it came to maths.) and even musical theory (Just because Vivi knew how to play a keyboard, didn't mean she knew history.)

It was then Vivi's finger started glowing blue for some reason. Connie's eyes widened.

"You found out how to use your Gem powers? When were you going to tell me?" Connie teased.

Vivi smirked. She had a knack of surprising Connie, even to this day.

"Ya know when Volley took me back here after the incident? She said one of the basic powers a Gem could use was burning light. Easy to do by any normal Gem, collecting enough light in one finger to create a microscopic flame, enough to singe skin. I practised using it and now I can create this super cool glowing effect. I've tried it on paper, on wood...I've never tried it on skin though so it's just a theory."

Was it even safe to use it on skin? Connie wasn't so sure it was even sanitary.

"Couldn't you just take me back to Sparky? Or use proper equipment?" Connie wondered. Vivi was most likely unlicensed...but most formalities with the purple Gem were thrown the window a long time ago that Connie ceased to care about the technicalities or the legal boundaries especially when it came to Vivi...only she was to do these things properly, safely...sanely.

Vivi shook her head.

"Sparky's taught me in the past about Tattoo Care. I can do outlines but nothing too intricate. So, what do ya want?"

Truthfully, it hadn't been in Connie's head at all. She'd completely forgotten about Vivi's previous offer and she was even surprised Vivi still wanted to do it. Her insistence to get Connie to try new things in her life didn't go unnoticed and Connie felt like she owed Vivi a great deal for just being a great friend to her. Or else she'd go insane otherwise. But it really had Connie thinking. She's looked out the window more times than she could count on those lonely, serene days; seeing the birds fly back and forth on the trees outside, inspiring Connie's subconscious with planted ideas and desires to fly away herself, to where Steven would come through the window and take her away, to some amazing adventure off world. Her studies were important, but she was allowed to day dream every now and then. It was natural.

"Wings." Connie announced, going starry eyed.

"Specifically pair of angel like wings."

Vivi snorted, then winked.

"Ooo nice, nice....a bit on the cliche side but I can work with that. Symmetries a bitch but I'm getting better, plus I think I have a cool design that I've been inspired by recently. Be mindful, this may be a little bit more painful than the first tattoo. It takes a lil' while longer to do as well. Ya ready for this?""

Connie's had worse. She smiled.

"I'm ready."

Connie stripped down to just her jeans and put her other clothes on the chair next to her bed, as she laid down on her stomach. Vivi took off her gloves and threw them back on the desk behind her, followed by her hoodie to where she had chucked that onto her bed. With a tongue out, Vivi was keen as she grinned and rubbed her hands together. She played some kind of trance music on her stereo before hand to set the mood, then jumped onto the bed and put her knees by Connie's waist. She pushed her hand on Connie's head and pushed her cheek against the mattress, then pulled her hair off her shoulders to make sure nothing was in the way. Connie felt her hand softly but firmly onto her spine, below the shoulder blades. Connie had to hold still as Vivi channelled a greenish-blue flame on her finger and cautiously put it to Connie's skin.

Connie hissed as Vivi made contact with her flesh. She wasn't wrong. It was a bit more painful. It was like someone was rubbing the end of a cigarette against it. She felt every curve, every line as Vivi focused so hard she was completely silent for the entire process. The music was more ambient, than trance...ethereal. The beat pumped like a secondary heartbeat, a bit softer however than what the usual songs at Ziz were...they were more harsh and chaotic but this, was a perfect blend, with the long notes played by electric guitar alongside the deep bass. No signs of a rush, but a steadiness, a rhythm Connie could agree with. Her mind could dip away in the realms for that moment, where she dissociated but could still feel Vivi's burns on her skins as another journey on its own, riding like a bikes running around a specially made course. Her mind created colours and hues of blue and purple alongside blacks and whites. It reminded her of the tiniest parts of the Frenzy Incident. Unaware of what she was doing or why she was doing it. Mentally transplanted or possessed by only the feral instinct to fight and destroy everything in front of her.

Was this what it was like when Steven was corrupted? To witness the world in different light? Humans, Gems...experiences their own, like fusions. To be another pair of eyes, another mind to follow. But she still existed. Connie was still there, witnessing it all unfold before her. Young Steven, Diamond Steven, Rose Quartz, Pink Steven, Leviathan Steven. All there. They were their facets of his mind, fragmented and given form into different parts of what made Steven his own.

But Connie could only ever see herself; even as Stevonnie, that part of Connie would always remain. It would always be there. This exhausting existence where Connie did want to live and make things better. There was pain. Searing pain, strenuous pain, headaches....sacrifices for a goal that should have been so clear to Connie but as time went on, it was more opaque.

Why though? This was what she had fought for, so why the uncertainty? the lack of clarity?

The need to fly away?

She couldn't shake off what Vivi told her about the Incident. Humans doing this to other humans. She's seen the terrible side to humans before; hoping to shield Steven from most of those horrors but the reality was, Gems weren't any better. Steven's kindness; one would hope it would inspire the kindness and the golden hearts of others but they've knocked him down in that direction before. People like Kevin, people like some of the boys she's known to stay from at the College...they were some of the horrible examples of humans intentionally causing trouble for selfish reasons, liking their darkened stances in the world.

Those shades of amber rolled around in her head again, trying her patience.

"Oh man I can't wait for you to look at this!" Vivi said with glee.

But...people like Steven, people like Vivi....people like Volley...people like the Crystal Gems...people with hearts full and their lights worth defending with every breath she could take. She was but human, but a human who could pick up a sword and fight with the rest of them. Vivi did question the scars, to where Connie mentioned she was...stabbed there and healed by Steven...and for Vivi to say that the scar was awesome and a sign of a dignified warrior...and for Steven to kiss it like he was kissing her lips, had her feel such potent pride, the warmth of their words running through her form as pleasant as a nice hot shower.

Though only what Vivi was doing right now was as if she was having a scolding one instead.

The session took two hours, to Connie it only felt like ten minutes...only snapping to attention as Vivi put in the finishing touches and got off Connie's back. She felt the string of Vivi's handiwork, sitting up on her feet and turning to Vivi who was beyond excited.

"Oh man thanks so much for being my first victim...I mean, my first try at a geninue Gem Tattoo! Hang on, let me get the mirror from me cupboard."

Vivi ran to get her tall mirror, then went behind her and raised it up behind Connie herself.

"Don't break ya neck, but take a look! I'll take a photo in a sec so you can have a better look."

Connie covered her chest with one hand and tried to brush away her hair around with the other so she could see it better. They were a pair of wings alright...hues of light blue and light green lines stretched from her shoulders to the lower ends of her back. They weren't coventional wings; they were like giant diamonds with tinier diamonds that curled inwards that gave off the illusion of squarish, diamond formed feathers. It wasn't over the top in terms of detail, but enough for Connie to be satisfied.

"What do ya think?" Vivi asked.

Far from cliche, but were actually really nice from an artistic standpoint.

"It matches the bird square tattoo on ya arm. Thinkin' boxes and geometric patterns were ya thing. Kinda like pixels....big giant pixel wings or some bullshit like that."'

She should really meet Lapis.

"I love it!" Connie said with a grin.

Vivi then beamed as she put the mirror against the nearby wall.

"Ooo ooo I want to show my mates on Inspacam. I need to make it artsy though, do ya mind jumping on ya bed for a sec? I swear I won't show ya face or mention ya name!"

Definitely should meet Lapis.

Connie nodded, jumping on her bed and posing as she lifted her hair, pointing her elbows upwards and having her legs to the side. She's seen photos of these things before, using them as reference. Vivi then turned her lights on, giving the orange hue to the room. Vivi then stood behind Connie, as Connie heard her take multiple shots of varying angles. It was then Connie could see her phone going off as it sat on her bed side table...but somehow, she could see the four black squares and instantly knowing who was that was from; dread filling her faster than she anticipated.

"Okay done...I'll alter the lighting a bit but it should attract several thousand likes for my new 'technique' hehe..." Vivi said. She was so giddy and excited in a way that reminded Connie way too much of Steven when he was younger.

The next ten minutes were spent with the aftercare of the application where Vivi had to apply a special cream first before Connie was able to put everything on again. It was a little tender, but otherwise she would classify it as a success in her books. Once she was dressed she checked her phone, curious as to Four Squares message. Opening the message, revealed an interesting...text.

" _The wings of transformation are born from patience and struggle._ "

Now Four Square was being philosophical? Not to mention, Connie had just noted that this had been the first time that Four Square had texted her in those last six months, that it was just another thing Connie had almost forgotten about as well. After all this time. Connie could never fathom what they wanted with her or whether or not they were helping her or making everything worse. She was tired of the stress, that even Four Square ambiguous nature made it all more interesting to her to figure out the truth. The Brewery had a problem with a Pharmaceutical company as a stake holder and links to Jayhawk reeked of definite treachery that held a new stain on Connie's judgement on the whole college.

Vivi quickly got changed back into her standard gear, taking off her make up and shuffling her hair back to normal, pulling down the bottom of her hoodie as she adjusted her clothes. Connie did the same.

"Ya still wanna head to the brewery right?" She asked.

It never left her head, even now.

"Yeah, let's do this!" Connie replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspacam - Instagram


	11. The Factory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie and Vivi investigate the brewery, to find some startling information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces a familiar Gem into the fold!

Sneaking out in the middle of the night was something else. A real adventure and not just going to Ziz to get drunk (well, Connie only ever got slightly tipsy).

If Connie could be sappy for that moment, it was the new tattoo that she got from Vivi that empowered her more so. She couldn't actually fly but it felt like she could. The little sting forced her upright, the posture more straight and proper in the mean while. Not that ever had bad posture, but it seemed to force it more so than ever. The rebelling side of Connie requested her to feel that the pain was only temporary but the endurance would make her tiniest bit stronger in the end.

Just like their little break in down into the brewery. She'd already broken into a hospital with Steven before but somehow this was a lot more daring. Before they'd left, she gotten Lion to retrieve her old sword; in a location that only the two of them knew about. She'd kept it somewhere safe, not on campus of course. Heaven forbid who would oust the girl with a sword? No one really, but Connie didn't want to be dealing the law enforcement of this nature. She could lie and say it made in art class, but that wouldn't stop them from confiscating it anyway.

No...in any scenario that was a risk Connie couldn't afford. Tonight, however, was her time to shine. Vivi was flabbergasted at the fact that Connie had a weapon like this and called it bad ass as Connie told her the story about how Steven and her went to Homeworld and that one of the Crystal Gems who specialised in weapons craft made especially for her. Made her feel like a real Crystal Gem by that point. Right now, she was a Student; a student concerned for the welfare of her peers and the corruption that could endanger many more people. The danger was there, but Connie knew what to do. She packed her bags light with enough equipment for them to get in and out without too much issue, and all dressed in black. Bootleg Robbers was Connie's only description of it all: The black turtle neck with matching beanie and the jeans to match and ordinary runners and black gloves. She never questioned if Vivi on a technicality would have finger prints, but urged her to wear gloves and a beanie at least.

The two snuck out in the middle of the night, with Lion taking the pair to what was called the Cowlick Brewery. The skies were clear as the moon shined on brightly. The brewery was several stories tall and made up cream coloured bricks and tall windows and it was surrounded by tall pine trees. The two silently walked around, crouching as they tread lightly by the walls to find the entrance. There was a second level balcony that could be seen near the entrance and Vivi pointed out the pipe near them. Going straight to the entrance when it had two surveillance cameras. Vivi climbed up first, getting to guttering on top. Connie soon followed as Vivi pulled her up. They slid across the gutter, wary of how heavy they were against something not designed to support their weights, so with caution they hugged the brick wall and eventually, even as Connie's heart started to beat heavily, they'd made it to the balcony.

The door here wasn't locked with a keycard; a simple lock and key was all that was there. It didn't look like anyone used it, apart of the smokers with the occasional cigarette butt dipped on the ground. Connie kept watch as Vivi had her lockpicks; with her saying she's had plenty of experience with breaking and entering for the sake of good (Connie doubted that but didn't press the issue further). Once inside, Connie ordered her to close the door; to leave less of trail of their break in as much as they can.

Once they were inside, they had come across an empty office space. Most of the workers here would process orders and stocks and what not, helping with logistics and other paperwork required to have the brewery run smoothly.

"So...uh Convoy, what are we lookin' for?" Vivi whispered.

"Answers." Connie replied.

Anything evidence pertaining to what happened at the party that night. They could go through documents or...some of the computers were left unattended and one in a cubicle on the end of the room looked like it was still on, perhaps one of the workers forgot to turn it off before they finished their shift. The two went over to it as Connie turned the monitor on. The screen was green with the logo of a cow's head on it. Though as Connie tapped onto it, it appeared like she needed a password. She hit herself on her forehead. She should have expected this kind of obvious wall.

"Darn." Connie muttered in frustration. She felt Vivi tap her shoulder. Connie looked at her, who was giving her a half lidded expression, before Vivi pointed out the post it note on the bottom of the monitor itself. Connie was embarrassed.

"I knew that was there." She said.

Vivi chuckled and said nothing more.

The post it note, 719888 written in red ink, was her savoir. Once Connie logged in, she immediately went on the hunt for anything she could find. Vivi kept watch this time, with Connie pouring through oodles of documents, desperate to find anything that would give her what she needed or to be pushed in the right direction. Reports, files and charts...logs and invoices....invoices...

She checked what she could and skimmed through to find something that would give her the date she requested. Her time on writing essays on her laptop really helped with her WPM so her fingers looked like mere blurs as she integrated herself into the detail; finding out the formats and figuring which invoice was which. She had a few coffees earlier so she could press on, only the anxiety increased her movement speed though.

Instantly stopping the moment the date came up, there were a series of similar dispatches on the same say. Vivi pointed out the address once Connie came across one of them, revealing who ordered the beer, who received the call to process the sale and who went out to distribute. Though that wasn't what she was really looking for. Names, normal human names and faces. Though the one thing that did catch her eye was the title of the batch that was given. 

"From what I was told by a humble friend of mine." Vivi said. If Connie could guess it was probably Jessie.

"The Brewery has three sections that it works for different flavours. We want the generic dry brand that it says here since that's what was clearly ordered. See the 1-A mark here? That's the code for it. So that should be in the first section then. If we can get into that part, maybe there's a list of ingredients that are used and perhaps ordered through a separate section."

How on Earth would they find that? They were lucky with this computer that actually held invoices. Careless of the worker but good for them to be able use it. But it didn't give them a lot more than a general aspect of who called; with the name of being Jessie's Dad and two unknown humans. This looked entirely normal.

"We just need to find what they put into it." Connie said.

"Come on let's...."

They heard footsteps nearby as Connie turned the computer off by holding the power button briefly, as she took Vivi and hid under the desk. Watching from where they were hiding, they could see two figures. They heard a few clicks of a switches which slowly turned the lights in the room, flickering to life. They were safe as long as they didn't come to that specific cubicle. Connie swallowed, her heartbeat increasing once more out of both fear and the amount of adrenaline pumping through her...and the caffeine...and...the taurine.

Whispers became mutters as the footsteps became louder. Two sets from what Connie could observe in the shuffled pace. They stopped shy of somewhere nearby as Connie and Vivi tuned into their discussion.

"Look I can monitor the students for now but I'm just one scientist." Said one female voice.

"I know one Gem who can do the job of ten of you human scientists." Said another, older in tone and more authoritative and held a stiff upper lip.

Connie and Vivi exchanged glances however, realising that Gems were involved. Though something minor snapped into place with Vivi, as her eyes dropped to the floor, her mind focused on something else entirely.

"I gave you the product and it worked didn't it? Now we're suddenly having issues in the products distribution so what's going on?"

This was better than Connie could ever hope for. Vivi, in a tiny bout of rage, wanted out to take these people down, but Connie forced her to stay to allow the conversation to continue.

"The Company's reputation, that's what." Said the human.

"I respect you, Holly Blue...I know you've only been with the organisation a small amount of time because of your experience with humans. But you don't know how humans can track these things down. The police were involved and if it weren't for the interference of one of our members, we could have a lawsuit on our hands."

Connie's eyes widened. Steven talked about a Holly Blue Agate that once served on the once aptly name human zoo. This was something that Steven himself had to hear about.

"I could not care less for suits of law and where they are put." Said Holly Blue.

"My only concern is for the Diamond Admiral himself finding out what we are doing. He is so protective of this disgusting planet."

Her eyes could not go any wider with the amount of shock instilled into Connie at that given moment. The pieces were made too easy for Connie to connect. 

"So I have heard." Said the human.

"He will be dealt with eventually. Right now I've got tabs on multiple students, namely one in particular that's showing promising signs going from their blood work."

The amount of unbelievably testing of patience and surprise was what Connie was experiencing right now...this organisation was testing Jayhawk pupils? Connie was infuriated by that prospect, but respectfully controlled herself.

"I'm only here to take the remaining contents of the product to the next centre that will need it. Why is that stuff so rare nowadays? Can't make more?"

Connie heard Holly groan.

"They're trying, but they're trying to find a off-world centre site that will allow them to gather and use the materials required...after the Second Rebellion incident, getting BYW-3 is impossible since they outright banned the chemical's use and dumped huge amounts to Eezo-5. We're considerably lucky to have a member that was able to chip a decent amount away."

BYW-3? Connie put her hand to her face in shock. This was bad.

 _Really_ bad.

"So I have heard about this infamous incident. From what one of those, what, Aquamarine ones told me, there was an attack on your home planet and it's leaders have somehow vanished?" The human questioned.

So goes the story from what Volleyball had told them.

"Indeed, though I am not sure of what had occurred." Holly responded.

"I'm sure one of your superiors would tell you the story more than me."

In that moment they continued to talk as the human and the Gem walked away, with Holly helping taking some of this content, namely the BYW-3 that was once thought to be destroyed in full, only to be brought back by traitors. It told Connie all she knew about how a third Rebellion was on the rise again; their intent to destroy the Diamonds and reign supreme with not just Gem kind, but Connie could see how humans were involved as well. How deep did it go, however. Connie popped out briefly to see them as they walked down to the production room, noting the human woman was tall with curly blonde hair, a lab coat and black shoes and red glasses. She would make sure that description was wired deep into her memory in case she had to use it. She knew she would in case this got worse and going from the direction it had already been going in, Connie had to double down on this herself. The corruption within the officials had Connie begin to distrust everything around her; forcing her to shuffle her priorities post haste. She returned back to where she was hiding, but then...

She noticed Vivi on her hands and knees on the floor in front of her, shaking with rage she'd never seen before. Her body started to spark with dark electricity and her eyes went jet black. Connie wasn't sure what was going on, but she instinctively put her hand on Vivi's arm, in a way to bring her back and to calm her down, the purple Gem gritting her teeth, her brows furrow with such an intensity that Connie could imagine that she was just moments from exploding. The crackling persisted which had Connie really worried something bad was about to happen.

"Hey, Viv, what's wrong?" Connie asked, frowning.

The Gem dug her fingers into her head as her back popped up. Before Connie knew it a booming wave of energy pulsed out, shutting off all the lights around them. Connie was thrown was back from the brief show of force but it wasn't enough to have her slip off of her feet. It wasn't a gust of wind or an explosion but rather a flow of unseen Gem magic that had managed to short circuit the whole room, maybe even the whole building. Vivi began to pant briefly, then eventually came to. Connie did not want to delay at all, the signs of her anger all too familiar. Without a second thought, Connie grabbed Vivi and took them out before anyone else knew what had happened.

* * *

Lion took them back to their dorm as Vivi sat down edge of her bed while Connie paced back and forth around the room, trying to get the gist of what had just happened. BYW-3, humans Gems...a secret organisation...not to mention Vivi's sudden outburst, although wasn't sure if that was related. Steven had to know this but he hadn't been responding to her texts as of late. He had to have a good explanation especially after he promised to stay in contact her. This got all the more frustrating by the moment, once Connie piled everything together. For now, she looked at Vivi, her head resting in her hands, her elbows on her knees as her right heel bounced up and down at a rapid pace - a tell-tale sign of high anxiety levels. Connie had to look after her first. After all, Vivi had done so much for Connie so far, so it was only right that she would humbly return the favour.

"Vivi, what happened back there?" Connie asked.

She's never seen Vivi in this state before. A complete flip of her personality with the shaking and the heavy sobs in her bated breathing. Connie sat next to her and put her hand on her shoulder. It was then Vivi swatted Connie back with her hand.

"Don't _FUCKING_ TOUCH ME!" Vivi roared.

Connie stood back up, her eyes wide as she raised her hands in defence, only to glance at the teary eyed Vivi; something at the Brewery had set her off big time.

"Sorry!" Connie responded.

"I just want to help."

Vivi's fists opened and closed with slow tremoring fingers.

"You can't fucking help me Connie." She told her, sniffing. Her hand trailed down her own face, rubbing it out of her own internal anguish. Connie felt helpless, but she had helped Steven through this, surely she could help Vivi. Though, Connie looked at the ground, on the belief that maybe being there was making it worse. It was hard to say. Connie could take a walk to allow Vivi to calm down on her own. 

"You don't know me at all....just....fuck off...please...."

* * *

Leaving Vivi to her own devices, Connie left the dorms and ended up finding Lion nearby underneath the tree outside the building. She sat next to him, as he nudged her to give her comfort, sensing her ire in this strange predicament. A whirlwind containing the spiders and butterflies riddled her head in that moment, trying to figure how and why she had become so violent. She heaved a huge sigh and leaned into Lions mane.

Even Steven showed more restraint during his more difficult moments. Connie didn't want to compare, but she's seen him at his worst. Vivi was different. She was normally this casual girl with street smarts and connections that would be akin to Steven's connections with the right Gems. But Vivi was right. Connie didn't know her. She was raised by a mother and a father (presumably adopted of course) and was transferred her from overseas. She was keen to help Connie out but Connie could only aid her so much in Vivi's studies. Other than the brief stuff, she never told Connie all that much unless it was relevant to the conversation but even then, Vivi shied away from parts of her childhood when ever that topic was brought up, instead bringing up Connie's instead. 

"I don't want to choose Lion." She told him, as she looked up at the stars above.

"I need to let Steven know what's going on Earth but..."

Irritation and bile returned to her throat as Connie reflected on Steven's lack of contact. She checked her phone for the umpteenth and surprise, surprise; no message. The silence was really damning. 

"Vivi needs me...I....I just want to understand...but giving her space right now...it should be the best thing for her...right?"

Lion grumbled as he did. Connie understood enough for that to mean something only she and Steven could translate. The reality was, that Connie was asking herself that question. 

"But I also need to see Steven. I think...this break...he has to know what's going here on Earth...."

Uselessness was the overall arch of her own emotions right now, the general function of herself wanting to make things better for this world took priority, but ultimately, if she couldn't help with this, then what was the point of being here to study for no reason...

She hoped Vivi would mellow herself for when she was ready to talk, but...seeing what happened to Steven last time when they abandoned him only served to make matters worse for him overall. Him declining any assistance at all inevitably sent him over the edge and she _hated_ the idea that it could happen to Vivi also.

It might not...but Connie found herself scared of losing Vivi to her temper. But she wasn't _in_ the exact same predicament so she debated in her head on the right course of action to take. But the debate...it continued to rage on and go in circles with Connie never really ever getting to decide properly. She closed her eyes and hoped the realm of her daydreaming would take her away from a moment...the desire to escape and to fly. To hear her wings flap, and her ascension in the skies and into space to be free from it all.

Humans. Gems...bad as each other and those who want to correct the world were the ones where they found the world had wronged them. Giving them the rotten pieces to deal and told to heal the most ancient of wounds; thrust upon them without much as choice granted to begin with. Steven. Vivi. Both of those whom have dealt with the unfortunate circumstances due to what they were. The ants were crawling up her feet again....and the dreams...the chains on her wings. Kept her here. Kept her grounded...but trapped her, imprisoned by ordeals and the localities of an unordinary ordinary human lifestyle. 

Visions of the leviathan returned to Connie and suddenly she had an idea.

"Lion, take me to that Mountain Cave please."

* * *

In that moment, Connie rode the beast to one of the last places of comfort that still existed. That one cave where Steven and herself found some kind of peace. The cushions in the corner of the cave were still there, subject to wear and tear. She'd kept the blue and gold one Steven gave to her at home but it still have her memories of how he wanted to take care of her...making sure Connie was comfortable. Despite his state, Steven had always been there, trapped like Connie in confusion and the anger but also the love and kindness that made Steven who was as an individual.

It was colder than she remembered but Connie couldn't care about it...still in her turtleneck and beanie. She dusted some of the cushions carefully then eventually laid down with Lion. It was dark, save for the moonlight pouring through the cracks in the cave wall. Her hands when in her lap and a smile on her face, flashing back to how the Leviathan Steven watched over her. Connie looked at her hand, also recollecting the geometric lines that she once possessed.

She'd risked the Miasma in order to reach Steven and perhaps, it held the potential to kill Connie and Steven had been so afraid of hurting her and yet, Connie still had persisted in helping him anyway.

Maybe that was the difference....Connie knew Steven enough...but she didn't know Vivi to that same extent. She's been there with Steven, she's learned about certain events from him that once upon a time, he was able to share. His problems were easier to see and at times, did a bad job of trying to hide it all. Vivi was a master of it. You wouldn't really know...and she was more unpredictable that Steven and he was once the master of being random when they were younger. 

Connie could have fallen more maybes...because she'd told herself she'd stop with the blame game...and that she should stop with the maybes and actually do something. Her mind traversed ideas. 

Take Vivi with her?

Take Vivi with her to see Steven. To see Homeworld and to see Gems...her own people. People who could help her understand and grasp the nuances of Gem life more so than Connie would ever be able to. She's only experienced Gem life styles and holding a Gem only when she's part of Stevonnie. Another notch to the list of risks but it was something better than it was nothing. It was the perfect idea...so Connie had to find out a way to connect to Vivi to convince her to follow. Connie was concerned and not angry with the purple Gem. On the verge of caution, Connie took a deep breath. That was, until her phone buzzed.

There was reception way out here?

She looked at her phone, perplexed but noticed it was from Four Square.

_She wants to talk to you._

How...how did they know and why were they only contacting Connie now?

But they hadn't lead her astray so far, this...anonymous messenger. For now, she took one cushion; a purple one with black trimmings and ordered Lion to take her back to the dorms.

No maybe was in her head...Connie was prepared to let Vivi explain herself, determined as Lion warped her back.


	12. The Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie prepares her visit to Steven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reasons that can only be explained by coincidences, I imagine Vivi being voiced by Yvonne Strahovski aka Miranda Lawson from Mass Effect.

Connie _was_ prepared to stay at the Mountain Cave over night...blankets were still around and Lion could have kept her company and have kept her warm and safe. But this was important, however...and while Connie felt hurt by Vivi's outburst, she resolved herself to be prepared in that instance, to try and understand the Gems dilemma, what ever that might be. The last thing Connie needed right now was a close friend abandoning her, especially when that close friend was in dire need of some good talking to.

Hours after the incident and after Connie got the message from Four Square, she'd cautiously returned via Lion and ran to the Room, honestly expecting her to have disappeared but in actual fact she had been sitting there, like she had been in the same position since Connie had left.

She had been crying heavily, her head low as her fidgety fingers and hands handled a scrunched up can of cider. The Cider itself wasn't from the local brewery however, as far as what Vivi had told her. In actual fact it was a import from Vivi's home country, one of the local supermarkets having stocked it for a while. She said it tasted like home on one of their many previous chats about her life back in Australia. That being said, however...she only divulged in the smallest of snippets and a lot of chunks were simply dismissed or disregarded as 'unimportant'.

Connie had every right to be confused about her lashing but allowed Vivi her space to clear her head to allow her to speak calmly and hopefully explain herself.

"I am _so_ sorry Connie." She said, her voice unusually soft.

Connie sat on the edge of her own bed, her own expression sombre. She's seen this before...in someone else, somewhere else.

"I....I shouldn't have screamed at you. You're....you're the last person who deserves to be screamed at."

Connie would accept the apology. As far as they were aware, some people had ended their semesters earlier depending on their classes and most of the dorm rooms were empty as people had already gone home so only so few people would be around to hear Vivi's rants. Then again, some of them did comment to Connie (out of Vivi's earshot) about how strange Vivi can be and for her to be loud wasn't exactly abnormal. What ever classes they didn't share, Vivi could be considerably loud. Which was odd, since Vivi was usually silent in the classes they did share. It was a thought left hanging that Connie never bothered to catch up on, since it wasn't really bothering her all that much.

The Gems fingers dug into her scalp as she became frustrated; gritting her teeth and growling at her own stupidity and lack of control.

"It's okay Vivi, I'm...."

The response wasn't....

"It's _not_ okay Connie. There's too much crap to sort through and I'm weak when it comes to these kinda things ya know? Ugh...and the more I want to talk about it, the more worked up I become and it's fucking annoying the shit out of me...."

No Cat on Connie's shoulder, but more so the human patch of concern became the norm in her spectrum. Vivi was a chatterbox when she could be but her silence could always be the most telling in some circumstances.

"You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready to." Connie assured her, trying to smile for the Gems comfort.

"I'm still your friend."

A heavy sigh escaped Vivi's lips as she wrangled her senses to stabilise. What ever this issue was, it was triggered by something at the Brewery. Connie wracked her own brain as to what it could have been. Holly Blue? The human? Mentioning either could spike Vivi's emotions to unwanted levels. And Connie did not wish for her friend to go through that again, not until she had sorted herself and was ready to accept what ever help Connie was prepared to give. Or anyone really. She could talk to Steven's Therapist...if Steven would pick up his damn phone. 

Vivi's eyes peered through her fingers to look at Connie, before slapping her hands on her lap. Connie's idea to take Vivi with her would definitely be of some benefit; at least she'd be able to find someone, anyone to help understand her situation. As a person and as a Gem. Goodness the similar battles Steven had to take before he got his answer. Even now, it's still not that clear.

"Hey, I was thinking....you wanna come with me to see Steven during the Break? You can see me yell at him from not answering my messages in months."

Vivi chuckled briefly, amused by the concept.

"Heh...gonna give that Emperor a piece of ya mind? Yeah what kinda bf doesn't message his best gal? If you need some assistance, I have some wicked lines ya could use." She offered.

Connie smiled. She didn't plan to rip into Steven that harshly...he would have to just come up with an extremely good explanation; like reception was bad or the internet still wasn't working or he was imprisoned again or something. Surely she would have gotten a message from Pearl or any other Gem she had on her contact list to tell her what was going on.

"I appreciate the offer, but that won't be required." Connie stated, raising her hand.

"Besides, I figure we can help you out with your biggest mystery in finding out what kind of Gem you are..."

* * *

It turned out that Vivi was very chill with the offer, so Connie had to find the most roundabout way to visit Steven. As far as she was concerned, none of the main Crystal Gems even knew he was out of space. One of their last conversations had Steven pleading to Connie not to tell them that he was in space and if they asked, that Jasper had taken Volley back to Homeworld and no one had been the wiser since. Connie was an expert in lying so he could count on her for that handy skill.

The last week was spent with only one other Gem who could possibly (maybe) keep secrets...and that Gem was Peridot.

A reliable source of information if Connie couldn't touch base with Pearl, Peridot would take this in utmost secrecy...so they had talked to one another privately with texts and numerous phone calls; although upon hearing that Steven had returned to Homeworld had her absolutely livid. Connie had to pressure her not to say anything to anyone else. On risk of torture; not really but it had Peridot scared with Connie's bluff anyway. The human needed to take advantage of the Galaxy Warp at Little Homeworld and required a Gem to allow them to be easily transported there safely. Vivi obviously wouldn't know anything about Warp Pads, but she proved she could learn to use Gem abilities if properly taught.

Excitement would have been what had been on Connie's mind if she weren't so utterly concerned about Steven. She tried multiple more times to call and text but still he would not answer. Connie refused to give up, but this was the last straw. Anxious as all hell, the spiders on her neck had her trying to escape their web, perplexed as to one unfamiliar feeling. She would know Steven was okay, but she didn't know. The Swan pecked at her back, calling her to wonder if her instincts were true or not...her gut feeling in that moment telling her he was fine.

He might not be...he could be locked away in that damn cage again. Corrupted, for all Connie knew and she could manage it, but she didn't want to go through the pain of changing him back again. The ideas that the resurrected Rebellion were out to destroy him again were more on her mind. But those Spiders were nibbling on her skin now, her brain wrecked for solid conclusions.

Vivi was, however, keen to explore her origins and roots. Connie instead focused on how she was going to feel through it all...meeting people who were in the most perfect position to help with her needs and desires for the truth and right now, that was the step Connie was going to lock on to for now...what was ever in her absolute power to do...cause goodness knows she's not gonna be needed once they discover that...and upon that thought had Connie fall very ill in that mindset.

No longer needed...

No longer _wanted._..

How did she come to that conclusion so _quickly_? She had no idea but it was disturbing that it had been floating around in her head for some time. Months stuck in rooms and eyes on text on screens and paper, writing, inscribing words that meant nothing at the end of the day. She wasn't a Gem but it had never mattered to her before now.

Instead, Connie shifted that unpleasant feeling aside with prioritising herself in getting organised for the long trip and prompted Vivi to do the same, packing her bags and once the week was over, the two were ready to leave.

* * *

That following Saturday morning, Lion had taken them to Little Homeworld in no time flat and upon warping out, Lion skidding along the grounds within the the centre of town. Multiple Gems walked about, going about their day. Connie couldn't help but smile at Vivi, who was gobsmacked and left speechless on the amount of different Gems that were walking about. So many different colours, shapes and sizes that Connie had told her about. These were her people...these were her kind...not the same Gem type maybe but with more in a group, Vivi was a bit uncertain; unclear in her own head about it all. The Adventure spent in this kind of environment was different to being surrounded by humans. It reminded Connie of when she was younger, more naive, more excitable.

The two hopped off of Lion and could see Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth approach her, although Connie speculated she'd spilled her mouth to them, putting her hands on her hips and her expression turning to that of both disappointed and displeased.

"Sorry Connie, please don't hurt me..." She pleaded in a fluster.

Connie sighed. It could be worse.

"You kept mentioning that Connie was gonna visit and you not mentionin' much else wasn't gonna stop either of us from figurin' it out." Bismuth pointed out. The larger Gem noticed Vivi standing behind Connie, looking a bit unsure herself and unusually withdrawn. The contrast to her usual manner was staggering.

"Heya, Welcome to Little Homeworld, you a new student?"

Vivi raised an eyebrow, then looked at Connie.

"Uh...no...I'm Vivi." She said. The lack of confidence in her tone was staggering. She was so natural around human beings but she was so...different around Gems.

"Connie's mate. A friend from College."

Bismuth nodded, though Lapis had crossed her arms, looking at Vivi with the owl of suspicion on her shoulders now.

"You're not like any Gem I've seen." The Blue Gem said.

Relenting, Connie introduced Vivi to each of the Gems. Bismuth, the big builder who made Connie's sword, Lapis Lazuli, a former terraformer with hydrokinesis and Peridot, a former Kindergartner with ferrokinesis. Vivi inhaled and shook all their hands, a bit too roughly, a bit too shaky for such introductions. 

"Yeah...so...I dunno what kind of Gem I am. It's a long story, but could ya help a gal figure out who she is by any chance?" Vivi questioned.

Peridot rubbed her chin. Surely a Gem would know who they were since their emergence but, as Connie had gone through multiple times already via the texts with Peri, but had to explain that she's been raised with humans as opposed to be made conventionally. The Green Gem held the Cat on her shoulder now, more so. She raised her index finger and grinned with pride, eager to answer their long lingering question.

"More than happy to help!" Peridot answered. She cleared her throat, before making the formalities.

"May I see your Gem?"

Viv nodded, lifting up her shirt and revealing her midriff to Peridot. The Green Gem leaned forward, her eyes dancing about the surface of Vivi's Gem, muttering and murmuring to herself. Then sweat rolled her down Peridot face as she strained her mind to find a logical answer.

"Well?" Connie questioned.

"The make is... _different_..." Peridot said.

"The cuts perfect, don't get me wrong..."

Vivi exchanged a confused glance with Connie, whom didn't blame the former for feeling that way. All this talk about certain deposits and and perfect cuts...surely that was a compliment by Gem standards? Right?

"Can I ask, where were you made exactly?"

Vivi pursed her lips, looking sheepish as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"I...don't know. I was kinda hopin' you'd answer that for me." She said.

It was then Connie could tell Vivi was trying hard not to be so dark about it all. If her outburst taught Connie anything, was that there was this darkness to her past that she'd prefer to leave behind. Remembering that looked absolutely painful.

"Shame." Peridot commented.

"I was willing to go out and look into your hole."

Vivi blinked, then looked disgusted and offended.

"I'm sorry what?" Vivi muttered, standing back.

Connie looked down, and shook her head.

"I told you Gems burst out of the ground. Each of them leave a hole behind." She said.

Vivi was always quick to jump to the wrong conclusion occasionally, the most notable of when she was emotional. Most of the time was she was calm and in control and conclusions weren't always this complex, especially when it came to human raised expectations.

Peridot then looked at Lapis and Bismuth for their opinions. But the both of them just shook their heads as well, not entirely sure of what to make of Vivi. It had Connie saddened that one of the most knowledgeable of those when it came to actual Gem production had no clue either and that their little mystery was going to be unresolved for now. Sadness wouldn't override them, but Connie herself was more disappointed if anything else. 

"I don't have a clue either and I don't really want to say this, also this is probably gonna be the only way to figure it out but..." Said Bismuth.

"But you _miiiiight_ have to ask one of the Diamonds..."

Which was going to be a problem.

"We'll...touch base with them on travels, I'm sure." Connie said, rubbing her arm. Did they not know what happened to the Diamonds? She didn't tell Peridot and as far as what had been known, she wasn't sure of the main CGs stance on this; whether or not they knew what was going on out there for real. She wouldn't want to cause panic at least. If anything, she would leave that up to Steven, who had been more in position to make that decision but...

She said her goodbyes to Lion and to make sure to keep everyone on Earth safe for now, as Peridot talked to Vivi about how to use the Warp Pad, though going on quick glimpses of Vivi's constantly changing face, she looked like she had encountered her professor her Economics class, complete with drool. Steven said it wasn't particularly hard to use the Warp Pad; only that you had to be a Gem to use it. But Peridot was going to give her an example of how to use the Warp Pad effectively...

"Got that?" Peri asked her.

Vivi blinked twice, before she resumed a steady stance.

"Uh yeah...kinda...."

It was certainly a sight to see Vivi trying to at least. Connie caught up with Bismuth, whom had gone on one knee and placed her hand on Connie's shoulder. In Connie's mind, Bismuth had been instrumental in getting everything to work out as long as it had been and she definitely was reliable.

"Don't worry I'm not gonna go blabbermouth what's going on to the others but..." Bismuth said, before she looked to the ground.

"But is it true? Did Steven really go back to space?"

The situation was far more complex than they were making it and Connie maintained her stance to ensure less panic would be spread. Still, Bismuth had a level head herself and could take control of situations far easier than Lapis or Peridot. Peridot could be analytical, but Bismuth was more logical. The debate once more raged in her head, the strain of the decision written all over her face and suddenly stiff but shaky body.

"It...it wasn't like he had a choice." Connie said, relenting.

"I want to say more but I don't...."

Bismuth nodded.

"Okay, so there was a situation out there that only he can handle. I can respect that." Bismuth acknowledged. 

"Meatball can't help himself can he?"

No...no he can't. A habit of the best intentions but not always something that was going to have the best results, no matter how much he endeavoured.

"But we can rely on you Connie. No pressure. Just make sure his heads on straight....and take care of yourself most importantly."

Oh that latter part was easy. It was the former that would be hard to manage but she was prepared for that as well. Not that she would think Steven wouldn't have much control...it was just to make sure he wasn't being hard on himself, first and foremost. She smiled, before the two hugged each other.

* * *

It was agreed that Peridot was to do the initial warp first but after that, the two were on their own. The expression Vivi held was desperate neutrality, though Connie couldn't determine if she was actually scared or anxious...or a bit of both. Either way, Peridot saluted Lapis and Bismuth and warped them back.

Connie's been on warps before and back when she was younger, they were exhilarating. She missed that exciting naive nature her childhood brought her and in recent times it became normal. To say Vivi was freaking out would be an understatement. It was more silent freak out, complete with wide eyes trying to fixate on her strange, glowing surroundings. Galaxy Warps took a little more time than the conventional Warp, but the trips were always minor.

Once they'd arrived on Homeworld, one could see how much it had changed. More open and more traffic, with hundreds of Gems scattered about. Peridot left Connie with a map, just in case she had forgotten her way around, but if Steven was here, she wouldn't really need it. Peridot then warped back to Earth, leaving Connie and Vivi to wander around.

It was a different story with Vivi though, like her personality had done a complete 180. She still hadn't said anything, glancing around, her eyes jumping from Gem to Gem that walked about, all the while Connie lead them both to the Diamond Palace. For all this talk of a Rebellion however, Homeworld looked fine, although seeing those holographic advertisements with a Pearl on the news, talking about how certain colonies were under attack by the Rebels had her concerned, with imagery of cityscapes being decimated in their wake. The Palace itself looked a tad different...taller with more towers around it and ships coming in and out....and more satellites with Earth like designs attached...

Once they'd arrived at the entrance of the Palace, they could see the place was heavily guarded by Topazes, with a familiar Pink Gem that was in the middle of talking with them. Connie walked up to her, listening to her speech to the Topaz Guards.

"Alright you two, no one, absolutely no one is allowed through these doors, understand?" She said, pointing fingers.

"I mean, if they try, you got my permission to poof them....but that's not his orders...just block the door with ya bodies like ya lives depended on it? We just can't have any Gem and their best friends just blunder on in and ruin his work?"

The two Topazes nodded, though then looked at Connie and Vivi behind her. Connie cleared her throat to get her attention.

"Uh Spinel?" Connie put forth.

The Gem jumped in her spot, springing up in a comical way and clearly not expecting Connie to be standing right behind her. Falling back in a dramatic fashion, she quickly got back up and dusted herself down. She looked more...military with the outfit she was wearing.

"Oh good grief, **DON'T DO THAT!** " Spinel squealed.

She certainly didn't lack in the energy department

"Sorry." Connie told her.

"Is Steven around?"

Spinel wiped her face down with her hand as her face stretched with it and it flung back into place as she let go.

"Yeah....ya Connie right?"

The fact that Spinel remembered her was interesting.

"Yes." She said.

"Is there any chance you can take us to Steven?"

Spinel's eyebrow rose up, suspicion on her forefront as she rubbed her chin, then looked at Vivi behind her.  
  
"Perhaps? Who's this Gem?"

Vivi looked at Connie; indicating that she wasn't sure how to deal with this, out of the mill, rambunctious individual.

"This is my friend Vivi." Said Connie.

The level of discomfort Vivi began to show as Spinel stretched herself around it, giving her a good look over was telling. Given the situation, Connie could understand, but hoped Spinel would at least keep her distance. She hummed and harred, basically giving the same stance as Peridot earlier in terms of her analysing.

"Never seen a Gem of your kind before." Spinel commented.

And yet they still got nothing out of it.

"We were hoping to see the Diamonds to help us out with that, but..." Connie said, before muttering that last part.

Spinel sighed and shook her head, putting her hands behind her back as she stood up straight with a big frown.

"Oh what happened to the Diamonds was...devastating...still trying to figure out what actually happened." She said.

"I could talk your ear off about the original attack on the Palace. But...most of the repairs have been done to his design so...I'm just makin' sure ya're not traitors ya know? Can't risk another assault...sheesh...that first one was enough."

There was little they had found out about the attack, even from Volley's telling of events; namely some kind of monster resided in the palace on that terrible day. Which made things more confusing.

"We're here to help." Connie said.

"We have some information we've found of Earth that might be critical to know. So...."

Horrible data at that.

"I gotcha. Info is good...better than those other bozo Gems that haven't come back with squat." Spinel commented.

"Okay, let's get ya to his Diamondship, I'll get yas in. Follow me."

* * *

Entering the Palace itself was considered an honour. Diamonds having spent thousands of years wandering these halls and now they were bustling with Gems going back and forth. One thing Connie noticed was the uniform that the Gems were wearing were very...formal? Military like? Clearly inspired through Earth culture and having Steven's spin on clothing design was definitely inspired. Though it didn't make her feel any better. There was something about this kind of official string of formalities that didn't necessarily make Connie feel at home, but felt trapped on the most subtle scale of some of the bad influences and decisions Earth military's have made in the past. They looked more naval for one, with some the colour schemes hitting dark blues with hints of white, pink and yellow.

Spinel herself had the same colour scheme as she usually did; her shoulders having that padded aesthetic and wearing that darkened pink button jacket and skirt. Serious points were taken away as Connie could still hear the squeaks as she walked. Gems overall weren't high strung, but there was this, straight laced structure, a tone of seriousness that wasn't too serious. An office like atmosphere that was a little more rushed and filled with sprinkles of chatter and Gems walking about, their heals clanking against the hardened marble floors. Very official, hectic and professional in terms of the outlook.

The Throne Room had been redone as some kind of OPs Centre, stunning Connie in the way everything was being utilised to its fullest extent. They had to enter from the right hand side, revealing the rows of stations filled with Gems with headsets and where the thrones used to be was a series of offices and their own separate windows, but there was a raised platform in front of the window with its own fenced off bars. Spinel urged them to stay close, but Connie couldn't help but listen in to urgent comms, Gems from established colonies pleading for help. It was definitely more serious than what was being let on. 

Spinel let them go and told them that he was up in his office and that they could find him on their own. They went up on a set of spiral stairs and into an office with brown wood hues and pinks, there was a familiar Pearl sitting behind it. She noticed Connie right away and bounced out of her chair. Like Spinel, she was wearing a similar set of military like uniform with dark pinks and her own flowing multilayered skirt, also sporting her own headset.

"Oh Connie it's been such a long time, what a lovely surprise!" Volleyball said as she threw her arms around the girl.

Connie's eyes widened, but enjoyed the embrace more so. She pushed Volley back gently and put her hands on the Pearls shoulder.

"Hey Volley, we need to see Steven! Is he busy right now?"

Volley bounced back, pressed her hands together in front of her chest in realisation.

"Oh apologies, uhh he kind of is? I'll just let him know you're here!" She said in her cheerful tone.

She pressed the button on the side of her headset, activating her comms. 

"Steven, Connie is here to see you, oh and Vivi as well."

Dark ideas entered Connie's mind. This was eerily like last time, too much like it for her to be comfortable with. Given how chaotic everything seemed downstairs, she would imagine Steven would have been very busy. She just hoped he was taking better care of himself and not forcing himself down that road...because that road would only went way into a shadowy, inescapable premise.

"Head on in!"

Volley tapped a button by her desk which opened the sliding doors and as Connie and Vivi entered, shifting closed. Examining the interior, there were red couches to the right hand side and a coffee table, white walls with the Diamond Symbol dotted across. The floor itself made of dark brown wood and to the left hand side were frames; photo frames of people he knew...family and friends from Earth. His desk, pink in shades, formed a C shape with his monitors; holographic, scattered across and two normal suede red chairs in front of it. His computer chair was left unattended, with Steven himself, wearing a long blue jacket that stretched out to his calves, blue pants and black boots. He was busy looking out the window, talking to someone over his comms, his eyes focused on the giant screen Connie only realised was there which was focusing on a particular ice world that was currently being attacked. He turned around, revealing his top which had most of the Yellow star on it, save for the pink triangle on the top and one on the bottom.

"Alright if you find that path is too difficult to make because your scanners say its too crowded, that's a good indicator that they're about to ambush you. Retreat back to the centre and find another route. They have to have a weak spot. Get back to Jasper and she'll find a new route for you. Steven out."

The disbelief Connie possessed on how different he sounded talking shop like that; the complex vibe of authority oozed off of him. He might have seemed taller, he might have seemed older, his hair a little more poofier in that glimpse. Strength in the way he held himself, but his smile was still the same as he looked at Connie with those big, Steveny eyes of his.

"Connie! I-I can't believe you're here!" He said as he raised his arms. He ran over as the two hugged each other as he practically almost squeezed her to death; he was definitely a little bit taller; detaching himself so he could kiss on her on the cheek. Steven then noticed the silent Vivi behind her and greeted her with a wave.

"Oh and you brought Vivi too! How are you finding Homeworld?"

Vivi smirked and shrugged.

"It's uh...it's big." She commented.

Steven chuckled.

"Sorry for the delays, I've been neck deep in work lately."

Which was what Connie had been afraid of...Steven falling into that workaholic mode again.

"I leave the big ops to Jasper but sometimes she's not reachable so if they're in doubt they contact headquarters. Which....happens a lot." He said, a bit sheepish with it all.

"But come walk with me, tell me about College! I'm dying to know what's been going on Earth."

It was weird seeing him chirpy like and not sensing that once known, too known repression in his feelings. For once, his outlier appearances were in line with his interior; a genuine belief in his voice and confidence in himself was a lot like how he used to be. He took Connie and Vivi around the paths of the Palace, with Gems that wandered by either saluting in a mixture of Diamond, general hand to head salute or even a wave; he didn't care how they did it, as long as he could see the grins on their faces that they were happy to see him was all he really required.

The sense of his authority, watching over his Gems like their Guardian Angel was not to dissimilar to the way he handled things on Earth. Now he had the emotional maturity to match with his stature, but he wasn't meant to be imposing. Steven never really was. A gentle giant would be what you would call him although he wasn't that tall. Connie felt that inner shame that she was originally on the concept of him totally struggling...not to say that handling a rebellion was a struggle on its own but seeing him in a healthier manner was something she was not expecting. Connie knew Steven had this habit of keeping things to himself and that nagging thought in her head would not let it go that he was; that a part of him hated what he was doing and constantly sought that freedom once more. But here? He was with a purpose and he was going to make that purpose mean something. He let Volley know he was going for a bit and to get in contact with him if they needed anything.

* * *

Their travels through the palace halls had them chatting, as Connie told him about College; then as they continued to walk, they went a balcony that overlooked a giant shipyard; with new interesting ships under construction; especially a giant pink one in the middle. Shining, gleaming...impressive.

"Woah that's awesome." Vivi commented.

"Head of the Fleet I'm guessing?"

Steven nodded, putting his hands to his waist and possessing a big grin.

"It's been in production for several months now. She will be ready very soon. I just don't have a name for her yet."

Something that would be able to traverse the stars with relative ease; Steven commanding it would be nothing like Connie had only ever seen in stories and games.

"What about The Leviathan?" Vivi suggested.

"Biggest Beast in the Sea of Stars."

Steven rubbed his chin, contemplating Vivi's idea.

"Hmm. I like it. I'll put it up with the list. Most popular right now are Diamond Dementer and the Rose Nova."

Of course there was a poll of options like those.

"The ones not chosen will probably end up being the names of the smaller ships in the fleet."

Was the situation that bad?

"Does fighting the Rebellion necessitate having a fleet this size?" Vivi queried.

Steven sighed.

"Kinda. By the time I took command of what forces I could, the Rebellion by that point had already taken several worlds; some had their own ship construction yards and so I figured..."

That he'd make his own. It was only logical.

"That ya'd fight fire with fire? Figuratively speaking?" Vivi stated.

Steven nodded.

"Yeah _prrreeettty_ much." He said.

He better not have been doing this all on his own. Though it would explain why he hadn't been talking to her. He'd been so damned busy, but even so, it shouldn't be an excuse. Connie wanted to reprimand herself for thinking that, since technically had no obligations, but she was his girlfriend and that warranted for some kind of contact...especially after he'd promised her he would continue to do so. Right now, Connie felt a bit selfish but at some point her feelings were valid too.

"It's kept you focused." Connie said, as she overlooked the balcony herself; scanning the giant ship in its entirety.

"The blueprints for this would have been tedious to map out."

Steven chuckled.

"You're not wrong." He said.

"But there are Gems who are experts in interior designs. They worked really well with explaining parts to me and the reasons why they would function well in certain situations. Heh, even each room had its own separate blueprints. Hundreds of em needing my approval. That part took at least two months on its own."

Countless amounts of Gems going back and forth; critiquing and so forth. Connie would think some of the human parts required work as well. Not all Gems knew how humans functioned.

"But I'm glad its almost done. I'm eager to see this thing fly. Did you know that Lars was the one who came up with the idea?"

Due to him 'owning' a ship? Connie shouldn't have been surprised. Lars was said to be a gamer too. It was then Vivi tapped Connies shoulder, whom had her arms crossed and was making faces; reminding Connie that she had tell Steven something. She hoped he wasn't going to react badly, however.

"Hey Steven, before I forget, I came here to tell you something important; important to your mission..."

Vivi turned her back to the pair as Connie explained how the two had been looking into the Frenzy Incident and had infiltrated the Brewery after the police results turned up with nothing. And upon hearing that Holly Blue and a human were working with the Rebellion on Earth, the sheer mention of BYW-3 froze Steven instantly, his eyes widening in the recollection of his own previously painful transformation and eventual and inevitable corruption.

"Holly Blue...should have known but..." He muttered.

"BYW-3 was used in the Frenzy Incident? This is bad. Gimme a sec..."

Steven frantically went to his comms, talking to Volley about giving some of the factories a check. Most of them were booted back up after his return and Volley made sure to triple check the production after last time. Seeing Steven this fearful after doing so well was jarring. Connie still wanted to help, however. Botched up batches of beer akin to critical food sources being spiked was never a good thing but for Steven it would always dredge up bad memories. And if what they had said in the Brewery was true, they were aiming for one particular student at Jayhawk whom had shown some kind of promising signs. 

"None of the Crystal Gems know I'm here, right?" He asked Connie.

Looking down, Connie couldn't look into his eyes and rubbed her arm. The only other part he didn't need on his conscience was the main CGS being alerted to his state. He was so worried about how they would react but right now, Connie had to tell him some truth.

"So far, only Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot know....only because I needed their help to give you this message...since I figured the reception was bad here or something..."

Steven nodded.

"I understand." He said.

"I might need your help to investigate this group on Earth then. Humans being involved makes things more complicated. But I do happen to have an imprisoned Rebel Gem in custody right now. Jasper had been trying to get them to talk but it's not working."

This had been incredibly important to him to get this resolved. But he didn't happen to look worse for wear for all the hard work he'd already put into it. How he was managing this was beyond Connie's own expectations.

"I've wrung answers out of people before." Vivi said, stepping in.

"Need me ta strangle the bastard?"

Steven raised his hand shook his head.

"No no violence is required." He said, he then looked at Connie.

"I'm grateful for you letting me know. Besides, I work alongside dependable people now. They've been instrumental in getting all this to flow out better and a bit easier than I thought it would be. I'm not gonna throw myself into the deep end like I did last time."

In a way, this was still the deep end. But he was still keeping himself afloat this way.

"Besides, you two just got here. I have time to spare now...so I might as well treat you...and Vivi, with the best of what Homeworld has to offer."

* * *

It was very sweet of Steven in the way he wanted to take care of them. The amount of respect Gems had for him was immense even outside of the Palace. Most Gems that weren't in mission specific roles were allowed maintain their lives in peace. The place was well protected, as Steven was more than willing to indulge in the hundred or so questions Vivi had about Gem life here, namely the food. Gems didn't need to eat but once they had an interest in food they were allowed to experiment. With interest, Steven had imported a lot of foods from Earth and had what planets that allied themselves to Homeworlds cause that weren't under a direct threat grow more food. Steven himself even had a taste of some of them....results were...mixed. But he allowed them to try and put in his own opinion and suggestion...being a food fanatic himself once upon a time.

Steven's own place in the Pink Palace was left untouched from the last time he was there. Though he travelled more often so he was barely there besides his usual allocated eight hour periods resigned to sleep. Behest of his therapist, he made it mandatory for himself that he would only be awake for about sixteen hours per day and that only to wake him if there was an emergency. Thankfully, that was a rare occurrence on its own and most days were generally spent approving details and overlooking missions and so forth.

He was so enthused to cook a meal for them both as they got to the Pink Palace, wanting to cook them a nice steak dinner (tofu based steak mainly) and that this...room, filled with warmth and the nicest of homely touches with more plants definitely had an ease of comfort added on to it, although Connie herself felt a bit off for some reason.

There was literally nothing that Steven was doing wrong at this point. He was pulling all the stops for himself and for others and there had been little to argue to and for. So what was bothering her? Their talk at the dinner table had Vivi a bit more chatty; examples of her being able to talk to another human as opposed to Gems that she hadn't gotten used to. 

After Dinner, Steven had to respond to call from one of his Gems on another world, he excused himself for a while and said he'd be back, leaving Connie sitting on the balcony outside of the room to watch the sunset. Homeworld had little to no weather, but overall the temperature could only be described as decent.

"So...what do you think?" Connie asked her.

The two were sitting on their own seats, watching the stars coming into view on the magenta skies...the tranquillity of the night making itself known.

"Of Homeworld? It's alright." Vivi replied.

Connie wasn't sure if she was being truthful or not.

"You can be honest." She said.

"You don't like it? You think it's boring?"

Vivi shrugged.

"Nah...I'm not sure what to think. I was raised on Earth so it's like, I'm the alien here ya know? But then Steven was sayin' how Amethyst was raised on Earth the same way but for her, all her life she's known she's a Gem."

In ways that can only seen from a Gems perspective. Realisation and actualisation doesn't actual change everything you know...just alters some existing perspectives.

Steven pointed Vivi's similarities to Amethyst too. Connie didn't really connect the dots unless she really thought about it. But Vivi was her own person and held her own philosophies.

"I was expectin' to feel at home...but I don't. These Gems, these people hold truer lives than me. I'm at this silly crossroads, it's in a way I was happy to leave Earth to find people like me...but right now, there is no one like me."

Spiders crawled up Connie's legs at the moment as she said that.

"What do you mean?" Connie wondered.

Vivi slouched over and lit up a cigarette as she stood up and leaned against the balcony ledge.

"Volleyball couldn't define me. Ya mate Peridot couldn't define me....seems like...each Gem as you say has a purpose; a design for their lives. Rubies are naturally guards for Sapphires who are seers. Quartzes are soldiers and Pearls are servants. Even in this new Era that Steven helped shape most of these Gems still hold similar roles...because they like doing them. But me? No one knows what the fuck I am and what I am designed for....I've tried dozens of things in my life and none of them hold a longer term interest."

She had a point. Steven would tell Connie that some Gems were inclined to work in a way that wouldn't be too dissimilar to what they designed for in the past. There were always exceptions to the rule but otherwise they could do these things because it made them happy. Vivi was simply trying to find her purpose that would make her happy. 

"Did you want to go back to Earth? It appears you're a bit uncomfortable being here overall." Connie noted.

Vivi inhaled and exhaled the smoke out of her nose.

"Nah. It's not that." She said.

"I'm scopin' out Gems that might look like me but so far I look like a nobody. I'm not part of the Elite squad....so I might as well be a nobody."  
  
Connie frowned. Surely she wasn't. This just had Connie feel like she wanted to figure it all out all the harder. Once an idea ingrained into Connie all too well by Pearl, until a certain someone said it wasn't a good mentality to have...

"But ya know what, that's fine. I think, I've been doing this for a long while Con and I figure, this is just...new right?"

Again with the uncertainty. It was both of them, being lost in this waking existence that thrived on two rules, old and new. One to hold purpose and one to hold happiness. Finding the perfect balance was always going to be difficult.

Connie could never admit that finding such balance was as such, even within the crux of her studies that was indeed meant to encapsulate both, but recently, those floating specks of doubt, the orange shades on the horizon were beginning to consume her without warning.

"Wrong...it feels like...a more fantastical version of Earth culture through rose-tinted glasses...while we're a nobody; Steven is far from it. A ruler, a prince. Gifted as such. We are but the uncommon of the common folk. I've come to accept such insignificance of my own life."

Looking at the ground, she felt the same way before she met Steven. There was always this manner that he had that made you feel important, that you were special. Connie, however, couldn't rule out that Vivi was right in a strange way. She was a nobody and deep down she was a somebody. Someone who had helped Steven, who Steven loved in ways that he couldn't give anyone else.

"Being something else other than a human no longer matters. I exist as my own light as you exist as yours. We could be like those stars in the night sky that shine bright, but then burst, flare and die when our time is up. Petals that fall off a rose, signifying the end of reason."

Or the end of sanity. But then Connie found herself asking a question, one of many, she'd never asked Vivi before.

"You say you're a realist, but....you're more a pessimist." She said.

"Have you.... _always_ been like this?"

And this was influenced by Vivi's outburst at the Brewery. A notion lingered on within the depths of Vivi's being that called to darkness more than it called to the light. The negativity that oozed from words crafted like art, reeling in the shadows of her heart for Connie to see.

"Kinda..." Vivi puffed.

"I just don't want to be dragged down that path like I'm being used ya know? I hate being taken advantage of...a purpose shouldn't be for the sake of purpose but fuck...a nobody stuck in a realm of somebodies of their own forged reasons for existence. I thought, I would have my answer here in this place where that there wouldn't be any room for doubt."

And Connie's issue wasn't an answer, but a question. Those shades of orange within her body roiled and swelled with everything else, the foam itself causing more discomfort than anything. But she couldn't help but left to think and wonder...Vivi did not like being used...she's never a point in her past where she's mentioned it as a bad moment in her life. She wanted to pry, before Vivi interrupted her with another topic.

"But goodness, you're chosen by the Diamond Admiral himself...royalty chooses his heart to be in your hands and to me, that's pretty fucking special."

Connie chuckled, feeling her cheeks go warm.

"I think it is." She said.

"I suppose, yeah...I am lucky."

Maybe she was more a realist than Connie was originally lead to believe.

"But I know there's somethin' not quite right Con. With all of this. That chemical bullshit used against our peers. Steven's right...we need to figure out what the fuck they're doin'. This don't include just Gems anymore. Humans are in on it...and my gut tells me that it's been around for a while."

Humans had been identified as small fry against the magical, immortal Gems. Fragile, soft...considered weak and were underestimated with legitimate reasons. Vivi's telling of humans being idiots was sort of right. Not all humans were stupid, but they could do stupid things. As well as Gems. Gems could be just as dumb in their decision making. 

* * *

Steven had returned from his call shortly after, saying it had been another call on another OP. It would require him to journey to the planet in question; namely a familiar one; Eezo-5. Connie insisted on tagging along, wanting to see what the Volcano planet was like now. He'd said it had been raided by Rebels recently, with ships being sighted in the area but on a very small scale so he was going there personally to investigate. He later commissioned some local Bismuth to construct Connie some proper hightech armor to protect her from the intense heat and one for Vivi as well, only needing their measurements for the matter.

Part of Connie was supposed to be glad that Steven still trusted her to tag along to very important missions and what Vivi mentioned stuck with her. But that crevice in her own heart called to reasons that she couldn't read and she tried to suppress that as much as she could, deeming that nagging feeling as irrelevant and unimportant for now.

They were go there in the morning...when Steven was able to take the ship after his mandatory rest period. So he had rooms set up side by side on the opposite sides of his room for both Vivi and Connie individually within the palace so they could rest easy for the night until Volley would come to wake them up one by one.

The room they were given was small but had all the comforts of human needs. An individual bathroom and places and drawers to store their things. It was good for him for to accommodate for them but...

For one, Steven needed his beauty sleep...but Connie felt lonely in the sheets of her bed. Comforts for humans but nothing comfortable about sleeping on her own. Connie had brushed her teeth and had gotten into her pajamas, then snuck a peek into Vivi's room to see she'd already been fast asleep; one leg left dangling off the mattress and somehow already entangled with the sheets. Just like in their dorm.

But no...Connie felt anxious, the riddles of electricity creeping up her spine and tightening her throat with the way she tiptoed to his room. Climbing the stairs ever so softly, Connie opened his door to see him sitting on the edge of his bed, looking out towards the night sky. Honestly, she was more surprised that he was awake.

"Steven?"

He turned his head to her and smiled. A smile she was always weak for.

"Oh hey Connie, can't sleep?"

She shrugged. 

"Something like that."

She sat next him on the bed, then grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. Something was up...but she was content with sitting here with him and letting him take the reigns.

"I don't always get the eight hours you know." He admitted.

She didn't want to assume, but she suspected...

"How are you coping here? I mean, you weren't exactly excited to come back."

Steven rolled his head around, as Connie heard the crack in his neck.

"Some days are harder than others...some decisions...it makes me think that I could do what would be expected of me...but you'd surprised how many Gems are eager to go out to the front lines without any hesitation and I remember...this what Gems were used to. This was what they were made for."

Steven abhorred violence but this was what was required....months spent dealing with a problems because no other Gem would be able to take it on like he could. His tears, his frustrations legitimate over a choice that was made to seem to be an obligation...erasure of choice in the way things had panned out. He could have been a guy who worked in a fast food restaurant or a guy who worked on a farm. Connie felt his hand squeeze hers as she returned the gesture, leaning in and wanting a kiss. His lips softness as they had ever been, with the hint of that tiny shaky nerve that never went away.

"I've been trying to contact the Diamonds in my sleep...but I'm getting nothing either. Every night and I don't want to give up."

Typical Steven, works hard even when he's not supposed to.

"But I'm really glad you're here. I missed you so much."

His tenderness and the guard he could let down around her and Connie absorbed that side of him, like she needed it like water, breathing in his scent like oxygen. He was still there. No matter what he wore, no matter what shape or form...his adventures would take him all around the Galaxy and he would be someone, somewhere. Always. They pressed their foreheads together as Steven touched her cheek, and within due course, the two were laying on his bed as his head rested in the crook of her neck.

"But how have been things, really? With you...college been stressful?" He asked.

Yes and no. Her mind had been transfixed on issues going on with the College, Jayhawk and Vivi. How could she explain her growing discourse with it all? Being here...crazy as it was, she preferred to be here with the logical, the solid...these Gems weren't traitors...following his leads with both loyalty and love...and respect. But the doubt had her with the spiders, the ants and nightingales around her head, chirping in ways that had her thinking too hard to warrant the illogical. The fallacies of humans the dredge of such, providing her spiders with sustenance.

"It wasn't that bad...at least until recently." She said.

"Students are being targeted by this...organisation Steven. I'm worried for them."

And yet, she was here, protected, made to relax and to feel good...and the butterflies trembled in the light of their own making. His fingers made their dance on her chest, dawdling like the way the words travelled out their mouths. Tired and lifeless.

"I'm worried about it too, but I'm confident we'll figure it out." He assured her.

"But right now I'm worried about you Connie."

Connie paused. What?

"Me? I'm fine." She said. 

He sat up, then reached over to his phone on the side of his bed. He went through it and showed its screen to Connie who sat up as well.

"I've been getting these messages every so often. Are you sure?"

Connie squinted...it had been a conversation between them both...but Connie's side had different pictures...of birds...and a trail of pixelated feathers on the ground leading to a bed.

"I thought it was some kind of thing you were doing for art class or somethin'. I was liking the photos until I saw this one."

She hadn't been aware of sending any kinds of photos to Steven other than maybe her face and the occasional selfie with Vivi. But this one she didn't remember doing it all. A mirror....Connie's distorted face, her eyes jet black and a green liquid pouring out of a tap and feathers scattered around the sink and a snake slithering atop the mirror itself. It looked like the dorm bathroom. She furrowed her brows, trying to figure it out. To say the spiders were crawling up the back of her neck now....

"What does this mean?"

This didn't look right...she didn't recall taking any of these pictures. At all. Most of her pictures were paintings...normally bright and colourful. But these were dark, dreary and damp.

"I...I don't know." She stammered, her eyes wide. Steven looked at her with deep concern.

"Steven, I promise you...I did _not_ send that message. Here I'll show you...."

She took out her phone and checked her messages....no...they were there too. No, they weren't there before. In no way...she would remember taking pictures like these. She would be sure if she did...photos of colour and warmth...not these images that would strike a chill down ones spine in an instant.

Only one explanation.

"It was Four Square. It just _has_ to be." She said.

Now Steven had the spiders on his head...the perplexing nature of his girlfriend saying some random name sent some flags his way. 

"Four Square?" He said.

It only came to Connie that she never told anyone about Four Square. Not even Vivi. She said nothing, her focus lost in the storm of her own thoughts rummaging about for the logic to all of this.

"Connie, _who_ is Four Square?"

Hands fell into her hands as she shook her head, frustrated over how irritating this had become. More questions, less answers. Uncertainty in the certainty and now reality was escaping from her with facts she could not provide.

"They're...I don't know." She said.

His hands took hers and tried to give what comfort they could.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Connie should. But she didn't.

"I...I don't know...but all I can say is that they've been messaging me at times..weirdly....ever...ever since that night in the motel...they've been talking to me..."

Okay, this did sound strange that Connie had never really followed up on this. Why though....

"You've been talking to some stranger that somehow got your number and you think they've hacked your phone?" He queried.

"Okay, we-we can have someone look into your this..we'll use it and...track them down? Right?" 

The quiver in his tone, the look on his face as he so badly wanted to help Connie with this dilemma she had been ignoring for months. Six months and no other questions were being asked.

"I'll put the Eezo-5 visit on hold for now...or I'll get someone to scout....I'm not going anywhere until we figure this out together, understand?"

No. He couldn't do that. She didn't want his help like that. Connie was resolved to fix his problem and allow him to do what he had to as a leader. He had a responsibility and was learning from previous mistakes. He was doing this so well that Connie didn't want to ruin it all for her sake. That would be bad.

"Steven don't...I'll...figure out something with Vivi. I'll head back to Earth...do some more research into Jayhawk and its obviously murky history." Connie assured him, a desire to keep him on this path that he had set himself without going into the all the messy detail that had been going on with Connie lately.

Steven frowned.

"You don't trust me?" He questioned, his voice almost breaking as he almost in tears.

It...it had nothing to do with trust. She trusted him implicitly, but the way things had been...his mental state was of the human fragile kind. That damnation of how emotions could be warped in the whirlwind of gooey human brain. Right now, she was confusing him as much as she had been.

Connie had less faith in herself.

Too much of a reminder of the way she would slave over in her own efforts to protect him, in any form her had taken. Here, his skin was clear, his heart was pure and his smile was warm. Right now, her skin was sweaty, her heart was shrouded in twilight and her frown was cold. 

How long had this been going on for exactly? She endured the chill to show him a smile.

"Of course I trust you." She said, touching his cheek...

"You have a lot going on here and...I didn't want you to worry."

It was his turn to frown, but touched the same hand that held his face.

"You know I'm going to worry anyway." He said.

"Stay here with me tonight Connie, please. I...I believe you when you say this might be done by some random third party...but please, please, _please_ don't hesitate to tell me these things. I have the resources to get people to look into it...and I want to get them resolved."

A habitual desire to fix matters remained Steven's decree. It was who he was irregardless of circumstance. Connie didn't like him taking the important parts of his role to solve her minor issues. He took this much more seriously than Connie anticipated but she should have expected his reaction in all honesty. He protected her from Pearls more harmful aspects of their training; to get them to be the team they could be. Right now, the butterflies remained nearby, the guilt of what he had stated piling up behind her...she should have trusted him.

Although was it more that she didn't trust herself?

And why she didn't question or look into Four Square more closely...anything like that was worth looking into just as much as the reappearance of the toxic BYW-3 or the mysterious Organisation working alongside the rebellion and that sort to do some variant of harm to Jayhawk Students.

His hands were on her shoulders now and his eyes drilled into her eyes as Connie struggled to maintain eye contact; the shame of her inaction and eagerness to shove things under the rug only serving to make it worse.

"Okay I'll stay." Connie answered. Her eyes eventually locked on to his as a smile of relief washed over his face. He sighed and let her go, but not before taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

"I'll come with you to Eezo-5 tomorrow. And I will help you. Then we'll look into Four Square together. Is that okay?"

Steven nodded.

"Perfectly fine with me. Thank you Connie."

The two took the silence of their love into the night, snuggling up with one another in the cusp of the night to share their respective warmth, falling into the requested bout of slumber..

Even so, not long after Connie had placed her phone on the side of the bed, screen facing it up, it flashed orange briefly as a pixelated feather fell from the top of the screen to the bottom with a text from Four Square fading into view:

**1/7 Feathers Collected.**


	13. The Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven, Connie, Vivi and Volley visit Eezo-5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More call backs =D

She hadn't slept a great deal that night with the amount of chatter her own internal voice was giving her. The softness of the dark shaded pinks, the kindness the silence brought and with Steven there with her, his tender breaths as he laid on his back, his hands on his chest with the blanket halfway up. There was a version of peace Connie envied that was written on his chubby face that she would normally adore. It would be the expression that was supposed to bring comfort and a sense of ease; a rare sprinkle of hours that could spent in his warmth, his spirit existing there with her to allow him to share it all. It would have been fine, even welcomed in normal circumstances.

Eyes that remained opened, struggling to stay closed but the chaos that kept her up was their earlier discussion...the disturbing images Connie had never seen before...and her spouting out Four Squares name in the heat of the moment was really all Connie had to grab to make sense of the nonsensical.

She checked her phone again and the messages; everything that Steven had shown her was there, where she could have sworn were not there before. The only logical explanation really was Four Square; the mysterious messenger that had been lurking around for months.

Why now though? Why were they doing this? Connie had constantly tried to touch base with Four Square but had no such luck in identifying this individual as to how they were watching her; why they were watching her through her phone. Now it had Steven worried about Connie when it should have been the opposite.

She'd looked him every few minutes, every ten minutes, every hour; Steven was indeed, fast asleep. No sliver of a nightmare; no struggle in the combat that was his own turmoil. What had changed in those last six months without Connie to help him? How did he get this far?

Being proud of him being able to manage it all with more deliberation, with caution and care was what Connie should have felt, but she didn't. What he had told her the last time he was running things in mentioning that it wasn't her purpose to look after him kept ringing back like an old text message. He was absolutely right in that respect. It wasn't Connie's job to look after him. But she felt obliged to. He had done so much for her in the past that helping him out as his best friend was something Connie did by default; since he would do the exactly the same for anyone.

It didn't stop Connie feeling the straight up ire but she couldn't source the reason for how contempt she'd become. It wasn't right. A feeling that was misplaced but Connie had it anyway and she didn't want to. Steven had been dealing with Little Homeschool so this was just that...just a much, much larger and grand scale.

* * *

The following day had Steven made preparations to head to Eezo-5. Volley was tagging along with them and helped prepare the special suits to help Connie survive the heated environments, just like their last visit. Volley had one made for Vivi as well, just in case and Volley had her own. Similar in design, with blue, purple and pink variants respectively. A tighter fit, as Volley explained that the suits themselves were improved with special armour plating to protect them. The Chests had Stars with the Pink Diamond insginia in the middle of them; signifying their allegiance and 'special ranks'. Connie had strapped her sword to her back as well...it would see some use here, she was sure.

Steven was more of a less, paranoid of things going wrong. While he was out, Volley had taken them to the Diamond Leg Ship while Steven would return shortly to make sure he had everything ready. Standing by the base of the feet with their gear, Volley explained that he had to oversee a lot of security overhauls, such as inspecting what Gem was with what group and their general history. While Era 3 warranted some basic freedoms, better measures had to be taken to ensure that the enemy didn't get the upper hand. Control had to be implemented and Steven ensured each Gem under his command was one, up to the task and two, were willing to follow his command to the letter. Connie could imagine Steven loathing to do so; practically it was a fools errand to get everything right to begin with. Especially after Era 3 started and the ensuing argument after argument to find the right balance. Impossible for a percentage of Gems to follow but Steven would say it would be only take a matter of time to fix.

If only it was that simple. Reality would be the most powerful and not everyone would be happy.

To Connie's horror Volley also revealed the potential catalyst of this new rebellion;

"We found security footage of a Ruby heading into the Prisons and releasing some of the Rebellion leaders." Volley mentioned.

That could only mean one thing.

"Bluebird..." Connie muttered.

"And Emerald...and Baseball..." Volley said with sadness, her head lowering down.

So it was true. 

"So you just...let someone down into a dungeon and they let someone free? What kinda racket ya running down here?" Vivi criticised.

Connie remained silent as Volley glared at the purple Gem... a look Connie had never really seen from her before.

"The problem has been resolved. We've put in new procedures to make sure that _never_ happens again." The Pearl iterated.

Vivi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, amplifying her sass as she turned her back.

"For an empty prison I presume...tell that to the echoes left behind." She said.

The Gems weren't perfect and neither were humans. It would be far too common for incidents to occur before new rules and policies would be to prevent such tragedies to occur. Now it was all about who would be willing to follow those rules after being handed old ones and clinging on to them for so long. She was surprised on how most Gems were adaptive, but some were not.

* * *

Once Steven had returned, the four made their way to Eezo-5. As was before, it was still a planet covered in volcanoes, a sky in eternal darkness with the clouds and storms turning it into shades of black, grey and dark reds and maroons. Upon its red, dirty and ashes surface, they'd come across the old disposal facility that had been reactivated in recent times. The old rebellion icon had been removed and the facility expanded. Though, like last time, there wasn't anyone here.

Vivi made jokes about how this reminded her of several games and movies and took a few shots of the place with her phone, thinking she could get some wicked shots to show off to some of their school friends back in Jayhawk. Connie was surprised on how...not serious she had been taking this and was in the zone to think it was some kind of holiday. She sighed, walking beside Steven as they entered the facility.

Wide, tall...empty. The vacancy had been disturbing more so than the first time they were here. Well, first time Connie was. Volley explained that they booted everything up again and did indeed had increased the guards here but not by much.

"Why would they target this place again? There's nothing else here but burning trash." Steven wondered.

His eyes were tracing around the place, though, as Connie examined him, watching him as he began to tense up, she wondered if he was flinging back to the past again. He shivered, eyes closing as he took the first steps into the main area.

This was where the Diamonds had been poofed by Bluebird with one of Leviathan Steven's spikes; he must have felt the energies flow through on repeat; sensing his Diamond relatives temporary demise one by one in flickers of multicoloured, sparkled smoke. Connie attempted to grab his hand, fearful of him relapsing in a sudden recollection of horrible memories, when instead, he walked forward to the closest window to check up on the tall volcano.

"Volley, I need you to go check out the logs. See what Gems have been here and point out to me anything that matches up with our suspects list." Steven ordered her.

Volley nodded, immediately going to closest console and working her magic. Connie was stunned as to how much control Steven had on this and the flow of orange shades around this place seemed a little more brighter than before. 

"Suspects list eh? Got ya targets down pat?" Vivi questioned.

Steven lowered his head.

"A few. The numbers of the rebellion are far higher than it had been before. They're a little more organised this time around, but we do have a range of those we've identified as the Most Wanted..." He explained.

The most dangerous, such as the aforementioned Bluebird, Emerald and Baseball.

"Jasper and I had created it using old records from the Prisons. Made identifying them easier. Finding them? Not so much." Volleyball said.

"There had been a short time frame where some fled to the colonies and registered themselves with what ever local workforce would take them."

It was then Vivi laughed.

"Are they _that_ dense?" She questioned.

"Honestly, they might as well had taken selfies and plastered the photos every where with the words, 'I'm here on this planet, come get me.' Pff.... Dumbasses."

She was right, in a way, though, again, Volley looked like she had taken offence to it, going from the displeased look on her face. But it would be optimal for them to hide in the shadows, until the time was right to fight back. Question was now, how organised were they?

"If what Connie said was right, however...that they had gotten BYW-3 from here, then maybe a lot of the Gems here were traitors to begin with." Steven said with a bit of falter in his tone. He'd leaned against the window with his arms across, his eyes closed as he appeared pensive. Steven thought a lot, but Connie had hardly witnessed him that deep in thought...or at least, him posed like that. There had been many changes and this wasn't even the most glaring of them that she'd noticed.

"Volley, find anything useful?"

The Pearl rubbed her chin, then shook her head.

"Nothing here....but there were Ruby Guards stationed here...but no Sapphire that they were serving." She said.

That wouldn't tell him much. There were dozens of Rubies in existence and Steven was only after at least two.

"What about that random moving square thing over there?" Said Vivi, pointing to a console in the corner.

Everyone else looked at the corner at a shaking black block. Steven furrowed his brows, looking at Vivi, before walking over there very slowly. He looked at the group and raised his index finger to his lips to tell them to remain silent as he tiptoed over. As he got closer, he could hear hushed whispers repeated the same words in hastened sentences. He squinted, before jumping in front of them.

"Aha! Wait....I know you!" He called out in surprise.

The Gem stood up, clasping her hands to the side of her head as she bent a knee, giving Steven a sad, innocent look. He noticed the Gem on her stomach and her entire manner.

"Navy? I haven't seen you since..."

Navy?

"Oh...please, please...don't hurt me!" She pleaded. The Ruby went on her knees and shuffled herself closer to him, to where as she tried to get closer while she begged and prayed, Steven took a few steps back, wary of the Gems premise.

"I....I was with the Management and s-s-suddenly, boom, all the Gems working here...had mysteriously disappeared!"

If it was a necessity like oxygen, Steven would live off of scepticism as the next essential resource. Not since the last time Navy tricked them. Not since her follow Ruby fused with Aquamarine in their attempt to ruin Steven's life. 

"Yeah, as if I'm really gonna believe that." He said, brushing her off.

Navy shook her head as she started to cry. Connie could identify those kinds of crocodile tears anywhere.

"Please, I need your help oh gracious Steven Diamond!" She continued, now grovelling at his feet.

Pathetic. She was resorting to titles now?

It was then Vivi stormed over and picked up the Ruby by the sides of her hair and stared her right in the face, analysing her from head to toe. Navy....and Steven himself, were surprised by the suddenness of Vivi's actions.

"Oh man, this tiny Gremlin?" Vivi said.

"Mate, ya acting skills are shocking. I've seen better shows at the footy between the Crows and Freo. Here's a thought, how bout ya skip the porkies and tell us everythin' ya know. No bullshit, no running around like a chook without a head and get on it with it, will ya. I've seen goon bags bigger than you."

In that moment as Vivi started sprouting her words that absolutely nobody in the room understood, Connie cleared her throat with a fake cough to clear the air. Navy even looked at Steven for clarification, who then shook his head and stood next to Vivi and made a face palm.

"I love the nickname though. Ironic. It's like callin' a tall guy Shorty." Vivi acknowledged.

It took Steven a good moment to try to get what she meant, he then whispered into her ear that it had nothing to do with colour, but more a less to do with the fact that her Gem was on her navel. It was then Vivi shook her head in understanding.

"Ah soz mate. I get ya. Clever bugger. Unlike this Gem version of what appears to be some kind of Garden Gnome."

Connie wasn't sure of if she told Vivi the real purpose of Rubies but again, Volley obviously did not like the language that was pouring out of Vivi's mouth.

"Right, let's get back on track." Said Steven.

"Navy, we know you set Eyeball and the rest free. We saw the footage."

This would be a good time to interrogate. Connie felt powerless as she could only but watch as Steven attempted to get what ever information he could out of her.

"You must know where they're hiding."

Navy smirked. There was no use in pretending anymore.

"Oh...well, ya know, they're doing their thing and I'm doing mine..." She said, her sweetened voice all the more tiresome and irritating.

"But ya're not getting anything out of me...not one tiny, itty bitty bit!"

Though now the cat was on Connie's shoulder again; how exactly would Steven get her to talk? He sighed as he walked behind her and took special handcuffs out of one of his inner jacket pockets. They lit up with pink circles that locked Navy's hands behind her back to prevent her from moving or attacking.

"Volley, take her back to the ship and put her into the brig." Steven ordered.

"We'll have Jasper do _her_ thing...isn't that right Navy? We're all just doing our thing aren't we?"

It was definitely...off-putting to say on how Steven's threat seemed out of his character. She knew he wouldn't be able to land a finger on her but...Jasper would have no such qualms. Harm would not come to Gems if he could help it, but in his own words, he would have no choice. She watched as Volley took Navy from Vivi and dragged her back to the ship. Steven requested Volley take Vivi, but unusually, Volley insisted she did not need any help with imprisoning the ruby, with Vivi herself aloof about the request, preferring she look around the area more before they leave.

"I'm just a small fry Steven Diamond, you wait...they'll be after all of you. Hahaha!" Navy cried out with the most ominous looking grin on her face.

* * *

They took that moment to continue to examine the area for clues of the disappearance of the missing workers. Vivi scanned around, as Steven and Connie stayed by a window.

"I only remember partial moments here." Steven said. His eyes went in and out of focus, lingering on the top of the nearest volcano as he held splintered flashbacks.

"I remember feeling...sad...angry...and in a lot of pain...but...that could have been said about my entire corrupted experience ya know."

The hints of his hurt were tossed in the embers of his words. 

"But...no one actually told me what happened. I think...I know I saw you..Volleyball....and the Gems...Emerald, Bluebird, Baseball and a Lapis."

A tear ran down his cheek and dropped to the floor.

"And crying...a lot of it."

It was a moment Connie would not have forgotten even if she tried to. Locked in that cage and the eventually descent into the throat of the volcano itself. Connie had sacrificed much to ensure his survival and he for hers. Including her own sanity.

"I want to ask Volley but...I can't do that to her...and I can't do that to you."

Nor would Connie want to. But she would comply if he would ask. It would only be right. But it would seem that he might need to...if he was ever looking for that kind of closure.

"But my Therapist said; that I might have to..."

For what reason though? Connie couldn't fathom what he would do or how he would react if he knew the truth...and such moments returned to Connie in full force with such power that it caused her just as much pain as well. She almost saw him die in front of her and now it was busy swimming around in lava pools in her head; too hot to handle as to whether she wanted to tell him herself. 

"That pain is a part of me. A part I had to accept back then." He continued, his focus still on the volcano.

"I need to continue to accept that what happened to me is a horrible thing. And you know what the most interesting part is...is that she reminded a lot of when Garnet was telling us how to handle our feelings when we're Stevonnie ya know...it's just that...well..."

He was drowning in the sea of butterflies more so than Connie was. Her problem was minor compared to his and that only scratched the surface of his own issues that had Connie realise more was going on that she originally believed.

"How I handle that Leviathan is up to me."

And how Connie handles her own...monster? Should she call it that? She was in a lot of pain too, but she could barely acknowledge it when she had other more urgent priorities at hand. Especially when it came to making sure Steven was okay, even when he was a monster. He pulled through for her and she would allow him to use her as anchor to sense, to know that as long as she was there for him, Steven would be okay. Her own issues be damned. But right now, she wasn't sure she herself was ready to take that step to talk to him about it...she hadn't even told Vivi everything...only bits and pieces and a vague description of events in short stories.

"I don't know Steven...I would rather....maybe wait until we're done with this. I don't think its appropriate for us to discuss it while we're here." Connie told him.

He turned to her with a confused expression.

"You're...never mind..." He said, shaking his head.

"But...Connie, I said what I said last night. Do not hold back on any bit of important detail. I appreciate you being here for me...but I want to be here for you too, ya know. I'm not that fragile and you're too important to me to let yourself be swamped with burdens...I'd hate for you to go down the same path I did."

He said that in a way that sent up a shooting pain of annoyance up her spine that she absolutely detested feeling. Connie did not want to be looked after in that way. She could handle it just fine.

"I'm not being swamped, I promise you." She said with a forced smile.

"College is College. You can ask any student, even Vivi how hectic it can be. It's nothing new." 

Steven smirked.

"You're a tough one Connie...one of the hundreds of reasons why I love yo-"

_RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

Their attention was soon focused onto a giant bird mutant creature that broke one of the nearby windows, sending glass flying everywhere. On instinct, Steven threw up his shield to defend them both, checking out the bird itself. It was a red one with it's Gem on it's back, an elongated giant beak and four sets of wings with pink feathers.

"Is that...a corrupted Gem?" Connie queried as she brought out her sword.

It certainly looked like it. Vivi was left dumbfounded by the creature.

"Yeah." Steven confirmed.

"There's been reports of them on multiple worlds. Not sure how they're spreading everywhere though."

And without the Diamonds they had no solution to cure them. Only thing they could hope to was poof them, bubble them and eventually find the Diamonds to heal them within due course. The Red Bird then started firing laser blasts at the crew, as Vivi eventually ran behind them as Steven shielded the group, deflecting the blasts. Connie could swipe it, if Steven lifted her up with his shield.

She told Steven her plan, who then took them to other side of the room. He ran forward to grab its attention and then knelt down to put his shield above him. As he did so, Connie ran up and with the boost of the shield, jumped on it as it shot her up high to swipe it...and just as she was just about to hit it, a shade of orange blinded her vision.

~~F I N D Y O U R O W N L I G H T~~

A whisper she's heard before...and memories of her dreams flash before her eyes...right before she felt a blast of something hitting her back and hearing Steven call her name as she fell. Coming to, Steven jumped up to catch her before she hit the ground, as he took her behind a nearby console to make sure she was okay. The armour protected her, but it didn't stop Connie from thinking how she failed to strike the corrupted Gem.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, pedantic.

Her eyes were wide. She wasn't a coward and she wasn't weak. She was a bit disturbed and a disoriented but that would pass.

"I don't know what happened, but let's do it again. My alignment was off. Plus I'm a little rusty...it's been a while." She said with a smile.

Didn't stop Steven from worrying about her. Any excuse her subconscious could create would do.

"Uh...okay..." He said, not entirely convinced.

"Let's....huh?"

They heard Vivi's cries (and her swearing) as she had picked up a nearby console with a her bare hands, her newfound strength stunning both Steven and Connie as she had somehow ripped the rectangular object off the ground and held it above her head with barely any effort.

"Think fast shit head!" She roared.

She threw the console towards the bird, colliding with it entirely and it sending it to the ground with its hefty weight. It wasn't enough to poof it though. Connie disconnected from Steven as she jumped over the console, jumping up and digging her sword into the Gem with all her might, screaming as she forced it in as deeply as she could, eventually destroying its physical form. Its Gem then fell to the ground, as Steven eventually came around to pick it up. He checked it out it with caution..it's square shape very similar to a Rubies if anything. He nodded as he talked to the Gem under his breath, before he ended up bubbling it and sending it back somewhere safe.

Vivi approached them and dusted her hands, seemingly very pleased with herself.

"Oh man that felt good..." She said with the biggest beaming expression.

"Being a Gem definitely has its perks!"

Steven grinned at Vivi's statement.

"Yeah it does." He said.

"Well done! I think you handled that pretty well. Good job!" 

With such a compliment came a very strong, non-sarcastic salute from Vivi herself, welcoming the respect.

"Just doing my job sir!" She said.

* * *

The fact that Steven had said nothing to Connie personally after that as they headed on back to the Ship was a sign that he didn't want to push Connie as to letting her explain herself properly. He must have known she was lying about why she failed to hit the Gem when it was in her sights and her range. She felt anxious, the butterfly on right shoulder as they silently returned to Homeworld.

Volleyball had taken Navy to an interrogation room at the Palace as Steven called on Jaspers assistance as to seeing whether or not they could get anything out of the stubborn Gem. He never went to go see what she did, taking it as it as 'out of sight, out of mind' and trusted Jasper to do what she had to get what they wanted. It wasn't always a pretty process, but she does have a high percentage rate of success so she had to be doing something right...morally based or not.

Meanwhile Connie had returned to her room; as Vivi had requested from Steven if she could explore Homeworld a bit more; he gave a special pass to allow her to go on tours and explore her heritage. After all, they couldn't forget their other reason for being here. Vivi did invite Connie along, but Connie mentioned that she was going be doing other things on her own for a moment and trusted Vivi to enjoy herself while she was here and make new friends.

She was but the only pure human on this planet after all. While the Gems had gotten used to Steven and loved him irregardless, the Gems hardly knew Connie herself. She was the most foreign one here and she would respect Gems as much as humans and well, they wouldn't bad an eye-oh there was no use pretending here either as Connie shooed away the Lyrebird of Pretend. Connie had isolated herself in her room to think about what she felt she couldn't do all of a sudden. She dreaded the inevitable conversation with Steven. Why wouldn't he want to talk to her about it? He prevented her from going too far with Pearls training so why was this any different?

Knees to her chest with arms wrapped around them as Connie sat on the bed. Her phone was on the bed side table and she still continued to try to reach out to Four Square. Why the whisper? Why this craziness thrust upon her at the worst possible moment? Would Steven believe that it could have been Four Square trying to talk to her like some kind of psychic ghost type situation? Could be anything really. Didn't stop the nightingales from resting on her head, however...

She was so into her own zone that she didn't hear the door knock the first time, only tuning back to reality on the third heavy knock.

"Connie, it's Steven, can I come in?"

She sighed, psyching herself for the worst conversation in her life. She sat up and tried to appear calm as she stretched her legs out and put her hands in her lap, telling him to enter.

He came in, closed the door and sat on the side of her bed and tried to give her a warm outlook.

"Is everything alright? Did you want to talk about what _really_ happened on Eezo-5?" He questioned.

Connie looked down. Steven knew himself about shielding ones true emotions more than anyone so hiding feelings away would prove to be difficult. Connie could weave the greatest lie ever told but then...lying to Steven was the greatest crime that she could commit. Throwing herself to fires of the unknown would be better than warranting Steven's anger. His real anger, not human level anger, anyway.

"I...I don't know. I can't explain it." She said, spilling it out.

"Do you have time for this anyway?"

Steven grunted in frustration as Connie deflected his attempts to get her to talk.

"Look, I make time now Connie. I am a Diamond. I go where I am needed and I go where I am wanted." He said.

"I am also a human. I have to understand what I need and what I want. Right now, I need to be here because I want to be...if that makes sense."

_~~Well, maybe you should make time yourself~~ _ **(^1)**

"Kinda." Said Connie as she looked away.

"But you don't need to worry about me Steven. Like I said, I'm rusty."

Rusty. Well, could be as good a truth as any. It'd been a while since Connie's had to properly fight as opposed to general sparring. She's never gotten to use her favoured sword at the College.

Steven nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. Points for trying and Connie felt the guilt pour into her more so, but she could smell how much he didn't like doing this; the sweat rolling off of his forehead the telling tale of his sheer discomfort. That's what Connie wanted to avoid. Connie refused to be a burden and to be his Dashing Swordswoman. His go to human and one of his most trusted allies...and his beloved girlfriend all wrapped in one fierce, determined package.

"Well, if you're so sure. I could get you to join the Order of Knights I made a few months back." He said.

"Inspired by Pearl...and you...there were Gems that had interest in Pearls teachings. I know how much you love to learn. So I could get you enrolled. The Teacher there is a Pearl herself....just not as extreme as our Pearl though."

Tempting. Connie wouldn't mind more challenging spars herself.

"And maybe you could teach a thing or two. You're talented Connie so I have every confidence you'll show em what ya got."

And in that made Connie feel as a giddy as she felt the first time he gushed her skills to Pearl; complete with the same type of blush too. Right now, Connie wasn't up to thinking anymore harshly than she had been. She touched Steven's hand; finally being able to after failing to earlier and absorbed his warmth in the moments that held her heart to his...closing her eyes and taking a deep breath and knowing he was still there with her. He had to be there with her; they were partners through and through and she refused to give up. His faith in her meant more than words could say...and the type of faith only reserved for her too. And his love for her meant everything and that she thrived on it...his exclusivity. He was a busy man now but the fact that he actually came out, on his own accord to see her, held that pride once again that Connie would never take for granted.

"I'll think about it." She said.

"I know there's a lot of commotion going on right now...the last thing you need to be doing is fretting over the minor."

Steven shook his head as he put his other hand on top of hers.

"Hey, I get to decide what to fret over, thank you very much." He said with a smirk.

"Besides, you know what I've missed doing?"

Connie raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

He'd placed his headset on the bed side table before he pounced on her, to her surprise as he started to tickle her; his fingers making quick traces around her hips as Connie hit him softly, with out of control giggling as he played around. 

The truth being that she missed messing about. This tender moment, tensions lessened through them being themselves and being able to muck around in these well deserved and rare fragments in their time together. They could be serious. They could be goofy and loving and cherished and silly. Moments to be appreciated and remembered. To forget the troubles of life for the meanwhile, as he kissed her cheek, her forehead, her chin...her lips and finally her neck where he stayed there, suckling it and nuzzling to where the laughs died down and were eventually replaced by soft sighs, muffled moans and petit pops....to where he would rile her up again, teasing Connie just for fun...and Connie could give as good as she got, tickling him here and there and running circles around his Gem...the facets of where he was quite sensitive and receptive to Connie's touch alone. Then she would kiss him too...on the cheek, the forehead, the lips and his neck as well. And hearing him moan under as his throat vibrating sent interesting vibes to Connie's groin.

It was all fun and games until Steven received a call from one of his Gems; his comms going off on the bed side table. He excused himself from Connie as he got off the bed, taking and putting on his headset to have a quick chat. A few prompt nods here and there before he had to confirm his current status. Once he was done, he walked over and gave her a quick peck.

"Sorry Connie, duty calls." He said, before he went to the door.

Just as it got good too.

"But yeah, definitely think about the Knights stuff. I think you would love it. Cya soon!"

* * *

Left alone once more, Connie took a deep breath and withdrew herself; putting her knees back to her chest and her arms around her legs...there was something so...irritating about her feeling that...his work being more important than her. It was a fact and it was supposed to be fine but her heart decided it wasn't. She was keen to explore some more with him...hang out even...go to...some kind of fancy Gem restaurant or something. Anything couple like...but it seemed like Connie was useless here otherwise.

She hadn't been this insecure since before she met Steven...that should have been enough alarm bells to cause Connie concern on its own. It would seem better than waiting around for Steven for when he was available...and even if he had made the effort to be with her, to hang with her it wasn't enough for Connie to be confident to be alone here. She could go back to Earth...she could...she was more useful on her own planet, doing the work required to figure out more about this Organization.

Sinking into the bed, Connie laid on her side and looked out the window. So much going on out there and Connie was stuck in here on her own volition with her own brain for company. She could flick if she wanted to; Steven's brief rile up did send off hard to shut off signals. The fire in her heart a simple blaze that could turn into an inferno if she desired it to be. 

" _Do it._ "

Connie froze. Her mind had hinged on the fact she was going to begin the process, until she heard those words so much like an echo. She immediately sat up and looked around, seeing someone standing at the head of her bed. Someone shorter, with long black hair and a white wedding dress and white eye patch. So familiar...that she might as well have been standing in the mirror.

"You know you _want_ to."

Was...was she _hallucinating_?

"Who...who are you?" She questioned, entirely fearful if this was true.

The image did not answer....only giving off a devilish grin. The room started lighting up in shades of orange as fires rose up around the bed itself which caused her to panic and hyperventaliate. There was no way this could be real. Absolutely no way. Impossible. This couldn't be happening.

Reality snapped back briefly as Connie heard her phone vibrate, paying attention to it briefly, before turning back and seeing the girl disappear....as well as the flames. They disappeared as quickly as they came. Connie's heart raced rapidly, her hand on her chest as she tried to figure out what she just saw. No way Steven could know about this...no..he couldn't...

But Connie checked her phone...her last source of comfort and read the text from Four Square.

**2/7 Feathers Collected.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Needed; Chapter 8: The Break
> 
> To translate Vivi's slang, Footy is Australian Rules Football and she's referencing the current leaderboard (writing as of 24.06.2020) the Adelaide Crows and Fremantle Dockers who are currently on the bottom of the ladder.  
> Skip the porkies; stop lying.  
> Running around like a chook without a head; basically going nuts in doing something of a frantic nature.  
> Goon bags; metallic sheen like satchels filled with wine. A classic Australian 'delicacy'.


	14. The Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven talks with Navy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOps long chapter again.

Going back and forth in between tasks was nothing new. It wasn't perfect as Steven wanted it to be, but he could manage.

Fitting in proper schedules even in the crisis had him both worried and calm about everything that had happened so far. Organising the fleets, responding to comms from other planets. Hectic, but he had Gems he could depend on roles that will positions Steven would leave behind in his absence. 

Returning to Homeworld was never on his big list of to do things, but as the situation escalated, he had choices to make and had to make the best of those choices. But he also had to be practical about them. Thanks to his Therapist, he was able to figure out how to properly manage himself without going crazy like what happened previously. Volleyball, Jasper and even Spinel definitely helped and he's had to make more difficult decisions down the line, but at least they were decisions he'd be awake over. He'd take his meds when he was supposed to, monitoring imports from Earth as per his prescription and only specially allocated Gems were able to go on his behalf. It was an odd arrangement for sure, but for the best part, it was an arrangement that suited him and that while chaos reigned on multiple colonies, it was for the lack of a better term, quite stable.

Wins, losses...losses he could learn from so he could try again. Leadership like this wasn't exactly his forte, but advice from Hessonites and loyal Emeralds definitely helped in the long term and that he wasn't afraid to ask for suggestions and for help and while some still served to get on his nerves on any given moment, he made sure to give as much respect to those under him and praise where appropriate.

So why did Connie's arrival send him spinning?

It wasn't like he didn't want her there...in fact, he was kind of expecting her to visit at some point. Steven knew her to be tenacious in such fields, using her diplomacy skills to hitch a ride to Homeworld. She was always smart. Though her actions through the last few months did have him worried.

He never divulged or looked too deeply into the pictures she had been sending him to anyone else, wondering if Connie had suddenly gained an interest in photography as part of her studies. Graphics Design? Multimedia was it?

The shots she'd taken and the images she created...they felt cold...the blacks, the blues and greens. Steven became worried at first, fearful as to what Four Squares intentions were with her, whom ever this person was and what their goals were.

He'd stood by the edge of the balcony overlooking the fleets construction again and looked at his phone. The last picture Connie, or better yet, this Four Square had sent had him definitely worried about. Connie suddenly mentioning this mysterious individual stuck in his head and it wouldn't let go...and now Connie's assurances in telling him that she was fine and that they could look into together would indeed be fine on the surface, but Steven knew better...he knows he has been guilty of keeping it under the rug with his own issues...so seeing the signs were a lot more clearer to him. Still, he gave Connie her space and just wanted her to have a good time despite how pedantic everything had become recently.

BYW-3 being back in force scared Steven originally and had him rethink on his current measures and stances on who he could really trust. The Diamonds had told them they had taken care of the chemical, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Ahem excuse me, Steven Diamond."

Turning around, he could see a Peridot with square hair and her Gem on her chest as she gave him salute. He'd already used Squaridot for another individual, so he called this one something different.

"Oh hey Cubedot, what's up?" He asked.

She nodded.

"I followed up on that task you had me do. I have some results."

Oh good. Steven had her do a secret mission for him. Connecting to his current thoughts on what Connie told him earlier, he had her do some research on this Organisation that had both humans and Gems involved.

"Hit me." He said as he crossed arms.

"Okay so I looked into the history of that Jayhawk place you said? Turns out that there have been hundreds of Gem encrypted messages retrieved by the probe we sent down there yesterday, coming to and from there but we haven't been able to track where the messages are being sent from otherwise."

On his order, Steven had Cubedot try to figure out any way they could get into the back story of that area and surrounding towns. If what Connie said was true, then Jayhawk was a hot spot for conspiracies. The Frenzy Incident being caused by BYW-3 had Steven's mind jump to horrible conclusions and multiple ideas that he was so afraid of that he made the stance to find out more. Even if it meant going behind Connie's back. This would outright confirm it. But what would the Organisation gain from using the chemical on humans? It amplified the rate of his corruption and mental state but that would have had more to do with his unique biology. Humans were humans...and all it served for them was to make them feral and Connie was unfortunately a victim from a simple ingestion.

"Anything about someone known as Four Square?" Steven queried.

Cubedot shook her head.

"Sorry no. I mean, I would have to look into Connie's Communication device to see if there were any bugs or malware installed....from the sounds of it, there might be."

A grimace was plastered on his face upon such disturbing words. Risking Connie's trust like that...while Connie didn't want to mention anything further about Four Square...if it meant trying to solve the problem, then he might have to ask her politely and she had to be know that it would come to that point; surely she would be okay with them looking through her phone? Even after they said they would look into Four Square together? He sighed. How did this come together? The Rebellion, The Organisation....Four Square...Steven began to believe that this was deeper than he originally thought and that dealing with the Rebellion was only the surface of the problems that they had begun to encounter. Once the Fleet was finished, he would be able to actively defend colonies with better firepower and hunt down the rebels at a faster pace.

_BEEP BEEP_

Steven's headset went off as he turned back to Cubedot one last time.

"Monitor those messages for me." He ordered her.

"See if you can decode anything and let me know right away when you find something useful."

Cubedot nodded again, before adding the last salute.

"Aye, Aye sir!"

As the Green Gem ran off, Steven pressed the button on his headset.

"Yeah Steven here?"

"Steven it's Volleyball, we have the Ruby in custody and Jasper is waiting to start the interrogation."

* * *

On route to the prisons, Steven's stance on the topic of interrogations was limited to him only watching a part of it. Jasper did get violent and on moments where she would go too far, Steven found himself stepping in and letting them take a break until Jasper calmed down. She was a lot better than she had been, but she would relapse into her old self, to where Steven had to give her a pep talk (which she still hated) or let her blow off steam elsewhere. She was reliable and very efficient especially when matters seemed to be easy to handle, but it came to wringing the truth out of people, she would come across Gems even more stubborn than her.

Steven's own relationship with Navy was already sour, so the discourse with that Ruby was entirely justified from his point of view. Still, she was one of their only leads thus far. Most rebels would escape their grasp through tactical methods; Gems warping back to safety of their own hidden base, located on some planet, somewhere they had yet to find.

The room was something out of a crime show; the single dark room with black walls, floors, iron tables and folded out chairs and a single hanging light from above to give it that ominous, glowing vibe...not to mention the double sided mirror. Steven entered the observation room, where Volley was she worked the console which recorded interactions. Steven squinted at the Ruby, who had this arrogant smug on her face. With Jasper, that wouldn't last long.

On cue, Jasper slammed the door open, entering then slamming the door shut, following by slapping her tablet (made extra durable after she'd already broken twenty previously) on the table and sat down on the opposite side of Navy. Steven on the other hand, felt the twinge of anxiety run through him...though the cat was on his shoulder, wondering what would happen under Jaspers control. Steven advised her to wear her special suit for this situation, having being inspired by said crime shows on Earth. It wasn't anything too flashy...burgundy blazer with matching trousers on top of a beige polo shirt and black boots. She drew the line at putting her hair into a ponytail however.

"So...here's what we know you've done puny Ruby." Jasper said. Her voice was levelled at her version of calm. Steven's seen her question multiple Gems. This is where it starts...and there was always a general pattern she went by when it came to getting answers they needed.

"You set dangerous criminal Gems free from their prisons. So...who ordered you to do it?"

A moment that had Steven reeling. They hadn't heard much from the Rubies since their last encounter and the only one in that squad that had been just as dangerous was Eyeball. Doc, Leggy, Army...the last thing Steven had found out was that they had been reassigned prior to Era 3 but eventually lost track. No one bothered to hunt them down but from last contact Doc was said to have been doing well. As for Leggy and Army...

But for Navy...she had to be the most devious and cunning...Steven did not want to risk underestimating her again.

"What makes you think I didn't do this on my own?" She said in a tone that Jasper despised.

"You know, you saw me...I feel that they were wrongly accused."

Wrongly accused? Who was she trying to kid? Steven jumped as Jasper slammed the table in frustration.

"Don't play dumb with me like your kind normally are." She roared.

"Do you really want to risk being shattered over something like this?" 

Not that would they would...Steven was insistent on the no-shattering policy at best. And judging from Navy's grin, she knew this too.

"The mighty Steven Universe would never have me shattered." She said.

"There's _nothing_ you can do to make me talk."

And with Jasper shifting her chair to the back as she stood up, it was time for Jaspers next phase. She pulled Navy by her collar and brought her face up close.

"No...maybe I can find something even worse than shattering you!" She threatened.

"We could have you rejuvenated...restored to default and make you loyal to our cause!"

Some trials ended up with someone being rejuvenated, much to Steven's horror. If he had more time, he would talk to each Gem individually, to get them to be on a level of better understanding and some Gems took that chance to be better, realizing how much they've been in the wrong and he was glad most Gems weren't given that treatment. A bit of reasoning and a rehabilitation with respect usually did the trick. But Gems could be stubborn at the best of times; taking their chances and calling out the bluffs. People knew Steven was soft and that Jasper can be rough. Navy was smart enough to understand this; she had little to lose if she said nothing, so there wasn't much they could do to get her to talk.

"But you would get nothing from me...your only link." Navy taunted.

Jasper closed her eyes; her patience at its limits.

"Steven, I suggest you give me an hour. Take a walk. This isn't going to be pretty." She warned him.

Some times Steven had to relent. He could place faith in Jasper and she understood her obligations well enough. Drawing the line...once he looked at Volley she got the gist of the concerned look he gave her, the simple context of an order to keep an eye on Jasper more so than Navy, as Steven took Jaspers advice.

* * *

Homeworld itself hustled and bustled in its business. Horizons were calm, busy for the best reasons. Organised with the realities ahead of them for clearer, happier atmospheres. An old world made new with infinite possibilities made on the Gems on accord. Those who had harbored desires of another life or to be able to work their magic (literally and figuratively speaking).

One of the things suggested by his Therapist were just...walks. No use of Warp Pads but to take routes through either gardens or streets...anything that allowed him to scope his surroundings. To see how his effects on the planet have taken root and grown thanks to his actions.

Previously, he hadn't had this much introspection since the last incident. He would work and work and never take the moment, where after he was needed, to see how better life had evolved here...and he saw it in the face of every gem, the gardens and flora he'd come to appreciate walking past. Flower shops, Gems handing flowers to other Gems. The metropolis of such pristine, of vibrant, shining colours of the rainbow and natural beauty mixed with the artificial commerce. How Steven imagined life could be if it was willing to try...and the fusion of it all, was a wonderful sight to behold. The smiles, the greetings, the laughter...it was just another version of Earth, inspired by the ways humans had always been...and Steven took solace in this new norm and the happiest most Gems had been experiencing. Pearls, Rubies, Sapphires, Quartzes and all the ones he's never had the pleasure to work with....and it was one of the Steven's favourite things to see.

But it would curveball in the everlasting memories of the fights taken place here...and not going back to when they had fought Onyx here...where Steven used his Leviathan to their advantage...no, to when they were fighting White Diamond. The side of the history so dark and yet, it felt so long ago. And more fights were on Earth than they were here and yet, every time it was at Homeworld, it felt like always the hugest fight they had to win.

Right now, it was all over the place, spread out thinly and yet, maintained, structured, flowing on a systematic approach where there was pressure to succeed, but the way it was being handled had to be done with both caution and time provided. Gems were patient. Steven wasn't, but had to be. Not just with them, but with himself. It'd been a while since he'd seen Ghosts. Butterflies were still around every corner, angling their way to his heart on issues that were supposed to be minor...and on arguments he's had since he's been here. It wasn't perfect and outbursts had still occurred but...

He's had Volleyball to talk to. He's had Jasper to vent to. He's had his Therapist in those thread hanging moments. Nothing too serious...those born of the minor accord, left to be mended in minor, but powerful ways...finally allowing Steven the room to breath and to express himself in ways he's never had to before.

The lack of human contact minus his Therapist...the physical...it was hard. Very hard. Lonely nights spent looking at the stars....wondering how Connie was doing at College. Making new friends, getting those high grades...just letting her follow her dreams was so touching to him...but touching her...he missed that the most...

On top of all the real and the artificial...the yearning was to be expected. Catch ups were just other versions of interrogations with nicer attitudes. Obtaining information for a specific purpose. Though Steven would prefer a simple handshake...over potentially whacking someone on the face. A kiss on the cheek, the casualness over relationships formed...Steven knew that wouldn't be done so easily with Navy...whether or not Jasper could a way to get her to spill...

Hands in his pockets of his pants, he came across a little park that had been formed with a statue of Pink Diamond in the middle of a large fountain. This...park of sorts was built by Blue Diamond eons ago and protected from Yellow so it had been blocked off from most Gems, but reopened as a type of Memorial, which was nice. While Steven was hesitant to be here of all places, given his own still kind of conflicting feelings over his mother, he understood how others adored Pink in the past and popular she was with other Gems. He wouldn't let others visions of her be stained as much as his was...ignorance was bliss even if Steven preferred everyone to know the truth. 

The pink flowers that dotted and surrounded the bushes and sprinkled in trees...a sense of zen...peace and serenity in this place of solace and the gushing sounds of the fountain were pleasing to the ear. Steven obviously didn't come here often, but what ever dragged him here, had him sitting on the nearby bench and look up at his mother. One of those rare cuts in his mind that came about when he had the strangest need to talk to her out of anyone.

"Its' weird...it feels like I'm still fighting the same battles you did all these years ago." Steven said.

"Except I'm not fighting myself this time...."

Even that was a phrase heavy loaded in symbolism if one really wanted to dive into it.

"That your mum?"

All of a sudden, Vivi was standing there, with her hands in her pockets, staring up at the statue with a faint trace of awe. Nothing over the top, but the sparkles in her eyes definitely told that story.

"Yeah..." Steven answered.

Vivi nodded.

"She was really pretty."

To have been put into Vivi's shoes...to not see the side of Gem life like everyone else had. Her ignorance wasn't intentional.

"Guess you get tired of being told that you look just like her....I mean, I can see the similarities with the hair but I won't comment further. Sounds like the type of shit ya'd be sick of hearin'. Knew a chick back home who was over with of being compared to her own father."

He couldn't but smile and let off a faint laugh. She wasn't wrong. Though, Steven couldn't help but wonder if she tell him more about her adopted family...it was a contrast to what Steven could imagine. Gems raising a half human...and humans raising a Gem..a bizarre mirror but he could probably understand better than anybody.

"What about your parents? What are they like?" Steven queried.

It was then Vivi sat next to him, laying back on the bench as she crossed her legs.

"Mum's nice....to an extent... Dads an ass." She replied.

"Back home, both would work long hours. Birthdays with mudcake, ice cream and fairy bread...stuff with those hundreds n' thousands sprinkled on buttered slices of bread...traditional Aussie cuisine ya know? But I never had that many friends for the first few years so mum would prepare parties that no would rock up to. Three way convos on the phone where I would get the cake out of the fridge, light the candles and they would sing happy birthday over the speaker. I'd scoff the lot and left some behind for when mum and dad would come home later that night; long after I put myself to sleep. I felt mum kiss my forehead...Dad usually passes out after a few beers."

Sounded more like a lonely life if anything. 

"It reminds me of when I found out the Crystal Gems never celebrated birthdays at all." Steven said with soft fondness.

"I tried to throw parties for each of them...until it ended with me aging up so badly that I almost died."

Vivi raised an eyebrow, placing her arms on the back of the bench and letting her hands dangled as she looked at Steven briefly, then back to the Statue.

"Wow that escalated quickly." She commented.

"But I suppose people like you and me...we're not exactly traditional."

Not by a long shot, but they make it work. He originally believed Vivi to be more human than he was in the way she worked, but it turned out that had a lot more in common than he would have put forth. The sense of loss, the lack of a true identity. Though, hers was more so the lack of a particular Gem type but overall, there was the absence of purpose and driven with temporary and false ambitions to make it seem like they had their lives sorted. Going from how defeated she sounded, Steven assumed no one she had met up with had yet to tell her who she was. Heh...the opposite of when people assumed Steven was his mom. Ironic on that front but it proved that identity issues weren't just on him. It was then Steven checked his phone...he had to be back to the Interrogation soon and from the lack of any texts or comms from Volley, it would appear Jasper hadn't gone too far yet. He sighed as he stood and adjusted his jacket.

"Well, I better head back...gotta make sure these Gems are still all in one piece." He said.

They had to be. Steven would feel guilty if anything happened to Navy, even if they were enemies.

"What do you do with someone as stubborn as a Ruby you know?"

Vivi stood up next to him.

"Ahh yeah heard about them Rubies. An emotional fireball from what I've heard." She said.

"Stubborn individual's get frustrated at Wild Cards. Maybe I can be of some...persuasion?"

Steven wasn't sure what Vivi was getting at, until he saw the little flame on top of her finger.

"Ya see, I can draw lines on humans and Gems. Did this awesome lil' tattoo on this uhh...Jade earlier. She loved it, said it stung briefly but that's to be expected...maybe I can put a bit more force on the Ruby...humiliate her in a way with a design that might work."

How that would work...Steven wasn't sure.

"Well, if you want to help. I suppose we need to take every chance we can get. Come on, follow me."

* * *

While they walked back at the Observation Room, Steven explained to Vivi about what they were trying to get from Ruby; information about the current Rebellion and its leaders. Once they got there, Steven let Vivi examine the red Gem still sitting on the chair with a sweet but evil grin on her face. Jasper wasn't anywhere to be seen, until Steven turned to his side to see her leaning against the wall, arms crossed and in the dark. The aura of displeasure was written all over her, her technique to get Navy to spill, all but failure weaved into the silence. Vivi blinked, shocked at how big that Gem really was.

"Anything?" Steven asked. He knew the answer, but he didn't want to assume.

Jasper's response was a sigh...evidence enough that assumptions weren't needed. Jasper then opened her eyes, seeing Vivi looking at her with a unreadable look.

"Who's this twig?" Jasper asked.

They hadn't introduced one another, since Jasper was normally off-world most of the time.

"Oh this is Vivi. She's a friend of Connie's from Earth." He said.

Jasper wasn't impressed, but she got off the wall to look at her more closely. Like with some other Gems, Vivi remained quiet.

"A friend? She's a Gem...but I can't quite put my finger on it. What's your cut?"

Vivi then exchanged glances. Not this again. It was like the same conversation over and over with no clear answer in sight.

"We...don't know." Steven replied in Vivi's place.

"Biggest mystery after the Rebellion I'm afraid."

Jasper grunted, apathetic about it.

"It doesn't matter. Well, I don't know how we're gonna get the Ruby to spill. I might be your best Interrogator, but this is next to impossible when you can't strike total fear into your enemy. I respect that. But you might...wait, what did you say your name was again?"

"Vivi?" Steven queried.

Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"Vivi? As in Vivianite? You don't look like one...but that's what I would imagine you to be based on your name alone..I think. Aren't your kind designed to investigate problems and are able to probe memories?"

Wait, why didn't they think of using one in the first place?

"Most Vivianites wanted no part in what we're doing." Said Volleyball.

"I've tried contacting groups but so far I've gotten no response."

Of course. Why didn't Steven think of that? He's used them before but they weren't too keen to help out from what he'd gathered. The last time he'd seen them, they were tall, curvy individuals, of a variety of hues with soft, calming voices but could be vicious if prompted. Vivi was tough, that was known. But that was the only real similarity he could point out.

"Uhh...Vivi is short for Vivian...my uh...human...name." Vivi informed them.

"I suppose if that's what I am...that's what I am?"

Though from what Jasper mentioned, that Vivi did not look like a Vivianite still caused some doubt on the underhanded revelation. Vivi seemed so underwhelmed by it as well. They weren't exactly common gems and their refusal to assist in their task wasn't considered abnormal from the slightest. Disappointing, but they had standards. They did not wish to lean on either side, preferring to remain completely neutral about it all. It was all the had to go on and if Vivi really was a Vivianite, then that was that specific mystery solved, done and dusted. It somehow felt so...underwhelming as Vivi tried to absorb this potential fact. But, if it she could show her stuff, then it would prove what she really was. He wondered what Connie would think about it.

"Funny enough, I was gonna go in there and see if I can't get that Gem to talk. I've...heh...gotten tales outta bad boys and girls on Earth when they've had a few. Some shockers but still, if I ever needed to blackmail them....not that I would, but if they were being complete fuckwits then yeah, black mail it is."

Jasper and Steven exchanged glances, the former more confused by it all.

"Uhh she means she wants to go in there. Give her a try?"

Jasper shrugged, not phased too much by it.

"Meh, go ahead. If you can get further than me then by all means...."

Letting Vivi into the interrogation room, she sat on the chair and leaned back and put her feet on the table as she eyed off Navy. Steven watched on, the cat on his shoulder wanting to know what Vivi meant by putting more force on as she mentioned earlier. It was tense, but Vivi seemed to have this arrogance about her that was kind of justified. He was impressed by her valor against a corrupted Gem, so he wanted to see her try her own, wild card tactics against Navy.

"So...you're Navy huh?" Vivi said as she pulled out a nail file out of her pocket and started to file down her plum coloured nails. The two had already met, but Vivi just wanted to act like a detective just this once.

"I'm Vivi. I know you're our enemy...but I just want to have a casual chat ya know? Let's forget about the Rebellion for a moment and get to know each other better. Sound good?"

Navy didn't respond at all. Continuing to sit there, like she was meditating. Vivianites weren't said to exceptionally powerful; just mysterious in their own ways. They preferred to work alone and without witnesses. Hence their investigation into the last Rebellion was absolutely crucial; but this time around, _none_ of them wanted any part of it. So what had changed?

"I come from Earth just like ya mate Steven. I'm not here to change ya mind. I'm here to explore your mind. Gifting somethin' to ya. Have you ever had a tattoo?"

She didn't respond. Vivi looked at the mirror, knowing Steven and Jasper were busy remaining contemplative as to what Vivi was going to do and how she was going to do it. She gave them a wink, before standing up.

"Tattoos are works of art on the body. Humans who want to permanently decorate themselves with beautiful drawings or simple phrases that hold meaning to them. Gems have no real need since any change to their physical form is...never always forever...so I've been told. But ya know, the mind once it's fixated on idea that's so embedded into their heads, some people will pursue those ideas no matter the cost. So, do you have anything you'd like me to draw on you? Arm? Back maybe?"

Vivi might as well have been talking to a brick wall, the way that Navy was completely still and how she just let the purple Gem talk. Navy was doing it deliberately and no matter what anyone did, her stubbornness was strongest power she could display right now. She cracked her neck as she went behind Navy. Steven swallowed as a bead of sweat rolled down his temple, uncertain of what Vivi was going to do and how Navy was going to react. He continued to examine as Vivi picked up the unresponsive Gem and slammed her face down onto the table, causing Steven to wince. What was she doing? Jasper on the other hand had a dark cat on her shoulder, rubbing her chin as the wonder became fascination.

Jumping on the table and sitting on Navy's legs, Vivi cracked her fingers, putting her feet on each side of Navy's torso.

"Now, this might seem a bit personal, but I'm gonna need to take ya uniform off. If that is okay. You don't have to speak to say yes, but if you slap ya hand on the table, that's enough for me." She said.

A moment went by as Vivi's patience was tested for a good thirty seconds, before she rolled her eyes, leaning to take Navy's hand and have her slap the table herself.

"Ah thank you. Permission is really important so I'm glad you can agree!"

It was then Vivi put her hands to the bottom of Navy's uniform and pulled it up towards her head to show off her back. Vivi made a chuckle, before a blue flame lit up on her finger, preparing to make her mark. Steven was entirely unsure of this was the proper way to go about things, unconventional but disturbing in a way.

They watched as Vivi put a single finger on her back, but as she did so, revealed a series of glowing back lines on Navy's back that weren't even there before, that caused Vivi to jump. No...they weren't black lines...they were black squares. Vivi was left stunned by the sudden emergence of this particular symbol, which seemed so familiar.

"Uh...Steven...Jasper...I think you both need to look at this..."

The two immediately left the Observation room, running into the Interrogation Room to get a better look on what was on Navy's back. Four black Squares in a U like formation.

"What is _that_?" Jasper questioned.

Steven and Vivi looked at each other, having a vague feeling as to what that could potentially be. Knowing someone else had a particular mark similar to that.

"Vivi, can I talk to you in private? Jasper, take Navy back to the prisons."

* * *

It was then Steven and Vivi went back to his office in the Operations Room as he sat as his desk, his elbows leaning on it as his fingers folded into each other, his eyes linger on the edge of the desk as he was deep in thought. Vivi sat on the desk, her back to him as her arms were crossed. This was getting too weird. The revelation that Vivi was potentially a Vivianite was overshadowed by this strange mark. A mark that had numerous ideas running through their heads. Both of them. It was both disturbing and quite...scary in a subtle way. They knew what the other was thinking about and it was all...too much.

"It was Connie who wanted that tattoo on her arm." Vivi said, as she broke the silence between them.

"Prior to that, I had never seen that marking before in my life."

It couldn't be a coincidence. It just couldn't be. It was puzzling, for that Steven held no doubt. But what was getting to him as he couldn't just stop thinking about the tattoo, but the similar markings that she had been getting on her phone as well. Vivi had spent more time with Connie than him in recent months, so the purple Gem had to have seen stuff, but not necessarily question it, probably out of respect for Connie but surely, she had to have witnessed the more bizarre but the generally un-explainable. So, Steven was about to risk something so horrifying that he was willing to take on the guilt if it meant protecting Connie from this mess.

"Vivi I need to ask you to do something...something _incredibly_ important... _incredibly_ risky..." He said, so angry at himself for even daring to do so.

"Wouldn't be the first time, but what do ya want me to do milord?" She questioned as she slid herself on top of his desk to his right and laid her feet across it. Steven sighed, the butterflies more apparent than usual.

"I need you to look through Connie's phone." He asked...poisonous words that would ruin everything he had with Connie. But from what he had witnessed with her dealing with Navy, she had guts and a strong will.

"I've been getting strange messages from her recently....and back on Earth, she was receiving text messages from someone she calls Four Square. She's under the belief that her phone was hacked by this person..."

Vivi lifted her head up, like a ping went into her head on those words.

"I told her we would look into it together, but she mentioned she was worried about her being lack with her sword skills, so I sent to her to train with the Order of Knights; run by a very noble Pearl. But...I can't get this idea in my head that somethings happening to Connie...someones doing something to her and I don't know what."

The way he croaked his words, almost in tears, was incredibly heartfelt to the otherwise boisterous Vivi. She examined on the corner of her eye as he rested his hand on his chest, clasping his shirt in a gesture of desperation. She could not ignore such profound love and concern that he had for Connie and Vivi found that important to protect. Given from what Connie had already told her, he felt like he owed her the universe and much more for what she had done for him.

She had lifted up her right knee and put her elbow on it, trying to prompt more contact with him. She had told him not to be a fuckwit and to help her as the Frenzy had warped her into a monster with a familiar face...and he wasn't necessarily being a fuckwit now, only that his morals were in trouble for what he had to do to save her.

Morals Vivi's had to understand for most of her life...risen as a human and now dealing with problems...and being a Vivianite...well, the only real links was her name. But her mother called her that...and now everything she knew was being put in question. Questions she's asked for many years but nothing conclusive until now...and that looking at the symbol on Navy's back and the one on Connie's shoulder...this...Four Square....

And the outburst she had the Brewery...the cause of it...of which was triggered by a single voice which she somehow knew, but couldn't recall who it belonged to. Vivi was someone, somewhere but right now, she had to do this for Steven. For Connie. To find out the trickiest of situations...

"I'll look into her phone." She said, her voice low.

"You're a busy man Stevo. I understand you have important work to do and I think..from what I've seen and heard..."

She'd spent the day before bumping into Steven meeting up with different Gems and sparking conversation with them about some of the landmarks on Homeworld. Getting to know her real heritage was some kind of an honour and all the Gems treated each other with a distinct kindness and did not treat Vivi any differently. Some of them were bit weird but Vivi came to accept that about them. They were aliens after all and being raised by, well, people who were alien to her was definitely a type of contrast she hadn't expected. Connie had said Humans and Gems could be similar in psyche...kindness and cruelty and equality and discrimination. A common thread of sentient life.

"These people respect you. Sure, you've got a handful of assholes who don't like what you've done but honestly, you can't please everyone."

Steven tried to smile. He could see what Vivi was trying to do...trying to make him feel better in front of all the confusion. He rubbed his chin, trying to think how they could go about this most subtle way so Connie wouldn't find out. Their first priority now was to figure out who this Four Square was. And they had to do this with utmost discretion.

"I appreciate that Vivi. I do." He said.

"Your best bet is to go with Connie when she goes to Knights Classes. Figure out someway to get to her phone when she's not looking. Text me and me alone when you find something. Anything."

It felt everything Steven was against in terms of respect went out the window with that sentence. He didn't want to do it, but if Connie continued to act strange...then he had to prepare himself to go as far as necessary to get a grip of it all. The last thing he wanted Connie to fall into was insanity. 

"I'm not proud of what I had done previously." Steven told her, leaning against his hand on the desk with a sad, despondent look.

"I know from experience how your head becomes unravelled and suddenly you've gone too far. I was lucky to be brought back to a stable state. If it wasn't for Connie, I would have remained a monster forever."

Hence his desire to solve the issue as quickly as possible. Vivi couldn't even begin to imagine that scenario even if she tried. She'd heard about bizarre weather patterns from the news, the skies of deep purple, but that was about it.

"In the meantime, I do have Gems looking into Comms on Earth. One of my agents tells me there's been Gem encrypted messages being sent back and forth from Jayhawk."

Vivi's eyes widened.

"Fark...well, I'm not sure how much Connie told 'bout what was goin' on down there, I mean, the Frenzy Incident, followed by a Gem and a human at a Brewery and this Organisation...now this? This is far too coincidental to not be linked." She commented. She ended up getting off the desk, preparing to leave.

"I'll take Connie there tomorrow. I'll keep you posted."

Steven nodded, waiting for Vivi to leave before he sank back into his chair, spinning it around to look out the window, ignoring the cavalcade of butterflies swarming around him.

* * *

It was a late afternoon, as Vivi returned back to the Pink Palace and their guest bedrooms. She knocked on Connie's door, before entering.

She could see Connie there, sitting on her bed...which made Vivi wonder if she ever moved before she left, sitting in the dark, hunch over with the glow of her phone in her face. Vivi could see faint bags underneath her eyes, which were honestly too close to the screen. Vivi gulped as she closed the door. She wanted to be civil but somehow it was like she'd stepped into the room of a complete stranger and made all mental attempts to keep her cool.

"Hey Condor." She said, somehow a bit of nerve ended up bubbling her throat.

"Hey Vivi." Connie said, as she put her thumb to her teeth, using the nail to clean in between them. Her voice was almost...monotone?

"Have a good day?"

Vivi nodded and tried to smile, despite how awkward everything felt all of a sudden. She suddenly understood how Steven felt...the inevitable breach of trust.

"Bloody oath it was. So, uh. Hey, good news. Turns out I'm a Vivianite! Which...I have no idea what that means but its somethin' right?"

A curt nod from Connie sent something horrible to Vivi's gut of how emotionless that was. But then she turned away from her phone, with a disturbing smile. It looked normal on the surface, but from Connie right now, it made Vivi feel...fearful. She's never gotten that from Connie before. Since Steven had brought up, Vivi couldn't stop seeing it more than ever...there had to be signs of this beforehand, surely.

"Yes it does! I'm so glad you finally figured it out! I knew someone was bound to know and bam! Here we are...so...what are you going to do now?" She queried.

Vivi hadn't even gotten that far yet. Everything about her discussion with Steven had her fixated on so many different things. So she had to rethink her strategy and realign herself with Steven's proposal.

"Uhh, well, I was thinkin'" Vivi said as she rubbed her shoulder.

"I was chatting with Steeb and he said you were going to train with the Order of Knights? I was thinkin' I'd join ya, get some sick skillz ya know?"

Connie chuckled.

"Well, I had been thinking about it." She said.

"Remember when I told you about the time I sliced a car in half? I want to feel that again. Make myself useful."

Vivi gulped, but nodded, feigning confidence as she put on a strong act in front of her friend.

"Oh yeah that story was pretty cool." Vivi explained.

"I'mma hit the sack but I expect you to be up bright and early tomorrow. We'll head to this place and toughen ourselves up!"

Connie beamed. There was something lurking within that smile of hers that become more than disturbing that Vivi herself couldn't place anymore. She let Connie be and wished her goodnight.

* * *

Returning to darkness, Connie didn't realise she had phased into this type of disassociated trance like state, skimming through her phone all day like she had been waiting for something. Vivi's intrusion didn't have her realize that she'd been there for hours, checking time on her lock screen. The battery was almost dead as she hooked it up to the charger and placed the phone on her bedside table. 

She'd gone into the bathroom to prepare herself for bed. She hadn't eaten, yet Connie wasn't hungry at all. She brushed her hair and brushed her teeth. The usual humanoid routine. The mundane trials of the human, to dust off the dirt from the day and to envelope the body in a drape of warmth to prepare the body for its eight hour rotation for slumber. It was just...an automatic process, the auto-pilot that drove the body to take care of itself.

And yet, Connie was still amazed on how Steven could outright ignore the promise of a good nights sleep while he was here. The amount of will power it must have taken to shift aside the fatigue with ease...she imagined caffeine or something or maybe working off lingering essences of the way his Gem provided his energy. Connie envied such a power to last longer than the average human. 

Being human was something had took pride in and there shouldn't have been anything wrong with being one...but recently, this had come across to her as nothing more than being the weakest link in the chain and being more than her worth was what Connie had really desired.

To change the world, to keep it turning just as Steven wanted her too.

"And you want his power to help change the world."

Connie looked up at the mirror, seeing a younger version of herself with longer hair, glasses, green and white striped shirt with overalls standing right behind her. She gasped and spun around, although no one was there. Connie shook her head as her heart raced. Not this again...not another voice to tell her things she didn't want to admit. She caught hold of the sink and looked into it, taking a deep breath to kept her sanity in check. No. This wasn't happening to her. Not now...she was fine.

Looking however, she noticed her eyes had turned a dark green, as a similar coloured ooze was coming out of her nose. 

She froze.

And in the distance, on her bed side table, her phone lit up. Another message from Four Square.

**3/7 Feathers Collected.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vivianites were mentioned in Needed in one chapter.  
> Buuut the real mystery behind Vivi has yet to be solved


	15. The Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven talks to his Therapist....and Vivi.

This was getting dangerous...and Steven wasn't even thinking about the Rebellion. 

He'd received a text from Vivi the following morning as she had confirmed she'd enrolled with Connie to their first Knights Class. On a normal basis as far as Steven was concerned, Connie would have been thrilled and perhaps, she still would be. He would owe Vivi big time if she could get any kind of information.

His worries would only increase, the stress of this was worse than the stress of the Rebellion and whether or not telling his Therapist became a debate for the ages. A tangled web of complications, controversies that he really didn't need right now. Connie was his priority but at the moment, Steven tried so hard to think logically about it.

In his office, he looked a screen of data...to anyone else it would mean absolutely nothing. To Steven, it was a number of units on a specific planet, statistics, logistics etc. Crucial parts that needed his utmost attention and the utmost care. All he could hear was the general hum of technology and nothing more. Part of him waited for another text from Vivi and when he looked at the time, he realised that he was meant to actually speak to his Therapist today. Typing onto his keyboard, he set up all the connections; desperately needing the distraction so he could get a grip on things. 

Eventually the video call connected and in front of him was a woman, the same white wavy hair in a bun. Dr. Sandra Johnson. She was very gentle, but honest with Steven, allowing him to vent when he felt the need to and she would pause and question where appropriate, pinpointing key aspects in his stories and helping him find resolutions for himself. He could relax around her more than he used to. The start of his sessions had him a bit more nervous, but he more of a less looked forward to his appointments, more often than not.

"Ah I was beginning to think you forgot." Sandra said warmly, her soft, yet stern motherly voice lovely to his ears. Steven could always guess when she was wearing her red runners...she was always more relaxed like she'd had a cup of chamomile tea.

"Not that it matters, I take it things are busy over there?"

Without a doubt. Where could he even begin?

"Always." He said with an awkward chuckle.

"The Rebellion is being pushed back but it too can put on the pressure if we let our guards down now."

Sandra nodded in understanding.

"The unfortunate criteria of war." She said.

"How are you sleeping since we last spoke?"

Some occasions Steven wasn't able to talk to Sandra. He could talk to her once a week, every two weeks or every month...it was sparse and while his mood could go up or down, he was confident on partial fragments where he was on neutral as opposed to feeling awful all the time. Neutral was easy...as for the awful feelings...

"So far, I think I'm getting maybe six or seven hours...with minor wake ups throughout the night...but some of it has been kind of disrupted recently."

And this got Sandras attention as she adjusted herself in her red computer chair.

"Oh? Was there something exciting that happened or a big event?"

Was he ready to tell her about Connie?

"I...well, Connie came around. Her first semester just finished so she's here for a while."

Sandra nodded. He's spoken to Sandra about Connie nearly as much as his own problems. How they met, how she's been a huge part of his life...and how he fell in love with her...and how she'd saved his life on numerous occasions. The important details...and Steven had to get himself to a level on where didn't want to depend on her all the time...and the portions of the guilt, the butterflies that ate him in minuscule nibbles on how he'd hurt her. Though he didn't tell about the uh...more, intimate details.

"Yes Madame Connie." Sandra said with curled lips.

"How is she?"

Steven rubbed his neck, anxious as to what to tell Sandra. No one else was around and he would have Volley message him only if there was something urgent that required him. He's never spoken to Sandra about what he saw on Connie's phone and he wasn't comfortable with sharing too much detail. He had to go the route to pick and dodge the truths he was prepared and unprepared to reveal.

"I...well, she's fine, but..." Steven said, his voice almost croaking.

"I'm...worried about her."

A reverse from before; where Connie would worry about him constantly. Steven had since grown his metaphorical wings and had flown beyond those realms where she would be there to pick him up if he were to fall...to accidentally unleash the leviathan if it ever became too much. And he loved Connie too much to allow to do that all the time and he deeply appreciated that...but it wasn't her job to do it every damn time. Steven had to learn how to cope for himself. Connie was smart, both with sheer knowledge and she was more levelled headed than most.

"College life isn't easy." Sandra said.

"I know you said she has a dedicated drive to know as much as she can and it's an admirable trait to a fault. You believe she's been working too hard?"

Maybe. Steven couldn't really say or pinpoint a specific cause. Being exposed to trace amounts of BYW-3 maybe but he wasn't sure if that was even it. Telling Sandra of a conspiracy at this rate would land him more crazy than sane, so he had to be careful about what he was able to tell her.

"It's possible." Steven admitted.

"Coupled with everything else going on in our lives right now, I don't know how to approach it."

Sandra hummed, locked in a crevice of thought. Steven really didn't want to take the measures he had made to ensure Connie was being looked after but...he just couldn't shake the images out of his head. During the night, those moments where he would wake up, he'd go through his own phone and find himself looking at the pictures again, like there was some hidden meaning locked away and it was trying to send him a real, deep message but he just couldn't figure it out for the life of him.

"Have you spoken to her about this? Given her the space like she has for you so you can talk properly? So far you have told me that both of you both have hectic and very busy lifestyles. Have you...given yourselves a moment of clarity to clear your heads and offer her an open forum for discussion?" Sandra suggested.

Now that sounded just like what he done the last time he was here. He'd always provided people with the opportunity to speak to him if they really had to. Back then it was out of a desire to be of some use to people he could never reach but had always wanted to. Now it was similar, but in a way that could be expressed in a healthy way and that Steven never always had been people coming up to him for help. He just had to make sure the world kept turning; for himself more so than anyone else.

The only world that was struggling right now was Connie's.

"I've told her that I'm there for her and that I've got her back." He said.

"But what I don't get is why I have this horrible feeling that she's still hiding something from me? Does it sound like she no longer trusts me?"

Sandra shook her head.

"On the contrary...I think she trusts you...but she might be under the pretence that she trusts to know your reaction to matters of this calibre. After all, you were the same once, yes?"

Keeping secrets...denial being his biggest hurdle. The Lyrebird of pretending. Lies to protect himself and others from knowing the real Steven Universe. 

"But wouldn't I...shouldn't I be the perfect one to talk to then? I mean, I know exactly what she's going through. There's the stress, the front to create to the illusion...everything..." He stressed, becoming more frustrated as he threw his hands about in fists.

Sandra lowered her chin.

"In a way, yes." She said.

"However...it's two fold. You could have, for all I can grasp, is that she may have learned that from you have displayed. I won't say it is your fault, but the subconscious can take influences from people and relationships around us. As Children, we learn from our environment and it often difficult to break bad habits if the environment is consistent for a while that you just don't know any better. And these don't necessarily just mean its all from...pro active attempts from our teachers and our peers to teach us certain social codes, it's often taken from every day life. What we accept as the norm is both birthed from passive examinations and conscious actions that form our general expectations of life and the relationships we have with each other. She's seen you at your worst...maybe she fears you seeing her at hers...but I wouldn't be able to say that for sure unless I talk to her directly."

What could be any worse than Connie being outright angry at Steven or something else entirely that she just loses herself entirely? She's thrown herself into the deep end for his sake too many times to count and that was mostly because of what Pearl had taught her way back when. While Steven did call Pearl out on creating this harmful mindset for Connie, Steven could now see, thanks to Sandra, that maybe it wasn't necessarily erasing the mindset, but adjusting in a way that would seem less harsh for her, or her coping in a way that may have been seen as the right choice, but otherwise would still be rather unhealthy.

"She's always been a study bug." Steven said with a bit of fondness.

"And not afraid to speak her mind when it counts. But I feel that's all changed...and I want to know _why._ "

Sandra pursed her lips as she looked down, then looked at him again. The frustrations aspects were eating him more so. It wasn't curiosity, but to be certain in the uncertainty...to erase the orange clouds of doubt and to formulate bonds lost to time and neglect. It had been six months after all and Steven was disappointed in himself in not communicating to her as much as he said he promised her too. With that, the butterfly sat on his right shoulder for that reason and the nightingale on his left.

"Then do what you do best; as you have told me plenty of times; organise a meeting...maybe a meal...a dinner perhaps? Create a world for just the two of you to just talk and enjoy the privacy of your relationship. Connie will tell you when the time is right and at some point, she will be able to let her guard down to you as you have on many moment to her...to babble out her issues and invent that bubble for her to vent too. I can't guarantee that it will work, but if you're careful about it all enough to allow yourself to connect to her, but you need to be...I wouldn't say persistent, but...patient...learn from what she has done for you...so you can do it for her."

She had a point...as always. Connie used to be able to tell Steven a lot from when they were younger. The strict rules that were imposed on her, overbearing as they were and all the dealings with her parents and their general attitudes towards their own child. To Steven, it was like she could barely breath if her schedule never allowed it.

"Yeah I guess." He said with the lack of notable enthusiasm.

He noted Sandra's smile growing wider.

"But remember Steven...you had to be patient with yourself. Nothing is done over night. Connie may never really tell you everything you want to know and that's okay. I'm sure you've got things you never really want to tell most people either."

Like he was going behind her back, in league with her friend to solve the problem? No matter how Steven did not want to do that, there was sense that he had no choice...when in fact he did. Respect for her privacy had gone out the window and this weighed heavily on his shoulders...the thousand or so butterflies waiting their turn for a seat. And everything that had opened on Earth prior, the way his partial feelings had slipped out without his permission of how he really felt about the Gems.

"That's true but..."

There was so much he didn't like about this that he hated himself more so for doing it. But he begrudgingly accepted Sandra's advice. Treat Connie with the same amount of love she'd had provided for him.

"I'll try..."

* * *

The rest of the day, where Steven had time to spare, he whipped a plan for the dinner for the two of them. He'd caught up with the Apatites who served him once before, glad to see them here still enjoying their work. They had a restaurant of their own; some had even gone to Earth to learn about cooking from some of the humans. Which was nice, some had attended Little Homeschool and loved to share what they had discovered there. It made Steven still glad to see Gems at their happiest and most content. So at that moment, while there was still a lot of work ahead of him, it always served him as a reminder, as Sandra had told him, that making people happy is a legitimate achievement...and making yourself happy was just the same. Total contentment, a tranquil balance, however, would be the goal to live a good life.

So if Connie wasn't happy because of all this...mess and confusion, then he was going to do what he did best; to check in with her and to help provide her the space she needed to let her talk without hesitation and without the barriers of society telling her to with hold it. All he had to grasp was that this might not go as quickly as he wanted it to.

Later that night, he received a text from Vivi telling him that she got the data and was going to visit him at some point to share what he found. While Steven did not want to know how she had gone about it (butterflies were the reason), he was relieved to know that she had gotten results. As such, Steven told Vivi that he was going to have a dinner with Connie alone tonight and to meet up with him in his office at her earliest convenience.

Nerves threatened to get the best of him on how much he to play this with the absolute caution it required. If Connie found out it would be disastrous. So he organised a special spot on the roof of the Apatites Restaurant for the evening and told Connie to meet him there around seven o'clock.

Right now, it was about four thirty in the afternoon and once Connie and Vivi had finished their knights training, Connie would return to her room to get herself organised and that a Gem would be able to escort her there and meet up with him. It was meticulous and so many things could go wrong...would Connie question his motives? Would she prod the Gem for reasons why Steven was doing this for? So many issues that would be unaccounted for. So he told Volley to tell the Escort to try and be silent about it, but if Connie wanted to be chatty, that they were free to talk, but not to reveal confidential information. All the while Steven had been texting Vivi like crazy, telling her how scared he was and telling her what had done so far and at this point, she was invaluable with the advice where his brain just kept bringing up worse case scenarios but Vivi would filter through all of them, getting uncanny ideas for those horrible scenarios. It was unlikely, but knowing Connie, she wasn't ignorant. She could see things happening from a mile away.

It was around 4:45 and Steven was wrapping up on some unfinished worked when Volley buzzed Vivi in through the office doors. The air escaped his lungs in the moment of anticipation; sweat rolling down his face in the wrecked state of mind he possessed. Vivi brought out her own phone; which had a pearlescent sheen that was primarily purple, but would show off golds, blues and greens on different angles.

"I know how to hack peoples phones without a trace." Said Vivi as she leaned over his desk.

"It took me a good, say ten minutes but I found some information that you would want to know."

Not that he wanted to know, but he had to know. He leaned over as he folded his arms on the desk, looking down as Vivi scrolled through her screens, showing him the text messages and several images.

"Depending on the phones type and internal software, usually programs that send text of certain fonts to other programs can often look like squares because the system doesn't have the driver or the necessary requirements to display the text. Basically it does not have the same set of font lists in that sense."

Steven nodded. He knew enough about phones to use them, but not always the know how on to fix certain, complex problems. He normally left that up to people like Amethyst whom, had the surprising amount of know how.

"Now the individual known as Four Square? They're actually known by a code name; OCZ-2."

It could have been a Gems identification code, but throughout his time in learning the codes, it didn't match up with anything he had recognised.

"I'll have to have Volley get someone to trace the name to some database...there has to be connection to it. What about Jayhawk?"

Another topic he felt the urgency to look into just as much. Coincidences were talked about. There wasn't anything other explanation on how Steven's instincts figured that this was all linked into quite a large conspiracy...but for what?

"Some messages here talk about little birdies keeping an eye on her. But what that means is anyone's guess."  
Someone watching Connie from afar perhaps? But why? Why Connie?

"But most were still ineligible...most garbled nonsense for all I know. But some of the nonsense was being sent from Connie herself."

Words that struck something sharp in Steven's chest, clenching it. A horribleness encompassed by the dread of the unknown. A darkness unspoken that he absolutely feared was happening...how and why were they doing this to Connie specifically? There was no real reason that he could pinpoint. Connie was special to him yes, but overall, she had nothing to do with Gems on the whole.

Unless...

"Do you think they're trying to get to Connie to get to me?" Steven questioned.

Vivi shrugged, standing back and putting a hand on her hip.

"Dunno..uhh. It's possible? Ya the tip top of the Gem food chain here. There's always the stereotypical trope of stealin' the girl and makin' her handsome hero go out to save her. Bloody uninspired trope if ya ask me."

For what it was worth, the more Steven thought about it, it made more sense. The poisoning of the students, the aim to hurt them...the human side of his life for the goal of hurting Steven in an indirect way. Four Square? Or this...OCZ-2? Were they friend? Or foe? It went over his head over the direction they wanted to take with with this and the overall endgame of the Rebellion. If only he could reach out more, bring more rebels in to figure out their real aim.

"And the whole, distracting the leader with a dilemma that has the potential to escalate? Inspired to...a well, drama filled extent. The Gem populace finding out their leader is weakened because his focus is more on the girl he loves than the entire population he's sworn to guide? I've seen shows that have that as an interesting plot twist. Usually it is someone ya know that's doin' it."

The people he knew were the Rebels. People he's had to fight previously. But this...Organisation of sorts of Earth; he had no clue who they were and how they got in contact with the rebels. The only real link is BYW-3. The poison that almost destroyed his own life. Vivi was exceptionally insightful and knowledgeable too...maybe she really was a Vivianite after all as Jasper described her to be.

"Whether or not any of that is actually true of course. But I'll let you be the judge, Emperor."

The fact he had to save Connie from an unseen foe was what scared him the most. The rebels at least were more direct than this mysterious individual was and it twisted Steven more horribly inside than he had felt before. 

"I'll need to find out about this Organisation on Earth first. But I can't do that when I'm needed here." Steven told her.

"And I can't get a Task Force on Earth that hasn't been trained on Humans yet. It's an entirely different playing field over there."

Vivi pursed her lips.

"I can try." She said.

"I don't need a task force. Tell me what I need to do and I'll..."

Steven sighed, then smiled weakly at her.

"Thanks Vivi, but that's not necessary." He said.

"There's still important Gem regulations in place. Even with all this freedom I've given to them there are still important rules in follow. Can't afford anymore problems than there already are."

The Purple Gem raised an eyebrow.

"You got rid of red tape so you could put more red tape down? Fuck bureaucracy." She said, despite the fact that she and Connie were actually studying a part of it.

"Rebels fight because of the rules in existence do not suit their purpose. You robbed them of that particular purpose. What makes you think, that you're not a fuckin' piece of shit Dictator to them in the first place?"

Words that gave Steven pause and a moment to contemplate, to reflect on his stance. He didn't want Gems to suffer under the Diamonds thumb because they weren't allowed to be who they wanted to be. And the general consensus was that most Gems were happier with Era 3 policies more so than ever and it had him pushing reforms that gave more equality to Gem and organic kind on the whole. But now that he thought about it some more...it was similar to his mindset to when he was younger. How he handled most problems with things he thought were right at the time, but ended up making more issues than intended, proving to him on many moments that maybe what should have been, could have been done differently.

"What your problem is, is that you can't see things from other peoples perspectives. You look at things face value. You see a sad person, you don't want them to be sad so you pull out the stops to make them happy, you want to undo the thing that made them sad and replace it with your version of what could make them happy, sweeping everything that was bad under an rug and calling it a day. Change is a good thing, forcing people to change is not."

His eyes were on the desk in front of him, half-lidded in Vivi's dagger deep explanation, hitting him harder than expected. No, he just wanted people happy...seeing them smile was all he desired and told him everything he needed to know and if they were hurt or were in some need of help, of course Steven wanted to be there for them. The Gem was the opposite of Sandra in the way she talked so abruptly and so harshly...

This wasn't therapy, this was a hard dose of reality shoved down his throat.

"I'm...I'm sorry Vivi..." He said sadly.

"I...just...want to do the right thing by Gems...by humans...by Connie...and people in general. It's not been an easy journey and I'm still screwing things up. I try so hard to balance it out but...how is this working? Is it working at all?"

Vivi nodded.

"I'm only havin' a go at you Steven because I know people whom had promised heaven on Earth if they gave them the chance to run things and they had the best intentions...only to fuck it all up and send shit to hell. But unlike them, I know you don't want that either."

Steven shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

"I see a lot of myself in you. We're...unique...and I'm talking about things that make us who we are. Not talkin' about you being half Gem and half human...and I'm not talkin' about being a Gem who's on the belief of being human all our lives, but it's all the experiences we've had growing up that take their roots in our origins...we're different and we're treated differently. Because they don't fuckin' know us. And they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions because we've...we've been through some shit, you and I. Connie too, now she's thrust on this society that she claims to want help make some changes too. But...reality of her humanity is her downfall...and what happens to her down the road I can't guarantee will be of her best interest in mind."

It was fine at first, but the last part instantly thrust Steven into the Pink State again, as he slammed his hands on the table, that shook the room.

"Connie's humanity is fine! And she's helped me find my humanity!" He roared.

"She's more human than me or _you!_ "

Vivi lifted her chin. So he wanted to argue that now as his power thrummed with his Diamond energies.

"Physically, perhaps..." She said, keeping her voice down low and calm in the face of Steven's wrath.

"Mentally? A Gems mentality is vastly different. I had to remain quiet for the sake of observing Gems and their mannerisms. They're liking human culture so far and mix and matching it is fine. But they're Gems...an alien race. Have you considered that the perspective of these rebels are trying to conserve their own cultures? Fearful for their own being lost because a half-breed was staining their entire race with his...dirty, tainted blood so to speak?"

Steven had to stop the Diamonds from what they were doing and he had to have them help him save the corrupted Gems on Earth because it was their mess they created. They treated his mother horribly, causing her to lash out and resort to extreme measures to get them to stop, even if it didn't help her own cause and made everything worse in the long run. What they were doing, spreading themselves across the universe and taking what wasn't theirs and using up all the resources for their sake of their perfect empire.

It wasn't as if Steven didn't encourage independent colonies. Gems were still free to do as they wished. Just...destroying established colonies because they didn't like what Steven for was uncalled for. So many innocent Gems that didn't deserve that treatment. They had been freed and for all the work Steven had pushed for previously was being wiped off. Effort down the drain...sacrifices worth nothing.

"Am...am I bad person?" Steven said, a tear rolling down his cheek as his voice began to break.

Stoic was all Steven could describe as Vivi's current outlook.

"No. You're not." She said.

Then what was he?

"I don't understand..."

This made sense...it still confused him however. Messed up with no real conclusion to be had on his own terms.

"How do I explain....this is politics Steven. This is how society runs in general. Not everyone is going to agree with you. No matter how hard you might try to change their minds. But that is reality mate. That Ruby was stubborn her beliefs are her own and it is her choice to fight against you, no matter how much of a detriment that was to her own well being. And you know what, I'll level with you here Steven."

She jumped on the desk and swung herself to sit on the edge of the desk itself as she faced Steven, her back slouching as she dangled her legs and shifted them back and forth.

"I fuckin'....hate my Dad. I told you he was an asshole...and he's one of the biggest assholes you'll ever meet. A selfish pig of a man. Drinks a lot...abused the shit out...."

She paused momentarily, his pink state disappearing instantly, losing words and focus as Steven realised what she was doing. She looked at him in silence as he remained still on his own, awaiting her to continue. She shook her head, trying to get out of the funk she'd accidentally found herself in as her eyes went wide. There was something Steven caught on to that Vivi didn't want to reveal yet but it was extremely telling in that alone, so he wanted her to continue but...as Sandra said, he would need to give it time...so he let it go for now.

"Anyway, all you gotta understand is that he was _impossible_ to reason with, given the amount of crap that came out of his mouth on the daily."

Steven held the internal sentiment to the same amount of crap that came out of Vivi's mouth, but she made the most logical sense right now, even if her spouting obscenities was just part of her natural flow.

"I've dealt with impossible before." Steven told her, as he placed his hands together in his lap and interlaced his fingers he twiddled his thumbs, his eyes scanning the floor as memories of him dealing with the Gems over and over came into his head at full force.

"My whole life has been about trying to get people to understand the benefits of being themselves without hurting themselves or others and having such love from deep within. Everyone can change for the better, I figure, if I can bring out their good side and make them feel welcomed, happy..."

Gems...Corrupted Gems. Humans. Diamonds...

"Is that why you get Jasper to pluck out info from people through violence? You're trying to make yourself into a Saint. I hate people like that, Steven, do not become that person." Vivi warned.

Was he though? Was he trying so hard to look like the good guy on the surface that he was in fact, getting others to do the less than moral actions to promote the image of the glistening good boy?

"I don't like doing it that way. Navy gave us no choice." Steven tried to justify.

The laughter Vivi gave in response however, rubbed Steven the wrong way.

"And goodie, goodie two shoes here goes behind his girlfriends back for what, on the fucking belief she's hiding something that she'll never tell you? The good way around, would be what, hi Connie, my love, we're going to look into your phone now, can we have it, pretty please?"

He could have, and he should have...Steven became very disappointed in himself for that reason. And he'd told Connie they'd look into it together but...what stopped him from doing it the honest way?

"I...I don't know..." Steven said as he became solemn. Forget what he thought earlier, how did this become a secondary Therapy Session featuring a second opinion? For reasons Steven could never fathom, she was like Sandra...if Sandra let herself loose....and not just with her tongue.

"I trust Connie, but...I don't trust myself...."

Vivi paused for that moment, confused by Steven's statement as a strange feeling ran down her chest. She'd reflected on all what Connie told her previously and everything Steven had explained to her. He wants to be the better man but otherwise doesn't feel like he is so...no. Vivi had work to do now. She had to look into what being a Vivianite really meant. To figure this all out, Steven could not do it alone. And Vivi was nervous herself at first, but she was willing to get her hands dirty if Steven wasn't and so far, she could feel it from his very manner that he wanted to get this resolved and he genuinely loved Connie that he was the type that didn't know what he would do without her...and separating himself from that dependency became crucial to manage, but ultimately, he didn't have to sacrifice everything...Vivi was learning so much from this alone that she was thinking about her own future, where really, Jayhawk had just been an expensive distraction.

"You don't....Steven...look...forget it...go to your dinner. I'll...do what ever you need me to do. You have a reputation to maintain. Give me the order, what is it that they say, My Diamond?" Vivi said with the Diamond Salute.

A gesture that made Steven feel very ill at the sight of it, as a shiver ran up his spine.

"Just a normal salute is fine Vivi." He said

Working it all out in a straightforward manner had been Steven's ideal approach. He's won and lost colonies several times because of great and terrible tactics, approaches to problems that he'd not yet learned about. He's had the advise from people like Jasper and loyal Emeralds and Nephrites on the best way to deal with issues that come on so quickly that it made his head spin. Ruling wasn't his forte; he learned and grew so much since he'd been here and that primarily the desire to return home was his goal. Going back to Earth was what he could see on the horizon but that horizon was currently in a black hole.

Moral dilemmas were thrown at him on the daily and it was hard to shake the human perspective off and put on his gem eyes to see from their outlook...which was what Vivi made clearer to see. Then, maybe, he does need someone with the knowhow, the willingness to go where Steven would never dare to and he would still be able to hold the respect of the Gems who served him. Even thinking that made Steven's skin crawl with how disgusted he was.

"But okay, I'll let you do this only because you've looked after Connie for me while I've been here...the amount of thoughts I have of just giving it all up just to go back to Earth and continuing to go on what I had planned...it's been six months though Vivi...Six months and I don't know how long this is going to last."

For as long as it needed to. Vivi refused to let him give up that easily. She couldn't quite get Gem culture on the whole, but simply being with him and Connie and on this planet had Vivi understand more than she had ever in her entire life. She owed the both of them for getting this far and in response Vivi felt that ironic sect of freedom and of real purpose now.

"I'll get you to have a chat with Cubedot. She's one of my best agents looking after Earth right now. You rendezvous with her and tell her what you can so you can work out what's going on over there and maybe we'll find out more about this OCZ-2 character. If you need to return back to Earth you can go at any time. Just let me know when so I can tell Connie where you are."

Was he serious?

"You honestly gonna tell her the truth or make up some bullshit to keep her happy?" She questioned.

It took Steven a good thirty seconds to come up with a good response.

"What ever is suitable at the time. I know the ins and outs of Homeworld and I can guess where some of the more...wilder Gems go occasionally. That should keep Connie satisfied."

A phrase that had Vivi burst into suggestive giggling. A sudden mood changer.

"Oh Steven, mate...there's a lot that could keep Connie satisfied...pardon me..." She said, trying to get herself together and be serious. A clearing of the throat and a subtle cough had her do just that. Steven just blinked, again perplexed by Vivi on the whole that he said nothing to that at all.

"Ahem, I mean, yeah alrighty then." 

To his surprise she jumped off the desk and stood right in front of him, accidentally pushing his chair back a bit as she stomped with her two feet tightly together and have a proper hand salute.

"At your command Admiral Universe. I will make haste at once!"

Steven just hoped this wasn't going to bite him later on. He settled the details with Vivi, before he made preparations to leave to the Restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sandra and Vivi are two opposite ends of the spectrum in the way they talk with Steven.


	16. The Dinner 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie have a romantic night out.

Nerves were like they were on fire and skin that was drenched in sweat no matter how many times Steven used a handkerchief to wipe it off. Preparing for a 'delightful' evening, Steven was well dressed in formal uniform; a black suit with padded shoulders. The Diamond authority symbol on each pad and the Pink Diamond on the left hand side of his chest. He could have worn an official hat but he refused to wear it.

The Pebbles had sown it for him, as Steven showed them pictures of what forces on Earth would often wear. They did have a hat made but Steven didn't feel right. It wasn't tight or anything, just the aesthetic looked awful on him, so he made do without it. As for the place for where he was going to dinner? Steven had mapped that out too.

It had been around for the last few months with the Apatites happily at work doing what they do best. A few visits, but Steven could tell they were improving, telling them to watch videos on TubeTube and learning from examples there. Texture, taste, presentation...making sure everything just had the right amount of ingredients, the portions and the care it required to get to be just right. All served to be reminders of how Steven was prior, except with everything else being treated with proper respect.

Getting it all perfect; it was either that or nothing at all. He'd gone through that stage where anything bad could happen and would happen...and it wouldn't. Murphy's Law with a positive twist. Unlike the last ordeal they had, where it all deteriorated faster than anyone could have anticipated. Patience was reserved a thousand fold and reflecting upon himself just required time. Except, Gems have all the time they need to tinker, to mould, to work through again and again for their craft to get better.

Steven didn't...and neither did Connie.

The Restaurant was a tall black building with a faded pink interior. It was _very_ popular with a lot of Gems due them wanting to try the luxury of eating, but they had to warn Gems to make sure they had the appropriate forms to eat. Some Gems had found out the hard way, as reports Volleyball had been receiving were from Gems whom didn't appear to have a good time for those reasons alone.

But where Steven had Connie and himself eating, was located somewhere special, reserved just for the two of them.

Connie entered on the rooftop, being escorted by a Topaz up the stairs, to where Topaz nodded, and Connie thanked her for taking her here before the yellow Gem left with a bow. All Steven paid attention to, was his girlfriend in a stunning ocean blue strapless dress; Steven had the Pebbles offer their services as a treat to Connie to make sure she was taken care of. While he was worried about everything that was going on, it didn't mean he was going to skimp on treating her like a princess. A Princess Knight. The dress itself was snug in the right places, reaching the calves with a side slit from her right thigh downwards, with black stockings, matching flats...and a shawl around her back and forearms.

Her hair and make up were done up as well. Connie still wasn't that into make up over all but she preferred to keep it simple with the blue eyeshadow and mascara, with one of Vivi's associates giving her further tips and pointers.

The roof was a pink and blue Rose Garden, the walls entangled with their divine beauty and candles everywhere to create that romantic glow and fairy lights were dotted in the foliage, reminding Connie of her dorm. The skies had been fading from the dusk coloured purple to the navy shade with stars that dotted the sky, permeating in their natural beauty. The essence of a sweet scent lingered in the air from the flowers, but it wasn't overly potent. In the middle was their round white table, as Steven stood up, smiling at her with all the love he would give to her. His heart was charged, heated with nerve and flabbergasted by how _gorgeous_ she was.

And Connie herself had never seen Steven more handsome in his Diamond Uniform. Looked more official than his normal garb and she absolutely loved it to the point where she too, was almost as speechless. The two approached each other and despite them dating for a long while, Steven would still beg for mercy in how this made him feel overall, like he was still in the stage of disbelief that he was going out with his best friend. A best friend he was also, extremely concerned about.

It could have been the make up, but he saw no trace of anything that suggested Connie had been and was being different. He swallowed, doing the best he could in a tricky situation where he felt the butterflies flying right behind him, urging him to spill everything right in front of her, then cry for her forgiveness.

The look on her face however, the one none the wiser for his actions, still was very valued in having this _very_ special dinner with her _very_ special boyfriend and aimed to make the best of it.

"I never get tired of looking at you like this." Steven said with a nervous smile on his face. He did better to keep it altogether as he did...he's had to put up the masquerade for the efforts before and had trained himself in certain scenarios to keep his cool. Not all unfortunately.

Connie giggled as she cradled her curled hair.

"Thanks, the view from my end isn't that bad. I actually really like you in that suit. Speaks authority and speaks power to me..."

Words he'd never think she would even say, stunning him but he tried so hard not to show it, but his wide eyes betrayed him to where Connie had to further elaborate.

"But it also tells me another....the aesthetic is rather pleasing to the eye."

He had hoped as such. A bit of respect and honour went a long way when it came to clothes. Wearing what would be appropriate and would give off the right attitude and culture to those who would understand. Like his Diamond Suit, it was more human, than Gem in design but otherwise, some other highers went as far as copying the designs in a similar fashion and ended up using it in their line of work. It was encouraged.

Blushing from Connie's compliment was out of his control, not that he was ashamed of it.

"I do aim to please and I was right on target!" He commented.

The two sat down and looked at the big, light pink menus. The variety of items were generally inspired by Earth delicacies. Some with unpronounceable names, probably because they were in an entirely different human language that even the Gem Glyph translations looked a bit off put. He never mentioned the fact he took the time to understand Gem Glyph; further into the way than Pearl had taught him the basics but by now he was able to translate sentences and write legible paragraphs; even so, some words still eluded his tongue. An Aubergine Pearl was nearby on a big black piano, in her custom dress and played for the soft ambience in the background, the keys hit not too harsh but not too soft...resonance of the evening ahead.

The idea was to allow Connie the comfort of relaxation, a proper date with absolutely zero interruptions. Steven's secondary goal of allowing her to open up would be an ongoing premise, if what Sandra had told him gave him any indication that will help matters run not quicker, but smoother. Nerves could tip him over the edge, to cause him to spill out everything he had well guarded thus far...telling her that Four Square had been going under another name? For their sakes, Steven prayed internally, that Vivi would come back with as much information as they required.

Jayhawk held all the answers, all the premise in their livelihood to solve this because as Steven and Connie talked about things over dinner, he just kept hearing horror story after horror story and the worst part of it was Connie being so casual about it, like she this was something that happened all the time. Being raised alongside Gems; getting used to such chaos was more disturbing the more Steven thought about it. He gave points to Sandra for bringing up that point.

Maybe it was Gem kind of drama, but in a school with regular, ordinary humans? Not in a long shot. Paranoia served to whisper in his ear to summon the butterflies, so he tried so hard to keep it all bay, Connie at arms length so she didn't notice him feeling so strange on the surface.

Connie wanted to try the pasta, as Steven resorted to a nice tofu stake. Meals he never really had on Earth, but had always been eager to try. Apatites served them up in no time flat and for all intents and purposes, it was a nice, wholesome evening between the pair. There was laughter on the chatter, as Connie talked about all the crazy shenanigans Vivi would pull and would always try to get Connie roped in. As Connie was an a Scholarship, she couldn't risk being expelled.

"Vivi is a risk taker, I won't deny that." Steven said.

Though what she had told him, or, what she had accidentally slipped to him earlier never left his mind. Whether or not that was worth telling Connie was dependent on if she knew or not.

"For sure!" Connie said in agreement.

"Though she does worry me at times...if it's okay with you, I want to tell you something important...and I hope Vivi herself doesn't mind."

It was more than okay. Connie telling him this would be taken with the correct care and respect it required just like food preparation, especially with everything that had happened so far.

"That night at the Brewery? I didn't tell you the whole story."

With Holly Blue and that random human? Steven nodded, allowing Connie the floor to speak.

"Go on." He said.

Connie took a deep breath, telling him about the two had infiltrated the Brewery to find the information they needed. However, it began as Holly and the Human entered the room, forcing Connie and Vivi to hide underneath one of the desks, but they still eavesdropped on their conversation.

"So despite that, everything went fine...until Vivi got really aggressive, like her eyes went jet black and once the two left, Vivi let off this strange, dark electrical magic that shut everything off around us."

Very strange. Vivi could be aggressive as Connie mentioned but he's never seen her use her powers (other than her tattoo burn ability or what ever she called it) and the jet black eyes were extremely knew. Though, going off the conversation that they had, it sounded like Vivi had lot more going on that they realised. Though now it appeared like it wasn't just Connie that he had to keep an eye on...it sounded like he had to keep an eye on Vivi too, which made him instantly fearful of her now, as she was on Earth on orders...and if it happened again, he wasn't able to help her without Connie finding out...and lying to Connie and keeping secrets from her was bad enough.

So he rummaged his head for ideas. Steven knew Holly, but he didn't know the human with her. But she was involved with BYW-3. So maybe they had to start off with her, being part of this Organisation that may or may not be linked to the Rebellion.

"I'm guessing you know she's a Vivianite?" Connie queried.

Something that had come across, yes...Steven put a piece of tofu steak as he continued.

"Yesh....Jaspher put chu and chu together..." He said, before swallowing.

"Vivi and Vivianite...I didn't _even_ think about that."

Though the look on Connie's face as she played with her pasta had her in state of disbelief.

"But Vivi is short for Vivian." She pointed.

Steven sighed, nodding in agreement. But it was all they really had to go on.

"Yeah and she doesn't look one, according to Jasper." He said.

"They're Gem Private Eyes basically. They wanted know part in this War."

Which was another story for another time.

"But here's what I'm thinking too." Connie said.

"Maybe we should talk to her parents in Australia, get their side of the story to figure out where they found her. A good starting point since we don't really know who this....Scientist was."

A Scientist working for the Brewery in Jayhawk that perhaps had links to the College as well. Connie did mention something about them monitoring students and based on bloodwork they had, one student was on their radar...not Vivi for obvious reasons, but as Steven shoved another piece of steak with a bit of vegetable, he contemplated deeply as he chewed slowly, squinting in thought. Though, speaking about putting two and two together...Steven kept thinking about the horrible conclusion that the rebellion might have been going for Connie to get to Steven had him conjure up the worst idea possible. How this never arrived to him sooner was beyond him, but it was terrifying to imagine if it was the case.

Were they maybe tracking....Connie? Was the Frenzy Incident intentionally so that they could get their hands on her? Lucky they saved her when they did then...or else that would have come out the least pretty. But otherwise he certainly hoped not...Four Square/OCZ-2 was bad enough.

Connie herself hadn't been told on the prospect Steven held up from his last conversation with Vivi but it made some sense...though it did require proof to solidify his concerns. Cumbrous to behold that was for sure and he wanted more evidence against than for. Steven steeled himself and wished he was deadly wrong...

"I was thinking of getting her phone to find her mothers number...or maybe someone she's been talking to that she might not know is a threat. I don't want to, but we might have to."

Steven had a fork near his mouth as she said that, with a piece of tofu steak at the end that felt off as his mouth was still open, frozen over what just been proposed, as once again, Steven locked in a state of disbelief. And her parents? Mother was nice but the father...

"Are you suggesting we go to Australia to have a chat with them?" He queried, his voice a bit unnerved.

Connie shrugged.

"One possibility to consider. If Vivi has a condition we need to know about...whether or not you know about what Vivianites powers are like, if they're similar or..."

Steven didn't even know. He knew so little about those Gems who even barely spoke to begin with. But Connie's proposition...the sheer irony, if she'd ultimately knew what they had done...

"I'll uhhh...touch base with Volley on that one...." He commented, rubbing his neck. Though it gave Steven the perfect framework to take advantage of the topic.

"Speaking of phones, have you gotten anymore messages from Four Square?"

Connie reached into her bag and pulled her phone, filtering through the messages herself. He both wanted to know and didn't and if they had been leading Connie astray, they were going to get to the bottom of this properly.

"Yeah...just...random quotes like 'the saddest thing about betrayal is that it doesn't come from your enemies' and 'betrayal is the only truth that ever sticks'. They're a bit weird when it comes to general chatter. Not a proper conversation, like they just Boogled betrayal quotes and rattled off the first few that came up. Could honestly give credit."

Pupils became pinpricks with more sweat coming down his face. Four Square either was talking about them...or something else on the horizon.

"W-Weird..." Steven said he he tried to look non-chalant.

He heard Connie sigh as she put the phone away and dug away at her pasta, her eyes trailing around the plate.

"I know right, but...that's irrelevant. It's nothing dangerous as far as I'm aware. I'm okay with bizarre advice...."

Until it becomes bad...

"But with Vivi...I mean, now that I think about it, I mean, I have no objections to Vivi herself, but ever since I met her, all this started happening. Like come on Steven, you can't admit that this whole...thing is extremely....off...Gem thinks she's human, gets put into College...and now with this Organisation and the Brewery and Frenzy Incident...this screams massive conspiracy that stretches from multiple humans being involved with a bunch of Gems. They're planning something big."

Big as in, using the Diamond Admirals Girlfriend to get to him? It _was_ big, but did it warrant all this trouble to do so?

"Did she tell you anything about her family?" Steven questioned. 

Connie took another bite and chewed and rubbed her chin. Steven knew bits and pieces, but Connie had to know more for sure.

"Hates her dad, doesn't mind her mom. Or 'mum' as the Aussies put it." She answered.

"Though, I wonder...the Scientist that was there...Holly hadn't been involved with the Organisation for long from what I heard, so maybe the Scientist...a human? May have triggered her....gosh Steven...Vivi must have some link with the Organisation? It fits right? The mysterious past..."

Again, a concept Steven hadn't considered. It was too overly complex, but Detective Connie Maheswaran was right on the case as it was. Everything had been quite coincidental so far, but it had to be more than getting to Steven himself as its endgame...there had to be another resolution that the Rebellion and this Organisation desired. How deep did it run? Who else was involved? It became too difficult to perceieve as such and for what it was worth, Steven wanted this to be a pleasant evening, not one where it required them running off to investigate further. This had to be solved, but right now, Vivi was back on Earth and doing her thing and Vivi, despite what Connie had mentioned, could take care of herself. She was streetsmart, ruthless and fearless...so he had no real reason to be worried about her. It was then Connie smiled, noticing Steven had been lost in the trail, the pursuit to his out shortcomings and revelations.

"I'm so sorry Steven, I didn't mean to drag it all out like that." She said as she took his hand from across the table.

No, it was crucial for him to hear it. It gave him much to deliberate on. Four Square had been giving less grief (albeit still disturbing messages) and Vivi's history still needed to be looked into. For now, they were going to forget their troubles for a few hours until the time came about for them to investigate further.

"It's alright, thanks for not holding back the info." Steven commented.

"The more we have, the easier it will be in the end....now, let's get some dessert! I've seen really good reviews on their Strawberry Ice Cream!"

* * *

After dessert, the couple decided to take a stroll around the busy streets of Homeworld with Connie hooking arms with Steven's as they took their time to see the sights. This area was still a hub for the higher up Gems but anyone could visit if they so wished. The night life here had evolved tremendously, reminding Connie of the big cities of Earth. Complete with giant neon flashing signs, big boards of animated advertisements, huge bridges, streets filled with general gem chatter..the hustle and bustle of it all that had taken a turn for the better. Connie was amazed on how it was filled with so many colours; bright, welcoming colours of yellow, pink, white, blue even greens and oranges and purples on cyber-esque aesthetics..and most of the huge towers were a light green and of blue that cradled the starry skies...making Connie feel so insignificant over all. Gargantuan, but with Steven here, he never made her feel small.

His strolls of confidence were noted, but it was more casual and at a leisurely relaxing pace. They walked past shops and gem buskers playing tunes of their own making and even some ones they'd heard on Earth were playing. Steven pointed out the theatres showing Shakespeare, which somehow had gotten quite popular. Also visiting arcades and using claw machines that instinctively had Connie draw on her competitive soul as she saw the machine hold numerous plushies, to which Steven said a lot of them were based off animals from many planets and were of numerous colours. Connie wanted to get the pink lizard, to which Steven told her it was a Spiked Lars. She giggled, knowing exactly who named it that and why. It took approximately seven tries to get it and only wanted to give it to Steven, who'd been wanting one for ages but never had the time or moment to get one...so he absolutely beamed, going starry eyed as she gave it to him. Connie had always been better than Steven at claw machines and he was quite decent at Arcade games himself. There was always something about those tricky devices that Steven could never quite get a grip on, even as he got older. Still, it made him feel young again, the nostalgic value of soft toys never really fading away.

The bridges between different sections were vast. While they could take transport, there was something so calming about parading the bridges and overlooking the abyss below. It wasn't terrifying, even logically it should be. But being here, as they talked casually and Steven telling her the history of certain places had her fascinated in the new culture Gem life was making for itself...and while Connie was impressed with the way Steven had helped Gem life, it still made her feel quite insecure in the fact of her own being...reminded of the humanity she's had to be concerned about.

Earth itself. Humans, humans that can be just as bad as Gems in her mind and Jayhawk had become a place of distrust and hidden discourse. Here, seemed like paradise compared to what was going on. If Connie had the opportunity to throw away her scholarship for a better education elsewhere then she would take it a heartbeat. If she had the opportunity to throw away her humanity, she could remain here with Steven and help him out with his work.

She would have to return however, and Connie could already see herself falling into a pit of regret being there. Jayhawk had nice people but she had no clue as to who the shady ones were. Every person, therefore, was a suspect. Even Janitors weren't exempted from the rule but....Connie was one girl and fighting against something like this would be considered suicide if a campaign like this was undertaken. The whole system was corrupt, potentially right down to the cops. Connie was tough in the battlefield but not against the shadiest of people, especially when they had rebellion Gems on their side.

A thought that would plague her and that really, if Vivi really wanted to, she could leave Jayhawk and stay here herself if she so desired. She was a Gem...and a Gem had freedom of choice in their existence...and it was a part that Connie had envied...as Steven had taken her to a local garden that was lit up with tiny robonoid fireflies that had been made by a Peridot. It was well visited, with its own set of ponds with imported fish and tour guides explaining their world of origin and how they take care of the creatures.

Through out this fun escape, Connie caught on to minor things that she had Steven had been doing through out...and Steven did too but neither acknowledged it. Every kiss on the cheek sent tiny sparks and some hand holding was a little too tight on occasion and looks of love that sent waves of from head to toe...the visage of smiles, the giggles and laugh and the potent brushes of skin to skin would result in goosebumps. Happiness on levels explored, but another tier had been added and it was any wonder, if this was what they could end up becoming, they had to know...

Walking through the gardens, Connie rested her head on Steven's shoulder, prompting the question.

"Tired?" He asked.

It had been a long day of Knights Training, as Connie had been telling him about different techniques she's learned...some Gems didn't know their strength but Connie had her speed and agility.

"Yeah, but I'm okay..." She said.

While she didn't doubt the scenery, it had come to a point where Connie wanted some peace and quiet. Or to just spend time with Steven...and only Steven. He tugged her hand, prompting her to look at him and his endearing, soul saving smile.

"Want to go back to mine? We can chill there and, I don't know if you're still hungry but we can play some games until the sun comes up?"

Connie giggled.

"Steven what happened to your mandatory eight hours of sleep?" She said with a flirty tone.

His eyelids were half down as he made a devilish grin, striking Connie down with a stare that hit her heart harder than she anticipated.

"Ehhh those are guidelines not rules. I'll get them don't you worry."

* * *

So they went back to Steven's Room at the Palace. Which had since be rearranged by the Pebbles to their liking for a casual night. The lounge room had magenta box couches circled around a light, fluffy pink rug with a dark brown tv stand with a huge wide screen tv, where Steven's Hybrid Console sat. They played for, presumably hours but there wasn't anything bad in the terms of them losing track of time...Connie won a few and Steven won a few...and it was this comfort, residing by themselves like times of old that resounded with Connie the most of how important this kind of casualness can be. Steven had been thoroughly enjoying himself and Connie drank in all the warmth he could provide in being his chirpy old self...but even more as they stirred each up something fierce, as Steven would poke Connie to get her to lose focus or Connie would kick his foot to distract him...funny and harmless as they annoyed and riled up the other, to the point where as they eventually decided to finish after goodness knows long, Connie felt like her heart was going to burst, her stomach churning as Steven laid back against the edge of the couch and stared at the roof as he yawned.

"Ugh...I'm tired...but it's like, that tiredness where even if you close your eyes you can't sleep." He admitted.

In truth, he was feeling the exact way as Connie, but he wasn't sure how he was going to handle it. Sitting up as he stretched his arms, he put one around and just stared at her, aimlessly...a preference to admire her from where he was, too amazed by her beauty to move.

"I can think of many ways to help you sleep." Connie said, before she bit her lip.

Words that confused Steven at first as he furrowed his brows.

"Oh? Like what?" He asked. He really was too tired to think properly...or that his mind was filled with too many lines of thought to muster up a single sensible one.

Connie blushed as she put her hand on Steven's lap, then put another one as she leaned over. She was nervous about this, but...in a way, there wasn't anything that would tell them that it wouldn't come to this point. She tried to appear confident in her intentions, but ended up being quite shy about it, unable to angle herself into a position, her head sinking into her nervous shoulders as they moved back and forth; a visual telling sign to some who would know straight off the bat. It took Steven a moment, until his eyes widened in that delayed realisation, as his face went red as well.

"C-Connie...I..." He stammered, before clearing his throat.

"Oh...okay...um...well, I suppose if you want...would like you to stay here for th-"

"Yes...." Connie answered, a bit too eagerly, as she pushed herself back.

"If you want me to, I certainly can."

The two prepared themselves for bed, as Connie had to head back her room, hastily getting all of her make up off as she changed into her pyjamas - a simple baby blue singlet with light blue shorts with a black heart pattern then returned to Steven's place. She walked up the stairs and was just in time to see his scarred back; a sign that sent something right through her core as he put his pink top on, with yellow boxers. Connie closed the door as Steven turned around, smiling nervously as the two stood there, awkwardly. 

He took her outside to show her the sights, pointing out where they had been and where he had been...and Connie remembered the time they had gone to Homeworld and remembering a lot of the buildings...and even the Battle against Onyx, as Steven mentioned that the repairs for the incident took about eight months to repair a lot the damage...all the while Steven stood behind her with a hand her hip as he held her close and another pointing towards the colourful city-scape. The stars were even more beautiful here with the discussion about constellations bringing on fond childhood memories. As for the natural formations of most of world and the fact that Homeworld had no breeze, Steven stated that if they gave it enough time to repair an ecosystem, that they might be able to simulate the effects of wind just for the experience of it.

Though, for the good it was doing for Gems and their colonies, Connie couldn't help but wonder if Steven changed his mind about what he really wanted in life. If being this...leader and being a leader in general was what he had become accustomed to...if...he'd ever returned to Earth. If he wanted to.

"Steven, when this is all over..." Connie muttered, her eyes focusing on the stars still.

"What do you see yourself doing in the future?"

A debate that he had internally. His travels were meant to help him find pieces of inspiration that would allow him to find that path for himself. So far he had a few ideas, trickling down from possibilities he would deem mundane to most people. He put himself directly behind her and put his arms under hers, holding his hands in front of her stomach as he rested his chin on her shoulder and lightly rocked her back and forth..enough to hear him breath and enough to have her feel his body against her, sending her heart somewhere new.

"It's been a long day, clear and the way that the birds sing..you know it's the middle of spring..." He said in a near whisper.

"I've been gardening and weeding for most of the afternoon and I wipe the sweat off my forehead, unintentionally getting more dirt on it by accident. My eyes travel across the scene and I see a batch of tomatoes that are nice and ripe for the picking, so I take a few, perhaps for dinner. You come through the front door after a hectic day of hard work and throw your suitcase on the couch. I come around and kiss you, welcoming you home with big smile...you tell me off for looking so messy but you don't mind, but I clean my hands and make you a cup of tea to sooth your head. Meanwhile you change into your casual clothes and I listen to you talk as you walk around the house...complaining about clients and co-workers and I let you vent. I wash up, then prepare dinner and I talk about my day, though it wasn't as exciting as yours, you listen, sitting at the dining table as I start cooking. Not sure what I'd be making but I make it anyway. After dinner, we relax on the couch and watch some bad sitcom. Dad calls, checking up. He'll call once a week or once a month and aims to come over but doesn't have the time. We don't either, but we're hoping to make reservations soon to go back to Beach City."

Connie found herself leaning on her side, her elbow in the pill as she smiled at Steven...his envisioning of domestic bliss only sounded more romantic coming from him.

"You have quite the imagination there." She said, almost giggling.

Steven laughed nervously.

"Well, it's similar to a story a guy I met outside a cafe once told me. But the more I think about it, there's nothing wrong with craving simplicity. After dealing with intergalactic dictators and corrupting into a giant monster, you've seen everything. I'm ready to settle down...and I hope you'll join me."

Connie turned her head to the side, gently grabbing his head so she could kiss him.

"You imagine me to be hard at work...hah...you think I'll be dealing with the stubborn and headstrong?" She questioned with a flirty tone.

Steven chuckled.

"You deal with me, what could be worse?" He joked.

A snort came out of her as she turned herself around and wrapped her arms around his neck, with him putting his around her waist. Perhaps what he said would be true. Connie had gotten used to be having to deal with those stubborn and headstrong...knocking said heads together to get it right and to get into thick skulls. She knew that a good fight may always be required to get the point across. She wasn't going to scream, but healthy debates she didn't mind having. Fighting _for_ Steven was another aspect entirely, having to push for him to get his head on straight. It was for his own benefit even if it served Connie more harm than good. She will always fight for him, to her dying breath. That was _not_ up for debate.

"You _are_ a piece of work Steven Universe." Connie continued, as she rubbed her nose against his reddened cheeks.

"But you're entirely worth the effort..."

Closing their eyes and tilting their heads, the two began to kiss, longer and more intensively than they had before. Craving simplicity in itself, was comparible to wanting Steven with her, near her...feel wanted, needed....requested, admired...cherished and blessed....

Everything that would serve to remind Connie why she was in this position to begin with...to the boy who took her in, allowed to follow an impossible journey and now they were at this stage of their lives where they could construct their own futures...panning out towards their own conclusions to what ever dangers, big or small, they could face..and they could face them together.

Was it a human concept? Possibly. Connie cared not for that. Steven had always been Steven and to him, Connie had always been Connie...and he wanted to touch her, kiss her and give her everything she wanted and more...Steven felt like he owed her everything and if logic came across in the realms of the impossible being possible, he'd let her rule Homeworld in his stead. No doubt she'd run it better than he could, but he would rule by her side...the truest of equals...

His imagination would fail him on that count...as he held her close...and his desires, his heart ruling his head as he took them inside, closing the doors as they continued to make out. Connie cut off as she jumped off the bed, with Steven following as they shuffled towards the pillows, returning to her face, grinning as they resumed making out as Steven moved back on top of her. His hands were by her shoulders as her hands ran through his puffy black hair. Bodies moved about and shifted, to where hands were caressing necks and backs, torsos pushed against each other as they let their fiery souls lead them to their needs on this dark night. Steven's hand went to Connie's backside, running down the back of her leg as he brought her knee to sit above his waist.

Wet pops, cut off moans and heavy breaths filled the void of the air...shuffling sheets as Steven temporarily sat up to take off his top. Connie loved every inch of that boy, from head, to his gem...she ran traces around with her index finger, knowing the sensitivity. She could hear his jittered inhales and exhales...and that her grin was at the pure pleasure of teasing him. Her snort ended up having him pull off her top too, revealing her taut chest...obviously telling Steven the news that some feminine figures did not wear their bras to bed...a fact he never knew. So he ended up teasing her back, blowing raspberries on it as it sent her into hysterics. As she had enough, she grabbed hold his hair and gently lifted it up. The room was kind of dark, save for a rare stream of light that poured through the window from a nearby tower that showed Steven the sparkle in Connie's eyes.

"Steven..." She muttered, looking down as she blushed.

"I'm...I'm ready...."

Steven licked the sweat of his lips, trying to get his head around those words and took a bit of an introspective look on himself. He had to hurry on this...was he comfortable? Was he himself ready?

"C-Connie...uh..."

She rested her hand on his puffy cheek, her gentle smile not fading.

"It's okay Steven." She said.

"If you're not..."

He shook his head...no..he needed more time to think. He technically shouldn't be rushing it but...he was worried about ten million other things and this should have been the least of his concerns. This was a human activity and his Dad would always say that he should take his time with it, when ever the occasion would arise. And he loved Connie, for that held no orange of shade of doubt in this room of the purest pinks and the spots of blue. A heart full would remain as such, but could spill if done incorrectly.

He wanted to get this right...or not do it at all.

"No I...I am...I guess...."

Connie put an index finger to his lips.

"Don't guess Steven. I'm not gonna be mad if you're not confident. Again, we can do what we did before...would that be okay?"

Truthfully? Steven's night time thoughts would find their way back during that time in her dorm. It was new, it was fascinating, scary but ultimately satisfying and that the fear drifted away once they were done. But right here, in Steven's place of solace had the both of them yearning for the same resolution. He was eager to try it...in that Connie had him feel stuff that didn't come from anyone else and that in their end, love could be simple as it was complex. She was here and was planning to stay for a while. He could look after her...she would learn how to fight...but he could still keep an eye on her. Right now, she was fine. She was smiling...and a gentle, Connie style one at that. He could he say no? Steven wanted to please her. Make her happy. And making Connie happy made Steven happy.

That was enough.

"No. It's fine Connie. I'm uh...how would it put it without making it too cheesy?"

Connie rolled her eyes, amused.

"Just say you're ready Steven. I'll judge it by your tone." She said.

Ah. Connie always knew what to say. Steven grinned.

"Okay This guy, is ready!" He said.

Connie giggled at how stupid it was on how he said it, but it was good enough.

"Okay King of Romance, get over here so I can kiss you downright silly again!"

Reaching out to rest his lips on her again, it had Steven know the general act was meant to be fun when taken with direct care. Connie had talked about putting a rod in her arm for protection, saying that it was a suggestion Vivi told her one day. Steven was surprised that Connie was talking about their love life, but he learned a lot from his Dad and Connie's mom was a doctor so...he let it slide, believing it was a normal matter to discuss, his Therapist explaining that it was healthy to talk about it, though Steven was never really comfortable in telling all the details to Sandra but she could always tell.

Steven returned to Connie's favourite spot on her neck, preparing to fire her up in the best ways possible. Kissing her from neck, to sternum to chest...peppering her with cute tiny pops on her lovely dark skin as he made his own trails on her body, leaving dots of his saliva on her skin. Her heart ran fast as Steven's hands found their way on to her hips...and the way that Steven's little groans vibrating against her skin...she adored every bit of it. All the experimenting and moving about certainly helped them find out what they could and couldn't do over all...finding out what they liked. She began to writhe in pleasure, pursing her lips and even a tiny shock pulsed through her as Steven's hand roamed around her groin area.

Going back to her face, his grin almost destroyed her...and awaited until his hand began to delve under the shorts...that was...until...

**MMMM MMMM...**

Steven's headset started going off. It was on silent, but at the same time on vibrate. They continued to kiss otherwise as it went off, but it continued...Steven forced himself to disconnect, sighing and groaning as he slammed his head into the pillow beside Connie and annoyed that despite orders, that he was not to be interrupted...unless.

"Sorry Connie, I need to take this." He said, breathless, as he hovered above her, sad.

Connie nodded in understanding, watching Steven as he shuffled himself to the side table and pick up the ear piece and held it against his ear.

"Yeah sorry I'm here, what's up Volley?"

He was calm and collected, but Connie could tell when Steven was irate by the subtle changes in tone. She leaned on her side, unsure of what this call was about.

"She what? Okay, I'll be right over ASAP."

He sat on the edge of the bed and slouched. It was also telling by his second sigh, his lowered head as ran his hand over his face into his hair that he didn't want to leave. He twisted to look at Connie as he shook his head.

"What is it?" She asked.

Steven looked away, unable to look Connie in the eye as he stared at the pillow, but really wasn't focused on anything, his eyes squinting as he made a fist, grabbing the sheets out of frustration.

"It's Vivi. Something's happened. Did you want to come?" He asked.

Connie debated, sitting up and half naked and debating whether or not she should. Part of her was feeling a bit irritated herself for the interruption, but then again, it had the butterfly on her right shoulder telling her that she was interrupting him from his work; being nothing more than a petty distraction of sorts.

"It's okay if you want to stay. Go get some rest...I'll sort this out..."

He reached over and rested his hand on her hip as he gave her a quick kiss...Connie would always want more and for it be longer than he made it to be. What ever happened sounded serious and Vivi being involved with it sounded extra serious...they had talked about this, but she figured Steven would be able to handle this on his own. So she feigned a smile.

"Sure, I'll be here." She told him.

"Please text me to tell me what's happened."

Steven nodded firmly.

"Roger that." He replied, getting off the bed as he went to get dressed in his standard Admiral Uniform.

"Again, I am really, really sorry. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

The reality was, he shouldn't have to make it up. Connie would say that him taking her out to dinner and out and about was the most fun she had in months. This was supposed to be very minor and she had to be grateful for the amount of attention he'd been giving her for the last few hours. And what ever happened to Vivi had to be far more important.

Logically speaking that was what she told herself that was what she had to feel. Instead, she internalised her anger at this...and it wasn't Steven's fault at all. He was in charge after all and this was incredibly important. He should not have been sorry. Those whom had the gall to bother them...should have been sorry...and Connie hated herself for thinking that too. This wasn't crucial or critical...it can be visited again at a later time.

"There's cold bottled water in the fridge...I don't know how long this will take so...don't wait up for me...alright?"

Connie nodded again in understanding.

"Alright, thank you Steven...just...be careful?"

The smile again struck her, as he gave her a quick salute, before he blew her a kiss.

"I will. I promise."

* * *

Of all times, as Steven left his Palace and headed towards the main Diamond Palace to speak with Volley. She had been on Earth and what ever occurred had Volley deem it as important for him to go to check out. It made him think about if what Connie had witnessed before had happened again...this time, more damning.

He felt bad for leaving Connie on her own and leaving her high and dry. He was ready...but priorities were priorities and the downsides of Leadership is that everyone needs you at point or another and Steven had to make sure he had distributed himself fairly among the various departments that relied on his input and permission. Vivi was right. Red tape that he himself had placed to promote measures in standards as part of the bureaucracy.

Connie's words lingered with him too...and he had been honest. He wanted to go home to Earth and be able to live his life in peace...none of this...as Vivi would put it, bullshit. After everything Steven had sacrificed, it felt like more work had been piled on him than what happened previously. Still, he had a status as Diamond to maintain and for every front he put up, he was glad he was able to let his guard down in front of Connie. 

Once he arrived at his office, Volleyball pulled him inside. Spinel was in there by the window and had her hands together in front of her.

"Okay, what's going on? Where's Vivi?" Steven demanded.

Spinel turned around with a sad look on her face, as she looked at Volley, equally distraught and walked towards him as the two Pink Gems stood side by side in front of Steven.

"We got a call to go to Earth from an unknown message Cubedot picked up." Volley said with sadness.

"So I sent Spinel down there and she..."

The Pink Pearl turned her head to Spinel, drawing Steven's attention to her clasped hands. Opening up, she could see a purple squarish gem in her hands... Steven's eyes went wide.

"No...wait...she got poofed?" Steven said, standing back in complete astonishment.

Spinel nodded.

"Yeah..." She said.

"I got to Earth and spoke to Bismuth and she said that this Gem was left at Little Homeworld."

This wasn't good. It made Steven wonder what the heck happened to get her into this position.

"No one knows who delivered the Gem?" Steven question.

"Sadly no." Said Volley, before she tapped her index finger on her lip, looking up in recollection.

"That being said, Cubedot did pick up an extra transmission. Something about ' _Doubt everything, find your own light.'"_

What ever that meant. But it told Steven that this was done intentionally. Someone was out for Vivi. It must have been quite the confrontation...so he'd have to ask Vivi about it once she's reformed.

"Hmm...thank you Spinel, Volley. Leave me with her. I'm gonna wait till she comes back." He said as he took the Gem from Spinel.

Both of the nodded with stern expressions as the saluted Steven and left the room.

-

He put the Gem on his desk as he leaned against it, one hand in his pocket and another texting Connie with what he's found. He half expected her to be asleep, but otherwise she responded quite quickly, asking him if he needed her there with her when she reforms. Staring at the screen on his phone for a minute or two, he realised that Connie had no idea that Vivi had gone to Earth and that the truth would damn him more so, leaving more questions. No. It was best for him to wait for her alone, as he would get her to tell him everything first, before he could decide if Connie should see her or not. He didn't want to, but he told Connie that he'll take care of things and that Connie will see her soon.

Putting his phone back in his pocket, he turned around to stare at Vivi's Gem at it sat underneath his lamp. What had she seen? What had she done? Doubt everything, find your own light? Where had he seen that before? So many questions but it made it obvious to Steven that Vivi was on a track to hunt something down but got caught and had a scuffle against a Gem that was far more skilled than she. He couldn't help but wonder what Vivi had been feeling at the time...she hadn't been poofed before so it was going to be an interesting conversation...technically it was like a taste of death of sorts.

He waited about half an hour but still nothing...and he looked at the time. One thirty am....while it was petty, this was ruining his sleeping patterns...but Steven couldn't sleep anyway...he was too riled up with everything to even think about sleeping properly. What he told Connie before...it was much worse than that now.

At about One fourty six, he could see her Gem starting to glow and rise up. He moved out of the way as her body began to form, but he squinted; it was a lot smaller than her original form...and once her form came to place, the Gem in front of him looked nothing like Vivi.

Purple hair with a side swept fringe, two small high pig tails with shining ribbons. A White polo shirt with long dark purple tights and black sandals. Her eyes were larger and the oddest sense of innocence on her confused face as she opened them and tried to check her surroundings.

"Vivi?" Steven asked.

She looked up at him, puzzled of who she was looking at.

"How...how do you know me?" She asked, her voice oddly soft and low in volume.

Oh geez. What was going on?

"My name is Steven." He said, giving her a smile as he knelt down on one knee.

"You don't remember me?"

Vivi raise a pink to her teeth and dug a fingernail into it.

"No....I don't know you...where's mumma?"

The only conclusion drawn at this point and it was more obvious to him now. He's seen this...he's seen this before. He looked down, his head racing once again at how he was going to fix this.

"I...I don't know where your mumma is..." He said, preferring to be honest.

"But I am a friend. I'm going to help you Vivi. I can help you find her."

She started fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt, her face filled with uncertainty about Steven. His eyes could see her Gem, which made him realise on how he can connect with her.

"Hey you got a belly Gem too? Look!" He said as he raised his shirt to show his off.

"See you and I aren't so different!"

The way Vivi moved her fingers about and her mannerisms...he couldn't judge her age but she was extremely young. All he knew was that Vivi would not be able to recall what happened...but oddly enough, as Steven stood up as he took his phone out, Vivi approached him and ended up hugging his leg and never said another word. She didn't cry...she'd didn't show a smile...she was dead silent. Completely jarring from what Steven knew about Vivi so far. But right now, this had gotten a bit more troubling. So he ended up texting Connie as he promised...as he imagined she might have still been up...or not...

" _Vivi's...okay physically. Emotionally, she's not angry_." He told her.

" _Psychologically? I think she's aged down a few years since you last saw her._ "


	17. The Sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving Connie alone in his room ends up being bad idea.

Ever since Steven left that night, it had Connie feel awfully anxious. Something bad had happened to Vivi and her mind made up all crazy scenarios and she couldn't sleep. She'd taken the liberty to put her top back on as she sat up, alone in his big, comfortable queen sized bed and had her arm wrapped around her knees and her phone by her side, frightful of the next text. The darkness of the room shielded her from any kind of notable signs of Connie crying or for the sake she was digging her nails into her skin without her noticing it.

It wasn't his fault; Connie kept telling herself. He was who he was and this was a priority for him. Compared to Gem kind, Connie was nothing in terms of importance so she begrudgingly let him go. Details of his future had her in it, which was sweet in itself, but it was nothing more than a pipe dream. There were always dreams that would always drive expectations. And Connie would let herself down each and every time. A difference between what she should have been telling herself...that hope was useless when it came to reality.

Reaching out to him wasn't a problem. It was so much patched together that had Connie a bit...overwhelmed by those patches...that contained troves of horrible emotions that she wanted so badly to control. Determination to be there for him; it was what she was trying to be. That Steven insisted that she could be there with him as an equal. When it was further from the truth.

Who was she trying to fool, anyway? Submission to the fact that old insecurities were still there after all this time. She didn't want to be like this...this wasn't the Connie she was supposed to be. She was meant to be there, sword in hand and ready for the next battle. Of either a literal fight or one of wits...she's meant to be ready for it all. Studying hardcore and working so much...it was meant to build for her future...and she wanted Steven to be a part of that future and his vision wasn't too far off the mark. He wanted this but Connie held the doubt and the hope that was there had been fading quickly that...from as far she could see and scope and understand, was this was going to take a long time. The Diamonds weren't around and realistically, Steven was the one sole person that had to be here and no one else. 

Connie was his support...and she wanted to be with him every step of the way but that was impossible right now. Ever since her poor performance and him suggesting her to take Knights Classes really did a number on her psyche...again, it wasn't his fault, but it was like a scar that had been reopened that had been closed for so long...it never healed properly.

What was _wrong_ with her? Wasn't she good _enough_?

"You don't like the fact that you're not important here."

Connie lifted her head, looking to her left hand side to see another version of her younger self...the striped shirt with overalls and long hair...sometimes she missed having it at that length...instead of being shocked, Connie just let her head slump on her bent knees.

"I'm important to Steven. That's a fact." Connie replied.

The Spectral visions had been going on for a while now...robbing Connie of any kind of surprise when they decided to show. She had to be calm about what she was seeing, for what ever reason that Connie tried to use logic on anything to save face. Connie told herself that she wasn't losing her mind. No...that it must have been the after effects of BYW-3 and despite Steven filtering out its toxins, she figured it must have made an impact on her brains. Studies that theorise something going horribly wrong with the frontal lobe and the sensory cortex. She figured, it must have somehow altered or damaged the relations. She was still able to walk, talk, eat and sleep...she still had motor control and memories and everything else that still had her functioning like she had to.

She never told Steven everything because he would over react, pulling out all stops to help her when he had bigger fish to fry. Him finding out about Four Square...it hit her square in the chest. Steven had the best intentions but it still made Connie feel the most bout of anxiety she had ever experienced.

"He doesn't want to hang out with you because he knows something is wrong but you won't admit it."

Another spectral version of Connie appeared at the foot of the bed. One in her Kalari outfit, her braided hair and respective bandages.

"I told him that I was rusty." Connie said.

"I shouldn't have said that. We all make mistakes...."

Unless...Steven was reserved with words at the best and worst of moments...Pearl accidentally calling him by his mothers name and his general reaction, or lack there of...with no words very telling to Connie that it would suggest that he's dealt with this before. He was a romantic and an optimist, but otherwise was very guilty of internalising his actual feelings...and with him seeing a Therapist, there was no need for Connie to deal with most of the issues he had been dealing with prior. She knew she was doing the same exact thing he had been, which terrified Connie to no end.

Which made her wonder, why this had been only coming up now? Was it the BYW-3? Or another issue entirely...

"You want him to get hurt, so he'll come crawling back to you."

That....was a new one. Connie lifted her head, seeing her fifteen year old self in the space suit on the right hand side of the bed..so far she'd been having issues with naming the spectres. All of them stood there, perfectly still with displeasure within the exact frames of mind...all directing towards specific traits.

"You want to hurt everyone that has hurt him too. So many people that you want them to taste your _wrath_..."

Wrath...no...

That wasn't it.

"No I do _not_." Connie said with a little too much emphasis and gruff, her voice muffled by her legs as she wrapped her arms around them much more tightly.

"You won't admit that you _envy_ the attention Steven has given to Vivi." Said the Overalls Connie.

Envy? No...not how and why would she be envious of Vivi? Vivi wasn't even his type and Connie wasn't the one to get jealous over it...it was stupid, incredibly stupid. Finding out what Vivi was, was only for Vivi's sake. And Vivi has done so much for Connie alone that Connie saw her as a really good friend. What kind of friend would feel that way towards another? It wasn't right...it just _wasn't_.

"You're wrong!" Connie called out, annoyed for the obviously incorrect way it was looking at matters.

This was stupid...this was pointless.

"You do not like your _pride_ being beaten to a pulp." Said Training Connie.

Pride? This had nothing to do with her pride! How dare they? How dare they assume that which was never even true. This was absolute nonsense.

"You know absolutely nothing!" Connie called out, her anger getting the better of her.

"I know why you're here. You're BYW-3 getting to my head just the same way as it did to Steven..."

Wrath, the one she had subconsciously named the Spacesuit Connie, smirked.

"You've seen his power and how much anger he could pull off...you can harness that power." She claimed.

Connie stood up on the bed and looked down at these assuming ghosts of goodness knows what. She had to have control before this could get any worse.

"The only thing I want to harness, is what I can do for him for when he needs me." She said.

"You can't assume anything!"

Pride, for what she had subconsciously called the Training Connie, smirked as well.

"Yes, you adore the fact that you are but a cornerstone for him. For someone to lean on. You like how he needs you." She said.

What? No way. That wasn't true.

"Steven and I have a healthy relationship...sure it has its ups and downs but that's what love is! We need each other!" Connie continued. Working through it all was just a part of it and the communication aspect was critical to their development.

It was then, out of nowhere, the spectral individual before her wearing the wedding dress and the white eye patch, popped right in front of her, holding a devious grin and looking Connie right in the eye. Connie didn't want to admit that she was terrified of her.

"Love? Hah...you _lust_ on him, wanting him so badly that your heart would break if he didn't touch you...fascinating... Vivi was a bad influence on you."

Connie stood back in shock. Looking down, they were just...consenting adults who just wanted to express their love. Nothing more than kissing, and the desire to make the other feel good. But now, Connie felt trapped as she started walking backwards to towards the wall, as the four spectres were now on the bed, looking at her with dead eyes and dead expressions all the same, raising their hands in order to grab hold of her. Connie's heart had never raced faster, breathing heavily as her widened eyes looked between the four of him as they got closer. Why, oh _why_ did Connie leave her sword in her room? No....this was just another hallucination. These...things weren't real...it wasn't real, it _wasn't_ real...words that meant nothing to Connie's weakening psyche as everything went into the hyper-real, having experienced the same level of bizarre in Steven's psyche before. So now, with a lot to lose, Connie had her back against the wall, cowering in terror and muttering Steven's name repeatedly and could sight the shades of the world turning green as the four spectres skins had been turning darker hues, scaly as Connie started to cry. Their faces warped and changed, mutating with avian features with disgusting noises. Connie swallowed as she suddenly found an inch of will power within herself as she quickly grabbed a pillow and attempted to swipe the four. Four pairs of eyes swam around her in the dark, decrepit void...watching her closely...and too close for comfort...and the squawks...oh how they shrilled and sent shivers down her spine...she couldn't take this madness anymore.

"STOP IT!" She shouted, her voice breaking.

"STOP THIS RIGHT _NOOWWWW!!!_ "

Feathers went everywhere and Connie couldn't see anything more that black tar like substances everywhere...eyes of glimmering emerald shines and wavy washes of blue that were on an ethereal backdrop. Chains popped up out of the tar and tried to clamp on to Connie's wrists. She could escape them as she kept pulling herself but as she did so, more kept coming, even as she hit them with the pillow. Ants crawled up her legs by the hundreds, spiders were crawling in the random corners, consuming tainted butterflies in their ravenous hunger, as nightingales pecked at Connie's flesh. Reality had disappeared completely and Connie had no where idea what was going on as she kept trying to strike anything and everything, causing feathers of jet black to fly everywhere and obscuring her vision. It wasn't until Connie fell over, and hit her left shoulder on the bed side table as she dropped the floor with a mighty thump. The amount of pain that inflicted on her was intense and excruciating. But it was a light pink carpet that she'd come across...and Steven's Room returned to her.

She inhaled deeply as getting up like she did was nearly impossible. Using her right hand to stabilise her constantly shaky self, she struggled to push herself off the floor and ended up exhaling with a hiss as she leaned her back against the side of the bed, her eyes aimlessly looking out the balcony and into the clear night. She made sure to breath in heavily and exhale cautiously as she brought up her right hand to touch her sore shoulder...and where the tattoo was, was especially sensitive...as a burning sensation took over as she lightly touched it, resulting in another automatic jolt and hiss.

Did she sprain or pop her arm out of its socket? She must have...her mind tried to filter and justify the pain and ignoring it depended on what will power she could spare. It came to her that Steven could heal her, but he would try to figure out why it had been broken. She had to think of a story...what could she say? She simply fell off the bed? It was an accident.

It was an accident.

It _was_ an accident.

She heard her phone go off, which made her jump...it must have been Four Square, laughing at her, tormenting Connie...yes, it was Four Square doing this, wasn't it? Connie forced herself to get onto the bed and reached for her phone despite how much pain it had given her. She was furious and her anger was the only thing fueling her now...though oddly enough, it wasn't Four Square. It was Steven.

" _Vivi's...okay physically. Emotionally, she's not angry_." It said.

" _Psychologically? I think she's aged down a few years since you last saw her._ "

Aged down a few years? But how...that made less sense. But it allowed Connie the distraction she needed, giving herself time to figure out what to do about this mess she caused.

" _As long as she's okay.._." Connie replied back.

" _Do what you have to Steven. She needs you._ "

Words that caused bile to go up throat as she sent it, with more tears being born of sadness than out of her own agony falling down her cheeks.

" _Sorry Connie. This might take me a while_." He said.

" _You're more than welcome to see her._ "

No...no she couldn't...the room was a mess...the bed side table had be tipped over from Connie's carelessness...and a photo of Steven and Connie that had been sitting on that had fallen onto the floor, the glass on the frame cracked around Steven's face. Connie gasped in horror...no, she could fix this. She just...needed someone to help her...but that someone could not be Steven. She'd asked Vivi...if Vivi was...well, going from what Steven had been implying, not exactly in the right frame of mind.

Then again, neither was Connie.

This was so screwed up and Connie hated the fact that she let this happen to herself. She was stupid and careless when she should be with him, supporting him and looking out for him and Vivi...Vivi was her friend and Connie had known her for much longer than Steven had. Pride was right...and Connie hated that too.

"Only if you really need me to." Connie said.

"I trust you to take care of her Steven."

Connie had no inkling of what had actually happened and Steven would be stressed to the max if it was causing him this much drama...how was Connie gonna do this? She wanted to be there for him still...he needed Connie more so and she couldn't even look after herself right now. She damned herself...and tried to think of way that wasn't obvious to him that something was wrong.

"Actually, yes, I do." Steven responded.

Words that perked Connie up much more than intended. Words that she desperately wanted him to say.

"Please get over here as soon as you can. We need to talk about somethIIIIIIII.....SSHYJFAdfsthfkldDKhKDHkdhKDHk"

Connie ended up dropping her phone onto the mattress as Steven's message got corrupted as she was reading it, the back of the screen going from pink to orange in a wave of large, blocky pixels being flipped over and in place of Steven's message...it was Four Square again.

**4/7 Feathers Collected**

* * *

Now wasn't the time for her to panic...this was just another ambiguous message just like all the others that had no real meaning to Connie. Four Square was just being Four Square...weird and ambiguous and with an unknown reason why it preferred to mess with Connie's head. No. Steven needed her; that was Connie's aim and she was going to go to him despite everything.

Connie didn't want to put haste in her movements...but...it wasn't the first time that she'd popped a socket. Tennis practice had its fair few sets of injuries especially when Connie could get into the competitive side of things. A little too eager to prove herself in the court. It wasn't going to be painless...so she psyched herself up for the worst pain imaginable...and pulled her arm in a way that shifted everything back into place...and Connie bit her lip to prevent herself from crying even further. Her tattoo was still relatively tender, but that was the least of her concerns. Looking back at the photo, Connie would get a replacement as soon as she could...Steven wouldn't notice that it was gone, surely, so she put the glass bits into a nearby bin with a dust and pan and took the rest back to her room and hid it in her bag.

No signs of any harm done; as Connie quickly got herself changed into her casual wear; a purple, long sleeved top with a snake coming out of a rose and denim pants. There was a notable bruise starting to form on the left of her forehead and as Connie touched it, could feel the slight bump. Nothing but a bit of foundation and concealer couldn't hide. She brushed her hair to a point where it didn't look so unkempt and grabbed her sword and sheath. She was ready and presentable.

Going outside of the Palace she'd gone to wards the main Throne Room, crossing the bridge on her own accord. It was far too open as without Steven, it still made her feel so tiny...and crossing bridges took forever...so she ran...and ran...to forget everything she had witnessed and gone through and focused on her one goal at that moment to see Steven and Vivi.

Once she'd arrived outside his office, she could see Volley there who noticed Connie and nodded, as she opened the doors to let her inside.

Entering, she instantly noticed Steven on the red couches, with a small purple Gem sitting next to him as she slung on this jacket.

"Steven I'm here!" Connie called out. 

As she ran over, Steven noticed her, as he patted the gems head whom was surprised at seeing another person.

"Hey Connie." He said, though it his voice was a bit weak.

Connie sat on the opposing couch, looking at the Gem as she felt pity...Vivi would not want her to feel that however.

"I see what you mean." Connie commented.

"Did she recognise you?"

Steven shook his head.

"Unfortunately not." He said, looking down at her and giving her tiny smile, though she didn't seem to react, only looking on at Connie with a faint bit of curiosity.

"Signs point towards rejuvenation. Which meant she was attacked by someone who knew what they were doing, with unknown intentions and reset her to her...defaults?"

What? Like that scythe thing Spinel had on Earth? It sent back the gems to their original self, like they had a factory reset. Vivi on the other hand...no, this was really weird.

"I thought all weapons of war were destroyed?" Connie questioned.

As per the third era decree.

"BYW-3 was supposed to be destroyed too, now look what's happened." He said with the hint of sarcasm.

Poor Vivi...minding her own business...unless...

"Wait, where was she anyway?" Connie queried.

Steven looked to his side, pursing his lips before he popped them.

"Uh...not sure. She's got...uhh an all access pass. Not...not sure where she would go..."

Vivi was never one to fear the unknown. There surely had to be some shady part of Homeworld Steven knew about or chose to play dumb in the sense that he would declare said part to never exist. Happens on Earth, and it can happen anywhere else.

"So now what do we do? Bring her memories back the same way you brought the Gems back last time?" Connie suggested.

Steven heaved a huge sigh.

"Maybe...I don't know her as well as you do. And I can't look after her all the time...but..."

Connie could look after her. Steven was a busy man these days and he couldn't afford to have her with him twenty four seven...and he was right, in a way that she knew Vivi better than him...but she would the hunch Steven would fix the problems before Connie would be able to. Instinct guided her on that front and she'd never had to baby sit before.

"Leave it to me Steven." Connie declared with dedication and zeal and a salute.

"I'll look after her as best I can."

Steven grinned...a smile that saved her sanity in most cases.

"Thanks Connie." He said, relieved.

"I've sent agents to find her phone. Still need to see if we can contact her parents. She must have lost it when she got poofed."

So he was going to take her idea after all. It wasn't the best scenario Connie saw herself taking care of, but she was going to swear to protect Vivi until she could turn back to her usual, potty-mouthed self. Steven stood up as Vivi kept clinging on to him, though her piercing eyes never left Connie's and for what ever reason, had her feeling slightly unnerved by them.

"Vivi, this is Connie. Connie is going to look after you, okay?" Steven assured her as he knelt down to her level, resting his hands on her shoulders.

This was against everything Connie thought she knew about Gems. This must have gone back further than they realized but it only served to make it all the obscure in terms of what was understood about Gems and their overall design. Still, she held the mannerisms of a child and Connie would rely on her knowledge in order to take care of her. Connie walked around the coffee table and squatted down before her...as to not intimidate.

"Heya, I'm Connie, nice to meet you Vivi." She said, lending out a hand. Though Vivi only stared at it, before looking back at Connie, whom ended up glancing at Steven, who shrugged.

"You and I can have some fun on our own...we can play some games if you like?"

Vivi loved playing games and Connie could do with pouring hours into one just to get her mind off of all the complications. The purple Gem looked at Steven, then back to Connie.

"Hey that sounds great! I'm not going to be far, I promise to see you soon okay?"

Steven sounding like a Dad was akin to phrases she would liken to the way he would take care of others. She shouldn't have been so surprised of how naturally it came to him.

She eventually disconnected, after much hesitation and went to Connie and if it weren't the fact that Vivi stood out like a grape pancake, Connie would not have been able to know it was her...though as Vivi put her hand on Connie's, Connie instantly received a series of vivid purple flashes with cut off screams, which only took a split second but it was overly potent. She winced as she moved her arm about, which caused instant worry from Steven.

"Everything alright Con?" He asked her.

Oh no...she'd noted it was the tattoo again.

"Yeah, my shoulder's been acting up...I must have worked too hard at Knights Class yesterday." She said.

Steven chuckled as he crossed his arms.

"Need me to kiss it better?"

Connie shook her head, standing up as she took Vivi's hand, although the second time around it didn't do anything.

"It'll be just fine Steven. Maybe I'll do some proper stretches next time...I was...really into it ya know? This one here?"

She tugged on Vivi's hand, knowing how fierce and fearless Vivi was against the hapless Pearl whom looked down on Vivi as a weaker Gem, but Vivi proved her wrong in practice combat.

"She was a natural..."

Steven put his hands into his pockets as he nodded. Despite what had happened to Vivi, he was confident enough that it could be resolved. Waiting for Vivi's phone was a task and a half but he had it under wraps.

"Well, I've got more work to do here...just...take her back to the Palace. Try and put her to sleep otherwise try to keep her entertained. If she happens to talk about anything at all you find..."

Connie knew the drill.

"I will let you know..." She finished off for him, before taking Vivi away.

* * *

Connie kept her calm the entire while, trying so hard not to be worried but failing. On that count, she had been relieved that Vivi was safe, but the fact remained of where Vivi had gone to and what she had been doing there had her rightfully worried. She was silent the entire walk back to the Pink Palace, which had Connie theorising ideas in her head again.

Was Homeworld safe for Gems still? Traitors were everywhere and what Four Square had been sending her recently had now been messages and warnings to watch her back. Was anywhere safe with the rebellion pulling all sorts of tricks? Did Steven have anyone in his own ranks trying to deceive him again? Baseball was back in full swing and they hadn't even seen her...and she knew how to pull strings, her future vision her greatest advantage over anyone and given the results of what happened to Steven...proved she could really do some damage without lifting a finger.

A power most would indeed, envy.

Once they returned to Steven's room, Connie tried to get Vivi as comfortable as she could, trying to think of what a child would need to pass the time and not be too bored. So she put some paper and crayons on the table, though they ended spending the next few hours watching TV; shows streamed from Earth while Connie prepared a coffee for herself. She hadn't slept and keeping an eye on Vivi was absolutely necessary in case she happened to speak her mind for once.

Sitting down on the couch, Connie was next to the straight laced Gem Girl, whom was mostly focusing on the cartoon...The Crying Breakfast Friends reboot. While Connie had her coffee, she was still relatively sleepy irregardless and tried as she might to say away, she must have drifted off briefly, before she felt something nudge her.

"Oh, sorry Vivi." Connie said with a smile.

"Do you need something?"

Though it was less nudging...more pulling up Connie's sleeve, leaving her quite perplexed.

"Is there something on my arm?" Connie queried. 

Vivi kept trying to pull her sleeve up, to the point where Connie just let her do it, until it was up to her shoulder and Vivi had full vision of Connie's tattoo. She ran her fingers over it, the cat on Vivi's shoulder as he eyes scanned its design. It didn't actually sting for once, which Connie discovered to be another notch on the board of weird for her.

Eventually, Vivi pulled herself away and went to the coffee table and grabbed a piece of paper and a black crayon and started drawing. Still mute, Connie leaned over to observe what she had been drawing. It didn't take her long, but on the paper was a marking that looked a bit familiar to her.

Connie blinked as Vivi took the paper to show it to her, rising beside her head with Vivi's other hand on her stomach. It looked similar to her tattoo, which prompted Connie to look at it again.

"Does this mean something to you?" Connie asked.

Vivi blinked and didn't open her mouth at all, instead, her other hand rested on her stomach still and her eyes returned to Connie's tattoo. This had to be important, Connie was so sure. Vivi knew the symbol, but she couldn't tell her what it was. Other than it was an icon of sorts. Though he was busy, Connie decided to take a photo of the the icon and message Steven about it. It took him less than a minute to reply.

" _That's strange._ " He texted back.

" _It looks very similar to the marking Vivi found on Navy's back, except its, upside down?_ "

What marking? Connie wasn't told of any marking.

" _And your tattoo I might add? What is going on?_ "

She was hoping he didn't bring that up...but it would come to the point where coincidences weren't just coincidences. Her Tattoo had been flaring up...where it hadn't caused her a bit of pain since she had it done. For it to be like that now of all occasions, definitely had a much more involved meaning. And Connie knew that; it being inspired from Four Square herself.

" _I''m just as confused as you are. But if it helps in your research, you can use it._ " Connie told him.  
" _It must be linked to Four Square....somehow..._ "

It just had to.

" _Alright. Not much we can do until we get Vivi's phone, but thanks for letting me know_." Steven told her.

" _Keep me posted with her status if anything changes._ "

Connie sighed as she slumped on the couch, exhausted by it all. Vivi continued to draw, with Connie watching if she had drawn anything else of use. It was then her phone went off again...a message from Four Square. Connie rolled her eyes. What did she want now?

_KEEP.HER.SAFE.PLEASE._

_SHE'LL.KEEP.YOU.SAFE_

_DON'T.LET.THEM.GET.HER._

_OR.YOU_


	18. The Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivi's Phone, a Nightmare, a talk with Lars on a voyage to Earth...and Steven's still not feeling too good about this.

It didn't take them long.

Steven had a private field team find it Earth and handed it to Cubedot as soon as they had retrieved it, so the latter would be able to crack into it and let Steven know what ever was inside.

He'd gotten the message and headed to her lab...mostly made of Peridots and other technician Gems, but Steven made sure Cubedot had this room all to herself, spacious, vast with all the materials necessary, with the aesthetics of the room clean, clad in pipes and shades of light greens. Cubedot had the Phone on the bench, as Steven stood on the other side, anxious to figure out what Cubedot had found. Her phone was in bits and pieces but not broken; they were very particular in making sure devices like these were pulled apart with the greatest caution. Either way, Cubedot had her limb enhancers on so she could use her multitude of screens to display the troves of data that she had discovered.

"Give it to me Dot, what should I know?" He said.

The Green Gem used her fingers (or touch stumps as some had called it) and filtered through the scroll, bringing it up and down.

"Vivi had been researching Jayhawk as requested." She said.

"Nothing that stands out as a generic sets of history, but it looks like she made it important to emphasis two particular humans at the school. Not sure why though."

Steven turned the screen around to see the names. Dr. Petunia Schwarz; the Current Dean of Jayhawk, whom had specialised in Biology and Metabiology. The second, was a Professor Celosia Naranca; a former teacher, well renowned in her revolutionary feats in Software Engineering. The former Steven knew Connie had talked about beforehand as part of her Scholarship, the latter Steven would not have a single clue, though the terms of her being a former teacher, it had that cat his shoulder, wanting to know more.

"Did Vivi know the Professor?" Steven queried.

Cubedot pulled the screen around to scroll through some more.

"It says she didn't...but it also says there was a newspaper report talking about her disappearance about twenty years ago. Her impact to Earths, if not, primitive sciences, warranted an entire dorm wing to be named after her."

Steven never really paid much attention to that in all honesty, but as had been the case of the tiny, off-spoken conversations, Connie did happen to mention that the Wing was called The Naranca, but most of it was the D Dorm to most...names not really mattering as legends had faded over time. Irrelevant, however...as Steven began to believe Vivi had some kind of hunch that her disappearance wasn't all as it would seem.

So what Vivi had been looking into so far was history as Cubedot described...Prof. Naranca was definitely a stand out, but what about Dr. Schwarz?

"So as for her...she's the head honcho I would imagine? Would she know all the goings on at Jayhawk like the Diamonds would know everything?"

Steven rubbed his chin. Possibly. Though, imagine what Connie would think if Steven went right up to the Dean and demanded to know what she knew. Steven knew Gems, not humans and their otherwise ambiguous intentions. Innocent, guilty? Steven had no clear way to figure that out..and his only self-named Wild Card was out of commission right now.

"Anything groundbreaking...I mean, well, anything that Vivi said about her own background?" Steven questioned again.

Cubedot hummed, skimming through once more.

"Dr. Schwarz was a Chemist? What's a Chemist?"

Someone who specialised in medicine...Steven froze. All he knew about medicine came from Connie and Connie's mother. Chemists, being distributors of said medicine and understood and could develop the science behind them...and a pill bottles that were stuck in his draw for his illness. More officially, however, described them as those who would study chemistry; with their compounds, substances and elements and their effects.

"People who...literally deal with chemicals for a living." He said, his eyes wide. 

This was crucial. Vivi had to have linked BYW-3 to Dr. Schwarz and her speciality and made a potential connection. Again, like with the Professor, it was hard to say if this was by all means linked...but Vivi had discovered two points to the puzzle and whether or not they were relevant, for how shady Jayhawk appeared to be, it just appeared to be more shadier by the moment. Steven tried so hard to connect the dots...who was to say that the person whom had been with Holly that night was the Doctor herself? There was no literal proof but it made sense. But they were need more to go in even it appeared to fit. He had to question Connie about what the Dean was like, though it would give away to the fact that Vivi had been to Earth without Connie's knowledge.

Connie would figure it out at some point, but it was important for her to be left in the dark...because deep down, Steven felt, within his gut, that Connie's involvement was pivotal...but still a mystery nonetheless. At least the Rebellions intentions were simple; they wanted him dead. Not that he wanted to die persay, but he could handle people trying to kill him. It was nothing new. Speaking of trying to kill, someone had gotten to Vivi with some kind of rejuvenation device...even though most of them had been destroyed. But BYW-3 was supposed to be destroyed as well...so who knows what else had been seeding out there? While Steven knew of the most likely way to restore Vivi's memory, the only issue is what he could use to restore it. Good memories or sad or what not. The premise was there but digging it out of her was pointless.

But...finding it out from her parents? Steven almost forgot.

"Cubedot, did you download the list of her contacts?"

* * *

Calling her mother directly from America to Australia was expensive, so Vivi ended up resorting to using social media to speak with her mother, using Direct Messaging and calls through the messenger service. Cubedot found her underneath 'Mumma Bear.' which Steven found amusing. Her official name was Miranda McCudden and her profile also stated that she too was a Scientist but it didn't go into great detail.

She ended up forwarding the information to Steven's computer in his office, so he could figure out what was going for himself. Heading right on over, he sat down and exhaled heavily. He was exhausted still and checking the time, it was almost 7 am and he had zero sleep. It wouldn't the first late night he'd had, usually with cups of coffee he'd drink to help keep himself awake. Defying the rules wasn't the greatest feeling, though Sandra would say that it was normal to fall back and slip up every once in a while. As long as it didn't happen too often, it would be fine.

Running his fingers over his face, he debated the best way to contact her mother. Going through her social media, it was easy to see the woman had a fondness for the colour purple; purely because of her daughter. Should Steven be honest? Or should he keep her in the dark just like with Connie? No...he had to talk to Connie first. She would know what to do.

He headed back to the Pink Palace shortly after, and going to his room, he was greeted with the pleasant sight. Connie passed out the Couch with the remote in her lap, asleep as Vivi had her head in the formers lap. It warmed his heart greatly even if the scenario so far had been the most strange. Coming back to them like this was a lot better than he expected it to be, standing by the couch and just absorbing the warmth more and more as he stared. Though he couldn't envision what Mrs. McCudden would say if she saw her daughter like this. 

Steven took the remote from Connie's hand and placed it on the coffee table. He wasn't sure if he wanted to disturb the pair, though Connie did begin to stir, batting her eyelids a few times, squinting to see who was in front of her.

"Steven?" She muttered, rubbing her eye.

"Yeah it's me." He said with a smile.

"Good sleep?"

It took her a while to get a grip of her surroundings, before looking down at the resting Vivi on her lap; her head on her hands.

"Kind of? I'm still...what time is it?"

Steven folded up his sleeve and looked his digital watch.

"About seven thirty. Were you two partying hard while I was gone?"

Connie was too tired to retaliate, but in her mind she would have lightly smacked him one, so she made a light snort.

"Of course Steven...you know how Crying Breakfast Friends is...though I was tempted to watch the seventh season of Under the Knife, I doubt Vivi would understand what was going on."

For a satire at least.

"I hope it's better than season six. That show jumped the shark hard....and that was before the shark episode." Steven commented.

He sat down next to her and put his arm around her, allowing her to lean on him and Connie drunk up every drip of him being with her. Waking up with him here already made for a pleasant morning...but she could still go with a few more hours, if she was honest. She didn't know when she fell asleep.

"Have you had your eight hours?" Connie asked, before she yawned and rested her hand on Vivi's head.

Steven't couldn't but wouldn't lie.

"No...but I've got something important..." He told her.

"I've found Vivi's mom. Just need to know how to contact her without it being too weird ya know. Like, hey Mrs. McCudden, ya daughters age has reverted, can we talk about her with you?"

While Connie wouldn't put it that way, Steven was forgetting one thing.

"She _is_ a Gem Steven..." Connie said.

"I mean, yeah Vivi doesn't exactly pass for human in the physical sense, but her mother must love her irregardless. You remember all the weird stuff you went through while growing up?"

Hm...Connie had a point.

"So true." He said, not that he wanted to be reminded as such. He hoped she was like his dad, whom treated most anomalies as some kind of Gem problem, but still put a human touch on it to help fix or balance it out. His level of understanding, love and patience really stood out to Steven. So Mrs. McCudden should be a pleasure to meet if anything else.

"I should message her...but...ya know...I still need my eight hours of sleep...and everything right now should be under control..."

As everything had gone pear shaped so quickly six months prior, that Steven felt bad for leaving Connie so soon back then. While they weren't able to continue to go on with what they doing before, it no longer mattered...being with Connie was enough. He stood up and took off his jacket and folded it over his arm.

"I'm going to bed. I think right now, we'll need to be well rested."

Connie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He was going through with it, after being away from the planet he was supposed to still be on after so long.

"You're really going back to Earth then?" Connie questioned.

Steven nodded. He had to. This was important. Everything was connecting up in ways like a huge, complicated spider web. Vivi had found out so much, so now it was up to Steven and Connie to figure out the rest. And their trail would start with Vivi's origins.

"I am." He said, without hesitation.

"You and I have work to do."

Connie grinned, relishing in the opportunity to work by his side again and she would not stand to fail.

"But...soon...there's no rush." He said.

"Come on, take her with us...she reminds me of Amethyst in the way she sleeps like a log..."

* * *

Steven picked up the slumbering Vivi and carried her in his arms...he wasn't used to her being this small compared to her usually taller self. Connie followed them upstairs as Steven tucked her her in first. Like with Volley, they had her in between them. How Steven became so attached to this, he had no idea. But it wasn't exactly unwelcomed...and if for what ever reason in the unlikely hood that Vivi happened to recall her memories at an unfortunate moment, the worst she do was to knock them both off the bed. Connie watched as he did so, though her eyes kept going to the drawers, hoping Steven didn't notice that the frame was missing. 

But there was comfort here...Existence as silence demanded the calling of ulterior thoughts, but the stare as Connie's eyes lingered on Steven's face as his eyes closed. A take away, a push from the unwarranted and punishing. Natural, as it should be. Her eyelids fluttered down...there wasn't a great deal of sleep that she had...not to mention the less than admitted fact that Connie had been more tired than usual. Uncertain as to why. Maybe all the crazy visions...

And all the crazy dreams. Dreams that were normally repetitive.

For once, she wasn't in the same exact visual scenario. Batting her eyes open, she could see a bright light. The light was, at first quite blinding, until Connie could look around. She couldn't move. She couldn't budge. The white panelled ceiling and as sounds muffled about, she could hear the beeps. She knows those beeps.

She was in a hospital.

Looking down she could see that she was in a hospital gown. Looking to her sides, she was handcuffed and could see the heart monitor on her left. She doesn't remember this scenario at all. Her heartbeat was normal and the room was quite large and bright, the drone of the fluorescent lights above her the bass behind the beeps, creating its tonal music. The general atmosphere reminded Connie hospital her mother worked at, but instead, the feeling of the an inches worth of terror, filtered down her throat.

Connie tried to wrench herself free, pulling on the cuffs as she hard as she could, but to no avail could she be free. Her heartbeat increased, as the monitor started beeping more frequently, though the more she looked at the monitor, its green coloured lines slowly faded to purple. Furrowing her brows, Connie was perplexed...she jumped as she heard birds fluttering about, suddenly seeing dozens of nightingales, hanging off medical equipment. Connie didn't even notice the IV drip hooked up to her arm until just a few minutes it, as a bird sat on the metal railing that held the bag.

The doors on the other side of the room opened, revealing someone clad in their gown, with a face protector, mask and the like that prevented Connie from seeing the persons face. Their figure was feminine and their eyes were dark but without the twinkle of youth behind them. She slapped on her gloves as she approached the bed.

"Good morning, PCZ-3." Said the person, their voice muffled behind the mask. She took the clipboard that was slung over the end of the bed and examined the papers, folding them up.

"Signs are looking good so far...how are you feeling?"

It was then Connie spoke...but the voice...wasn't her own.

" _Cold..._ " She said. The voice was soft and weak.

The figure nodded as she went to Connie's right as she checked the iv bags.

"It will be temporary I assure you." She commented.

"The numbers are looking good. You just have to hold on a little while longer. It will be all over soon...I promise."

She leaned over and ran her hand over Connie's hair, a feeling that wasn't exactly the most pleasant.

"Hey, smile for me?"

She wasn't sure what to do by this point, but those words definitely sent more shivers down Connie's spine...sounding so familiar. This woman pretended to care, not noticing the distress this whole, strange ordeal appeared to be. It was harrowing and it was mindbogglingly troubling as to what Connie had been actually seeing. 

"You're such a good girl...I'll be back tomorrow to check up on you."

The woman left the room shortly after and Connie was still left a little more uncertain than before. The Nightingales began to squawk and their numbers seem to double every time Connie would blink. Hazy and feeling ill; her heartrate increased again. Looking at the monitor, the beeping itself just got faster and faster as her breathing became more laboured. Her struggles went unnoticed as Connie found herself unable to scream or lodge herself free from her confines. Each of the Nightingales eyes flickered between black, orange, green and purple continuously. Black Squares were now on the graffiti'd walls...similar signatures to her tattoo and the other signs she had been seeing a lot more of as late.

She felt sick....and looking down she could see the ooze...as the light flickered back and forth, they went between purple and green....the monitor itself now was going absolutely bonkers...140 BPM, 150 BPM. 160 BPM....180 BPM.

The Nightingales were flying in circles above her body as papers and feathers were torn and gathered into the gusts of their own creation. Black electricity started pulsing out from her body in short bursts.

_You're such a good girl..._

At the end was an explosion of the blackest muck, and out of the explosion heralded a mighty, piercing screech...the sound of clinking chains as everything was swallowed in the darkest, dirtiest void. 

However, she could see her phone sinking in the sludge, blinking orange. Connie tried to reach out, seeing her arm as awfully skinny and gangly and bony with shiny, obsidian like talons instead of fingernails. She was compelled to grab the phone irregardless before it was lost. Voices continued to plague her...

_Connie...you're a good person and I once appreciated you always looking out for me. But now...it's no longer necessary. Go home. Don't waste your time on something that's never gonna change...(^1)_

Rusty gears clunked about nearby, like she was stuck inside of a clock.

_Gotta keep the world turning..._

She tried and she tried, stretching herself thin. It hurt...and the noises, the pain, the burn and the tightened throat as wrapped her long thin fingers around the phone and brought it to her face. Another message from Four Square.

"Keep calm. Listen to him." It said.

How could Connie keep calm through out all this? The message disappeared, with more text replacing it.

" **LISTEN TO HIM LIST-FJFSJfsdfhsfvsdflskjh** "

The text vanished as a flow of pixels in the background warped from orange to pink...the text being written as it went...with the sentience of panic behind it.

_connie...connie...CONNIE!_

And as the short sequence of glowing green eyes opened before her, a cut to black, then a symbol of a huge explosion....then....everything else went silent...

* * *

"CONNIE!"

Her eyes shot open, seeing Steven right above her with a big bout of worry written all over his face, tears dropping from his to her chest as Connie had finally awoken.

"Oh thank goodness...you're..."

He sat back as Connie sat up, looking to her side as she could see Vivi and Steven sitting next to her. Steven wiped his tears away with the black of his arm. His puffy cheeks and his widened eyes indicated he was deeply worried.

"What...what happened?" She asked, before she looked at her ordinary hands.

Steven sighed with relief, the tension lessening around them somewhat.

"I...heard you hyperventilating" He replied...

"I was calling out to you wake up but you wouldn't...Connie did...was that a nightmare?"

Fear struck her chest, as Connie said nothing, frozen in place as she begun to disassociate from a brief moment, before Steven threw his arms around her, surprising her as he made a tight embrace. She hugged him back, leaning into his affections as a need for his warmth to be close to her.

"You...you don't have to say anything...I know how painful nightmares can be. But I'm here if you want to talk about it."

The fact that Steven was stressing about it more than Connie was, had been alarming enough. She'd been focused on the dreams meaning more so than the disturbing imagery that had been shown to her in violent and vivid manner. Disgusting and wretched, more like it...

Connie didn't like it when Steven was stressing. She loathed it. Detested it. This was Connie's problem. Not his. But the message insisted that Connie listen to...well, obviously him. Connie was good at figuring things out more so and the mysteries of her own issues were hers to figure out...if it was causing Steven pain then she didn't want him to absorb it. He's dealt with enough and the stresses of his current position were enough as is. Still, she was glad he was here and that she wasn't alone. Connie didn't want to be alone right now, digging her fingers into Steven's back...

"Maybe I could get you to speak to Sandra." Steven told her.

"If you don't want to talk to me...I could recommend her to you..."

No...Connie did not _want_ therapy. She could see the dreams had been calling out to something, something Connie had to discover and unravel on her own. If this mystery could be solved, then her dreams would go back to normal. That was how it worked after all...

_Smile for me..._

Right?

A grin forged on her face, to be the real thing would be nice if Connie could muster the energy to do so...the face, the form of Steven as he sat back, the expression on his face, endearing, his soul, pure, enchanting on its own that Connie felt the need and the want to protect it at all costs....because she knows where he's been and what he's done and will do everything in her power to make sure he doesn't fall down that road again.

"I'll think about it. Thanks." She said, before kissing him on the cheek to assure him. She looked down at Vivi, stoic faced as ever...Connie was placed into the dream again for that moment...her shades of purple reminding her of such.

"I just want to get this resolved. Let's get ready to go to Earth."

* * *

Steven wasn't too sure about that. He'd been hesitant to talk to people about certain parts of his life...he kind of felt...betrayed by Connie in a way. She's seen every part of him broken and put together and yet, the evidence was glaring to him in portions that had him knowing something was horribly wrong. A nightmare that left Connie struggling to breath on top of the incident at Eezo-5 and her "intense training" at the Knights Class...on top of the tiniest bits and pieces Steven could not stop thinking about. Going behind her back still had him reeling, but it was easier to see that Connie's refusal to admit a more severe underlying issue had him begin to mistrust her and Steven never, ever wanted to feel that way towards her. She might have good intentions, but this was harming her....

Steven loved Connie and he loved her too much to see her do this to herself. This had to be the work of the Rebellion and the Organisation, he was so sure...the same path he had undertaken before and Steven damned himself for not noticing sooner. 

She still functioned, got herself changed, fed and dressed with sword in hand like Connie was on any other day of adventure. Steven's a master of feigning smiles and he's made sure to keep one any time he looked at Connie. Was she none the wiser? Or was his issues previously given Connie the idea that no matter what facade he made, that she would see through it straight away. Which made it all the more difficult to manage. Connie knew the tricks herself.

She wore a blue shirt, denim shorts and her white and red shoes and put her trusty sword on her back as Steven picked out his old pink jacket, black star shirt, jeans and sandals out of the dusty cupboard. It'd been ages since he'd been managing human fronts but he was prepared this time.

Meeting up with Lars at the docking bay, the two travelled with him for a while before they would approach Earth. A sight for sore eyes, it'd been ages since they caught up, considering the last time they did was when Steven had to come back to Homeworld, but Lars had been instrumental in some of the work against the Rebellion. Frontline and support and Steven could not be more thankful.

Connie and Vivi had sat by the controls and introducing Vivi to each of the Off-Colours as the Sun Incinerator zoomed through space. Steven stood with Lars who kept his eye on the pair, discussing the situation they had been looking into.

"Man Universe, that's pretty complicated." Lars commented.

"So she think's she's human huh? She looks like...a little girl."

No doubt about that, though he wondered what Lars would think of Vivi in her normal form.

"She was hit with a rejuvenator." Steven told him.

"She was looking into something and got caught. So we're going to Earth to figure out how we can restore her memories."

Lars nodded.

"I see." He said.

"Oh speaking about Earth, I looked more into that issue you were asking me...you know that hunch I had about the location of the Rebels main base?"

Steven had been so preoccupied with everything else that he'd almost forgot himself. Lars had been obsessed with this theory for ages because of ironic it would be if they actually did end up on Earth. Communications that Cubedot had pulled up only proved that evidence further but there wasn't enough for Steven to go on without an exact location. Lars himself suggested withholding huge squads simply because it could end in disaster for Earth itself. Steven was not willing to let the world end for the umpteenth time due to pure carelessness and lack of planning. He wished he had the Vivianites for this but overall, this did indeed require stealth and subtle infiltration.

"You still think it's on Earth?" Steven queried.

Lars crossed his arms and looked on with pride.

"We've checked systems and colonies wide with a lot of those contacts ya know. Been looking for months and absolutely nothing. None of the agents have come back to me with anything noteworthy...that was until..."

Lars pulled out his phone from his pocket. Steven had ordered a custom one for him that worked with long ranged messages. As long as he was in range with a Gem Comm Buoy. It had Gem tech installed, much similar to the way Diamond Communicators worked.

"Check out this message here."

Steven squinted, but noticed the orange background straight away and the messenger was from an OCZ-2. The same one that had been sent to Connie's phone. The message being;

"DO NOT APPROACH JAYHAWK."

Jayhawk? As the same college Connie attended? This was getting messy. First Frenzy Incident, then the Dean and the missing Professor and now this. Was Four Square...helping them?

"So I was _gonfnkdlns_ f"

"SHHH..." Steven said as he covered Lars mouth.

"Don't let Connie hear you."

Lars raised an eyebrow and pulled Steven's hand off of him.

"What for? Doesn't sh..."

"SHHH."

Lars rolled his eyes. Obviously this required them to have a bit privacy. So he had to make do with Steven's 'demands' for now.

"Hey Flourite you're in charge, Steven and I have important business to discuss."

* * *

Lars took Steven down to the lower parts of the ship near the engine, with the latter sitting on a bench as the former leaning against a nearby wall as he crossed his arms. Lars didn't know the story...and the story was all over the place.

"So what's the deal with Jayhawk?" Lars queried.

"I know Connie goes there...but what's going on?"

Steven could trust Lars more so than anything. He just had to keep his mouth shut if Connie was around. 

"How do I start?" Steven said, as he rubbed his neck.

He told Lars about how both Connie and Vivi attended Jayhawk and the Frenzy Incident in better detail...and how some of the information Vivi obtained was when she visited Earth beforehand without Connie knowing and the knowledge Vivi found implicated two individuals. The Dean of Jayhawk Petunia Schwarz and a missing Professor Celosia Naranca. Lars wouldn't have a clue they were of course, but the fact this had gone all the way back to Jayhawk had Steven worrying hard core.

And his assumption...he told Lars about the horrible idea that Rebellion was trying to get to Connie so they could get to him.

"So the bad guys go after the heroes girl? That's rough buddy." Lars commented.

"You will have to go to Jayhawk...they don't want you to..."

But they had to. It was a clue.

"But Connie will find out. She's super smart Steven and I think if you tell her now about this if you haven't already it's gonna blow up in your face. Trust me, I know what that's like."

As did Steven. Blowing things up and blowing things out of proportion. Absolutely nothing new.

"I do Lars...it's just..."

It was too complicated. Steven could deal with forces left and right if he had to. Fighting, as Steven had to admit himself a while ago while in his role, was inevitable. But if he could avoid further conflict closer to home, it would be nice. But Connie was causing him a great deal of worry and that could serve to make him look weak in the eyes of the others as Jasper had warned him on many occasions that being soft wasn't the best image to be looked at. Kindness was fine but to be rough on the edges was basic leadership that Steven had come to terms with. The sooner he could get the issue with Connie resolved, the better he could be focusing on the Gems. Once he resaid that in his head, it made him look like a awful person and an awful boyfriend.

"It's that you weren't there when I was a horrible monster. Connie sacrificed too much to save me from that. I mean, you'd take one look at me and you'd run away."

Lars rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I'd run away from you anyway as you were...but you're....you're Steven Universe...look, man....you're not cruel, you're not a bad person by far. You're a guy like me who's been put in a position he doesn't want to be in but you know what I did to make my own life better?"

Steven looked up at Lars, whom was charged more so with this type of vigor Steven had never really seen him have previously.

"I've learned and I've sucked it up. Move on. I've enjoyed my life now more than I have ever. Being here with the Off-Colours has brought out the best in me...ME...and no place on Earth had ever given me this level of...let's say contentment. But you know what else, this is because of you."

Well, the resurrecting part was an accident...

"You're nosy, obnoxious but I know you want to bring out the best in people. Heh...I can't even believe though, the leader of this giant Gem Armada, standing before me and its' you...you don't get to where you are without a little bit of controversy."

He didn't expect Lars to give him advice of all people. His conversation with Vivi after the Frenzy Incident came to mind.

_Don't be a fuckwit, help her!_

And Steven had tried to. Tried to get her to speak to him about what ever was bothering her, but she kept shoving that aside like nothing was wrong.

Now why did that sound so familiar?

He didn't want to admit that Lars was right...and Steven had this far. Right now, though, he wondered about Lars' connection to Four Square. They had an interest in Connie, now they had an interest in Lars. Another one with a intriguing connection to Steven.

"Speaking about controversy, that message...have you been getting many of them?"

Lars shook his head and put his hands in his pockets.

"Nope. You recognise it?" He asked.

This was intertwined in the weirdest set of fashions. Steven still couldn't determine their intentions...

"Yeah..." Steven said, exasperated.

"Tell me asap if you get another. I'm keeping track of the individual. They're known as Four Square...that's all you need to know."

Lars wasn't having any of it.

"Steven, there's no reason to hide anything from me. I'm on your side dude, so like if you wanna tell me stuff like Homeworld is going to blow up or somethin' that's kinda important to know...so keep me posted." He called out.

It wasn't that. Steven fell into the chassis of uncertainty again...the shades of amber burning in his heart in the doubt of it all.

Steven rubbed his face, scrunching his eyes in frustration. Lars ended up slamming his hands on the stressing boys shoulders, forcing him to look in his eyes.

"I don't care what you have gone through Steven...hiding stuff at this point from your allies is...well, pointless. Four Square who are they and why should I be worried? I'd like to look after my own butt too ya know."

That....that was true. Steven looked away, as he kept feeling more awful by the moment.

"Four Square..I....I don't know...they've been messaging Connie." Steven told him.

Lars face changed instantly.

"Really? What kind?" He asked.

Did he really want to know?

"I'm not sure. Connie claims Four Square's been hacking her phone. While she was in College, I started getting bizarre pictures from her."

Lars looked to his side, his mind in a different zone completely...a mature zone...but then he remembered this is Steven...bizarre could just be bizarre. Taking that hat off, Lars was prepared to listen seriously.

"But Lars, this morning...she started having nightmares...and that's a sign something is off...but she won't talk to me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

As far as Lars knew, Steven and Connie had been close for years, ever since seeing them together in Beach City, stuck in that pink bubble. Steven, being himself, held the habit of interjecting his entire being into matters that weren't entirely his business. And Lars never saw Steven as the leadership type...only being this annoying kid with this super powerful mom. Lars understood little of the circumstances that made him that way, but being with Gems opened Lars' eyes a great deal. And Steven being a Diamond was considered super important to their society.

Ever since this...whole rebellion debacle started, hearing the tales from comms intercepted by Rhodonite and the Twins...losing the Diamonds...he had this feeling that Steven would be involved...and not long after, Steven had arrived through his hair...asking him to get back to Homeworld asap.

Taking heed in Lars general advice, Steven mustered up with what he could and with what resources were mustered. He had been oddly efficient in getting the ball rolling...this, Armada of his own creation stunned Lars as to how strongly Steven communicated with all of his underlings. Whether or not it was purely because Steven was a Diamond or not, Lars was pretty impressed.

But now Steven was having girl problems...of the irregular sort, but still, Lars could relate.

"Steven, you're gonna have to accept the fact that girls can be a bit hard to figure out." Lars commented on the by to by.

Though that didn't help Steven feel better from the looks of it.

"But she's not just my girlfriend Lars." He stressed.

"She's my best friend...I owe her everything and I want to make her happy."

So Steven had claimed. Lars honestly didn't know what to tell him. Steven got into peoples heads better than anyone can...literally even...

"Just go in her head or somethin'. Don't you remember how to do that?" Lars suggested.

In her head?

"You're saying...I should go into her dreams?" Steven questioned.

Yes. No. What ever Steven could do to make things right. It was up to him to follow up on such matters.

"Do what ever you want to do. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

* * *

Steven had a lot to consider, but entering into Connie's dreams felt so invasive. He'd hesitated to do it unless it was completely necessary. He'd had to do a lot of unsavoury things as of late...but Lars was committed to a stage of...so called controversy. A lot of choices that weighed heavily on generally factored morals. In a sense, where Steven had been playing it safe for far too long. Going back up to the main floor, looking at Vivi as she stood with Connie, reminded Steven of what Vivi had said that he was pretending to be a Saint, where he wasn't.

Butterflies would eternally remain on him for as long as they felt the need, irregardless of Steven's conscious thoughts on the matter. Looking through Vivi's phone was going through the same breaches of trust, although Vivi could find that annoying, he wondered, if Vivi would have told him to do that anyway.

The time came where Steven, Vivi and Connie ventured into Lars' head, taking the stroll through the pink plains, which amazed Vivi as she looked around. Falling out shortly after, Lion had been asleep by Steven's car the entire time, which had been gathering dust in isolation, for so long.

Not making any more delays, Lion warped them across mass distances....the stretching roll the other side of the world was nearly as taxing to him as it was to go to the moon, meanwhile Steven had been messaging Mrs. McCudden about her daughter.

Once they'd arrived, the middle of relative chill day, they found the address, a cottage nestled in a forestry area by a creek, the glow of the afternoon sun dispensing its warmth and the shadows cradling the cold. The fresh smells of long uncut grass and eucalyptus filled the air, the sights and sounds...Steven would have come here if he had wanted to, just...it never came up on his list. It was like something out of a fairy tale, as the cottage was made of a painted red wood and had vines and growth around it, wires poking out from the side of the premise as they linked to a nearby set of power lines on an nearby road by the red dirt spread drive way. Most notably, besides the floral and calm environment, birds here held different chirps, and laughs that were more menacing. Lion sat down, and looked at a long beaked white and brown bird standing on a branch of a tall tree. Steven'd never seen such a thing, the three standing before the beast as they looked up as this comedian that looked like he was chugging air as he squawked. 

"Kookaburra." Vivi said, pointing towards it as she tugged on Steven's hand.

"Does it always laugh like that?" Steven questioned.

Connie remained quiet however, as she kept looking at it with a blank stare. It was like it would sooner chuckle to their misfortune than it would give them something to feel happy about.

"Kookaburras are not bad birds." Vivi explained.

He would believe Vivi if he could, though in the corner of Steven's eye, he could see Connie glancing at it, unsure or lost in her own world. What world Steven wasn't sure how he could get to it without issue.

"They are here to make us happy."

Turning around, he could see a skinny woman with black hair in a bob cut, wrinkles and blue eyes, wearing a light purple blouse and black and frilly knee length skirt and brown boots. Steven almost froze, though Vivi was more than happy to see her them...so the claim was indeed true as Vivi jumped into the womans arms. 

"Mumma!" Vivi cried out.

Wait, this was her?

"Hello there, my princess Aurora." The woman said as she poked Vivi's nose and carried the girl in her arms. She looked at Steven and Connie, whom were left dumbfounded and unsure of what to say or do.

"You must be Steven? Please come in. We need to talk."

* * *

Inside was relatively homely. Wooden walls with lavender couches as well as a fire place, beige carpets and things that wouldn't seem out of the norm in a regular home. Although, Steven did notice something was off, although he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Sitting down on the couches, her mother went to close all the blinds first and foremost, before she made them tea, sitting around by the coffee table as they discussed the dilemma. As the woman, whom told them to call her Miranda, put her cups down, Vivi jumped right next to her and leaned into her side. Once she was done serving, she put her around her smiling daughter, which had been the most happy since she had reformed a day earlier.

But the look on Mirandas face seemed to indicate she knew exactly why they were here, with Steven and Connie sitting on the opposing couch.

"I knew this time would come eventually...someone would be out here, wanting to talk about my little Vivian." Miranda said as she grinned at her daughter and rubbed her head.

Both Steven and Connie had the cats on their shoulders, eager to listen to Miranda explain what she could.

"Sorry about...I know you didn't expect to see her like that. There was...an accident." Steven explained.

Miranda nodded.

"No need to fret. I know what Gems are." Miranda revealed.

"You don't need to worry about me on this. I've done my own research and when you contacted me, I knew exactly who you were too Mr. Universe."

What?

"You know me?" He asked.

Miranda grinned.

"I've made friends with some Gems that have been here before. I know your friend...Pearl was it?"

Miranda knew Pearl?

"We met years ago, mind you. This was when they were travelling the world finding Corrupted Gems you see. But this was before I had Vivi."

And that begs the question.

"How did you...well..." Steven said, not sure of how to put the question into context.

Vivi herself kept looking at Connie, whom had still had said nothing since they'd arrived.

"I knew her mother...a neurotic woman...but I didn't know her too well...we went to school together and kept in touch every so often. She never told me about Vivi until she was...left on my doorstep."

More mystery to solve then.

"Seeing her like this? Well, it is concerning from the older girl I had sent to America in the hopes that she would be protected from her virulent father."

The asshole, as Vivi had put it previously. It was then Miranda took to her daughters cheeks, tugging on them gently as she talked to her.

"Vivi my princess, could you give us a moment to talk? Your old Game Console should be in your room if you want to play for a moment."

Vivi's eyes drifted to Connie for the split second, before she nodded.

"Yes Mum!" She said.

The three watched the girl hop off, running to her room on the other side of the house and slamming the door shut. 

"Vivi...Vivi said he wasn't exactly the nicest person." Steven said.

Miranda took a sip from her tea cup.

"We'd been married for a few years before we adopted Vivi officially. However, he did become more of an alcoholic down the line, which ended with our divorce while she was in high school. His work life was hectic...having to work in a chemical plant will do that to a person."

Steven's mind triggered to multiple things, prompting him to probe more out of her.

"A chemical plant? What kind?" He questioned.

Miranda crossed her legs and covered her front knee with her hands.

"The plant no longer exists. They had to shut it down because of certain incidents. But I'm not sure what they actually made there...my ex husband was part of a filtering process but I never really questioned what he was actually dealing with."

Of course. But still, Steven kept thinking alongside possibilities he couldn't ignore. He wasn't much in the terms of assuming, but assuming too little would be detrimental.

"Miranda, we're hoping to restore Vivi's memories. She was looking into something important...but ended up being....well, as I told you, reset in a way. Anything you can tell us about Vivi's past would be incredibly useful."

Miranda nodded, then leaned on the armrest of the chair and sighed.

"I'd been doing the same thing for years." Miranda said.

"I was never able to find Vivi's mother again and I had roadblock after roadblock. So I started inquiring online. I had found a nice person by the name of Celosia, who had been happy to help...but again, I've had no contact with her recently..."

That name...

"As in, Professor Celosia Naranca?" Steven piqued.

This even drew Connie's attention.

"You know her Steven?" She asked.

Oh geez...she didn't know...Steven looked to the side, hoping to dodge truth without revealing too much.

"Well, her name was on Vivi's phone...she'd been highlighted as a person of interest." He said.

But he wasn't quite sure to tell her that Vivi had been looking into the Dean...his gut told him not yet, not yet...

"When was the last time you spoke to her?" Steven queried.

Miranda squinted and looked around as she tried to recall their last chat.

"Oh I think...maybe about six mon-"

**BANG BANG BANG.**

A loud knock on the door interrupted their chatter.

"Mrs. McCudden, this is the police! Open up!" 

Oh no...

"Mrs. McCudden we need to talk! Please open the door!"

The look on Mirandas face warped considerably, from cheerful to terrified.

"They found out..." She choked.

She stood up and dusted herself off, trying to look confident in front of the pair. Steven still wasn't done yet, but he had an idea.

"Hey, if you're trouble, come with us, we can take you somewhere safe." Steven offered.

Miranda shook her head as Vivi came back into the room, holding a small, portable gaming device in her hand.

"No...leave...and take Vivi with you." She said, pushing her daughter towards Steven, but not before whispering something in her ear. The police kept banging on the door and calling out to her. Tormenting moments turning into precious seconds.

"They know about....no...you need to go to Jayhawk...find the secret there and use the pass phrase, Doubt Everything, Find your Own light...hurry! You can get out through the laundry door."

This was messed up to the core and Steven was stressing hard core. His eyes on the silent and still Connie had him feel more restless than he ever had been, on the verge of panicking he looked up at Miranda as he took Connie and Vivi with him to get out.

"Will I ever see you again?" He asked as they entered the laundry.

Miranda grinned as she straightened herself out.

"I hope so...but I doubt it."

* * *

The three fled the scene, not wanting to cause more problems than they already had to. Lion was standing there as they jumped onto his back and fled immediately. Poor Vivi ended up sobbing, crying into Steven's back as Connie held her from behind as Lion took them somewhere safe.

They ended up somewhere down the creek...nice and isolated with the sound of the waters more pleasant to the ear than the dread of silence. A lack of breeze was noted by Steven, sitting on a fallen log as Vivi sat in between them.

"Mumma gonna be okay?" She asked him.

Steven wasn't so sure. The afternoon suns rays descended up on the crystal clear waters, creating a unique sparkle and glimmer that would prefer Steven to scope into the positive, rather than the negative. So much to think about in those hurried moments, as they hadn't gotten what they really wanted out of Miranda after all. The real mother was no where to be seen, the adopted father long gone as Miranda had isolated herself, still going into the details of her daughters origins. He wanted to know about the Chemical plant to get that cat off of his shoulder, but then he recalled Mirandas last sentence...

She'd been talking to Celosia...and if he heard correctly, the last time she'd heard from her was...six months was it?

"Yeah I think so." Steven said, although how true that was, was a debate for the ages. He looked at Connie, her staring off into space deeply worrying him more so.

"What do you think Connie?"

The girl lifted her chin, supposedly having a focus on a nearby tree.

"Jayhawk...it always comes back to Jayhawk, doesn't it?" Connie stated.

Yeah...it did. She stood up and stood at the edge of the river, looking down at her reflection. Steven wanted to reach out to her, so desperately. This betrayal of the one College she'd wanted to go to for so long...it must have hurt her, badly...this place of solace and learning used for such disgusting tactics for reasons still unknown to them. Lars hunch about the Rebels Base being on Earth raised more questions than answers. They already figured that the Rebels were working alongside the Organisation, so this held more proof.

Though, he still wanted to know what Connie's true feelings of it all were about. Nightmares weren't there for the sake of bad dreams just happening. Something had to have been bothering her so deeply, that she kept pushing it internally. He kept debating on whether or not to talk about Dr. Schwarz, as Connie had spoken of her so fondly too. This must have had roots up to the Dean herself, Steven was certain.

"What are you going to do?" He asked, but somehow, unknowingly, he was hesitant to know the answer.

Connie kept her focus on her own reflection, face distorted by waters ripples. Vivi had since gotten up, going to the edge herself and poked at the waters with a stick, making her own lines in the water.

"I...I've been asking myself that same question Steven." She replied.

"I can't stay at a place that's been popping out on the wrong side of the law. I wanted to learn how to be someone..."

_~~I had to be somewhere, I have to be someone....~~ _

"To be someone who had the power to make changes for the better."

A declaration Steven knew all too well.

"It's the road they want you to take. Because unlike you Steven, with people like me, you don't get things handed to you just because of what you are." She said, her tone changing.

"That's a regular human struggle...to earn..."

Steven wouldn't deny his own struggles on that count. He's had to fight, often twice as hard because of what he was and where he had come from to get people to change their opinions. Wasn't that a human struggle too? He stood up, showing himself on Connie's level as he stood behind her...and her growing anger, frustrations...Steven could feel all of it in her words alone. Not damning, as they were alarming, hearing them from Connie of all people.

"I've had to earn respect too Connie." He said.

"You're not alone in that."

She looked away and rubbed her arm.

"But you're a natural Steven..." She said, her voice weak.

"And I see the way people look at you in awe. The way that they love and treat you with that respect because you can get them to...but remember...you're a Diamond too. Gems are also naturally inclined to listen to you...because they can easily fit into the older roles because that they were made for people like you."

Not everyone respected him of course. The Rebellion was proof of that and Connie knew it...she was just trying to justify something else and Steven knew that her words really meant nothing; but if they had meaning...it was that she was using a smokescreen on her own turmoil; something far more dire in her heart than meets the eye. Steven had been a master of that craft...and it was eyes to a world already visited, signs already seen and understood. The only problem Steven had, was getting Connie to see him...so he grabbed her shoulder and forced her to look at him.

"Connie, I'm still fighting this war...not because I want them to respect me...but I want them to respect everyone...and yes, their opinions of me are relevant to their cause, but I don't care about that. I care about other people getting hurt in their cross fire...Gems, humans..everyone."

And he cared about her the most....and as controversial at it would seem, it was true. Each hand on a shoulder, clinging Connie into place.

"Maybe I cared too much...I was doing all the hard yards and pushing myself to resolve as many issues to clean up the messes the Diamonds made and look where it lead me...nothing but pain and misery, with my monster its fusion."

Connie lifted her head to look at him and the face she couldn't ignore. He was there and not letting go. She couldn't push him away...only, she could push away herself.

"Would you hate me if I said, I wanted to leave Jayhawk, leave Earth behind and stay with you on Homeworld?" She said meekly.

Steven sighed and brought her into a tight hug. This was what he wanted. This was what he had been trying to get out. Of course there were doubts, shrouded in those infamous shades of amber. He felt his own distress pile up and burst out, but he restrained them into simple tears of relief, as Connie began to sob.

"I...don't hate you...that's impossible when all that room I have is filled with love." He said, forcing himself to smile as his cheeks reddened.

"It's entirely up to you. I would always encourage you to follow your heart. Besides, you've already made a tonne of difference...if it wasn't for you, I would have remained a monster forever...you helped me...so I can help others..."

It generally tied back to what Sandra had been telling him in his sessions. About being patient...about allowing her the chance to babble...and that she might not reveal all her secrets now...and that was okay.

_Learn from what she has done for you...so you can do it for her_

They pulled apart as Steven held Connie's cheeks in his hands, his watery eyes darting between her own clouded pair, his intents felt pure in the way that, yes, some decisions may have been listed as...quite immoral in the scope of things, that Steven could still improve on those decisions for the better. There was always a better way to these things...always....

"So let me help you Connie. If you fight those battles in your head. I want to be there, shield in hand. Let me in, open the doors and let me fly with you."

He wiped a tear from her face, as she struggled to maintain her own composure. Letting him to everything she had seen and had yet to see and to Connie, she would think he would be horrified by letting him too close to her. Not Stevonnie close, but something far deeper, far sinister.

Though, Connie didn't deny the amount of love she had for him and she hadn't doubted his love. No...not at all. He was a loving person in his core and that was worth protecting in Connie's eyes. To protect the treasured being of the one whom kept spilling the metaphorical blood out for others on a daily basis and getting nothing back in return.

The take and give discussion, once again. So maybe it was worth giving it a try. She nodded...feeling ashamed of herself.

"I'm sorry Steven..." She said.

"I'll...let you in from now on. If anyone can make sense of this, it's both of us..."

Such words alone from her inner heart...that the doubt was really only there because it only had one perspective. More, could make proper judgement, she figured. To put all the pieces together, to make this their investigation, to save countless worlds from unknown destruction and Gems and humans a like. He wouldn't be doing it alone...and Connie didn't want to. She no longer wanted to. Pointless heart ache that she'd experienced before...recalling how she helped Steven rediscover himself...connecting his sadness, anger, denial, his regrets...and Connie refused to fall apart like that. She wasn't going to. Steven, as it turned out, was like glue. As long as he was with her, she was going to be okay. So he took her face into a kiss, pressing lips briefly to reaffirm their trust and love, warmth enveloping them both in that instant.

As they parted, Connie hen made a face, a devious expression as she blushed and snorted.

" _You_ and that corny charm of yours." She called out. His hands slid of her face and went to the sides of her arms. Steven grinned.

"Hey, if it works, then I am all about growing that corn!" He boasted.

Connie playfully rolled her eyes as she pushed on his chest.

"That doesn't even make sense." She said.

He laughed. He then looked at Vivi, whom had been staring at them the entire time.

"Hey Vivi. Do I sound like a Kookaburra?" He asked.

Vivi stood up and stormed over.

"No...they sound like this..." She said, taking a deep breath.

And the sound she made was enough to have both Steven and Connie trying so hard not to burst out...it was actually good mimicry...her laugh echoing across the trunks that were so real, that it didn't take long for call backs from actual Kookaburras. 

And maybe that they could carry enough of that welcomed serotonin from doing so, to push on for tomorrow...and the days after that. They had more work to do of course. With the idea that Celosia may have still been alive, the mystery of Mrs. McCudden and where they had taken her and why and the entire spectrum of Jayhawk under more suspicion than it had been earlier. For now, they found their wonderland...this truly, natural magical place that they had allowed themselves the peace of hanging around in a lush, green filled forest of resonating peace and prosperity and noisy as birds a while, looking after Vivi, who'd been tremedous all the while, being a pleasure to hang with, as they played games with her and held her hand on each side as she walked across a giant log of a fallen tree, the carefree smile of a child having them both secretly yearn for those nostalgic days once again, reborn in this..mysterious and misunderstood Gem

They even played Lion whom only did so out of Vivi's insistence and Steven and Connie's orders. More laughter in the safety of the floral realm. It was an escape, after all..one that both of the had needed for a while...and that Steven had to have a taste of what he looked forward to coming back to once they succeeded...and they would only spend, just a fraction of time here, before heading back to true noise on Homeworld...

_Just a little time...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Needed, Chapter 8: The Break
> 
> A bit of personal backstory, my mum used to call me Princess Aurora when I was younger, not because of the Disney Princess, but from this really old and obscure anime we had watched as kids.


	19. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven hangs in Connie's Dreams.

He had every right to be worried. Signs of disarray as he had witnessed in many others. The Crystal Gems, Lars, the Diamonds...even Spinel. Signs that were clear.

Signs that were unclear and dreams that had him crying for no reason and Steven was no stranger to visions. It hurt to leave Miranda behind and Vivi was being a great sport in a way where she missed her mother and on the way back, asked the most child like questions...where is she and where are they taking her? Spending time with Vivi was to ensure she was at ease...but mostly, telling Connie that he was going to help her despite her stance on it were words she needed to hear, even if she didn't want to.

Steven could not begin to understand understand everything and anything. Lights dimmed and stars erased. A blankness upon his head, taken out to justifications how this was all meant to fit into some, hundred thousand piece puzzle slammed onto a coffee table. Right now, here they were again, stuck in a motel room until they could figure out their next move. Connie was resting on the bed, looking at the spinning fan on the roof. In another country and in another land, Vivi watched tv, with cartoons that they were surprised that were airing here. He had to make some phone calls to certain places and had gone to the supermarket to purchase some supplies. They had agreed to spend the night in relatively nice hotel. Brighter, cleaner than what they were used to. White walls and roof, a double bed with a single bed on the side besides the bathroom. Green stripes, alongside smaller white and even smaller yellow striped patterned bed sheets and the odd filter of the afternoon sun pouring through the crack in the curtains.

It was supposed to be calm...supposed to be.

He returned shortly after, placing the grocery bags on the bench next to the sink and made them some chamomile tea to help them relax. Looking over at Connie, she was busy on her phone and sitting with Vivi while watching TV. Their talk earlier put her in a good place...but that was only temporary. She looked so...disconnected from the world, her eyes hooked onto the tv as she had Vivi in her lap. Maybe Steven was paranoid...he had to say something to break the awkwardness. Dipping the teabags into a white mugs, Steven felt himself fall into a place of old, where he didn't want to be. He had to...he was the only one there, right then, right now, who could do this. The trickling passage of Connie's downward spiral was going quicker and the sooner he had gotten into her dreams, the more he could find something he could fight for. Fighting for Connie was more prevalent...

There was that sliver of hope in her smile, putting her phone away in front of her as he gave her the mug, looking at him with a shine still there. Steven's paranoia wouldn't let up and he would have to keep a close watch of her. Getting his own tea and sitting next to her, the two talked about what they had to be doing.

"I've told you that my dreams have been really weird lately." She said.

"I kind of don't want you to see them, if I'm being honest."

No, but this was important. If Connie was extremely against it, he wouldn't bother. Her sour mood and dark attitude caught his attention and his resolve to help her was more on his patience than it was to get it done quickly. It took him ages and it still was a long journey for himself, for Connie...it was hard to say how long it would take. Only the time it needed.

"If you want out, let me know." Steven offered.

"I've learned about intrusion into peoples heads. It's not always voluntary."

As many had already known. Connie hummed as she sipped her tea.

"But if there's anything you want to tell me outright, I promise I'm not going to run from it. I know exactly how awfu-"

"It's fine Steven. You can enter my head." She interrupted, trying to keep a smile up.

It wasn't fine. It really wasn't. Connie put up an act far better than he could...when Steven was the master of keeping his issues so close to his chest. No, Connie kept it under her skin and nerve so tightly...only Steven could see underneath it. 

After finishing their drinks, Connie leaned back with her head on the pillow and took a deep breath, resting her hands on her stomach. Closing her eyes as she tried to slumber, it wasn't too long until she fell into it. He couldn't stand it the night before, knowing that she had been having these nightmares without telling him about it. He blamed himself for being too busy and not keeping an eye on her when he had been. This was so messed up. Then it came to poor Vivi. He looked at her, sitting there, without expression but...she had been so patient herself, watching. If Steven had room for more priorities, he would like to know what she was thinking as well.

"We are but Magpies." She added.

Steven raised an eyebrow. He never looked too far into that animal symbolism note to look up Australian animals. First it was Kookaburras, now it was Magpies?

"Mum used to say that I was a Magpie...unpre-unpredida...."

"Unpredictable?" He assumed.

Vivi nodded.

"Mum loves birds. Kookaburras are for happiness and for family....Magpies are badgood?"

She must have assumed something was told to her on that front, that she was....expressive. Not that she was but Steven's seen some memories shine through irregardless of state.

"Unc Steven Echidna. Vivi Magpie. Aunt Connie? Ummm...I'd say she is an Emu!"

An Emu? He's seen those before...how that related to it all was beyond Steven's own grasp.

"Con's an Emu huh..." He said, a bit confused.

"What does that mean?"

Vivi shrugged.

"Mum said somethin' to do with...um...I can't remember...Unc Steven?"

It was weird hearing her call him that. Technically, they weren't that close but somehow Vivi attached to both of them like flies on honey and there was something heartwarming about her talking like that. He was the least bit bothered with her short attention span, common in children her, uh...'age'.

"Yes Viv?" He responded, before finishing his tea and placing his cup on the bedside table.

Her head dropped before she was fidgeting with her fingers.

"I'm not normal...am I?" She questioned.

Oh...an odd question that had a truthful answer in that degree, but this had somehow made it all the more awkward.

"You're a Gem. Like me." He acknowledged.

"But what is normal Vivi?"

~~**THIS ISN'T NORMAL.** ~~

No, he shouldn't be putting that heavy a philosophical question her like that. Maybe when she was back to...oh... _idiot Steven_...

"I mean, you're perfectly normal."

What a lie. But it wasn't exactly true either. How could he begin to explain to Vivi that she was simply older than she remembered she had been and restoring her own memory was hard when even her mother, while it must have been the first part of the puzzle, still had a long way to go to realising who she once was.

"What about Aunt Connie? She's sick isn't she?"

That hit him harder than he expected it too. Suspicion growing alongside the paranoia. Nightingales, butterflies...you name it. Clenching his shirt, he questioned if he was denying that if the things that were disturbing him the most were her lack of communication and the front she pulled...and not to mention the messages he didn't talk about.

Looking at his own phone, she'd been sending him messages...messages he thought were tricks from Four Square. But he'd been getting messages from Cubedot and Volley and Jasper and while their messages were mission responsive dependent on his orders, he trusted the Gems in her service to make do without him most of the time. Even so, similar messages to the ones Connie had been getting, Steven had been trying to ignore himself. Vivi had Connie's phone in her lap...the background itself had changed...

Picking up Connie's phone now, he could see the background, once it was a picture of Connie, Lion and himself. Right now? It was a dark green and nothing else. He unlocked her phone, knowing the code and looked through it, only briefly. But found there was nothing in there anymore. No apps. Only messages, contacts and photos and TubeTube. He swallowed, fearful to look at the last text she received from Four Square. 

**5/7 FEATHERS COLLECTED.**

What did that _even_ mean? He looked at Connie, who didn't seem to be at all bothered by anything....Steven bit his lip, though almost jumped as his phone vibrated. Opening it, it had a similar picture of Connie, Lion and himself with their tongues out...only for the screen to turn the same shade of dark green in a wave of pixels and a message....from Connie's phone? How? She was right next to him. His heart skipped a beat, anxious to look at the text.

He tried to remain quiet, stressing out as he had absolutely no idea what was going on right now. He cautiously put Connie's phone down and opened his own, revealing a unsettling message.

**I SEE YOU STEVEN UNIVERSE**

"Unc Steven?"

He swallowed, almost forgetting Vivi was there as he dropped his phone next to Connie's. How....what....why?

"Is everything okay?"

No. Nothing was okay. But he couldn't freak poor Vivi out. No. He just couldn't. He picked up his phone again as he fumbled...it had gone back to normal and the last message he received was from Volleyball; giving him a report on his fleet status.

"Vivi, I'm going to sleep." He said.

"I uhh....I have my Hybrid Console in my bag if you want to play it. Wake me up if my phone goes off or there's an emergency."

Vivi nodded with affirmation as she smiled.

"Okies!" She said.

In a way, Steven missed her vulgar mouth, much to his dismay, but he liked this sweet side of Vivi just as much. It was much less her vulgarity, more than it was to make sure Steven had his support roles on all bases. Lars was another reminder on that front and Sandra did say that he would find advice in the most unlikely of sources. Right now, he had to focus, reeling in from the internal freak out more so that this was getting a lot worse than he realised. What had he gotten himself into? What did Connie get herself into? Resting his head on his pillow beside Connie, he shifted his head to look at her, his right on hand on his stomach and his left taking Connie's and taking it between them. Everything from the pictures, to her fighting on Eezo-5...even the incident at the Knights Class weighed on Steven heavily...

And it wasn't her fault either. The Rebellion...the Organisation....Jayhawk were to blame. He would swear to himself, that if anything else happened to Connie, he would be prepared to bring it to everyone who would dare to harm her and the true culprits...the pain, the leviathan within him was brewing ever more, whispering words to him, to bring it to their enemies. He shifted back and closed his eyes, and tightened his grip on Connie's hand before he went to sleep.

* * *

It was dark. He should have expected darkness. But there was a lot of ooze and the disgusting noises of squelching and dripping that echoed around him. And a giant throne made of some kind of green marble that looked like it had burst out of the ground.

Connie was up there, long hair and in a turquoise night gown with huge bags under her eyes, leaning on her elbow and was generally apathetic to everything. Crows flew everywhere, their squawks notable. This place was alien more so, shades of sickly lights and dark lime.

"Maybe I should let it happen. It's inevitable..." She said, her voice sounding outright tired.

The grounds around the throne were flat and barren and the skies holding emerald coloured auroras. Empty, as it was vast. Save for the rivers of thick, black liquids. Connie was the only sensible person here, yet...she wasn't making much of it. So, here there in, lie the interrogation, bound by instinct to guide him to the truth. What ever shape or form that might be.

"Let what happen? What's happening Connie?" He asked, steeling himself for an answer he didn't like.

Her fingers tapped repeatedly on the armrest as she sighed.

"Ugh....I can't be bothered to respond to a question you should already know the answer to." She replied, so begrudgingly.

"I have the feeling you've seen this all before. You told me about the ghosts that visited your head. I'm...yawn...just a casual metaphor."

 _Ghosts_? Like...the cyan ghosts he used to see...his eyes widened, falling to his knees as memories of previous event unfolded before his eyes in rapid flashes; potentially confirming his fears, so what he had been believing to be the case so far, was becoming more true. And Steven had a feeling where this was all going...if Connie had been implying that, then he had to stop it. But how? He was already gone by the time he was fixed. How could he prevent this from unfolding and at this rate...it may have been too late. This version of her was so...out of Connie's normal demeanour that it was starting to scare him.

The feathers, something to do with feathers.

"Connie, what do the feathers mean? I want to help." He asked.

She paid less attention to him, and more to her scratching the back of her hand with oddly long fingernails.

"Ask Four Square...she's already been telling you that." Connie suggested, the look of irritation plastered on her face.

No...she wasn't? 

"You ask too many questions Steven. In some cases that's good. In this place? No. Ask Lust. She _wants_ your attention, so I have heard."

Lust? What in the world was Connie talking about?

"You're going to ask it...she's another Ghost. And I've decided I'm Sloth. Now leave...."

"But Connie I..."

" ** _LEAVE!"_**

Her screeches left cracks all around him as the earth shook, as he struggled to maintain his balance. Her face was warped and her eyes were glowing intensely of an abrupt colour of seafoam. How in the world did she have so much power, well, it was her head but this was massive compared and not at all did he anticipate anything of the sort to be created from Connie's subconscious alone. Steven tried to reach out to her, but the ground underneath him gave way, letting him fall...and flashes of his leviathan falling into the Volcano on Eezo-5 came back to haunt him.

He clawed his fingers into the edges of the ground, looking down and seeing acid brewing beneath him. He shouldn't have looked down, looking at how blinding the glow of the acid actually was. Although that was until he felt something on his stomach.

Turning his head....the world changed. Clouds...clouds of mint and white. Calm...but Steven had been more terrified at the figure who sat on him.

"We meet again Steven."

Connie in the puffy white wedding dress with the white eye patch. Oh geez.

"You're Lust? I take it?" He asked.

She grinned, sitting on his stomach, her hands splayed on his chest as she looked at him in a way that made him extremely uncomfortable.

"That's what she calls us." She said, running her finger around his puffy cheek. He felt a bit flushed by it all, but was more scared that he was before.

"We're not as _broken_ as you might think...oh how the mind of a regular human works compared to a half Gem. You're so _strong_...you're _stronger_ than her Steven but she wants to be...and rising hormone levels means she's trying to break the mold to become stronger for you."

Connie was strong. Steven didn't deny that. So why all this? Why all this, splitting her mind apart into these tangible fragments? Also, Lust' Connie's sultry tone was very nerve wracking to hear, especially from Connie. She could be like this but not intentionally. It was only because of what Steven already understand of what was sort of happening, that he could gauge a way to placate himself in the reasons she's like this.

"BYW-3 is damaging your head Connie." He said, fumbling through the guess work as it correlated with old, unwarranted memories of before.

"This is exactly, the same pattern that I went through...."

Lust lifted her chin, before lowering her head and rubbing her nose against his cheeks, which did make his heartbeat quicker than he liked it to be.

"BYW-3. The Chemical. The infamous, _toxic_ chemical that turned you, into a _monster_. A _powerful_ one...and you still held the desire to protect the Galaxy. Oh how one could crave that will power to carry on with your morals, with a mental state such as yours. You're so...incredible...and I feel that energy coming from you right now."

Oh gosh...Steven didn't want this at all. What happened to the real Connie, anyway? She started licking his cheek and giggling in a tone and echo that sent shivers down his spine, becoming more twisted by the moment that Steven had no choice but to push her off.

"I'm sorry, but this isn't the real Connie." He called out, as he stood up, glaring at Lust, whom pretended to look weak and fragile as she sat up off the ground.

"What do _you_ mean?" She said, acting like the sad victim.

"I _am_...part of the real Connie. She _won't_ show it...she _won't_ accept it."

"Because she feels shame."

He looked to his left, as the clouds disappeared and suddenly they were in another version of the Sky Arena, seeing Connie in her training uniform with her sparring sword in her hand, looking furious at Lust.

"Oh Pride, of course...she gives _you_ more room than she does for the rest of _us_." Lust claimed.

"Did you _know_ , Steven...she's the only as _strong_ ast han Wrath...haha...oh she's but an _exceptional_ spectre....hiding awa-"

" **BE GONE LUST!** "

Steven jumped as she stabbed Lust in the chest, only for Lust Connie to laugh and disappear completely; her form glitching before she dissipated into pixels. Was he going to meet the whole gang by this point?

"Sorry about that Steven." Said Pride.

"She can be a little intense."

This version of Connie was a little bit more reasonable and in control...so he would think. He swallowed, contemplating how far was too far in her head.

"Connie, what is going on?" He asked again. Concepts correlations and horrible experiences would tell him plenty...and tell him the answer he didn't want to be true.

"I know this is...this is something like how I was corrupted. Is...is this _corruption_?"

It was but a theory having being lodged in his head, thinking back to how she was almost corrupted in her attempt to cure him of his...and now it was happening again and that the only signs were of her behaviour...nothing physical had been occurring which was probably why Steven never noticed anything sooner.

"You know more about Corruption than I will." She replied, keeping her sword to the side.

"I do not believe I am corrupting. This isn't corruption. But something else...the Rebellion trying to get me. And I will not let it without a fight."

But the signs were there, surely. BYW-3 was one of the core components to it. The other was...

What was the other?

"Corruption only happens to Gems. I am not a Gem."

No. She wasn't. But the signs were there like they were saying she was. Physical manifestations of it, as it was, was purely due to the Gem side's incompatibility issues with the human side. As so the reports had theorised thanks to the Diamonds investigating the matter.

"I only wish I was."

To his other side, out of the eery fog, was Connie in her overalls and glasses. Who was this?

"We are human, Envy. We cannot be anything else." Pride claimed.

This was...Envy Connie...ooooohh boy....

"It isn't your fault Steven." Envy said, as she held herself.

"I wish I could be like you...I wish I had your powers, I wish I had everything given to me like it was given to you."

Was she serious? Pride rolled her eyes.

"We will not be considered as such. We are Connie. We're proud to be human."

Steven wasn't used to this...he was so confused by it all, as it was literally, Connie arguing with herself on a technical basis. 

"Self-Control. You have such self-control. Your pain...it's connected to your wrath." Envy told him.

"We don't know that." Pride stated.

"But we do." Envy continued.

"Steven's fought because of how much he endured, protecting everyone else. Gems, humans it didn't matter. Why can't we have that power to do that for him? Look where he is now?"

Pride Connie looked a bit more ticked off.

"That isn't our fault!" Pride called out, raising her swords towards the meek Envy.

"The Rebellion continues to attempt to break things down. Steven knows this."

And now he was just feeling more awkward here, more so than he was feeling anxious or worried. 

"I know that BYW-3 is doing this to you...but it's not the only thing..." Steven voiced, interrupting their argument...but he didn't know...there was a secondary cause to this. There had to be and Steven understood most of what could be the second underlying cause for for her acting this way. BYW-3 was just a reagent. A similar phenomenon to corruption itself and it was swallowing Connie bit by bit. His spit did nothing to cure this either...it was still festering, and moulding itself like a parasite on her brain and he was distressed because had absolutely no idea how he was going to fix it. He had to fix it, he just had to. The end result, he just didn't want to see it. He just wanted to see Connie happy and healthy.

"Connie, you have to understand that it's not that simple. It's more than a human or a Gem issue now. It's you."

Pride looked at him with a sad look on her face.

"It's me...what do you mean?" She asked.

How was he going to put it...The rebellion had been going on for a while now...teetering on seven to eight months. The Diamonds were gone...Steven's Armada was building and the Rebellion in full swing on multiple colonies because of one, they didn't like the new rules and two, they didn't like Steven. Those reasons are simple for him to understand.

The connections between the Rebellion and to the Organisation...were not. Aiming for Connie to get to Steven was a tactical move to get Steven's struggling psyche to struggle further until he would break down again, but Steven had better methods to defend himself now in that regard. He was better prepared for those kinds of assaults with the support he had been giving to those whom he found to be trustworthy. Volleyball, Jasper...he was grateful for their dedication in such a difficult time. As his Dad once said, not all Wars were good ones but no one was really holding much power over the other. 

Statistics, numbers and overall assaults and offences and defences...Steven's eyes poured over them daily. There were ways to manage this without going overboard. Not because Steven wanted to, but he needed to. Balance had been absolutely critical to him in order to fight this without losing his mind completely. That and his normal contact with his Therapist.

It was unfortunate for Steven that his corruption only occurred because he wasn't doing this properly. He was throwing himself too much into the fire time and time again...the Magpies too little in number. His anger, his sadness not level with the rest of him and had overwhelmed him. What had taken him to his worst was the only way he could begin to emerge at his best. He didn't want Connie to go through that.

"You saw how I was when I was corrupted." He said.

"I was broken as you said. How do you really know you're not broken? I mean, not that you are...it's just...you don't have to feel ashamed if you feel that you're falling apart."

Pride's eyes widened.

"I am _not_ falling apart Steven." She stated.

Words that sounded so familiar too. 

"I can't fall apart, while the Galaxy is still at stake. They want all Diamonds dead. Including you. I won't let that happen."

_~~I can't. I can't. I can't.~~ _

No...this was going to end very badly if Steven didn't intervene. Vivi's words entered into his head yet again. But he had to be patient too. What could he do? As a friend? As a boyfriend? As someone she has sworn to be his knight and jam buddy for? What did Connie need right now so she could see how much this was going to destroy her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"No, it won't. The situation is under control Connie." Steven stated. As much as a Rebellion could be, anyway.

"It's great that you want to help. Really. Right now, I'm focusing on you."

Pride stood back a few steps, puzzled.

"You do not need to focus on me. You need to focus on the Rebellion. We'll find this out. We'll go to Jayhawk and find our answers. We'll save the Galaxy and get Vivi back to normal. That's what we wanted, right?"

Yes. Yes they do. But Steven couldn't function if Connie was on the fritz of losing everything to madness. He couldn't afford that to happen. Steven's priorities were in a tumble, a mess of what was supposed to happen. Maybe everything would have been solved by now if there wasn't anything wrong with Connie maybe they would still be on the path to victory. But this was a circumstance that had been thrown his way, perhaps on purpose. As determined to be the most likely scenario and maybe their biggest weapon to take him down. It wouldn't. So he was going to dismantle that weapon and treat it with the love and kindness she deserved.

"I have to figure out how to get the poison out of you first." Steven declared.

"The Galaxy can wait."

Pride dropped her blade as she covered her eyes with her hands, as it clanked on the ground. Steven started to walk towards her, until he was met the tip of a long pink blade with a very angry Connie behind it, wearing her Space Camp Jump suit as they had hopped over Pride...who disappeared completely.

"I am irrelevant, the Rebellion needs to pay for what it has done. For both the last time, and this time....they've gone too far!" She growled, her eyes burning with green flames behind them,

The atmosphere changed to the interior of the beach house, the lounge room, with the skies outside and dark and the acid of the ocean glowing like some kind of upside down sun. Twilight envisioned in a horrible way. Steven raised his hands in defence, stunned at this version.

"Wrath, I presume." He said, his voice croaking to a point.

This version was the strongest, holding in line with the power of Pride, though right now, that too was kind of imbalanced.

"I am going to fight this menace, whether you like it or not Steven Universe. I know you looked at my phone...you don't trust me."

 _Wh-what?_ How did she? Unless...no...what?

"I...I just wanted to help Connie, I _swear!_ " Steven pleaded. 

She found out, she knew...it had to be Four Square...with her constant messaging and twisting Connie against him in their sick game to get her to...

Wait, was that the idea?

"You're not...Four Square hasn't told you to.. _.kill_ me, have they?" Steven questioned, his heart breaking.

"No. They have not."

Besides Wrath, Sloth reappeared beside her, standing straight and still with half-lidded eyes and in a state of perpetual exhaustion.

"Steven looked in her phone damn it...he doesn't trust her!" Wrath cried out.

Sloth yawned, still relatively apathetic to it all.

"If I could be bothered to explain it all, I would...no. Four Square _isn't_ a bad person." Sloth said.

How did they know that for sure? How did anyone with such ambiguous motives towards Connie. Hurt? Help? What were they trying to do to begin with?

"Connie, you don't know that." Steven called out, merely out of frustration.

"Look around you, arguing with yourself, it isn't fun!"

In that moment, as if it was responding to Steven's subconscious instead of Connie's, the world of around them turned a shift of orange; a blank slate of it phasing in without warning. Steven began to panic, looking around, then looked down at his hand as he held Connie's phone. Another message from Four Square.

**6/7 FEATHERS COLLECTED.**

Steven growled, having enough of this nonsense. This had to be dealt with, whether Connie liked it or not. He loved her, but this was getting ridiculous. She wasn't being logical at all and...despite his eagerness to get this resolved, he just had to hear out...no matter how many there were or how many forms she took. 

The orange returned to a library, as Steven looked around. It was night time...the green moon shining through the windows. A table was nearby, with a person slouching over, shrouded in parts moonlight and shadow. Wearing a white and light blue striped polo shirt and beige shorts. Going from the black hair, it another to be another one, so Steven was a bit uncertain of how to approach her. He heard her whispering under her breath at a rapid pace.

He reached out with his hand, albeit reluctantly, as books began to fall out of the places on the nearby bookshelves that almost scared him to death as he made an unintentional squeak.

"There's so much knowledge out there, but so little time to consume it all. If I wasn't so hungry, I'd be like envy. But no...I am not a Gem. So there's a lot to see here Steven that I need to absorb." She muttered.

He stood behind her eye, the table filled to the brim with books as she had one opened before her... a big beefy one filled with...squares. Hundreds of squares. All the same shape and size. Nothing else.

"But you know more than you think you do. But it takes a while to remember it all. I wonder, if we ate Gems, we would gain a sum of their memories? Think of the applications...so...delicious."

Steven gulped. Okay, this one was definitely the creepiest.

"Who....who are you?" Steven asked, terrified.

Connie grinned as she turned to him. To anyone else, that would be happy, driven Connie. To Steven, he knows there's a side of Connie he didn't want to see. She studied a lot and studied hard and worked hard all her life. Surely, Connie didn't actually want to eat Gems. Because that would be one, gross and two...if Steven did it, would it be considered cannibalism? He no long wanted to think about it.

"I am Gluttony." Connie answered.

"My stomach growls for the unknown...my tongue tasting something new every day. Surely, Steven, you have this hunger too."

No...not really. Not anymore, anyway.

"I would like to know only for...useful applications..." He admitted. Things he needed to know...things that would be used in day to day life for general functionality.

"Shame." Gluttony stated.

"She texted Four Square all the time...useful but often not. I think Four Square is...of a great benefit to this case. For I see things clearer than the others. Lust hungers for you alone, Wrath just wants to destroy everything, Pride protects and tries to justify, Envy just yearns and Sloth doesn't really care. One piece of us is missing however...and Four Square has been trying to get them all.....you know, the Feathers?"

The Feathers...is that what this was?

"Why would Four Square be trying to collect...what ever...she's trying to collect?" Steven questioned.

Gluttony looked away and pondered.

"I do not know. I want to find out those tasty secrets of hers. But she won't tell me. But...perhaps you might be able to find those answers for me? Maybe, everything we've come to know...the Frenzy Incident, the Organisation...what if, what Miranda was telling us was literally all at Jayhawk?"

Could it be though? The only real threads were the Dean and the Professor. And if the Dean discovered that they had found out that there was something evil lurking at the College, then all hell would break lose.

"My dream. The Dream in the hospital. There was a woman." Gluttony continued.

"I wanted to know who she was..she seemed to know me."

Was this the nightmare she had last night? More books seemed fall off of the shelves, creating huge messy mountainous piles.

"She called me. PCZ-3. I don't know them."

No way.

"That has to be related to OCZ-2. Somehow. I mean, that _is_ Four Square, so who is PCZ-3 then?" Steven wondered.

The green faded...replaced by hues of purple.

"I kept seeing it. I kept seeing purple." Gluttony muttered, looking on as lights danced around like the night and day cycle had been put on fast forward, the sun and the moon reappearing and disappearing in rapid intervals. Gotta keep the world turning...

gotta keep the world turning, _gotta keep the world turning..._

Lust returned in that instant, out of absolutely no where with a big, goofy grin her face.

"Steven is definitely right. We should be listening to him."

As did Pride.

"We should be listening to ourselves!" Pride Connie cried out.

"We should be better than this!"

And Envy...as the group of them stood around the table in a huge circle.

"I wish we were better than this." She admitted.

The six of them continue to rant and rave and carry on that Steven couldn't even get a word in. It was so...messy, abstract...six version of Connie, wanting different things, claiming truths and lies and lies and truth and everything that just didn't sound like it would come from Connie. The real Connie was more controlled and resolute and dedicated. Less violent, less pushy and not that submissive. The real Connie was strong, loving, smart and kind. He couldn't accept...this...papers flung everywhere in the torrent of screams and shouts and pointing fingers and swords. This was going nowhere. Steven had enough, that he had gotten sick of it...it wasn't Connie's doing if she had the will to prevent it, but right now...

"SHUT UP!" He screamed, immediately falling into his pink state. His patience was lost in the wake of the boiling anger that had taken control, warping the green into shades of pink...but accidentally breaking everything in the process, as all of the Connie's looked on at him, stunned in the same exact way...they were feeling the same exact way.

Oh no...he tried to reach out until....things started breaking and falling apart around him. Looking at his hands, he could see how his rage, his..wrath, was the most powerful being in this place...

" _Steven..._ " Pride Connie muttered.

What did he do? He didn't mean to use his power in here of all realms.

"It's okay Steven...I'm here. We're here for you." Lust Connie reassured.

No, this wasn't right. He didn't _want_ to see Connie like this...now _he_ was losing control...this was about _Connie_... not him. Irregardless of how he felt, the group of them approached him as he begun to step back, not wanting their hands on him as they all looked on him in worry.

"No..stop...STOP _STOP_!"

This wasn't happening...his heart rate increased as thumped in his head, looking on as the six deadly Connie's marched onwards.

" **STOP!** "

Then...as if someone in this crazy existence heard his cry again, the world once again turned orange freezing everything to a halt once again and every Connie was stuck in place as the world began to glitch again. Steven felt his phone in his hand vibrate as he looked at the next message from Four Square.

**SHE IS GCZ-4. DO NOT LET THEM GET HER.  
  
**

Was that?

The Six Connies were literally stuck in time, not moving...the world stopped turning. The lights stuck in the daze of sunset and books were let in mid air as they had been pushed out and being held in position. Only Steven was the one in the library able to move. He examined them all, looking at him with their beady, pleading eyes...so desperate to help him, yet...the only signs Steven could see right now were as if, the one who had been pulling the strings was trying to help instead. Logic be damned on that count, he demanded answers by this point as everything had gone haywire.

" _Four Square..._ " Steven muttered.

Another buzz. Another text.

**DO NOT LET THEM GET PCZ-3. DO NOT LET THEM GET GCZ-4.**

What were they talking about?

"I don't understand! What are you talking about?" Steven called out, so confused by it all. Despite the stillness and the least amount of rummaging about, Steven was still tense and on guard, summoning his shield and preparing for any kind of assault as he walked around the warped repository of knowledge. Though that ended up being sucked into massive vortex of nothingness, absorbing all colour and imagery until Steven was alone on a white back drop, seeing hundreds of crows flying everywhere. What insanity was this?

His phone went off again. More obscure messages but were corrupted.

 ** _fJgUlHJgKuhBHhKhBGlBAj_**

_STEVEN_

That voice...why did it sound just like Wh-

Another text.

**STEVEN.DIAMOND.I.NEED.YOUR.HELP.**

Black squares came and went in random formations, flashing, blinking, glitching, distorting. A conflict of the greatest proportions scattered across this mindscape. Was he still in Connie's head?

Another text, but it came with garbled noises and gibberish wording.

**FDSJVFHSBCZ1FNKSLN;FK;S**

_STEVEN_

No...now that sounded like Yel...

Another text...

**GFhKbPbPASTRAEAvhjkvvhj**

Wait, what did that say? Something in that text...could he decrypt it?

_STEVEN..._

Now that was Bl-

Another text.

**DKFA;jsfs _IKNOW_ FNSDFA; _WHE_ -FSKLDA _PROF_ N=DJEKL _IS_**

Four Square, she...she knew where the Professor was? Was he reading that right?

"Four Square, if you can hear me, where are you? We'll come to you straight aw-"

The light was pierced by a complete blackness, tearing it like a sheet of paper and glaring at Steven with six piercing eyes of green....and a massive maw that swallowed him whole.

* * *

He jerked up right and felt his sweaty face with his hands as he tried to get his breath back, panting like no tomorrow. He looked over to see Connie sitting next to him, concerned but not saying anything, instead she hugged him without any hesitation, but the attempt was rather lacklustre in effort. No...he was losing her. He was losing her and he didn't like it. Connie didn't cry...just...hugged him because deep down she knew he was distressed, but the way she was handling it was completely off. No words of reassurance, nothing what so what ever. He was wrong in saying it was lifeless but...her reluctance to say anything suggested she just...either didn't know what to say or something else entirely. Feathers...Four Square had six out of seven. Vivi sat there at the end of the bed with her legs crossed, looking on with more emotion than Connie had been, the small Gem holding more life than Connie did in one hug. 

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Connie." Steven sobbed, unable to hold back his tears.

"If I'd known sooner. I would have been there when it started."

He grabbed his phone and looked through the texts more thoroughly...yes...this was exactly what Four Square was saying. And maybe, maybe what they had sent Lars was actually...no, how would they know? Lars text...it wasn't for him not to go to Jayhawk...it was for them not to go to Jayhawk. Not yet anyway...

Gluttony was right. Four Square was of great benefit. Connie eventually let go of him and sat there with her hands in her lap, staring at him still. Blank as anything else. He touched her face, caressing with his hand. She was awfully cold as he ran his thumb across her cheek. Despair riddled his heart and his stomach filled with butterflies more than ever, Nightingales on his shoulder and his leviathan at the ready to strike if Steven let it. It wasn't her fault...Steven could not and would not place blame on Connie alone for the sorrowful condition she was in. Falling apart internally and leaving her in this state. He wanted her to speak, but...he could see it in her eyes...soulless...

And then those feathers...those parts of Connie that Four Square was trying to claim. Were they doing it for good or ill? Was it a trap? It had to be. There was nothing else to it but desperate messages coming across as a friend, when for all he knew could have been a foe...but...

Looking at Vivi who shuffled herself across and her stare, her knees folding outwards and her hands splaying on the mattress and those big, purple eyes. Steven pulled his hand back...he had to save Connie. He had to save Vivi and the whole damn universe right now. He couldn't afford to let this get to him. Not after everything Connie had done for him. And what Lars had said stuck with him. He had to suck it up because, no one else could get them through this other than Steven. He had to make or break choice that could get them where they were needed to be...or it would be a choice that would cost them all dearly.

He was going to make a controversial decision.

"I know what to do. We're going back to Astraea. Four Square knows something...and my gut tells me that I'm gonna find that something there." He said, breaching into near confidence despite it all going against them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And by now, you should technically know what the last piece is. If you don't...then uhh, I don't know what to say.


	20. The Tread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some paths are better left untravelled.

Steven could do this...if he tried.

They had to take a detour to Homeworld and made preparations to head to Astraea, the beautiful planet with the luminescent flora and fauna. Connie dragged her feet behind him, constantly staring at the floor, while Vivi herself stayed by Steven's side. This was beginning to take a toll on him, though her preferred to try to smile for their sake, just as Connie had taught him.

Going to his office, he had gotten changed back into his Diamond Admiral gear and worked to send out some last minute commands, telling Connie and Vivi to wait on the couches as he worked on his computers, until he was interrupted by none other than Volleyball.

"I got your message." She said.

"Are you sure you don't want me to send one of our own agents to inspect Astraea? What if its a trap?"

Steven told himself the same exact thing. Four Square was reaching out to them in a way that might have been quite high the scale of the ominous, but he had little to work with as Connie's condition worsened. No. He had to do this. Who ever or what ever Four Square was, could make sense of everything that's happened so far. If they were on that planet, then Steven was going to take the chance and make matters right. Connie pulled out all stops for him, so Steven's only option was to do the same. So much was at risk here and only the last Diamond could make heads or tails of a troubling, perplexing scenario.

"I'll have plans in place for an emergency, remember?" He told her.

Months of planning had gone into this. If Steven could pull it off, then he would feel better in knowing all of his bases were covered. Though Volleyball didn't like the look of it herself.

Spending time with Jasper was...educational. Two completely different gems learning from the other in the interim between the last time Steven was here and for when he had returned. But nothing had been more embedded into Volley's gem, than the infamous phrase she had given her during the last crisis:

_If you care about your Diamond then you make that call._

Steven looked like he was a mess, looking at Connie and Vivi on the couch, two individuals he cared so much for and that she had come to care for as well. Her state back then on the surface appeared more dire, albeit now...Steven's research into the situation this time around sounded a lot more serious.

She rested her hands on her chest, thinking of these two would continue to give everything they had to protect each other. It was noble, but made Volley reflect with her own relationship with Pink...and talking with Pearl on Earth with her experiences since she had been with Pink to until the end, it had Volleyball see how...awful turned out to be. Pink didn't mean to hurt her, but that didn't excuse Pink in the slightest. Years on, Volley still felt that hurt no matter how much she adored Pink. Looking at the strain and sweat on Steven's face that had been lost in the concentration, she adored him, but not to the same mindset like had with Pink. They had their similarities and glaring differences; his efforts to make things better always on the top of his mind. She'd come to the conclusion a long while ago that had the best thing to happen to Gem kind in millennia and that there was a weight lifted off not just her shoulders, but the shoulders of most Gems that had welcomed his changes with open arms.

Which made her sad to see the Rebellion form yet again, against the changes that Steven had worked so hard for to enact and enforce, spelling out the positive impacts it had already made to the majority of Gemkind. At the expense of how much Steven suffered and endured through out it all.

Volley could sympathise.

And Pearl had called her in...and Connie had called him out.

Yet, without that grounding, Steven was stuck in this stage again...which explained why Volley had seen this as a familiar sight...he was ready grind himself into the dirt once more and that path had a dark end to it. Volley was not going to let that happen on her watch. 

"Steven can I make a suggestion?" She put forth.

He didn't even look at her, apathy apparent through his dull expression.

"Sure." He replied, albeit not one with the greatest amount of enthusiasm.

Volley swallowed.

"You need someone to go with you to Astraea. I could suggest Spinel to go with you."

He didn't even react, continuing to work away.

"Volley, it's fine, we'll be alright. I'll take care of them." He said.

The Pearl blinked. That tone again, which brought Volley loads of frustration. Not again, not ever again. The signs were there for her to see, the sweat, the focus and the mountains upon mountains of responsibilities that he had undertaken...for those that have gone to loyal Gems of great merit, Steven still had make the silent declaration to do the hardest jobs alone.

Volley would have stayed clear in the past, but she had sworn to herself not to make the same mistakes again due to ignorance and fear. The last thing she wanted to feel...was fear.

"Steven I _insist_." She said, clearing her throat.

Steven sighed as he stopped typing for the moment, his head dropping.

"Volley, I don't want Spinel on this mission." He said, almost exasperated.

"Her... _abilities_ aren't well suited towards what I'm trying to do."

Then who would he bring with them? Volley refused to let him go on his own; the tangle of the turmoil that would sooner destroy him through aggressive campaigning and endless battles to protect others. And his words; she's heard them from the Diamonds before. It took Volley a while that it was a more respectful way of saying that they didn't want certain people to be a part of huge, important jobs. Volley liked Spinel, but was inclined to agree on Steven if he thought this was incredibly serious.

"But please, take someone with you. You need back up." Volley pleaded. 

She watched as Steven rubbed his face, irritable to no end. The same expression a Diamond would wear as Volley became a bit more nervous in his presence. Stepping out of line or stepping in to prevent more problems down the track.....

"Volley...no...I have to do this..." He said, continuing to push her back.

And so did she. Perhaps she would be poofed, hurt or shattered, what ever. Someone and that someone was Volleyball had to call him out on this deliberate retread of the past that was going to cause him more pain than before...Connie and Vivi depended on him right now, but who could Steven depend on when he went too far? Enough was enough...

" _You do_." She said, pushing her hand through the screens as she put her head through, almost startling him as she glared.

"But you are not doing this alone. If you have no one else you can count on to have your back, then at least take _me_ with you!"

Steven was too dumbfounded in shock at Volley's sudden snap in behaviour. She wasn't naturally one to be angry either, but right now he was at a loss for words, looking up at her churned expression, piercing him down without warning.

"The last time, I failed you..and I have failed Pink before you. I have listened and I have learned. From Pink, from Pearl...and you. I am not going to fail you again."

Volleyball didn't fail him, however...she failed no one. Had this been on her mind for a while? If anything, Volleyball was important to him more so than most and he had the desire to know her better...or to get her to know herself better. She served him willingly and happily, when really...all he wanted her to be was a friend. Their work towards ending this Rebellion was crucial, but Steven wanted to trust that Volleyball could maintain that level of consistency with her work and that she could come to him at any time if there were any issues. She shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes but otherwise, Steven would urge caution. At this point, however, he'd never seen this side of her before.

" _Volley_..." Was all he could mutter, too taken aback to say anything else.

He stood up off his chair which had Volley gasp in horror, shifting back and having her hands on her mouth as she began to shake; oh no, she'd gone too far.

Steven, however, calmly walked around, his head down as he closed his eyes until he stood right in front of her, his eyes went to the girls as Connie silently played with Vivi, disturbed, distress as the pressure become the mountain in his form, pushing out his grief from within as he tried not to burst into tears. His hands were in fists, as he struggled to figure out what he could do, what he should do. Nothing was left to make sense of anything and he would only be lying to himself that this hurt more than it should.

"You can...come with us." He said, exasperated.

"I'll have to make alternate arrangements...let Jasp-OOFF."

Volley shut him up as she hugged him outright, throwing her arms around him and squeezed him right as she rested her head on his shoulder. His mouth was left agape, tears flowing outside of his will.

"It's awful...I know..." She muttered in his ear.

"You care about Connie, like I cared about Pink..."

And so far, this had been something Volley had been wanting to enact for a while...trepidation her enemy to slay in the course of giving Steven the comfort he needed where there had been a lack of. Not to say Connie couldn't give that comfort, but...she looked at Connie and could easily see how disconnected she was from the world...unable to connect concepts and correlations as she completely ignored the situation Steven was in. She definitely was not the in the state of mind to look after Steven...and Steven was not in the right frame of mind to look after anyone, let alone an entire Armada under his command when he felt like he couldn't even protect those closest to him.

She eventually felt his arms and hands touch back with her back. 

"My Therapist keeps telling me...I should be more accepting of help." He said.

"But...even now...I can't help being me. I can't help...wanting to help others before me...and I have to stop and I know I should, I should stop...but it's different. I'm the only one left really who can handle this..and..."

He wasn't. The Diamonds had to be better themselves and to maintain order after Steven left. By order, it was generally being able to handle the jobs he had done for them while they were away...but they were gone again and Steven held up everything because of who and what he was. In earlier eras, he was right. And at the beginning of all this, as Steven returned, he had to make sure to hand out work to those who had the capabilities of doing those jobs incredibly well, even so, it wasn't something a little bit teaching couldn't fix. Steven was good at that too. Teaching others...educating them so they could be more than what they are naturally because they can be the person whom they desire to be.

Volleyball wanted to be dependable, approachable, to see everything outside of what she was made to do. The apprehension of comforting her Diamond came out of the rules and regulations and it had Volley pay the price in the end...which to her, made more sense the more she thought about it. Pink's risks with fun had Volley lost a huge span of her life that she was never going to get back. That fear didn't have to exist anymore...not with Steven, at least. Part of her felt the relief, winding down from the shaky emotions she had prior, leading up to the chance she had to hug Steven when he was at his worst. To reach out to him, to let him know she was there for him, when he had no one else to turn to.

If only Volley had the strength to do this beforehand, all of this could have been avoided.

But maybe, she shouldn't be placing blame.

"You have everyone here on standby, ready for your orders." Volley assured him.

"This is _your_ home...these are _your_ people. You might have changed things for the better in Era 3, but these Gems...they won't stop telling me on how much they love you..."

A statement Steven would forever surround to the amber clouds of doubt.

"They love Pink Diamond. Not Steven Universe." He mumbled as he sniffed.

Volley shook her head.

"They _loved_ Pink Diamond. But they love Steven too. Even I had a hard time wrapping my own head over the idea that the both of you weren't the same person, even now, it still doesn't make sense. But if I'm being honest..."

And Steven encouraged honesty from his Gems.

"You let me be _more_ than what I am...and I'm so glad I'm getting to hug you right now...it feels...good, warm..."

She felt Steven's grin on her shoulder.

"Hey, that's what big brothers are for." He joked, as he sniffed.

And Volley's laughter brought some sanctity to Steven, a slice of relief he hadn't felt in a long while. As they disconnected, Steven wiped his tears with a tissue as he tried to maintain some form of Diamond hard dignity, clearing his throat as he adjusted himself.

"So, you really want to come with us to Astraea?" He asked.

Volley beamed, hands together in front of her as she nodded.

"I do. I've been working..."behind the scenes." as you have said to me before...working alongside some old friends to help with scheduling with the Fleets."

He'd almost forgotten about that. It was ready to embark at any moment, some last minute checks were needed but otherwise, they were almost ready to fly.

"But there's still alternate business to take care of. So I think before we head off we'll need to head to the Docks...is that okay if we do that first?"

Steven could give so much praise to some Gems who just be so level headed and calm. So of course he was going to say yes.

"Alright, let's get over there."

* * *

Volley was simply a blessing, as Steven took charge, with Volley holding Connie's hand the entire time, the human completely lost and only hinging on orders. Steven was going to be worried irregardless but what had been in his control was still within his grasp. And Volley was definitely correct in the sense that he still had the respect of his crew and that giving up seemed so stupid when he still had everything around him he could work with. Vivi travelled alongside him as he looked down at her and smiled and her childish grin was enough to make Steven forget his worries for the time being.

Once they had gotten to the Docks, he was met up with two familiar Pearls. Blue and Yellow, wearing Earth-like designed uniform, complete with their respected hats. The two stood straight in front of him and saluted. They certainly looked eager.

"I put a call out on people willing to become your Flight Lieutenants." Volley said.

"Peridot had a list of individuals wanting to fly. We engaged some Nephrites but these two insisted on joining."

He sure hoped Peridot made sure to keep things under wrap on Earth without everyone else knowing what was going on. Still he approached the pair and shook their hands.

"Welcome aboard." He said.

"Pear- oh no not this situation again."

"Is there a problem Pink Lasagna?" Yellow Pearl asked.

Steven bit his lip. This was going to be awkward, only now realising that he was going to work alongside more Pearls...oh and he didn't really care that Yellow Pearl called him Pink Lasagna still, he got used to it, even declaring it was a token of affection and an acceptable nickname that he never bothered correcting her again...although it did give him an idea.

"Are you...two okay if I gave you callsigns, like Volley here?" He asked.

Yellow Pearl shrugged, apathetic to it.

"If you must Steven Diamond." Said Blue Pearl, her voice eternally soft.

He rubbed his chin, trying to think of something...that was...until he felt Vivi tug his sleeve.

"Yes Vivi what it is?" He asked.

The big smile on her face indicated...something...as she waved her hand to tell him to crouch down so she could whisper in his ear. He did so, as she curled her hand around it and muttered something into it. Hmm...that could work.

With the confidence of Diamond Admiral, Steven closed his eyes as he had one hand behind his back and a another with his index finger pointing upwards as he made his choice.

"With the advice of this young Vivianite here, I declare Yellow Pearl to be called...Basketball....and Blue Pearl to be called.....Soccerball."

Reception was hazy but otherwise the two begrudgingly accepted their new names. Volley had told them to meet up with their respective Nephrite CO as she would take them through the ropes, getting to know the big Flag ship a bit better. The two saluted Steven and went on their way. Volley stood next to him as they had more to do.

"Speaking of nicknames, have you chosen a name for your ship?" She asked.

He looked down at Vivi again, recalling that she did make a suggestion...whether or not she could in fact, remember it. She did have interesting questions about the size of the fleet..and Connie commented on how tedious it would have been for Steven to map this out. He missed those types of conversations and wanted to talk to them normally again. He will, but right now....

"The Leviathan. The Biggest Beast in the Sea of Stars." He said.

Volley nodded.

"Okay, I'll send that off to the techs now. Well...that was most of the work we needed to do done. We should have the first flight within twenty four to fourty eight hours. But...are you still inclined to head to Astraea?"

Going to Connie whom had had been standing there, fixated on the ship for the last half an hour, her hands in front of her...it was wrong to ignore her and finding out what Four Square knew was indeed still on their agenda.

"Yeah, let's take the Leg Ship this time." He said.

* * *

Taking the trip there after not being there for a while was indeed something Steven never really had planned. One day, perhaps but nothing on the horizon as far as the Rebellion was concerned.

The group arrived on Astraea some hours later, out on the open plains outside the forests. The sun was just shining just before they entered and rays attempted to break through through the tall, redwood like trees as a brisk breeze caressed the leaves. The clearest, sweetest air...a sensation not felt in ages as one inhale would set you free.  
The familiar ferns and fungi and the essences of fog possessed a chill in the air, the humidity quite high as a result. All Steven could state that it was a reminder of how this place could really have you feel refreshed and the aromas of the flora around not found on any other planet. Walking around, they took in what sights they could, never getting tired of the sheer magic this place provided. Steven lead the charge, with Volley right behind him as she held Connie's and Vivi's hands on each side.

The trees had their geometric markings of glowing bio-luminescence... a common sight on the planet but didn't make it any less beautiful. The beaming butterflies each a different colour of the rainbow, were still around as Steven raised an index finger and let a pink one rest on it. It batted its wings slowly as he couldn't help but smile... a purity of life that felt safe enough to land on a Diamond Child. It flew off shortly after, as their journey for their search for Four Square continued.

Eventually they came across the lake; the same one filled with the Spiked Snails that would glow up the bottom of it during the night. Steven approached the edge and look at himself...flashing back to the leviathan and the lines of line that appeared as he shifted his plates. Monster or not, it was no mistake that you were made to feel welcomed and not alone, even if no other sentient being was around. Spirits of old, empower this world to keep it turning, as Steven still held the desire to protect.

He's walked dangerous roads just as beautiful as they were deadly. Tensions were still tensions in this day and age...reminding him of all the faces and beings that had sort harm against him in the past. But it wasn't about him anymore, taking Connie's hand from Volley and having him stand next to her. In a way, he could understand what Connie was going through. The loss of self and awareness except, Connie wasn't a monster. She never was, yet she was robbed of everything that made her great, lost in this confusion with no really way around to fix the problem that he was trying his hard to repair irregardless. She looked down at her own reflection, but didn't say anything, leaving Steven to do all the talking.

"I kind of remember taking us here." He said.

"We swam to the bottom and I showed you the Snails. "

There was some vivid memories of when he was the Leviathan. Seeing Connie's smiling face...and her sad face kept triggering those fragments in time...of peace like there was not issue going on at all. Looking at Connie, who continued to stare at herself, he wondered if she was trying to think...or something that was attempting to click in her head.

"Oh well well well, what do we have here."

Steven turned around, seeing a familiar red and blue Gem fluttering before him, as he instantly summoned his shield and had everyone go behind him.

"Bluebird!" He called out. A sight for sore eyes. Literally.

"I was wondering when I would see your ugly face again!" 

The Fusion giggled.

"I've been around, Admiral Diamond." She mocked.

"Actually, I'm here for her...and _her_."

Steven looked at where she was pointing...to Vivi and Connie, respectively.

"What? Why?" He asked.

Bluebird threw her fists on her hips.

"Goodness gracious me aren't you the ignorant one? All this...making sure you know thy enemy...and you haven't got a single clue about what's going on...I'm disappointed."

Of course he doesn't.

"Maybe if you would be so kind to explain it to me then?" Steven requested in a way that was more of a threat than a question. But Bluebird flew downwards, getting closer to both Vivi and Connie, as Volley stood in front of them both with hers spread, determined not to let Bluebird touch either of them.

"Do you...remember me?"

Connie just stared at Bluebird...and again, did not open her mouth...her face displayed confusion, but not much else.

"She's not in the mood to talk." He said.

"No one is going anywhere...but you!"

And the fusions laugh grated Steven to no end, like fingernails on a chalk board.

"Funny that." She said. 

"Because the last time we fought, you were just this...big dumb lizard thing."

And with that, it flung Steven into the Pink State, he looked at Volley behind him, tightening his fists.

"Volley, take those two somewhere safe." He ordered.

The Pearl didn't hesitate to question his command, instead nodding in acknowledge and took Connie's and Vivi's hands and ran them all into the forest. Bluebird tried to follow, only for Steven to jump up and float, summoning a set of pink hexagonal plates to form a wall with his hands.

"Still feisty and not with your Crystal Gem friends?" She balked.

She tested him and she wanted to test and poke and prod and divide and conquer. That was her aim. Not original, but she figured the way she could be a Diamond down, was with words to strike him and his anger. This could only end poorly.

"They're living their lives as protectors of the Earth. That is their duty." Steven declared with confidence.

Bluebird only grinned wider.

"What about your duty Steven Diamond, Protector of Homeworld and all independent colonies?" She questioned.

Steven kept his ground...or technically as he was still floating as his long jacked flapped in the wind.

"Yes." He answered with a low voice. "I aim to set this Rebellion straight, no matter how long it takes!"

Bluebird groaned, her hand to her face as she shook her head with disbelief.

"You are soooo boring...but do you also remember your friend Baseball? She's doing well."

More to stir the pot. If Bluebird wasn't careful, she was going to be torn apart in more ways than Steven could imagine.

"I do...but I don't care." He said.

Even with the wall between them, he needed to give Volley enough space so they could hide. But he figured, with Bluebird and him talking, he could try and pry out more information from her. Knowing Baseball was still around didn't surprise him, but mention of the nickname he gave to her made him sick that he ever called her friend and ally. These Gems knew no compassion and only cared about the destruction of planets and the lust for power.

"Hahahaha...oh but you will..." Bluebird continued.

"She's seen this all pan out. Driving the girl insane with the good ol' dose of BYW-3, but you know...it wasn't the only chemical to blame for her condition."

There was something else other than BYW-3?

"What was the other?" He demanded to know.

She eyed him (well, only she had the one eye anyway) and crossed her arms, looking foppish as she grinned.

"Oh I don't think you want to know. Or you do, but you just don't see it. The damage was already done with the dosage provided. And here we are, running through the cycle once again because of the extra ingredient absolutely necessary for this to work at all."

She could either spit it or or Steven would get Jasper to force the fusion to spit it out...or Aquamarine or Eyeball for good measure.

"Tell me." He demanded.

A glint sparkled in her teeth.

"The power of the Pink Diamond." She revealed.

"Don't you recall her skin getting those funny pink lines? Baseball predicted that to be some kind of corruption on a human...and now she's corrupting again!"

No. That was impossible. Connie wasn't a gem, there was no way she could corrupt.

"No way." Steven called out. "I'm not doing anything to her this time!"

This time...the last time was exposure to his uncontrollable Miasma triggered by his negative emotions that caused storms of the toxin to spread all around him.

"Oh but you are." Bluebird said.

"BYW-3 is a developed chemical on Earth. Produced by the Organisation in a attempt to be able to replace the lack of Pink Diamonds Essence...so when it was given to you as a test, you reacted better to it then we had hoped. She saw you using your..disgusting spit to heal the girl of BYW-3 when in fact it did the complete opposite."

The night of the Frenzy Incident. Steven had to cleanse Connie of the filth and he only had one way to do it.

"That can't be true. My spit doesn't do that." He said, his form descending to the ground as the barrier disappeared.

"You'd be surprised how strong it actually is." Bluebird explained.

"Its potency like none other...the reason why a lot of Era 2 gems were weaker was because of the lack of it. Ask any of the Diamonds, they'll tell you. Oh wait."

Another problem, another to increase his Pink State.

" **WHERE ARE THEY?** " He roared, causing a crater to form underneath him as he flared up further.

Meanwhile Bluebird was still as calm, cool and collected a she ever was, not phased by Steven's tantrum.

"Secure, out of the way and out of the problem. Because the era of the Diamonds you see, are no more. We'll properly introduce Era 4 very, _very_ soon."

She wasn't going to get away with this, as Steven flung himself into the fray without thinking, using his shield to bludgeon Bluebird to the ground, who's agility was able to dodge consistently, although Steven urged himself to go faster. They flew above the lake, although Bluebird was able to raise up up massive droplets from the water and using her cryokinesis, created dozens of cutlasses and shot them in Steven's direction. He crossed his arms as he created the round shield as each cutless hit, bouncing off and falling to the waters bellow, although Steven looked down in that instant, seeing some of the swords rising up below and he was forced to get back as he flew around, being chased by multiple blades attempting to cut him down.

He summoned a bubble and and let them hit him again, before he dived into the waters, but the weapons were still chasing him. He was a lot slower down here, but it built up his rage so much as he reached to the bottom, seeing the scores of Spiked Sea Snails as they started to glow in his presence, though the swords cut into some of them, killing some of them and dimming their lights. Steven froze, his bubble disappearing in shock as the shells started to rise to the surface. He then felt the cold prick dig into his back...and another and another...

Blood seeped out from behind him and Steven could see as it started to spread itself around him. He could smell it and he could feel the stings. Looking down with widened eyes, his form turned pink again, the rage building as it caused the waters temperature to increase. The cutlasses melted away as Steven spun around, vision obscured by the spill of his blood, only to meet Bluebird's face as she grabbed his collar and flew him and out of the water, effortless dangling in the air.

"You've lost your touch Diamond." She mocked.

"A shame that....huh..."

Steven's breath was heavy, echoey and low...as his body charged with his Pink Diamond aura, his form glowing harder and hotter than before. He bared his fangs as quickly as the hate filled his veins and nerves.

"No..." He said quietly, before he grabbed Bluebirds collar with both hands, causing her to jerk in surprise. He lifted his head, his Diamond Eyes more apparent, turning pink with the iris white and Diamond shaped.

"You...you shut up this INSTANT!" He screamed, with the soundwaves pushing her back as Steven floated there, dripping with water and his own blood.

"I am not going to ask you again; _WHERE ARE THE DIAMONDS_?" 

And it was fear that was finally written on Bluebirds face as he said that. Fear and the hint of regret.

"This is just their fault as it is the Rebellions. I don't care that Baseball is with you...I will find all of you and make you pay for everything you've put us through."

Jarring for Bluebird to hear such words from someone she thought to be more kind and loving and respectful. She treaded where she shouldn't have and even after stabbing him half a dozen times, he definitely was a Diamond through and through. 

"Imprison us? Your threats are empty Universe-"

" **SHUT UP!** "

This time his scream had enough power to force back the trees on the sides of the lake and even the forceful winds created a temporary crater in the waters, the winds of his shout enough to last several moments as it all became chaotic and storm like, with clouds drawing in from afar and the air pressure beginning to change. He remained there, drifting as he tried so hard to breath what he could, his temper at its breaking point. Bluebird kept her distance, critical of his every moment.

"Proof you're absolutely mad." She continued.

"I will take my leave. But evidence is still given...they will get what _they_ want...."

Steven tried to follow her as she flew off, but was met with the sudden smash of pain that had sent him back into the waters, as he passed out, everything going black in an instant before the impact.

* * *

They...who was...who was they? The Organisation...it had to be. Steven knew the Organisation had been working with the rebellion...his mind couldn't figure it out as he was unconscious, vivid imagery of his leviathan swimming around him, looking on. It was a predator and a divine guardian. It was powerful but protective for a reason. Steven's body was left in waters of magenta, arms and legs doing their own thing as his eyes were closed, his gem glowing as the monster stayed on close watch, its black eyes and pink pupils on the watch for enemies that would dare to approach. The lines of line that formed around its plates shifted and the spikes waved about as she shifted up high and low and used its tail to guide it around the circular pattern.

It was calm and serene here...the sound of muffled bubbles drifting upwards. There was little to no pain...until an orange hand broke the surface above without warning and grabbed Steven and pulled him up to the light.

Sound returned to him slowly...as he heard his name called out several times.

"Steven?"

He batted his eyes a few times, seeing a stone roof with a light beaming down on him. His vision became more focused, squinting to see the wire hooked up by a series of pins nail to the roof of what ever place he found himself in. Looking down, he could see the white bandages wrapped around his torso, but leaving his Gem fully exposed. Around him were differently coloured cushions and a sleeping back that he had been lying on.

"Thank goodness you're alright." 

Sitting up, Volley was on her knees and her hands grasped together, her face showing the relief that Steven was still with them. He was a bit groggy and sore, but otherwise functional.

"Woah...where am I?" He asked as he rubbed his head.

He heard footsteps in front of him. Brown boots that went to a pair of grey slacks, that went to a orange long sleeved shirt, a pale white face with freckles and voluminous and curly, past shoulder length hair. The individual was bulky and shapely, reminding Steven of the stature of Quartz Type Gems...ones with black square glasses.

"Yes, you're awake Mr. Universe." She said.

He noticed her orange shaded eyes and plump lips. Volleyball helped him on his feet, holding his arm while he corrected his centre of gravity and Volley put on his Admiral jacket to keep him warm. Upon closer glance, she looked familiar, but where he couldn't outright place.

"Uhh..where am I?" He moaned.

The woman smiled.

"You're in my little slice of heaven. You looked awful, no offence."

She even had the voice of a Quartz, but she didn't have the energy of one. No...she radiated a much more complex energy.

"I feel worse." He said.

"Where's Connie and Vivi?"

The woman nodded.

"They're in the next room. But you and I need to talk alone. Volleyball, would you mind?"

Steven exchanged glances with the Pearl, who put a hand on his shoulder, to where Steven gave the look of approval for her to leave. Doing so, the woman ushered with her hand to have Steven sit down on the wooden chair next to him, to where the woman had taken a seat on the opposing one. Steven didn't recognise her in the slightest but there was definitely something off that he couldn't help but notice though couldn't pinpoint what bothered him so much.

"I think you know who I am." She said as she adjusted the frames.

Steven's squinted, still waking up, then realised what she meant after a moment.

"Four Square?" He piqued.

She nodded. Steven couldn't believe...so many feelings ran through him in that revelation alone that he didn't know what to think. One feeling that emerged more so was anger as he went to tear into her off the bat.

" _You're_ the one who's been harming Connie!" He accused, pointing in her direction

Four Square looked down, not out of shame, but out of expectation...knowing that this was going to be a topic brought up one or another.

"I can explain."

No. Steven refused to deal with someone whom had been haunting Connie for months and hacking her phone and causing her more grief than was necessary. Steven had a sliver of patience left and gave Four Square one reason why he shouldn't poof her on the spot.

"You better. I have had enough of people messing around with my Gems, my people and _my_ Connie. Understand?"

Four Square pursed her lips, struggling to keep eye contact.

"Your frustration is understandable." She acknowledged, keeping herself poised and in control. She sounded just like his Therapist.

"But ultimately my intentions are to help save Connie and protect Vivi."

Didn't look like it. Steven had to suck it up for a while longer...he was tired of giving chances to people who didn't deserve it.

"I can either give you the short version of the tale or the longer one. What ever you prefer." 

Short version, so he could at least get the reasons for her actions of terror.

"Tell me Four Square? Why? Why have you been harassing Connie?" He demanded.

Four Square had idea that he meant short.

"Because...Connie is going through the same path as Vivi as we speak." She revealed.

The same path? That made no sense.

"What do you mean?" Steven probed further.

She adjusted her glasses again and crossed her legs.

"The scenario in which has unfolded before you has happened three times already. Crimes of which both Gems and Humans have committed, myself included."

The Organisation. That's who she was working for. He took a deep breath; the fact she'd saved his life gave her credit to explain. Otherwise if he had the chance to do so, he would have destroyed her as he would have attempted to destroy Bluebird. That's how on edge Steven had become recently...he wasn't a saint and he was going to do controversial decisions that he had to commit to, exhausted of trying to play nice with people whom had refused to do so. Too many times, too many people he's let go in the off chance they might change their minds, where clearly, they would never.

" _Three times_? So...you're saying... _oh no._..Bluebird was right....it is _my_ fault..." Steven noted, his voice breaking, heart aching as anxiety brewed from within, digging his fingers into his scalp as he cowered and shook from the anger and hate towards himself. He lifted his head as he started to weep, knowing that this was what was happening all along. The signs were there in her actions and her behaviour and here he was looking for the noticeable change on her exterior. By the Stars, he had it so wrong.

"Connie is...she _is_ corrupting...but...h-how?"

Four Square sighed.

"It's a lot more complicated than that...but...this is where the long story is required, if you could spare your ears and wrath to hear it." She said.

Steven took in another deep breath...sucking it up again. he had to listen, like the old times with Gems that needed him. Now he needed Four Square, his source and biggest mystery to tell him what she knew...from start to finish so he could begin to figure out how to fix it. 

"Lay it on me Four Square, I need to know it all."


	21. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven gets answers from Four Square and does not like what he finds.

Long gone with the days spent messing around, doing what friends would do.

It was something that childhood was...figuring out the wonder and exploring the unknown without fear, with the promises of something new and exciting around every corner.

Now what was unknown was scary and what was new was terrifying; the premise of Connie Maheswaran, his Jam Bud, his best friend, his girlfriend...corrupting before him...and it was Steven's own fault that she was becoming this way. Butterflies sat on his shoulders and the leviathan close by...Steven just had to figure out the best way to solve this problem. Like they had done for him, he would do for her...but he needed the Diamonds help and they weren't around...so Steven was left to pick up the pieces because he was the only who could.

He could have a few ships or a thousand, none of them would be able to solve every issue possible. It was a strength, a show of force for the most part, that things were getting pretty serious...and now this...Four Square was sitting right before him, claiming to know the full picture. But Steven still couldn't find it within himself to forgive her for taunting Connie every step of the way, challenging her psyche and damaging in ways Steven would never understand. He hoped she would have the truth, however...and if the truth being that it would Steven allow a way to find out how he could begin to fix it.

She had the aura of a motherly form, human in design but...he could swear something else was off about her, but he wasn't sure what. He left that for now and demanded her to explain everything.

"Getting to speak to you directly was in fact impossible, with the way this had all panned out." Four Square said, a bit anxious as she curled her hair around her finger.

"The Organisation has eyes and ears everywhere...and if Bluebird was here...then maybe they know where I am."

And the Organisation itself was another mystery entirely.

"Forget about that." Steven told her.

"Any issues, I'll put you under the Authorities Protection...as much as I'd like to say that I'm happy to see you...I would be advised to tell the truth and say I am not."

It was true...looking at her and knowing who she was and what she had been doing caused Steven some amount of grief. But she would be given the chance and she wasn't hostile, so Steven would be able to tolerate her, at the very least.

"I understand completely." Four Square continued.

"I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to rectify mistakes and address wrongdoings."

Steven could sympathise. He still sat down and crossed his arms.

"You have the floor. Proceed."

Four Square nodded firmly.

"Thank you. Now...to understand what has been happening, my beginnings originated within Jayhawk itself, much like Connie's and Vivi's. I was...made aware of the work the Organisation had been doing but...

Jayhawk had been a welcoming place. Open to many potential students looking to make their way through the world and plenty of tutors and Professors to help direct students to their true paths in life. I had been one such Professor teaching IT."

Another Victim, as she had pointed out...innocent turned vague and mysterious.

"I came to know the Dean, Dr. Petunia Schwarz."

The same Dean that was said to be an expert in Biology and Metabiology. One of those Vivi had been trying to figure out some more and was well connected into this conspiracy.

"Dr. Schwarz and I became fast friends...and my knowledge...I had no idea she became so fascinated with technology and found my thesis on artificial intelligence quite impressive. My papers you see, were meant to be able to channel the knowledge and memories of real life people into machines...they would be like a real person in mind but their bodies wouldn't be. The application would be quite useful according to her."

Stuff Steven's only seen in movies. The fact that Four Square had been doing such a thing was mind-blowing.

"But what does that have to do with her line of work?" Steven queried.

"A lot, it seemed." Four Square continued.

"It turned out that she was a part of the Organisation and had them fund my research...and it was fine, if not a little strange. My main goal was to use these applications for the greater good...until she introduced me to a single Gem."

Oh?

"She had given me an example of what she was after. This Gem, small, pink with poofy candy cotton hair that covered half her face and a pink dress."

Steven's eyes widened.

"You met Baseball?" He gasped.

Four Square raised an eyebrow, but otherwise went on with her tale.

"If you're talking about the Pink Sapphire, then yes. Dr. Schwarz's aim? To develop more Gems."

No. No way. A human developing Gems? This was unthinkable! What was the Dean thinking and why? Surely Baseball had seen something on the horizon with her Future Vision, that had the Dean roped in alongside the cause. Surely, a human being being told what to do by a powerful seer Gem and being manipulated by her...she's done that before and it made Steven absolutely furious.

"Why? What for?" Steven demanded to know.

"I-I mean, like....reopening a Kindergarten?"

Four Square swallowed.

"It uses the same sequences. But it doesn't require the same process as you would know Gem growth today...it isn't as resource intensive like colony development. It's much, much more horrible than that."

How much?

"Tell me Four Square, I need to know..."

It was then Four Square had to sit down and remove her glasses, slouching over as she spread her legs, her feet shifting forward and her head in her hands, as her right foot started to shake. A painful recollection of events, with her fingers skimming across her scalp and he could hear her begin to sob. Steven frowned. It was that bad huh? He approached her and touched her right shoulder, before she suddenly popped and pushed Steven away. He raised his hands up in front of him, showing no harm, but it was weird how she was suddenly so calm and collected, but now she was a complete mess herself.

"Please don't touch me...I'm sorry..." She pleaded.

"But...if you really...really want to know..."

Steven nodded. He had to figure this out one way or another.

"I do." He said with confidence.

"I want to do everything in my power as a Diamond and..."

_as a friend..._

"As a friend..." He squeezed out, despite what he was saying earlier.

Steven stood back as Four Square whipped her curly ginger hair back behind her, putting her glasses back on, clearing herself as she sniffed and gave herself purpose and reason to talk again, to push past that pain. She looked up at him with a certain...sting in her expression, not a glare, but clearly wanting him to see her demonstration of determination and willingness of her answer.

"Very well." She answered, clearly and strongly. She looked behind her, to the room where Connie and Vivi had been, then turned back to Steven.

"You ever wonder why Vivi is so...human?"

Steven squinted, utterly confused by what she meant.

"Sorry?" He said, wanting a better explanation.

She raised the knuckles of her index finger to her lips as she took in newfound resolve.

"Vivi...a Gem that is so.. _.natural_ in personality...sure, she drinks...she smokes...she connects to humans better than her own kind."

Better more so than Steven.

"That...doesn't come out of thin air..."

Come again?

"Four Square, I don't get it." Steven said, rubbing his head.

The woman sighed, frowning heavily as he dug her nails into her legs. She believed him to be dumb or purposefully stupid in regards to her hints.

"And soon...Connie....will be just like her."

And then it clicked...and suddenly it made sense to Steven as his eyed widened with realisation, his pupils like pinpricks as his mouth was left slightly agape, form frozen to the idea...the absolutely terrifying possibility that Four Square had been suggesting...

"Connie...will become a Gem?" He croaked.

Four Square breathed in deeply, before she started rubbing her neck.

"Four Square, is that....Vivi was actually _human_?" He stressed out.

Oh no...this...no...this couldn't happen to her...not...his Connie...

"Sort of." She replied.

"The process Dr. Schwarz had was combining our skills to incubate Gems within human bodies. Vivi was the latest one...and Connie is...currently in progress."

Steven felt the entry of agony enter into his chest as he squeezed his Admiral jacket.

"No..no... _no._.." Steven muttered repeatedly, shifting out of the chair as he fell over. Tears of despair and grief ran down his cheek, accusing Four Square of trickery. He could have sworn his younger self's presence in the room; the Diamond Hard Denial of ages past coming through without warning.

"That _isn't_ true. Connie is _not_ becoming a Gem...and she is _not_ corrupting!"

Butterflies were everywhere around both Four Square and Steven now, only that Steven's Leviathan was egging them on.

"It's...worse than that..." She said out of nowhere.

"The Gem takes on the knowledge and memories of it's human host...but, as far as my research had gone, there's no indication that it's the original human. I've watched Vivi for years develop into her own person...and the Pink Sapphires original predictions as to how the original Vivi was going to pan out through the years would have been nothing like the Vivi you have seen. This version of her...it's possible that it uses the earliest set of memories she could think of."

HOW COULD SHE REALLY KNOW THAT? There had to be another way around this without losing Connie entirely to this mess that Baseball had created. His sheer hatred for the Gem on the amount of devastation she could cause with her powers alone, wanted him to immediately hold to the desire to track her down and punish her severely. The thought of _shattering_ her had come across his mind making the haste in the boiling heat his hate had fueled for him, as he held his head in his hands, growling and groaning out of sheer frustration, anger and sorrow. The Pink State pushed him to the brink as he charged at Four Square and shocked her as he picked her up and slammed her against the nearby wall, with tremors shaking the room a bit. Four Square's surprise faded, as she just stared behind Steven's shoulder, ignoring the powerful Diamond's intense stare and gritted teeth.

"YOU DID THIS TO HER! AND YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!" He roared, more tears flowing outward.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK OF DOING THIS AT ALL? HOW IS THIS RIGHT?"

Four Square closed her eyes.

"Because there's more than two victims here Steven." She said, calmly under pressure.

"And I'm only responsible for what happened to Vivi."

How? She had to be responsible for Connie and for all that she did to her. All the messages...all this torment and now she claims she wants to help?

"But I think, there is a way to save Connie...and I called you out because I want to get this resolved before Connie's Gem is grown in full. I beg of you."

In a way that Steven loathed, Four Square was right. She needed him and Connie needed him to fix this. Steven had to fix it...even if he had his Pink State flaring up again, he had to use all of his will power to calm down and let go of Four Square...and then instantly regret the way that he had behaved. Jasper was so much better at this than he was...because Steven just couldn't see himself pushing that far... he turned around to another wall and tried to breath.

"You think?" He said, his voice cracking.

"You are not out there, fighting a war to save the universe. People depend on me...depend on me as a Diamond because there's no one left."

Four Square nodded.

"I agree." She acknowledged as she adjusted herself.

"And I agree that I am not out there fighting like the rest of your Gems. But the fact remains that the Rebellion is tied to the Organisation in a bigger scope. You save Connie, you can help stop the Rebellion while you're at it. The solution to solve both problems before the end. I only ask but you hear me out further, so I can explain what I am doing to get you to those goals."

If she wants to help, then she can help solve Connie first. Steven needed anything and everything to help her right now. So he turned around, losing most of his anger and channelling it into a new focus. If anything, Steven could direct his rage in a useful way and when pushed in the right way he could do all sorts of things.

"Talk to me then." He ordered.

"Tel-"

"Um Steven..." Volley said as she entered the room.

"Sorry to interrupt but..."

* * *

Steven and Four Square went out into the other room to see Connie on the floor, sweating like mad, eyes closed as there were huge bags under her eyes. Steven fell into split second panic, running over and feeling her forehead, which was read hot.

"She's got a fever." He said.

"How long does the incubation take?"

Four Square pursed her lips.

"If going from examples known, the incubation can take...six? seven months?"

And it had been more than six....good grief...

"Okay what can we do? Uhhh can we take the Gem out of her body through emergency surgery?"

Four Square rubbed her forehead.

"I'm not a surgeon but...I haven't tried it before." She said.

"We can take her to Earth and I can find an old contact."

No. Not Earth. Steven refused. If her mother saw Connie in this state, she would freak.

"We'll take her back to Homeworld...and I can find the right Gems to take care of this." Steven ordered.

* * *

His heart never stopped racing and Volley stayed by his side the entire time, making sure he was drinking water, as he asked to do in times of crisis. Arriving back on Homeworld, Steven had taken Connie to her room and had the Pebbles retrofit it into a Gem version of a hospital room, with more colours of white than of pink. He was thankful that the Gems he worked with showed lack of hesitance in obtaining resources borrowed from Earth, and had only taken a good twenty four hours. When questioned, Steven ordered them to lie...and say it was to supply act on scenes from Under the Knife...he hated to lie, but the idea of telling to the truth would force more issues down the line.

Once everything was gathered, Steven and Four Square had remained by Connie's side, lying on a bed connected to a heart monitor. Her heartbeat was higher than normal and her body temperature had been increasing slightly. He took her hand and ran his fingers over hears, eyes fixed on resting face and wondered if she was in any kind of pain. He called on some Crystal Quartzes whom had been good with many worlds in need of healing and were known to be very particular, knowing their special ability to be able to be extremely good with fine detail, having been a tad smaller than most quartzes with smaller, thinner fingers, abilities not seen in many Gems, especially Quartzes. They were precise...and if Under the Knife taught him anything, it was that precision was key in surgeries.

By all right Steven should have gotten a real doctor for Connie but...exposing them to this...he doubted they would understand how complex this would turn out to be...and so by chance, many months and even back when he was here last time, these Quartzes had a fascinating interest with medicine and the human body....so by their interest he had the Quartzes begin to find out more information and begin practising on dolls and so forth...but never would Steven predict that they would be dealing with a real life being facing a real life crisis...it could take forever to get right exactly but....

Steven didn't have forever and neither did Connie.

Volley had come shortly after with the league of Crystal Quartzes with her, clad in their turquoise hospital gear, gloves and all... Their skin variants were light shades of blue and their hair was a combination of being tied up, cut short or a bob cut. Steven made a silent nod, as he turned to Connie and kissed her on the forehead. He wanted this to work so badly...but options were limited and he so dearly wanted to bring a human in, but Volley had put her hand on his arm in soft reassurance, causing him to smile briefly as he left with her and sat outside in the hall way. She sat next to him, as he rested his head on her shoulder, much to the Gems surprise. Four Square stood in front of him.

Volley talked about how Vivi was with Spinel, which Steven was glad someone like Spinel could entertain for a little while, although it did bring Steven back to the moments of Spinel's memory returning...and wondered...if Vivi remembered everything as Four Square described...and how she was made from a real human body. It would cause Steven more grief, but if he understood the parts within the incubation, then he would know how critical this was...even more so than it had already been.

"It's...not a pretty sight." Four Square acknowledged.

"There was a tube with a special oxygenated liquid that allowed the body to breath so Vivi had spent months in that tube. While the Doctor and I kept checking up on her and recording every change that we came across."

Steven wouldn't begin to imagine Connie going through that. Last thing he wanted, was the Organisation getting their hands on Connie and forcing her to go through this much...to die..

The thought of Connie dying was worse.

"Vivi demonstrated the same, exact signs."

And yet why didn't Four Square do anything about it?

"What was the sudden change of heart?" Steven queried, as Volley wrapped her arm around him and rubbed his softly.

"I....saw what Vivi had gone through. Dr. Schwarz and I had a difference in opinion but truthfully? After witnessing and hearing about what you had gone through...your corruption and the resolution...you were different to Vivi. You were born half human and half Gem."

Steven looked down his chest to look at his stomach briefly.

"Mom was like...I guess you could say that I was a human in incubation of a Gem." He said.

Four Square nodded.

"Exactly." She said.

"I didn't know of your existence until your name kept coming up on Gem Comms. So I tried to track you down and found all your exploits. I had been exposed to the Gem world from the Pink Sapphire and the Organisation for many years so I knew all about the Diamonds and the different eras...and the supposed shattering of Pink Diamond. But funnily enough, Pink Sapphire was the only one who kept saying that Pink Diamond was alive...and no one believed her except Dr. Schwarz."

Technically, she was correct to a certain extent.

"And now you have me...this sorry excuse of a Diamond..." Steven said, completely deflated and exhausted.

"You're not a sorry excuse Steven." Volley assured him with a warm smile.

"Volleyball is right." Four Square continued.

"In fact, your formation holds weight in the way I've been trying to save Connie. Using my research and what I learned from Dr. Schwarz...but maybe I won't need it...because I was so silly to think the simple solution to simply remove the Gem from her was going to help...but..."

Steven raised an eyebrow.

"Buuu-

It was then one of the Crystal Quartzes emerged from the room.

"My Diamond, we have a problem!" 

Steven barged in as he heard the heart monitor going crazy and Connie's body suddenly pulsing green every few seconds. This was definitely new.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

One of the Crystal Quartzes with a bob cut turned to him with sadness written on her face.

"We found the Gems location on her body." She said.

"So we made an incision into the skin and made all attempts to pull it out, but doing that...it's making things worse!"

As evidenced by the heart monitor. Damn...what did this mean? Four Square followed suit, roaming through past the Quartzes as she went to where they were looking.

"I thought as much." She said, as she picked up Connie's left arm. Steven could see the patch of red around the top part of her arm, exactly where that weird tattoo of hers was. Steven wasn't even thinking about the tattoo.

"Patch this up and heal it straight away. We're gonna have to find another solution."

* * *

Going back to his office, Steven slumped in his office chair as Volley and Four Square stood in front of his desk, their easiest plan failing miserably. There had to be another way...and this was just cutting off the branches and doing a process of elimination. This was by far, bending Steven's mind in the amount of complexities being thrown at him...he had to remain steadfast and not weak to the eyes of his Gems and the Rebellion. A heart that was broken constantly, healing on its own to push even harder. That was what being a Diamond meant, right?

"Did you know this wasn't going to work?" Volley asked Four Square.

Four Square exhaled heavily out of her nose as she crossed her arms.

"It's probably too far embedded into her nervous system." She explained.

"The body now believes its an essential organ. I mean, if we had gone to Earth to find a pr-"

"No." Steven said firmly.

"We're not resorting to Earth. Those Crystal Quartzes did everything right."

Four Square blinked.

"But Ste-"

He slammed the desk with his fist, stunning the two.

"I said no!" He called out once again.

"This is a Gem problem. It requires a Gem solution. Right now, Connie's condition has gone critical and if she corrupts this it's on your head Four Square. You helped create Vivi so you must be able to reverse what's being done to Connie."

Four Square adjusted her glasses, frowning as she then held her hands together in front of her.

"I wish I could promise that to you Steven." She said, her voice weak.

"I wish I-"

"ENOUGH!" He cried, his head falling into his hands as his elbows hit the desk. He lifted his head, to show his anger to her into the most honest and wrenching way he could provide. It was meant to intimidate, but really, it was desperation for a tricky situation and he just wanted someone who could help solve everything with a simple answer. But it wasn't...deep down, it was not going to be easy to find.

"Either TELL ME WHAT ELSE WE CAN DO....OR YOU CAN...."

His voice shifted from yelling to a stable conversation. Steven had to remind himself that he didn't always have to yell to get his point across.

"You can go out there and find something, _anything_..."

Four Square exchanged looks with Volleyball, whom was completely still, before she turned back to Steven.

"I have been working on one solution." She said.

"It'll take me a while to explain but..."

He didn't even budge...shaking in his chair as he tried to get his breath back. She felt Volley tapping on her shoulder, then noticed her shaking her head.

"I will...as you command, go and research...as long as I have access to the resources here." She said.

Volleyball turned to her.

"I will get you to speak with Cubedot; our primary technician." She said.

"Come with me. I'll take you to her."

* * *

It left Steven on his own, where in most cases, Steven thrived in the loneliness affording to himself and his own voice...or voices. There were no maddening ticks and tocks of clocks; only the thundering sounds of his heart against his rib cage. His mind couldn't take losing Connie and he would soon lose that mind before he let anything happen to Connie. A Gem, growing on her arm...a Gem, put there, unwillingly by Steven himself. How and why...why and how...why did she have to suffer? Through everything she had given to Steven in advance and she would get nothing beneficial in her return. That old mindset, perhaps...worth nothing and Steven being worth everything.

No, they were equals. They had to be.

"It's my fault...it's my fault...IT'S MY FAULT...IT-"

The room, empty save for Steven pleaded for hologram ghosts to show up like he did before. There was a strange therapeutic expression in the way his old madness had catered to him. He knew he was in no position, mental health wise, to handle this in anyway, shape or form. Freedom in the solitude of insanity...the silence...and that his heart beat might as well have been the ticks and tocks of old that had almost thrown him over the edge a few times. He heaved his top off on the desk and bawled his eyes out, but not before looking at the intersecting floating frames of pictures that sat on the left side of his desk.

He missed the Crystal Gems...he missed his Dad. He missed Beach City...and the chaos once deemed simple. He was around people he loved...he was in the place he loved.

Why did he have to run off to play King of the Gems, _yet_ again? So many Gems here, capable of running things without him...but if Steven fell apart, Gem society would fall apart, with some habits never really going away...only left dormant and in slumber for those like Emerald, Baseball, Bluebird and so forth to awaken ancient ideals again.

It would be easy to fall into the comforts of chaos. Outbursts that would have him tearing Rebellious Gems left and right...but that wasn't Steven. Then...who was?

This conversation again?

Steven had been told to continue to discover who he was but...right now, he was forced to be this...leader where he didn't want to be. And now it felt like he was back at square one, like everything he'd gone through had amounted to a complete waste of time.

"How am I going to fix this...I am not you Connie." He said, between sobs as he rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

"You've always been the stronger one...and I don't know what to do..."

Did he ever? Once upon a time, he could have and he did. Was it all that hopeless? He never had every answer...only that violence wasn't and this actions as of late had scared him.

"Unc Steven?"

Looking up, he could see Vivi standing there by his right hand side, apparently have had snuck up on him while he was crying. He didn't even hear the doors open.

"Hey-hey Viv." He said, trying to smile. He picked her up and sat her on his lap. The sight of her innocent face was enough to have him relax. Though from what Four Square had already said, this was not the original Vivi, even if she does resemble her and hold her memories. The process was indeed twisted and cruel....Steven wasn't given the exact detail by Four Square, but...poor Vivi had gone through a lot worse...

Connie ending up like a Gem wouldn't sound too bad in theory but...this was _his_ Connie...the original Connie...and while he could learn to love Gem Connie, it just wouldn't be the same. Vivi being here, the only one he has come to know, possessing her name and form..he would protect her with everything he could muster. It wouldn't matter if she was a Gem or not. She was someone...and she was _allowed_ to exist, facsimile or not.

It wasn't long until Volley came back running through the doors, as if there was an emergency.

"Okay, she's having a...oh Vivi...are you playing hide and seek with Spinel?"

And this... _this_ was normal. And life lived as it could under certain conditions. If Connie were to corrupt...then he would love that one too...and all of Connie's pieces...they weren't her but they were a part of her.

"Aunty Spinel won't find me here." Vivi answered.

And that it reminded Steven...of what the Diamonds had been searching for...parts of Pink left behind...Steven, Spinel...anything that resembled a reminder. It wasn't the best situation, but they could still appreciate Steven, love Steven and all of Pink's creations the same way.

"I've played hide and seek with her before. I'm not good at it...she always seems to find me quite quickly." Volley answered.

And he could relax. Connie was going to be taken care of. The mindset of Connie would tell him not to give up on her just yet...and that it was okay to take breaks every now and again. Steven did not want to fall into that trap again.

"Need more players?" He offered.

Vivi giggled.

"Gotta make sure Aunty Spinel doesn't find me first!" She said.

Steven couldn't help but smile, as he exchanged the same look with Volley...wordlessly telling her that he was feeling a lot better. He ruffled her head.

"Okay hide under the desk....me and Volley will go sit on the couch and pretend that we didn't see you okay?"


	22. The Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Volleyball makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now beginning to look similar to WotU...for a good reason.

It had been too much for him to bare it all on his own. Volleyball knew pain all too well and that her priority had been getting Steven through most of it.

She didn't like Four Square either; she was a stranger in a foreign world, but if Steven ordered everyone to accommodate her, then Volley had to smile through it. After all, getting the work done was far more important than minor grievances. She could get over it, since she liked tiny Vivi more than big Vivi, the tiny one more quiet yet cheerful and polite as a contrast to her her taller, louder and cynical self. Whether or not she had that influence or Steven and Connie was hard to say.

Pink Diamond was an influence to Volley in the past and if it wasn't for Pearl, it possibly could have challenged her further down the line in resolving her true feelings. No. The hurt would not go away but she could still carry on with her life the way she wanted and that within Era 3 encouraged self discovery. She wasn't the only Pearl who had issues adjusting, but she was one of many that were happy with the new rules to allow them more monotony with their own actions but would still fall under some kind of order out of Pearl's naturally designed habit.

She had spoken with another in Steven's Armada, Aubergine whom had the overall receptionist overseeing the flow of Gems going in and out of the palace, directing them to certain departments and getting calls from different worlds. Being Steven personal secretary these days however allowed her more even more freedom and the trust from Gems that were once seen as being in a superior position to her and listening to her for once. Most of them, anyway.

The Rebellion sort to undo all that they had worked so hard for, for this new era of Peace to be undermined by those whom benefited more so from the older eras...she could see the appeal...and it had come up in many conversations with the Pearl on Earth. That Pink sought to change how everyone was treated.

But being in a similar position for Volley felt right for her as well. Hearing that Steven was going to live on Homeworld to be with a Diamonds was a chance Volley jumped at, enthused at the first time to serve a Diamond again. Losing 8,000 years in a blink of an eye...it was strange and it was buried away in so much that had happened while she was under White's control. 

While in Pink's service she would be for Pink's ideas and games but found herself doing a lot of the important tasks that Pink would refuse to do, but Volley understood the importance of the structure, reminding her Diamond that it was important for them, even for Pink herself to conduct the roles they were made for. Pink put the pressure on some of the unfortunate incidents and would bring Volley into it, whom was happy to oblige, but there were too many moments where Pink Diamond was punished and it hurt Volley more so for witnessing her Diamond being yelled at.

Steven was a bit different in that regard. He had a further power involved that Pink would have had, but his spirit was a contrast. Pink could be aggressive and tenacious in her endeavours but the Diamonds would put her back in line...if only temporarily. Steven projected a different line, somehow getting them to change the power structure that had been in line for thousands of years.

Now it had been only just a few years since Era 3 began, a mere blink in the eyes of Gems but so much had changed already in the aftermath. So much to consider and shuffle and not all Gems would accept the changes in the tides. And Volley's obligations were a lot more...complicated than what Pearls were originally designed to do. More of the same, but leeway given in the voices they could provide.

Jaspers words rang in her head repeatedly. She had to prioritise what she thought was right and did what had to be done because she cared about her Diamond. Her first task was to check on Cubedot and Four Square in the labs, working on some complex code on the series of monitors. Cubedot was intrigued by what Four Square had to show, though Volley never understood it much herself. Four Square did have an unusual aura about her. Though the same could be said for Vivi...whom Volley wasn't really convinced was a Vivianite as Jasper once suggested.

Pearls generally knew nearly every single Gem type. Designed with the wealth of knowledge to serve as Gatekeepers of knowledge regarding Gem kind and its history. Reminders and holders of belongings. Possessors in what they should have known to provide. Vivianites weren't in the same design as Vivi was, although what had been told about Vivi's existence, Volley wanted to query further into.

"Ahem." Volley acknowledged.

"Cubedot. Am I able to speak with Four Square in private?"

The Peridot turned, surprised to see the Pearl, but nodded as they hopped off the stool and left the room. Four Square had the same stance and posture as a human, but then again so did Vivi.

"Volleyball, welcome. I'm surprised to see you here. Checking up on progress for Steven?" She asked.

Yes and no.

"Kind of." Volley replied.

"I'm...just a bit confused about the information you told Steven regarding Connie and Vivi."

Four Square shifted around patted the stool next to her, prompting Volley to come sit down. The Pearl was reluctant, rubbing her neck before she walked over and hopped on. She could see the series of floating monitors with stuff Volley just would never be able to get. 

"Our history is quite mysterious." She said, crossing her arms.

But surely, Four Square was able to talk more about it. She had developed Vivi, after all.

"Steven kept asking about Vivi's Gem type." Volley said.

"Jasper believes she's a Vivianite but...I'm a Pearl and Pearls know what certain Gems look like and she is not a Vivianite."

Four Square nodded.

"She's not." She replied.

She wasn't? Oh that was uh...unexpected.

"Truthfully, when I was working alongside Dr. Schwarz, we talked about Gem types. I wasn't really well versed in Gem production and how certain Gems were made but the Doctor claimed she had an entire set of documents that she had discovered that allowed to figure out what Gems she _could_ make."

Volley tilted her head. Steven found the whole growing gems inside human bodies concept completely immoral and Volley herself was disturbed by the idea herself and how it would even work to begin with.

"Cubedot has been instrumental in getting me to try and understand Gem formation in the history of Gem kind. It looks like a larger scale version of what Dr. Schwarz was trying to accomplish but...even then.. _.I_ don't know what Gem type Vivi is...since I was only part of the psychological analysis and software development team...and I've gone through the entirety of current and past Gem listings....and I've been wanting to scan Connie's Gem to find out more, so I can make some comparisons...but Steven refuses to let me see her."

His grief disallowed anyone, sans Volley, himself and the Crystal Quartzes from seeing Connie resting in isolation. He wanted this fixed so badly, claiming to submit to despair in a way if Connie goes, but promised to be there for her if the time would come and she would somewhat corrupt. It was just like last time...and speaking of psychological analysis...

"Steven....knows what its like to corrupt." Volley spoke with sadness, seeing how his own mind was fractured underneath it all.

"Connie was there for him through it all."

She was there despite the damage his Miasma had inflicted on her and the love they had for each other, Volley wanted to protect with her life.

"Yes, his so called, Wyrm or Leviathan." Four Square continued.

"And corruption can only be cured by the Diamonds."

Volley rubbed her neck again.

"Yeah, but...the Diamonds had also used Connie to restore Steven's mind. See Steven is half human...and Connie being human...helped reverse the damage done."

It wasn't that well researched, but from what the Diamonds could do, was patching the pieces together and uses Connie as a type of Conduit for Steven's psyche. It wasn't just the power of the Diamonds that restored him, but the humanness of Connie that had been pressured through to collect each piece.

"That's what I'm hoping to be the answer." Four Square told her.

"My idea is that Steven being half human was what saved him. If he had been a complete Gem, then somehow you would need the power of all the Diamonds to cure him. There's something within humans that's not found in Gems. One that can't be replicated through forming Gems from humans because there is a missing piece of the final product. "

Though Volleyball had the inkling that Connie was a key for what ever reason...her connections to Steven alone were, in ways she would never be able to full understand, were enough alongside the Diamonds to get him back to normal. Volley was a simple Gem, not meant for the diversity of thought...but Steven alongside the Crystal Gems opened up unseen lines, and seeing how things for how they were really were...and releasing the pain felt and kept inside for millennia.

"But the resolution for Connie is not like Steven. Connie was born fully human. But....I think I know a way we can fix this...and it's been my intent this entire time. I'd found the records of how things went down within Steven's corrupted form."

What did she have in mind?

"Steven will...not like it however. I know he hates me for what I have done already, but I've been running simulations for years an-"

No.

"If Steven doesn't like it obviously he's not going to approve it." Volley interrupted.

He didn't even like what was happening now...and given how irritated he was with Four Square already, then he was least likely to go ahead. But, Volley would hear her out and present Steven with this solution, no matter how horrible it might be. Though, her attitude lately had her pause and reflect on Baseballs words on how Pearls imitate their Diamonds; Steven's influence on Volleyball alone had her emulating his current state. She couldn't determine if that was a good or bad thing.

"He doesn't have to. But what choice does he have to spare Connie from the worst outcome?" Four Square continued.

Steven had the Rebellion to worry about more so than dealing with Four Squares mistakes. His patience had worn thin and so had Volleys. But unfortunately, Connie also had gotten worse...falling unconscious and into a fever like state did not bode well for her future.

"Listen, Steven has every right not to trust me. I was reaching out to Connie in ways that I was trying to protect her from Dr. Schwarz. My solution is already in progress and I can't stop now..."

What?

"What do you mean, _in progress_?" Volley questioned, suspicious.

Sweat started to drift down on Four Squares forehead.

"Look. I-I mean, it _is_ going to work. I can assure you. I've been keeping an eye on Connie for years, ever since she came under Dr. Schwarz's radar."

This...this was stuff Steven had to hear for sure. He'll know how to properly deal with someone like this and their exact punishment. She was about to leave, until Four Square grabbed her arm, preventing her from doing so.

"Volleyball please, hear me out." She pleaded.

Volley pulled herself away from this...mad woman. If she had purposefully been trying to protect Connie, she would have stopped it happening already.

"I can't." She said.

"It's not my job to listen to someone who's out to hurt my friends. Steven might see the good in you and maybe he will listen. If you wanted this to end you could have contacted Steven directly before it got worse."

Four Square shot back, looking down in shame.

"I....I wanted to. But... _she_...she would know I would be helping."

Volley was tempted for to hear her continue, but right now, She had to speak to Steven. Volleyball understood slipping of the tongue would be less than favourable, but if this...Four Square could learn anything from Gem kind, even with the early years of era 3, that some order was still in place. Not as strict, but emergency policies had matters under tightened lips. Being reserved was rewarded and taking the initiative would be rewarded if the risk was properly assessed and Steven left that to his Gems the moment he returned the rule them. What ever Four Square had to say, could not afford to be spill indirectly. Steven would want her to be blunt and straight forward and not loop around nonsense for hours.

"I will tell Steven you have something to say...and you know, Pearls listen and learn from their respective leaders. We choose our words carefully around our superiors."

Four Square remained her silent vigil for the moment, before responding.

"Then you will know how cautious I have had to be recently." She said firmly.

"If you think I should tell Steven and if he is prepared to listen, then I am going to tell him my solution outright. If he wants questions, I'll be happy to answer."

* * *

Tensions were thick as Volleyball took Four Square down the storied halls of the Palace, heading towards the Pink area. Steven had been with Connie at any moment he had to spare, talking to her, sitting by her side and holding her hand. As Volley entered, she looked at the girls face, still drenched in swear and the sunken shadows around her eyes. She could see the bandage wrapped around her left arm, her still frame underneath the white sheets. Steven himself looked exhausted too, his fingers interlocked with hers. Nightingales lingered on the bed, on Steven's shoulder and on the hospital equipment in the shades of their shadowy auras...part of which Steven continued to perceive alongside the butterflies....emotions still taking their toll on him.

"Steven, apologies for interrupting." Said Volley.

Steven smiled. He was always happy to see the Pearl without question.

"Don't apologise. You're here for an important reason." He told her.

"What do you need?"

Volley nodded.

"Four Square says she has a solution. But she also warned you might not like it. Do you wish to speak to her?"

The smile disappeared. Perhaps he was anticipated something painful to occur down the line...and that the biggest dilemma was how much pain was it going to cause Connie. Because Volley's choice of words called attention to the fact that it was not going to be easy...and someone, especially Connie, was going to be hurt.

"Send her in." He said.

Volley moved out of the way, as the click of heels proceeded Four Square as she entered. 

"Tell me what you found." He said, his eyes still focused on Connie's still face.

Four Square looked at Volley, before she looked at her clip board.

"Volleyball is not wrong. It's not the best solution, but evidence collected and analysed something that should work...the _Gem_ Solution, as you have requested."

Volley could have sworn Steven wasn't breathing for that moment, not bothering to exhale, waiting for Four Square to answer.

"But here goes. The only way Connie will survive this....is that she needs to be completely corrupted."

Words that Volley expected Steven to react with an instant flare up into his pink state...instead, he exhaled, his breath quivering. But he didn't change colour or glow, instead, he tightened his grip on Connie's hand more so.

"It's not something I planned Stev- it's."

He shook his head, the energy around him turning cold and hot in a twisted storm like paradox that you would know would tense, especially in a Diamonds presence.

"It's _something_ Four Square." He said, voice almost cracking.

"Either Connie dies from the Gem emerging and destroying her body. Or she corrupts and her body is warped into something else entirely. You know how this works better than I do. You designed it."

Four Square bit her top lip. She was about to mention something else, but refrained from doing so, being reminded of Volley's advice.

"Either way, I will continue to love what ever form she takes. I will not let her suffer...or I will suffer with her."

Tears began to fall from Four Squares eyes, staring at the Diamond Admiral in silent astonishment for a brief few seconds.

"Apologies won't help but...I really am sorry." She said.

She watched as Steven cleaned up the sweat on Connie's forehead with towel. His compassion was said to be legendary and here it was, in its purest form. His way through the forces of the Diamonds and getting them to change their was had always been seen as a love it or hate decision according to what Four Square had discovered, but right here was all she needed to see...was that she made the right choice.

"If you can...Four Square, another thing..." Steven continued, his voice remaining soft under pressure.

"Vivi was working on Earth, trying to find out more about Dr. Schwarz and a Professor Naranca before she got struck. Since you worked on....Vivi...do you mind telling me...anything you could know about how we can restore her memory?"

Four Square put her hand on her mouth to prevent herself from gasping, before trying to answer his question.

"Naranca....a name I haven't heard in two decades." She said with the hint of fondness.

"But for Vivi...umm..."

Again, she had to choose her words carefully around this...Steven's distress could tip either way at any given moment, instability at how hard he had been taking this right now. The revelation of her solution had been impactful enough and she was grateful Steven could listen. But for this...

"I can try find a way...but do you need help with Connie from me first?"

A loaded question, surely. Four Square knew what to do and could willingly respond anything Steven asked of her. She had to make amends for what she had been doing and had spent years trying to uncover a way through this with the least amount of destruction possible.

"We'll need to make preparations for that scenario before we do anything." He said, a single tear rolling down his cheek before he kissed her forehead and sat back down. He kept wishing his kisses would help and as fruitless as it was, that it would bring Connie some comfort, that somewhere in her aimless dreams that she knew he was with her.

"But tell me, why would you choose corruption over...over the incubation being completed?"

A question she had hoped he would ask.

"Because...the solution lies _within_ her corrupted form. I know it does." She said.

"As Volleyball explained how Connie was crucial to your restoration, I truly believe, that you Steven, hold the key to hers."

He shot up out of his chair, his eyes closed shut and stunning both Four Square and Volleyball as they both jumped in surprise.

"I've cured Corrupted Gems with the help of the other Diamonds." He said.

"Unless you know where they are located...."

"We might not need them."

Steven opened his eyes, staring at the bed, before they went up to meet with Four Square with a look of skepticism. Volley was a bit wary of Four Squares 'enthusiasm' or the desperate equivalent.

"And if this doesn't work?" He asked.

A deep breath was taken, before Four Square could properly reply.

"Then we try and find the Diamonds, where ever they are. I will help with that too if you so need me to go out there."

He walked around the bed slowly, the fatigue in his face and the exhaustion in every step as he looked up at the woman. She who claimed her switch of allegiances so suddenly...and Steven had every right to be angry with her for forcing him to go with this moral dilemma. He hated the fact that this was selected but if he could pick the lesser of two evils, he would have chosen the same but on different principles. He had to think hard and logical on the best way to approach this...and the least painful way to get it done. Connie might never forgive him for doing so, but he would rather Connie hate him than her being dead, the worse of the two outcomes.

"We don't have much choice...but..." He said, looking at Connie before paying attention to Volley. If there was anything Steven had learned from not just being here, but from Connie herself, is that it helped to organise and be prepared so ultimately, Steven had to think hard about could be done. Not the fastest path but the most logical which may in turn, require short term planning and longer term planning shortly after. He thought back to his own troubles and how everyone had been patience and diligent with him. Connie deserved that. She deserved everything good coming her way and so, Steven was going to do everything in his power to make sure he could get this right...

"Have you got a safe space for us to take her to?" Four Square mentioned.

He looked at her with a twinge of annoyance, but she had a point. Doing this here wasn't going to work for what they wanted. However, there was somewhere they could do it without too much destruction, knowing how Steven had dealt with Corrupted Gems in the past...except...this was different. He had an idea.

"Volleyball, I need Connie taken to the Leviathan." He ordered strongly.

The Pearls eyes widened.

"Oh?"

If they were going to do this, then they couldn't risk Connie corrupting on Homeworld. Too risky. Going into space, however.

"The only way we're going to do this is with controlled conditions." He said.

"Get the Crystal Quartzes to take her in. The central dock should have sufficient space. Let the techs know it's for Protocol 384."

Volleyball nodded, summoning her headset out of her Gem as she pressed against the comms button, running out of the room as demanded. Four Square was definitely coloured impressed, though unsure of what Steven asked of her prior. Steven took Connie's hand and gave her one more kiss before the Crystal Quartzes came as commanded, as Steven took himself and Four Square out of the room, watching as the Gems got everything prepared and a few minutes latter, saw her being dragged down the hallways of the Pink Palace...and the dread by then had already settled in...butterflies and nightingales in full view around him. This just had to work.

"You still need me to help with Vivi then?" She asked.

He looked at her, though didn't display his characteristic smile.

"I do. I've got to rally my people...as I do know the Rebellion is definitely going to notice an entire Fleet surrounding Homeworld, a show of force they'll recognise as a threat. I'll need to enforce lock down and security measures before we depart too. I won't leave Homeworld defenceless...as for the civilians. I'd rather have you both in close proximity. Head to the main palace, I'll chat with Spinel to see that you both get priority on board."

Sounded reasonable. Four Square glad he knew what he was doing then...placing her faith in him was not misplaced.

"Sure. I'll head over right now." She said, then smiled.

"And Steven? Thank you for giving me this chance. I will not fail you."

Now she sounded like a Gem. He nodded in acknowledgement as she walked off

Once she was out of sight, he went back into Connie's now bed less room to gather her things. He had a feeling they were going to be there for some time. Jasper warned him about the prospect of having an active assortment of space ships clustered together...but this....this had become his new priority. The thought of Connie corrupted horrified Steven to no end. So he did the right thing and made sure Connie's bag was packed, taking her clothes out of the drawers and getting her toiletries out of the bathroom. Though as he was packing her navy duffel bag, he noticed a crumpled sheet, took it out and unfolded. The photo of himself and Connie by the beach...and her smile, and his goofy expression. Simpler times..that had him clenching the shirt of his chest as he sat there, slumped over it and tears falling hard and fast, dropping onto the photo unintentionally.

He wasn't a saint. Far from it. He wasn't a fan of controversial decisions, yet he was making them more so than he had planned. Corrupting Connie was the last thought on his mind but Four Square was blunt enough to have him consider that option more so...but deep down, she knew more than she was letting on...so fundamentally, he could have thanked her for taking them this far, but she reminded him too much of the Diamonds and their attempts to curry Steven's favour and yet, all that they thrust upon him earlier, he never actually forgave them for it. But it was, incredibly important to keep civility as that was far more favourable than being their enemy. They were family...but the Leviathan kept telling Steven that they deserved what had been coming to them and Steven cursed his Leviathan for thriving in vengeance when it all it had to do was accept the pain was move on...

Though even that was a struggle, weeping and shivering as he grasped onto the photo tightly. Was he ever going to see her face like this again? Anything could happen, though there was too much agony in just thinking about it. So he put the photo into his pocket and zipped up her bag, standing it up as he slung it on his shoulder. He inhaled, sucking it all up around him as he tried to make face, tried to remain strong because that's what Connie would want him to do. Once he found himself stable, he made the first set of calls to everyone he needed to, pressing against his comms button and walked out of the room.

For the true horror had yet to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uhh yeah...guess whom I need to draw now huh?


	23. The Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Diamond Armada is almost ready to fly, but Steven catches up with an old friend as they begin to work more on the solution to save Connie.

Everything counted on this working perfectly.

He had the best Gems on the job, working day and night to construct the fleet. The Largest Dreadnaught, the Leviathan as well as its six sibling ships, frigates that would serve to display a show of force. Steven was prepared to get even more serious..as he was becoming less fearful of showing force than he ever had been; having more to lose if he hesitated one too many times. 

He stood above a balcony well above the docks. It was at least several hours before lift off and final check ups were being put into place. Leaning on the guard rail on the starboard side, he could see the long, pink sheen and rounded Leviathan in the centre and the six ships surrounding with multiple colours. They were long and more thin, designed for quick maneuvers and rapid fire. Going from the top right clockwise, Steven thought of each of the frigates. The Top right one was white; The Dondai and DeMayo The direct right one; Orange; the Garden of Beta. Bottom right, Yellow; the Diamond Demeter. Bottom left, purple; The Rose Nova. Direct Left; Blue; The Cloud Rider and lastly, the top left one; Green; The Wings of Maheswaran. 

That last one was supposed to be a surprise for Connie and Steven wanted to see the look on her face...she would have been so excited to have a Ship named after her...but...

He had other things to take care of but...he wished he could have gone with her as she was transported into the Leviathan central dock. She was under the direct care of the Crystal Quartzes who would look her after until...

Steven didn't even want to think about it. He would have to go into there at some point, but there were last minute things he had to care of before lift off. 

* * *

Flashing back to the night before, Steven was stuck in his office, left trying to figure out a way to directly corrupt Connie, an awful line of thinking he hated going down, trying to tell himself it was for her sake. Leaning on his desk and mindlessly looking at his screens, Volleyball had mentioned that Four Square had arrived to speak to him and he gave permission to let her in.

Four Square stood in front of his desk as he pushed the screens to his sides so he could look at her properly, her hands behind her back and attempts to look professional as she wore a long labcoat over an orange turtle neck and black pants, adjusting her frames and pushing her out her poofy ginger ringlets outwards as they discussed the situation.

"Corruption was usually induced one of three ways." He said, going from what he already knew.

"Via the Diamonds, fusing with someone who had already been corrupted and catching it from them, or BYW-3. None of which, we have access to."

All four Diamonds at that. All the Gems within the Temple were well and truly cured from the last time Steven remembered.

"There was a Chemical plant on Earth that produced BYW-3 which had been abandoned for years." Four Square told him.

"I'm not certain if there would be so much as a single vial of it left but it's just a suggestion."

All Steven could recall in broken memories was when Bluebird injected the chemical into his neck with the device that forced the corruption to quicken. 

"Connie also mentioned that the Brewery closest to Jayhawk had it as well." Steven told her.

"Holly Blue and some human had come to collect drums of it is what I assume. Is the Chemical that scarce to find?"

Four Square pursed her lips briefly, unsure if she wanted to reveal a great deal.

"Reports were that you wanted it gone. You _made_ it scarce." She pointed out.

Steven blinked. Oops, he forgot.

"Oh yeah I kinda did." He said, silently annoyed himself. 

"Where would they have taken it, I wonder."

Four Square rubbed her hands together, Steven noticed that when she was trying to think.

"Underneath Jayhawk." She revealed, though going from her exasperation, she wasn't too enthused to talk about it.

Furrowing his brows, Steven found that to be strange but also a bit logical if not confusing.

"The Dean...has basically her entire secret lab there where she conducts all of her...experiments."

Yet, Four Square was the one who sent Lars the message not to go there...now that he thought about it. She must have been planning this for years; examining Connie and finding out more about what was happening his life, especially during what Steven deemed to be his own Corruption Crisis. How far this went in depended on how much Four Square was willing to divulge. He wasn't foolish, Jasper even said to keep her on a very short leash in case she tried something funny.

"We _need_ that chemical." He said firmly.

"And you think that that either we go to Jayhawk to find it...or you think a sample might be at this chemical plant...."

A nod indicated much. Steven hummed and debated his options. It'd be safer to send out Gems to the plant if Four Square gave the coordinates for something that may or may not be there. But the Dean would have had an assortment at Jayhawk as well and that was so much more riskier as well.

He wish he had Garnet here to tell the truth...she would pick the best the option, for sure.

"Send me to Jayhawk." Four Square offered, pressing her hand against her chest.

"You can send a team to the plant. I just need access to transportation."

If Four Square was up to something he needed someone he could trust to go with her to Jayhawk. Someone inconspicuous and less likely for them to get caught. With the Fleets being worked on with some of his best Gems...maybe he would need to resort to someone on Earth being able to go with her. None of the main Gems...and since one Green Gem knew he was here. He pressed a button on comms to speak to Volleyball.

"Hey Volley, can you get in touch with Peridot on Earth and let her know we're going to send someone their way there...and I need a second Recon Squad ready to go to a secondary location."

* * *

Going back to reality, Steven still hoped he wasn't placing faith in the wrong hands. He could trust Peridot. Peridot put to work on anything and she was as fearless as they come. Inhaling, Steven admired the clear air, trying to engage some kind of positive attitude in a situation so dire and cruel. He closed his eyes, imagining Connie behind him, her spirit hugging him in the attempt to get the butterflies he had his shoulders to disappear. Her hands on his chest and a head resting his back. He tried so hard to contact her before...sleeping, dreaming and seeing he there, somewhere in this fragile existence. But she was no where. She was a picture on a wall, or a voice on the radio. But never really there.

Everything left behind by someone else...a form...envisioning Rose's painting becoming Connie in the exact, same position and elegance. He should be doing more, he should be working hard to preserve what was left behind.

This wasn't the end. Steven refused to let it. Connie was there, he just had to find her. He wanted to find her as he tried to touch her hand on his chest, only for her ghost to disappear in sparkles that were taken by the winds.

He...he had to appreciate the sacrifices Four Square had taken so far. He still didn't quite trust her, blaming her for everything bad that had happened to Connie so far. Then again, she had been invaluable so far and the risk for her to go down to this...secret lab as she called it, was massive. She didn't even want Steven to go to Jayhawk, perhaps the reasons why were much more complicated. Those thoughts stopped as he heard footsteps behind him.

"Steven, I have reports from our teams we sent." 

Steven turned, hearing the voice of Volleyball behind him with her hands holding a datapad in front of her.

"Four Square would also like to talk to you."

Right now, he wasn't sure if they had time to do so.

"She said it was important."

Steven wouldn't deny it as such. Looking over the ships one last time, he followed Volley back to his office.

His head was down, unsure of what he was going to expect from it...although as he walked inside, he saw another figure standing right next Four Square. Green with the triangle shaped hair. His eyes widened, the sense of....something akin to nostalgia, a force so powerful that he gave into it, instantly running up their surprised as he picked her up and hugged her as tightly as he could.

"Peridot!" He cried out.

Doing the same, the gem in question relished on the chance in seeing her old friend again.

"Steven, woah, I wasn't expecting that reception, but I'm really glad to see you too!"

He let her go...not certain how to pinpoint that sudden reaction; the relief of seeing someone he hadn't seen in a while, a familiar face from Earth, smiling and being there and despite orders to stay away, pushed barriers on her own accord to do what she felt was necessary, to help out in her own way.

It reminded him too much of a certain someone.

"Sorry, it's just...it's been hectic here lately. I'm just..." Steven scraped out, as he wiped away a tear.

"Never mind. So...I...suspect you're here for a reason."

Volleyball whispered something in his ear about hiring her to help out with Four Square on Earth. Explained a lot. But that meant...both of them had gone to Jayhawk? Steven crossed his arms and nodded, wanting to know the results of what they had found together.

"Peridot was instrumental in getting into the Lab." Four Square explained.

"There's a lot of Gem Tech down there." Peridot mentioned.

"And a lot of stuff I recognise from Gem Production. We...may have an argument or two...or three."

She would know more than most in that area, being part of that which helped create Gems in the first place. As long as there were civil and Four Square must have been able to reassure Peridot that she was on there side and either seriously aimed to fix this, albeit it still rubbed Steven the wrong way. Trusting Four Square was only to be able to let her prove her worth. She had been honest but withholding much that Steven anticipated was locked within, with Four Square only spilling out what she wanted to. His heart so desperately wanted to say she was a good person and that instinct could guide him to be nicer to her than he had been. Recent times, in it would state, made it harder for him to let others, especially those like Four Square whom had been involved in questionable works and allowed them to happen.

Then again, he still questioned the Diamonds, his relationship with all of them put under the same amber shades of doubt more so and his hard work to get them to reform didn't always ease the anxiety within him. Four Square was just the same.

"But we got a sample of BYW-3. Though, as Peridot continued to question me as to why I needed a sample...I told her to talk to you. And here we are."

He could appreciate Four Square not divulging the whole story, but Peridot must have suspected something was up as Four Square asked her about it. Giving the clearance for Four Square with a note with Steven's signature should have been enough, although too much as it had Peridot invested in what was going on. Mistake or not, he had to think how to answer her question without breaking down too much, as it still hurt him deeply to talk about...

She instantly noticed the sadness on his face; indicating that it was pretty bad.

"It's the stuff that corrupted you Steven." She said.

"As last I recall you wanted all that stuff gone. And what I saw within the Lab? Four Square wouldn't answer me that either, so I figured you of all people...there's something more to this...you're not corrupting again are you."

Steven shook his head.

"No I'm not." He said, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"But...I...I don't know how to explain it."

She walked up to him and grabbed both of his hands; looking up to him. She was a bit shorter than he remembered.

"So what gives?" She asked, genuinely concerned.

"You can tell me and I swear not to tell anyone else. No one else knows you're here and I haven't said a single word since I found out."

Bismuth and Lapis were the only other ones to know...sussing it out according to Connie. He took a deep breath, taking a stance to dislike lying to his friends anymore than he already had been. Could Peridot figure a solution? No, he didn't want her to be left finding it all out on her own, the burden to carry this secret alone must have been a burden on her, since Peridot loved to talk.

"It's...it's Connie." He revealed.

"She's...not doing so well."

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"She's not well? I don't understand."

Tears started to well up again out of his control, his throat tightening again on having to explain it to her, as Volleyball put a hand on his shoulder in basic, but welcoming comfort.

"Can I explain it to her Steven?" Four Square asked, her voice firm yet respectful.

Did he have a choice? Peridot was only going to ask more questions, so he nodded. It didn't cross his mind that Four Square had actually held everything back and would only explain the details with Steven's permission, knowing much he found this a sensitive topic. Four Square's had to deal with her own, the troublesome and horrific ordeals she herself had gone through...that she too, did not feel comfortable in sharing so she could definitely sympathise with Steven, but feared his anger and his progressive stance on matters would continue to evolve into something far less favourable. She'd heard so many stories and even now, he still showed compassion to what was so close to his heart. A premise, Four Square was too involved in once upon a time, and her own regrets, the Nightingales that flew all around her, all the time that she couldn't ignore...but could walk through the assortment of bad memories to provide what unorthodox comfort she could give.

So Peridot turned to Four Square, taking her hands back.

"I assume you know all about Vivi?" Four Square told her, eyes going to Steven in as split second.

"The one whom we didn't know what Gem type she was and had some really weird accent?" Peridot said.

Steven forgot Peridot didn't know about Australia.

"Yes...well, that was the same place where she was...made." Four Square explained, struggling herself to push through.

"She was a student of the college...."

Steven hadn't heard this part, which grabbed his attention immediately.

"She was there on a scholarship. She had all...the genetic markers Dr. Schwarz had been looking for. She only needed my help to monitor and replicate certain characteristics of the...original Vivi."

Confusion was still on Peridots face, unsure of what Four Square was presenting to her. This a bit different to Connie's situation, although he wondered how it was related...connecting the dots to what Bluebird had told him prior, that Connie had indeed been altered somewhat from Steven's original Miasma, although he wasn't exactly sure if thats what Four Square meant...these, genetic markers; exposure or natural genes? He wasn't a scientist, but studies into different species on different planets had Steven understand evolution and mutations based on probable and improbable factors at play when it came to organic life.

"So all those tubes and equipment we saw..." Peridot muttered.

Steven knew the answer.

"Vivi was originally a human kindergarten." He said, then clenched his shirt.

"Right now that is happening to...Connie."

Peridot's eyes widened in horror.

"Oh my stars..." She gasped.

"So _that's_ what that stuff was for....I mean, what's the status of the Gem?"

Steven swallowed, looking back at Four Square.

"It's too late to remove the Gem without killing her." She continued, coming her fingers through her curls.

"Which is also why I suggested the lab. I downloaded the old data from Vivi's production and found Connie's file."

This was serious. They had taken advantage of the fact that they had knowledge of who Connie was and how she knew Steven. He raised his hand towards the desk, allowing Four Square and Peridot to use his desk to upload the data. The two did so, as Peridot sat down and inserted the chip she had into a slot by a small black box peripheral. Peridot used her fingers to bring up multiple screens, demonstrating charts from both Vivi and Connie.

On the left hand side came up Vivi's profile and the right was Connie. Steven was taken aback by Vivi's however...as it showed off an original photo from her human days.

Pale skin, still with the freckles. A brunette with longer hair that had purple dye at the tips, fading away into the brown as it got closer to the roots. Her eyes were pure green and innocent in the glints she displayed and the smile she projected. Her scores were phenomenal. But then underneath status, was the word "Dormant Asset."

"What does that mean?" Steven asked, as he leaned over to squint at the small print.

Four Square lifted her chin.

"Vivi was being used by Dr. Schwarz at the College. Which means, it was intentional to place Connie in the same room as her. And some of these notes indicate Dr. Schwarz had been wiping Vivi's memories repeatedly. See those comments regarding rejuvenation? The Dean must have been trying with many potentials prior to Connie....and using my work to do so."

Good grief...this was getting worse the more they looked into it. Really, what was Dr. Schwarz's aim here? If Connie was hearing this she'd be mortified...

_Would you hate me if I said, I wanted to leave Jayhawk, leave Earth behind and stay with you on Homeworld?_

Steven wished he could have answered that question properly. If he had have known that it was this bad, he would have encouraged her to stay far away from Jayhawk as possible. Go to another college because as much as Steven wanted her here, she had ambitions and strengths and dreams to follow. Human dreams and that she had chances to map out her life.

"What exactly is your work?" Peridot queried.

Four Square had been exceptionally knowledgeable, working alongside the Dean in the pursuit of her immoral dealings, formations within formations.

"My work...before it was mean to be meaningful. I had hoped my work to be used in meaningful ways. To help people...those with the conditions that would disallow them to live normally and give them the chance to express themselves in ways they either lost or never had the power to do in their entire lives. I never meant for this to happen."

And now that it did...it was too late to say sorry but it was never too late to make amends. Steven kept looking back and forth between the reports. Connie's bio had so much information. Her parents, her date of birth, her studies and general history. Involved with Steven Universe, Son of Pink Diamond. Involved in the Diamond Crisis, Involved with the Spinel incident. Involved with the Corruption Event. Blood work included stuff Steven could barely grasp without using some kind of thesaurus, but the notes on the Miasma...corrupting her DNA were something that he definitely did recognise. 

"I was right about her body not being able to handle the corrupting Miasma." Peridot commented.

"The changes ended up being permanent."

This made Steven feel even worse. 

"Even after me and the Diamonds cured the corruption?" He questioned, remembering specifically doing that straight after he was cured.

Peridot rubbed her chin.

"The corruption disappeared but the damage had already been done to her genome." She explained.

"Maybe not damage, but permanently altered her DNA. Adding BYW-3 on top of that was a recipe for disaster."

The description wouldn't matter. Steven couldn't get rid of the butterflies either way.

"Connie was originally dosed with partial traces of BYW-3 during the Frenzy Incident." Said Four Square.

"Then in the attempt to get it out of her system, I mixed my spit into water and her to drink it." Steven added.

Only the next on the long line of mistakes he had made.

"So why give her more BYW-3?" Peridot queried, wanting to know further.

This was Four Square's department, as Steven eyed her off with the silent tell to get her to talk further.

"The development cycle is known to have the Gem emerge from the body. Killing the host instantly upon emerging." She said.

"The Gem is basically a parasite that continues to consume energy from its host."

Which was why Connie seemed tired all the time, not to mention delirious.

"Which matches up with Gems taking the resources around their environment to grow." Peridot added.

"But wouldn't this just speed that process up? That doesn't make sense."

Yeah, it didn't. That's what Steven failed to understand as well. BYW-3 for all intents and purposes, was a succeeding Gem fertiliser that helped with Gem Growth over all. If Connie was given this, then it would force the Gem to emerge prematurely. Four Square was under the direction impression that it would corrupt her instead.

"There was a theory I formed during the original incident." Four Square said.

"Steven, you were given small doses of BYW-3 despite already being part Gem. The result of it had corrupted you so I spent most of my time researching as to how that was happening."

It wasn't creating a second Gem, was it?

"He was getting another Gem?" Peridot put forth, having the same exact idea.

Four Square sighed, scratching her scalp.

"No, well at least I don't think it was." She stated. She reached over to the bottom monitor and popped it up in between Vivi's and Connie's profiles; showing a picture of Steven instead.

"Dr. Schwarz had studied biology and meta-biology. I would assume the answers we seek would be in the notes she had collected from her Gem associates. Namely, a Pink Sapphire and an Aquamarine."

Those two little buggers...

"The Pink Sapphire I have met before. She was...exceptionally creepy. But besides that, she predicted Steven would have corrupted based on the effects of BYW-3 had on his unique biology. An imbalance. But from what I learned from the Dean myself and I could be completely wrong...but I think that BYW-3 was trying to treat his body as the environment when it wasn't and trying to treat his Gem as the seed when it wasn't. The reactions were that the process was that BYW-3 perhaps was telling the Gem to consume more energy than it needed to. The body was treating this like a virus in slow motion."

Hence the fever he had.

"Normally, in regular human bodies, white blood cells are designed to fight off infections. In this case, your Gem was doing that for you and due to your unique composition, was trying to fight off the BYW-3 at the same time."

Made sense. Connie used to tell him about how sickness would work. Steven never really got that sick prior...if he did it was never for long.

"But as the BYW-3 is also encouraging the Gem growth, weird side effects begin to emerge. The Gem fights off the infection, but it's getting the wrong information constantly. In AI development, it's all about programming machines to think along certain lines so it knows how to respond using unique algorithms to provide answers, going off trees of calculation and percentages of probability using existing factors put into it."

Steven was totally confused.

"Uhh...can you put that into Layman terms for me?" He asked.

Peridot put herself to that task.

"What she's saying is that if you ask it what one plus one is, it's going to answer with two. Ask it what two plus two is and it's going to be four."

Ah. Yes, that made sense.

"Peridot is correct." Said Four Square.

"However, if it comes across something it doesn't understand it can either not respond, respond with something different or shut down due to feedback loops causing it to crash and simply not work. It was my job to prevent that last one...as the other two weren't normally huge issues since it never normally an error but an oversight. The latter is fine since all one would need to do was to add on new lines if necessary so it would be able to answer properly when adjusted. But errors that force results that end up...breaking or twisting it were errors you want to avoid if you can. Now, taking that into an account with Gem functionalities and your status, BYW-3 was messaging your Gem with the same illogical question that it couldn't respond...as this was happening over and over again, your Gem was beginning to freak out from the pressure...given what was also happening to your mental state, it was entirely plausible that it was overclocking on what it was supposed to be doing."

Overclocking...he's heard it been used before but not in this context.

"I know my body reacts in strange ways to my emotions and alters my powers. I understand that much." Steven said.

And yes, Steven wouldn't deny that what he had gone through was deadly and traumatic, a part that had surely played up and ended up corrupting him in turn in the end. 

But if Steven could even begin to fathom what Four Square was saying, he assumed that BYW-3 was turning his body into an incubator but his Gem was already full formed so...

"Your Gem was trying to protect you, when it didn't know it was corrupting you instead." Four Square revealed.

And a chemical like this could do that?

"You want to corrupt Connie. How will this work? She was born fully human." Peridot pointed out, noticing the flaws in the theory.

"Either the Gem emerges normally and becomes something like Vivi, or she corrupts permanently and...she will be able to be cured by the normal method we know?"

Peridot was right. Although Connie was still human when she was corrupted last time and they were able to cure her all the same. If they could find the Diamonds and bring them back, surely they could do it the same way.

"Honestly, I'm not certain." Four Square admitted.

Steven furrowed his brows, furious.

"How could you not be certain? Connie could die outright if you're wrong!" He called out.

He needed this to work for sure. Losing Connie because of some miscalculation would have Steven fuming and outright losing all hope and life himself if that happened. He'd sworn to himself to love Connie or what ever was left behind, but the pain of it all was too much to bare.

"Because I'm only basing it on what happened to you." Four Square said.

"We have to try."

To try. It was human to try despite the odds. Corruption due to imbalances as noted, Gems reacting because they don't know how to react. The dilemma at hand was heartbreaking more so than it had, now that the time to act was approaching. They kept skimming through the profiles to figure out the next steps, going through Steven's ordeal as its own resource. He noted that Eyeball had directly inserted a more concentrated amount of BYW-3. Going from Vivi's profile, BYW-3 was designed to act slowly, the incubation period was meant to be staggered and stewed carefully to allow the BYW-3 to act on its purpose. Hastening it could cause all sorts of troubles.

"We also need a sample of your blood."

What?

"My...blood?" Steven squeaked.

Four Square nodded.

"I need to synthesise something that resembles the Miasma."

If only he could temporarily corrupt himself to provide it. 

"Couldn't you just use my spit?" He said.

Peridot and Four Square exchanged glances.

"We could. It might help too." Peridot said.

_Might..._

Going to the Palaces Labs to extract his blood and get a sample of his spit was a difficult ordeal due to the fact that Steven never had his blood extracted before. He took off his big long jacket and handed it to Volleyball, who carried it, standing back and watching Four Square and Peridot get all the equipment. Steven lifted up his sleeve as Four Square had a syringe, poking it into Steven who made a minor flinch as the woman drew blood. Peridot then had her own little beaker and ordered Steven to spit into it.

"How long will this take?" Steven wondered.

He could see his blood being inserted into a vial, as well as a sample of BYW-3 and his spit in seperate ones and being put into a special rack.

"Since we don't really know the true composition of the Miasma, it might be a while." Four Square answered, she then noticed Steven's ire; his impatience brought on by the fact that Connie didn't have a while to spare.

"Peridot and I will get to work asap, hopefully we'll be able to use these tools here to get a better understanding of what needs to be done. I...will definitely try and get things done before the Fleet lifts off."

* * *

Hours passed and it was gauging on the half hour mark until the the Fleet was ready to depart.

Steven had been with Volleyball, carrying their respective datapads as they were at the entrance to the Leviathan, a platform that will allow a part of the ship to open a diamond shaped hole and raise a light bridge to let one inside. The latter was speaking with a Crystal Quartz that been part of the group that had transported Connie inside, while Steven was checking on his datapad with the status of the other ships. Most of them were doing the last points, checking on logistics and final weapons checks. He noticed in the corner of his eye as the Crystal Quartz ran back into the ship, as Volley walked up to Steven.

"She said everything is ready now." Volley confirmed.

Good. Well, for the lack of a better term to use in the fact that they had his girlfriend imprisoned in a shielded part of the dock and watched around the clock.

"No further change other than increasing temperatures have been noted."

Then Four Square better hurry up with that....Corruption Juice or what ever they decided to call it. He had doubts since Four Squares assumptions were as thus, only based on what had been observed. Peridot's point didn't help either. Connie was only human, not half Gem. She would have been a hybrid like him for the same solution to work twice.

He hated this more and more.

"How are you feeling?"

A question scarcely asked these days. Usually because Steven's current mood had them fearing his replies each time. They shouldn't and he really wished people would...made him believe they really cared. But they were his...people...and he was supposed to ask them how they felt. His obligations were just like before...a repeat of his childhood. Consequences for failure were just as immense, just as tense and tormenting. 

He would say he had learned a great lot from everything he'd come across. A simple road trip turned into a trip to the stars with everyone's lives along the line again, the stakes higher especially when Steven was in charge when he didn't want to be. He wouldn't lie and say he didn't resent being put into this position and as much as he wanted to blame the Diamonds for this problem this time, fundamentally, when it came down to it, it really was his fault, the turmoil stronger than it had been and he had been unintentionally releasing his anger out on others because of how frustrated he had become. Was it better to keep his anger in? No. Was it healthy to release that anger against others? Also no, but to call people out on their mistakes with a reasonable discussion and explanation what he should have been doing. No real right or wrong way...just the fact to vent and channel his anger for good was all he could really do. Gems weren't like humans. They had been programmed to be a certain way and as much as Steven wanted to break habits, he couldn't do it with everyone so he went with Amethyst's advise and played to strengths instead.

"Exhausted." He said bluntly.

He tried to imagine what would have happened if he didn't come back to Homeworld. Would it have been worse of it if he denied the Rebellion their chance to fight? They could have found out another way to get underneath his skin otherwise, and here they were, not even touching him and all Steven ended up doing was hurting himself again.

"Did you want to rest before? We can delay the departure...I should check how long since your last sleep a-"

Steven shook his head, pushing down Volley's data pad.

"No. It's fine." He said.

"I'm waiting for Four Square."

Volley frowned, knowing how Steven was hinging all this on a figure he held a low opinion on. Volley believed Four Square was doing what she could and would have hoped Steven would feel the same. Conversations with Pearl on Earth had her become enlightened in Steven's primary outlook into believing in everyone, even those whom had wronged him. His ability had waned, but Volley would dare not comment. She would think, in her own head that he would still have a bit to spare for Four Square with what ever he could, depending on her to find out a way to help someone he loved so dearly.

Pink had done the same. Despite the accident, Pink tried to fix her...but White ended up taking her away and the next thing she knew was waking up an entirely different era. Oh she had missed so much...and how she cried to herself, in her lonesome on how Pink Diamond no longer existed, but carried the courage to carry on since, but still, the pain never went away until Pearl brought it up...and Volley just couldn't keep it in anymore, the confusion, the denial just made things worse.

She discovered that...the pain she had gone through...she could understand his a lot more and never realised that until recently, her eagerness to assist was born out of the same depths. Denying the aeons of strife to help others with their own.

He must have noticed the worry on her face, staring at her as he gave her a weak smile emerging like the sun cracking through the clouds. 

"Thank you for asking me."

Moments later, Four Square and Peridot were seen running in their direction as Four Square was carrying a steel, square box with a black handle. Finally, though relief was soured by reminders of what they were using this for.

"Four Square, Peridot."

The woman presented the box to Steven as he gave his datapad to Volley and took it. It was kind of heavy.

"Sorry it took so long." She said.

No. He was thankful that it was doable. The uncertainty over everything had clouded Steven's head. He had to be grateful for anything that could be done to help...just like how he used to be.

"It's okay." He said, stern with those words.

"Once we're up in there, we'll begin the process."

It sounded so formal and direct...an experiment on its own and it was awful to position it as such. But it had to be done, risks and all. He then handed it the box to Volley who put it into her Gem. He then looked at Peridot, her gaze on him not going unnoticed as he walked up to her, kneeling before her as he put his hands on his shoulders.

"I know we didn't have a lot of time to catch up." He said, smiling at his friend.

"But I really appreciate that you doing this for Connie."

Peridot smiled too, a tear forming on the side of her.

"I'm glad I got to see you...Lapis and Bismuth will be very jealous." She said.

Indeed they would be. But..he was reminded of something...something that had been brought back to him after all these years. His venture to Homeworld...and his call for help.

There was something deep inside of him that told him to make more contingency plans. They had one for him and so he had to make one for Connie just in case.

"Peridot I know its asking a lot but..." He said.

"Just in case this all goes south, I'm going to try and contact Earth directly...there's going to be be a rather unconventional way but if you get the message take it to Bismuth. She'll know what it means."

That just perplexed the poor Gem.

"Shouldn't I know what it means?" She asked.

Steven grinned.

"Maybe. If you can interpret it as such." He said.

"Either way, it'll be our way of knowing what to do. Just...trust Bismuth like you normally do."

It still had her confused, but otherwise she went along with it anyway, as she gave him one last hug.

"What ever you say Steven." Peridot said, squeezing him.

"Just...good luck out there okay? If you don't come back home I'm telling Amethyst."

An empty threat really, but he knew what she really meant.

"Understood loud and clear Peridot." He said, letting her go, walking backwards and giving her a salute.

"Farewell."

* * *

Moments passed, as Steven, Volleyball and Four Square went into the Leviathan. Inside the pink shaded OP centre, Steven sat on his chair in the bridge, overlooking his Flight Lieutenants. Yellow Pearl; aka Basketball and Blue Pearl; aka Soccerball. Cubedot was on deck as well, as Volleyball stood by Steven's right side as well as Jasper on his left. The latter had trained numerous other Gems to take important roles in the fleet and made sure Homeworld at ground level was going to taken care of as well. This felt more official than anything, flicking switches, calling out the jargon on status reports, only waiting on Steven's word in the end.

The bridges design had several layers with their lit up consoles and screens, as he had his seat on the fourth layer, below him were the two other Pearls, below them were Cubedot and friendly Aquamarine (whom Steven affectionately called Aqua for short) and on the lowest tier were four more Nephrites. They were mostly used as field leaders to talk with the other ships and to check their status, as every other ship was manned by a single other Gem and a Nephrite respectively.

"Your crew you need one of your lousy speeches." Jasper told him.

By lousy meant inspirational. She wasn't on board with his spiels but they worked irregardless. He looked at Cubedot who activated the camera as it popped down in front of him from the roof in the form of a white pod that had four fins pop out and spin around a bit as it tried to get focus. He cleared his throat, stood up and had his hands behind his back as the red light that went on told him he was live.

"Crew, the time has come for us to depart." He started.

Each of the ships had their multiple Diamond shaped displays spread across the bulk; each Gem was able to witness everything he was going to say.

"Ever since the decision to create this Armada, I feel like we've come a long way. It's been tough, I won't deny it...but you've faced tougher and you have the potential to be a force to be reckoned with. Some of you even have experience with the original rebellion thousands of years ago. For and against the original Rebellion. I am proud to have such a unity of strength and courage and will continue to be grateful for everything everyone has ever done so far. And now we're finally here...and we're ready to take this to stars and show them how it's done!"

Nerve would take Steven, if it weren't for his heart providing the shield, to allow that inner doubt to be deflected in his words.

"We will get the Diamonds back and restore peace to the universe! You will have this Diamonds word. Steven Diamond out!"

The camera popped itself out, as he was met with applause with his bridge gang, as he sat back down.

"Very nice speech Steven." Volleyball complimented.

Steven felt it was rather dull and dry, but needed. Energy was hard to find these days, given what he had to spare to carry with his duties...but it was important to keep encouraging others, or else they wouldn't have gotten far as they had...and he was so thankful that he would do anything for them if they had but ask. With reason, obviously.

"Thank you Volleyball." He said with a smile.

"Alright everyone, it's time for take off. Be ready..."

He put his hand on his intercom to touch base with the Captains of each Ship. The Pearls, Nephrites and Cubedot spoke with the ground teams to get the docks to widen for their departure, disengaging multiple locks that had been holding the ships in place while they were under construction. Once given the all clear, he gave one last call. 

"Dondai and DeMayo, Garden of Beta, Diamond Dementer, Rose Nova, Cloud Rider, Wings of Maheswaran; Have your engines hot, we disembark in 10, 9. 8...."

He couldn't believe he was really doing this.

"7, 6, 5."

Admiral of his own fleet, not something Steven Universe had always planned, only in games mostly. He could sense an odd aura, like it was just outside of his peripherals.

"4,3, 2"

_Good luck, Steven..._

"1... LIFT OFF!"

One by one, each of the ships popped out vertically...from the Dondai and Demayo, to the Wings of Maheswaran, like literal clock work until the Leviathan was the last to rise and shoot off into space, their voyage, only just beginning.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Underground Labs at Jayhawk, a tall human woman with curly blonde hair, a lab coat on top of a black blouse and skirt and black high heel shoes and red glasses walked hunched over a console, watching a feed from Homeworld itself as the Fleet had risen out of the atmosphere and within the heralds of space, while a short Pink Gem stood behind her, hands in front with a smile on her face.

"He's right on schedule." She said, through her black lipstick, matching her long white nails.

"Anything we need to know about his operations? Where he would lead them Sapphire?"

She looked down, before looking up again.

"They're seeking to sabotage the project Doctor." She answered.

"Subject GCZ-4 is going to be compromised."

Not on the Doctors watch as she leaned back, her eyes going completely dark as she was growing annoyed, a bit of black sparks flicking off of her form.

"We need to take advantage of this. I can't risk losing her. What about PCZ-3...? I swear I should have shattered that Lazuli girl for misplacing her Gem."

The Pink Sapphire tried to use her Future Vision again, humming as she did so.

"PCZ-4 is also on the Leviathan. A major event will occur on the Dreadnaught and will affect both of them."

Dr. Schwarz slammed the desk, shaking everything around her as electronics seem to fade in and out in short bursts in response to her anger.

"I should have known better than to send that Fusion to Astraea." She commented.

Pink Sapphire lowered her hands.

"I said Steven would be there. I never advised sending anyone." She said.

The Dean swung around as she glared at the smaller Gem.

"I ordered her to observe and not make contact. What is with you Gems and happily wandering into situations that get yourselves killed?"

This had been extremely hard to deal with, with GCZ-4 being the most difficult. Even PCZ-3 didn't give her much grief... if only OCZ-2 were here, as the Dean sighed.

"Dismissed Sapphire." She said firmly.

"Send that idiot to me when she gets back, I need to make a few calls...one to our dear friend Emerald."

Pink Sapphire bowed to her.

"Of course, Doctor. I will be standing by."

As she left, the Dean pulled up her chair as she sat down and decided to light up a cigarette as she pulled herself to her desktop. She clicked open a folder, showing a picture of herself sitting next to a voluptuous and plump woman with ginger hair next to her, running her fingers over the screen as she looked at with such a loving fondness. It had been far too long and their last arguments didn't help matters. What did she not see was good with what they did? They had everything going for them until most recently. What they doing wasn't cruel at all; but the mere creation of a new line, a new dynasty that will have both Gems and humans bow to their fantastic power.

"Professor, if only you didn't leave me..." Dr. Schwarz said.

"You were the only one willing to take the opportunity to be greater...standing by my side as an equal. Our kind has no place here...one day surely I hope you see the light and return to me. Once PCZ-3 is reclaimed and GCZ-4 is given salvation, then we will be....complete."


	24. The Evolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven faces his worst fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it comes...

All checks were done to ensure the take off went smoothly, as well as the monotony of the aftermath, spewing numbers and words relevant to the work alone. 

Steven sat in his chair, his right elbow on the armrest, holding his head. His fingers splayed across his face with the smallest hint of bags under his eyes. Jasper to his left, Volley to his right, their hands behind their backs. The ship itself was above orbit on Homeworld, the Bridge Crew had been communicating with the others in the Fleet, checking on their status as well as the status on the Homeworld Security forces left behind to take care of it while they were gone. Goodness knows how long this would take. Steven wouldn't have had it to leave so soon, if pressing matters didn't cause them to do so.

They didn't need him while they did this; most of the parts were minor at best and that they were at a safe distance anyway; prioritising the testing grounds more than the full onslaught. Simulations were trialled hundreds of times, but to see this thing in action was another story in itself. So Steven stood up, the eyes of Jasper and Volley on his every move albeit they themselves frozen in place, awaiting his word.

"Jasper." Steven said, low and authoritative in tone.

"Man the bridge, I have important business to attend to."

The Orange Gem nodded and saluted him.

"Aye Aye." She said.

As Steven left the bridge, he walked down the hallways, as Volleyball went to follow him. His every footstep felt heavy as he made the slow walk and she could tell from his slight slouch that he his thoughts were weighing upon him heavily. Observing without comment had been Volley's only real vested ability, being one of the few people who could get close to him without him lashing out. 

This type of weight Volley knew all too well. Her Diamond carried so much. Volleyball knew this because she had possessed her burdens, never the lightest any one Pearl should hold. The turmoil on one shoulders, tends to drag but for him...for a Diamond was to stand up tall, in the face of adversity despite the many setbacks a Diamond would encounter and have encountered in ages past. Pink Diamond had a similar walk. There was something about the toll people in general had to pay for who they were and what they were. Anguish and having to cope with the multitude of failures. Volleyball didn't have so much as to see the failures Pink had encountered in the same fashion as the other Diamonds, but the emotional impact on her had been immense time and time again, that Volley had to be a good Pearl to be by her side. Even if it caused Volley pain in return.

The differences between Steven and Pink were few and far in between and Volley had to tell herself to stop with the comparisons. Steven wanted to view Volleyball as his sister more so than his Pearl. A Sister, an organic concept. Related and grow up in the same circle as their creators. A Pearl to another Pearl and a Diamond to another Diamond; a similar sense. But a Diamond to a Pearl wasn't in there as there was just too much in between to consider this...sibling relationship he wanted them to have. Human concepts were strange to her, but she could see such advantages in such interesting perceptions of life, some of the things she had learned at Little Homeworld about humans in general.

As for Steven's relationship with Connie, it was a lot more complex. These...Homeworld Gems failed to understand the depths. Most Gems wouldn't fathom the reach of how far their feelings can run. Volley had seen it and only understood that how Steven during his corruption saw Connie first. Saw her and knew, that in his shattered mind that she was someone he could trust. Pearl taught her about corruption and how Gems would act feral, mindless because they just didn't know any better. Garnet would say that their instincts were fight or flight. And that when questioned, they said the closest they had come to reaching out to a pre-cured Corrupted Gem was when Steven had dealt with Nephrite, whom once they had called Centipeetle.

Gems could get love but they couldn't understand it's trickiness. They can adore, cherish...up until the point came when it could get ugly. Volley had seen ugly with Pink and still felt love towards her. She'd seen ugly with Steven and still felt...this unknown bout of compassion, the loyalty to her Diamond that couldn't be shaken off even if he was but a leviathan as he called it. Most people would run. Those who knew Steven well enough, wouldn't, staying and sticking by his side. Love took dedication and hard work. Volley had witnessed this through Steven and Connie alone and yes, of course she was going to support both of them. She had to. Steven didn't want her to be afraid...and she wasn't. Well, she was but she wasn't going to say it. She's had worse put upon her personally and she can strive to assist where need be.

And still tell Steven he didn't have to hold this weight, this burden alone.

"I have reports from the Crystal Quartzes that everything should be ready to go." Volley told him.

He stopped in his tracks as she said that, though he didn't respond.

"Volley, you've....never seen corruption have you?" He asked all of sudden.

Only knowing that Jasper had been corrupted once, but she never went into detail or even talked about it. Most of the corruption detail came from the Crystal Gems, as Volley missed out on the entirety of the Rebellion and everything else that followed.

"No. I haven't." She replied.

Should she have?

"But I understand enough about it. Do not worry about me Steven. I am to be there on call if you need me." She offered.

Though, it reminded of one conversation she did have with Jasper, now that she thought about it...saying that Corrupted Gems were once Crystal Gems of old that deserved to be punished for their crimes against Homeworld...and that was it...and another conversation on how she wanted to witness the event unfold herself.

"It's not necessary." He said...still not turning around to look at her. His voice was a bit shaky too, from what she could hear.

"It's not...it's not something I want people to witness. I don't want anyone seeing this. Just...get people on standby in case... _in case_...."

She could hear his uncontrolled sobs, pressing her hands hard against her chest as she ran towards him and forced him to look at her, hesitating for a split second before wrapping his arms around him. Again, he was surprised by the gesture, but as she felt him return the hug, his arms around her waist, she was humbled and honoured that Steven allowed her to do this. Only so few, could witness his tears...a moment of weakness. He pushed back as he wiped a tear from his eye and tried to compose himself.

"Thank you." He said.

"I meant to say, I just want to be prepared. That's all."

Volley nodded, understanding him completely. That's why they were here. She saw the way Connie stood her ground against him and that the connection they shared was going to get them through this. She's seen them both achieve the impossible many times.

"Jasper also wanted to know if she could be there. I mean, she is your Vice Admiral."

She was. She was and that wasn't the problem. Steven figured that after everything Jasper had gone through, the last thing she would want to see was corruption first hand.

"If she feels she's up to the task...she's welcome to. But she doesn't have to." He told her.

"Understood." Volley responded.

"I'll bring her over to the Central Dock Room in ten minutes and inform the Bridge Crew."

* * *

The walk felt like the longest event he'd experienced, his head low, eyes on the ground but he wasn't entirely focused. No, his mind became transfixed on happy memories with Connie; hoping that it would carry on in hers with what she was about become. He felt miserable and the self-hate wouldn't go away...even if this would set back his therapy sessions by a huge amount. But he wanted some form of Connie to still live...to be there. Four Square had to be right in mentioning that this was the favourable outcome, the lesser of two evils when ti comes to this type of ordeal that had happened with Vivi prior. It sounded just...awful and cruel and absolutely despicable to be done by any self-respecting human, or gem, for that matter.

The central dock room was mostly empty with pink walls and metal alloy flooring and had four levels, mostly containing pink hand ships and Roaming Eyes in their own bays on the outer parts, designed for the walls to open up to let each of the ships out. Levels 2 to 4 were catwalks and level four had a single catwalk bridge from port to starboard in the middle of the room. A four sided barrier contained Connie in a light blue hospital gown, Steven on the top floor catwalk closest to the bridge of the ship, crossing his arms as he watched the Crystal Quartzes take her body off the gurney that had her still hooked up to IVs. He dreaded this next part, watching over as they hooked her arms and legs up to a special restrain. Four blue cubes that hovered, with two above her and two below. They lifted her arms up and spread her legs, as beams of blue light chains shot out from each of the cubes, clamping her wrists and ankles and holding them in place. Standing back, Steven instantly hated the sight of Connie on this thing, but understood its importance more so, as it kept her upright. Still unconscious, Connie's head slumped forward, the cubes spreading outwards and stretching out slightly.

Steven's heart raced and pulsed in his head, taking out the mini injector out of his pocket and holding it in his hand like it was Connie's heart instead that was beating so hard. How much he could believe could restore life to her, to flail and to be feral like a wild animal.

Because he _knows_ corruption. He _knows_ what it looks like. He wasn't going to spend it on regrets and while there wasn't an answer, he wasn't going to spend what little time they had left on stupid questions either nor was wanting to press the truth of his fears in front of her right now.

He looked to his sides. Jasper had come to his left and Volleyball to his right. Two staunch allies and friends that had been with him on this punishing journey so far, that they were going to be here to help him even if he protested against their presence beforehand. He could see Four Square on the starboard side, silent as she examined the situation. He wasn't keen on her being there but right now he didn't have the capacity to be petty about that.

"My Diamond, you sure you don't want me to do it for you?" Jasper asked.

Jasper knows corruption too. She knows what it feels like. Just like him. Both of them, torn to shreds mentally and by hard work, put back together again...for the most part.

The only other people in the room were Spinel on the third level on the port side, alongside Vivi. He didn't want her there either. Either of them. Vivi was...Steven wouldn't think she would be keen to see that...otherwise others were watching through screens, mostly security that were monitoring for any major issue that Steven will command them to address because he wasn't silly. Something was going to go horribly wrong, no matter how careful he had everything planned. Perception and perfect foresight could be striven for, but never fully achieved.

"I will be fine. It is only something I can do. But thanks for offering." He said, continuing to stare at the injector, before focusing on Connie. The barrier faded away briefly as the Crystal Quartzes walked off in all directions, before it was resummoned into place. 

There was so much at stake here. The butterflies swarming him, the Leviathan looking over his shoulder, the ants around his feet and spiders on his throat. All his tormenting animal friends there to bring him down, when he could only ever walk forward for himself.

"Understood loud and clear my Diamond." Jasper declared with a salute.

He was...kind of glad she was there at all. On top of her experiences, she was ironically, the most stable and capable. The Ultimate Quartz by his side was an honour and a tribute to their mutual respect.

"We're not going anywhere. We will wait for your command." Volleyball said, doing the same with such confidence that Steven highly valued.

"Thank you." He replied, looking between the both of them.

"Let's just hope this works."

He jumped down from the catwalk, with a soft three point landing with his eyes closed. Slowly standing up, Steven strode towards Connie with his posture as he walked so upright as to not show fear or despair. He had to hold on to his love to seek this through because never in his life, would he condemn anyone to this fate.

Because it was painful, agonising...brains on splinters and mind in fractures. The grey strings on faces...Steven never wanted to experience that again. But...what would it comparable for that mind to be lost, altogether, as opposed to breaking with the hope that healing was possible?

It had to be. Connie brought him back. So Steven had every obligation to bring her back too. He had the allies, he had the resources and the anticipation instead of the doubt he become so accustomed to in recent times. There was no going back from this...

Walking up to her, her head was slouched forward and her form was so limp and lifeless. She was still there and as he looked at her left arm, still bandaged up from the attempted surgery. It would have been akin to shame for her, surely, that would have gotten Connie to this stage. Or the shame was on him, for allowing this to fester for too long. Something he could have done as soon as he felt it all turn dark...the messed up photos and everything. He stood before her and wondered, how her parents would feel? How would...his Dad feel...how would...the Crystal Gems feel if they saw this. Disappointed, disgusted...Steven was glad they weren't here and that that it could've gotten even worse with such interference. With one benefit of being a Diamond was most people listening to you and actually doing as they're told to.

It wasn't like people didn't; it was just Steven's expectations of how people would react to it all. He couldn't handle it anymore than he could handle this. But it wouldn't matter. It was him doing this and he would not let anyone else commit such an atrocity besides himself.

"Thank you Connie...I wish this could have been done differently." He said. She wouldn't be able to hear him, but somehow, he felt like she could.

"I will bear any price to pay, if only that you still existed. I either lose you...or lose all of you. Maybe you could have said that you would have preferred to become a full Gem if gifted that choice and I will fully support that choice if you did. But...if what Four Square said was true, that the Gem that would emerge wouldn't actual be you. It would only be a facsimile that would have its own thoughts and feelings ya know. I had every hope she would be wrong."

She could still be, but right now there wasn't a lot to go on with.

"But this is the preferred path right now. And you know, it won't be forever...it just won't be. I know it won't be. It can't. For now, I will continue to look after you and love you no matter what."

Tears dropped down his cheeks and onto the floor below like a downpour as he walked closer to carry her chin softly in his hand. Eyes closed shut...zero response. His heart ached and his spirit burned for one more kiss on the lips, one more drive around and motel visit where they could look at the skies or make out or just chill. He would always want more...

" _You hear me?_ ' He asked aggressively, choking and glaring as he pulled out the mini injector from his pocket and raised it with a shaky hand towards her neck.

" _ **I** **love you!**_ "

His hand hovered her neck for the longest time. Memories of Connie looking after him during his corruption came to his head in spades. Her hand on his cheek, her warmth, her laughter. A tightened throat, head banging with hesitation and distress. He made a quivered kiss on her cheek, closing his eyes as he jammed the needle into her neck, pushing in as the BYW-3 concentrate was injected into her blood stream. He pulled out after as he stood back, his eyes still focused on her. This was critical and was going to change everything...and no amount of good deeds would ever get read of the fact that this had been his fault all along. It always had been.

"Cut the feed!" He ordered.

"I do _not_ want this recorded."

Volleyball brought out her datapad as Steven made the command, then looked at Jasper, arms crossed as she looked back at Volley then focused back on Steven. 

He wanted this to be private as the barriers around the centre turned solid pink, preventing anyone else from seeing in. It was not going to be a pretty sight to see and the human concept of privacy wasn't just a human one. Steven would be the only true witness and he wanted to be. He had to be and no one else. Anyone would try could only envision the terrifying sequence that would unfold over an unspecified amount of time. Tension riddled the Dock like nothing else, with the only ones within the room anticipating for the worst to come. They had to give the chemical some time to process around the body, as humans had a strange way of processing foreign properties; flowing throughout things like blood streams and letting the compound reach out as far as it could. The first signs were normally spots on the skin in random places, (if how Steven's corruption would compare to anyway) then random attributes would start showing (like Steven's horns did) Connie's form probably wasn't going to be exactly the same, but it didn't make it any less harrowing as to what her form would look like; an image no one really liked to think about, but the subconscious would betray them and present them with the worst case scenarios. They could be here all day until any change could occur, but the extract and concentrate was designed to quicken the procedure so...maybe a few hours? Minutes maybe? Who knows. Corruption was a wild thing and with Jasper here, wanting to be here was surprising, but Volley could already tell that she had been extremely uncomfortable, but had to be there for when her Diamond needed her. 

Volley admired her tenacity and dedication; the Pearl felt the same way. If Steven couldn't find himself having to deal with it any more than he should have then they were prepared to take the course of action, if only Steven but ask.

They waited a good few minutes. While the barrier cut off visuals, it didn't do anything to cut off the sound, hearing strange noises from within it. They started off soft, the slightest sounds of shuffling about. After a while, they could hear breath that turned heavy and small cries and whines. This happened for the first several minutes...and on came heavier breaths and larger whines...even slight _popping_ and _snapping_ noises that would cause one to shiver...that was mild until about ten minutes in....until...

**_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_ **

Her screams echoed everywhere as they caused everyone in the room to flinch, with Jasper looked away, tensing her fists as the screams continued. Long bursts, short burst...words incoherent and splattered high pitched at first, almost deafening. The pitch then lowered, followed by bated growling and the heaviest set of breathing that they could hear. No one was looking forward, only looking down with their hands in front of them, or in the case of Spinel and little Vivi, the latter had jumped into Spinels arms, absolutely terrified and confused, but otherwise tried to look on despite not getting any real visuals; leaving the event to the imagination and that probably will never compare to what travesties were going on within. Even the mysterious Four Square had been off put, looking away as she bit into her knuckles.

This had gone on for a while... until...

 _Boom, boom. **boooooom.**.._.

The air thickened with something fierce...the room shook underneath the influence of a massive force. Volley could see the barriers rippling under a thump against it on the other side.

Boom, boom.... ** _Booooooom..._**

Harder this time and the scratch of metal consistent.

Boom, boom....Boooooom....

Silence....

.

Then....

.

**_RYAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_ **

An inhuman, beastly wail was the loudest noise in the room as it shook the most violent that the barrier even struggled to hold on. Volley feared for Steven's life as she used her data-pad for the command to unveil the barrier. So...they could all now see the monstrosity that had finally formed before them.

Connie's body, now colossal in size, was still chained by the magical tethers to her wrists and ankles, was long and black primarily with a faint, thin dark bluish aura like membrane around her skin. Her feet with thin toes were like long talons with dark green claws and thick and heavy grey stone, square shaped anklets with moss like coverings and a circular line carving in the middle of each side above her ankles. Bent over long legs, narrow that reached up to wide hips covered in a shroud of mostly green with little mix dark blue and turquoise feathers spread across the pelvis and hipbones and a white line that just above that with a small, triangular dip in the middle. Her torso was very thin too, dipping at the hips and the upper part almost emaciated in shape as the black skin display the outline of the lower parts of the ribs. Across her chest were rectangular grey stones that were akin to a binder of sorts, with more moss like shapes and colours across a patterning carving of border lines and and circles. On her upper left arm was her Gem, small but fully emerged, the same shape as Vivi's - the tilted Square shape that was like a Diamond but it wasn't and out from it were small green geometric veins. Her arms, stretched out, bone thin and at the ends of her both of her wrists were bracelets in the same design as the ones around her anklets...almost like the set were akin to clamps.

Her head was massive. Round for the mos part, with pointed elven like ears and what Steven could describe was the same stone designs and green moss blobs that had a horizontal line on her forehead forming a box shape across her entire head like a helmet with no top to it replaced with more long, mostly black with hints of green, blue and turquoise striped feathers popping out from towards the front and curling behind, reminding him of her hair in a very obscure way. From the forehead vertical line that popped out across her face, replacing her nose that went to another horizontal line that acted as top lip and beneath that, an over bite and hundreds of tiny fangs. Her big round eyes opened on each side, glowing a bright almost neon like green briefly, before turning black with small square shaped pupils that struck Steven down so hard as he couldn't help it but keep staring into them.

Her head rose up, opening her mouth as she made a horrendous, piercing screech, as six wings popped out from behind her, three on each side. They were bat like in design, with only some feathers at the bottom of each wing. From behind her came a long, rat like tail with another stone square attached towards the end like a ring, as she smacked it about it, whacking and denting the metal grounding beneath her. She spread them far and wide, wavering as stamp to intimidate as feathers fell off and disappeared into blue sparkles. 

The energy in the room turned dark very quickly, as Steven was the only one standing in front of her, not budging, only staring and waiting. He had no tears, standing firm and stoic under the immense pressure he was in.

" _Steven!_ " Volleyball cried, worried about the dangerous position he had been standing at.

He raised his hand up, telling Volley to continue the silence. His body language was a lot different from before. Jasper herself was stunned, eyes widened as she held her hands on the railing, trying to understand what she was staring at. She shouldn't have been looking but couldn't find the strength to pull herself away.

"We should be down there. This was a mistake." The Quartz commented.

"This Corrupted form...it's nothing like I've ever seen before."

Volley continued to watch as Steven looked at Connie, of avian and ancient designs mixed. An unusual form of corruption to take by far, going from Jaspers commentary.

"Most... _unexpected_."

It was then Steven shut off the chains that kept her upright. He stepped backwards as Connie fell on all fours, apparently too top heavy to keep upright. She shook her wings; a sign of intimidation (or stretching, who knew). Volley was shocked herself, as Steven willingly set her free. Connie instantly tried to escape as she shouldered the barriers, but otherwise calmed down as Steven started to speak.

"Hey, hey it's okay." He said, smiling as her tried to assure her. He then gestured towards himself.

"It's me Steven. You know me."

The creature lowered it's head, dwarfing Steven considerably as the inner blue squarish pupils spun clockwise and anti-clockwise, like she was thinking as she was examining him. He could hear her echoed breath and the slight sniff and clicking snarls from her throat. Definitely primal in nature but Steven refused to give up. She tilted her head slightly, before jolting back, unsure of what she was smelling. Her attention was suddenly grabbed, her head snapping towards the sounds of crying, as Steven looked over to see that Vivi had run off in tears, with Spinel calling her name as she ran after her. Connie's eyes were also looking at Vivi, before she noticed Four Square going after them as well.

"Jasper, return to the Bridge and update me if need be." Steven ordered, voice stern and strong...without weakness. Cool, calm and collected; much unlike his mood previously.

"Volley, go see to Vivi and the others. I'm going to be here a while."

Jasper was still in shock herself, unsure of what to do until Volley tapped on her shoulder, bringing her back to reality as she took in what Steven just said. She shook her head, then saluted, before going to the front of the ship. Volley stood there, witnessing Connie turning her head back to Steven, whom refused to move. She would worry, but she trusted Steven to do the right thing as Connie seemed relatively stable in this form so far. Her head had gone down again as Steven ran his hand over the stone parts of her face where her cheek would be, that it might trigger some kind of familiarity within Connie who could only making those growling clicks. 

She wasn't going to lie; Volleyball knew that she herself was terrified about it all. But in the face of such adversity within her mind, she followed the orders of her Diamond; leaving him in the room alone with Connie in peace with themselves and went to find what the others were doing.

* * *

An event Volley would have never envisioned witnessing in her thousands of years existence; corruption in motion. Seeing Steven corrupted; it was a similar, chest thumping feeling that had her feeling sad and full of pity and pain and love that one would say was yearning to see things put back to normal asap. That would be their forthcoming goal; maintaining a level of normalcy, if they could find the Diamonds in time. But seeing Steven there, now unwavering now that the worst task he imposed upon himself was done, they could begin to focus purely on recovery efforts... an aftermath restored. They still had the Rebellion to take care of, but if Steven finds himself confident enough, then he will take command again. Volley knew he will.

Volley eventually found Spinel and Four Square in one of the hallways, towards a ladder going to a lower deck. They were too busy looking at what was going on in front of them, with Volley squeezing through to get a glimpse of what they were looking at.

Before them, was a shrivelled up Vivi...only, she was much bigger, wearing purple shorts, a hoodie, runners and her hair in bangs and no much else. She shivered, holding herself as she lied sideways on the floor, in agony as she cried.

"What happened?" Volley asked.

Four Square hummed, as Spinel eye's widened.

"She's remembered who she was; the effect of the Rejuvenator is gone." She said.

Four Square ended up squatting next to her; the propagator of all this mess yet was still a complete mystery to Volley. She didn't blame Steven for not fully trusting her.

"Vivi? Vivi it's me." She said.

"It's me, Celosia. Remember?"

She suddenly stopped crying looking up at the woman as she smiled at Vivi. It took her moment, before sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Professor? What are...you..." Vivi said, trying to make sense of what was going on around her.

"Damn this isn't Earth, what the fuck?"

The Professor smirked.

"It's a long story." She said. She got up and gave Vivi her hand. The Purple Gem squinted, skeptical.

"How do I know it's really you? Huh?" Vivi questioned.

Typical of Vivi to give into doubt so quickly. She hadn't changed that much.

"Oh...well, maybe a certain...quote? Let's see. Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity, Reduce selfishness, Have few desires. Sound familiar?"

Vivi rolled her eyes.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit quote about greed...what about the other one you told me about?" She said.

Extra doubt on top it seemed. Okay then.

"What about, doubt everything; find your own light."

Vivi sighed and groaned, covering her eyes with her hand before she gave her other to Four Square. The latter chuckled, as she pulled Vivi on to her feet.

"Fuck, I need a cigarette." She said, still trying to find her bearings.

Spinel and Volley exchanged glances, before the former raised her hand to her mouth.

"Was this the reason why she suggested to bring Vivi along?" Spinel asked in a tightened whisper.

Volley blinked. She didn't even think about it. Spinel had knew about Rejuvanotors herself, but this...Celosia...wait.

"You're Professor Celosia Naranca? The one from the College?" Volley questioned.

The woman adjusted her glasses as she faced the Pearl.

"Yes, I am." She said with confidence.

"I'm sorry I couldn't say anything...especially in front of Steven."

This should have been obvious to Volley. She was too stupid to not connect the dots. The Lab, the knowledge about everything she had come across. It made sense.

"Where is Diamond Boy anyway?" Vivi asked.

Volley pursed her lips. He really didn't need this right now. But when he was ready, he could come back up and join them. Clearly they needed to have a discussion about this and she aimed to suss it all out on Steven's behalf. So that way they could figure out the next course of action...and also find out what Vivi found out on Earth. So far, she was bit annoyed that the Professor deliberately hid her true identity from them and once Steven finds out, she's not sure how he'll react; his patience was already on thin ice with her even if he tried to act cordial. So Vivi had to take command of this and fast.

"Occupied." She said.

"It's important we don't disturb him. Why don't we find a room where we can all talk?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could have art of Corrupted Connie. I do have some kind of concept art, but it looks horrible and I don't really want to post it haha.  
> What I had in mind was kind of combination of the Shadow Beasts from TLOZ: Twilight Princess, the Colossi designs from Shadow of the Colossus and Hagravens from Skyrim. I'll try and get some design out there at some point, but if you can make any sense of my description coupled with the above in mind, then you should have the gist of what Corrupted Connie looks like.


	25. The Facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Volley finds herself in a difficult position, as new revelations come to light.

It wasn't anything new. It was part of the job after all and what she was designed to do.

But Steven was occupied with important work; prioritising Connie like he was supposed to. She needed the most support and that support could realistically be only provided by him right now. So Volleyball did her duties and the rightful thing in supporting Steven, as she always had.

She had been in one of the Meeting Rooms aboard the Leviathan; having taken Four Square, aka Professor Celosia Naranca, Vivi and Spinel as they discussed the current situation. Not sure if they needed Spinel here but words were thrown about in regards what was the appropriate thing to say or do if Steven wasn't around to be the mediator. Volleyball wasn't used to being a such; but in any case, being Steven's proxy meant she had step it up, more than she ever had to. 

The room was long with wooden table in the middle, spread across the room with a viewport window. Pink carpet with wooden walls purely for the aesthetic, with a projection disc in the middle and a series of pink chairs surrounding it. Volley and Spinel stood on the head, as Celosia was on the side closest to the door and Vivi on the side closest to the window. The room was tense, with Volley having to bring all her skills to the table, figuratively speaking...

Over the last few months, Steven had been educating her (and Jasper when she was willing) on many things, ranging on leadership skills and tailoring her to a more prominent role. The Diamonds never bothered to improve the curve on that count, shutting themselves away and developing more of their own abilities than directing Gems like they used to. Some Gems used to depend on them greatly and there were moments some literally had no where else to turn. The thing about free will and letting others decide for themselves is that choices can be made based on opinions, facts and the overall feeling of the choice on moral grounds. Gems that had looked up the Diamonds for guidance previously, were told to head to Little Homeschool to be educated by the Earth-bound Gems to get a better understanding.

Some did go and some preferred to stay, still unsure of the whole Pink Diamond wasn't really shattered but reincarnated into an entirely separate person who just happened to have Pink's Gem but wasn't actually Pink herself. Some had gone down the line of getting advice from other Gems, forming opinions of their own accord like they were supposed, but as it turned out, such advice was never really solid, clear or downright absurd. 

Gems whom had been recalled from constructing colonies and told to stop due to new rules and regulations, who's sole purpose was developing colonies. Some took to it better than most but others were confused and left in the dark with what to do with their supposedly free lives. Steven, after a lot of deliberation, determined most of the Rebels were confused and angry and that in that paramount, blamed himself for being too eager to get the Diamonds to change their ways and to stop destroying everything they touched. He wanted to free Gems, but not cause them pain. His Therapist had to keep telling him that one is never able to please everyone and that amount of good vs bad that he did wasn't in question, but how he would handle the ongoing dilemma of those trying to undo all the hard work he had gone through to reach...'peace'

Volleyball herself had been trying to find her place in this existence beyond what she was made of, but...she enjoyed what she was doing and had learned so much from Steven alone. So now it was time to put that education to good use.

Vivi had been standing by the window to outside, watching the stars as they drifted past, arms crossed and perplexed as revelations were made to light. Volley wasn't sure how she would react to the fact that Celosia had helped develop her and when she did, Vivi went very quiet and contemplative, as did everyone, leaving Volley to disrupt the silence.

"So...what do we do now?" Volley questioned.

They couldn't leave Connie corrupted forever; the idea put forth by Celosia herself. Volleyball had some doubts over her methods but Steven had made his choice, so the Pearl had to act on his wishes.

"I did have a second part as to how this can be resolved." She revealed.

"I never said anything because I worried this part wouldn't go according to plan."

She had everything mapped out, but to what degree wasn't explained.

"What, turning Connie into some....massive Hagraven like witch monster thing went exactly to the fucking plan?" Vivi questioned.

Spinel stood there awkwardly, her expression warped by Vivi's cursing.

"It's not exactly ideal, but it was either corruption, or let Connie die." She continued.

Vivi rolled her eyes. Such a complicated matter had made her furious. But really, all she could do in this case, was observe.

"And she becomes like me...that's considered the worst option? How come you didn't decide this when making me huh? Fucking hell. I go out to Earth, go on a hunch you're still alive and find out that corruption is the preferable decision, like I'm some big fucking mistake!"

With moral dilemmas like this, Volley was selfishly glad she didn't choose the outcome, albeit Steven going with what thought was right.

"Tell me, is that true?"

This had to be a human thing, surely, as Volley and Spinel made glances, being out of their own comfort zones and listening to this uncomfortable conversation. Celosia didn't budge however; remaining in her position, calm and in control of her words.

"That is difficult to answer." Celosia replied, bluntly.

"No amount of apologies will make up for what I have done to you. All I know is, that the next step will require the Diamonds."

Vivi then looked around, then back to the Professor.

"Then why haven't you found them yet? No...don't answer. It'll be too...difficult. Now you don't even need me anymore! Fuck you, fuck everyone!"

The pause of silence returned as Vivi stormed out of the room. Spinel looked at Volley who nodded, to follow Vivi to where ever she went, being her allocated escort for the while, although Vivi in her current condition wouldn't want anyone near here, Spinel had been taught enough by Steven to learn how to read the room at least, to keep distance to ensure Vivi didn't go anywhere she wasn't supposed to. Spinel left shortly after, leaving Volley alone with the Professor, whom was a bit saddened, her hands still in front of her and her head low. Volley was willing to hear her out, but only because Steven would want her to.

"It might take us a while. We don't have a location for them just yet." Volley told her.

Theories of the Rebels being on Earth was still an idea in their heads but nothing they had yet to count on for the moment. They had only just started their space adventures and resources spent on dealing with the Rebellion first hand were surmount to dealing with Connie. 

"I think I have an idea of what can help us find them." Celosia said.

"But it would require Vivi's cooperation."

Which, right now, wasn't going to be feasible for obvious reasons.

"I'm listening." Volley said, getting her datapad down to write notes. Also because Steven had spoken with Volley once before, with questions he'd been wanting to ask but hadn't had the time (or the desire) to engage with Celosia all that much, but if it came about that she happened to spill, Steven told Volley to question as much as he wanted to know.

Celosia smiled weakly, glad someone was willing to indulge her.

"Thank you. This is...where it gets a bit...odd. It's about Vivi's Gem powers....and...."

It was then Vivi took off her lab coat, showing off her bare arms....and the orange on her upper right arm, leaving Volleyball to gasp in shock.

"My _own_..."

Volleyball had no idea. Did Steven know? Did Vivi know? How...

" _Celosia_..." Volley muttered.

Vivi then put her jacket back on, uncomfortable with showing her true form for too long. This was definitely unexpected and not what Volleyball had anticipated.

"I was the first of Dr. Schwarz's experiments." Celosia continued with a degree of unease, covering herself as if she was cold all of a sudden.

"I know what Vivi is going through. I've had to make some hard decisions in my life also."

So it was apparent. Celosia had been hiding this for what ever reason. Working with the Dean because she was part of her work too. Volleyball couldn't imagine it, but otherwise understood Celosia a bit better now...or worse, it was hard to say.

"With the mistakes I have made my solution works in a series of steps. Steps akin to the ones taken when Steven himself was corrupted."

Oh? All Volleyball could recall was the Diamonds and Connie helping save Steven but not much else after Connie had been part of some bizarre Psychic Diamond Ritual that had never been seen before. Her instinct with Connie's links to Steven being the key to save his life. Would she call it instinct? It was hard to determine. Pearls like herself could understand some of the more complex abilities their Diamonds had, especially their auras and connections to each Diamonds auras. It was common knowledge among the Pearls but ultimately never talked about. Steven being partially human and Connie being human...it made sense but Volley could never explain why it could.

"Yes...I kind of get it." Volley told her. She went back to the list.

"But Connie was born fully human...and Steven was born as he was. What makes you think that the same method would work on Connie?" 

Celosia took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure..." She said with a huge exhale.

"But studying notes from Dr. Schwarz had me understand a few things. She had been collecting Connie's data for some time and data on corrupted Gems in general. Jasper is a good example...she was corrupted...and has visual evidence of corruption."

An Event Jasper never wants to talk about but Volley could grasp what Celosia was saying.

"Connie is human...and the data collected said Connie had been affected by Steven's Corruptive Miasma; a poisonous fog that could corrode anything organic. As such, while Steven was desperate to connect to someone, the Miasma took hold of Connie first and foremost. The longer she was exposed to it, the more it started to corrupt her form. Unlike Gems, corruption in humans takes a slower course."

As it did with Steven, noted by the weird growths and patches on his skin.

"Towards the end, Connie....was said to have been...maybe around half way to total corruption? The data never concluded the rate until it would have swallowed her mind eventually, but it was enough to say, leave an imprint on her DNA so even if she was cured by the Diamonds and a fully healed Steven, the effects of the corruption had already left their mark on her, just not visually."

And it never did....but it didn't explain the Gem on her arm.

"Was BYW-3 the reason the Gem in her arm was formed?" Volley questioned, continuing to jot this all down for Steven to read over later.

"No." Celosia said.

"It helped with the growth, but it wasn't the cause. The truth is a bit stranger."

Volley considered humans to be strange in general, but otherwise never verbalised her opinion as such.

"Vivi and I are Gems of an unknown type and I have cross referenced every kind of Gem in your databases and nothing comes close to what we actually are. Suffice to say, Connie's Gem is most likely the same. What I do know is that the method for the production required a specific injection of another two chemicals. One I did find known as SZ-S, a Stabiliser for short, and several others were mostly for specific quantities but the distribution was used for different Gems. For myself, I was given trace amounts of Titanium, Vivi was given neodymium and records indicate Connie was given Vanadium, although that last one found to be quite common in specific Earth fungi that can be eaten by humans."

Volley had to pretend to understand all that. She only knew of ingredients like BYW-3 that were the cause of Steven's corruption, but regular elements like this was...a bit strange. So maybe Connie was being fed it all the same way.

"I consulted Peridot about this...and she said it still didn't add up to everything else as part of the Gems composition, as far she knew. She made a few guesses but the construction methods used didn't match up to common gem production methods."

And so the technician who helped produce Gems for a living didn't know either. Only one person so far could possibly answer.

"Would Dr. Schwarz know?" Volley wondered.

Celosia crossed her arms, looking away in sadness.

"I've thought about that. But asking her directly is next to impossible." She said.

"She's a bit...unhinged. So I mostly dedicated my time on Astraea discovering my powers. With enough effort and practice, I found out there's a fundamental link that binds us three. Not unlike the Diamond Aura itself."

This was new. She had been doing her research.

"So I figured, if we're this same Gem type, surely the methods for production were the same; phase one required swallowing increments of SZ-S and our respective elements for what reasons were required. BYW-3 however, was used for both Connie and for Vivi so I think it was also used for me."

And they had been subject to this without their knowledge? Disturbing _. Very_ disturbing. This was genuine cruelty, more so than original gem creation methods. The Diamonds would find this absolutely deplorable. She went back to the list again and another one she herself had been wanting to get the truth to.

"What about the tattoo on her arm?" Volley said.

Celosia nodded, with Volleyball getting the vibe Celosia had been anticipating this to be brought up.

" _The Tattoos..._ " She muttered.

"Dr Schwarz was _obsessed_ with them. There's something about our Gem types that I'm not entirely sure is a type of power but...something written within ourselves....or some kind of Sapphire like precognition, urges us to get these signals. I had the same upon my creation...or at least, vivid dreams and flickering messages about a specific symbol before I emerged as I am now. I came across an idea that these visions were imposed to be where our future Gems were going to be. And I'd seen the same signals for both Vivi and Connie prior. We keep seeing these constantly, but...you know, the more that I think about it, I've seen about four of these altogether....can I borrow your datapad?"

Volleyball looked down, suspecting what Celosia was going to do. She saved her file and minimised her program, before handing it to Celosia. She opened up an art program and began to draw something. It took her only a few minutes, before she raised the datapad to show the image:

Volleyball recognised the right most symbol as the one Connie had on her left arm. The inner left one she knows was the back of Navy's back. As for the other two...

"I found out these are our identifiers." Celosia said.

"The left most symbol belongs to me. It was tattooed on my right arm by Dr. Schwarz on where I said I wanted it. And the one on the inner left? I had that drawn on her by a tattoo artist, directly on her stomach where she said she wanted it."

This left more questioning for Vivi.

"What about the inner right?" Said Volley.

"That was found on the back of a Ruby Gem."

Celosia hummed, looking at the picture herself as she contemplated it.

"That symbol was one of the first I saw." Celosia said before handing the pad back to Volley.

"It belongs to the first of us, but I've never encountered them. They've never contacted me, but I do suspect that they could have been influencing Connie from a distance, as they must have with both myself and Vivi. But I do think they're in with Dr. Schwarz in a peculiar way. As part of the Organisation as a whole but I'm never been able to find them. They cover their tracks quite well."

Nothing from the Underground Labs taught her anything? But this was a lot of helpful information at a glance, saving the data for herself before bringing back her notes. But the one thing Volley still wanted to know was how Celosia proposed to find the Diamonds.

"You said before that your Gem type has a similar ability to the Diamonds Auras. Tell me more about that." She asked.

Celosia nodded.

"Oh yes, sorry got a bit off track." She said.

"I may need to work a little bit with Steven on this one, but we can hear each other across great distances. Sense each other...although its underdeveloped as far as powers go, testing it Connie allowed me to do great things....well, not great but I was able to guide her."

Guide her? The text messages? Volleyball wasn't so sure if that counted as helping by any stretch of the word.

"I first sensed it with Vivi, but didn't test it as much on her. But her being within Connie's range amplified the connections...and the only way I could get through to Connie was indirectly through her phone. Our powers have an incredible influence over electronics."

Only so few had that ability. Most Gems could manipulate technology in a certain way so how was this any different? Although it sounded like it was surprising for a human to do, rather than a Gem. Humans could use technology but...

"I'm sorry can you elaborate?" Volley asked.

Celosia smiled.

"Certainly." She said.

"Taking control of anything with a circuitry system allows us to empower, short circuit, push images and texts like we're interacting with it in way that it wasn't designed for. I was originally a Software Engineer so a lot of the inner workings came easy to me and even as such, knowledge of Hardware on the side helps to. So getting to message Connie wasn't a huge challenge. With enough practice, I'm sure Vivi and Connie could do it too."

Her enthusiasm for this felt more...morbid? Was morbid the right word? No...Volley just stuck with disturbing for now. Celosia sounded like she loved her work and the consequences were secondary. It mattered little until Steven determined what had to be done. So tracking down the Diamonds using their Aura had been tried before, multiple times but had no avail. Something was blocking Steven from seeking them out. Which he ended up believing that they could have been poofed...again. Somehow. Volley didn't really think about the implications.

"I see." Volley said.

"But if Steven can't find the Diamonds, then what makes you think you can?"

Celosia rubbed her hands.

"While I was in the Lab, I came across a troubling document." She said.

"Well, it was more of a copy of an invite....Dr. Schwarz was trying to invite the Diamonds to Earth."

Why would a human do that? They would only come if Steven and only if Steven told them to. From memory, Volley never saw the Diamonds receive such a thing nor did they visit Earth.

"At the same time, I felt a sense of energy, in the air. I asked Peridot if she could sense it, and she said no. Now, I have worked in that same lab and never had felt the energy there before..."

Volley squinted in disbelief.

"You think, Dr. Schwarz locked the Diamonds...on Earth?"

It didn't explain the monster she saw on Homeworld that day they disappeared, however. None of this made sense.

"The only lead we really have." Celosia told her.

"I'm sure that St-"

Volley shook her head. She knew what the woman was going to ask.

"I can tell Steven this but I don't think he'll be happy with it." She explained.

"He'll probably send another squad to investigate but he's not in the mood to visit Earth any tim-"

Sirens went off interrupting their discussion, as the room flashed red. An emergency, something that required her attention right away. Volley pressed the button on her headset as she contacted Jasper on the Bridge.

"Jasper, what's happening out there." She asked the Quartz.

" _We've got another fleet out here...a bunch of rebel ships that have just come out of warp space._ " Jasper announced.

" _We're ready to engage, I've got the Frigates in line. Get your butt here to the Bridge now._ "

Volley understood, looking at Celosia with a very troubled expression. She could sort of see why Steven was hesitant, but otherwise wasn't sure why she was a bit way of her. 

"Look, if you want to tell Steven your idea, as long as you have a valid reason for it, he might approve it." She said.

"We'll talk about it later, I suggest you wait for now until this fight is over..."


	26. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fleet engages with its first battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning out this scene and after seeing the concept art of Perfect Steven implemented, it gave me a great idea for the fic itself.

The alarms sounding only meant one thing; 

They were under attack.

Volley had run back to the Bridge to meet up with Jasper; ensuring things were under control. Meanwhile, Steven had been isolated with Connie the entire time. Sitting in front of her, legs crossed and expression void of any strong emotion. Concerned, worried and the whole flurry was within his form, but he did not show any of it. The barriers were up, obscuring the view commands were made, multiple Gems preparing to man their stations as Steven brought up a Diamond Shaped and pink hued screen from within the dock, his Diamond Line active for Volley and Jasper.

"What's the set rep?" He asked the pair.

"Its the Rebels." Jasper answered, as another screen popped up on the left of the camera, demonstrating a dozen or so green triangular ships on a map.

"Seems like they were waiting for our fleet. We need to engage."

Not yet.

"Patch me in with their Fleet Leader." Steven asked.

Volley and the crew took control of that, with a third, bigger screen popping up above the the other two, much larger and showing off a familiar green gem, her fangs bearing the devilish smile of conniving evils.

"Emerald."

He should have known that a Gem like her was leading it. Steven wasn't surprised that she would have found them eventually; only slightly surprised that she was able to find them more quickly.

"I've been in this long enough to track down huge energy signatures." She said.

"You may be a Diamond Child, but I have thousands of years of experience in the stars and space combat! I can make all your efforts to quash us all for naught in less than five minutes!"

Taunts that meant nothing to him, his focus second to none on everything he cared about. A mode found in everything that he had seen himself so far; neutral in form with all the fiery passion, the anger under a new form of control. 

"I'd like to see you try." He said, before cutting the feed, the screen disappearing as he went back to Jasper.

"Jasper, lead the way."

The Quartz saluted and grinned...she was looking forward to this.

"Yes my Diamond!" She said, as the other screens disappeared.

He could hear the pitter patter of running feet as Gems ran to their stations all around him, with the thick, magical barriers obscuring all other sight around him; he didn't want Connie to think that they were after her. The noises had her looking around, the muffled sounds of the alarms bleeping all around them, while Steven remained deadly still, his eyes on her constantly, watching her every move. The commotion continued, but Steven had to make sure she was comfortable first and foremost; he would also be worried about the Gems in his command, but could also trust them to know what they're doing. The Bridge was where he should have been, but that would mean leaving Connie all alone, perhaps, frightened and unsure of where she was.

Seeing her transformation changed something with him too; it was like he saw what had happened to him all that long ago. A painful, excruciating experience that he never wanted to feel, but seeing her...it was like he felt it all again; the burning sensation, the way the body tore itself apart to emerge with the new and the terrifying because you didn't know you were going to die right there and then. There was little he could to comfort as the event occurred, but continue to stand by her until it's bitter end. 

"You're okay Connie, that's just the Gems going out to protect us." He said.

"I'm not going anywhere."

The most inhuman and alien and bizarre of creatures in visual and in noise but Steven never faltered in the sight of the human beneath all of that. Those black eyes with the green spinning square pupils...spinning inwards and outwards as she was constantly in thought mode. Steven recalled the painful feeling of detached comprehensions and constantly failing logics; ideas forming in his head that kept breaking because the pieces were just as corrupted as the body. Lines hitting dead ends and finding no relief in the outcome of a thought.

Connie's form could barely stay upright; preferring to be on all fours despite mostly having a humanoid form. He could hear her clicks, her whines and other obscure cries. She leaned on her knuckles and found herself in a state of unrest, shifting and trying to move in such a tight space. Steven could give her all the room in the ship if he could, but it wouldn't do them any good if she destroyed the ship and she didn't know she was doing it. He loved her, it's just the unfortunate mindset of a feral animal that had Steven treat her such and he hated it.

He sat there analysing the data his Bridge Crew were sending him; seeing that the Destiny Destroyer was either upgraded or Emerald had another version made that was much, much larger, surrounded by its own score of ships. They must have had plenty of time and resources getting this done. Emerald was definitely in her element and deep down Steven knew he was going to outskilled somewhere along the line. He just needed practice and was determined to not fail. The name came up on the ship; a new name;

The Diamond Destroyer. Fitting.

The fight must have gone on for some time. Five minutes passed and there wasn't anything to indicate the situation had changed; until something rocked the ship that caused the lights to flicker briefly. Steven definitely had to check that. He pressed on his comms on his headset to check to see what was going on.

"Volley, Jasper, what was that?" He asked.

"It was one of Emeralds stealth frigates; damn things don't come up on the radar until they're really close." Said Jasper.

"Our shields have been weakened from a series of focused shots." Said Volley.

"I think the other smaller ships are trying to disable it."

And it would take one huge shot from presumably, the Diamond Destroyer to destroy the Leviathan outright. It did have the strongest shields in the fleet since the ship was also the largest, but how Emerald was managing to whittle down so quickly told him that she was trying so hard to make do with her threat. He sighed.

"How are the other ships going?" He asked.

"They're taking heavy damage and there seems to a large formation that's generating a larger shield that our weapons are doing nothing to...but they'll form a barrier if the Leviathan is in a tough spot defence wise. I could suggest sphere like positions, use their defensive skills for out own the same way." Yellow Pearl suggested.

No. He was not going to risk a single frigate going down for their sake, not for his first scuffle in space...couldn't let his own Gems down who had been working so hard for months to get this right...and he acknowledged to himself that he was vastly inexperienced. He looked up at Connie however. Confusion lingered in her expression, but oddly enough, she wasn't afraid or worried, being mostly still for the better part. Steven sighed; he didn't want to leave her, but...

**_BOOOOM._ **

"Shit, the Shields!" Jasper called.

"Steven, I'm getting those Frigates into position!"

No not yet.

"The Diamond Destroyer; Our sensors are picking up that It's firing up its main blasters; it might tear through the very hull of the ship if we don't do something!" Volley cried.

His eyes were on Connie's again as he made a fist. Butterfly on his shoulder, telling him off for breaking his word. This was important, however...he's made some unfavourable decisions in the past and this was one of them. If this wasn't going as planned, then Steven had to improvise.

"Okay, Connie. I know I said I wasn't going to leave but....they need me out there. I just need you to stay put here until I get back okay?" He told her.

She tilted her head and made a tiny clicking shrill, unsure of what Steven was asking of her. He would have to make do, as he clicked on his comms to talk back to the others.

"No, I'm going outside." He said.

"Tell the Frigates to get behind the Leviathan. Open the Docking Bays top plates one through four."

Leaving the safety of the cage, Steven smiled at Connie one more time, turning off the barriers as he left, then turned them on again. Volley told him the estimate of charge time of the main blasters, giving him at less than a few moments to get changed. He had a special collar around his neck that summoned a clear helmet. The suits design had tiny oxygen tank on the back, enough for Steven to venture out safely for long periods of time. The suit he had doubled as space suit, something he had planned ages ago; at the press of a button on his wrist that also put on a pair of protective gloves and a small shield underneath his clothes and the aforementioned helmet.

From where he was he jumped up to the roof, his jacket flying behind him as he opened the the roof's protective plates to allow him to get to the exterior one by one, and as each one opened, the one before him would shut straight after until he had flown out of to the exterior, and landed on top of the Dreadnaught. From where he was, the vastness of space and scores of debris from destroyed ships and surviving ones picking up Gems and retreated back to their respective frigates. Running towards the front, he could clearly see the Destiny Destroyer 2.0; a giant monstrosity of a Diamond-esque ship with the classic rebellion Logo slapped on its starboard side; the Diamond insignia with the giant red cross; with more lasers and it's forward most tip accumulating power into yellow sphere, growing larger and larger. Steven could sense the increasing levels of energy forward and it was only mere moments before it would be let loose on his beloved Leviathan.

His idea was risky as he didn't know how much he needed to give in exchange to protect everyone. Heart beating as fast it could, the anticipation its main driver. He is ready; ready to show Emerald what a Diamond can do. The Diamond Destroyer even started to quake under how much was going into this one shot and no amount of blasts were even putting a dent into their super strong shields. Did he underestimate them? Perhaps. But if they could get through this, then the entire fleet would consider this a test run and the next fight would be the real deal.

A series of smaller rebellion lead DD ships, their design much smaller than the frigates; tiny fighter jets that tried to fire on Steven, who simply summoned his shield above him to block the shots. Going into his Pink State he jumped up as the ships tried to make their second round and ended up on to one of them.

"No you don't!"

He summoned a bubble around his fists as he clapped them together and smashed the glass into smithereens, all the while keeping silent as he tore the Gem out of the jet; not wanting to deal with him, he threw them far behind him as they went left spinning out of control, as Steven simply stopped the jet with his power to stabilise himself, picking up the jet by the ship and ended up using it as a bat to smash the two other jets heading his direction; he wasn't satisfied in doing so, but he needed these weapons out of his way and preventing them from making more damage.

These moments were tiny, but precious slices of time wasted as the Diamond Destroyer had finally finished charging. Steven threw a fist as he made the leap towards the front of the Leviathan. One leg in front of him that was bent slight as he leaned in and raised his hands forward; summoning his hexagonal shield; spreading it far and wide with all that he had to give, to provide as he strained to force his power to stretched as much as it could. It evolved into a massive screen of interlocked hexagons that as the Diamond Destroyer finally unleashed its searing beam of destructive energies; so powerful that Steven's body began to shift to accommodate for the effort he had to put into his shields, growing taller and leaner without warning, gusting the flaps of his uniform as gusting forces pushed past. Sweating, straining, pushing....Grunts of pain escaped him, the force so immense and powerful it would threaten to destroy anything that wasn't a power of a Diamond, but even so, Steven's human half had the potential to suffer from the fallout if he wasn't careful. His eyes grew white diamond shaped pupils, his hair grew larger. It felt familiar. But he wasn't angry; his heart was charged and filled with some indescribable. So much light and an influx of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, that it was almost blinding.

Seeing Connie like she was did not infuriate him, but it reminded him too much of his failings and the amount of times he had showed mercy when really, he had to put the pressure on higher altitudes. He wasn't comfortable with the way things had panned out, but he understood reason and his mind took this...being a Diamond more seriously than he had planned himself to. That showing Emerald who he really was and who he could become without compromise, then this was it. This was Diamond Admiral Steven Universe giving all he had. His skin took a lemonade shade of pink but his hair became poofier and wilder as it was squished by his helmet, not to mentioning becoming a much amaranth as opposed to the usual hot pink his State normally gave him.

"Now! The shields are down on that ship, while they're down, fire everything!" He heard Jasper call out on the intercom.

The series of Hand ships poured out from around him and began to surround the Diamond Destroyer, firing multiple blasts towards it, causing it tilt to the side, the beam itself going off course as the ship lost its own pull.

"Not bad Diamond Admiral, I see you've improved!" Emerald called out, as a pink Diamond shaped screen popped out in front of Steven.

It wasn't long until the Rebellion Ships started turning around, and despite their vast efforts, the Diamond Destroyer itself managed to give them the slip, but it was given enough damage as it made the hyperspace jump to escape. Steven heard Jasper curse over the intercom, but for now, they had won. Steven relaxed, though he collapsed onto his hands and knees and began to pant extensively, using what he had to spare to contact Jasper.

"It's...it's okay Jasper..." He said, struggling to breath, swallowing his own saliva.

"Let them go. We need to tend to our own for now..."

What ever that was, definitely sapped most of his own energy; with that much to expel from a machine alone, was exhausting. His body shifted back to its original form and muscles began to ache, ears tinny and fuzzy briefly before turning back to normal. Standing up straight was a battle on its own, his hands on his thighs as he leaned over.

"Are you okay Steven?" Volleyball asked.

Funny question that, knees becoming wobbly as she said that.

"I...I think it's time for me to res-"

...

"Steven?"

* * *

Passing out the ships hull wasn't a good look; with Volleyball going up there herself and retrieving him with the help of some Topaz. Taking him to his Quarters, Volleyball made sure he was comfortable, laying him on his bed and taking off all of his gear, leaving his jacket and hanging on the nearby wall. The Pearl was adamant in ensuring that he have his eight hours of rest, messaging Jasper that everything was under control. Still, he made quite the demonstration, exerting his Diamond Powers to their bring because what ever the stars just fired upon them were some of the highest energy readings she had ever seen, causing great concern on many fronts. The one thought at the front of all the others was that would Steven be able to do that again when the time comes with his own energy readings of the charts themselves. It wasn't to be unexpected but when ever a Diamond showed off their true power was always a sight to behold.

The Quarters themselves were sparce; pink in hues with a simple bed and a window on the roof to allow him to see the stars above. A simple black dressing table to his left and right hand sides with a pink lamp and on the the far side of the room before the door was his desk and his bathroom. Sitting on the edge of his bed, she felt his forehead, learning that from how he did that to Connie, knowing that if it was too hot then it was cause for worry. It wasn't too warm, giving Volley sense of relief washing over her. What ever he did with the shields he created took everything out of him and then some. Checking his normal sleep cycle was generally overdue by just two hours but still. She was hesitant to leave him, but received another call from one of the guards on the top docking station; mentioning that, the corrupted Gem was causing a ruckus. Sighing, Volley made her way there.

The barriers were turned translucent, with Volley seeing that Connie was flailing about, hitting the barrier repeatedly as Gems that were guarding her weren't entirely sure what to do. She wasn't doing this before and what ever she was doing now must have been caused by a trigger of sorts.

"What's going on?" She asked a Crystal Quartz.

The white gem crossed her arms, looking worried.

"I don't know, she only just started with the usual screeches and attempting to climb out of her cage, then started getting louder and bashing her way out. Who knows what's caused it." She answered.

Most likely missing Steven. With Steven out of commission for the moment, Volley had to take what courage she could provide in order to calm Connie down.

"Let down the shields, I'll talk to her." She commanded.

The Crystal Quartz was hesitant, but Volleyball has dealt with worse. The One barrier weakened slightly, allowing Volley to casually walk inside. It would be a lie to say that she wasn't scared, but Connie had to recognise her. Foolish to believe it would be as simple as that, but she tried to anyway. The barriers were reinforced shortly after, leaving the Pearl in the room with the Corrupted being. She raised her hand up and smiled and kept thinking to herself that the last thing she wanted to be was afraid.

"Connie?"

She was banging on the other side, until she heard Volley call her name, turning towards Volley with an expression Volley couldn't understand. She made minor manoeuvres, tilting her head and checking her out, whilst making curious clicking growling noises. It wasn't a show of intimidation or force, but akin to curiosities like Steven used to describe cats. But she had calmed down considerably, her movements less erratic and violent.

"It's me, Volleyball. Do you remember me?"

Volley found it hard on many occasions to raise her voice. By default she was always sweet, soft and tender, a design for most Pearls. Courage amounted to working on ones fears that had been so far embedded for millennia, to be made to fear those of a higher power, so to break the mould on that count took a lot of effort to counteract. Steven would be the one to teach her, to guide her and to encourage. Not just Steven, but the fearless Jasper overall. It was easy to fall in line just as it was hard to push through the disadvantage of what Volley was made to do. Steven was lucky because he was just so naturally powerful; where Volley was just the complete opposite. Though, the power of words alone rested with careful conversation and not just reinforcing it with the power behind it. 

"Steven is resting right now. You will see him again, I promise." She said.

"But I can be here with you if you need someone by your side, in case you feel lonely."

The only other issue with what Volley was is that she didn't have Stevens power to tap into minds; so she couldn't even know what Connie was really thinking. Steven would describe however, that thinking was often impossible and that he often went by feelings instead of logic. Connie's attention snapped up to something behind her, however.

"Mind if I join?"

Behind Volley was Vivi, standing there with her hands in her pockets, looking up at Connie. A stoic look if Volley could see it. Volley debated it in her head, then nodded towards the Crystal Quartz to let the purple Gem through.

Standing next to Volley, Vivi must have been trying to think of something she could do while she was hear. Yelling at Professor Naranca earlier, and running off...Volley wasn't sure what was going on in her head either, though it had Connie trying to figure her out too.

"Heya Convo." Vivi said, waiving to her room mate as she tried to smile.

"It's Viv. I'm back to me...sort of."

Forming relationships wasn't exactly Volley's speciality. The one friendship she formed with Pink was something special, though she was made to love and serve her Diamond faithfully. Forming a friendship with Steven was something he wanted and that to serve him was still a natural fit. Becoming friends because people want to be was still astounding to Volley, and that she was trying to learn as much as she could as an individual. Being Steven's sister, a human notion of a relative or a connection through their birthright was an amusing thought. Sisters, Brothers, Mothers, Fathers. Still new to her.

"She used to tell me what Corrupted Gems were...didn't think she would become one of them."

And Volleyball had missed on most of them until she saw Steven's. To think, years missing out on how much damage Diamonds could really inflict for a long term.

"It wasn't an easy decision for Steven to make." Volley told her, but then wondered how Vivi was really feeling, having regained her old form.

"What about you?"

Vivi sighed. Volley wasn't keen on her at first, since she didn't look like she was taking her life as a Gem seriously enough, but hearing what went on to create people like Vivi and Naranca, even Connie, sounded terrifying.

"It was...horrible. Hearing...hearing Connie scream. She was in a lot of pain. It reminded me too much....it reminded me too much of..."

Just by her tone had Volley understand that it had to have been painful for her. General Gem creation wasn't the same way, but the agony coming from another being dying for the sake of a Gems creation was nothing ever heard of in the history of Gem kind. 

"It's okay, you don't have to go on." Volley assured her.

Vivi nodded, on the verge of tears as she raised a fist to herself.

"Thank you." She said.

"I think...I don't know if I could accurately say that I am the real Vivi or the original Vivi. If what Celosia said was right...then I was never Vivi to begin with. And it think that hurt harder than I thought it would...and I could have had the same fate as Connie. Corrupted. It's a no win situation."

It was too complex a situation that anyone other than maybe Celosia could ever understand, whom spoke about using Vivi to help track down the Diamonds locations. Connie made another low clicking growl, moving her big head closer to the pair.

"She's still Connie though. A part of her is within this thing. I still wonder what the Professor was hoping to achieve with this form anyway. Don't we need the other Diamonds to cure her?"

It wasn't that simple. Regular Gems could be cured via the Diamonds alone. But since Connie was original human, there was lot more to deal with when she never had powers to begin...and not even knowing their Gem type predominantly made it all the harder to figure out. The horrible possibility of her not being a Gem at all was brought up by Jasper in general conversation, but all the signs were there.

"I would assume so." Said Volleyball.

"Steven's just trying to figure that part out. Each of the Diamonds are still missing....and I keep thinking about that monster I saw that day when Homeworld was attacked and the Rebellion has been growing stronger ever since."

Vivi crossed her arms and nodded.

"Where is he anyway? Busy with his crew?"

She didn't know.

"Steven went out to defend the fleet from a huge energy blast, creating a gigantic shield to deflect it. It was so powerful, that he passed out afterwards from the strain. If he wasn't asleep, he would be here instead."

Vivi raised an eyebrow.

"Guys got a huge heart but good grief." She commented.

"There's a raw passion that I really admire but he's pushing himself too hard."

The Pearl sighed...she knew all about that.

"It wouldn't be the first time." Volley told her.

"You look at Connie hear and just...think that Steven had come out a similar way."

Vivi pursed her lips.

"I see." She said, feeling awkward.

"I assume you learned a great deal with him in order to uhhh.."

Volley nodded.

"The data itself was useful...Steven wanted us to use what we knew about our experiences with dealing with him to...help Connie."

So he would know what it was like and Vivi could see it clearer than ever. His own fears and anxiety of dealing with this sort of thing did give a baseline of where to go. It was merely the road to getting there that was the issue. But it did explain a lot.

"Right now we're just making repairs and reports on the damage to fleet. Until Steven wakes up, Jasper and I are his proxies."

Commanding the show. Vivi understood.

"Well I suppose while I am here you can put me to good use." She said.

"You can...do what you have to. I'm happy to sit with Connie. Is there like a schedule?"

It was then Vivi jumped as Connie made a noise that was closer than she anticipated, as Connie's claws made their way around Vivi's body. Volleyball was stunned to do anything as Vivi flailed briefly, unsure of what she could do as she lost her footing. Connie brought her up to her face though she wasn't hurting Vivi or anything, but perhaps was trying to determine something, her square pupils spinning as she tried to think, then pried up her jacket, before she sniffed Vivi's Gem, causing Vivi to freeze.

"Woah, woah watch my essential organ!" Vivi called out.

Connie's head jerked back, before her sclera turned green and her pupils turned black.

"Woah what the fu-"

A wave of black covered the atmosphere, turning Vivi's scelra black also, and giving her black square shaped pupils as well. A void that they found themselves in, with the humming sounds of the Leviathan disappearing completely, leaving them in complete silence. Looking around, she could see her glowing Gem on its own, then Connie's on her left shoulder, then Volley's on the ground on her stomach. Dots were everywhere, spread like stars. Vivi swallowed, unsure of what the hell she was even looking at.

Connie made a few more clicks, but as she did so, pulsing green soundwaves escaped her, pinging her surroundings. Vivi's Gem blinked. Connie turned around, as Vivi was still trying figure out what she was trying to do. She made another soundwave, then in the distance, an orange light started flickering as it moved about, but grew larger than the rest. She turned again, and made another ping. This time, a pink light was flashing as well, it's own light growing in size as well. Vivi narrowed her eyes, focusing on both the pink and orange Gems.

"Wait a minute...is that...Steven?" Vivi questioned.

Connie's eyes returned to their black sclera and green pupils as the world returned to normal. Connie then rested Vivi back down, as Volley ran up to her.

"Vivi...are you alright?" Volley asked, before looking up at Connie whom was staring at some direction.

Vivi was left gobsmacked, unsure of what she actually just witnessed herself.

"I uh...I don't...."

It was then they could see Celosia come on to one of the catwalks, her hand on the bar. Vivi wasn't sure what to feel either, but there was a faint light coming from her right arm as well.

* * *

She had come to down into the barrier with the other two, with Volley could only listen on as Celosia revealed her Gem to Vivi; noting that she was in the same case as her and Connie and that she felt Connie using her power. 

"Why the fuck didn't you say that?" Vivi question.

Celosia cleared her throat.

"Because you ran off before I could." She said.

Vivi rolled her eyes, well she shouldn't made her run off.

"What ever...so what was that? Some kind of....x ray vision or something?"

Celosia nodded and and waggled her hand.

"Kind of." She said.

"Our power can detect other gems around us...Connie had somehow figured out how to call to specific Gems and find out their location. I was surprised that she could do that, since I was hoping you Vivi would be able to do it. But if Connie can, it means this might work even better."

Vivi's description of what Connie did was alarming, but Celosia did state it was a power unique to them and their Gem type. A type of vision that can see any Gem and their position and that they could call out via echolocation type cries that would allow a ping to answer them, directing to their Gem of choice.

"So you think this will help us find the Diamonds?" Volleyball wondered.

Again, Celosia had this field or aura of a minor but notable sort, of pride when she smiled sometimes. Volley wasn't sure if she should be worried or happy.

"Most definitely." She confirmed.

"I'm testing a theory that it works better with numbers to improve range. On my own, it would only ping anything within certain radius but say if we try for two or three, then it might improve that even further."

Testing. The Professor liked to do that, Volley noticed. Working on matters that perhaps, may or may not even work at all. She didn't like when anyone other than Steven or Jasper tried to take control. Not that they were, but going against Steven's permissions gave Volley more ire than she liked it. Especially when it came to the matter of Connie and Volleyball wasn't going to be careless. Looking up at Connie herself, she was thankful that she was able to find more restraint than most. But she had become increasingly uncomfortable in Celosia's presence, but would trust with what ever Steven would come to say and do. For now, all she could really have the power to do, was delay her for now.

"I might suggest holding that off until Steven sees it for himself." Volley said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind Perfect Steven is a balance of his Pink State that isn't shifted by anger, but with quite the opposite. If Jasper didn't train him the way she did, then maybe Bismuth or even Garnet in a way that if he travelled down in a different path, he would achieve this form consciously. Or maybe he'd achieve this form in his Pink State, kind of like a super saiyan level system of sorts.


	27. The Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Steven wakes up, the hunt for the Diamonds begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A certain...someone returns in this chap. =D

All the efforts placed into going on to the open road and finding himself in the simplicity of human life had been completely undone by this experience alone...the intentions of a lone wolf thrust into the Alpha position by the rest of his pack. The loss of Steven Universe and the rebirth of Steven Diamond; only more militarist than business like.

Steven never told anyone that every other night he would lay awake, staring at his pink roof in his Pink Palace, wondering whether or not he was doing the right thing. Giving into the strong urges of anger, known to frighten everyone around him that wasn't expecting him to lash out and generally impressive to the select few that knew he had the guts. When push comes to shove, Steven Diamond was also the most dangerous person in the Galaxy.

He never saw himself fit to rule, but as matters became dire, there was always this compelling need to take command, to take control and risk everything that he thought he knew him about himself in general, twisting the name belonging that to innocence, fun and compassion. Right now it was anything but. Cruelty wasn't his moniker, but strong, wise and persistent were those neutral comments those on either side could take as good or bad.

Steven saw himself now as a controversy, divisive, stubborn. Not a monster but close to the borderline. The things he hated to do, where the things he had to. Butterflies that lived forever and the Leviathan of Pain digging its horns into him every single day. Nightingales were no where to be seen, only that the ants were kept at bay. A leader had to disregard those which would serve to hinder. The Rebellion would make matters increasingly difficult for him...and so he would make matters increasingly difficult for them. Was he at the same extent he was as last time? Only time will tell.

Though waking up in his bed on the ship was the last thing he expected; his last memory of fighting off the fighters around him and the amount of power he had forced out himself...using too much to be able to keep upright and conscious. Getting out of bed and into the bathroom, Steven had to make sure he was still there; checking his eyes and skin in the mirror. Because everything had become floaty and inconsistent, the man on the other side was busy judging him for all his actions. By far, the most poignant being the one to corrupt Connie. Not because he wanted to, but because he needed to. The word needed become a very much hated statement; because he if was honest, who knew what Connie really needed. Part of him wanted to fall for the lie that all outcomes were false and that judgement will come to him when this was all over because he'd been going in the wrong direction all this time.

The need to be punish for others wouldn't think it would have been a crime, but Steven knew better. What he did was wrong....and paramount to what was expected of a Diamond. How was a name to be kept separate from the actions of a species? A type known to hold terrible power and influence over others. Pins stuck his skin, decorated in terms and symbols meant to flatter but otherwise to some would amount to insults. Flags and clothes and other accessories. Titles, labels...

Couldn't Steven Universe be the man to find the truth within himself without needing to be this? Maybe, but right now he _was_ Steven Diamond. He could say that the scars of his own corruption still held heavy in his mind, warping his views even when cured. No...it shouldn't have amounted to a biological level to affect to his mental state...buried in deep in the belief that the needed outweigh his wants. It had to be done...and forever the doubt would be there to call him out on his actions. He was a hunter and the hunted; the symbol of the Controversy on his own end and the greatest enemy the Rebellion had ever faced, even more than the other Diamonds. He ruined their lives...and so he was the monster...and the darkest one at that.

Right now the signs of his actions had yet again become visual. The dark circles, the tussled hair and the slightly red eyes. Steven wasn't in denial of all of this, trusting himself to get together before long. This had to work. So he combed his hair, took a drink of water, put on moisturiser and the eyedrops...but he felt like something was missing.

Leaving his room, he took a detour to the docking area, overlooking the third floor catwalk to see that Volleyball, Vivi and Four Square talking with Connie none the wiser. He was relieved that this was a display of civility and that Connie didn't appear to be in any distress, though as he looked through the barrier, Connie recognised his presence and made a few chirps and seemed please to see him that he couldn't help but smile. The others noticed that he was up and about, jumping off the catwalk as he entered into the cage...

"How are you feeling?" Volleyball asked, standing up straight.

Steven shrugged.

"A bit sore, but I'm alright." He answered.

Muscles did ache, but that was about it. He felt the faint tip of Connie's index claw on the top of his head; lightly tapping him to get his attention. He ended up gently pulling the claw down, whilst patting it. 

"How you going Connie?"

A murmur and a few clicks, her green square eyes doing their usual, spinning rounds. She was doing okay.

"Glad to hear it." He answered with a smile.

He looked at Vivi; whom had since returned to her original form and was about to open her mouth, until Four Square interrupted.

"Steven, may I have a word with you alone?" She asked.

Presumably something important, he hoped. He nodded, as he walked off, trusting Vivi with Connie for the moment.

* * *

Going down a hidden walkway, away from the others, Four Square decided that she wanted to reveal who she really was; and that such words surprised Steven to the point where if and when Four Square was going to tell him this. Perhaps, this was the monster she feared; afraid to open her mouth too much that Steven would give into his pink state and demolish her outright. No, that couldn't be it. In a surprising decision, he let her talk

She continued to talk about how their Gems special ability; an ability that Connie seemed to also have alongside Vivi and herself; the ability to find Gems to ping their locations. It left Steven flummoxed. There was hope yet, but it rolled over into what he would consider something more disturbing than something that would give him joy.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were a Gem from the start?" He asked.

Celosia looked down.

"Look, I know it's...it's something perhaps that I should have brought up a while ago but...I think we have a chance. The Dean is a dangerous woman that has links to the Rebellion. And the Rebellion having a strong force means something is up."

Steven barely knew Dr. Schwarz...he barely knew Four Square.

"That's not the point." He said.

"Gems sharing technology with humans is also dangerous."

Steven pinched the bridge on his nose; trying to reign in on his mood with patience.

"I mean...look, if you have a means to finding the Diamonds then you have my permission. Talk with Cubedot. She'll handle the rest."

* * *

In the few hours Steven spent checking up on progress with the other ships, especially with repairs, he kept checking back with Volleyball whom was helping Cubedot alongside Vivi, Celosia and Connie with tracking down the Diamonds. The hunt itself more dependant on factors never considered, never seen and never used. Back on the fourth level catwalk, overlooking the series of machines hooking up, Cubedot in place; Steven was left in a position overthinking, over contemplating. Drifting into the unseen, unknown. He's been in this place before. It be a while before they could get anywhere, so Steven decided to go somewhere isolated.

One of the viewing rooms on the port side, Steven stood looking at the stars, their light shining as always. A combination of frustration, anger and a cloud of orange doubt dwelt within...shades of both light and darkness on their own accord. Steven wasn't going to explode, not going to corrupt; there was little to no chance that he knew of. Internalising meant he could focus on each of those aspects to track and eliminate with him focusing on previous fractured pieces of himself.

In the reflection of the mirror he could see himself in the Admiral Uniform...a form that was meant to project strength and determination; traits he did have. Holding onto those points for the sake of leading the Gems in his entourage. They needed a leader. They needed him to command with both merit, the worth and the power that reinforced it. These Gems were doing nothing wrong so there was no need for him to be angry at those around him. They were doing fine.

And for the Gems in the Rebellion were they mislead? Mistaken? The Admiral was still a Leviathan to them. No one said that he was the cause of the increased numbers but deep down, Steven felt that some lost their faith in him and that the Rebellion used that against him to persuade more gems to change sides.

Looking away briefly before looking back into his reflection, he jumped at the sight of a secondary Steven. The Steven in the Business Suit, casually standing there with his hands in the pants of his pockets; a sight he hadn't seen in years. He certainly looked worse for wear; face worn by overworking; and the regular Steven merely put on a cover of pretend; just like last time; though the other was more dishevelled with darkened charm.

"I'm going nuts again aren't I?" He asked himself.

Like Connie had with her collective group of fragment mental representatives, Steven had his own. This was his Bargainer, his Gatekeeper to his truths.

"You tell me." Said Diamond Steven.

"But if you want the truth, I'm it."

So in a word, yes.

"I don't think I've spoken with my Therapist in a while." Said Admiral Steven.

"I don't even think I've taken my medication in a while."

Diamond Suit Steven shrugged.

"No. No you haven't."

Oops. Though he left that with Volley.

He was supposed to depend on other people, but found himself whisked up and overworking himself to the bone yet again. He was so sure he was doing it right this time. It was up to him to take care of himself. Sleeping when he was supposed to, taking his meds when he was supposed to. What changed? What relapsed? Pinpointing everything he could, he could only find Connie's transformation as the most painful thing he's witnessed as of late. While he tried to maintain some sense of sanity; thinking that his own corruption would have softened the blow, but staring at him in the face was evidence enough that it absolutely did not.

"It was Connie wasn't it?" Admiral Steven asked himself; literally.

His Therapist did teach him to try and find certain causes to his trauma and process them in a way that allowed him to accept the pain without denying them. The denial itself was a shield and only served to suppress everything until it was too late to stop an explosion.

"I suppose I should be going out there...retake my meds and speak with Sandra."

Or hug his friends...hug Volley...

"If that's what you think will help." Said Diamond Steven.

Maybe it would maybe it wouldn't. This hallucination knew exactly why it was here....and Steven had to admit it wasn't the...first time he's spoken to it. The first time that it popped up again was shortly after he'd arrived on Homeworld; the chaos itself it was too much to bare and it only disappeared once he'd increased his medical intake and was able to connect with Sandra on Earth in a tangible fashion. Not ideal but it was sufficient to keep Steven's mental state in line.

"But let me ask you something." He continued.

"You know what Celosia is trying to do, don't you?"

In a way. Her being a Gem and that she's gone through the exact same drama as Vivi but had been involved in continuing that path with Connie as well was the real cause of his ire. He'd tried to forgive her but he couldn't...her revealing all this just made it all the more confusing. She harmed Connie not in a physical way, but attacked her mentally. Was that her intentions? No. But it didn't mean what she was trying to do was the best cause of action to take, when all it ended up doing was hurting her in the end.

"Finding the Diamonds takes priority." Admiral Steven said.

"We find them, we cure Connie."

Diamond Steven leaned against the window frame, looking down at the floor as he crossed his arms, while Admiral Steven stood up straight with his hands behind his back.

"You know it's not as simple as that." He pointed out, pulling something out of his pocket; something green, long and fluffy. A feather. Admiral Steven blinked, trying to think of the messages Four Square had been sending about collecting feathers. Remembering back to when Connie was trying to help him out, he was brought back the visions of collecting petals and butterflies. Parts of himself needing to be put back together again. Was this...

"Celosia was collecting fragments of Connie's mind." Admiral Steven said, voice low on that shocking realisation.

Diamond Steven nodded.

"Why though?" Admiral Steven continued, certain in the uncertainty.

"I...I don't understand?"

His conversation was cut short as the doors behind them opened, with Volley coming into the room and Diamond Suit Steven disappearing instantaneously. Time to put on the veil again.

"Am I interrupting anything Steven?" She asked ever so sweetly.

To think, Volleyball had been through so much herself; hurting through all the pain that was put on her all those years ago and that her recovering looked effortless that Steven couldn't help but feel those green shades of jealousy enter his mind as to how well poised, how well fit and proper she was, so perfect for this role because she was made for it. It wasn't fair to put the anger on her, however. Steven knew that. Steven did not wish to put Volleyball through all that hurt. He wanted to know her better. He wanted her to feel better and be the best damn version of herself she could ever possibly be....and here she was. The only real stable entity in this room, maybe even the whole ship and fleet.

"Of course not Volley." He said with a smile.

"What's up?"

No. Because he did also feel at ease while she was there. Because she didn't have to hide anything. She shouldn't have to. He's done enough hiding himself and others whom have had stuff hidden from him...to where finding that stuff was half the battle.

"We have a hit on one of the planets for one of the Diamonds"

And the wave of relief hit him harder than he thought it would. _Finally_ , some good news.

"Great, let's head there."

* * *

Heading towards the Bridge, Cubedot explained that they had pinged a strong signal to a planet known as Eira. A snowy planet overall. Filled with ancient ruins of a previous civilisation. They did an entire planet scan, finding heat and energy signatures that were quite strong. Connie, Vivi and Celosia all ended up joining him so that they could pinpoint the Diamonds local even easier...also it was a chance for Connie to stretch her legs. She was doing so well so far, Steven taking comfort in that fact more than anything. He was hoping to go alone with Celosia; to try and pry into her reasons into plucking Connie's mind to bits but this wasn't the appropriate time to do so...also because Vivi had insisted on coming along and that Connie wanted to come too.

Steven prepared himself and held no illusion against potential forces down on the ground. He'd prefer not to fight, but he was now in the zone that the rebels were to find in their current mindset to reason straight away; Jasper told him he'll need to make some kind of compromise if he was able to succeed in doing this correctly. What he wanted to do wouldn't correlate to what he needed to do...and he'll have to live with those burdens as Steven Diamond. So, as he had to; he'd taken Connie's Sword; knowing that it was the perfect weapon for poofing Gems nice and swiftly. He'd told her outright he was going to borrow it and give it back and that she just didn't react as much as he hoped she would when he told her but something in her eyes told Steven she would be okay with it.

It stretched far and wide; a place of howling winds that cut to the bone. Nothing none of them could handle. They'd taken a HandShip to the surface; the only one that would allow Connie to get in and out of. The Diamonds location wasn't too far; they'd distanced themselves just in case that they were issues with getting there. More energy signatures were detected and Steven immediately suspected that there was a chance that the Rebels had a base out here.

"Fucking oath it's cold." Said Vivi as she rubbed her arms.

"I mean, if it wasn't a Gem I would have frozen me tits off right about now."

In a way, Steven had missed Vivi's....abrupt language. He looked up at Connie who walked behind them on all fours, busy scanning the light blue and white hued horizons before them. He then saw Celosia's eyes go black briefly, clicking her tongue.

"There's a few gems scattered about the Diamond in question." She said.

"Going from her blue aura, it's Blue Diamond."

They had strong suspicions but this made it easier to clarify.

"Alright so let's move." He said.

Getting closer they also did conclude there was a rebel outpost here. Quite small but Steven instantly knew that something else was in place. Surely there was more to this than meets the eye. In the middle of the outpost was a giant structure, presumably made of ice or some kind of alloy that looks like ice. It had a resemblance to the Moon Base but had a giant telescope like contraption embedded into it...and the classic Rebel logo was painted on the side. This must have been a Diamond Base at some point in the past, restructured for the purposes of war. Circular in formation, a huge cliff hugged it in there with a small stone path that circled around the centre as well as a tiny frozen river mote.

Celosia mentioned that Blue Diamond was inside, but was currently inactive as she was not moving about. There were Rubies, Quartzes and the like make shift outpost filled with squarish igloos and the odd flying rebel flag, nothing Steven himself couldn't handle. 

"Alright you all stay here." He said.

"Look after Connie...this shouldn-"

"Oh come on we can fight." Vivi complained.

Steven put his his finger to his and shhhhh'd the purple Gem.

"Keep your voices down!" He urged. Though as he looked at the struggling to keep herself down Connie and her massive size. He began to wonder.

"Viv, take out the western side." He said.

"I'll take the right...and Connie?"

Her attention went straight to Steven as she heard her name. Getting her to fight would be wrong, but looking at the Diamond base he wondered she had anything strength to pull the top off; just in case they couldn't get inside normally. He didn't want any harm to come to her, but he figured he would honour their partnership and leaving her behind was just as bad. She was willing to listen and had half a mind to understand him and others so Steven figured he could just make do with the the best they had....and he would consider Connie one of his best for sure, despite her condition.

"On my mark, I need you to rip off that roof base? Get me?"

She made a few rolling clicks as she tilted her head, much like a curious dog.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes."

* * *

Celosia remained behind to observe with Connie, while Steven and Vivi moved about on the outsides of the base. Jumping off the cliffs, one by one, Steven held no reservations in using Connie's sword to swipe down Gems where he could; sneaking up behind them and either stabbing them in the back to poof them before bubbling them away, meanwhile Vivi had a small dagger forged for her by one of Homeworld's Bismuths; a tiny purple blade perfect for it's purpose. They cleared out the buildings on each side, with both of them meeting in the middle as Vivi poofed the last Quartz and bubbled it away. He wasn't aware Vivi could even bubble, though it would have been something taught by other Gems in the mean time. It meant she was serious about this Gem stuff more than Steven could hope for.

"Alright I'm done." She said, before yawning.

"Sorry to bore you." Steven said with a smirk as he put Connie's Sword on his back.

Vivi rolled her eyes as she snorted, putting her dagger back on her thigh.

"Oh don't get me wrong. That was fun!" She responded.

Putting her hands in the pockets of her jacket, Vivi nudged her towards the middle base.

"So uhh...what's ya idea for dealin' with this?"

The pair walked around to the bridge leading to the inside but the doors wouldn't open with their prescence. Steven put on the bubble boxing gloves and while he could only but scratch it, his other idea in mind had him sigh and nod, putting his middle finger and his thumb into his mouth and whistling. No sooner than later, Connie had jumped into the air, spreading her six wings, flying about as she surrounded the exterior at first, before landing with a massive thump on the round dome. Digging her claws underneath the parts that popped out, Connie growled as she began the process to tear the dome off. She had immense strength; for that there was no doubt at all as the walls began to tear and the grinding of metal piercing to the ears. Steven felt pride in seeing her try so hard, so he went up to help her. He jumped on the on the edge and began to pull alongside her, his form temporarily changing like it did before. His body grew and his hair went a light shade of pink.

"Come on...almost...there." He said.

Vivi witnessed the whole thing and didn't realise how strong those two actually were...and had never seen Steven change like that at all. Something different akin to his usual Pink State but said nothing but a soft oh my god underneath her breath.

The cracks widened and within moments, Connie had thrown the dome off, unintentionally flinging Steven off as well, but not before she caught him in mid air. He turned back to normal as he laughed nervously.

"Thanks Connie. Appreciate it." He complimented.

If she could smile she would; instead he felt her radiating exuberance as if she was. She went over to pick up Vivi as well, as the three crawled into the buildings interior.

* * *

Inside was much larger than they anticipated, a spire that went in deep underground. More of a lab like facility than anything else. Vivi shivered and not just from the cold itself. Bad vibes all around.

It was surprisingly more spacious and while Connie struggled to move herself through, she didn't have to squeeze her way around, following Vivi and Steven to a large construct. Vivi used her power and confirmed that Blue Diamond was inside.

A huge machine of some sort...cubish in nature and silverish in colour scheme with the odd glowing blue and white lights here and there. Steven walked around to find a console and once found one, projected a monitor to find out more details.

Bringing up documents, it looked like this was supposed to be a big weapon and that Blue's Gem was supposed to be used as its powersource. How bizarre and very troubling as he gulped, so they had to figure out how to get Blue Diamond out of there safely. Hearing clicking noises, behind them, Vivi turned to see a tall blue gem striding towards them.

"Oh and here he is. Figures you would come here on this miserable planet. Why do I get all the worst assignments?" 

Steven turned.

"Holly." He said dryly.

So she must have been the Rebel Leader at this outpost. He felt Vivi's hand on his shoulder as she whispered into his ear.

"Her voice...she was the same one at the Brewery that night." She said.

A Gem once loyal to the Diamonds and after the Zoo was taken over by the Zoomans and the Amethyst's, Holly had taken a new job that was supposed to make sense of her own duties and make her feel worth something again instead of being made obsolete.

"And you're still ruining things around here." Holly commented, exasperated.

"Why don't you just leave? You have no place here."

Steven shook his head.

"You know I can't do that Holly." He said.

"I'm taking Blue Diamond with me. And we're going to stop this Rebellion. So why don't you just apologize and we can work together to save the galaxy...I can even put you into a spiffy role of ordering people around again."

Holly looked to her side, growling before she noticed Connie and shirked.

"Ugh...not while you've got that gross monster with you!" She said.

Connie slammed her hand in the ground, making it quack to intimidate the Agate...and intimidate it did...only for the brief moment.

"I mean...well you're too late for that." She said.

"I was ordered here as a distraction...and Blue Diamonds' purpose was to draw you to her...and I guess I've done my job correctly. Been a while."

What?

"What do you mean?" Steven asked.

Holly smirked.

"She would be the one to direct me here." She said.

"And you know, that Pink Sapphire on our side has been our prized asset."

A name that had Steven focus instantly.

" _Baseball._ " He murmured.

He kept forgetting about her and her predictions being able to cause so much damage. So she had predicted Steven would come here. This was a trap.

"Holly, what is she planning?" Steven demanded to know as he brought out his shield.

The Agate laughed.

"Oh Steven, Steven, Steven I do not have to tell you anything...other than saying my job here is done...and you will be underneath a pile of rubble in about..."

She pulled a small device and pressed a few buttons.

"Five minutes. Oh this is so exciting..."

Within moments, before they could even reach her, Holly had run off to an elevator and locked it before anyone could do anything. With flashing lights and loud sirens, Connie was holding her head, the noises driving her crazy. Steven approached her and grabbed a claw, looking at her and trying to assure her that everything was going to be okay.

"Hey Con it's alright." He told her.

But her screeches and whines indicated that she hated this as she slammed her other hand into the side of the nearby wall, making debris fall from it with the sudden force. He had to think. Looking at the large machine, they had to get Blue out of there but...they had so little time to lose themselves as the place was going to self-destruct itself to oblivion.

"Heya I don't wanna be a downer but uh...I think we need to get the fuck outta here." Vivi said, beginning to freak out herself.

Steven had to stay calm for the both of them. He reached up into his comms to try and contact the pilot of the handship.

"Nephrite, stand by near my location, I'll be out less than five." He ordered.

" _Roger that, my Diamond._ " She said in response.

With that in mind, the daunting task of freeing Blue came to mind. He was not going to leave this facility without her. Looking at Connie, he wondered if he could her help again. Grabbing her claw again, he urged her to focus as much as she could in these circumstances that her thrashing about and squealing from the overload of her senses.

"Connie, I need your help destroying this machine." He called out to her.

She was breathing really heavily and Steven could feel that, knowing exactly what she was going through. Right now he needed her, looking into her eyes with an intent to get her to see right into him, the stable trust that allow her to be able to hone in on what she could muster from her will power alone. She could do this. Her eyes went to the machine as she jumped at it, and started to scream and claw at the machine, destroying wires and metal that was sent flying everywhere; a sight that had Vivi jealous that she was getting all the fun.

"Leave some for me, I want to do some mindless destruction!" She whined.

Steven rolled his eyes.

"Go on, just stop when you get to the Gem okay?" He said.

Vivi grinned.

"Righto Admiral Stevo." She said with a salute. Jumping up, the bottom of her foot started to glow a deep bright blue and she used it to swing around and smash a bulky part to smithereens. Steven on the other hand went back to the console, trying to find a way to stop the count down, but all he could think about was stabbing the Gems on the outside. A task that had to be done...and why just now, he didn't just stab Holly while she was right in front of him. Why did he hesitate?

What was the difference between her and the other Gems? Did he hope she would see reason? Everything was more chaotic that it had been. His eyes went to both Connie and Vivi getting into the centre as they could see a dark blue glow. Looking at his watch, they only had a minute to spare.

Shaking his head, he discarded his feeble attempts, transforming once again; growing larger and taller with the pink hair as he absolutely demolished the machine in front of him as he smacked it with his has bare hands, making a clean cut towards the centre. He was surprised by how easy it was and why he didn't just try that earlier. Quickly discarding that thought, he made a beeline as he could see Blue's Gem as it floated there. Running towards it, he could see Connie and Vivi arriving as he picked it up. The girls looked at each, confused.

"Come on, let's get out of here!" He cried.

Connie nodded, taking him and Vivi by their collars and hood respectively as she flew off away from the machine, the place itself just about to explode as the rumbling got more intense and violent. Connie flew low until the reached the tower in the middle, stood on the ground as she used her hind legs to thrust herself upwards and outwards towards the light as time was finally up.

**BOOOM.**

Flames followed as she struggled to ascend with the weight she had. Steven quickly threw a bubble around her for protection and as they ascended as high as they could, they could see the hand ship nearby, with Celosia on top, as flames encompassed the entire outpost, the explosion swallowing it whole. Connie was flying pretty high by that point, observing the light show beneath them, listening into the explosions. Steven held onto Blue's Gem tightly, almost forgetting its size as Vivi threw a fist up into the air and cheered.

"Fuck yes! Take that you piece of shit! Woo!" She called, super excited.

By that point Steven was just relieved they survived at all.

* * *

Heading back to the Leviathan, Steven had taken Blue Diamonds Gem to the meeting room to see if she would reform. Luckily enough, Steven had made sure that the Leviathan had enough room for the Diamonds to walk around and so had several rooms constructed to accommodate each of them. From memory they were willing to shrink a little bit on command but it had been so long since he'd seen any of them that it was still surprising to see how big they normally were.

Volleyball stood by his side as they waited...and eventually her Gem started to glow. He summoned her chair, her big blue throne from the ground as she took her form; one that reminded Steven way too much of his Therapist, with widened navy skirt that reach her ankles, black heels, the light blue vest over a white buttoned long sleeve shirt that opened up to show off her Gem. Her hair loop around her chest was still the same but the back of her hair was all tied up into a tight high bun. She was bit disorientated, putting her hand to her hand as she felt a bit woozy, looking around, then seeing Steven as he stood before her.

"Oh...Steven...hello...." She said, trying to smile.

Steven beamed. This was a win by any means; getting at least one of the Diamonds back had been an achievement he'd been wanting to get for months.

"Hi Blue." He said with a wave.

Just to make sure she was comfortable, he had her sit down on her chair and he jumped up to sit in her lap as the two talked about the current situation, surprising Blue with all the work Steven had done this far. It was only right that she tell her side of the tale.

"My....well, I do appreciate you saving my life." She said, pressing her fingers against her chest.

"All I remember from the attack was I was in my Palace and the next thing I know is a pain in my back. Not sure what happened after that."

Someone must have attacked the other Diamonds the same way then. A scenario that sounded all too familiar.

"Any issues with Rebels after everything we went through with the last time?" Steven asked her.

Blue pouted, her eyes looking onwards as she peered into her memories.

"Nothing that stands out." She said.

"We had most of the culprits bubbled and imprisoned but if what you're saying is true, then there is definitely another force at play."

No doubt.

"Yeah the Rebels are working alongside other humans...being part of this Organisation that experiments on humans to grow Gems." He told her.

Blue gasped in horror.

"Oh my that's..." She said, putting her hands to her mouth in disbelief.

"We have never, ever used organics to grow Gems. That is...hmmm."

She was thinking something else...this was good.

"I don't think...Yellow? Maybe? I know she was fond of experimentation more than myself. What was the humans name again?"

Yellow...would she know more? She did work on the Cluster after all. Did she have something to do with this as well?

"Dr. Petunia Schwarz." He answered.

Blue Diamond began to think again, but she shook her head.

"Never heard of the name." She said.

"But if we can find Yellow and White, we might be able to get the answers we seek."

Steven was glad Blue was on board, eager to find the others and with their combined strengths, they stood more of a chance.

"But other than that, how are you Steven, organising all of this must have been a stressful task."

No doubt in Steven's mind about that.

"Yeah well I couldn't do nothing." He said.

Blue nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry we've dragged you back into this mess. We had instructed others not to interrupt you..."

This was an emergency; he had no choice but to insist on helping irregardless. He would not blame the Diamonds at all for this; namely the Rebels who could really hit where it would hurt the most.

"Don't worry about it." Steven told her.

"It's not your fault. We know the perpetrators. The ones we know that a part of the Rebellion. Especially the Pink Sapphire who was the main issue last time has become an issue yet again."

He felt Blue's hand go underneath him as she carried him closer to her face.

"A Sapphire as an enemy is not to be underestimated." Blue warned him, becoming serious.

"But there are ways to undermine their visions. Let us work together Steven and I will show you how."

* * *

A Diamond with them was surely going to make matters a bit less daunting now that Blue was with them. It wasn't going to make everything easier but he figured having one of the wisest, most powerful Gem on his side was going to make this gargantuan task all the more easier to manage by far. He'd gone on to explain the powers of Vivi and Celosia, unknown Gems that were really the reason that they were able to find Blue in the first place. So he had invited the pair to meet up with her. He would hope that Blue would be able to know what Gems they were as well.

Vivi was a bit off put by Blue's massive size but Celosia stood there, mute as Blue examined them closely. Oddly enough, even _she_ didn't know what Gem they were.

"You've got to be kidding me, you don't even know?" Steven said, shocked.

Blue looked down in shame.

"I'm sorry Steven." She said.

"But...their make is generally different from any Gem I recognise. Each Gem has a distinct look and feel and purpose. These being the forms of their human incubators make it a little harder. But if anything, their ability to find Gems isn't too far off from our own Diamond Auras to find each other and that is indeed a strong indicator of a powerful Gem type. Which one I cannot really say."

Which Steven had tried but failed to find any of them on the conventional basis which was overly frustrating.

"I was trying to find out more myself on Earth." Said Celosia.

"The construction side of things was mostly done by Dr. Schwarz."

Blue narrowed her eyes.

"This Dr. Schwarz researched the ability to grow gems from living organics...she must have been shown or provided the way to develop Gems normally. Such a task is normally known by either a certified Kindergartner or a Diamond."

Which could be anyone, really.

"You think Yellow might have given it to her?" Steven asked.

Blue shook her head.

"Yellow wouldn't dare converse with an organic like that. She would have had someone within her Court do it for her. Even so, we would never have resorted to desperate measures even with the lack of resources. White would have never approved."

But Yellow did create the Cluster.

"So the only way to find out is to talk to this Schwarz. Have you tried to capture her?"

It was considered, but advised against.

"Dr. Schwarz is a...leading teacher on Earth as part of a...college. Basically a human establishment for learning. The humans wouldn't take too kindly to kidnapping..." Steven said.

Celosia agreed.

"She also has multiple connections. She's a well respected figure that I have worked alongside and she's able to call on the rebels to Earth if she finds herself in danger. Doing so would most likely put the entire Earth at risk."

Wouldn't be the first time.

"So right now we're trying to take the rebels down bit by bit. They're everywhere right now and it's hard to figure out where we can strike next." Steven continued.

"But if we have you, Yellow and White, I think we will be able to achieve a lot more."

Not to mention the toll on Steven's mental health...he really needed a break.

"I couldn't agree more." Said Blue.

"Yellow would be instrumental."

As it was her speciality, her experiences in conquering worlds, second to none. So they had begun to plan out to find out where Yellow was being held and within due time, should be able to do so. But Steven would feel the Diamond Suit Steven breathing down his neck constantly, even with everyone else around him, walking across the ship and talking with various Gems. No one noticed, thankfully. But he knew now, that the Diamond Steven was going to linger simply as the direction Steven was taking was beginning to brew more orange shades of doubt.

* * *

Meanwhile, down in a lab, Dr. Schwarz was busy typing away on a console, looking on a few tubes of water. A few being a few dozen. Coming from a nearby door was Holly as she stood behind Dr. Schwarz.

"So human, I.." She said.

"I know about it already Holly." Said Dr. Schwarz.

"It's fine. It was a sacrifice to get them directed elsewhere. Or else this process isn't going to work."

Holly stood beside the human as the latter grinned, a look of disturbance on her face.

"Look at them." She said with pride, showing off the humans within the tubes. The faces Holly knew and willingly had given to the human, still in their loincloths.

"You will be able command again Holly, I promise you. These humans are in prime condition. Their genetic markers are perfect. How did you maintain this population, anyway?"

Holly stood back, a bit fearful of Dr. Schwarz in a way.

"Breeding programs and donations from Earth." She answered.

"Blue Diamond did most of the work, but the approval for the Zoo was mostly from White herself."

Dr. Schwarz grinned.

"For Pink Diamond from what I've been told?" She queried.

"Oh you have been too good to me. Most of the data collected from the last three projects will allow for mass production....and the Diamonds will be made redundant once this is all done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eira is another reference to WOTU.


	28. The Expectation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Sunny Sands, a Monster comes to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG CHAPTER ALERT.  
> EDIT: I always miss mistakes. Please forgive me. This chapter was rife with them.

Having Blue Diamond with them definitely made for some positive changes. As soon as she was up to speed she had already been making some suggestions based on what had been told so far. Within the week, Blue and Steven had constant meetings and her general advice was extremely helpful. Already a sense of ease had flown into an intense scenario that had been brewing for months on end. 

She even took the time to see Connie, kneeling before. Connie herself was a bit dismayed, unsure of how to react to Blue Diamond, but Steven instructed Blue to allow Connie to suss her out, saying that yes, while she is corrupted, that she deserves just as much as respect as anyone else. Blue was uncertain, but Steven told her that she likes her chin scratched. the Diamond had cautiously moved her hand underneath the her head, softly rubbing her chin, which Connie beamed at.

Seeing Connie was all he really cared about and in his heart, knew she wouldn't be like this forever. She had, after all, given Steven the love and care he needed while he was in the same position. It was only appropriate, that she receive the same respect as well.

Which was a load off his mind as well; while the war was far from over, there was still a lot of work to do. Steven still made sure he was getting his rest; which was good. The only issue, while in this state, Blue recommended against conversing with civilians; fearful that the Rebellion could tap into his calls. He really needed to speak to Sandra, however...and one of the first arguments between Blue and Steven unfolded in the meeting room.

"Do you really need this....Therapist Steven?" She asked.

There was a lot he needed to unload. His Therapist was a professional. Need he say more?

"She's been my only contact on Earth." Steven told her.

"Ever since my corruption, I have sessions with her every week or so to help through my issues."

Yes the Diamonds did leave him alone and yes that was a nice gesture even if there was a Rebellion and the Diamonds were around to stop it, but Blue didn't seem to comprehend the human need for a professional talker.

"You never thought about talking with us about it?" She asked.

"You know I'm a great listener Steven."

About that...

"I don't doubt that." Steven told her, trying to patient with the overall reason why he needed therapy to begin with.

"And you know, you're great for when I need to work through Diamond issues, sure. But I am human as well. I need a human listener too."

Blue nodded, trying to grasp it all.

"I thought Connie was your listener." Blue queried.

She was...but she's more than that. Gems wouldn't really get it. How could Steven really go into detail when Blue was technically correct, but in this case he tried his best to try to get Blue to see things. He's done it before; this was more complex, however.

"There are a select group of special people, who are trained to...help others deal with stuff that can be quite heavy. I don't expect you to understand." Steven told her.

A phrase that had Blue frown, then perk up.

"Well, yes...I don't know how to deal with your human problems. But I can still help your Diamond problems if you need but ask." She told him.

True, very true. But this was a bit...

"What about your...unknown Gem associate? That purple one?"

Vivi?

"She acts like no Gem I have ever seen. She was from Earth you said?"

Indeed. But that did give Steven some thought. Would she be the best person to speak to when she had her own problems to deal with?

"Vivi wasn't trained in the same way Therapists are." Steven told her, as he looked at his phone.

"But she's...more human than you think."

As far as being formed within a human would go anyway, that would be the closest equivalent as one as you could get.

"Then I would suggest using her instead." Blue stated, before shifting her seat, trying to lean in closer towards Steven.

"Now...do you wish to speak to me about Diamond issues?"

* * *

Would could he really say anyway? Where could he start? Steven was outright hesitant due to a lot of the stuff that went on prior. Era 2 played its part in his head and after no less than three sessions it came to the front that a lot of the hectic stressful events in his life amounted to his Pink State; the sheer amount of trauma that was inflicted put Steven into a flight or fight state; that much he knew and understood and he was impressed with how Sandra picked it up just from gauging his reactions alone. 

It didn't stop them from happening but it did shed a new light on the problem that Steven could work out ways to get out of it. Eventually a lot of the episodes stopped when Steven was able to get some of his own feelings under control. Although, he only had mostly depressive episodes as opposed to anything that would still fall into rage. His anger would still fuel it, but the way that he could get himself out of them had improved. The outburst with Connie in the Motel bathroom; Connie knew about the swellings and glowing pink skin and was one of the few to witness it without it getting out of hand, using words like Steven preferred to. However then it came to Jessie's Party...Vivi was there to see it, a soft recollection of events to where it triggered it without warning, but again, Steven took to processing that much faster and Vivi herself, was surprised, she didn't react too badly or in a way Steven expected her to.

He told Blue of this strange transformation; whom didn't seem all that fazed.

"Hearing this is a coincidence." She said, more intrigued if anything.

"We were talking about Pink, while you were gone, and her powers. She rarely demonstrated them but White was the only one who knew of her true destructive prowess. Yellow and I understood that Pink could be a little bit...demanding and we would cater for her to keep her satisfied and in a way, White satisfied, but truthfully? White said Pink's powers were some of the strongest out of all of us. We could scarcely believe it ourselves but...over the years it would make sense...and the pink state you mentioned? She did demonstrate some sort of...glow which at some point stopped if I recall correctly?"

White definitely knew more than what she was letting on then; Steven had that impression from when they faced off in the mecha.

"Oh and your Pearl? We were told that she was shattered for fraternisation and acting out of line, when in actuality, Pink accidentally broke her and White tried to sweep the incident under a rug of lies."

Another moment, Steven remembered from the Reef. Volley said it herself that Pink did it.

"So I've been told." Steven said, preferring not the recall his own close calls.

"So my Therapist believes it was basically a defensive mechanism...my body thinking every situation it was in was like life or death."

Blue's eyes widened as she gasped, reaching her hand out.

"Oh no, was Pink..."

Maybe...maybe not. His Therapist had a different impression.

"No...well, I'm sure. But..." Steven stammered, seeing Blue freak out with the idea that Pink thought it was life or death for her...instead of it reflecting it on Steven's state of mind. Blue was a part of that trauma, a sliver still remaining in Steven's stead but Blue was the least of the three he had an issue with; discussions that with yes, she did kidnap his father, that she thought she was doing a good thing and was saving him and that Greg wasn't actually in a bad position to begin with. Still morally wrong, but from Blue's perspective she was being the most compassionate.

Even seeing her breakdown in the room of Rose Quartzes and Yellow singing for her; the grief over the loss of a loved one was just as much for her as it was for his dad.

Going towards the end as well, it was Blue after much convincing, who put the pieces together over how much Pink suffered underneath their rules and she was indeed, better off on Earth.

It was, of course _no_ _excuse_ for her doing what she did, but it was explainable that all this damage done, amounted to more and more suffering. Steven had been under the impression that maybe the Diamonds needed therapy more than he did. Though Sandra found that to be an amusing thought, it also wouldn't be a bad idea either.

"It's only a power boost basically when I need it, although I have gotten comments about an entirely new form. I get taller, less pink in the skin but more pink in the hair, kind of like moms?"

Blue nodded.

"Yes..." She said; seeing this at least once throughout the week while Steven was sparring; demonstrating something to a group of Gems during battle simulations to keep certain Gems inspired.

"You talk about how this Pink State is triggered through rage. A lot like how my sadness triggers my power to induce sorrow unto others or happiness produces clouds to induce happiness, another emotion must be triggering this transformation. Have you identified this new form?"

He's tried to. It's become a bit more strange, rarer to trigger but has been seen to go out after the Pink State has come out first.

"It's stronger? I don't feel...angry or sad....I feel....uh...strong I feel...determined..."

Blue raised an eyebrow.

"You fight with passion." She said.

"Jasper says you fight with more control and with more accuracy. Perhaps you're taking advantage of the power your rage provides, shifting it aside in place of purpose; the passion. You've become accustomed to combat in a pure form. I haven't seen anything like it, well, maybe Yellow but her powers have developed to help put Gems together again instead of pulling them apart."

Wow, so they did learn a lot while he was gone.

"You think...I enjoy the thrill of it?" He asked, scratching his head.

That would be disturbing.

"A Diamond presented with a chance to fight for a reason isn't what I call a thrill. Learning to channel your powers in a constructive manner is a rare ability. When we were first forming Sapphires all they could really do was produce ice. After working out the flaws with the early versions, we discovered their natural talent for foresight."

It made him think with how much work really went into designing each and every gem. Had they planned the Gems this way? Or did it take a lot of testing to figure out their worth. Still, it was quite the revelation. It reminded him of someone.

"That's like the time when we trying to get Peridot to shapeshift. She couldn't, but she did discover the power to move metal." He told her.

Blue nodded.

"Exactly." She said with pride.

"White had found her ability and that perhaps Gems that required it, could eventually discover their own worth and new powers. It's always an extraordinary sight to see anything new."

And so what would Steven call this new power?

"You think I should continue developing it?" He wondered.

Blue smiled.

"Most definitely." She replied.

"You lead this Armada, after all. You are becoming a great Diamond in your own right so it's only fit that this new form become the new icon for Gems everywhere. For Gems to believe and for your enemies to fear."

She had a point, although he didn't want Gems to fear him. Just to respect him...the fact of those hating him was something perhaps, unavoidable at the end of the day.

"Learn to grasp it and I think it would be a very useful tool."

* * *

Here he was believing his main issue was that it was that something bad was going to come out of it. Discovering new powers was once a fearful task, but the more Steven overlooked it, these powers just required mastery. That's all. It was better than feeling angry or sad all the time and that the more than he could work on it, the better he'll be able to get into this state when it was necessary.

After the meeting, Steven for the first time in a while, felt good about himself, striding about the Leviathan with a new found confidence. Tracking Yellow's Gem took time; meaning that the powers combined with Vivi, Celosia and Connie were either not working, or her Gem was in an out of reach place for sure.

Still, even if it took them time, Steven would spend it with those Gems who needed him, and Blue had been relegated to different jobs such as communications with Homeworld and other fleets. Construction of a secondary fleet was underway on the other side of Homeworld; a project Steven only mentioned to a fair few...as well as ground work for other fleets to be constructed on numerous colonies that found Steven's cause just.

This was the First Homeworld Fleet; the flagship Leviathan and its valuable crew. A lot of hard work emerged from the last few months alone and it was staggering to see how much love and loyalty emerged from so many Gems that perhaps that's what really triggered this new form.

He'd gone down to the docking to check up on Connie; they were close to a nearby planet so she could spread her wings while Steven checked on the colony status alongside Volleyball, meeting with leaders in regards to their requirements and any issues with the rebels. Literally. It was the Sand Planet Steven had once visited ages ago; a colony of Opals that had constructed a library there. Steven believed Connie would love it there.

Taking a Hand Ship down to the surface, they could see the huge ocean; courtesy of the hard work of many Lazuli's...shining blue...it reminded Steven so much of home. Once on the ground, Steven had rendezvoused with a few Opals and their leaders and overall spent most of the day walking through their cities of tall white towers, collecting and writing books. Connie would indeed love it.

During sunset, Steven had Connie with him, sitting with him. Vivi had joined in as well, acting as Connie's Caretaker while Steven was working. The sunset held an orange glow, the skies purple and oceans aqua-green. Pristine, sparkling... a warmth spread across Steven's chest as he sat there, sand between his fingers and legs out as he leaned back. The sands here were white and more fine, but otherwise, nostalgia held both the warmth of the past and it's chill. Vivi sat to him on his left, , right leg straight and left leg bent with her arm perched on her knee. Connie on his right, trying to sit, eyes peering out before her, entranced somewhat....but Steven believed she was otherwise content for the moment, spending time with him that must have had her homesick just as much.

"Bloody hell" Said Vivi.

"Can't believe you left paradise like this for the coldness of space." 

That wasn't the original plan, but...

"I'd say when this is all over, I'd show you but..." He worded, looking up at Connie.

"I dunno if I can go back."

Vivi raised an eyebrow.

"Pulling me leg there mate or?" She asked.

He didn't know anymore. The thought of heading back to Earth was becoming less and less of a priority. The Gems here needed their icon to continue to fight. Without Steven, their morale could fall.

"I just figured, walking the human path would have lead to me discovering my worth. What if this is it Vivi? My fate is tied to the millions of others out there, fighting to keep an idea alive."

Vivi pouted, furrowing her brows all the while.

"The fuck you sound like a 19th Century Philosopher." She said.

Steven paused for that moment, reflecting on his words. She was right...but perhaps because he had been reading books during what ever off time he could spare for himself.

"But you know, when I think about it, you're exactly right." 

He was?

"I would have continued to walk alongside the human path ya know? Being a Gem opens up a lot more for me, but what do I even do with this information?"

All Steven wanted to do previously was be a Crystal Gem. Ever since leaving Little Homeschool, Steven hadn't had anything huge in mind. But to where he was, he didn't find himself fitting in, but Blue held nothing but praise for his efforts...he was a natural.

"You've been asking yourself that a lot." Steven commented, noticing that she had been questioning this for months now.

"Any ambitions? Anything that you wanted to before that?"

Vivi shrugged, grasping the sand in her hands.

"Honestly, I think that's half the issue." She replied.

"If what Celosia said was right, I'm not even the original Vivi. The original who might as well have had thoughts and dreams and maybe would have been a better daughter. But...fuck I don't even know if I should be called Vivi."

The revelation that Vivi was born from a living, breathing human sacrificed to incubate her Gem was a very disturbing thought. Steven's gone down that road with identity issues before and right now, he still was having that war with himself about it.

"I can relate; I had issues with people previously thinking I was either Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond..." Steven told her, going past his own dilemmas from ages past.

"You can call yourself anything you want. What ever feels good to you."

Vivi groaned. 

"Eh I still take to the name." She said, bringing up the sand into a hand and examining it in her palm.

"But ya think that I'm a different person...and I don't think Vivi would have imagined that this....drinking n' smokin n' cursin' chick would have been her future."

And the little girl Steven saw? She was definitely sweet. Steven had the same progression from youth to young adult. Optimism and cheerfulness worn down by trauma and destruction and the denial of the pain hidden deep beneath the surface. Perhaps, in a way, her history could have been the true cause of the change in development.

"You must have been hurt really bad." Steven assumed; speaking from experience.

"Your mom really loved you."

He could see tears rolling down her face; recalling what was lost and reflected on her own being.

"You met Miranda?" She said, turning to Steven.

Steven nodded. He figured Vivi didn't recall their visit to their home town.

"Yeah. We met her on trying to figure out how to bring you back."

A gasp elicited her lips; stunned by the revelation, but otherwise smiled with a fondness unexplored; seeing this side of Vivi was something else.

"She was a champion at cookin' the best roasts. Pity me adopted dad was such a fuck stick."

So he was told. Her head fell, face returning to cold somber.

"My birth family...I mean, Vivi's birth parents, I barely remember them....I guess emerging from Vivi herself must have fuzzed up me memories somewhat."

No stranger to bizarre inheritance, Steven would have had patches of his mothers own memory seep through from time to time. In a way, he would think, that maybe it was part of her that was calling out to him...telling him things he was meant to know, that maybe she was still around somewhere until the day his Gem was removed.

"But Miranda has been the only mother I've really known. Dad was only an ass down the line."

And according to Miranda, was due to him working in a Chemical Plant...although that reminded Steven something important; something he had to inform Vivi of, though wasn't sure if he should. So he decided to be practical and not cause too much panic and asked more questions.

"Your mom...she was a Scientist right?"

Vivi nodded.

"Yeah she was." She replied.

"Worked as a Geologist. Funny; they say that there is an opposing force between those who believe in God and those believe the truths of science. Mother as a woman of the faith and a woman of the world. Two ends of the spectrum, mashed together...but I figure, after Douche-Dad, that she had to place her heart in something that most likely didn't exist, because she felt that I was her little miracle."

Steven smiled.

"Yeah, she called you, Princess Aurora."

Vivi beamed, bringing up her knees to her chest as she wrapped her arms around them.

"Haha yes. That's right." She said with a small chuckle.

"She used to say I glowed in my sleep; I must have been as bright as a lamp light or somethin'"

That was an endearing love Steven could see as beautiful as it was, irregardless of origin. 

"I miss her dearly...but my intentions were to graduate, go back and home and...well, I dunno...explore the country? Stuck in a small cottage for most of ya life. I kind of want to get out there...so I kinda envy you Steven."

Two souls, searching for meaning in their lives. Their common attributes became more glaringly obvious by the moment, as he looked up at Connie who was still busy looking out to see. He wondered, how this would all end? No doubt that Dr. Schwarz would need to be accounted with her actions but...would Connie be the same, even after they cure her?

"But that's enough about my sob story for one day." She continued as she stood up, eyes peering out just as much.

"I expect to drag myself through what ever comes next I suppose. Can I go back to Jayhawk or what ever? That's the real question."

Indeed. Steven had been thinking the same thing.

"That's a tough one." He said.

"Like you said, you're a Gem; there's more open for you now."

To place faith on ones self, to hold that confidence into no other entity than yourself was a struggle Steven had always been balancing on his day to day. Some, harder than others.

"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays." Vivi said.

"Søren Kierkegaard. I take that as I've made my decisions through what I thought was talking to myself, and the premise of the one God is the one that's inside all of us. I think that's what Miranda was getting at."

And recollecting the Ghost of Diamond Suit Steven with him had to have more so of an ambiguous premise, now that he thought about it.

"You think we're all Gods inside mortal and immortal bodies?" Steven questioned.

Vivi snorted.

"Not literally." She answered, putting her hands in her pockets as she lightly kicked the sand in front of her.

"Something controls us, holds power over us, influences our minds and shapes our forms...we get frustrated over things that don't go our way or we hold a perception of the universe that will only ever by unique to every individual. We have wants and needs and that yeah, our likes and dislikes can direct us as individuals. The concept of a God or a God like construct within ourselves are literally telling where to go, how to feel, how to think. Surely, you've spoken to only yourself on every other occasion and for what better reason that to have a conversation with the one true power overall."

He never thought about it like that. Envision spirits of himself, his mother. Standing with him, arguing with him. A reflection of the self in one or many ways.

"That's very...deep Viv." Steven commented in awe.

The Gem grinned.

"Well yeah finding your own light is a process forever in motion. I figure, the way to save Connie would be the same concept. Helping her find hers..."

Steven closed his eyes for the moment, the darkness around him as he imagined Steven Diamond standing behind him, with his own hands in his pockets, only to pull out a single green feather. Steven opened his eyes, the bright orange sun dipping beyond the horizon of the great green ocean.

"Submission to our wants, our needs. It's how our life is dictated and we are nothing but worshippers to the voices in own our heads, desperate for direction."

He turned to her, her eyes half lidded as she continued to stare outwards. Vivi must have known something herself then...he once told himself that Vivi had two voices; thicker accent when overly emotional but a rather, lesser pronounced voice when she was pouring out her cynical philosophies. Another version of Vivi yet again.

"Was it the original Vivi who wanted to....study?" Steven wondered.

The Purple Gem splayed her hand against the sun, watching the light pour through the spaces between her fingers.

"The Gods inside of ourselves...note the plural, can ask for many things." She said; though not really answering his question. Maybe she did.

"Parts that make us whole. The angry, the sad, the happy, the neutral. How the self can fall into this state is like the Gods are constantly playing tug of war with our emotions."

He wondered if she ever talked to Connie like this back in College. It had him curious. The aforementioned tilted her head towards him, lowering it down as she wanted his attention. He rubbed the side of her face; Connie's big eyes closing as she enjoyed the small comfort he could provide. He wondered about her pieces, parts of her scattered about, unsure of what she should be thinking or feeling.

Her Gods had either fled or had become feral on their own.

It was the general expectation, if Steven's own dip into the chaos was any indication.

"It's not fair, I know that much." Steven said.

"But I need to know that Connie is happy, I need to know that others are okay and that this war has to end some day."

It was then Steven's Comms went off, as he pressed the button on his headset as the call came through.

"Yeah Steven here." He said.

"What's that, your breaking up?"

Vivi looked him, then looked at Connie as she had turned around, her eyes focused on the buildings falling over in the city behind them. The ground started to shake as Steven almost lost his footing. Connie screeched in panic as Steven lost contact with the Leviathan, but then noticed a huge ship; the Diamond Destroyer raising up in clouds of smoke, sand and dust. 

"For fuck sake...and we can't have a moment of peace now can we?" Vivi complained.

No. No they couldn't. More static on the comm side however, as Volley tried so desperately to get through.

"Celo- said that.....Yellow..." 

Steven furrowed his brows.

"Come again, something about Yellow Diamond?"

Words that gave Vivi pause, as she looked at Connie and nodded, their eye colours inverting as they tapped into their powers. A distorting yellow light flicking in and out...small, but noticeable against the other stable lights. This was not a coincidence.

"She's in the Diamond Destroyer!" Vivi called out.

Not just that, but a legion of other small ships started to rise as well. How in the world did Steven not notice this? Everything with the inspection had gone fine with no hassle. Unless the Opals had no idea; or they were setting up a trap for him. A giant green diamond screen popped up in front of him, with Emeralds big head filling most of it, with the biggest grin on her face.

"Hello again Steven! Glad you've come to join us in celebrating your inevitable demise!"

Steven clenched his fist, with Connie growling and huffing her breath through her nose, glaring at the Rebel Leader as she slammed her tail into the sands behind her.

"The distorters are working well which is fantastic...working just the way we want them to. You see, you're working and we're working harder to cement your inevitable doom!"

Distorters?

"Clearing through c-tter. SS-standby!" Cubedot called out.

He's never seen or heard of distorters before.

"Steven, it's Blue Diamond! I'm coming down!"

Within a moments, a Handship came down as Blue exited from its interior in a blue bubble, having shapeshifted yet again into more appropriate attire; blue armour plates with a black undersuit and with the only thing revealing on her original form was a her Diamond more reminiscent of raindrops that accentuated her form; something born out of one of their meetings as a point to intimidate, complete with a black belt with the Blue Diamond belt buckle.

"Oh wow, we get the honour of both Steven Diamond and Blue Diamond; this is fantastic!" Emerald states happily.

"A challenge for sure, but let us have the battle of a life time."

Steven looked at Connie, scraping her claw into the sand and getting ready to move. Steven had a strategy in mind, but wanted to see what Blue had to say to Emerald first.

"Emerald, enough is enough!" She called out.

"You give us Yellow back and we'll limit the devastation on your fleets."

The Green gem cackled at the threat, throwing her wrist to her mouth, her sass visible.

"Oh don't worry about Yellow. She's nice and comfortable where she is. Much more useful without that mouth of hers."

What in the universe was she talking about.

"They're not gonna see reason Blue." Steven told her, his manner turning a chilling cold in an instant.

"Maybe I should test out my new form..."

Blue nodded.

"Understood."

With that the screen disappeared and the battle was on. Vivi jumped on Connie's back as the latter jumped up and hovered around Blue. They could see a group of rogue Gems; some Opals (perhaps traitor Rebels in that sense; Steven should have known better.)running towards their direction. The rebels had a few in their missive, massive in number...as for the true power of their strength against two Diamonds?

The group was in sync; the Leviathan sending down a few hand ships to do battle with the smaller destroyers, as Steven pressed his hand against his gem, channelling his power as his body began to change...growing taller, more muscular, the pink energy swirling in streams around him as his hair grew poofier, curlier. Opening his eyes he looked at his hands, opening and closing them. He was a bit taller against Blue now, not seeming so tiny. He jumped up and stood on her shoulder as she waved her arm and created a ball of blue light, firing off multiple pellet like spheres below onto the scores of Gems beneath them. However the Diamond Destroyer was about the fire up again, as Steven sensed the energies increasing from its direction.

"This was the attack was telling you about." Steven said to Blue.

"I had to exhaust all my power to defend the fleet."

Blue nodded.

"I will keep the forces occupied here. I suggest heading towards the ship and find Yellow at all costs!"

Steven couldn't agree more.

"On it!"

With that, he jumped off her shoulder as more forces came to assist Blue on the ground level, landing on Connie's back as Vivi lead the way. The three evaded on coming blasts as Steven summoned his shield to defend themselves, diving and dipping as Connie's agility allow them to dodge oncoming shots in their direction. Steven was all serious, but Vivi was having the time of her life, laughing as she and Connie lead the charge, aiming towards the Diamond Destroyer.

Steven tried to imagine being in his mother shoes; thousands of years ago, leading the same types of battles, long stretches of time as the hundreds of soldiers ran below. Steven's new form amplified his hearing, his senses, gaining a new hyper awareness as he scanned for those who would dare to mess with his crew, deflecting even the fast pacing shots, like time had slowed down all around him as they had to move to different sides and shots unavoidable; he was able to shield without a single delay. With growing power, Steven's confidence grew even further; determined to get to the Destroyer without getting hit once.

It was a cycle, a course as heat ran around his body, his heart was pumping and the thrill Vivi was displaying was infectious, courage pouring into his chest as Connie increase her speed. Steven felt the charge in the blast almost got off, but otherwise got the attention of Emerald; the beam almost charged up as it changed its aim to try and get him. The charged up Diamond that changed the universe, for what ever reason, enjoyed the possible fact that yes, he was the biggest threat that he would have felt insulted if she hadn't tried to kill him; a feeling Steven felt before, his subconscious or his prior attitude would have him fearing for his life. But no; this form possessed absolutely _zero_ fear at all, only the power that guided him to victory.

"Shit, we're cutting it close Stevo." Vivi called out, trying to shout against the winds.

She wasn't wrong; the Destroyers beam edging on the bend of releasing its fury. Steven ordered her to go closer; to which Vivi was only a split second hesistant but otherwise listened to Steven's orders intently, commanding Connie to get closer. Connie herself was steeled with the copious amounts of her own, original version of courage Steven had counted on many times before, rolling around as the beams yellow lighting got brighter and brighter as they got closer, Steven raising up his hexagonal shield left and right, frequently as they disappeared and reappeared with new focus.

"Steven..." Vivi called out again, worried about getting too close to the blast radius.

A little more...

"ASCEND!" Steven ordered.

Noise disappeared briefly, as Connie flew upwards, and the beam itself finally firing off with a huge line of a massive line of powerful yellow electricity shooting out across the horizons, destroying buildings. He could hear Connie panting; while she was brave, didn't mean she would like the risk Steven took. Wouldn't be the first time.

"Okay, I'm going into the ship." Steven told Vivi.

"Stay close by, defend each other!"

Vivi nodded, as Steven prepared to jump on the hull.

"Roger." Vivi said, giving him the salute.

"Be careful."

Steven nodded.

"Same to you." He said, before jumping off and and landing on the exterior of the Diamond Destroyer.

* * *

A fiery evening spent in combat and there was more to come in the trickling twilight in his attempt to save Yellow Diamond. Steven ran across the massive ship, being bigger than he expected to be. The winds were cutting to the bone and forces were bubbled out of the ship in their attempt to slow Steven down. Quartzes, Rubies, Topazes and the like. Steven smirked and crackled his knuckles; his Diamond eyes glinting in the face of forces before him. He was taller, he was stronger than any of them...so they were more than welcome to try. 

Summoning their weapons, each of them ran to him as Steven fought then off, one by one, using his shield to force them back. On any other day, Steven would try to use words of reason, but there was no place for that here. Too many for starters and these Gems were lost in their own heads, the God controlling their own forms, their light telling to do this heinous acts. Some of the Rubies even fused to get to Steven's height, brawling with him as they threw punchings kicks and the odd head butt; only for Steven jump on his shield to slide by them, jumping up and chopping their next, instantly forcing the gems to unfuse. Steven pushed through several Topaz; naturally larger Gems as they used axes and maces against him with all the effort they could muster, only for Steven kick underneath them, sliding again as he used his powers to jump up high and stomp one after another, causing them to poof on contact.

The Quartzes were tougher and trickier, taking longer for Steven to take them down due to their skills. They were quicker than Topazes but slower than Rubies. Able to dodge and almost hit Steven alone if it weren't his timing with his shield. Several of them, aggressively trying to strike and having much more of a weapon variety in their group, seeing one of with a whip. He's sparred with Amethyst before, so he was able to grab the whip itself and use the Quartz as the weapon, as she was confused and stunned as Steven used her as a ball to whack several of the Quartzes away to a safe distance, while Connie and Vivi were up above, with Connies eyes turning a vivid green, before firing off a blast from them, causing some of the Quartzes to be distracted as Steven swung his special Citrine up into the air and slammed her on to the group, causing all of them to poof. He looked back up at Vivi, grinned as he gave her a thumps up before running towards a nearby open entrance.

Still within his beef up state, Steven walked into the interior of the Diamond Destroyer. As expected it was cold and sterile with its yellow and green interior. He stormed around as alarms went off; obviously Emerald wasn't dumb enough to not send off the alarm and no sooner than latter, more Gems came running in his direction. Steven said absolutely nothing, almost aloof in his stature; tightening his fists with electrical power crackling from it, preparing for more combat. Going through the Corridors of the Destroyer, he tried to find some way of trying to find Yellow Diamond within this giant ship. Fighting more Topaz off, he found a room separate from the rest, opening the door, closing then locking it. It was more of a storage space, but hopefully Steven was able to contact the Leviathan from this room within due time.

"Cubedot, I'm inside the Diamond Destroyer." Steven called out, kneeling down and pressing on his headset.

"Are you still getting static?"

A took a moment for the Gem to respond.

"The distorter itself...the fifth...corridor....starboard...." She replied.

It was enough for him to work with. 

"Roger that Cubedot, Steven out."

If it wasn't making enough noise, Steven attempted stealth, keeping his head down if he could, hiding behind things as rebels inside the ship tried to find him. He could see security cameras every so often, flinging his shield at them so he could destroy them. He knew Emerald would be watching his every move; surely. The deadliest enemy on their very ship...Steven wanted her to be afraid of losing.

Going up and downstairs and after a few close calls, Steven came across the Distorter console. It was way too complex for him to figure out, though he ended up shrugging and destroying the console with a single punch, breaking it to pieces. Looking around, there was noone nearby guarding it, strangely enough. Steven felt off by that, but otherwise tried to contact Cubedot again.

"Cubedot, the Distorter has been destroyed." Steven said.

"Have you tracked down Yellow Diamonds-"

He should have sensed the laser going off again as the entire ship rocked under the sheer force of its power, as he almost lost his balance yet again.

"Celosia says that Yellow should be in the central hub on the third floor." She said.

"Now that the distorters down, there's a huge energy signature pinging from within it. She should be there."

Good. Steven immediately started heading in that direction, making an effort to get there quickly as he could. Although he did come across more Gems, there were nothing but fodder now, some even terrified to face Steven, especially the Rubies. He had no time to think anything else; no one was gonna stand in his way.

Eventually he made it to a massive engine room, with a machine similar to the one found at Eira within the middle. Silver and rounded with several connected cylindrical cases in the middle clustered together. Yellow electricity poured out from the transparent tubes and scattered itself through smaller tubes. Just as Steven suspected; like with Blue, her Gem was being used to power up the Destroyer. He took a deep breath, until he saw Emerald jump down from above, landing on one of the cases with the biggest grin on her face. Steven's patience was wearing deathly thin.

"Glad you saved me the trouble of having to find you later." Steven said coldly.

Emerald crossed her arms and grinned.

"You are a Diamond through and through."

"Isn't this invigorating? The very thing you swore to prevent and you've been decimating my soldiers with the very forces you ordered to stay their hands. How ironic."

Steven wasn't in the mood.

"I haven't shattered a single one." He said, still remaining oddly calm.

"But I suspect you wouldn't care if I would."

Emerald laughed.

"Well, frankly no." She answered.

"But I get to see the predictions unfold before me. The potential battles to come will be glorious. You should have seen half the battles I've waged thousands of years ago. If you were any other Gem I would have flattened you by now."

But of course, he was the one Gem who would do the flattening.

"I expect you to do what you have to...because all it will do....is to serve your demise."

Steven lifted his chin.

"I don't care for your expectations or that of what the rebellion thinks I'll do." He told her.

"You will all been in bubbles before the end...unless I find a more befitting punishment for the lot of you."

Emerald jumped off the case and strode with a hand on her hip towards Steven, brash and bold, exuding a pseudo seductive expression as she walked around him, noting she was actually shorter than him despite her naturally tall state, even with heels that clacked around the metal flooring.

"My, my, _my._..such...words you would only dare to use in silly play fights. You talk big...you are big...but there's something in the predictions that she said you would still be losing and you know what? I take immense satisfaction on what you will lose Steven Diamond."

Baseball talked big too apparently. He cared not for her predictions. Steven knew what to be done and be damned anyone else was going to stand in his way. She stood behind him, grinning as she pulled out a sword from her gem, glistening long and tried to stab Steven in the back, but the winds of change had Steven summon a hexagonal shield from behind without even looking, with the sword clanging against it with a huge chink. The small fragment of time lulled briefly as Steven turned around and went to punch Emerald in the face, only for her to dodge to the side. She was found of flips and jumping around the room, using the electricity flow from the pipes against Steven; being able to open up small parts to pour our and direct numerous bolts. Steven had his normal round shield, jumping and chasing Emerald everywhere and being unable to land a direct hit on her.

A challenge, in every sense of the word, but in a way Steven found to be quite compelling, being directed by all of the senses, by every infinite string of energy within his core but absolutely loathing the way Emerald kept cackling...with that in mind, came a single stroke of luck; grabbing her hand and slamming her on to the top of a cylinder case and causing it to crack. Emerald whined in pain as Steven jumped down and made a massive stomp on her chest. Worming her out of it was impossible, as he put all of his weight on her, and had put in tiny shackled shields around her ankles and wrists, enough force to keep her in place with such precision and control over his powers.

She looked up at him, his expression something beyond anything Emerald had ever seen, but she had expected that from any of the other Diamonds; not Steven however. The fabled one that set Gems free, sought the damage in his stare alone; eyelids half drawn and overall atmosphere he oozed was entirely judgemental.

"What's the matter Emerald?" He said.

"Smile for me."

But she didn't smile...when Steven expected her to.

"You wretched Diamonds are all the same...no matter how much you claim to want to change, it all stays the same!" She cried.

"You had people who believed in your ways and we have honoured them for thousands of years...but you have to come into place, this..... _half breed_ who has the gall to lay claim his rules against our kind."

Steven raised an eyebrow. He said nothing at first, but forced his foot to press harder against her chest as Emerald's pupil shrunk in surprise; yelping as the pressure become too hard to bare. The sheer force of a Diamond would poof her instantly if he wanted to. But he didn't.

"I said smile Emerald." He said once more, his tone in between arrogance and gruffness.

"You can talk all you want. I can be here all day...unless you let Yellow Diamond go. Or I will... _decimate_ this fleet."

Emerald swallowed. She knew he was serious. Blue Diamond had said the same thing.

"I can tear apart this very room with a single shout. Please don't make me do that."

The Green Gem growled as she spat at him. Now that wasn't very regal like. And the patience he had, was lost. But he was still in control...So Steven moved his foot off of Emerald and took a deep breath. Emerald shivered as she tried to back herself up against the side of a casing behind her, quivering in fear as she began to whisper tiny nos under her breath repeatedly and rapidly. With his arms spread, Steven closed his eyes as his form began to glow....as he unleashed a mighty shout.

He bared fangs, his eyes were hot pink as the soundwaves spread out around him, cracking and quaking the entire room. Tubes shattered as glass spread everywhere... a single shard flew by Steven and in a way, the God in him perceived his reflection, was his own personal leviathan before it continued it's arched path to the floor.

The terrified Emerald had her hands on the sides of her head as she couldn't stand the noise, then felt...

~~Remember the Monster on the Sunny Planet Baseball predicted?~~

_crack..._

Once the shouting ceased, steam had poured out of broken pipes, alarms going off as Emeralds form began to glitch out. Looking down at her, there was no longer the cocky Rebel Leader that Steven once saw, but a shaken up Gem caught up in more than she would ever be prepared to deal with. Steven felt something in himself in that moment...and again, saw the Leviathan cracked in the reflection in that Gem. He shook his head as he approached her in the attempt to heal her, but Emerald was too traumatised to be close to him; batting at him to get aware from her.

"I just wanted my fleets back!" She cried, the crack getting worse. Her form rapidly changed as her limbs became noodles.

Steven was instantly reminded of the time Amethyst's Gem had cracked. He put his hand against his head, which began to yell at him for being so reckless, so foolish and forthcoming with his arrogance; his desire to provide a show of force on someone who was most definitely their enemy. But the way this unfolded...he was unaware that the Ghost of Steven Diamond was behind him.

~~What happened to Steven Universe?~~

Who he was he again?

Shaking his head, he looked at down at the terrified Gem who was on the cusp of shattering. No. Steven _doesn't_ shatter Gems. That was one rule he had sworn by and he wasn't going to break it now.

"You can have your fleets." He said, his voice with the hint of compassion once discarded and found again.

"I always need more willing soldiers Emerald. I'm preparing a secondary fleet...maybe I can get you to become the Fleet Admiral of that. You've proven your skills time and time again..."

~~And am I always going to be here?~~

Emerald wasn't sure what she should do.

"She...didn't predict this..." Emerald stammered.

"She said...you would ... _shatter_ me."

Baseball said that? Steven knelt down before the distressed Leader, looking straight at her Gem with purpose. He just wanted to heal her.

"I've defied predictions before." Steven said, before he licked his hand.

"I'm a Diamond of my word. I am constantly learning and growing and I aim to instil such a concept into all Gems that they don't have to abide by what they're made for. If you want to lead a fleet, I will let you. I will pull all stops to see what needs to be done for each Gem that feels that they've either felt hurt by the Diamonds..."

He showed her his wet palm, sparkling with his healing magic.

"Or by me."

A weird emotion swam around in Emerald, unsure of what to make of it. And Emerald would listen to the God within herself, telling her that what she wants and feels. Steven knew it was important for her to discover what else she could possibly achieve with more options available.

"All we had to do was talk."

Emerald was hesitant, looking at his hand for the longest time. Her eye trailed to him, no smile, no frown...the certainty in the uncertain. No orange in the room to cause anything else against the measure.

Steven then moved forward, pressing his hand against her Gem. It started to glow, the cracks mending within due time. Her form eventually warped back to normal, but she was still sitting there, even as Steven stood above her, with a impossible to describe look, but one that was less about aggression and more about his patience and the alluded to infamous compassion. Going between his face and his hand that had been given to her. Emerald took a moment...before grabbing it as he helped her stand up. Tension was there for a brief moment, until Emerald relented.

"Fine....you've already done enough damage to this fleet." She complained.

"Figures you owe me a new one anyway."

* * *

It wasn't long until the battle ended on her command. Hours later, Emerald was taken to Blue Diamond for briefing, communicating for an overall ceasefire. Steven remained in the Diamond Destroyer, however, on his own as he was trying to get Yellow out of it. He had since returned to his normal form, standing there and looking at how big this device was. His loneliness demanded the communication from the self, as Steven Diamond stood before him, the former disturbed by his own behavior.

"I almost shattered her." Admiral Steven said.

"Did you want to?" Steven Diamond asked.

Did he?

"I could have taken many routes...and Emerald was leaving me with no choice." Admiral continued, not even bothered by the Ghost...or God standing there. He felt more comfortable with the Ghost terminology.

"Was it the only choice?" Steven Diamond asked.

Maybe. Maybe not. Baseball predicted the shattering so...

"Maybe it was simply defiance over the desire. A choice of many." Admiral imagined.

Was it hatred? Was it cold hatred he couldn't feel? Did he just not care if he shattered her or not? His heart was troubled by the notion; his throat clogged up with anxiety in response. Visions of Volleyball and Pearl in the reef came to mind; Volley's trauma. Would Emerald really recover?

"I am not better than Mom."

"Are you better than Steven?"

Steven lifted his head, turning to Steven Diamond in confusion. Following the line of sight, he could see a dark figure standing on one of raised cylinder casings, dark skin, short black hair and a blue space suit. It looked like Connie but.

" _Wrath..._ " Steven muttered.

Wrath smirked. What was she even doing here?

"I am what is perceived to be what is best resting in ones head." She said.

Steven Diamond sat down on one of the lower casings, peering outwards at nothing in particular.

"It doesn't answer the question. Are you better than Steven?"

"I am perceived to be what is best resting in ones head." 

Another casing, another Connie. Shorting, in the training suit with the sword in her hand, looking like Emeralds.

"Pride..." Steven muttered. He was so totally confused right now, with the visions of his Gatekeeper spilling out all this to him for reasons his Gatekeeper doesn't understand.

"No one of you need to be here."

His head was already spinning in frustration that he was supposed to have this all resolved last time.

"What about me?'

A new voice? Looking at Steven Diamond, it was no longer him standing before the Admiral.

But _Stevonnie_ wearing his suit.

"Uhhhh..." Steven stammered...this was the last figure he had expected to see.

"I...I dunno."

Stevonnie with their hair tied up, dark circles under their eyes and hands in their pockets just like Steven Diamond would act. So what would Stevonnie represent?

"You _want_ something out of this. Am I to be the best resting in ones head? You should know the answer to that surely."

He honestly had no idea.

"Nope sorry." Steven replied, chuckling nervously and still outright perplexed. Stevonnie's purpose here puzzled him, the way the God within himself was showing him something else that he couldn't define.

Stevonnie then walked back slightly, rising their arms as they lowered their head; closed their eyes as scores of Nightingales, lyrebirds and Kookaburras, each a motif and feeling Steven knew, flew past by the dozens, fluttering off as Stevonnie vanished, leaving the figures of Connie and Vivi walking into the room in their place. He was left gobsmacked, frozen briefly as he wasn't sure of what to make of what was going on. Blinking; staring...processing. A familiar sensation.

"Who were you talking to?" Vivi asked.

Steven quickly thought of something, before pretending to press on his intercom.

"Oh just uh...Blue...ya know...chatting about Emerald..." He fibbed, rubbing his head.

Vivi rolled her eyes.

"Righto mate." She said with a finger gun.

"Oh so...I thought you would have Yellow Diamond out by now."

No. He was busy hallucinating again. Busy guy these days, everyone knows that.

"Uh...well, I wanted you to have all the fun in demolishing the machine. An activity you and uhh...Connie can share." Steven lied.

The Aussie Gem snorted.

"What evs...looks like ya did a number on it already. Fuck I saw Emerald being escorted earlier into a Roaming Eye, cuffed. I thought you would have smacked her one." She believed.

Yeah about that...

"I kind of did?" He said with a bit of an unintended crack in his voice.

Better not go into too much detail.

"Anyway, I'll talk about it later. Let's just get Yellow out of here."

* * *

He was glad Vivi took joy in such harmless destruction and Connie was cleanly carve her way through the metal. Once Yellow as freed Steven placed her Gem nearby to give her some room. After a moment, her Gem began to glow, her form pouring out in place as she came back.

Her new form wasn't as different; A dark yellow jacket with black shoulder pads and gold trimmings and buttons and a black open skirt, with dark yellow boots with a golden line around the base. Her hair had more of a curl to it than the spikey one he was used to seeing.

"Hey Yellow." Steven said awkwardly with a wave.

It took her a moment to get her surroundings, noticing Steven below her with Connie and Vivi.

"Oh hello Steven...uh...do mind you bringing me up to speed?"

Taking her back to the Leviathan, Steven and Yellow spoke with each other for a good hour, catching her up with the current situation. Like Blue, Yellow was impressed with Steven's dealing with everything so far including creating his own fleet.

"I would have the grandest set of ships ready...but they're all stuck in storage." She said.

Wait what?

"But that's another discussion for another time. Right now we need to find White Diamond."

That's true. But Steven had other issues to talk about.

"Yellow, the Purple Gem you saw before. Vivi? Did you get a good look at her Gem?"

Yellow rubbed her chin, sitting on her chair as she crossed her legs.

"I did on a passing glance. Cannot say I recognise the type." She revealed.

No...so...not even Yellow knew?

"Does she have a code?"

Steven shook his head.

"No." He replied.

"Both her and Celosia....and now Connie have these Gems no one seems to be able to identify. Maybe because of the way that they're made they could be an entirely new Gem? Is that possible?"

Yellow hummed, debating that very question.

"The way you described the incubation is absolutely deplorable. I made have help make the Cluster but using live subjects for experimentation? Unheard of. Firstly, there's simply nothing organics provide in the process in terms of the resources required."

Even Yellow has no idea. 

"Would White know?" Steven wondered.

The only Diamond left to save.

"Maybe. I'm not sure." She replied.

"Gem type, Gem quality...she's always been able to determine Gems on first glance. I know most Gems but some of the more unique ones like these? Usually have special directives required especially with their different builds. Special Directive Gems were more common under White's general command."

Like the Vivianites.

"But I know Pink had some in her Court too, but they weren't always the more concerning ones. I cannot say."

Bummer. The mystery itself had yet to be resolved. No matter, the answer had to be around somewhere; even if it did up being a Gem type that had never existed before hand, then Vivi could claim to be one of the first Gems created in recent times.

"Thanks anyway Yellow. I'm glad your back."

The fellow Diamond smiled.

"Thank you for saving me Steven. I'll try my best to abide by this campaign your running. Your first war is usually the most memorable. If you need any assistance, don't hesitate to ask."

* * *

With that, Yellow eventually caught up with Blue and began to work on different parts of the Fleet and dealing with the recently allied Emerald. It would take a while for trust to build; as she immediately began to apologise to Yellow being insubordinate.

Steven went to his room and laid down. He really needed a nap and to try to get todays events out of his mind so he could sleep peacefully. The knowledge of what he's seen himself do and what he could do was a bit scary, but it worked. Yellow was safe. Emerald had joined his side, reminding him a lot about Peridot....a thought trail that lead to thoughts of home and Diamond Suit Stevonnie asking him what he wanted for himself.

Only to hear noises on his bed. Opening his eyes, a lyrebird, a nightingale and a kookaburra stood on the end of his bed and on the left wall, was Stevonnie themselves, leaning back and apathetic, while they constantly flipped a coin.

"I'm sorry I'm really struggling to understand all this." Steven said to them.

Stevonnie didn't budge; still flipping the coin.

"Struggling to understand or struggling to find balance?" They questioned.

He looked at the birds before him. Again, a representative of things Steven knew.

"I buried my head under the darkness of the pillow and pretended it was night. I couldn't see the point of getting up. I had nothing to look forward to." They said, as Steven looked at the Lyrebird.

Then the Nightingale...

"There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth."

Then the Kookaburra....

"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."

He still didn't get it.....with Stevonnie pushing themselves against the wall and standing in front of Stevens bed. They unbuttoned the shirt, revealing their Gem....and summoning dozens of butterflies...that raised up into the air...and died, trickling into ants that began to crawl over Steven who began to panic, hyper ventilating all the while. He was afraid of something he couldn't see or comprehend, as the ants swallowed him whole. He turned pink, feeling like he was going to die until a dark hand reached out for him. His own tried to reach for it, straining and yearning for its tender touch to set him free and when it did it...flashes of orange, green and purple filtered through his head before it all turned dark.

* * *

Gasping for air, he shot up. Pressing a hand against his chest and feeling his rapid heartbeat, Steven recognised he had fallen asleep in Connie's Cage in the dock, lying on the cold ground with a blue blanket draped over him. It wasn't the most comfortable, but he figured he wanted to be there for her when she needed him. As he sat up, he could see Connie looking at him and for a split moment, he could see something flash in front of her...another Ghost Connie that was wearing his old red shirt...before she disappeared.

Sitting up, the pair had this ongoing, unconscious staring contest as he made slow movements, taking the blankets off of himself and getting up to walk towards her, reaching her face and caressing it, as she made low murmurs and odd purrs.

"Sorry Connie, I am going mad again." He admitted.

His focus was on her alone, making sure she got the care she needed, directing the God in her head and leaving her with the expectations of the love she always given and had received in her normal human life. He cared less for himself in the moments that turned him into a monster, much worse than he had been previously, just so Connie could find peace in normalcy...

So much so, that he would be forgiven for not noticing his Pink Leviathan standing right behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone surprised by Emerald joining?


	29. The Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven gets annoyed by secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays I've been having writers block so bad and I've been too mentally tired so sorry for the lack of updates and quality.

The following few days were spent with Emerald, as Steven, Blue and Yellow spoke about her involvement with the Rebellion at large. She was quite...reserved, shy in the presence of the Diamonds interrogating her and answered using the shortest amount of words she could. Steven had never seen this side of Emerald before; normally seeing her more confident and zealous and she had shrunken inwards. It made Steven think about how fervent, how..in awe and how people had feared the Diamonds. Emerald was one of those, like Aquamarine and Eyeball and all those who were steeped into the utmost belief and record of their rule. She had underestimated Steven greatly...and having fought to the point where Steven could have shattered her entirely, definitely reminded her of how powerful the Diamonds really were.

Even the Diamonds progress with how they treated Gems these days, there were still those imperfect signs that slipped through. Nothing too drastic, but Blue was a great mediator, making sure Yellow heeded some of the more relevant questions, but otherwise Emerald said that she would swear her allegiance to the Authority again if it meant they wouldn't kill her.

Steven couldn't help but feel pity for how she was on her knees, begging for forgiveness. Steven was the most calm out of the three, assuring her that she can make up for her crimes by working up the ranks like everyone else; with Yellow as her supervisor. Yellow took to residing in the Diamond Demeter, the yellow Frigate and took position as an Adviser alongside Emerald, whom, if she was successful in proving her loyalty, would allocate Emerald to another Frigate. Steven wasn't foolish enough to think that Emerald would get a Fleet straight away, but he wanted to give her a second chance.

Yellow explained Emeralds were just natural fleet leaders and they tended to be a bit arrogant in their positions and relished in taunting their enemies. Steven does have an Emerald as a Ship-Master on the Wings of Maheswaran; the green frigate and when recruiting, he recalled how she beamed, exuberant for the fact she got to be part of a Diamond's program and gave her utmost confidence towards Steven and his goals and looked forward to winning many battles.

Blue herself had relegated to the Cloud Rider; the Blue Ship and the Diamonds would communicate constantly over comms and their new goal was trying to find White Diamond.

According to Emerald, her role in the original Rebellion was based on a Prophecy by none other than Baseball. As the rules of Era 3 were announced, Emerald took her ship away, fearful of losing everything she had to represent who she was; ships were her life and she had been a decorated General for thousands of years. That was, until Sapphire introduced her to a benefactor.

The Benefactor had recruited many like Emerald; disillusioned and angered by the decisions the Diamonds had made regarding their entire race; their efforts left with no worth, their purposes; no longer required in an era of so called, peace. Emerald never personally met the benefactor, their voice distorted and only seeing a dark head through comms. Baseball said that they did this all the time to all of their agents and promised that Era 3 would be cut short and Era 4 would see a new group of rulers to continue on where the Diamonds had left off.

So on their Benefactors behalf, Pink Sapphire had been trying to recruit names whom had a horrible history with the Crystal Gems....Blue surmised that their method was solid and was saddened by the prospect that they couldn't take care of enough gems.

With the information Emerald provided, it had Steven contemplate on this Benefactor and while speaking with Vivi and Celosia a few days later as they caught up in the meeting room, as Celosia affirmed his beliefs that the Benefactor couldn't be anyone else other than Dr. Schwarz.

"Even after we find White, we still need to do something about the Dean." Said Vivi.

"I doubt the local authorities seeing an alien ship storming a school is going to be seen as a good look."

An issue they had discussed prior, known to them. He wished he could have Connie here; she would know what to do.

"We'll leave her for last." Steven told them.

Not to mention White was the last resort in knowledge regarding Dr. Schwarz and these....Gems. There had to be something and Steven knew it. He contemplated hard but couldn't come up with anything. Local authorities would think they're crazy and the Dean was a popular person from what Connie had told him before.

"Our focus should be on White for now. Then we'll figure out how to deal with the Dean."

Vivi gave Steven a salute.

"On it, I'll go check up on Connie. We'll go back to tracking her down oh Great Admiral!" She said with purpose...or she was probably ribbing him as she normally would, but she was often serious in that instance. 

As she walked away, Steven noticed Celosia standing there, her hands in front of her as it looked like she had something to say. His attitude to her normally had her withdrawn, but in this case, he'd rather her speak her mind for once.

"What's up Celosia?"

She looked to the side, appearing rather anxious, before looking at Vivi.

"I need to continue the research into our gem types." She requested.

Something that had been on the agenda for a while and information provided by Gem databases didn't prove anything and even Blue and Yellow couldn't figure it out. Steven permitted limited access with Cubedot supervising to see if she could use anything that might assist in this mystery.

"Each Gem was originally designed for a specific purpose right?" 

Steven nodded. 

"So you know I've been trying to find our Gems characteristics instead of trying to find Gem types. For example, between myself and Vivi, are similarities are with Gem shape...and thanks to being able to look at Connie, who has the same square like shape. In other searches I've gone and discovered, I've been matching it up with common designs, even Earth comparisons. Both physical and spiritual."  
  
Her hunt for some kind of truth was something he was thankful for her for. 

"What do you mean by spiritual?" Steven wondered.

A weird thing to research, but he let her continue.

"Normal earth constructed jewels are a popular asset to have in terms of value. Visual value and also their overall meaning to those who delve into metaphysical side of it all."

Vivi liked to talk about spiritual things, more than you would expect of her like would, going from their....intriguing discussion about the supposed God inside of everyone that drove their actions. Steven wasn't sciency and was trying so hard to follow.

"Any luck?" He asked....because he had to.

Celosia rubbed her arm.

"Kind of? It's hard to say that Gems of our own accord only have physical similarities and the tracking power is unique to our Gems. We might be a new Gem type after all. As for the metaphysical side of it, there's a few Gems I'm perhaps assuming to be kind of close; after all but nothing concrete. I may need to contact someone on Earth, however."

A suggestion Yellow made as well. That could be the truth. As for trying to touch base with a specific individual? Steven wasn't so sure. He was attempting to place faith, but there was this niche that prevented that lock and key from being certified.

"Hmm that still doesn't explain why you were made." Steven stated.

"Emerald kept going on about a prediction...and Bluebird was talking about getting rid of the Diamonds with the intention of introducing Era 4. Did Dr. Schwarz not tell you anything?"

One of the reason Steven kept Celosia at arms length wasn't just because of what she did to Connie, but also having worked with the enemy and kept secreting revelations bit by bit. She was scared that Dr. Schwarz was going to find out and she was completely safe on the ship. So what was the problem?

"Dr. Schwarz...she's...a hard case to follow."

That wasn't helping. Steven had to be patient with Four Square but they didn't have to hide everything.

"Try me." Steven dared.

The Orange Gem sighed as she looked extremely uncomfortable; as if that Dr. Schwarz was a definite sore spot, more than Steven realised.

"I wasn't in the Organisation originally. From what the original Celosia can reflect on, I...she was in the same position as Vivi and Connie. We went to Jayhawk and got to speak to the Dean personally. I never met any other gems besides the Pink Sapphire. There were so few humans too...."

And the whole ordeal with the human becoming a gem thing? He wasn't going to ask but if it helped...

"Tell me about the emergence." He asked.

A shiver went down her spine...definitely a topic she clearly did not wish to speak about.

"Pain. A lot if it. That's all I can say really. Sorry."

It frustrated Steven to no end. He could only see why she didn't want Connie to suffer the same fate. Vivi not mentioning it was odd, but if Celosias reaction to the topic was anything, he would have to claim that she either didn't remember or she didn't want to talk about it either.

"But...I think if we do find White. I have a distinct feeling she'll know for sure, but just in case...there is someone who will help us."

Would she? Since Blue and Yellow had no clue, White was their last resort.

"I...appreciate your input." Steven acknowledged, trying to use the nicest words possible, despite his disdain from her purposefully withholding info.

"Who is it that you need to speak with on Earth?"

She straightened her back and tried to appear professional in her manner, but Steven wasn't fooled.

"A Scientist." She said.

"You may know her."

Steven raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the table and crossed his arms, trying to think of any scientists he'd come across recently.

"Or better yet, Vivi knows her..."

Wait.

"You're talking about...her mom? Miranda?" He said.

Celosia nodded. Last thing Steven recalled was her being taken in by the police for reasons unknown. Although, Steven ravaged his thoughts, scrambling to connect the dots. Miranda adopted Vivi into her family and she mentioned knowing what Gems are and had been attempting to figure out the same dilemma.

"What does she have to do with this, anyway?" Steven wondered.

Celosia bit her lip.

"Miranda was working on a visa as a teacher at Jayhawk long ago." She said.

"She..was the one who took Vivi back to Australia with her after her....emergence."

So she had to have known the Dean then. But from what Steven remembered from their conversation, Miranda claimed that Vivi was left on her doorstep...so...she lied? Or it was just some kind of weird metaphor.

So If the police were after her....

"She's currently unaccounted for." Steven said.

"We had to leave her home when the police arrived...I feel awful for leaving her there with them."

Celosia frowned.

"Comes with a shady past....as well as being the one who helped the Dean create me...."

Say again?

"What? No way...Miranda would..."

Celosia appeared more withdrawn as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"It's a messy history...if the cops got her, then her patchy past is beginning to catch up." She said.

"I only heard about her taking Vivi with her shortly after her creation. For what reason she would jump the country would mean she was trying to get as far away from Jayhawk as possible."

This was messed up. The Dean worked with Miranda to create Celosia....Celosia helped the Dean create Vivi and then...

"Vivi was helping her to...get Connie..." Steven said, distraught over the fact as the anger began to boil within.

"But Vivi..."

Celosia sighed.

"I don't think Vivi meant to do it consciously." She said.

"Dr. Schwarz has a special way to manipulate people behind the scenes. She did it to me and so she must have done it to Vivi as well. How, honestly don't want to know. But please don't blame Vivi; it's most likely she's unaware of what she was doing."

No. Steven could trust Vivi. She was vulgar but Steven valued her honesty, her integrity and her interest in philosophy as it definitely had him thinking a great deal over the last several months after everything was going on.

"So what do you need Miranda for?" He wondered, rubbing his forehead.

And whether she had been fully aware of what she was doing in committing such atrocities.

"Miranda was looking into this issue but kept hitting roadblocks, just like me." Celosia explained.

"A way to undermine the Deans efforts and get her to stop what she's doing before she causes more harm."

But ultimately Steven was unsure. He had this distinct feeling that Celosia was still hiding information, but still kept hiding things. At the behest of Steven's confusion, it was more concrete especially as she did hide her status as a Gem until recently and he couldn't justify her reasoning as, that the Dean would somehow find out.

"Despite what Miranda did, you still require her help?" He asked....something he had begin to feel like he was repeating himself and Celosia kept dodging it.

He had to have been the position many times before. To stop fights by allying and cease firing with his enemies. Miranda did appear amicable enough so it was really hard to say who was telling the truth...which, unlike how many stars there were in existence right now, there was a distinct lack of.

"If we're going to find out what Gems we are, her expertise is something we can use." Celosia told him.

"I mean it takes time and effort and with the three of us I'm sure we'll get an answer."

But weren't they going use White for that? Although if Miranda worked on this, then he might need Jasper's interrogation to weasel the answers out. He didn't want to, but Steven was sick of people lying to him all the time. A unpleasant road once travelled, not wanted any more than he had to admit. He had to make another choice there and then...not necessarily one she would be happy with.

"I'll need to consult a few people before I can think about sending you to Earth." Steven said.

"Request denied, but I will get back to you once we can determine our next course of action....and I don't want any pleas otherwise...I'm not gonna make any promises or compromises to the mission."

He'll think about it for sure. But he needed to get the story straight before they could go any further. Celosia wasn't pissed off by the decline, but was quite humble...bowing her head and walking out of the room. 

What else did she know?

* * *

A few hours later he'd come to Connie again during his spare time. Consultation required speaking with Blue and Yellow about it and getting their opinions...although, he was even hesitant to speak to them since this matter was too human for them...would they even begin to be willing to become involved with human affairs. Usually it was the other way around.

He wondered and thought about speaking to Vivi about her mom...and he was fearful of her reaction more so than anything; accusing the mother that raised her that she had committed horrendous acts. She'd been through enough. But it begged the question.

When it was enough for Steven to begin to struggle to sleep again. Ceilings that were pink were mixed with those of wood; dreams of being in the Beach House again. He tried his therapists suggestion of ASMR which did help a little bit. Sounds of the oceans wave that he used to be able to rest to. A muffled lullaby.

Right now, he laid down on the ground in the docks, peering upwards at the tallest ceiling he'd ever have to rest under, a hand laying on his forehead aimlessly. Connie sat there, staring at him. Her Ghost, her God, what was left of it, standing there. Looking down with zero expression and zero comments. It was the one with the old salmon pink star shirt; her eyes the judgement on his being for what ever came next.

Memories of Baseball being the innocent one on the surface and the monster on the inside. Connie was the opposite; monster on the outside...innocent one on the inside. She did nothing wrong.

Vivi herself was busy using her power to search for White; sitting nearby with her legs crossed, eyes closed like she was meditating. Another solution he's tried...but he had no patience right now. Forcing himself to do so would contradict the purpose of the motion, when he was unable to get a piece of a peace of mind for himself. 

He was....again, tired, annoyed and on the edge of running himself to the bone. Conspiracies running so deep and it wasn't the Diamonds this time. It was a human, dipping themselves into a mess and causing all this chaos.

And for what?

Closing his eyes, he wasn't sure what path to take. Falling asleep or using his Diamond Aura to track White himself...their common thread their controversy.

It ended up being some fusion of sleep and meditation and what ever crazy visions his mind or his Gem decided to give him. Darkness his ally, faring the world temporarily for this small escape for no other purpose but to find clarity.

Opening his eyes, he found himself with somewhere he had never been...a grey roof, small room with fluorescent lights. Was it grey or a very obscure shade of green?

Sitting up, he was laying on a black couch. Tilting his head he could see Connie with an unfamiliar woman; wearing all black except for the white blouse underneath her black cardigan. Her face was rather thin and her curly blonde hair in a tight bun. There was something about her ominous black eyes cradled by red frames that rubbed Steven the wrong way and even her smile was all wrong.

"Thank you for accepting the scholarship Connie! It's an honour to have you here." She said, her tone but an attempt to flatter Connie, but there was a hidden inflection that was like an itch Steven couldn't scratch.

"I should be thanking you for the honour of being here!" Connie said a response...it's been a long while since he heard her voice in such a cheery manner...and reminded him always to what he was fighting for...his heart selfishly taking her as a priority over the rebellion, if Steven was truly honest...and wasn't sure if he should be disgusted in himself for feeling that way.

He'd gotten up and looked around the room; seeing the dozen certificates in frames on the wall behind Dr. Schwarz in pattern Steven had sworn he had recognised from somewhere.

"And I should be thanking you for being here.... _Steven_."

He froze...noticing that Connie had since disappeared...leaving Dr. Schwarz sitting there; her gaze upon him now. A sight which gave a striking pierce of anxiety like nothing else ever had. No...this had to be a memory surely. He was used to diving in the Aura Realm to find the truth in his dreams but...somehow she was here...but she wasn't? How was this possible?

"Take a seat."

He couldn't believe this. Was this...real?

No. He wasn't going to submit to this. There was no sense of backing out unless he was able to find a type of truth to the uncertainty dwelling his heart.

"How are you..." He questioned, standing back close to the wall. He didn't want to be near her for fear of more trickery. 

Instant chills filtered throughout. Here was still, but the dread was everywhere, in every sequence and artificial nature of this imaginary room.

"I must implore you to have a seat Mr. Universe."

She had no power over him. He would be accustomed to be civil by default, but the centre of his centralised rage and the main issue at hand was right in front of him, leaving over her mahogany desk with her fingers locking together with that sweet hiding poisoning smile that would warm the hearts of the unaware but Steven could see right through her.

"I prefer to stand if I can." He replied, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. Being stoic and neutral, as well keeping his tone as such proved difficult. Pretending to be amicable with others in the past proved to be a lot easier than this.

Dr. Schwarz sat back, relaxing as she crossed her legs.

"Suit yourself." she said, before getting a cigarette out and lighting it. He watched it as it dangled between her middle and index fingers and put it into her mouth, making inhales before exhaling, Steven seeing her slight smirk through the curling smoke.

"I know what you're after. I figured the two of us were never going to meet properly. After all the drama with your mother I had hoped to meet you directly. Circumstances, obviously made a proper meeting a little more...difficult."

Dr. Petunia Schwarz. Dean of Jayhawk. Presumed Benefactor and pushed through for the creations of Celosias, Vivis and Connie's Gems...

"Good then you know what I'm going to ask." Steven stated with a trickle disdain.

"Where's White Diamond?"

Another inhale.

"White is....safe." She replied, her tone not wavering.

"Safe from the Diamond child that corrupted her dreams....and my own."

What was she talking about?

"Says the one who's in the middle of my girlfriends head." Steven berated.

And he was going to defend, no matter the cost. She eventually got up and raised her hands, summoning multiple screens that circled around them. Steven looked at each; demonstrating parts of Connie's life. The day they met...and Gem incidents up until the previous incident. Schwarz was leaving no stone unturned.

"Connie Maheswaran. Totally normal human...only for her to be just corrupted as any Gem. Not just in body, but in mind and spirit. You did this to her, Mr. Universe."

Only because he had no choice. Let her Gem self kill her physical form or...

"It was better this way." Steven said, his voice low.

"I know what you did to Celosia and Vivi...and it's...it's.. _.sick_..."

He didn't even want to imagine the amount of agony that Celosia and Vivi went through. From what Steven had observed and discovered so far, for sure, he did not want Connie to suffer but in the end she would suffer either way; loss of mind or loss of self entirely. A tragic decision.

A controversial decision.

"For the betterment of discovery and evolution of mankind." Dr. Schwarz said.

"We must push forward. Always."

Steven shook his head....her methods, obviously questionable.

"By incubating Gems inside human beings? That's not evolution...that's murder!" He cried.

Semantics not-withstanding, Steven's knowledge of sciences were snippets from Pearl and Connie, even then, you didn't have to have to know how to even think that this was incredibly awful to commit. Crimes against both species was what it was.

"I'm only steering the course Mr. Universe." She continued.

"For you know, that it took a lot of trial and error with Celosia and Vivi and assistance from different fronts to determine the paths necessary to continue on the path made for me; the fact you exist proves another method can be done without the loss of self and is currently being researched. The light was not your own yet you see it as yours. I owe that all to you."

Even then, Steven wouldn't want that thrust on anyone, let alone the amount of effort it took for Steven to understand his own existence.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

The grin was minor, but spoke on the major of her intent with such a soft expression. She reminded him way too much of Sandra whom had a similar look, but she was at least very genuine.

"For years I have gathered enough data and resources for the sole purpose of shifting humanity in the direction it needs to take. Your existence hold a new take on the matter as was followed by the suggestions of one Pink Sapphire."

Baseball...another one Steven had to catch up with. There was no orange cloud of doubt in his head about how much damage one Sapphire could really do.

"She's very vocal about the premise of the Pink Diamond Gem and its holders; its power to create or destroy very much godlike. But the holders have always been immature children in mind that have anger management issues. Why would you have someone not so sound in mind to control such a power?"

It's not like he wanted it. Yes there were problems and they have caused him grief...time and patience and insight have taught Steven that it was his Gem and it will forever be a part of him...so he had to learn to live with it.

"I was born like this." Steven told her, his voice low and calm on top of the fire underneath his tongue.

"I won't lie and saying it's been easy; because its definitely not. But it's a fact of my life that I am me and the me I am will always be subject to change."

As was the point of being half human.

" _You_ are forcing s-such a drastic change _without_ consent."

She lifted her head, clicking her fingers to show the streams of a dark magenta world in flames...his leviathan clear in view as Connie stood before it, her form waning as fatigue caught up with her.

"Change doesn't always need or want consent." Schwarz claimed.

"It happens whether you like it or not...all you can really do is _direct_ change...shape it. But you made no such effort in directing Connie's change way in a meaningful way. I mean, did she _want_ to be corrupted?'

No. No he didn't. The screens displayed the moment he injected her with the concentrate.

"Why didn't you ask her?"

Steven wished he could and it wasn't exactly an easy choice to make either. The screens suddenly changed to Connie deteriorating; the silence, the fainting...the lack of energy she used to be able to expend on a daily basis. Right now he still felt awful from doing it...because if anyone was so going to do it, it had to be Steven.

"Your actions prove you to be not as heroic as Gems make you seem. You find the devil in the detail and the angel in the big picture. Now you lead an Armada to war with the intention of quashing those who don't abide by your rules. Wasn't your mother fighting against such a concept against her?"

The thought had come to him more times than he would like to admit and he wasn't exactly enthused with the comparison, his form growing taller unconsciously as his hair began to expand and turn into a shade of pink as he heard Connie's screams from her transformation...a sight he could never wipe from his memories. He had to be careful...and logical.

"The Rebellion poofed the Diamonds and are just..."

"Using them as tools?" She cut in.  
"Does that not sound familiar to you Mr. Universe?"

Tools...Gems...all of a sudden Steven could hear a faint buzzing sound that was driving him mad as he grasped his head and dug his fingers into his scalp.

"I'm sure you're aware of the premise of irony. Gems not so much." She continued, her face cradled by the essence of burnt tobacco.

"Blue and Yellow being used as power sources...their energy is practically near infinite."

So she was purposefully doing this to get back at the Diamonds then? She then finished off the rest of her cigarette and dug the butt into the nearby white squarish ash tray.

"However, they were expendable...and now that my goal is nearing completion I need to start cleaning up loose ends and claim which is mine."

The world began to distort and glitch with intersections of an ethereal world of grey, with smoke curling everywhere.

"As for you...you teeter on the sides of the self."

What ever trickery the Dean had, she was welcome to try...Steven was prepared to fight off anything, being through the zany and the bizarre many times before; he honestly just wanted her out of Connie's head, using visuals to taunt Steven and to break him, his overall idea of them getting to Connie to get to Steven was a theory as well and right now she was somehow manipulating the scenes from behind the shadows. In what way but using Gems to do her dirty work. Again. The distortion kept going, but then she showed off two screens, portrait wise by each side of her, floating there with the left screen showing a lion with lightest pink fur and another with the darkest pink fur.

"Inside of you there are two lions. One of the Lions is mean and evil. The other Lion is good. The mean Lion fights the good Lion all the time. When asked which Lion wins..."

Steven stood back, totally puzzled by what Schwarz was trying to do, but there was a point where Steven's patience these days would be waning faster than usual. Plus he wasn't in the mood for people wasting his time right now.

"Yeah enough with the metaphors and riddles and just tell me where White is." He ordered, sounding drained and annoyed.

Dr. Schwarz made a sinister laugh.

"The Pink Sapphire said finding White would be inevitable if you can figure out the next riddle in your own time." She said.

A giant screen appeared in front of him, larger than the others as it had an image of Connie wearing her space suit....but behind her was a dark green backdrop, pleading and panicking as she whacked her hand against the screen. The mood shifted, as Steven went from zero to panic in the space of a few seconds, his heart racing at Connie's urgency.

"I'm stuck Steven!" She cried, her voice muffled.

How the....no...she was just playing tricks on him...none of this was real.

"What good are wings when you are...stuck in cage." Schwarz taunted.

~~WHY IS HE~~

~~WHY IS SHE IN THE CAGE?~~

Flashes of her screams intersected of Connie lying on the bed, on her back...and flashing to her on her stomach and crying into her pillow and the sound he dreaded to hear the most.

Distortion. Static.

I HAD TO BE SOMEWHERE, I HAVE TO BE SOMEONE

A ticking clock.

_It ticks, it tocks..._

Connie's creature, her...corrupted form standing behind ~~Wrath~~ who kept crying out and pleading for Steven to free her. Tears ran down his face without him knowing, a single drop falling to the floor...before the creature, the ~~Ziz~~ , the ~~Hagraven~~ picked her up between her claws and no matter how much ~~Wrath~~ thrashed about and screamed...but she was stuck behind the glass...the supposed cage that Steven couldn't even break through and could only watch in horror as Wrath was consumed by the creature...leaving Steven torn up as he wept and hands left sliding down the screen, feeling hopeless.

Was this what she wanted? For him to feel nothing but the despair of seeing her consumed by pain that comes with being a Gem? Surely. No matter what she might point out, she started this. She lead Connie down the road to this unforgiving act...that the sheer desire for vengeance fuelled his form...until there was nothing but darkness of the void in its place and Schwarz's words echoing across.

"Tick tock Mr. Universe. Tell Celosia I said hello."

* * *

He was met with the null nothingness before heard the alarms were set off, the room going absolutely chaotic with the sirens and blaring flashes of red lights. Sitting up, he noticed Connie and her Ghost/God/ ~~Greed~~ standing there, fizzling in and out with bad reception. Did Connie know what was going on? He stared at her aimlessly in wonder for an unknown amount of time, before jumping as Vivi landed her hand on his shoulder.

"Stevo the fleet is under attack again!" She called out.

Words that should have sent him back to reality but he was still in the daze, unsure of Dr. Schwarz's true aim. He trusted others to bring him back but he knew one day that he would have to do that on his own...and even saying that he saw her, would sooner spread panic, so he decided to keep that encounter to himself for now.

Heading back up to the bridge, he communicated with Jasper and Volley, as well as Blue and Yellow on their Frigates, their Diamond shaped comms popped up before his chair. He sat down to filter out what the stars was going on.

"Status report." He demanded.

The sound of the beeps did not rescind. This sounded worse than the last attack, which served have Steven feel the tension rise to his shoulders, almost causing him to go stiff.

"We've engaged with several hundred ships." Jasper said as she stood by Steven's side.

"They didn't even come out on our slipspace radars." Cubedot complained.

Popping up the scans, they weren't wrong. Getting their designs were a series of sharpened, shiny black ships and a massive carrier that had the smaller ones coming in and out. 

"Anyone trying to contact their Commander?" He asked.

"We've been trying to request their leader, but we've been getting no response." Said Yellow over the comms.

"I recommend that we simply destroy them."

Refusal to communicate? He'd like clarification from Emerald herself to ask if she knew what this was. The small ships were speedy as Steven commanded his to track down to eliminate each one. Yellow took care of that, directing the fleet in his stead. Steeling himself, Steven took immediate control of the situation as it flowed. He grew the idea of using Vivi to try and identify the commander, having her with Connie as Steven tried to lull on what Schwarz was trying to tell him, sitting there, eyes closed as her words repeated in his brain....

_What good are wings, when you're stuck in a cage?_

And the constant nagging ways she liked to bleed out his guilt, the creatures within and outside on the surface. Taking control was difficult, but he aimed to make sure Schwarz would pay for what she had done. But so many had been involved...not just Gems but humans...and the secrets Celosia held just made him distrust her even more. 

Communication here was key, Vivi identified that none of the ships filtering out of the carrier were being controlled remotely. Upon that revelation, Yellow immediately recognised the design as one of the old carriers she had in storage and the tiny ships as interceptors. Originally yellow, this one had been painted black overall as well as its interceptors. Emerald also came into the conversation, revealing that the Carriers were normally managed by Emeralds too, but had never seen this particular carrier before.

The chatter was informative as the Gems worked together to figure out this mystery Gem. Constant comm attempts were made, much to the frustration of Steven who stood up, inhaling.

"I'm going in." He said.

"Jasper, you know what to do. Volleyball, assist."


	30. The Carrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven infiltrates the Dark Carrier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven devolving into his role is very concerning.

Would people stop him? No. They would sooner get out of their Admirals way as he stomped through the Leviathans hallways to get himself organised. Whom ever was in the Dark Carrier and commanding those Interceptors, was gonna get a fistful from Steven. Back in the day he loved robots but the naivety was washed away in the unending stresses of his life. Steven was done playing games. The picture of Dr. Schwarz in his head made him angry. The fact she was using Connie, directing Connie and hurt her in ways that called to the intent of deception. He thought the Diamonds were bad.

Accepting his role in all in it all became easier when he had focus. Focus to put on his space gear and respective helmet and leaving the ship without a second word. The focus improved as there was no one to tell him what to do. No one to tell him what he was doing was wrong. Controversial, but tough decisions that no one wanted him to enact but rather needing the action to be put into place. Using a Roaming Eye, he navigated past ships and interceptors as he travelled his way through the chaos to find an entrance. The Carrier itself was absolutely gigantic...bigger than Steven anticipated. A series of blue lights dotted its mostly round design and getting into docking bay was hard due to the fact that his overall reception in trying to infiltrate was being barred by oncoming interceptors. He called out to his Gems and ordered to try and keep them at bay.

Eventually after a lot dodging and weaving, he found an open spot on the side. A large square cut out that had multiple Gems in black suits fire at the ship. It did little to dissuade Steven; stripped of his gear and who left the ship in his Perfect Diamond Form as he liked it call it. Raising his bubble as he made the calm walk across the Carrier Docks, examining the lifeless steel and chrome based environment. Sterile, cold...the chill of the one who leaded it, he imagined. Some Gems attempted to attack him with melee weapons like axes and spears and the like. Steven by this point didn't think it was worth the effort in using his power; using his form to strike intimidation into those smart enough to stay away. A single Gem tried to approach him with a polearm, large enough to be identified as a Topaz going from the design of their spacesuits. His form was tall enough now to look down on them, his eyes half lidded and the dark circles under his eyes. Was this Gem, this one Rebel believe it was able to take him down?

He would prefer not to resort to violence if he could help it; preferring not to combat those who did need but a little nudge in the right direction. Too many Gems and too little time to persuade them to their side. He wondered if true peace could ever be maintained, a thought scratched at his mind, leaving scars that set reminders of all that, which he had to endure.

The Topaz quivered and they were normally an unflappable Gem type. Steven wasn't doing anything else, but using his Diamond Eyes to look down at them for the moments. It wasn't until he began to raise his hand that the Topaz simply dropped their weapon and ran off. Part of Steven was glad they could at least see some sense.

Walking through the Carrier unimpeded however...made Steven very suspicious. The general hum of the machinery around him and all the hallways were not exactly well lit. He spoke with Jasper on his comms to let them know where he was.

"Jasper, I've infiltrated the ship." He told her.

"What's the..."

The lights suddenly went out as the electronics suddenly shut down. Pressing on his intercom device multiple times, he was met with no noise at all. Something was up.

He cautiously continued his tread, looking to find the bridge so he could have a personal meeting with the Captain. However, he felt the chill increase, the atmosphere intensifying as what little light came from the lights on the railing floor, blinking in a way that Steven could swear was actually trying to lead him somewhere. Fear had to be put aside to suss out the uncertainty, following this formulated path around the Carrier. Eyes shifting left to right, right to left as he kept a close watch of his surroundings for any sign of trickery.

" _Steven.._."

Spinning around to the noise that called out his name...it sounded familiar.

" _Steven...._ "

Voices that he knew. Whispering his name as if they were near, but those...some of them were still on Earth...

" _Steven..._ "

He wasn't going to be fooled by the trick of the mind again. No doubt that this one, most likely a Gem, was gauging something, attempting to get Steven's anxiety to skyrocket.

"I know you're here." He said, continuing his trek unabated.

It was then he came across a door. He assumed the power had gone to its reserves. Unlikely by accident either. What ever was doing this was definitely doing it on purpose. These giant navy iron doors were meant to open automatically, so Steven nudged his fingers in between and grunted as he used his strength to force them open within moments. Going from the series of monitors with a monochrome blue Rebellion symbol on each, this had to be the bridge for sure.

Looking at each of the monitors, they began to glitch and distort at infrequent intervals...and occasionally, the Diamond Symbol with the big cross would be replaced with four basic squares in a cube formation.

_The era of the Diamonds you see, are no more. We'll properly introduce Era 4 very, very soon._

Bluebirds words muttered in his head again. Symbols...symbols, symbols and this was what it was about. She was telling him about the end and he didn't take it seriously enough. He knows the Leviathan is pain, the butterflies are guilt and the ants were trauma...and the way the colours of the world demonstrating cornerstones of things that should have been obvious to him until now.

A series of stairs lit up with the lights on each step, followed by footsteps and the clack of heels. Turning behind him, he saw someone whom he knew as definitely back on the ship. Shirt curly hair black, Skin dark...eyes black and yet, lips were white and the strapless dress she wore was black with a white strip across the chest, followed by the Square Cube emblem in the middle of her cleavage...with each of the squares now coloured in. Black top left, purple top right. Orange bottom left and Green bottom right.

Elbow long black silky gloves with a hand that held onto the rail as the body descended it.

"Connie..." He muttered. Steven shook his head. That wasn't her.

"What...who are you?"

The Connie mimic chuckled.

"I found my light years ago." She said...even sounding like Connie.

"By getting into peoples heads and getting them to do things that may or may not have been in their best interest."

The fact that this Connie did not have the Gem on her left arm was enough to know this wasn't her at all. 

"Aeons ago I was formed from light. Used as a tool by none other than White Diamond herself to spy on the Earth. Then forgotten."

Oh geez this is just like Spinel all over again. She then shapeshifted from Connie to a Darker version of Rose Quartz.

"The original Rebellion." She said, using Rose's pitch and tone.

"White knew that Pink was playing her silly game and refrained to let Blue and Yellow know she was playing it. Because I was her go to Gem for such matters...and the cruelty imagined with what Pink treasured most of all was going to be used against her."

She then transformed into White Diamond with a black version of her normal dress and obviously a lot smaller.

"The pain, the agony...that Celosia and Vivi had gone through...I know it all too well. Conventionally"

And the last transformation was none other than Dr. Petunia Schwarz, wearing a black body suit with the Square Symbol on her chest, causing Steven to gasp.

"You...you're a Gem?" He said with complete disbelief.

Although the more he thought about it, the vision he received made a lot more sense. Her power, however....she raised her arms and smirked.

"Dean of Jayhawk, Leader of the Organisation; Spurner of the Rebellion. Herald of Era Four." She claimed, brushing her curly blonde hair out of her face.

"Part time magician, what have you..."

He could see multiple Connie's spawn in at once and out of nowhere, wearing the same dress as the approached him, resting their hands on his body as the looked up with pleading in their eyes and constantly calling out his name as it began to freak him out. Steven looked at them, crying and begging for his attention and for him to save her. No. This wasn't the Connie in his eyes, not by a long shot, but the fact these...were illusions did nothing to sway his previous steadfast declaration to not be phased. The very image of Connie, real or not, drove more and more daggers into his heart, his resolve his only shield to prevent them from going in too deeply as he pushed them away as they disappeared into clouds of darkness. Breathing heavily, he growled, forming fists as he glared at Dr. Schwarz.

"But you...the formation of rage and hatred. White used to warn me about your mothers temper and so I merely observed from the sidelines. Right now it feels like..."

An image of Pink Diamond stood before him...black and white with the grey strings marking out her eyes.

"She's standing right in front of me."

Steven swatted the image away...but it was a wall dedicated to rebirth of much to rise before him....like the walls he used to make; only black and slightly opaque. The abstract feeling of loneliness but returned to him, her voice not felt among the chilling echoes of the Carrier Bridge. The monitors behind him turned off, as he was distracted by the sharp crackles and sparks that quickly went on behind him.

Hollow...until he heard Connie's voice...crystal clear against everything else.

" _Once I got home...I cried._ "

No light to show Steven's position as he attempted to walk around his way.

" _Seeing the Gem pulled out of him and I was so helpless, useless...and the joy of reuniting him with his Gem was nothing like I had ever felt...the sight of the embrace was such wonderful thing to behold. White and I were the only ones to see it...and yet, no one ever commented on it_."

Hang on....

" _You would have only so few to discuss what really happened out there but so much had gone so fast in the way he was handling things. But the look of desperation as he laid there, close to death...terrified me and I've never been able to rid myself of that sight ever since._ "

No...these were Connie's thoughts...but how...

" _But he came back. Went on to...fixing things. That was what he did best...and the reasons why were meant to be born of his adoration of life but I can't help but wonder. Ever since he left Earth to live with the Diamonds to be a Diamond. Everyone knew something was wrong and did nothing._ "

Steven had the idea but perhaps...at that moment, his state of mind convinced him that the angle to take was to be useful elsewhere. He had no place on Earth and even now...he felt so disconnected from it after spending months in space.

" _But what could I do? The feeling of being a Crystal Gem waned and focusing on what I could do with my life took priority. Took what skills I had and thought I would be able to translate them into a functional human in society. But the orange clouds of doubt, never went away._ "

A spotlight appeared, showing Connie in the dress again.

" _His transformation...it was never instant. It was gradual. Stewing there for goodness knows how long; understanding that he kept everything buried. That was before you considered half the universe loves him and half the universe hates him. The burden was both placed on him by everyone and himself. Truthfully, the only one who was able to guide him, was Steven. Neither just human or a Gem. He just is._ "

Not true. He's been guided by many. His Dad, the Gems...Connie herself.

" _As for me....I'm simply the one in the background who happens to love him like most and to call out to those who were too blind...._ "

She raised her head...the grey strings were on her eyes now...and the skin itself grew the magenta lines.

" _And the harm done to me...was little compared to what he had gone through._ "

Steven ran towards her and had to kneel down to her height and rested his hands on her shoulder, the realisation that she had her own burdens was something he'd been having suspicions of for a good while. Moments where she would flash a smile...he knew masks after wearing one for so long himself.

"No...your pain is valid Connie." He said.

"You were never in the background...I..."

Tears dropped from his face at a rapid rate, the anguish at Connie's own sacrifices becoming too much to bare. The butterflies, once bright, were dark with the darkest blue glow around the form as they fluttered around him.

"You wanted your own life but ended up picking up the pieces of mine instead. Th-that...shouldn't have happened."

A broken mind restored through Connie's sheer determination in curing his Corruption...at the risk of her own humanity in the process and urged by the Diamonds, who, really, only wanted Steven back...perhaps, looking at saving Connie because Steven demanded them to. Deep down, he knew the Diamonds would only oblige to respect humans and other organics. They would never be able to change their true selves; stuck in their age old ways.

Connie soon crumbled into black sparkling bits of dusts that flew off in the unseen winds....

Losing her to the corruption more so broke Steven more than he'd like to admit...a task on his hands as he saw the dust suddenly appear in the palms of his hands.

"You feel its necessary to forever hold the guilt around you..." Said Schwarz as the black butterflies rested on his shoulders.

"You see...the true power of our kind is meant to be those with the knack of sussing out secrets...while keeping our own."

And she had been White's secret spy while the original rebellion was happening...Steven wasn't sure what to feel or believe or discern as the truth...letting the dust in his hands go.

"White, however...believed she held all the power in knowing what others didn't. In some circumstances that is a legitimate method for acquisition. Its whom to tell this knowledge to and whom not to is the challenge. Right information can't fall into the wrong hands."

For what reasons?

"Right information must also be distributed in a timely manner, otherwise it's useless."

Useless...like how Connie had begun to feel towards the end. Withholding it from Steven about how she really felt but for what reason? She could have told him anything without fear and yet...did she not wish for him to know this because of how he would react?

Useless...like how Steven felt in his younger years. Reaching out to those he loved and treasured and wanted to be with for the....reason...

_Oh no..._

Diamond Suit Steven suddenly appeared before him again.

"You would be losing your mind over information you didn't even know you had." He said.

"You accept the pain of your Leviathan. But here I am, your Gatekeeper. Still offering the secrets...only to disperse them at the moment they're meant to."

No...not this again....

"What am I supposed to know?" The real Steven cried.

It was then...normal black shirt Steven with the pink jacket appeared. His default appearance.

"You know you're not supposed to be like this." He said.

"Steven Universe isn't a Warmonger."

No. He wasn't.

...then salmon pink Steven...his younger self emerged as well next to the Gatekeeper.

"Steven Universe doesn't hurt people."

Steven shook his head. He was sick to death about hearing about his own, irrelevant concerns about himself. 

"NO THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME!" He cried, digging his fingers into his scalp.

Blue shirt Steven appeared as thus.

"But you keep thinking about your Happily Ever After." He said.

No...he wasn't.

"THIS...this is about...." Admiral Steven tried to spurt out, but the pressure was like sticking sharp spikes into his brain that eventually caused his form to destabilise, electricity crackling throughout his body as it went in between his normal form, his pink state and Perfect Diamond State consistently.

The Gatekeeper lifted his head. 

"What is this about Steven?" He asked.

What was it about...

He looked deep into himself, seeing the Gems, seeing his Dad and Connie, most of all...himself...

"What do you want Steven?" Rose asked him.

What does he want?

"What should you do Steven?" Pink asked him.

Pieces of himself, asking all these questions and no answers in sight. He had to get himself out of this rut and fast, but the chaos that was being put on his psyche alone was becoming too much to bare. The entire group, standing in a line, their judgement on the single piece of Steven that was real and tangible, awaiting his answer like judges trying to get him to figure out the real verdict;

"I want...I _want_...."

He wanted to free the Diamonds...he wanted them to take care of this. He wanted them to cure Connie. 

"You...to...."

He shrunk into himself, burying his head into his hands as he hunched over, the pain of his leviathan wreaking havoc as it breathed down his neck. Pink electricity burst from his Perfect Diamond body as it dispersed the illusions around him and forcing him scream out all the anguish he had buried thus far. He wasn't supposed to be doing that...not supposed to be keeping it all inside for it crack open with the risk to those around him getting hurt...or worse.

Schwarz was suddenly flown backwards, her back slammed against the wall behind her and watching as Steven struggled to breath, crackling with diamond energy all the while, hunched over slightly before he forced himself to straighten up his back and pulling the mother of all piercing glares right back on her. His formed stabilized back into the Perfect Diamond form as tried to reconcile his resolve.

It wasn't time to be nice anymore. He strode up to Schwarz; whom was trying so hard not to be shocked as Steven put his hand around her neck and smashed her body against the wall with enough force to put a massive crater in it. Her not being human made this a lot more easier.

"So...I get to experience the true Pink Diamond...just like she said I would." She said, grasping Stevens hands as she tried to smile underneath his grasp.

"You're so easily triggered when people simply don't hand over what you want."

~~I WANT MY OWN ARMY, I WANT MY OWN PLANET, I DESERVE IT!~~

That just served to anger Steven more and the grip around her neck even tighter....which had her suddenly shapeshift into Connie.

"Steven, you're hurting me." She said in Connie's voice.

The haunting idea of hurting Connie caused him to drop Schwarz and hearing her voice again....he was so desperate to hear it...had to say to himself it wasn't her, but he was falling apart once again with all of this thrust against him. She snickered as she shapeshifted back to normal and dusted herself off.

"See? You're so easy played with sentimentality." She said.

"That's what makes you weak. You know what you want to do to me but your supposed moral compass prevents you from doing what's necessary in the end. Which is why the rebellion will not stop until all the Diamonds are dead."

Steven didn't want to admit he was tempted. The desire to bring back the old ways with this new force in mind was a horrible outcome; undoing all the hard work Steven did years prior. Which is why he would never stop fighting until the Rebellion was quelled.

She pulled something out of her pocket...a small device. And pressed the big red button which set of flash red alarms and sirens.

"Well have fun, I have other work to attend to. I hope you enjoyed your lesson Steven Diamond...because this will only end one way....trapped in some sort of cage." She told him.

"Farewell!"

Disappearing into black smoke, Steven was left dumbfounded on how she got the better of him. Her power, unique and persuasive in the way she could psychologically wrench him like that, playing at everything he held dear to himself. The revelation of Connie hurting badly struck him as much as futile as it was to get her to talk about it...it was always about him...when he never wanted it to be. So stupid, foolish...

He was stuck in a disassociate rut in the rumbling when suddenly got comms from the Leviathan.

"Steven you have got to get out of there!" Volley announced.

"Cubedot just found out that the ship is bound to self-destruct any minute now!"

Damn it. Schwarz escaped his grasp. No time for that; he had to leave.

* * *

Running around in the dark didn't help as Steven was met with rushing Gems trying to get out just as much in the chaos. They probably weren't told their Captain was going to do this either, given how many them were completely frantic with the issue. He was busy running around trying to find his Roaming Eye...only to head to the docks and find it was gone. He looked around to find anything that would be of some use, trying to find a map...anything...until a piece of an Interceptor hit the docks and caused the docks to explode in flames. Steven immediately brought up a bubble to protect himself from the debris...but ultimately, that left him trapped underneath. His heart raced, trying to figure out a way to get out without being crushed...he tried pushing the bubble outwards but it wouldn't budge with all the heavy metal interlocked in place.

No...he couldn't die here.

"I'm stuck." He said to Volley.

Despair riddled his chest that was robbing him of all the hope he had. 

"Listen...Volley...please...please take care of Connie."

A moment that Steven would believe that Baseball had predicted his demise. Another Gem he badly wanted to get his hands on.

"Make sure she doesn't panic."

He ended up shrinking the bubble as he turned back into his normal state and went into a ball; wrapping his hands around his knees as he hugged them.

"No we're getting you out of there!" Volley cried.

"It's too late-"

The explosion could be seen from afar as the Dark Carrier self-destructed in a massive display like fireworks. Each of the surviving interceptors were immediately brought offline, leaving them as floating space junk. The entirety of the Bridge gasped in shock at the sight of it, with Yellow and Blue demanding to know where Steven is. Jasper and Volley were immediately dismayed, no one even knowing this was going to happen.

Meanwhile out in the Docks, there was a massive hole in the roof where there once plates as well as dozens of clawmarks and Vivi and Celosia knocked unconscious on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also yes, Schwarz was a Gem...though was anyone surprised?  
> So you have Schwarz, Celosia, Vivi then Connie...part of this...interesting quartet.  
> But the mystery remains: What Gem are they?


	31. The Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven wakes up on a strange planet and works through his future plans.

Volley began to cry as Jasper grew pissed off over the idea of her Diamond just up and dying like that. A sacrifice like that wasn't even warranted. She refused to believe it; not while the other Diamonds were down her neck about it. Once the event was over, she ordered a salvage crew to sort through the debris...it was by that point, that a report came through that Connie had disappeared through the docks. Volley had gone to investigate.

When she arrived, a groggy headed Vivi said she went absolutely nuts and started clawing at the top layers and had been doing that for hours since Steven departed and Vivi and Celosia had tried to get her to stop, but to no avail as she ended up resisting and knocking both of the Gems out...eventually tearing through everything as the barrier only reached to the top, but there was no barrier for the roof. The damage was immense with claw marks absolutely everywhere.

Volley ran back to the bridge and immediately told Jasper this, who told the salvage crew to keep an eye for the Corrupted Hybrid and to keep their distance. Roaming Eyes were sent out to try and find the both of them, their lights peering through the torn, floating wreckage of the Black Carrier, observed by Cubedot as she proceeded to have them scans for life signs. Yellow and Blue tried to find them as well...but oddly enough ended up with nothing.

They wouldn't stop until Steven was found.

* * *

The sound of birds and odd noises and the humidity in the warm air had Steven wonder whether or not he was dreaming of Beach City again.

Dreams that were common from time to time. The sound of waves, however, weren't around him. 

_Steven..._

He shot up, hearing his name whispered to him which gave him instant awareness with the shock. Rubbing the back of his head, he tried to piece together what happened moments prior. Visions of Schwarz and running around her Black Carrier...and an explosion.

Looking up, he was surrounded by alien flora. Nothing he'd seen on Earth but this had saturated hues of red, orange, greens and purples. Odd circular shaped stones with holes and the like. He's definitely been here before. Sitting upright, he mustered enough sense to try and get in contact with the Fleets and was in his normal form, albeit dishevelled and bits of his Admiral Uniform slightly torn.

"Hello? Volley? Jasper this is Steven do you copy over?" He called out.

Instead the device crackled as Steven felt the small shock around his ear and immediately threw it off as it broke into several pieces, accompanied by a static burst indicating its uselessness to him now. Fingers dug into the earth as Steven attempted to get a grip of things. It wouldn't be the first time in his life where he's lost all contact and understood that there were ways to survive on unusual planets. Walking around to get the jist of his surroundings, Steven scoured the jungles, pushing past the menagerie of their massive foliage that barred his bath, brushing through through their thickness to where ever he could possibly go. It was better than a wasteland but potentially more dangerous than one. 

The smells of the jungle forests wafted up his nose. Some times spending time in overly sterile environments was more bad than good and once Homeworld was updated with greenery, more pleasant smells were shared. They were controlled smells...but the scents of the wild still ended up being more potent. It wasn't until he heard screeching nearby that he hastened his pace to investigate.

Over yonder he rushed through ferns to witness an alien creature fighting off Connie, trying to swipe off a blue bird blob creature. Steven didn't hesitate to intervene, pushing himself in between the pair as he raised his shield towards the creature, glaring it as a warning for it back off.

It hit Steven's shield several times with his claws, but noticed the pink gaze in his eyes and suddenly grew fearful, turning around and hopping away. Sighing with relief, he turned to Connie to make sure she was alright; inspecting her wounds on her arms and had a few nicks here and there...nothing that kisses couldn't fix. Connie may be tall, thin and lanky but she was still Connie trapped within a different form and in his heart, clung on to the idea that the end was coming soon and she would be where she wanted to be. 

"There...good as new." He said to her softly.

"How are you feeling?"

A few clicks, but Steven understood enough. She looked around, her squarish eyes spinning as she begun to think, in the zone of familiarity in a similar way to Steven. It was then she remembered...she went to a nearby tree and plucked off a piece of purple fruit and handed it to Steven. He was touched by her gesture.

"I'm not that hungry, but thanks anyway." He told her.

Connie snorted in disagreement and tried to shove the fruit into his hands.

"It's alright Connie I'm not starving." He said.

_brrrrrrrrrrr_

Steven awkwardly looked down and chuckled nervously. Connie must have known he hadn't really eaten in a while. Shifting their gears, they sat against a cliff side as Steven sat down to eat, with Connie cautiously observing him from a slight distance. Biting into the fruit, his mind delved into what Schwarz was trying to explain.

_You see...the true power of our kind is meant to be those with the knack of sussing out secrets...while keeping our own._

Connie had her own secrets, for sure, but White holding her own still to this day should not have surprised him, but it did. Their Gem type; observers and masters of illusion it appeared. Masking was deep within and impossible to draw out. Once upon a time Connie was able to tell him certain feelings but Steven was worried about ten million other things to consider Connie's hiding of her own was so well managed. Pearl did the same, the more that he thought about it.

Looking at Connie, Steven knew she was hiding stuff even still but it wasn't as worrying as it was to believe in the insight that he had the inkling in knowing she had her own issues to deal with, stretching back as far as all those years ago and surely, her home life situation didn't seem all that nice either until effort was made to improve familial relationships. One of many things their shared.

His main fear of Pearl drilling the wrong idea into her head made him wonder if Connie had subconsciously been effected; a stain on her mind that was impossible to clean. Fighting as equals was fine, but throwing ones self into the fray or being a part of some event that would hold the greatest of risks to herself was a problem. 

Sandra used to say that stresses in ones life could usually manifest in ways the subconscious prefers to in order to balance it out. For Connie, it was studying and fighting for Steven still...and yes, she was doing it right now. He didn't want her to take care of him like that...but...he now wanted to take care of her properly and in a healthy manner.

He stood before Connie, looking up at her and not saying a word. She must have seen something; her manner a bit wary of Steven. It had Schwarz's words dig into him deeper than he desired it to be. Her words about secrets.

It did bring to mind a lot of the conversations he had with Sandra, with Lars, with Jasper, with Blue, with Yellow...

Except that Sandra was at the front of his mind at its strongest influence, where sessions about the way Steven would deal with tricky situations he felt could have change if he could choose to make the right choice. It had him think over the words she told him, the day before he left Beach City...

_You're so used to doing everything yourself. For so long, you've been the proprietor of being the only handyman in the universe who believes he can fix all that would be seen as broken. The tools were in your hands and they've been glued to them...so its going to be painful when someone strips them away...the grip so impossibly tight that you're left with hands that don't know what to do with themselves when they're not filled with something practical to do._

He'd since set up a campfire and sat against a rock as he looked into it, with Connie still standing there, observing him closely. He didn't mind...Connie worked harder than most people he knew. For a human, her studies were important and her dedication was second to none. She was still brave and loyal and feisty. The most disturbing scene he could recall was how she had begun to act like him; pretending everything was okay with a smile and words of assurance to mask the horror deep within. Steven had seen those cracks unconsciously and felt bad in the sense that he should have brought it up sooner. It wasn't her fault. The combination of selective torments and BYW-3 was a mix that Steven had endured in the same way, so could only envision what Connie was really seeing despite her acting otherwise. Those Ghost/Gods...voices, the text messages. 

"You and I are so alike." He said.

"I feel the need to fix to feel useful...to trample down the fact that there's a part of ourselves that we hate even more."

And for things to be broken again to fix, to break, to fix...the never ending cycle of hurt and healing.

"You're a study bug. Masking the trauma you've gone through with what you think will help...but I'm not entirely sure it was."

She made a few clicks, but appeared to be listening to him with intent, though a bit disturbed as he made awkward chuckles.

"Can't believe both of us want to focus our minds on the things that can push away and ignore those dark thoughts in our heads."

Connie tilted her head, as he could have sworn to see her Ghost/God blink in front of her, taking on the Wrath Form.

" _Push...pull....apart..._ " She said, her words coming out distorted like a tv with bad reception.

" _Together..._ "

Closing his eyes....the fact White pulled out his Gem was what was causing her grief...but there had to be a lot more deep down. Her relationship with her parents...being trapped in the bubble and her fear that no one else would care about her if she died. The fear of being useless just like Steven...

"They don't go away that easily." He told her.

"Sandra says that they're just being held back by weak strings which break the moment there's a lack of thinking weight on the brain...what ever that means."

Interpreted as the effort put into to pull in what was considered thoughts he need to process and using it to protect himself from the more painful aspects. Connie surely had to be doing the same...

"The way I think...the way we approach the common issues of who we are as people...finding our worth...it's not the same as finding ourselves as good or bad...ugh..."

And what Schwarz commented on, gave him enough to gripe about...

_You feel its necessary to forever hold the guilt around you..._

Steven curled into his knees, digging his fingers into his scalp as he tried to remember what Sandra was telling him all that long ago...

* * *

Sitting in her office, cosy on her brown couch as she sat down on her chair nearby. The room itself had this chocolate mint aesthetic. White walls, beige carpet. Wooden furniture and potted plants everywhere. The room even had this minty freshness to it.

Sandra herself had a preference for red over green with her clothes. She was the warm beacon inside the chilled peace and tranquillity of their private abode.

"So you equate that being a Diamond brings you...shame?" She asked.

Steven shrugged, hunched over with his arms on his knees and rubbed his neck.

"The Diamonds did horrible things." He said.

"Mom's done horrible things. I've done horrible things."

Sandra nodded.

"But your mother..."

Not this again.

"Mom probably felt bad too." He said.

"The only part I think shifted her way of thinking was when she hurt Volleyball."

Agreed upon after many sessions with Steven's belief that she had continued to try to vouch for changing. He's seen the damage she's caused and tried to rectify.

"Would you have preferred she was an actual Rose Quartz?"

Back in the redundant belief that she shattered Pink Diamond and lead the rebellion because she wanted to protect all life? Maybe. As horrible as Steven felt about it back then...it was more simple to have the idea she was a war criminal than someone who intentionally deceived her people. It was designed for the same purpose in mind but whether or not it made it all worse could be written in essays for centuries to come.

"I can't answer that." Steven said, knowing his answer would have been convoluted and incorrect.

"I know being a Diamond does mean that some decisions are final. They're not popular but people go by them anyway."

Sandra nodded.

"Generally speaking, what I think is happening Steven is that you are finding it so hard to define is this issue of not being able to make a decision that matters. Moral dilemmas of being both Steven Universe and being a Diamond. Steven Universe is a kind, loving being like the image of Rose Quartz was set out to be. Then you have Steven Diamond, the representation of the other side of you that you don't like showing others because of how similar it is to being like what Diamonds are known to be like."

Like Blue, Yellow and White before Era 3.

"I don't know if I'm afraid of being a Diamond." He said. Steven was past that fear.

"I just don't like being one."

But he's had to accept that it's a part of him, even the words rolling off his tongue had never been said and only gave him temporary relief from the admission. Sandra hummed, putting her clipboard down before she clasped her hands together, her index fingers pointing upwards in front of her chin.

"We all have sides of ourselves that could do with some improvement." She sad.

"We can lose or gain parts. Sometimes, unintentionally."

Steven wished he could control and decide what to keep and what to discard. It was a lot more complicated than that.

"But it may never be able to completely change peoples minds about you. First impressions create the biggest expectations and that getting it wrong will take the greatest effort to convince people otherwise."

And Steven definitely feared getting it wrong. People saw him as the saviour of the Galaxy...and then Steven Diamond who held the regard of wanting it all to be done efficiently and effectively. Typical expectations of a typical Diamond. 

"But you know...while it's never entirely in your control...there is...a second part to this...and the efforts aren't always in your court."

It wasn't?

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Sandra smiled.

"You can put in so much to convince others and attempt to get them to see you in a specific light. It goes hand in hand. Some individuals also need to make the connection themselves to attempt to understand you properly. Sadly, not everyone is willing to and guilt is placed on the wrong shoulders." She explained as she sat upright.

"People try so hard to appear as they want others to perceive them to be. Ideally, we shouldn't be trying so hard ourselves. If we can be who we are, without fear, then others will appreciate you more for the natural personality...and not a forced one."

Steven would have normally groaned at the Be Yourself vibe that she was getting at. Instead, he figured that there was a truth in that matter.

"Keep in mind that pleasing everyone is impossible. People won't like the things you do for good, bad and petty reasons. That's just how life is."

Like Bluebird, like Baseball and all the rest of the rebellion who loathed the changes Steven made.

"Being a Diamond is the same as being a manager or a CEO, King, Queen or God or what ever. Being at the top will set you on unsavoury courses and tough choices. People will love you or hate you for it. If you feel that it gets to you or affects you in a way that affects your leadership, then it is up to you on how you act against that."

It was. Steven struggled to fight against peoples opinions of himself, given his infamous history and his own mother. Some out of his control and some under...fighting for the fact that he wasn't his mother being one of the largest battles faced as a young preteen.

"Even if it was the right thing to do?" He questioned, his voice almost cracking with anxiety.

And doing the right thing was difficult on its own.

"Right...wrong...you decide that." Sandra continued.

"As long as you've thought about the consequences of that choice...even if its a gamble, you know you've tried and you can use that to learn from any mistakes in the process and maybe, if the opportunity presents itself, try again."

* * *

A gamble. That's what it was. Steven could only learn so much from caution alone. Mistakes to learn from and improve. That's what he wanted. His mistakes, others mistakes...decisions not exactly with the interest to the people one hundred percent. The Diamonds had gone down that path themselves. Steven had only a few thousand years to catch up to them if he made those same mistakes the same way they did. No he was _better_ than them, by far.

It had him think on Schwarz's actions...and even White's. It was White who thought of incubating Gems inside of humans. It was a mistake but then...she continued to make mistakes. But in her eyes, it was tiny.

It was Schwarz herself who made the decision to continue on White's work. Celosia...Vivi...Connie. All the outcomes presented from her line. And she punished the Diamonds for their neglect and ignorance. She chose to do that too.

Steven's main barrier was his conscience. Every decision would go against him in some way shape or form. He'll wear the Diamonds Sins on his shoulders if it meant doing what he thought was right. 

"Schwarz is our threat Connie." He said as he stoked the fires in front of him that sent off wispy embers.

"And Baseball. Both of them are just as guilty."

Why should Steven be the guilty one? He's done all he could to ensure the safety of the universe as a whole. Worlds no longer colonised, Gems and organic life no longer terrorised and Rebels stuck in their ways because they did not like the changes enforced.

The only other problem was White. When people on Earth did unlawful things they were punished. Steven began to feel he had go one step beyond. The true cause of agony for everyone.

He felt the desire to punish White as well for all the trouble that stemmed from her. The cause of his pain. The cause of Connie's pain. The cause of the pain that created a cycle of hurt for those White surrounded herself with. Right now, the first step had to be finding her and subduing Schwarz, Baseball and Bluebird and all those whom just chose not to abide by the new rules. 

"But I think...further changes are required for this to work properly. I don't think I'll be able to go home."

A statement that had Connie shift upwards with a bit of a whine.

"Steven...home...." Her Ghost/God muttered.

She shook her head in disapproval.

"I've accepted my pain Connie. I was merely an aftermath of the ripples White caused." He said, his voice going low and cold.

"I will stop Dr. Schwarz. I will find White...and I will give her the punishment she's been needing for thousands of years. Retribution of her handiwork of scarring every single Gem. Starting with Mom..."

The suffering Rose endured for those years. Steven agreed her actions, much like Schwarz, were merely the results of what had been inflicted her psychologically. If what Steven had gained from his sessions with Sandra, the cycles of hurt only cease when someone makes a stand to stop the cycle itself and the first section was recognising the cycle itself.

"I'll talk it out with Yellow and Blue but they shouldn't be too hard to be convinced." 

Shivers went up Connie's spine and her tail wagged from the response.

" _Steven...let...Steven...let...._ " 

He doubted Gems would get it, but the system to educate them all on the terms of helping them all out this way. To demonstrate that behaviours like Whites would not be tolerated, thinking of how to punish White came before his desires to get to Schwarz.

"Schwarz has her somewhere however."

Muttering to himself and scratching his chin, Steven became lost in his thoughts. Alone, with nary a soul to say otherwise in moments like these. Connie was good company, but she was in no shape to give an opinion. Without Connie's guidance, Steven had been unaware how uncharacteristic this was of him and it had Connie try so desperately to break through her condition to voice her worries of him acting this off-putting.

So she threw a tantrum and screeched which caused Steven to jump in surprise.

"Woah Connie what's the matter?" He asked.

He was expecting anything...except for the fact that she leapt over the fires and pinned Steven's wrists to the hard stone behind him. Roaring in his face with her beastly fury, with Steven left agape over the fact that she just attacked him. She was so massive and intimidating up close and those angry eyes and the drool that fell out of her maw. Why was she angry at him all of a sudden?

"Connie...stop...you're hurting me..." He said, struggling to wiggle out of her grip.

Her claws were tough enough that they dug into the rock itself. Steven didn't want to hurt her and outright refused to, but failed to understand what made her so aggressive out of nowhere.

"Was it something I said?" He asked.

He didn't want to admit to the fear he had at her staring him down like that. The clicking growls she made as her eyes never left him, the squares spinning again as she made internal judgement, from some kind of functional tick in her head that told her to do so.

"Are...are you in any pain? Talk to me Connie I know...I know it's hard for you but...I swear I will get this fixed..."

* * *

He was drawn into a new scenario. The sound of rain by window and a room dark with the glows of stars on both sides of the room. Two beds. Brick walls. 

Connie's Dorm Room.

He stood there in between the beds, noticing that Connie was on hers. reading, and Vivi was laying back and playing her Hybrid Console.

"I'm surprised you're willing to put up with so much of his shit." Said Vivi.

A memory. An old conversation.

"Guys like Steven are normally basement dwellers only coming out to conventions with the intent of purchasing overpriced merch and role playing. But girl, you got the real deal and without the stink."

Guys like...him?

"There's no one like Steven." Connie told her.

"He's the one who has to go through everything...almost dying on too many occasions to count."

Vivi raised an eyebrow.

"What about you? You almost died too. You're a regular human...no fancy powers to back you up in case shit hits the fan."

An issue subjugated with enough training to ensure she wasn't a load on the Gems. Even so, latter years and with college prep didn't allow Connie to do as much as she had liked. If she could, she would learn with the Gems and maybe help them to. But being a regular human as Vivi put it, it wasn't her place...she had to stick to human education. It's just how her life worked.

"I'm not stupid Vivi." Connie stated.

"Steven has me to help him fill the gaps he needs for him to realise the limits of his own humanity. It takes knowing him as long as I have to know his conflicts aren't like anyones."

Vivi appeared offended.

"Even me who doesn't even know who I really am?" She stated.

And they still didn't. But they were closer to the truth that they realised. Connie hummed.

"Sorry, I mean, you are a pure Gem with a human mindset." She explained.

"Steven has a Steven Mindset. His struggle to balance the sides of himself that needs to most nourishment...more often than not, it's always his human side that's being questioned...and ignored."

Memories of Homeworld filtered by him of the last incident. The struggle back then was his steadfast dedication to aid Gemkind was going above the call of duty. Repairs and being able to deal with matters the other Diamonds neglected themselves or just failed to understand. 

"Questioned...and ignored..."

The words echoed and repeated around him as the world went completely dark.

"Questioned...and ignored..."

_~~I have to be somewhere, I had to be someone...~~ _

_Questioned...and Ignored..._

~~_WHAT IS ME?_ ~~

Steven shook his head and got himself out of the muck he was in. Looking closely into those huge eyes, Connie wasn't going to let him go anytime soon, slapping her tail against the ground behind her to remind Steven of how pissed off she was.

"You're worried I'm losing my humanity..." He muttered.

He wasn't going to though. He's just had to make the call that would send a message to Gems everywhere.

"To be honest, I'll question humanity itself. It makes me think about humans willingly working alongside Schwarz and the Organisation. Their cruelty...in making you this way. Plenty of those who knew exactly what they were getting themselves into and did it anyway."

Tears ran down his cheeks as he broke down and sobbed. Connie suddenly let him go as Steven fell over on his hands and knees and cried, watching his every move with the utmost caution...

"You must...see it...for yourself....human laws...set the foundation by human rulers..." Steven said in between sobs.

"But I'm a Diamond. A Diamond makes the rules. And must set an example for all the Gems under our command."

He eventually got up and looked at Connie with the most intense stare she had ever seen. It wasn't meant to scare her but to let her know he was confident with how he felt.

"If-if one of our own commits a crime then it is up to a fellow Diamond to find a way to show that breaking those laws isn't acceptable. We must be better and show we won't tolerate that type of behaviour, no matter the rank of that Gem. We're all equal in the eyes of justice!"

Part of Connie knew he was definitely insane. Not this again. She couldn't let him cross that bridge that they had dragged him across from several years ago.

"I'm not going to shatter her...that's not our way." He said.

Not a Diamonds way?

"I mean, the Diamonds have been this huge force of power that's been abused. We have to show the Gems we're not like that anymore. A Diamond in this Era has to be for the people and if that means poofing and bubbling White for thousands of years then so be it. It sends the message that we're totally serious...and that leads the way for Gems with far more merit to step up to the plate. Like Jasper. Like Volleyball. They've so far impressed me with their fortitude and resilience."

If Connie could she would give Steven a verbal beatdown on how utterly absurd this sounded. If only he could just listen to himself talk. 

"So you see. I can't go to Earth. I don't belong there anymore." He said to her, with this insidious grin on his face.

And this was just like it was last time, only much more alarming. It wasn't a snap either..it was a gradual descent in casual madness. He wasn't accepting his pain, his leviathan. He was accepting his heritage and becoming more comfortable with it. And Connie was honestly powerless more than ever, to be able to stop him.

"I...I don't want to be on Earth anymore. This is my calling in life Connie. I am the Diamond these people need and I know exactly how to manage it."

There it was. Connie felt the most lucid in a long time as the words that spilled out of his mouth dragged a sanction of her own mind to a point where she was saddened, disappointed and angry...three simple emotions that she could correlate for what ever time frame this phase could provide. Steven could tell she was concerned and so went all out to reassure her.

"Don't worry it'll be fine." He said.

"I've thought about this is and this what I have decided to do. If Earth needs a hand with anything at all I'll still answer the call. We'll get you cured, get you home and well, could get you into another respectable college without a shady history...I'll even do the research for you."

It was then Connie started walking backwards...the symbol of her own fears appearing within her chest. Never in her life, perhaps that it was part of that small snippet of lucidity she had gained, had she been afraid of Steven. Before, it was understandable because Steven didn't know he was going down that path and how it would fare worse for him and because no one else had bothered to intervene until it was too late. Eventually, he saw the light with enough effort and sacrifice on Connie's end to get him that way. Words like a text message without words but the feeling insinuated through the calling told Connie exactly what she had to do...even if she didn't want to do it.

Right now, the issue was happening once more and Connie's state couldn't just comprehend what he was trying to do. But she knew where to get help, connections to the things she had been given with the visions granted to her. With great pain she flew up into the air, leaving Steven gobsmacked with her suddenly leaving him.

"Wait, Connie, where are you going?" He cried.

"Are you going to find help? Great idea! No use sitting around waiting right?"

He made the jump, but instead she ended up firing off small sharp black feathers from her wings that shot Steven back down to the ground in an instant and instantly pierced his arms and legs and nailed him into place, causing him to gasp in sudden pain, watching the blood slowly pour out. He couldn't budge or move...those were some sturdy feathers.

"CONNIE!" Steven cried, tears flowing.

Looking around in the skies, Connie was no where to be seen....his heart began to slowly break at this sudden betrayal and it caused him to sink further in because of it, going into his pink state. He couldn't budge...not because of the feathers but the heavy weight of his despair of the last individual he thought was never going to go against him had left him there to die. He could blame the corruption as it did mess with his head too...so he settled on forgiving Connie for not knowing any better...he heard footsteps...seeing the shadows of his Ghost/Gods standing around him, looking downwards. Pink, Rose, Little Steven, Teen Steven, Diamond Suit Steven...all surrounding the disjointed Admiral in their judgement.

"I....I haven't done anything wrong!" He pleaded.

"Connie's just a bit sick...she's probably going to find help...and didn't want me to go anywhere..."

None of them said anything...as the afternoon sun peered above and only gave their silhouettes and fiery pink eyes that pierced through his very soul.

_~~You will go to a sunny planet. And you will encounter a beast.~~ _

"Was Connie the beast?" He asked them, half expecting at least one of them would answer.

"No...Connie's...Connie's Connie...you know that, I know that..."

No response.

He felt a bit woozy for losing so much blood...his rampant thoughts being lost in the fuzz with a head full of fog...and ended up losing consciousness once more, as a huge shadow blocked the sun above him.

"Doctor, we've found him." Said Baseball over the comms.

"Your predictions strike again. Get him on board...let's get him back to the Zoo." Said Dr. Schwarz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss


	32. The Unjust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven finds himself in a tricky situation and a certain Sapphire returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays; working on DestDomain and having writers block is a pain. Enjoy!

The only noise in the dark room he could hear was his own heart beat, but the flashes of his ordeals through out his life kept coming and going as they pleased. From Cookie Cat, to the drift of the following trials he's had to endeavour. The first time he went to Homeworld; to his corruption. To driving across the country to find his peace, but his heart wouldn't let him settle. Sessions with Sandra were frequent, becoming infrequent with the months that passed and especially after he made the decision to head back to fix matters.

It was the only position he could fit into. His home, away from home that became the norm in his life. It wasn't like he had planned it intentionally, but with the war about, peace couldn't exist. A journey without end. Those whispers, lingering his mind as a stretched out horror story. The journey...the road.

A Happily Ever After, stretched thin into the eternal horizon.

Ticking clocks, empty thrones. Soundless worlds. Breaking bones.

The creature screeches to get free. It's there. It was never in one place for too long.

Locked cages; Mournful cries. Raging beasts, innocence dies...

When was the time where everything was lost to him?...the moment things settled down. When they didn't. They continued to stir and stir and the screw became loose everywhere it had been barely holding on for years. Decades, Centuries...Millennia.

He was reminded of seeing Connie's face; overlapped with her corrupted selves...angry, tormented...with _him_...

What did he do wrong?

His poetic insanity halted for the moment as he heard footsteps and the shuffling of fabric as it entered and echoed in the room. I

"Remove the blindfold."

Doing so, Steven struggled as two Rubies took it off his face, seeing Baseball standing before him. His Diamond Admiral Uniform, looking worse for wear from when he was attacked...by...Connie?

No...surely...he didn't want to believe it.

He was strapped to some kind of cube device. Metallic and the Rebel Logo on the sides. Two red and black poles beside him that held blue translucent chains of light that stretched out to carry his arms and ankles and spreading him out in an x position. He was stripped to his shorts and a smaller, cylinder was hovering over his Gem. The room itself was small filled with consoles and walls of pink and white, the floor itself held the old decor of the Era 1 logo. He swallowed and struggled to break free. It looked like a similar machine that Connie had been strapped into earlier, but a smaller variant. She ordered the Rubies to wait outside...leaving her alone with him.

"We remain ever the conduits of our hatred." Said Baseball.

"Emerged from our fields, sequestered to chaos."

She sounded just like Vivi in a way. But her Sapphire-Cold tone was creepier than it had ever had been.

"Schwarz reminds us of the tragedy that comes with those with the Pink Diamond Gem. It's poison on those around them, even it's own kin."

She was still obsessed with this concept. It was something Steven had once believed:

He knew the name Steven Quartz Universe would bring bad luck. But he would sooner discover that the name Steven Diamond would bring on such hatred on a grander scale.

"You believe her?" Steven questioned. He didn't bother to try and wriggle free; preferring to submit temporarily until he figured what he was up against.

It wouldn't be with Steven alone; those that followed such a controversial system bent on solid core values and morals, thinking along the lines of designated purpose and desired purpose and thinking there was no other way. The Pink Diamond was asymmetrical in those values, diverting the expectations the majority of Gem kind were made and ordered to follow.

"She explained to me that she was the one who knew what Pink Diamond had done. But she was ordered not to engage or divulge this information to anyone, not even Blue or Yellow...but she could trust me. Everything she said; made the most sense. So now...I would with justification that we are not able to trust White Diamond either; the influence you had on her the next stain created. You will not stop until your corruption is spread across the entire universe; the toxic warp of its creation everywhere."

So Schwarz didn't trust White Diamond either now. Steven heard the tale from Schwarz herself. The tale must have been told to any Gem who would listen; Baseball included. Steven's changed tougher minds but there was something Baseball was missing.

"What do you think corruption is, Baseball?" He dared to ask.

"A broken mind with a broken body to suit it."

Baseball lowered her head.

"I am inclined to agree...but with more to add." She answered.

"There's the fast track and the slow path. The path taken by your Leviathan. The paths on those lost in the wake of the Diamonds Light. They couldn't find it. It was forced on them."

What was she talking about?

"For Connie...she is like your Pearl. You say you love her but the damage was done. You hurt her. You corrupted her."

He did...but it wasn't his fault. It made him angry that she dared to compare the two.

"You think I _wanted_ any of this to happen?" He shouted, his face rippling with signs of his rising temper.

"I went to Homeworld because my work on Earth was done; fixing the mistakes made by the Diamonds...and so I did my job there instead, the only job I was good at....helping people...you know...to continue fixing mistakes."

Baseball lifted her chin and continued to absorb what Steven was telling her. The Diamond Admiral was furious...but he pulled himself back from the brink of emerging rage. This Sapphire had been a prevalent cause of his problems...but she was not the real reason. He understood that now. Taking into account with what Schwarz had told him, he could see how humanities own influence had on Gem kind. Schwarz had the exact same power as Steven.

The power to change.

And that in itself, was incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands. His logic had to shift for the better. Changing for the worst, as Spinel had once said. Only this time it was from a far more reputable and (admittedly) intelligent source. Someone whom had seen everything. Pushed these angry and confused Gems in the direction they were never supposed to take. Pushed them to believe that the Diamonds were the enemy. Once upon a time, they were, but now...

With time itself, the lessons learned from Garnet about creeks and rivers and steering boats and ships and the courses taken...Sapphires had the power to change fate from what they would perceive just as much as anyone. 

"I see now that it wasn't entirely within my control because of what you were doing; force-feeding me this-this _junk_ into my body to force my Leviathan to emerge!"

Because she knew...

"It was-"

"I'm not finished..." He said, interrupting the Sapphire, much to her shock.

"You _saw_ me becoming a monster, you ever come to think, with the almighty foresight that ya know, maybe you could have found an alternate solution? Warned me of what was really coming instead of being all mysterious and vague?"

The Pink Sapphire looked down. Whether or not she saw otherwise was irrelevant. Maybe Steven was too used to Garnets perception and her version had other routes.

"That was the path found permissible." She admitted.

"But...with Schwarz...I also saw alternate routes of you becoming a monster anyway. The solution to speed up the process was the most logical one."

Steven growled. Was there literally no other way? With words that would cause contempt to rise from his father, he held no other descriptive purpose on the simplest terms for his point to get across. His way. The way to settle his boiling blood, because, really, he knew he could escape. He just didn't want possible collateral damage. But fall into his Perfect Diamond form unsettled Baseball in the most subtle expression, meaning, she was focusing on the resolution again.

"So you think that it was the only conclusion?" He told her.

"You _hate_ Pink Diamond and the other Diamonds...I get that. You _hate_ me for changing a society!"

And the things that Volleyball had told him...and the revelations found through previous trials. That which he had discussed with Sandra and Connie. The thing about Garnet talking about mastering his own fate? It was more on Steven that what he could admit. He chose to go back to Homeworld because...they _needed_ him. They needed a Diamond to take charge because...who else had the strength to carry a species forward? When for those untold millennia, it had been the Diamonds that while they had feared them, they also looked up to them. For power, for leadership. Qualities that needed refinement. The strength was always there, in their design. But the way they handled it all; they literally did not know any better. Had Steven forgiven them for their neglect and abuse? Of course not. A topic brought up in many a therapy session. The fact he redirected his intentions for so long to get them to see a different path in their lives was considered impressive on its own and the courage Steven had on his own was incredible for a boy of his age at the time.

Only that...Steven suffered. Steven had sacrificed much to get this far...his heart ached constantly and his thoughts were always of home...of Connie. Of the Gems. Of his father. Of Beach City and those who dwelt within it.

"You didn't like that Mom hurt Volleyball and hurt so many others. You didn't like me deconstructing an Empire that had, what, thousands of years poured into it? Only to be undone by some half-breed who thinks he knows better. You know what? I know I'm not perfect and that's okay. I will make mistakes and I am capable of changing to rectify those mistakes." He continued.

"I can accept that is something to be angry about. I admitted that I had once hated Mom for what she did..."

 _Once_...the mixed feelings remained as is but the hatred part had eventually ceased. He had at one point, spoken to her statue months ago. He didn't apologise; only speaking to assist with clarification that was cathartic in truth.

"But you know...I also saw that she tried to improve and change...and that she wanted it so _bad_ she had me. And even that, was not in everyone's best interest...."

And the hardest part of all....the part Steven scarcely talked about with many. Bringing it up and just thinking about it hurt Steven that it caused the inevitable tears to form...and he welcomed them as he used his Leviathan to guide his words with genuine expression.

"And I hate myself. I hated that it felt like...felt like the universe was on my shoulders when it was never supposed to be."

The burdens held for many years. But they were minor compared to everything else. Sandra had said otherwise, his humanity his weakness in how it could only deal with so much.

"Why would you hate yourself for your own beliefs?" Baseball questioned.

"You say you care about Gems. But there were so many left out with no options given after the rules of Era 3 were declared. All they had...taken. And the Diamonds declared joy and freedom to all. But you wanted this. Why do you hate doing something then do it anyway?"

The nature of human-borne logics were always deep in such paradoxes so of course Gems would never understand.

"I do care about Gems." Steven stated.

"I just...wish I could have reached out to everyone...but there's so many. So many Gems out there that I might not even have the time to reach all of their needs."

He worked so hard and for so long....and he was corrupted for it.

"I hate myself for getting to the point where I was ignoring my own needs, wanting to better Gem Society rather than looking after myself."

He felt the Leviathan curve around him, its power restraining him.

"I did all of this fighting not because I _wanted_ to. But because I _needed_ to."

Words that had Baseball begin to rethink things on her end, judging from her body language.

"I sought out Dr. Schwarz...because of a rumour I heard on Homeworld." She revealed.

"Some higher-class Gems on Homeworld who had fought in the Rebellion talked about the Dark Gem who had the power of illusions. I'd never heard of such a Gem. But the more I looked into it, the future I foresaw with her told me she had relevance. So I went to Earth and found her. I wasn't supposed to but...it was fate. I told her everything...and she...of her own free mind and will said that she wanted to change the world. Change the universe and that Pink Diamond was the pinnacle of all the issues and didn't deserve to live. When I told her that I found out about her through word of mouth, she was under the impression White Diamond forgot all about her and begun to plan the demise of the Diamonds and the uprising of their rule."  
Oddly familiar to Spinels situation. The Diamonds deeming Gems once their use was no longer required useless and forgetful. Such cruelty encouraged by White...so he could see where his mother got it from.

"She in turn, taught me that I did not have to follow the will of the Diamonds. That they were not the leaders I thought they were. And so...I aided her for centuries. She lost track of Pink Diamond and I told her...that she was no more. That the path lead to something else entirely."

Him.

"I was born." Steven said.

Baseball nodded.

"It lead to ideas about what Schwarz could do; beginning with the increase of agents; Gems who understood our plight and created in the same way she was. Leading to the second Gem of their type. The birth of the Orange One had emerged some years after."

Celosia.

"Then the purple one."

Vivi.

"And when the situation escalated that you had changed the rules of Gem Society, that's when Schwarz took advantage of all the Gems who didn't take too kindly to the changes. Told them that they didn't have to take what was given and ordered...and that they were would have new rulers that would bring us back to the glory days."

Which lead to now.

"Tell me then Baseball." Steven said, his focus entirely on her.

"What do _you_ truly want?"

Her focus was on the floor, face still but a roll of sweat dripping down it.

"I am not sure...the path is not clear anymore." She said, struggling to use her future vision.

"I see so much destruction. And why... _why_ is your corruption taking over me?"

She started to freak out, with her hands on her hand as she shook with fear. This wasn't corruption. Not in the slightest.

"It's not." He said.

"Look...you can continue to hate me if it pleases you. But please understand. What Schwarz is doing is wrong. Incubating existing, living, breathing, innocent organics for the purpose of Gem reproduction is far worse than what the Diamonds were doing. That in itself was a horrible thing."

That he would never find himself among other historical incidents, would ever forgive and forget.

She bit her fingers, anxious and uncertain as her hair became more dishevelled.

"No one is technically forced to work for the Diamonds. Everyone is doing this because they believe it is the right thing to do. Maybe the Rebellion is as well. I do not have the capacity to lie about this. I want to have Gem kind live peacefully, living their lives as they see fit as long as they're not willingly to harm one another. They can do what they want, when they want...just...without the hurt...please..."

He could see the tears rolling down her face.

"I am _not_ your enemy. I am your Diamond. A Diamond to serve Gem kind. Not to rule it."

Baseball lifted her head; visions still a blur but...she understood it more so.

"You are _also_ human." She said through her sniffs.

"You can't possibly serve Gem kind if you are not fully one of us."

That much was true.

"You must serve humans...but if you're not fully one of them..."

Steven smiled warmly, his rage subsided with the small collection of warmth that gathered that turned him back to normal.

"The beauty of Era 3 is that we can choose where we want to go in our lives. But we cannot ignore the needs of ourselves or others." He explained.

"I can never tell Gems what they need. Every Gem is different. Hence, my job; going out to the colonies and asking those Gems. In order to help them, I ask them, with the power of a Diamond, what I can do? And-and even the ones who said they didn't need my help? I stood back...and said that's fine and still offered my assistance just in case. Not at the time, but if they required anything at all that I be their go to. And you know what? Some did come back and reached out. There's something so...humbling and powerful and special about being there for someone..."

He'd forgotten what it had felt like. It was addictive, a drug like high prompted from being needed.

"There are ways to do so without overworking ourselves to death. I learned that out the hard way."

It was then her lips trembled. He was right. She could have been there for him. Stopped the monster. Stopped his leviathan. She completely ignored the factors of his kindness because she simply didn't know him well enough...Dr. Schwarz's orders were to proceed as planned superseded any potential to see it all in a different light. He had the power to persuade the Diamonds. While that drew some parallels towards his critically divided mother, there was something definitely different in Steven that separated him from her that she couldn't define. All she could see, was the steps higher in magnitude taken to get this far and the struggles, the perseverance...the willingness to restore ties and confidence within Baseball despite all she had done to him. It wasn't him corrupting her.

It was her own old guilt taking a new form. He knew exactly what that felt like.

"And I wasn't there for her." She said, trying so hard not to break down.

"Pink Pearl. I cared for her. Pink Diamonds temper was...volatile any time she couldn't get something out of the other Diamonds. Her strength for a Pearl was great enough for me to admire and I was saddened for when she was taken away."

And she wasn't supposed to care. What she wanted to do and what she needed to do...the lines were blurred.

"I couldn't have done anything to help because I would have been shattered for intervening where a Sapphire doesn't belong."

Which gave Steven something to use.

"Then you would have seen yourself getting shattered...instead you saw Volleyball getting hurt."'

A statement that had her gasp in horror, slapping her hands to her face in the dawning realisation.

"No..I..." She said, almost speechless.

Directed by hatred...when in reality, Pink Sapphire was no better than Pink Diamond; the front placed above to have solid reasoning and logic when in truth, it was all part Dr. Schwarz's manipulation.

"I continue to see and guide the hand as it is motioned forward. The guidance leading you to multiple conclusions and failures. Your search for the Diamonds. We hinged on misdirection but with the counteracting power of the Gems of Illusion, you found them."

Except one.

"Where is White?" Steven asked; aching for this kind of connection with the one he felt had the most potential to see things differently. Literally.

Baseball looked down and pursed her lips.

"This is urgent." He said.

"Look...I don't hate you for what you did to me. You set me free, we can both solve this and defeat Schwarz. She's the more dangerous one than me around here and all of the universe is under threat from her ambitions."

Lifting her head and her hand to her mouth in a silent gasp, Baseball was unsure of where to go from here.

"You...you won't shatter me?" She said, voice quivering slightly.

Steven shook his head. This was still an issue. The underlying threat of being broken apart as such. It was never the permanent solution and only really served to make things worse. Even in his darkest moments; those moments of vengeance; calling for blood; Steven was not compelled to shatter anyone. He had once denied the feeling; ashamed of it and not wanting to believe what he was feeling was wrong, when in truth, thanks to Sandra, that these kinds of intrusive thoughts did not make him a monster. What did, was the lack of control, from his ends and the prodding from others. He did not have to like hurting people; only knowing the limits of how much one can hurt another in many different ways. Reaching for the sun, the light every day to balance what was considered a petty, throwaway thought and what was legitimate.

What his father had said that day, about there being no such thing as a good war, stuck with Steven. He understood necessity. He continued to strive to understand himself and others so that the world of tomorrow would be there to greet them.

"I will not." He said.

"I will find some other way to have you amend...and I'm here for the best resolution possible. We can explore anything and everything. I've grown up with a Sapphire by my side....certainly would help the war a lot with another."

She froze, looking into such a future with near delight and surprise. She dusted off her dress and walked forward using the console next to him to deactivate the device he was attached to. Baseball, the one who had been told to put the BYW-3 into Steven to begin with and once had looked forward to his demise, had seen the bigger picture. It looked bright and hopeful....and Steven felt a weight go off his shoulders and a sense of relief. Baseball had proven her strength to change the conditions on her own and foresaw the beacons of the future with the first parts of optimism. Jumping off, Steven went to speak with Baseball some more...that was until a sharp, white crystal spike entered her chest from behind.

"Baseball!" He cried.

Those wings...that blue skin with blotches of red and green. That god awful hair cut and four legs. Baseball was stuck, staring at Steven with the terror written all over her face before she poofed, her Gem landing in the fusions hand.

"Should have known the Sapphire was too weak and passive...ugh...don't send a Gem to do a fusions job!"

Steven growled and rubbed his wrists; his glare on Bluebird all the while.

"Give her to me." he said coldly.

Bluebird laughed, she was cocky and enjoying herself.

"She was nothing more than a tool in the end." She said, throwing the Gem up and down in her hand.

"Rage all you might Steven...you cannot hope to stop what is coming...the true power to bring you down."

No...he still stop them. He would make sure of that.

"You're wrong." He declared, ready for another fight.

"I will end this."

Bluebird wasn't even paying attention, admiring the Pink Sapphire with a soft fondness.

"I never even thought you would have persuaded her to see your side...after how much Schwarz drilled her ideas into all of this. She makes it all make so much sense. How much damage your poison can really do to people. You've gotten Emerald intoxicated and now this poor Sapphire. When will your tyranny end???"

Steven rolled his eyes. She wouldn't be redeemed the same way Baseball was. Baseball needed work, love and care. That much, Steven understood. He blamed himself for not paying much attention to her...her in his own court for goodness sake. So...he had to get her back.

"Stop being so dramatic and give her to me if you find she's useless to you now. I'll give her a good home." He demanded.

She sighed.

"Hmm...maybe...but maybe I will do what I want...see Era 3 shortened to its inevitable end...And all I need to do is sit and..."

Within seconds, everything slowed down as she threw the Gem in the air and sliced the Gem in question into pieces before Steven could properly react...and all he could do was just jump forward, diving onward to collect the shards as he cried out.

" _NOOOOOO!_ "

Sliding before Bluebirds feet with the shards in his hands, Bluebird was amused at the fact he was below her right now, like he was groveling.

"And watch it all crumble before you. Bye!"

She flew off out of the room and Steven, still a mess of emotions, had reacted too late as Bluebird had locked the steel door behind her. Steven breathed heavily, the anxiety weighing on him far worse than before. He looked at the Pink Sapphires remains in his hands as he slid against the door, said hands quaking as he cried. He had no Diamond Essence on hand to heal her outright...he tried his spit first in the futile effort to heal her, but his hands were busy fumbling. Tears fell and he used those too. But without the other Diamonds...

" _No_..." Steven cried out so weakly to himself.

The guilt increased a thousand fold but Steven couldn't afford to be sad now. She c _ould_ be saved....and so the guilt turned to anger, putting the shards into his pocket as he adjusted himself and took a deep breath; turning into his Perfect Diamond form once more and cracking his knuckles. He was on his own but...he's done the impossible over and over and this...this he treated it as slight delay. He will punish Bluebird in one way or another. His way. But now she wasn't his priority...despite shattering Baseball, Steven could only put his eyes and focus towards one person in particular now.

Schwarz. And so he went to work banging on the walls with his fists, reading to tear a literal path directly towards the Dark Gem; no matter the cost.


	33. The Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven reflects.

_"This is where I want to be."_

* * *

It was always a moment of reflection in spaces like these. Steven locked away in a room, hearing the hums of the functions of the mysterious place he'd found himself in. No matter how hard he'd hit the door, it would repair itself. It was made out of that same alloy he used to use while having his 'moments' on Homeworld. He leaned against the door in subtle defeat, sliding his back down until he was sitting, hunch over one knee bent and the other leg stretched out forward. He'd almost forgotten he looked worse for wear; clothes torn here and there, hair messy and generally too mentally exhausted to function.

There was a day where he'd come across that infamous Venting Room; but never had to use it again. He was able to vent his frustrations to his therapist so there was no need.

But this time, Steven's frustration was now on the rise again and he was ready to pummel someone. He didn't want to, but after...after losing Baseball...

There was this niche...that even after all Baseball had done to him specifically, that he didn't fully hate her. He couldn't. He had to admit that he couldn't fully hate anyone (even Kevin, although Steven came to pity him more than hate in the end). So Baseball was no different. She herself getting shattered too...and it wasn't him that did it either.

Inhaling deeply, Steven had to resolve himself for the inevitable...so far, the one he had to deal with, first and foremost, was Schwarz. The sole manipulator. The Mastermind of Cruelty.

Changing people for the worst.

He looked at her shards, one by one. Thinking of things she was afraid of. Thinking of things she had seen and heard. Thinking of how much power she had...and didn't have. She served his mother...served him. Millennia spent in regret.

"Just like Mom." Said Diamond Suit Steven, who stood over him with a nightingale on his shoulder...then there were so many of them in the room...it wasn't just the butterflies anymore.

"Mom had no choice. Mom tried to fight back."

Fighting caused more problems than it solved.

"Baseball had a choice. She could have fought back." Steven claimed.

Why was that even a suggestion?

"She didn't. She couldn't. For millennia." Diamond Suit Steven said.

Only for Admiral Steven to roll his eyes and refuse to look at his Gatekeeper in the eyes. How was he stupid to not think of the obvious.

"You know how the Diamonds reign on Gemkind worked." He called out.

Insubordination with the harshest punishment. 

"I'm talking about now." DS! pointed out.

"Gems have the ability to do what they want. She _chose_ to listen to Schwarz instead."

The Admiral groaned, irritation written blatantly on his face and bags under his eyes.

"There's a difference in absolute freedom and being outright chaotic and careless." He said, looking at his hands.

"I helped set the rules and boundaries. Schwarz seeks to undo the sacrifices I made....and she's...she's...."

DS! Steven put his hands in his pockets and lifted his chin. 

"She's human. Like you." 

She _was_ human....but he wasn't wrong. Schwarz still had a human mind and that coupled with Gem powers was a dangerous mix. Steven understood that loud and clear. 

"Celosia and Vivi are human too."

Diamond Suit looked behind him, moving to the side to reveal younger Steven standing right behind him. His original denial and his conscience.

"But this shouldn't be about what humans are to Gems. It's about what we are to each other."

But Gems made Schwarz, Celosia and Vivi...and Connie to make out the quartet.

"We have different needs and wants. Schwarz wants destruction; she needs to be destroyed herself." Said a more feminine voice.

Rose appeared behind younger Steven, who went to go stand next to his older, bargainer.

"It's about necessity, more than our own emotions." Said Pink, who popped up behind Rose.

The four eventually stood alongside each other, looking down at the Admiral with expressions unique to them. The Diamond; with half-lidded eyes, appearing apathetic but really, passionate underneath about the work conducted. Young Steven, fearful, but caring enough to be worried. Rose, her hands together in front of her, saddened but urged to assist as much as she could. Lastly, Pink, a bit peeved but ultimately, the core strength behind everything. The first to make the move. The original chess piece thought to be have been a pawn, not going in the direction in should have, but she was but a Queen who was always to go where she wanted.

"I've struggled with what was right and what was wrong...but..."The admiral murmured.

He certainly felt the sickening heat of judgement being brought upon him by these aspects of himself. His Ghosts, his Gods...those who knew him the most. He couldn't hide...he never could. Not from himself.

"I refuse to shatter Schwarz, if that's what you're insinuating."

The spectres looked at one another, contemplating his meaning and words and how much heart and soul were thrust into them.

"Then you need to break her another way." Diamond Suit suggested.

"White was convinced..."

Through words? His Gem ripped out of his stomach again? 

"You are a Diamond; privy to everything a Diamond has access to." Said Pink.

"You are a Human; privy to everything a Human has access to." Said Rose.

"You are Steven Universe; privy to everything a Steven Universe has access to." Said Young Steven.

That meant absolutely nothing if he understood what any of that was even talking about.

"I'm sure anything I do will be wrong; if Schwarz can't be reasoned with...poofing her will be the last resort." The Admiral explained.

"Only if you see it as wrong..." Said the Diamond Suit.

"If you perceive yourself as the monster. Then you are one. If you perceive yourself as the Diamond others see you as, then you are one."

Perception. Here he was again....deep in controversy.

"Make your choice...and own it."

* * *

He was taken out of his trance by by hearing a series of loud bangs behind the door. Furrowing his brows in confusion, he contemplated who it could have possibly been.

"How the fuck do you open this damn thing?" Said a muffled, cursing voice.

_Vivi._

He stood up and held his hands against it, as a wave of relief washed over him on hearing...probably the 'friendliest' voice in this place.

"Vivi, it's me, Steven!" He cried, splaying his fingers against the cold metal.

"Oh gosh, it's so good to-"

"Yeah yeah, shut up Stevo and help me open this thing!"

Words that caused him to pause and reflect on this request.

"Is there a pad on the door or something?" Steven questioned.

It was quiet for a good few seconds before it heard a huge grunt of dissatisfaction.

"Yeah...but it doesn't respond." She replied.

Figures. It must have some kind of Diamond Authority clearance on it. Or authority to a select group of Gems. From what Steven was told, some tech responded to Gem signatures, detecting gem types through quick scans. He should have known Vivi wouldn't have clearance, even if she was a Gem.

The only thing he could do now is somehow destroy the door. He was annoyed it was made out of the same alloy; suggested by Yellow. However...a idea poked into his head...something about a weakness this material had. Something...something...

Something about heat?

The metal would melt under a great deal of heat. But where would get the heat from? He didn't know where he was exactly and the fact remained that there wasn't really anything that would produce heat. This place was cold enough as it was. So it was either melt the door, or find someone with the clearance to pass.

"The only way I can get out is the normal way, but we need a Gem who's position is enough to satisfy the doors requirements." Steven yelled.

"Or we can melt it..."

Another pause for a moment or two...until more banging presumed.

"Viv?"

"Ahhh shut it, I'm kickin' the damn thing. Might take a while. Don't you have some magical fire kicks in your arsenal too?"

Magical Fire Kicks?

"Uhhh....no?" He said.

Wait.

"How do you do that?"

A loud quake sent Steven back on his behind; the biggest he's heard and felt so far.

"I dunno....I learned how to do it in training?" She said.

"I'm a kickboxing sorta chick ya know."

If Steven had to be honest, he never really paid much attention to it. It sounded cool though. Fire kicks on the other hand. He continued to casually chat with her as she made the kicks every so often and made sure to stand back while Vivi went to work.

"But seriously....you're a Diamond and ya can't break doors? No lasers?"

 _BANG!_ Not that he was aware of.

"I'm uh...more of defensive Gem." He told her, while rubbing the back of his neck and looking sheepish.

"I mean, the specifics of my powers are mostly focused on preservation and endurance."

Didn't mean he couldn't do a lot of damage however. _BANG!_

"I do have offensive attacks, but they usually take advantage of most of my latent defensive abilities."

_BANG!_

"Ah I see." Vivi continued.

"Yellow's the... _BANG!_ offensive one; probably...probably a Warlock?...Blue's gotta be the AoE spell caster _BANG!_ A mage!...White's some kind of Priest I'd say..maybe... _BANG!_. and you're the Paladin."

Steven even more blanks on what the stars she was babbling on about...for a few seconds until he realised she was talking about video games.

"Oh yeah, I see. That makes sense." He acknowledged after much thought. _BANG!_

It'd been forever since he'd touched a game...only that he remembered buying Connie that Hybrid Console before he left.

"Have you seen Connie?"

BANG!

"Nope." Vivi replied.

"She fled the Leviathan...BANG! and we haven't seen her since..."

He closed his eyes, recalling the last thing she did was fire feathers into him and flew off. Shaking his head...he felt condemned all of a sudden...Connie trapped him and flew off and....he had to chalk it up to her corruption surely...that had to be it. 

"Deep down you felt like you deserved her pain." Said Pink Diamond who stood next to him, as he waited for Vivi to break through.

He crossed his arms, surrendering to the company of the madness alongside him quite easily and hoped Vivi won't think worse of him for it.

"I hurt her." He said.

"Even if Connie finds it within herself to forgive me, I won't."

Maybe he was destined for madness. That's what Baseball had been warning him about the entire time. He was the monster after all, the creature so divisive, said to be both cruel and kind, hated and beloved.

"You still rappin' on about that shit?" Vivi said, obviously hearing what he was saying.

_BANG!_

"For fuck sake Steven...I wouldn't want your... _BANG!_ Position but...you didn't cause this directly...blaming yourself isn't gonna get things done faster."

No. That wasn't his idea. He wanted to get this done asap and get everything back to normal. It was Schwarz and her lackeys making this difficult.

"Shit happens... _BANG!_ " She continued.

"She's a fighter. Trust me....there's a part of her in there that holds on so tight to what... _BANG!_ humanity she has left. For her? For you? What ever it takes...she'll continue to do so."

Hold on to what humanity she has remaining...is there a shred worth protecting? Steven wouldn't care if Connie wasn't human. Connie's Connie. That's all that would satisfy Steven in the end.

"Then why did she attack me and leave me to die?" He cried, out of nowhere. Steven gasped, ashamed that somehow slipped out as he covered his mouth with his hands.

_BANG!_

"Bugger if I know." Said Vivi.

_BANG!"_

"Doesn't sound like...oh..."

That sounded like realisation.

"That's gotta be... _shit._.."

That wasn't good either. The banging stopped for the moment.

"You sure that was Connie?"

It had to have been, Steven was certain.

"Gimme a sec....one more hit should do it...stand back."

Doing so, Steven walked back a few paces....and heard one more massive crashing noise that went on for long than expected. The central part of the door itself started glowing hot purple, with a bump growing and next thing Steven saw was a piece of metal barely missing him as he instinctively threw up his shield...and next thing he saw as Vivi barely about to get herself through the gap she created; squeezing her body as she griped about the hole being too small. Once out, she plonked to the floor upside down with tiny oof escaping her lips.

Running over to help her on her feet, Steven instinctively hugged her, much to Vivi's dismay.

"Geez." Vivi squeezed out.

"Alright alright back it up mate. Back it up...."

Steven let her go...but was still grateful for any kind of ally that wasn't his imagination breaking free of his mind again. He wanted to know more about what she was talking about.

"You said, Connie wasn't the one who attacked me?" He asked.

Vivi adjusted herself before replying.

"Well it could have been...but.." She said.

"Celosia didn't detect her presence on the planet we found you on. Nor on this ship. Maybe small energy signatures, but White's Diamond was the largest we saw which made it super obvious and super easy to spot her."

Ship?

"That's...good...and bad..." Steven said. He was glad she wasn't here but at the same time downright worried on where she could have possibly gone too.

"We've got to find her!"

Vivi shook her head, their priorities elsewhere.

"We're here for White Diamond." She revealed.

"Celosia and I have found out she was here. On what she calls the Zoo?"

The Zoo?

"Wait, the Cruise Ship?" He said, remembering when they all came over last time.

"Oh no..."

This was bad.

"Yeah..." Said Vivi as she put her hands into her pockets.

"If Blue and Yellow were being used as Batteries for Schwarz's experiments...then..."

White would be used as well.

"You're right...we have to find her." He said.

"Let's move."

* * *

Squeezing out of the hole. the two navigated their way through the ship. Steven had a bit of experience with the ship and noted that this once belonged to his mother (at the behest of the other Diamonds) and he should technically have access to all parts of the ship. Vivi went on to explain that Celosia and herself had tracked White down to the Central part; where the Crystal Heart was located. With this in mind, the pair walked the surprising empty hallways of the former zoo, but they were surprisingly dark. Once bright and pink and the falsehood of delight adorning its walls, it had the sense of tension and a sinister spice behind it. Still quite cold too.

Steven wondered where the Famethyst, the Rose Quartzes and the Zoomans went. Vivi said when she got here after being dropped off by a Roaming Eye there was no one, let alone a single Gem to greet her. Steven's stomach instantly dropped, the dread itself ever on the increase. It had to have been Schwarz; upon seeing that these wholeheartedly Gems weren't going to be persuaded by her steely will and poisonous influence, she must have poofed them..and that was considered the best case scenario. 

"You said Holly Blue worked here once, right?" Vivi asked.

Of course. Holly had to have handed the Zoo to Schwarz on a silver platter. It had him think about her a lot; the fact that she thrived on the Diamonds status quo for eons was telling...her dedication to their cause most obvious and her hatred of organics and the Amethysts in general were well known...and her boot kissing behaviour to any higher up.

"Yeah. Definitely unhappy with Era 3." Steven told her un-enthusiastically.

It had him wonder what kind of job she could have taken; Nightingales began to fill the hallways; telling him that he should have given Holly an opportunity to work on Earth and despite the disaster from the last time Steven tried allocating jobs for Gems, maybe it was in fact, Gems like Holly who needed that guidance. She had so much potential...like every other Gem.

All Gems, those who hate him, had the potential for greatness...it was just about setting that greatness...

"Surely you wouldn't have had the time to personally deal with every Gem? There's what, billions out there and you've probably reached like, one percent of them." He said.

Higher than that, but he got her point.

"I could have tried." He said.

"The whole point of me on Homeworld was meant to be doing what the other Diamonds couldn't. Being their representative, their negotiator, their Ambassador. To help Gems have their voices heard."

Vivi rolled her eyes.

"Pff..." She said, putting her arm around him.

" _Tried?_ Steven...mate. Take the wise words from me..or Max Lucado; if you want to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd."

What?

"You can't please everyone my dude...gotta remember...these Gems...they refused to listen to your message and want to condone their anger because of what they lost."

But...

"I don't know if they refused to listen." He said.

"But I can say that yeah, Gems like Aquamarine and Eyeball...genuinely hate my guts."

Idealistically he'd loved to get through to them....realistically, however.

"Fuck them then." Vivi said as she slapped his back, much to his surprise.

"They're gonna be fuckwits then let them. They don't want to be your friend then who gives a shit? They cause you trouble? Fuck just...I dunno...instead of shattering then just break them mentally; use psychological tactics or some bullshit...I'm sure you can be super scary if you _REALLY_ wanted to be."

Could he?

"I dunno...I mean, showing an Armada I thought was intimidating enough." He said.

"But they ended up bringing their own..."

Vivi grumbled.

"I mean...seriously...if there's one thing I've learned from Celosia about ourselves, is that we're actually capable of a strong power...and I'm sure Schwarz has it too."

A strong power.

"Like what?" Steven asked.

Vivi grinned devilishly as she stopped walking...and stopped talking. He suddenly shivered as her eyes turned jet black, followed by the whole room turning darker than it already had been. Such a sight had Steven's heart already racing, his eyes looking left to right....before a giant purple shark jumped out of nowhere and tried to swallow him hole; causing him to make a high pierced shrill and put up his bubble, closing his eyes...then waited...then nothing happened; opening his eyes in confusion, and seeing the lighting of the room turn back to normal...with Vivi standing there with her hands behind her back and smiling so innocently.

Steven simply growled with annoyance with Vivi's obvious trickery.

"You didn't have to do that display to frighten the stardust out of me." He criticised.

Vivi giggled.

"Oh but I did, oh fearless Diamond Child." She mocked with a cheery tone.

"For you see...we hold the power of Illusion!"

And she was so proud of it too. When Steven thought about, that must have been Schwarz's power all along. Vivi then cleared her throat, addressing the awkwardness of her childish performance and becoming serious once again.

"But yeah...I reckon together, we could do some serious damage." She continued, then punched a fist into the palm of her other hand.

"You and me...we'll be able to defeat Schwarz I reckon."

Steven still wasn't so sure. He was feeling strong feelings towards Schwarz being the most difficult foe he's had to face. She's subjected him so far to this power of hers. The only issue was that the power itself was potent enough to feed in the false reality it makes and subject Steven himself into this...sad state of affairs. He shouldn't doubt. Not now anyway.

"We'll see. Come on, I think the room is nearby."

The two continued to walk until they found the door they were looking for. The Central Core of the Zoo; the location of the Crystal Heart and hopefully, White Diamond. He placed his hand onto the pad on the right hand side, lighting up the Diamond as the doors slid open. There was a sicking green hue that filled the room from ominous glows within. Entering inside, the lighting itself was at first, scattered but as soon as they walked closer, dozens of lights turned on around them, displaying a horrorfic sight.

Dozens of tubes surrounding the Heart, as well as what was on top of it; White Diamonds Gem encased in some kind of machinery; Bars and the like that protected her and kept her within like it was..

~~A cage.~~

But the tubes of green, bubbling water, as Steven approached the first one, had noticed the black haired man with the tan and a very familiar loincloth. His body was curled up somewhat, his eyes closed and body connected to several wires as well as wearing an oxygen mask.

Steven recognised this person.

"Wy-Six..." He muttered in disbelief.

A throat clogged up with anxiety and pain of realisation.

"No..."

Next to him...the blonde woman...Jay-Ten. All of the tubes...Vivi stood next to him and held herself and squinted...then gasped.

"I...I know what these are." She said.

"I...they're Liquid Preservation Tubes...they're meant for..."'

Looking at the console before him, it had a status of Wy-Six; and a small icon that was mapped out on his chest.

"They're incubators." Steven said, as his eyes widened. 

Vivi tapped on his shoulder....and he noticed the room was filled with these tubes...the Zoomans...

"Schwarz is using them all to make more gems."

_clink..._

Not a bang, but a simple whisper indicated the change of the air glow, the atmosphere that surrounded them. For Steven, especially when such a concept was unforgivable enough to have that sudden shift in his brain. Panic fled from him and it was replaced by an anger so fierce he felt into his pink state...but then he closed his eyes and made a tight fist as he started to shake, going into his Perfect Form and growing larger. So much was channelled into him as his psyche had great difficulty processing what he was seeing. He could have fallen to his knees in despair but...

He noticed Vivi's knees going inwards and wobbling about; putting on her hood as she shook like she was freezing. The purple Gem looked deathly afraid of what she was seeing.

"I...I..." She said.

She was one of them...she'd been a victim of this and must have had all the bad memories flush back into her head. Doing a complete 180 to how she was acting...

"We have to blow this place up." She suggested, out of the blue.

He blinked.

"What?"

Vivi swallowed, wrapping her arms around herself.

"These people don't deserve this. They have to die...it's better that way than to fuel Schwarz's schemes even further."

No...there has to be another way.

"These are humans Vivi..." Steven pointed out.

"We can possibly save them!"

Vivi scrunched her face, the agony written all over it as she appeared awfully pale.

"They're t-too far in advance....." She revealed.

"The console indicates they're only days away from emerging. We're too late."

Gazing upon Schwarz's latest victims, Steven could only imagine the only Gem that wasn't Schwarz that had done this...and luck would have it, the door opened on the far side which had the aformentioned Gem walk through it, humming and nonchalant.

Her heels clicked the metal as she had her eyes closed....only to open them and blink twice, gasping in horror as she could see Steven and Vivi before her.

"Oh Steven!" She said, incredibly nervous.

"So good to see you!"

Something clicked within Steven's brain, faster than light itself. His rage spread like heat into his body, causing him to shoot forward with his super speed and not hesitating to push Holly Blue against the nearby wall with a mighty thump that made a crater upon the forceful impact. Holly grunted as Steven held her tightly against the wall with her hands still behind her back...a move that somehow shocked Vivi with it's suddeness and an action she least expected him acting on. He wasn't shaking; only the look of disappointment was all she could factor from his current expression. So still, calm on the surface but she could sense the almighty power fueled by his hatred and disgust. He'd been unpredictable so far, always leaving her guessing on his actions at times. But this surprised her the most.

"Oh...my Diamond please...I didn't-"

"Save it Holly." He said, voice deeper, lower and calm but filled with venom. His pace was steady, but the energy input was massive and painful to Holly due to the close proximity; exuding more magic than Holly could possibly take; for a Quartz, no less.

"Where...is Schwartz?"

Just from that alone had Holly quivering. 

"I...I don't know..." She stammered, tears rolling down her face.

Vivi couldn't do anything but watch it unfold...and was witnessing the sheer amount of terror Steven emitted from this alone; she even felt his aura from where she was standing and it was downright stronger than she had ever felt it to be.

A hand went to the back of her head...where her tear drop shaped was, and put the tips of his fingers around the edges ever so lightly. Holly stopped sobbing as her eyes widened, shaking in despair.

"You...you wouldn't."

Steven became apathetic to her plight. Why he didn't care what he was doing or why he was actually doing it; if Holly stood in line, then there wouldn't be a problem.

"Holly...I know how much you hate humans." Steven said casually, but in a way that sent shivers up ones spine, the tone of poise that rubbed Holly the wrong way.

"I know how much you hate me...and the fact that I took all the power away from you. You did not give me a chance to speak to you; there's so many Gems out there Holly; maybe in a thousand years I would hope you would wait for me."

Vivi could only stand there and realise this was her doing. She didn't mean for this to happen. What had she done???

" _I_..." Holly stammered.

"I _love_ the Diamonds...I never got orders!"

_Never?_

"You could have reached them at any time...reached for me. Made an appointment like everyone else."

Holly bit her lip as she couldn't speak any longer...which had Steven begin to gently squeeze her Gem which caused Holly to cry a bit harder from the sting.

"But no. Instead, you allow this depravity to happen before me. Using my people. These innocent humans didn't deserve this Holly."

And he tightened his grip a little more...

_crack._

A small fracture appeared on the bottom left of her gem, which caused her body to glitch out briefly.

"No...no...please don't...don't _do_ this..." She wailed, blubbering like a lost child.

"I..."

Steven raised an eyebrow.

"I'm listening." He said.

Holly swallowed again, her forehead against the wall as she struggled to breath; even though she didn't need to.

"Schwarz...Schwarz came to visit. I don't know _how_ but...but she came to the Zoo one day and wanted to borrow some resources...when...when she said that I'm like, under who's authority? She...she's like SCHWARZ...I'm...I'm like I...I don't know any Gem known as Schwarz......then White Diamond of all Gems appears next....next to her and demands these humans..."

Why would White? Unless...

"You sure that was White?" Vivi called out.

Holly began to sob before she could speak; and Steven was getting impatient; squeezing once more.

_crack..._

Another one on the top right now and Holly's legs literally turned to large strings of spaghetti.

"I don't know, who else could it be-eb ti dlouc esle ohw wonk t'nod I."

She was speaking gibberish now. Steven squinted...and before his eyes he reflected Amethyst...Amethyst and the crack on her Gem...how she went weird and the fountain and...

~~Oh Steven, you don't have healing tears. You'll never have any real magic powers, and we don't want anything more to do with you.~~

Steven winced at hearing Pearls voice echoing in his head and tried to shake it off.

"Schwarz was manipulating her..." Vivi said.

"This is the power to fabricate lies Steven. She's most likely been seeding in similar methods to persuade others to her side."

He figured that. Schwarz was really good at it too.

"Holly." Steven muttered; with every time Steven used her name it would garner her utmost attention and focus like her life depended on it.

"I will give you a _single_ chance to make up to us."

He licked his hand and slapped the saliva onto her Gem; healing her with a few short moments. She was back to normal and Steven let go of her as she'd fallen to the ground, absolutely terrified.

"Stand up." He ordered.

Within a split second Holly was standing up and giving him the Diamond Salute, demonstrating a false smile. Steven had to fix that as he forcibly, as Holly let him, moving one hand above her head and the other flat against the side of her body.

"This is the only salute I want to see from now on; understand?"

She nodded.

"Yes...yes My Diamond...of-of course....what are your orders sir?"

Steven did not smile. Not once.

"I need to go find the Gems on the ship. Free them. Then head to the docks. Go. NOW!"

The Agate quickly nodded, running off faster than he'd ever seen her run. But at least she was listening now, even if it did take some harsh convincing. A part of Steven felt horrible for doing so, but more disturbingly, a part of him felt good in dominating her in such a way. He didn't understand why it felt that good either. This was wrong. Definitely so. But there was a lot of genuine, real power behind it. If he could but follow through...

"Geez Steven that was fucking cold as ice." Vivi commented.

"I didn't mean..."

He looked back at her; instilling a similar sense of fear down to her core. Was he always this terrifying?

"You still think blowing up this place is gonna solve this problem?" He asked, disregarding her comments.

Vivi purposed her lips, before looking on the tubes again.

"Look...these are her prizes. We can take White back to the Fleet so we can wake her up and explain the situation. She is our priority number one."

That she was.

"But the fact remains. These humans are going to die _anyway._..there's not a lot we can do for them. Those Gems cannot be allowed to emerge while Schwarz is still around. So unless we can freeze them..."

Steven looked around and back to the main console; taking Vivi's suggestion in account. One, he did not want the Zoomans to die. But Vivi was right. It was only a matter of time until the Gems they had were fully grown. Should Steven save them the agony of losing themselves? Or shut them out off entirely with a well placed self-destruction sequence.

"Vivi, see if you can't disconnect White from up there." He ordered.

Vivi nodded, doing so.

"Aye aye sir." She said with her own salute.

"I docked a Roaming Eye in the lower docks. If you're gonna do somethin', make sure to give it like, 10 minutes or so."

He watched as Vivi went to work on disconnecting White as commanded, While Steven navigated the systems for alternate solutions. Because killing them seemed too harsh and that anyone dying...or being shattered in Baseballs case, had Steven livid. He didn't want this or ask for it. But it happened.

Bad things that just happened left and right, where ever Steven looked; a pile of bad luck and devastation on each and every path taken. He kind of wished he had Garnets advice...but no...he was here. He was the Diamond; the one in charge of all of this. Lives lost because of the cruelty of another human-borne. He wiped the sweat from his face; his form fading back to normal as conflicts took place in his mind again.

"This is something no amount of spit or tears can fix." Said Diamond Steven as he stood behind the Admiral as he typed.

"Don't you think I know that?" Steven muttered, making sure he was out of Vivi's ear shot.

"These are good people. Connie was hard enough but..."

His fingers began to shake as they hovered about the console; with tear drops falling to the screen.

"Maybe you can just let the Gem versions live." Younger Steven suggested.

"It's better than them not living at all. I mean, Vivi seems to be doing alright. She's not a bad Gem."

He had a point. Vivi lived her life and so did Celosia. They weren't their humans but they were still people. His mothers voice, went by his ears.

~~You're going to be something extraordinary. You're going to be a human being.~~

They already were human; but they were doing the reverse now. And it made Steven feel deathly ill about it all, the same way. This was a lot worse simply because there was a lot more involved. He would only hope; that they could forgive him.

"I don't want Schwarz getting her grimy fingers on them." Steven said.

Eventually he heard White's Gem tumbled down and onto the ground with a loud thunk. Steven winced as he clutched his shirt by his Gem.

"Woops." He heard Vivi say, before she jumped down. She examined the Giant Gem carefully.

"She's alright, she's alright."

Steven sighed with relief. Wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve, Steven looked at Wy-Six and Jay-Ten carefully. Going back to the console, Steven had something he didn't seen before...Flash-freeze. Blinking, this could be the temporary solution he was looking for...but...it was only ever that... a short term answer.

"Viv..." He said, as she dusted her hands and picked up White Diamond.

"I'll freeze them for now...but...you know...what they leave behind is going to be important. They're still humans in soul...even if they're not who they were before."

Vivi looked away for a moment, then back to Steven.

"If that's what you sincerely think Steven, I can't say no." She said.

"Besides, it'd be good to have brothers and sisters I could look after."

Steven smiled. At least she was seeing the positive side to it all. He typed in the command itself and one by one, each of the tubes evolved to be freezing solid; protecting them and preventing the Gem growth from going any further. He made sure to place in protective measures to only unlock on Stevens Command; saving the trouble in case Schwarz wanted to return. But as he did so, the butterflies began to emerge once more, from behind the tubes themselves...and the Nightingales were on the ground, pecking it.

The measures taken weren't favourable but this was his burden to bare. He will incite hatred unintentionally but this wasn't exactly anything he could have helped prevent earlier. Forgiveness should not be anticipated. Tolerance, perhaps. Anything for that small shred of hope and light despite how heavy-handed it had become. The choices never easy. Somewhere Steven still felt like he was at fault when he wasn't. He could have done more more, but he couldn't.

What they did have is White...and all Diamonds accounted for. Only, that Connie was still missing somewhere. So curing her right now wasn't going to happen. No. He had to find Schwarz; his next priority.

"We better move..." Said Vivi.

"What are we gonna do about Holly?"

Good question.

"She will come with us." He said, hoping the other Diamonds will needle information out of her.

"But the Famethyst and the Rose Quartzes will need to remain on this station to protect it."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the deep vastness of space, after non-stop travelling and hitch hiking on a random ship or two, Connie could see Earth in the distance...

She hoped, that she wasn't too late...


	34. The Undesirable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven has a talk with Vivi.

So much was going on, it was making Steven's head spin. In his roomn of cold and pink, with the window of stars that screened on by...he was so twisted up and tried so hard to keep it all together. His jacket on the chair in the corner of the room, his debates raged on with what he he had done, what he could have done and what he should have done.

Once everything at the Zoo was finalised, including unbubbling the Gems stationed there, Steven had gone back to the Leviathan. He ordered several under his command to relay orders to them as he had other matters to care of and did not want to see any of the Famethyst or the Rose Quartzes at this point. So Steven waited until White reformed before speaking with her, all the while, a storm brewed over everything Schwarz had said. Regarding her creation and subsequent lies that hit a certain threshold. Blue and Yellow didn't say much but he had to wonder what they were really thinking.

White knew Pink was alive all this time and never bothered to follow up on it...which, when Steven thought about it, White herself was never punished for all she had done...to his mother...to him. His focus was all over the place right now and having made communications with old allies did make things easier and befriending enemies was an old skill Steven was glad he still had. He thought he'd lost his touch but for now.

He'd preserved Baseballs shards into a small box. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he peered into said box. Orders were that he wasn't to be disturbed unless the message came to him that White was back...but his mind hinged on a thousand ideas and the most prominent that came with having all four Diamonds was restoring Connie...and that he could save Baseball, but...

Saving Baseball would have appeared crazy. She was one of the pioneers of his downfall, advocating the torment that came with his corruption. She was the main player at the time, but, like most of Gem kind, there was the sheer influence of another that had persuaded them to do that.

Part of him was angry with her the same was he was angry with the Diamonds. Pragmatism was crucial until they were out of the woods...but Steven had a lot more work to do, stuck in the dead centre, unable to free himself, even if he wanted to. Because Connie was lost out there...

"She left because she couldn't stand to see you like this." Said young Steven as he sat next to him.

And these...Ghosts/Gods/Hallucinations...still figures into his madness. He never actually told Sandra he was seeing this again...the parts of himself, trying to sort through the muck of his messy brain. 

"Connie hates me because I wanted to punish White? Because I wanted to be a Diamond?" The Admiral argued.

Diamond Suit Steven leaned against the wall, his judgement the most powerful of all of them.

"You almost shattered Holly Blue." He commented, crossing his arms.

No he didn't.

"I _cracked_ her." Steven corrected.

"I had no intention of shattering, you know that."

Holly Blue herself was due to be interrogated. She would most likely fall in line, since her previous fervour regarding the Diamonds would possibly still stand. Emerald was doing well so far, under Yellow's watchful eye. So too, would Holly under Blue's.

"The simple concept of bringing harm to another would be something Connie would frown upon. You know how distraught she was-"

Steven didn't want to hear this story, closing the box and standing up from the bed.

"I _know!_ " He called out, frustrated. Running a hand through his hair, Steven did not wish to debate this.

"But _no one_ is getting the message. This is Era 3. We've made multiple attempts to reach out to people, the civil way and there are Gems out there that _refuse_ to listen!"

Steven did not wish to harm people if he could help it. Hurting Bismuth, hurting Eyeball and originally failing to save Jasper all weighed upon him like most other incidents. Like White pulling out his gem; the one that stood out the most that he could define was the reason his chest would ache in her presence.

"Connie was right to leave." Younger Steven said, looking up sadly at his current counterpart.

"Steven Universe isn't...."

" _SHUT UP!_ "

...

The room was suddenly empty, save for the Admiral standing there, gritting his teeth and yelling at the air. Why was this so hard for people to understand? He tried everything. He knew he did...and it hurt Steven as much to do these things. Oxygen appeared scarce as Steven started to hyperventilate. His heart began to race as he turned pink. The box dropped to the bed as Steven fell to his knees, put his hands on the back of his head, crying into the soft blanket.

"I didn't _want_ to crack her..." He croaked.

"I didn't _want_ to shatter her...I didn't want to hurt anyone...but..."

He had to get a point across...but the only thing that Steven believed, was that he crossed the line instead. He wasn't Steven Universe anymore. He hadn't been in a long time. He was a Diamond and Diamonds were ruthless and strong. And Steven Universe was too weak, too stupid and too naive to think that it was all going to go down like he wanted to. He figured that the Spinel Incident was a once off but...now he's seen more than he's had to, his true eyes opening to the reality of sentient species.

Blaming Schwarz was just half of it and Connie had mentioned to him that putting blame on these situations wasn't going to fix the issue at hand. Steven could move on if he tried a little harder, surely.

A knock on the door had intruded his thoughts. 

"Hey Stevo."

It was Vivi. Oddly enough, with her jacket unzipped, revealing her shining gem on her stomach.

"I know you ordered someone to come annoy you if White's emerged, but I needed to speak with you. If that's okay."

Lifting his head...he figured he could use the distraction for now as all the self-hatred had come to the surface once again. Getting up and sitting up on the bed again, Steven had to make himself look presentable and did not wish to show any signs of his breakdown. Especially to Vivi.

"Sure."

She came in, eyes widened at Steven, evident with her attempt to suppress it with her pursed lips.

"Close the door."

Doing so, slowly, and quietly, Vivi sat down next to him, his eyes focused on the blank pink wall in front of him, his hands in his lap. An air of awkwardness, if Vivi could detect his situation, putting the lid on the boiler as it was proved nearly impossible...but it was that legendary restraint of the standard Steven not to get peeved. Once upset by her humaness; he didn't realise how much he needed it...and it made him miss Connie even more.

"What did ya wanna talk about?" He asked.

Vivi had her hands under her legs, slouched as her eyes were on the carpet.

"I dunno." She said.

"I needed to be away from everyone else. The only other human person on this ship right now is you...and I think you'll understand more than anyone here how much more you can take from glimpses of blank faces, following commands like robots."

Gems did have personalities. They were also very good listeners and doers when told to do something. That was their whole functionality.

"That's their nature." Steven told her.

And his aim was to get them out of that static lifestyle, but when they were put back into old habits, they would sink in so easily.

"What about Spinel? She's not blank _. Faaaaar_ from it."

Vivi snorted.

"She's got a mind of a seven year old." She said.

"I don't want to deal with children."

Fair enough. Spinel was a handful, even at the best of times.

"Celosia and I were trying to track down Connie but she's somehow blanketed herself."

Blanketed?

"But...I think that's also possibly the main reason why we can't find Schwarz. Our Gem type can somehow make itself invisible to each other if we wanted it to be. Could have used something like that while growing up."

Steven paused. Vivi's own past was a mess as it was as he assumed. Not wanting to touch a sore spot, he avoided upsetting her by refraining from questioning too much. She might have been a rough one, but she had rough life...and for what Steven could admit to himself, but not to her, that she was the most human on board this ship right now. There was a certainty, in the uncertainty that Steven questioned his own humanity, more so than he had ever asked himself a million times before.

"That doesn't make our lives easier but it's something." Steven said, as he exhaled loudly.

Though Schwarz was human too. She was the one to shape the Second and Third Rebellions for what they were. In the shadows, pulling grey strings on faces once again.

"I figure she's what, thousands of years old?" Vivi said.

"And she must have like this incredible wealth of knowledge about our powers in general. And seeding herself in human communities, fooling them to think she's one of them."

 _Fooling them to think she's one of them_...Steven could feel his heart breaking in two with those words. He daren't show it however.

She's had all this time to herself; plotting and planning her revenge.

"But..as we all know." She continued, leaning back as she moved her hands behind her, leaning back as she cross her legs and stared at the roof.

"Human nature can be just as toxic." 

Steven was beginning to believe that now more so...but...there were those...

~~ORANGE SHADES OF DOUBT~~

"And Gems? Gems are a gullible, stubborn species. They're literally coded into these beliefs from birth. As for us? We're still a part of the ones that made us."

Steven could relate, putting his hand to where his Gem was underneath his shirt.

"Part of me was...kind of glad you didn't kill the humans in the incubators." She said, then began laughing to herself.

"Isn't that weird?"

Not at all. He couldn't bring himself to do that. The part of Steven Universe that reached out of him...that just couldn't do it. He could have been the one to end it all...or try a third option, even if the inevitable outcome was something he wouldn't want in any situation. A part of humanity, worth holding on to. A part...thought to be lost...

"Not all of humanity is like that." Steven told her.

"Toxic, I mean...there are good people worth knowing and protecting. It's just that some of us have to do the hard jobs because no one else can."

And still fail and make mistakes along the way.

"I can appreciate that." Vivi said, adjusting herself for what ever uncomfortable reason spurned her.

"I called you a saint. Perfect people, without a governing flaw other than their kindness, generosity and perceived inability to do anything wrong."

Steven definitely was not a saint in the slightest.

"But those same people are still capable of lying, cheating and stealing...and other horrible things. They just don't admit it...and they cover the evidence, blinding people to the truth that they're just like everyone else."

Which is how she must have seen people normally. He imagine if she had only just met his mother and wondered what she would think of her at first glace as Rose Quartz; and as Pink Diamond.

"Who do you define to be a good person then?" Steven asked.

A smirk gripped her, while she lightly bounced her leg.

"Good people, bad people...it's hard to say." She answered.

"But I prefer to categorise people not by their integrity, but by their honesty. It's like a spectrum. People can hide the truth, mask it...that's the core nature of humanity vs Gems."

But Gems were definitely capable of lying...especially his mom, White Diamond and _especially_ Schwarz.

"Not everyone likes the truth. Raw...sugar coated. We're shackled by the flaws of set morals. What happens when your morals are broken by somebody else who has a set of their own?"

Now they were really getting deep.

"I'd like to think there is still good in people." Steven told her.

"Or least, draw it out. Even if they're not good...they can do good."

But what hurt him more...was those who continued to do bad, despite how Steven had worked so hard otherwise. He leaned forward and looked at his quaking hands that had almost shattered a Gem.

"It frustrates me...I give people chances. I want..."'

He felt Vivi's hand go into his as she took to the space on the bed between them, much to his surprise.

"Would you give Schwarz those same chances?" She asked.

Would he? Steven wasn't sure.

"I wouldn't." She continued, her anger apparent.

"She's ruined so many lives."

So did the Diamonds.

"If I had my way, I would kill her. But I'm not that naive to think that succumbing to that extent would solve all our problems."

That's definitely Steven had to agree with.

"I suspect you're one to think that...want that. But your code demands you to think otherwise."

To kill...no...no....Vivi noticed the distress on his face as he looked aimlessly forward, saddened by her assumption.

"I...don't want to kill or shatter." He said, creating a fist and slamming into his lap.

"Schwarz is no worse than what the Diamonds did."

And it made the idea of what the Diamonds had inflicted on organic life being more horrible than he realised. What was really lost in their conquest? Steven had been completely ignorant to the consequences of their long term planning. Or lack there of regarding worlds no longer viable, being hollowed out until they were but a husk of their former selves...and all the life just...gone. Steven didn't' want to think about it.

"And do you want to the shatter them?" Vivi dared to ask.

No...

Maybe...

Maybe White?

Ants began appear on the floor again...he knew what was coming.

" _No!_ " He said, stomping his foot on the ground, causing Vivi to retract as it shook, expression of astonishment. He took a deep breath and covered his face with his hands, ashamed.

"I mean..."

Vivi liked honesty.

"Don't." She said, taking a moment to calm down herself.

"I understand."

She did? Vivi took Steven's hands into her own, twisting her upper body to him as she forced him to face her. She said nothing until Steven bothered to look into her eyes. They were cold, but there was no orange within them. Only fire.

"I haven't told anyone this but..." She said, her voice becoming lower and calmer.

"I have a raging hate against my...adoptive father so to speak."

A word his father did not like Steven using. She's mentioned this distaste to him before...but this looked like this was going to have a deeper meaning and explanation.

"I wanted to _kill_ him for what he did to Miranda...for what he did to me."

From what Steven knew of him, he was an alcoholic. He noticed a tear form from her right eye, watching it slowly fall down her cheek. Now she had issue in looking at him in the eyes.

"I was simply a freak to him....he said he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public. Told I was..."

The tone Steven could understand; the fracture of tone to lead to the croaking distress, as she sniffed, swallowed and licked her lips.

"Worthless...and every time he would have a little too much to drink and he would."

She didn't deserve that. What a horrible person...Steven wiped a tear from her eye as she talked.

"Fucking...break glass and plates...then get the baseball bat...and that's not _even_ the worst of it..."

With the tiniest bits of rage that boiled within Steven upon the words not said. She'd said enough...and had difficulty trying to get the words out. 

"Viv..." Steven uttered, his empathy for her plight immense.

"If it wasn't me it was Mum." She said.

"I know that asshole never saw me as his daughter...and I don't even know why I even why I call him Dad."

It explained a great deal however...Vivi and her general distrust in people.

"I'm really sorry Vivi...you and your mom should never have gone through that." He said, holding her hands tighter. Looking at her Gem...and thinking about shattering and breaking...and seeing her face as he cracked Holly's Gem...he finally understood. Such a display should have never occurred, especially in front of her...not to mention Baseball's remains in the box behind them.

"I know..." She sniffed.

"It goes on for years...until Mum one day got the courage to stand up to him and divorced him...and we never saw him again."

Good riddance then...but it still made Steven feel awful for his behaviour on the Zoo. He was never able to shake off the sight of terror in her eyes.

"Vivi..."Steven said, his anxiety flaring up.

"If what I did to Holly had anything to do..."

Words halted by a purple hand to stop Steven from going further, shaking her head.

"No...I mean...yeah..." She said, rubbing her arm and holding herself in.

"But...it's not your fault...you didn't know."

It didn't matter. Steven hurt her.

"I'm dangerous." He admitted firmly.

"I'm a Diamond...capable of as equally hurtful things as any of the others."

Vivi looked to the side and pursed her lips.

"Yeah...I agree." She said.

"But you have a human heart. It's in there. Full of it's own desires, strengths, weaknesses. I think....out of everything I've come across so far...you...and Connie...have been the most patient and understanding."

Perhaps. He knows Connie is but Steven wasn't so sure about himself right now.

"You want to use your powers for good. I get that. A stain on your name is not what you need. I'm a nobody compared to the rest of Gem kind. If you need me to do any dirty work what so ever, I'm your..."

She looked to her side.

"Gem..."

Steven blinked. Surely she was joking...

"I don't think I'll need anything like that." He said, scratching his head.

"But I appreciate your offer anyway. We just have to hope that the situation doesn't call for such drastic measures."

It better not. He'd rather just poof Schwarz and bubble her and that had to be the worst case scenario.

It just had to.

"But yeah...I'm really sorry for what I did..."

Vivi shirked, not wanting to talk about it further.

"No...don't." She said.

But...

"Apologies won't save it Steven. I'm far from angry with you specifically. I'm angry at myself...I told you to be scary but I didn't think you'd take me seriously."

He wasn't certain that's what triggered him to crack Holly to begin with. Maybe it was...a subtle encouragement that continued to whisper suggestions in his head from others. Subconscious desires to afflict it as such.

"But the most important part is that it got Holly Blue on our side. Under strict observation obviously."

Yeah, but at what cost?

"There had to be another way to persuade her." He said, scratching his face...his anxiousness apparently growing in his jittery manner, his mindset making leeway for any excuse to be better.

"I...if I had more time or..."

It was then he was subject to a warm body clashing with his and arms around his body. His eyes widened, not expecting the gesture. Meanwhile, Vivi's eyes squeezed shut, noticeably uncomfortable, but refused to show that to him.

"Shut up." She said, with tears rolling freely now, enduring with a small smile.

"You feel disgusted in yourself. Yes.. _.yes_ I know exactly what that feels like in many ways..."

Among other dilemmas...Steven found himself lightly resting his hands on her back, to which she shivered as she felt them, but hadn't pulled away. Steven opened his mouth to say more, but failed to find the words he had wished to convey. Vivi lingered, holding him like others have in the past. Like the Gems, his father, Connie, Volley...this warmth meant everything to him, no matter who hugged him. The most human...

Vivi pulled back first, her hands sliding themselves to Steven's shoulders as her face was awfully close. Steven wasn't sure what was going on right now, his head spinning yet again with the torment of a thousand emotions, threatening to tear him apart. Though, he had found himself in the eye of the storm for that matter, unable to pick and choose what he wanted to feel in that moment.

In the confusion, Vivi's face got closer and the unconscious behaviour Steven had him closing his eyes, feeling a soft wetness on his lips. It was striking, unfamiliar...and outright messing with him more than he wanted it to be. Their Gems began to glow in that moment until...

_KNOCK KNOCK._

Vivi pulled herself away first, her attention solely zoned in on the door, meanwhile, Steven had no understanding of what just happened, but as the timing of the knocks had given him something else to focus on.

"Who is it?" He asked, voices croaked.

"It's Volleyball." She said.

Ah.

"Come in." He said.

The Pearl opened the door, surprised to see Vivi in there who gotten off the bed to lean against the door. She nodded towards the purple Gem, whom had crossed her arms and looked away.

"What's the sitrep?" Steven requested, his manner of professionalism superseding all else.

Volley didn't want to acknowledge the obvious elephant in the room of how tense the atmosphere seemed to be, but the slight pause was noticeable enough for her to suspect something, but not speak a word of it.

"White's returned, if you want to see her." She answered in her usual, kind, reserved way.

A flicked switch in motion; Steven had simply, without hesitation, got up and got his jacket and slid it on. He made sure to take Baseballs shards with him, with the hopes of restoring her form so they could talk properly. As tense as it was, it was necessary for Steven to put his Diamond face on to deal with the dangers ahead. Cracking his neck and his knuckles.

"Good, I want Yellow and Blue as a part of this meeting." He ordered, then looked at the ashamed Vivi, refusing to look at him in the eye.

"Viv...continue searching for Connie with Celosia."

The purple Gem forced herself off the wall to stand up straight, saluting him but otherwise saying nothing else, before running out the door. Steven took a deep breath, as Volley helped adjust his jacket further and tidied his hair; something he'll only let so few people do for him. Not that he'd ever ask for it, he was told to let people fuss over him from time to time, for his own good. So he tolerated Volley's nature to look after him like that.

"Everything alright?" She asked.

His focus was somewhere new now, with White back in the picture. He could finally get the ball rolling regarding all this nonsense about Schwarz and finally being to getting the upper hand against the rebellion.

"No." He admitted.

"But it will be. Let's go."

* * *

Meanwhile Vivi had locked herself into a random dark storage room, huddled her legs close to her chest. Her heard fell into her knees, rocking herself back and forth and cried heavily. She berated herself for her actions just now, after everything she just told him was served to make him feel better and perhaps herself, but a moment of weakness just made it a lot worse than it had to be, cursing herself constantly. A human heart she had was still a massive imprint; only serving to be a massive burden yet again.

"You fucking idiot!" She shrieked to herself.

"What the fuck did you just do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vivi, Vivi....tsk tsk


	35. The Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven's impact on people has him noticing it more so.

What ever had cursed him into this situation, certainly couldn't have foreseen how screwed up this become.

Steven had White sitting on the far end of the long table in War Room; Yellow to his left and Blue to his right. Steven could imagine the tension itself could be felt throughout the ship with all four Diamonds situated on the Leviathan. Steven told Volleyball unless there's an emergency, that _no one_ was going to bother them at all. At the head of the table, Steven sat with his arms on the armrests on a chair that might as well have been his throne. Visually small, radiating a power from with that was meant to intimidate and somehow, it was felt on both Yellow and Blue, despite Steven having no deeper quarrels with either Diamond.

In their minds, Steven had grown into something else entirely. So they would fear their passing judgement would make a negative impact at this point, mostly idle in his presence. Only Steven Diamond had that energy these days. An existence that called attention, called respect and admiration. Dark shades of those than anything he's ever had shown in the past. Given the last occasion he was in a leadership type position, things ended badly and Yellow and Blue were very much aware that a Steven on edge was a very dangerous one, but said nothing out of uncertain expectations that he would retaliate. 

Though the Admiral was in a much more favourable position than he was prior, it was difficult for him to know that if he had been on that downward spiral once again, thriving to restore the order to the chaos that was his platitude of thinking. He was angry, annoyed, frustrated. The only difference was that he didn't have to pretend that he wasn't and all that suppression of all that he had struggled to keep rising to the surface, was no longer necessary. People knew how he could be but yet, he didn't want his Gems to fear him. He only wanted them to listen and that those who could truly understand that pain, like Volleyball, could come to his aid. But the incident with Holly Blue kept trickling back to him and the concern was that the Admiral was a form that had even less restraints to questionable acts...and that Lars advice to 'be controversial' still stuck with him like a settled concrete to this day.

Right now, the only thing Steven wanted was answers. Answers to questions that had grown like parasites on his mind, nagging him to ask White. She herself was well reserved, oddly cheerful for what ever reason. Thankful, Steven would assume, that she was able to saved from Schwarz's clutches. Blue had Holly put to work on her ship, similar to how Emerald was being monitored on Yellow's Ship. His display of force was well enough to get her to submit back into the Authorities merciful graces.

Steven had to reserve his patience, once again. One step at a time. They pulled White up to speed on the current scenario they had themselves at and she herself was bewildered with everything that unfolded thus far.

"Oh my that does appear to be rather disturbing." She said, having spent a moment absorbing it all in.

That was a definite understatement. Steven had yet to reveal one thing to her, however.

"Schwarz told me you made her." He said; with a tone so low, it didn't sound like him at all at first.

"I'm hesitant to trust what she says, but I expect you to be able to clarify that for me."

There was most certainly a rage festering in Steven's heart. The Admiral was professional just like Diamond of Business, his words carefully selected. He did not wish to antagonise but he had the right to critique White as he saw fit. And he could see her slight measure of discomfort, looking at both Yellow and Blue as they sat there, also awaiting for her response. Only, that then, the silence became the most damning thing.

"Using organic life to incubate a Gem. I want to hear your comments."

Blinking, it was a topic White must have not expected to talk about, or like the other Diamonds, miraculously forgot about it. Secrecy was a Diamond power heralded by all.

"Well. I um..." She stuttered.

Steven wasn't finished though. His sentences continued to rest in the slight monotone but the boom of his intentions behind them could still be felt.

"You had her monitor Mom. You knew Mom was alive for thousands of years, while Yellow and Blue were left in the dark and you allowed them to suffer."

And when White went pink, she started to shrivel and withdraw into herself.

"Now Schwarz has created more. She used your method to produce two more of her line. Celosia, Vivi..."

White put her hands in front of her, struggling to look Steven in the eyes...now the butterflies were on her shoulders. Unconsciously, Steven wanted her just in line as the other two and wasn't afraid to use venom as part of his mind games to do so.

"And worst yet...Connie..." _My Pet_." Maheswaran....as well as all the Zoomans. Tell me White...I need to know it all. And I will _know_ if you're lying."

He didn't seen Yellow and Blue look at each other, unable to shake the horror on how calm yet strange Steven was sounding right now. He had White on the fringe of cowering; which is where he wanted her to be. Putting a fist to her mouth, she cleared her throat and tried to put on a mantle of dignity and poise before speaking. All of the other Diamonds focus were on her now...and the pressure was on.

"I was the only one to think; that a war started by a rogue Gem like a Rose Quartz was strange." She said.

"And on top of that, I _knew_ Pink would fail. I never stepped in because I wanted Pink to see the failure first hand. Given that Rose Quartzes were made by Pink; they take to a personality very similar to their main creator."

So she connected dots.

"But I didn't want to things to get out of hand. First off, Pink for what reason eluded me, at that time, adored organic life forms. Blue created the zoo for her and the Gardens and Spinel. Craving into her wishes and indulgences was something that we should have never catered to her in the first place."

And the shame was brought on Blue and Yellow in particular, as Steven noted on brief glimpses.

"Pink is a bit of a trickster and I could always see through every trick she created. I mean, this, Rose Quartz had a very distinguished Pearl. The custom made one, no matter what form she took, is easily defined by her Gems quality. No other Pearl was made like her."

Pearl was a distinguished Gem for her making. 

"Wars a war. We've fought wars with organics plenty of times, as Yellow would note." She continued, gesturing to her fellow Diamond.

"But Pink is Pink...so of course she's going to play a game; it is just like her...and often, to get Pink to act accordingly, you have to occasionally, _break_ some of her toys."

A statement that had Blue gasp.

"You _willingly_ used a human to grow a Gem just to prove a point?" The diplomatic Diamond asked, astonished.

White then zoned in on Yellow.

"And Yellow grew the Cluster inside the Earth, using Gem Shards for her experiments. How is that any different?" The Bigger Diamond put forth, placing her brethren on a pedestal of re-honed accusations.

Steven looked to his left, as Yellow gulped. The discourse was apparent.

"At the time, I wanted the Earth to be destroyed." She explained.

"It was nothing more than a scar of our...failures."'

White had a point though. Yellow was just as guilty. She could see Steven's look of disappointment and felt awful.

"But...before all of this, after you left Homeworld Steven, I was repairing Gems. Acquiring the Shards and trying to find every piece."

That was something at least. It didn't repair what she did but it was a step in the right direction.

"It doesn't make up for you did to them." He told her.

"But I appreciate some efforts being undertaken to fix up the damage you did."

Yellow nodded. She was cold at times, but in the end, Steven figured, her emotions had gotten the better of her. Losing Pink was indeed devastating and the turmoil had lead them to do drastic actions in the name of revenge...but this also tied back to White; if she had but told them.

"But Schwarz..." Steven continued, getting them back on track.

"Schwarz is our biggest threat because you didn't monitor her as well as you thought you did. You could have stepped in at _any_ time to stop this...instead you let everything get worse."

White growled in frustration.

"Revealing Pink as Rose would have had us seen as an embarrassment." She revealed.

"A Diamond leading the charge against all of us? She would have had more Gems to her side because of her toxic influence."

Steven raised an eyebrow. He always knew White still had this understated attitude no matter how hard Steven tried to help them change their ways. What was once hidden, buried deep had come back to the surface like nothing had even changed over the last few years. How foolish was he to think White would still be easily persuaded as such.

"You were _afraid_ to lose?" He questioned.

"You were afraid of Mom changing everything the Diamonds stood for?"

And that was it.

" _Yes!_ " White cried, the sense of urgency behind her single word.

"We had standards to uphold! Pink's behaviour was inappropriate. Yellow, Blue, you knew this!"

Steven waited for their responses.

"But we ignored Pink's own suffering." Blue acknowledged, with the slightest drop of venom.

"She was one of us. We needed to listen to her...if we had..."

The sting of Blue's old power was beginning to surface, the sorrow itself was digging it's way through in the most subtle of ways. Steven understood that this was getting out of hand.

"This isn't going to change anything now." He told them.

"We've had this discussion before....so we must focus on what we can do with Schwarz. But we know next to nothing about her powers or location...Save for the scanning power and the ability to form convincing illusions."

And that last one was the most dangerous of them all as far as Steven was concerned, but he wouldn't be surprised if she had other plans up her sleeve. She's had thousands of years of planning and he wasn't stupid to think that her acquisition of the Diamonds was the only parts she had in motion. It had him on edge, but now that they were here, they stood a better chance.

"Her goal is to wipe us out, so she can rule Gem kind into Era 4. We obviously don't want that."

White lifted her chin.

"It explains what we saw on Homeworld the day it was attacked." She said.

"Unseen enemies and the enemies we did see...we thought they were aliens trying to invade."

She wasn't too far off the mark. Volleyball kept talking about monsters...so what if that was Schwarz and her armies making a mockery of it all, fooling all of them for long enough that they could be poofed and used as batteries. Which lead to Steven's next question.

"What kind of Gem is she anyway?" He had to ask.

Pursing her lips, it was quite clear she hadn't thought about all that much. Steven wasn't exactly holding it as front of mind, but it'd been something he'd been to suss out for months on the end and it never was brought up after all avenues were exhausted.

"Her design was supposed to next to flawless." She acknowledged.

"I hadn't planned to make anymore than the one produced. So she must have stolen my research materials to make more."

So she truly was meant to be unique...this was getting weird. But...he then remembered something Celosia was telling him before. So Steven wasn't even sure if White was lying, but he still didn't trust her. He had to make the call. He put his headset back on and called Volleyball.

"Volleyball, can you send Celosia and Vivi into the War Room? It's important." He ordered.

* * *

Moments later, the orange and purple Gems emerged, as White examined them. Two human-esque Gems that stood before them and Vivi hadn't even seen White until this point and so she was both terrified and amazed. Steven had to proceed with the formalities.

"White this is Celosia and Vivi; the same Gem types as Schwarz." He told her, before turning to Celosia.

"Cel, this is White Diamond. She's the one who created Schwarz."

The orange gem could only look up at White with an unreadable expression; adjusting her glasses as she could only but stare.

"So those were your notes she had." Celosia stated.

"I see..."

The orange Gem was a bit unimpressed but never said anything, where as Vivi stood there, her eyes to the floor and her hands behind her back, adding nothing to the conversation. He was more than a little worried.

"I worked with Schwarz for a long time." Celosia continued.

"She's dangerous and will stop at nothing to get what she wants. But we cannot seem to track her or find her primary base of operations. We'd suggested Earth as the location, but we're not able to see her Gem anywhere."

And the assumption of the blanketing technique came to mind.

"Jayhawk does have a lab underneath it, but that's one of many."

White closed her eyes and hummed, trying to recall something far back.

"She could be at the original production site." White said.

"I had-

Steven heard the beeping from his comms. Figures....rolling his eyes, with obligations, he had to answer.

"Volleyball, this better be important." He said, aggravated.

"It is, very much so." She replied.

"We're getting an emergency transmission from Earth."

* * *

The group hurried over to the bridge, where Volleyball had been working alongside the other staff as Steven sat back in his chair to figure what the drama was all about. As usual, his two proxies, Jasper and Volleyball stood by either side, awaiting their Admirals orders. Cutting off the meeting so early caused him grief, given the itinerary of what he had planned to go through. Though, he felt it would lapsed in more and more arguments, specifically against White. His anger for her aside, this was far more important.

"Patch it through." Steven ordered.

On command, a giant screen popped up in front of them. There was a lot of static and white noise in between some visuals, but he could hear a lot of explosions.

"This...this is Bismuth of Little Home- of E- if there's any Gem out there that can hear this...we need your he-"

Volley, from the corner of her eye, could see Steven's arms crossed and fingers digging into his biceps out of rage.

"We-...we- need...Ste-"

_LINE LOST._

The screen disappeared as the bridge went awfully quiet...as if waiting for a command from the Admiral himself. 

"It's clear Earth is under attack.... _again_..." Jasper said, exasperated.

"It has to be her." Volley commented.

"Steven we have to help them!"

He was in definite agreement about that. Earth was under the assault of the original Rebellion...s. Though the main leaders had been apprehended, the main point of contention still remained. Part of him didn't want to go back but it looked as if they really had no choice.

"Set course for Earth."

The crew made adjustments to go into hyperspace, with the announcement that they would be there in several hours. Inhaling, Steven had plans to rest before they arrived, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Um Steven...sorry to interrupt."

Looking behind him, it was Celosia of all people. Still a relative unknown; the orange Gem of questionable allegiances. He had to remind himself to be patient with her, however. Feeling bad that he'd caused her more grief that she deserved, based on the worried look on her face, he was inclined to give her a shot.

"Yes?" He said.

She pursed her lips.

"Do you mind if we talk in private?"

* * *

Steven wanted to push to be there quicker but as they were in another Galaxy he had to accept the longer windows, even with an advanced fleet. He left Jasper in charge of the Bridge and ordered the Diamonds back to their ships; handing the Dondai and DeMayo to White Diamond, but had sent messages to both Blue and Yellow to keep a close eye on her. He figured, their discussion got a bit heated in the War Room and if it hadn't been for the disruption, who knows what he could have done?

The two met up in a small room to themselves. This was off the record as far as Celosia was concerned. He could spare some tiny amount of time for her, as long as the information she had to provide was relevant. Helping find the Diamonds with their power, was a great idea overall that he hadn't properly thanked her for.

"I'll try be as brief as I can but...I figure now is as good as time as any to explain myself." She said, her voice awfully soft.

Steven crossed his arms and nodded. If he wasn't sleeping, he might as well had the time to be productive. Like Peridot, she was a wealth of information, though she was a bit timid occasionally....which still reminded him of Peridot even more. Steven shouldn't have to think if Celosia was afraid of him, but he sensed in her small stutters, that she was.

"Shoot." He said.

Celosia put a hand to her chest and smiled.

"T-Thank you." She replied.

"Now...I know my history is rather vague. You already know me as a former professor of the College."

Specialising in Software Engineering, yeah he knew.

"And the work that I did with Schwarz...something I wasn't entirely proud of."

But now they knew, Schwarz had been stealing notes to create more incubators. A nasty Gem with the penchant for thievery.

"I loved her." She revealed, as a tear ran down her cheek.

"I love Petunia. She was one of the only people who accepted and encouraged my theories. She made me feel like I was....everything."

Words that gave Steven tremendous pause. He's heard that before.

"I let her turn me into... _this_..." Celosia continued, addressing herself.

"She said, the both of us could live eternally...and I soon found out that was a lie."

Steven could only think of one reason why.

"Because you're not the original Celosia." He said.

A statement that made her hang her head in shame.

"The original Celosia was actually the Dean before Schwarz." She revealed.

"But Schwarz insisted that I...that Celosia stepped down from the position to have Schwarz in charge but that was far from the truth."

Disgusted was the only word Steven could conjure. Schwarz manipulated Celosia from the start and going from the treatment of Vivi and Connie, this was nothing new.

"She wanted the College resources for her 'projects'. As soon as I found out what really happened I fled Jayhawk. But..."

But...

"You still have feelings for her?" Steven questioned.

Going from the sniff as the shy glance, most likely.

"They're conflicted." She answered.

"I knew Connie was going to head down the same track at some point and there was little I could do to stop it without Petunia figuring out my location. Four Square was my way to communicating, albeit intentionally being vague about it."

So she was a coward...looking out for herself while Connie suffered under Schwarz's scheme. Steven was surely angry but he could sympathise with conflicting feelings with loved ones. Looking at his tentative fist, he resolved to let Celosia go on.

"I wanted you to look after Connie all the way through. Because I failed to look after Vivi. But we have spoken and she actually bares no ill-will...being glad that there's someone like her in the same position as she....unknown of who or what they are and what they're meant for. She's given me hope."

Once upon a time Connie had instructed on some level not to dwell on blames. Instead, to direct such change. He didn't have to like the way Celosia went about her business but...he still had to admit, they wouldn't have gotten this far without her help. While this helped Steven understand her circumstances a little bit more, it didn't help their current situation.

"I'm sorry that happened to you." He said, voice low.

And hurt from loved ones could be unintentionally. But Schwarz did this on purpose. For revenge and using anyone and anything to help her achieve it. She's done this with Baseball, with Emerald, with Holly Blue...used their hatred and distaste of the current climate and utilised their services to run against the rules of Era 3.

"But...if you think this is going to jeopardise our mission against her..."

Celosia shook her head.

"It won't, I promise you." She told him.

"I used to comfort her when she was down. She's actually an incredibly lonely person. She just won't admit it."

Anyone in her position would be.

"The things that make humans different to Gems overall is that...those with the human psyche are wired differently. We know mortality...and Schwarz used to talk about the people she knew throughout the years. They'd come and go in a blink of an eye. People she tried to care about but...many deaths she could not prevent simply because she wasn't a human. But she was born one. Thousands of years gone past...to Gems that's nothing. To people like us who see the world grow and evolve and die. Petunia worked through all that...all the generations and centuries of change and human development."

If Steven could be honest, that would have been a depressing sight to see. He was still young but he made many years ahead of him. He wondered how his Mom coped with it all, given all her fascination with organic life.

~~Each living thing has an entirely unique experience. The sights they see, the sounds they hear.~~

Words forgotten and words clicked...suddenly something made sense without it still making sense.

"One of the things I researched during development of AI is identity." She said.

"The formulation of Gems isn't too much different either; but the personality that emerges is based on what ever is coded into it. Humans gain their identities through many sources, not always the greatest outcome but the beauty of humans is that they're capable of changing behaviour and habits and personalities. Gems originally didn't have that luxury."

Until Era 3.

"Petunia....or whom ever she was called back in the day, would have been an ancient human. Potentially one of the oldest in existence if she still was. An ally of the Gem Rebellion perhaps? I never found out, even with all my research."

Only with what White had explained prior did Steven understand.

"White used her against Pink Diamond during the War." Steven explained.

"She used an organic as some kind of psychological tactic I think? I'm not sure if the execution was done the way White wanted, but she intended to use Schwarz as a spy."

Celosia nodded.

"I see." She said.

"She did admit she had a fear of me abandoning her and begging to me to work late so she could have me for company. But the words she used....'you make me feel like I'm supposed to exist'....it appears to me she had a problem trying to find a place in the world."

Steven knew that feeling all too well.

"So she resorted in finding ways to make Gems just like her." Steven suggested.

"To make her identity mean something."

Which had gave Steven some thoughts about White Diamond in particular.

Celosia shrugged.

"I mean that's entirely plausible...rooting out her history...there's nothing. Petunia Schwarz doesn't exist outside of Jayhawk." She said.

So that must have meant everything to her.

"Then you come into the picture; this...hybrid, this new Diamond creation. I don't think she could fathom the fact that her target had willingly given up her own self to form you."

Steven even wondered if his mother and Schwarz had even crossed paths at one point or another. Would Schwarz be willing to reveal that?

"White thought I was just Pink in a new form." Steven told her.

"She had me fooled briefly but..."

Events proved her dead wrong anyway.

"I don't blame her." Celosia said.

"I mean, it's of no offence to you Steven but you are one of the only of you that exist at this point and time...but once we find Connie and cure her, the idea is that she and her Gem should be able to co-exist."

He never thought about it that much, but when she put it that way. It would allow Connie to keep her identity if this had worked out the way they intended it to.

"If it doesn't work and she still dies, then what?" Steven said, out the doubt once again.

Celosia sighed.

"Well, we get the Gem Connie...and she can be like Vivi and myself. We can take care of her." She offered.

Knowing that those two were entities on the same wavelength as each other, in the same circumstance, did comfort Steven a tiny bit. Connie had to remain, no matter what form she took. Her parents wouldn't see it the same way and may never forgive Steven but he was willing to take that on board as a consequence; still reeling in those butterflies on his shoulders upon such thoughts.

He knew nothing was going to be the same after, but then again, when ever was anything the same from moment to moment? From the revelation his mother was Pink Diamond, to his corruption? But this involved someone he loved so dearly, being subjected to those same terrors of a magical life...nothing he would never wish upon anyone, irregardless of who they were.

"She has a life on Earth....and a loving family." Steven told her.

"I'm sure her parents will rip into me after they see what's happened to their only daughter."

Celosia frowned.

"Sounds like they love her very much then." She said.

"So it's up to you to ease their concerns."

Since when was the only likely option that resulted in the physical form of Connie being destroyed and a replica that has her face, personality and voice gonna give ease to anyone? He hated that, but Celosia had a point. Steven was responsible for Connies livelihood and he dreaded to think on where she was now.

"We've got to find her first." He said.

"I have no idea where she would have gone to though."

Celosia nodded. She knew how much Steven loved her, based on what Vivi had told her and the overall observation of their interactions. A love Celosia craved and once thought to be had with Schwarz, but she figured any other relationship would be better than what they had.

"I apologise if we can't." She said.

And he wanted to be pissed off about their lack of being able to locate her. It wasn't for the lack of trying, but for as what had been told, they could potentially shroud themselves. 

"No matter." Steven stated, looking at his fist.

"We should be at Earth soon. If there's anything you want to prepare for..."

A hand clasped onto his shoulder to prevent him from leaving.

"Wait." Celosia urged.

"Sorry but...if these powers over illusions and falsehoods are as strong as I think they are, I could suggest a examination of the situation in Beach City. Hold back the Armada; send in a single squad to investigate the area first. Schwarz could be up to her usual tricks."

Steven nodded in acknowledgement. Sound advice in his opinion that he didn't even think about; as he was fully prepared to bring in the full force of his fleet on Schwarz and her rebellion. Normally he'd been too aggravated at the orange Gem, but at this point, she was just cautious with her reveals as opposed to lying. Honesty in selected phases. It annoyed him and made him intially believe that she had something up her sleeve like most people did. 

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you." He said.

* * *

Going back and forth and relegating Celosia's suggestion, it was agreed upon to send in a recon team to get a grasp of the situation. Steven would personally see to this and would bring several people into his Team; Jasper,Volleyball and Vivi. Celosia was ordered to stay on the ship, but she would be on standby for any of her assistance. 

It would be some hours until they would arrive on Earth, so Steven took advantage of this and went to his room to sleep...if that was a possible thing under these current tense circumstances. 

It was like his lists of old; dealing with Beach City; quash the rebellion, save Connie. Walking back, he deliberated over that agonising choice about actually living back on Earth any time soon. It wasn't feasible with all this work he had to accomplish and finalise. Was it worth heading back to begin with? His form and mentality was made to comparison of an actual leader; that a Diamond really did have the power and authority to make competent decisions. At least, someone who wasn't White, anyway.

That underlying feeling of her once the highest on the Gem theoretical food chain and the fact that he's not once, but twice had her submitting felt good. Why? Should he question why it had a strong impact? A sense of brushing relief against his ego when he punished those that deserved it? Was that normal?

Normal was overrated anyway, he figured.

As he got back to his room, he was met with Vivi who was leaning against the wall. He didn't have time for anyone to be with at this point when they about to go on a mission, but as she was one of the current people he tolerated at this stage, he obliged.

"Everything alright?" He asked.

She had her arms cross and looked rather nervous; reasons Steven couldn't fathom. He sincerely hoped he still wasn't scaring her at this point. Despite her protests that she wasn't, Steven had still told himself to be careful.

"Oh, fine, fine." She said, though she did sound unsure of herself. A contrast to how she normally was; the confident purple Gem was a shrinking violet, petals shrunken inward as opposed to dropping off outright.

"How...how are you?"

Steven blinked. Her voice croaked under a nerve that must have been frayed.

"A little stressed and tired but that's usually the case these days." He admitted casually.

To Vivi, it would seem he had forgotten what transpired in his room the last time...or he had chosen to forget...or not talk about it. Connie had said he had this habit of not talking about his own feelings from time to time and he had specifically gone to a therapist to help him admit that and express himself in mature, healthy ways. Though going from everything Vivi had witnessed, would it be correct in saying he'd regressed into those old habits? 

"I need a nap before we arrive. Unless there's something you'd needed from me."

The purple Gem looked to the side and pursed her lips, trembling on the slightest notice which had Steven a bit confused.

"Just..." Vivi said, rubbing her arm.

"Do you feel lonely because Connie isn't here?"

He was sad that she wasn't amongst other heavy emotions but Steven knew if he stuck to his guns and worked through things like he always did that wouldn't be an issue. Besides, acting crazy and submitting to madness didn't help anybody. Steven Diamond had to be strict and controlled...his behaviour a representing testament, for all Gem kind to abide by.

"I wish Connie was safe with us." Steven admitted.

"I'm not alone, however."

That was good, if Vivi could believe it should be. Connie was, pun not-withstanding, his rock. They belonged together, bringing out the best in each other. Connie's stories of their adventures was something that had Vivi, though she would never admit, really enjoyed. Made it seem like every wild thing she'd done of the years pale in comparison.

"I wish she was here too." She said; for more reasons than one.

Words that had Steven sort of snap into the depressed nature Vivi wasn't always known for showing. He was normally good on catching on to peoples feelings through body language and tone, but he had been lax in that, much to his horror.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked.

Vivi swallowed; that swirling, nagging collection of twisted emotions that churned within like a whirlpool. She didn't want to lie; their last conversation tangled in facts she rarely told. The hidden darkness with her past she had previously shovelled down underneath several layers of dirt and cement.

"I...I know I told you a lot of heavy stuff...among other things." She answered, rubbing the back of her neck.

Her family...her father and the chaos in the McCudden household. They didn't have time...specifically Steven didn't have enough time to digest what she had spoken to him about and he took a moment to reflect on that scarring piece. A comment or two...then there was something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Viv that's okay. I'm not mad if that's what you're worried about."

And that alone had Vivi instantly think he was talking about that _thing_ they did.

"You're not?" She questioned, blushing light purple on her cheeks.

Steven shook his head.

"Why would I be?" He said, putting a hand on her shoulder and smiling.

A gesture that instantly sent that pulsating warmth through Vivi, the heavy feeling in her theoretical heart pounding like no tomorrow.

"You didn't deserve what your dad did to you...and the strength you have today is actually quite inspiring."

_Oh._..

Vivi didn't realise that's what he really meant. But her strength...it was something he liked. And Vivi wasn't always about pushing herself to her limits...its only when people push her instead; unfortunately she had so many buttons that on the brief press would always set her off. She was angry all the time deep within and would put on the act to everyone around her. That glass-fragile persona of the Good Vivi, when the bad Vivi was the one full of energy and constantly wanting to escape like a ravenous wolf.

Deeper down, was a lonely girl, lost and confused without purpose or reason, buried down there with all the name calling, all the lovers and partners she's had whom had broken her heart one time too many. Hesitant to trust until she met Connie.

People would always want to find out about the Purple Girl. She'd spent enough time at Jayhawk that people knew her as such and those who she could befriend weren't the worst people she'd been with. Their acceptance had her tolerating Jayhawk far more than she expected it too. But she'd never gotten too close to people. Only to reach people at surface level and to be able to talk at least talk the talk with anyone. 

Connie's curiosity didn't surprise her, but it was her understanding and being one of the first individuals who didn't want to take advantage, as well as being able to explain at least in partial terms of her existence and that what she was made more sense. A relief in the answers from her roommate.

Steven and Vivi ended up going in his room, sitting on the chairs as she revealed what Celosia had been speaking to her about. The whole process about hunting those with well sort after genetic markers...and how Vivi never realised she had been the reason Connie was the way she was and had been riddled with the butterflies on her end just as much. So this had been a cycle of Celosia feeling bad about what happened to Vivi and Vivi feeling guilty about what happened to Connie.

"So yeah, Celosia said I was manipulated by Schwarz into...well, turning Connie...I-I mean, I didn't mean to..."

Similar to how Pearl was ordered not to divulge the truth about Pink Diamond. The ways and means for controlling everything from start to finish. Vivi had not been made aware, however and stemming Connie on the path itself was traced all the way back to Schwarz. The distress that Steven could see made sense. Vivi was indeed blaming herself for Connie's condition.

"Understand I would have never hurt Connie like that..."

Steven wouldn't believe it anyway, but Vivi still felt the need to be punished. If this version of despair was riding on those awful gut wrenching emotions, then it was definitely working. Steven could see how everyone was on edge because of how powerless, thoughtless, careless they thought they were. Intentions were clear but the damage was being done without it being recognised at first. The hurt induced without the intent behind it...the swath of destruction on the inside. Steven could sympathise.

"It's a complicated situation, that's a no-brainer." He said, trying to take it all in. Celosia had told him her side of the story too and some of the parts made sense. Schwarz had most certainly used the both of them to an extent to her own ends. Mentally, the two were still paying for it. 

"You took care of her when I couldn't. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

Vivi smiled. Her emotions were a mess overall, made worse for her untowards and unadmitted feelings towards those whom she had felt she held a close bond. She wasn't foolish as to tell Steven about the real problem with being Vivi; that the people she attracts and those she's attracted to, aren't always within her control.

Such issues with being Vivi; that she finds the most significant bonds she has with people whom decide on their own foolish free will to hang around and continue to stick by with their continuous, never questioned friendships. That she finds herself falling with every smile they grace her and every gesture of assistance a strengthened tie with her heart, when really, she'd rather have it as a noose around her neck. 

Relationships that come and go...some, more at the same time however brief. Commitment, for that matter, was always a problem. So many complications that emerged through out.

"Yeah she's a bit of a weirdo when it comes to wanting to remain friends." Vivi joked with a half-hearted chuckle.

"I'm grateful for both her and you for jumping in my life when you did. I just wish there's more I can do to resolve this."

Steven figured helping others was his signature approach to making friends if they weren't mere offers to being one. A collective of individuals he's come to know and love irregardless of their origins. People who aren't exactly enthused with the naive boy who'd come around when he did, his endless support and encouragement and insistence in finding a better way. That was one Steven Universe, once upon a time.

Now here was Steven Diamond. Older. Wiser. Less naive...less patient. More ruthless and daring. But the love had remained...no matter how hard Steven had tried to suppress that last time, Sandra had told him that the love in his heart, that significant warmth that provided his strength was still a powerful trait to have. Because love could be scarce and love had been scarce in the Gem Empire until recently. That the lack of it within the Rebellion would be its definite downfall.

"I know Connie." Steven told her.

"She'll be back to us one day."

One day....and the optimism he was known for still existed. Though, it wasn't always welcomed. Optimism on false expectations for example. That was being less than honest....and Vivi preferred honesty. So did Connie. Connie who dug into him for the truth of his own issues. The Denial the Shield; verses the Connie, the infinite sword. He'd always help that form of hope based on how much faith he'd had in her.

He yawned out of the blue, which had Vivi realise she outstayed her welcome.

"Oh I'm sorry, you were about to sleep, weren't you?" She asked.

Steven stretched his arms and cracked his neck.

"Yeah but it's okay. I'd rather sleep soundly know I'm not abandoning people who need me." He said with a small smile.

Vivi furrowed her brows, confused.

"It wouldn't have mattered either way. I think I'll need some shut eye myself. I mean, it's a habit I've kept up for as long as I've existed. I don't mind sleep personally."

And suddenly he was reminded of Amethyst in a warm way. And not because Vivi was purple either.

"Hey, I just need you to be you." Steven assured her as he stood up.

"Since Connie's left, I need someone to reel me in when I've gone too far."

That was jarring to hear.

"I don't think you've gone too far Steven." Vivi told him, standing up. She still felt a bit off-put by everything and the matters that plagued her consistently. He still didn't mention anything about their kiss.

"If anything it's me who goes too far. I'm a loose cannon."

Steven chuckled.

"You're fine compared to most people I've had to deal with." He explained as he laid his jacket on the chair. Seeing his arm muscles triggered a minuscule reaction within Vivi alone. His shirt was a bit tight around the edges, as she noticed.

"I know you want to do the right thing. I'm not at all bothered by your behaviour...I mean, drinking, smoking and swearing are considered bad habits...they're the least I'm worried about."

Vivi smirked.

"Damn fuckin' straight." She said with pride.

"Though...I can tell you Connie is good with pointing that out. Back in College, she has this habit of criticising me on my tendency to hit too hard during our more physical classes. I keep forgetting I'm a Gem; apparently we're naturally stronger than humans?"

Yeah that was a thing Steven forgot as well.

"That sounds like her, although I would wager she's probably also asking for you to give as good as you've got. Sometimes I myself feel the need to step in when she gets in over her head."

Some occasions that pointed that out to him more than others.

"But I think...that's why we need each other." He said as he approached Vivi, whom grew nervous with him so close. This never normally happened with a lot of people, let alone Steven himself. She could only think of one other who had her feel that way and in time she managed to deal with it, albeit that kind of niche never really disappeared. Only to be used for a greater purpose. Within her own control. Vivi understood she was going to have to do it again with this niche. She cursed her human-esque emotions sometimes for making her react the way she did.

"We help each other find our own light."

Oh great now he was using her words against her. Not cool. She didn't like the ironic poetic justice thrust upon her like that.

"Yeah yeah you don't need to be all mushy." Vivi commented, slipping into her normal self, apparent by her thicker accent.

"I don't know Connie deals with all your...."

That had Steven beaming. She looked a lot more comfortable than she had been in a while.

"Schmaltz?" He suggested, sly.

That's the word. Connie used to say it all the time when they talked about Steven and his, uh....preferences in entertainment.

"Schmaltz is only ever good on paper." Vivi explained.

"Just be real and be blunt mate. Pure and simple."

He could do that.

"I'll sleep on it." He said with a heart breaking smirk. Though Vivi was smarter than to deal with him bombarding her with all his niceties by now.

"Otherwise get some rest. We definitely do have a challenge ahead of us."

* * *

After Vivi had left, Steven found himself on his back and looking at the roof again. He wasn't sure what to believe in with what he had told Vivi. He'd never told that to anyone; his wish to have someone reign him in. Chains on wrists and ankles. Nothing like that...more...calling out. He tried to envision Connie berating him, giving him the uproar he felt he deserved. 

Because everything was because of his command, his word and strike of confidence. The difference of right or wrong was irrelevant. The correct actions taken to get them to the best conclusion, the best ending they could ask for. While he was warned this wasn't going to end peacefully.

Intentions to heal Baseball were put on hold as the box holding her shards rested on his bedside table. They hadn't the time and Steven was given suggestions by several sources as to wait; since they couldn't confirm if they could actually trust her, given that she was one of the key players in the Rebellion; the thorn in his side. The general spurn towards his corruption. He couldn't bring himself to hate her, despite what she did nearly levelling with what White Diamond did to him. 

He could agree feelings towards others had their justifications and some didn't. Still unsure of how he could feel against his own mom, even if some declarations meant otherwise. Celosia's terms struck certain ideas and chords...but still made no solid conclusion. Maybe they were meant to complicated. 

So it was the division of what he felt was right and what he knew was right that was the issue. White needed to be punished. Baseball also deserved punishment. Crimes like those against their kind had to have had consequences irregardless. He'd have to hit up the Zircons for their insight, but if they were anything like the lawyers on Earth, their insight would be invaluable.

Sending a message like that to Gemkind surely, just surely...had to mean something...to show the universe that this new era was serious about committing to a better system, where laws were created to protect others, guide others and punish those who sort themselves above those laws. 

He didn't think shattering was a good punishment...and those whom had been punished, locked up in the prisons until their trials were in loops because the system hadn't been fleshed out and so finding the correct course was difficult. Steven should have just taken the Earth version as a template and used that instead.

"You're no longer a child." Said Diamond Suit Steven as he stood to Steven's right hand side.

"You're no longer mixing idealism with realism."

Couldn't he have both?

"Is it wrong to hope?" He asked.

Diamond Suit lifted his chin, his expression void and dull.

"It's not." Said Kid Steven, sitting on chair on Steven's left hand side. Suddenly his Denial and Bargaining sides were arguing with each other.

"Being optimistic opens up your chances and helps you prevent submitting yourself to despair."

Did it really?

"That sides with idealism more so." Said Diamond Suit.

"It's not opening up chances; it's wishing the existing ones would be end up being more favourable."

Shouldn't it be so, however?

"It would be cruel to go in the most hurtful direction to punish someone." Said Kid Steven.

Indeed it would be.

"It's not about being cruel." Diamond Suit claimed.

"It's about equalising the crime with the punishment in term. The heavier the incident, the harsher the sentence."

Within reason, surely.

"You're saying I should pluck White's Gem from her head? That doesn't solve anything." The Admiral pointed out.

The Diamond Suit shook his head.

"Connie has already told you about the Court System on Earth." He said.

"It's not an equivalent exchange of literals. It's about deciding what her crime is worth. Most of it, is time."

But time was of no consequence to the Gems; especially the Diamonds.

"They threw Mom in prison when she did something wrong." Kid Steven reminded him.

He had a point. Pink Diamond was given this treatment for what they deemed was her going too far.

"Exactly." Said Diamond Suit.

"Holly Blue and Emerald; they were lucky they were let off so easy."

Because Steven did not wish to cause more trouble. It was better their willingness to serve was based on fear, however. But Steven didn't want people to fear them. That would undermine everything they fought for back then. Did he have to think about this right now while he was trying to sleep? No he didn't. But his stupid mind was doing it anyway.

"Alright I get it...now can you please let me sleep?" He complained.

Suddenly...silence. Looking left and right, the two disappeared without a trace. He groaned heavily, irritated with all this talk he's had so far. He's had meetings less grinding than this. They had a point in ripping such concepts Steven had been troubling grasping onto as of late. But his ghosts were right; affirming his theories, he wasn't his 14 year old self anymore, but age just brought more confusion, than wisdom. Wisdom was born from experience as opposed to sliding numbers that changed every year. The debate ended up being as eternal as the sun, rising, falling...hot days and cold nights. Temperamental. Connie would have been able to handle it much better than he could. Her logic made sense to him.

Over all, he just missed hugging Connie to stave it away temporarily. It took him a while; submitting himself to rest before returning to Earth. Though, his conscience had not been cleared. 

Because subconsciously, he knew he was the most terrifying person in the universe right now. With the Leviathan protecting him everywhere he went. Even his dreams.


	36. The Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven, Jasper, Volley and Vivi head to Beach City for the first time in months.  
> Steven then has another meeting with White Diamond, suspecting her of holding back information that would be useful,  
> and another session with Vivi that holds a few implications and discoveries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took too long! But this chapter does have some...uh...stuff...

It would be lying if Steven said he actually slept.

In everything and anything...the burden on his shoulders had become greater than he would have been able to accept. Instead, he meditated, but it became nothing more than a reflection of his actions....going from the traumatic occurrences of his life, one by one, like a film reel.

His actions as Steven Universe...perhaps, inconsequential to the actions of Steven Diamond. Willingly placing those responsibilities on himself.

But then...who was Steven Diamond without his responsibilities?

The Diamond Diplomat...going from planet to planet to planet. Ignoring everything and keeping his problems locked up tight. But like the heat of the sun, it burnt through, leaking out in the scarring chains of light. The anger, the rage...

Yelling at Connie. Yelling at Lapis. And finally...

His corruption...

There was the lack of control and Steven craved control more than he wanted peace. But the fact his head was so messed up, he wasn't able to reign in his own thoughts. The monster was a symbol for both his pain and his acceptance of that pain. 

It took a few sessions with Sandra to get him to admit that. Even if what Connie had achieved rallied that in the literal sense of placing his mind back together, Steven continued to struggle to understand it on his terms.

So the opportunity came back once more, for Steven Universe to sleep and Steven Diamond to return to the front. This time he had more control of himself, that used the skills learned to lead the Gems, _his_ Gems...to recovering what was lost. No...not lost. Just scattered with the threat of destruction looming...but even so...Steven couldn't help but feel something was off about it all, but the lack of proof had him shove that aside due to its lack of importance. Gut instinct had saved him plenty of times before, but within proper sense, he was aware had to take action with enough evidence to follow through.

The Empire itself had been dismantled for years now and it was just a race trying to find its way in the universe again. For better. The Organisation...the Rebellion. They had existed for thousands of years. Petunia Schwarz. Steven wasn't naive to think that this was going to end easily. She was a lot smarter than anyone would give her credit for.

And that which had damned Steven...almost damned him and damaging his image. The creation of the Armada, the fleets. His new transformation. The fact he had cracked both Emerald _and_ Holly Blue...the message itself wasn't one Steven wanted to send but...the method worked. Steven hated knowing that they worked perfectly and that those two Gems would be on the right path to redeem themselves. With the Diamonds back, they would be able to go back to a sense of what they once had.

Control.

More so the power that was behind that control. Maybe in Emeralds case. The orderly way of things and how well they once fit in the totem pole. Again, in their place where they wanted to be.

Not only that, but the image of corrupting Connie was possibly one of the worst hitting cases of his own self-loathing complex. But it still fit in the same mould as everything else.

Steven had to hurt people. He _has_ hurt people. Only because he had to, not because he wanted to. Making things painless was his aim, but his obstacles were anything but. Would there by any progression in life without pain? Steven knew that more than anyone.

The only one who gave him hope for such change, ironically, was Baseball. He should have felt hatred for her but deep down he really couldn't. Seeing her shattered, however...made him question if he should resurrect HER straight away. He's had this argument within himself more than once and continued to let it go idle for now.

He had more pressing matters to attend to.

* * *

Arriving on Earth after so long...it was inevitable...it was always the matter of when. The team, consisting as Steven as the leader, Jasper as the extra muscle, Volleyball as the trove of Gem knowledge and comms handler and Vivi as his scout come warrior. Weirdly enough, he felt more comfortable around them, in a situation that if he had gone on his own, he would have been quite fearful of the potential problems that could arise. Comparing them to the book of Animal Symbolism, Jasper became his tiger, Volleyball, his Moth and Vivi, whom once told him about the Behemoth tattoo on her back as a representation herself, for what ever that actually meant.

Taking a Roaming Eye, they flew into the atmosphere above Beach City in the middle of the night, although initial scans weren't exactly promising. The stars were out and there was a full moon that was the most prominent light source. Steven wasn't sure if it was supposed to mean something...

With caution, they parked just outside of Little Homeworld. Upon exiting, Steven was immediately on edge...already sensing that something didn't feel right. Cautiously approaching Homeworld, they could see it was relatively intact. Getting closer, the four cautiously navigated the exteriors but Vivi noticed one thing in particular.

"Is it normally this quiet and empty at this time?" She whispered to him.

Checking the nearby clock tower, it was about seven thirty. There were sometimes night classes from what he could last recall.

"Sometimes but...it seems...too quiet." Steven replied.

"Vivi, I need you to scan."

Upon such an order, Vivi nodded, turning her eyes dark as she looked for any Gems in the vicinity, her head slowing pan from left to right and vice versa. A sigh told Steven everything he didn't want to know.

"I've got nothing." She replied.

That's what he feared.

"The message was from Bismuth...but..." Steven stated.

This was bad.

"I'd say they were all taken." Jasper suggested, even she was disturbed in the most slight way.

"Destroyed and Gems stolen. To where I wouldn't even know where to start."

Steven didn't want to believe her, but he felt Jasper was right. She wouldn't admit to being worried, but the tone of her voice gave precedence to Jaspers concern where before hand she wouldn't have cared. She still didn't but he felt like something had indeed spooked her. And that on its own was a telling extract of the situation. 

"We should be on guard just in case this is a trap."

Words Steven absolutely needed to hear, despite how terrifying it was to listen to. He's been tricked before and keeping his eye out for anything suspicious left him more anxious than usual. He shouldn't...being a Diamond meant being steadfast...but being a leader meant listening to the opinions of his associates; their wisdom more than valuable.

He stood there, inhaling the peculiar scent in the air. Memories flooded back involuntarily, of the day he lost himself. Almost. The scent of ash and smoke and burnt wood...skies burning under the threat of the rebellion and the change of the weather that followed. All Steven could recall, were the painful shards from the lost of control. The fear in the eyes of those who he had loved so dear...those split visions nailed into him of the sheer destruction and the ensuing terror that erupted because of him.

The world of deep purples and magentas and pink flames. The explosions, the scorching temperatures....just thinking about it had Steven swallow and the sweat that formed on his brow like he was sent back in time to witness the horrors his Leviathan had wrought against Little Homeworld and Beach City.

The Leviathan that had always been with him. His shield. His true shield. His most powerful line of defence he had unwittingly formed but with the highest cost. Mentally. Physically...the toll paid in exchange for power he never wanted...thrust upon him in his weakest moments.

"Should we go investigate Beach City then?" Vivi suggested, breaking Steven out of his trance.

Beach City...he was definitely hesitant to head back there of all places. Were they prepared to see him, after all this time? It'd been several years and the time had passed by so quickly that he wasn't sure if matters were exactly the same. Or they were considerably different. Any change had to be a change for the better or if there was no change, then it didn't anything altered, Steven figure. Looking at the lone Galaxy Warp in the middle of the township, Steven felt nostalgic. He nodded, walking towards the platform with the others.

But he wasn't prepared for the slightest gust of a breeze that brushed past his ear and for a moment he thought he heard someone whisper his name.

Steven...

He paused in place and looked around, puzzled.

"Everything alright?" Volley asked.

It wasn't his voice this time...he knew when his mind preferred to present itself to him. These days his hallucinations were more easily defined...though he couldn't remember the last time he'd taken his medication. Looking up at the platform he could see someone on it and he squinted, but the time he got to focus on them, they were gone. It was rather dark after all and seeing things wasn't exactly a good sign of his mental health right now. Pushing that aside, he knew the Gems needed him right now more than ever.

Looking at Jasper briefly, he was brought once again to that shroud of orange...and instantly remembered that Celosia had told him about their Gem types power of illusion so he debated on whether or not it was Steven himself seeing this on his own accord or Schwarz's influence and power spreading on a scale wider than anything.

"I need you all to be careful...take caution with what you see." He warned.

Stepping onto the Warp Pad, Steven took a deep breath while the others joined him. His pride and his fear of those who were his family to judge him...he had to discard that, for their sake.

"We're right behind you." Vivi assured him.

Nodding, Steven took them back to the Beach House....

* * *

Upon arrival, there was the everlasting darkness, save for the moonlight that poured in through the windows. The place didn't look that much different. Nothing out of alignment; perhaps Pearls doing.

Stepping off the pad, Steven looked around as the others followed. It felt weird being here after so long, that in his mind Steven actually had this idea that he was intruding, even if the Gems would have loved Steven visiting and checking in from time to time. He could feel awful about it, but now he couldn't afford to have a messy brain setting affect their mission.

"Garnet? Amethyst? Pearl?" He called out.

"Dad? It's Steven! I'm uh...I'm home."

If he could still call it that.

No response meant no one was home either. Which earned an annoying grumble from Jasper.

"They're obviously not here." She said.

So where could they be?

The breeze picked up again and made a slight whistle in his ear.

_Steven..._

Looking at the stair case was a black silhouette with glowing green eyes. He was compelled to approach it, walking to them at a snails pace but when he got closer, it disappeared in a brush of smoke. 

"Viv do your powers tell you if there's some kind of...I dunno...ability being used?" Steven asked, turning back to her.

If they could discover their own abilities as a group, then Steven had to know what damage that they could really inflict. A new Gem type meant all sorts of trouble due to dealing with relative unknowns.

"Uhhh dunno." She answered, crossing her arms.

"But I can try."

Steven observed as Vivi's eyes went as black as the void once more. The focus possessed on streams of any kind of Gem Magic feared might have been taking place at that moment

"I see like...a greenish fog...leading up the stairs." She said.

That had to be something. Steven immediately walked up the stairs to his former bedroom, with the others following suit.

Once upstairs, he could see his Dad had made himself comfortable; his bed all the same, but there were piles of vinyl records everywhere. The big poster of Kerry Moonbeam plastered on the back wall was there from the day Steven planted it. It was messy but it was homely. Steven wondered how long it took him to realise he had an actual bed now as opposed to his regular habit of sleeping in his van. He still would on occasion, while on tour..

"Apparently there is something...underneath the pillow." Said Vivi.

Steven immediately went to the pillow itself, lifting it up and seeing a piece of paper underneath it with some green text.

"I got your unconventional message. We're at Rose's Fountain - Peridot."

Unconventional message? Oh right...his _actual_ message was going to be something else...but it gave him hope.

"Alright, I know where they are." He said.

"Follow me."

* * *

Upon arrival at the Fountain, it was still filtering water as it normally would. A place of peace, tranquillity and actual healing. He could envision his younger self trying to heal Amethyst's Gem and failing; a once major blow to his confidence as a Crystal Gem.

All these fond memories...those weren't actually fond at all. The flickers of his life that caused him pain. But lead to growth...one way or another.

Though he could see Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot with a bunch of Gems from Little Homeworld, sitting by the Fountain itself, talking. Peridot was the first to notice Steven's arrival; her eyes had gone wide with joy and leaving a sparkling trail of tears as she raised her arms up and charged to swing them around Steven. A sight that warmed his heart, and allowed her to sob into his chest. 

"Oh stars, you're finally here!" She cried.

"I...you..."

He reciprocated with a hug of his own and allowed Peridot to pour her anguish onto him, rubbing the back of her head for her comfort. Bismuth and Lapis approached soon after, relieved at Steven's arrival.

"Oh thank goodness you've come..." Lapis said, pretty much near the same state as Peridot.

"Yeah...oh gosh so much has..."

Steven waived his hand. Their grief was easy to see. Right now, he just needed to get a grip of what actually went down so he could help them further.

"I got your distress signal." I said.

"Lay it on me."

The group sat around the Fountain to discuss the events that had unfolded. Peridot was being exceptionally clingy to Steven, with Volley, Jasper and and Vivi standing by, the latter a bit off put by the fact that Peridot used his long jacket as a tissue to blow her nose.

"They were like shadows." Said Lapis.

"One by one, Gem and human were disappearing...until we got your message."

What message? The unconventional one that Peridot had spoken about?

"It began about two weeks ago." Bismuth continued.

"Vidalia said that she noticed that Barbara went missing on one of her mail routes. Sadie tried calling her but she was only getting an answering machine."

That was troubling.

"Then Kiki went missing...followed by several Gems. The others, Garnet, Amethyst...Pearl....they vanished into thin air too."

A set of words that had Steven's heart sink lower than he expected it too, racing to his gut it seemed.

"But the message gave us the indication something must have gone wrong." Said Peridot.

"It had to do with the Organisation; the Rebellion!"

Of course it did. Steven was too blind to see where he was being lead.

"Fucking Schwarz." Vivi cried.

"She distracted us so we would be away from Earth."

And Steven was silently berating himself for not seeing it sooner. The signs were all there. Getting each of the Diamonds was but a delay to Schwarz's goals.

"Oh you don't think..."

Oh...

Now it was on Steven's mind too. Damn it.

"She's planning to use the humans to grow more Gems...if it wasn't...if it wasn't."

He slammed a fist into his thigh as the anger began to take hold....quaking until he felt Peridot's hand on it.

"They know about the Incubators." Peridot told him.

Peridot being their insider on Earth...at some point the truth would have had to have been revealed.

"They poofed those they knew would be an instant threat to them." Said Bismuth.

And they were quick and silent about it too.

"We never told the others about it though." Said Lapis.

Why not? Steven was surprised they hadn't. Were they honouring his word? It was his fault. He should have seen this coming. All because he didn't trust them to get on his case about being off-world again, jumping into the role that almost killed him previously. He wanted to be angry at them but ultimately, it was himself he was so pissed off at. Rubbing his hand through his hair, Steven had to think of how to resolve this.

"Any indication of where Schwarz would have taken them?" Steven asked.

Because Steven did not want to waste any more time...he was too late for the Zoomans but good grief he was not going to let the population of Beach City suffer the same fates. The three looked at each other, before Bismuth sighed.

"The only one who really knows is Connie." She revealed.

Connie? She was here? Words that brought as much attention to Vivi just as much as Steven.

"Where is she?" Steven demanded, hastened by the need to know.

"I..."

Ever since she nailed him and down and left for better pastures, he never really absorbed the fact of her abandonment of him to Schwarz and her ship. Steven hadn't clarified whether not he had forgiven her for such an act that left him split in the middle as how to really feel about it. Part of him was hurt but...the rest was such a blur on his emotions that hurt was the only one he could define.

"It took us a while to figure out that the monster who was busy shuffling through Little Homeschool trying to find us was her." Peridot said, sheepishly.

And how they did...Steven didn't care. He had to find her.

"But when I knew you send you'd said unconventional its like, the same thing as unusual? Nothing is more unusual than seeing an corrupted Gem that wasn't trying to murder us."

Again, that wasn't what Steven had planned on doing, but he was glad he didn't have to resort to doing it, although he should have acted sooner. Hearing Connie seeking them out like that however, had Steven see Connie's heart clearly and it was so much stronger than his own. A part of her that still had the control he so lacked and envied. A sense of relief washed over him, the only warmth light in the sea of his own sorrow.

"We last saw her flying east." Lapis told him.

East...Steven rubbed his chin, then looked at Vivi.

"Jayhawk is East of here." She said.

Plausible. And not at all surprising. They'd suspected that the labs beneath the college had its own secrets, confirmed by a prior visit. Though it was a base, whether or not that there was more to it, was something worth looking at. Steven had to make plans with haste.

"Volley, contact the Leviathan and have them rescan energy signatures on Jayhawk." He ordered.

"She's gotta have more there than what was already seen."

The Pearl nodded, running off as she made do with the comms. Jasper then stood next to him.

"What about Connie herself?" She questioned.

Steven had to think long and hard about it. Connie must have known but was unable to speak to anyone about her whereabouts.

"She's still in danger if she's hanging around there." Said Vivi, just as worried.

"Celosia said Schwarz wants all of us within her range. Including Connie."

This was bad, but Steven resolved to keep his cool and work through this logically. She had the Gems imprisoned and the humans incarcerated and being prepared for their own demise. 

"Schwarz isn't going to let us go in there as easy. She's already caused us much trouble...and her power..." Jasper commented.

Steven knew what Jasper meant. Brute strength and tearing down into Schwarz's underground facility wasn't going to solve this. 

"She must have the facility several layers deep then." Said Peridot.

"Surely it has to have some kind of weakness." Bismuth suggested.

Rubbing his chin, he figured both Gems were correct. But...looking deep within himself, he had to know more about Schwarz...and the only people who really knew her were White and Celosia. But he also couldn't leave these Gems on their own either.

"I'm going back up to the Leviathan." Said Steven.

"You guys are going to be safer up in there."

The three auxiliary Crystal Gems nodded in tandem.

"Lead the way Admiral." Said Bismuth with a salute.

* * *

Calling down transport, the collection of Gems headed back up to the Leviathan via Roaming Eyes and Lapis and Bismuth had never actually seen the massive Dreadnaught in all it's pink glory as well as the remaining Earth Gems. Once on the Leviathan, Steven had Volleyball relegate the Gems to different areas, though the auxiliaries wished to remain where Steven was in case he needed any help.

"I've got an important meeting with White and Celosia." He told them, though the fearful look on their faces told Steven much...and gazing on Lapis, the window to his previous madness, had him dive back into that territory of discomforting vibes.

"Relax. I know how this must look."

The blue Gem shook her head.

"I would have scarcely believed you to be leading an army...I thought Peridot was pulling my Gem." She commented.

Bismuth, however, was not phased.

"Hey he's just like Rose." She said, nonplussed.

Just like Rose....Steven's fuse was suddenly shortened and that tiny spark was something Bismuth immediately noticed, forgetting it was a sore spot for him.

"I mean...being a leader....sometimes it's what you need to prove your point and get the job done. Unless you're hiding another secret from us Steven."

No he wasn't.

"I'm not mom." He said....it felt like a sentence he's had to repeat for years and it came off a bit more aggressive than intended.

"I don't want any secrets kept. You know me. I'm the guy who just wants peace to be restored and for all this to end..."

And for Connie to be cured...

"I'm still good ol' Steven."

Was he though? He walked around, demonstrating the Gems on the Bridge, especially the Pearls and Nephrites.

"I'm getting the help I need to get this done. It gets completed quicker and easier this way."

The three looked at each other, not entirely convinced. They still felt like something was rather off about it all.

"If you say so." Said Lapis.

So she knew more about Steven than he'd like to admit. He wasn't worse than before. He was better. Steven Diamond was just doing what was necessary for this work and he was relatively balanced and not unhinged in the slightest. Accepting help was the best thing he could have decided he needed.

He looked at Vivi; his associate. They would go back to the surface again soon, with their plan to raid Jayhawk eventually going to fruition. Hearing a beep, he responded to Volley's comms.

"Yes Volley? White's arrived? Good send her to the War Room." He said.

"Vivi. Look after these three for me. I'll be back."

The purple Gem smiled as she gave a salute.

"Aye, Aye Admiral." She said with confidence.

Steven nodded, running off to seek out his fellow Diamond, while the auxiliaries looked at Vivi strangely....and suddenly she felt rather awkward.

* * *

This was important...crucial. Steven's aim to knuckle down Schwarz's character further. History; the entirety of the time White had worked on this project of hers. And Celosia, the last one with the knowledge based on their once frequent interactions. The one she had loved and betrayed. And out of earshot of Blue and Yellow, Steven suspected from their earlier meeting that White was still holding back on crucial information. 

Steven's psyche kept telling him the same feeling applied but he refused to acknowledge it.

"Tell me White." He said, stern.

"Tell what you did...everything that poured into this...mess you made....and I did say I would know if you were lying...or maybe not giving me the whole story."

White was definitely feigning a smile. Celosia made no judgement, not even a single word and prefered to observe. What ever White was going to say was going to be news for her for sure, as her limitations with other Gems were brought on by potential fear of her situation, her life. Her mutism was brief; as Steven could have had a clock that talked more than she did...the ticks and tocks preferable, to anything she was going to spew out of that mouth.

"Schwarz wasn't always Schwarz." Steven continued, crossing his arms. Again, he made her feel small and he wanted her to feel that way.

"What was it about this human that you liked?"

Pursing her lips, White looked to the side, her mind scratching for a logical answer that wasn't going to have Steven scream at her. Steven didn't like it that she wasn't focusing.

"Or was it-"

"I wasn't seeking anyone specific." She eventually said.

"Her production code was BCZ-01. I had Aragonites, Vivianites and Angelites on the ground at the time...working for my Court."

Vivianites...Steven knew them well...or not enough. Their culture aimed at keeping out of range with any kind of major conflict. Mostly blue, some green. Originally in Blue's Domain, they somehow got got smudged under the other two as Gem Investigators.

"The same Vivianites whom had sworn to neutrality and refused to help fight in the Rebellion?" Steven stated, refusing to sugar coat anything. Like Vivi had said, honesty was better than integrity. White wasn't exactly the queen of tact herself.

She swallowed and pressed her hands together in front of her.

"They're a group of Gems that are neutral for a reason." She said.

"Removing bias from their judgement was essential."

At the time. Not anymore.

"They examined humans as unique as I was in charge of exploring different Gem types and their uses. But I was also one to experiment with various methods to produce those Gems."

And so she chose the most impractical and immoral?

"I am allowed to conduct Thesis. Perfection attained through testing determined to be adequate sources and production schemes to procure new forms of Gem life. Not all of it got to my standards and it was only privy to certain Gems. Not even Blue or Yellow were made aware."

It was always about perfection with her. Driving her to different lengths that at some length White must have expected them to be less than savoury that she'd shield her fellow Diamonds from the results. Another image to be created to ascertain her idea for erasing flaws.

"Schwarz just happened to be the first prototype. Even with the best Sapphires...one couldn't really predict the formulation of human nature into the equation."

Steven kinda saw where this was going.

"The original game Pink had played drew my attention in the subtle ways. Yellow and Blue were busy sending out our legions and I was thinking outside the box. I wanted to know about this quarrelsome Rose Quartz and why she had decided to challenge the ruling system. I was correct in knowing it was Pink's doing and it was so typical of her."

Yet she failed to tell Yellow and Blue about her discovery and punished them for being more blind to the obvious facts...questioning their intelligence in solitude.

"So you knew she was also fascinated with humanity and sought to use one for ironies sake." Steven accused, bringing up the point once more.

This was also an obvious fact...but Steven required more out of such a complex decision. It didn't seem all that logical other than to torment his mother.

"Organics were always beneath us." White continued.

"Pink had smothered herself in the inferior beings. But humans were the most varied in their genetics so I became intrigued with their potential...certainly one of the smartest creatures we'd come across."

Somehow that flattery felt more like an insult.

"What happened when she first formed?" Celosia asked, breaking her own silence.

Yes now they were getting somewhere.

"She emerged with her primitive human mindset intact." White revealed.

"Given her orders like any good Gem and left to her own devices, feeding me the details every few decades or so."

That anger from before rose up again.

"Humans that go through thousands of years are not the same as Gems who can do so naturally." Celosia said, slipping in those important details.

"Schwarz had her identity. You think she was going to follow you blindly, when she, had her own dreams and ambitions as a human and as a Gem; left questioning why those around her died while she did not."

Was she even aware of of who or what she was? Was she generally looking at conquest or was she a simple hunter-gatherer to provide for her family. Something they may never find out.

"Celosia is just like Schwarz." Steven said, presenting the orange Gem next to him.

"But this isn't about types of Gems. This is about just one Gem. One you let loose upon the world and grew disdain for her positioning and discovery she had the power to force herself out of the direction you wanted her to take."

That was, continuing the same Eras 1 and 2 pathways.

"Then she's obviously flawed." White said, almost putting up her nose at Steven, appearing stuffy for that false bravado.

"But don't you want Gems to decide their fate Steven? Even with those flaws? This is questioning everything she's done after Era 3 was introduced. There was nothing heard from her until recently. Don't you think a change of rules has also created a problem?"

Oh Steven knew. He kicked himself daily for not thinking over it all properly. Rules and guidelines were there for a reason. Nothing enforced meant chaos.

"Change comes with its blessings and its curses." Celosia pointed out. Her soft voice came in the contrast of the strengthen tones of the most dangerous of Diamonds.

"People place blame because they want a reason, an excuse...a justification for the horrible things that happen. The best we can do, is to try and fix or adjust to the circumstances such changes bring. That is the nature of humanity."

And Steven had his own issues with matters changing because he wanted them to stay the same.

"Schwarz had this planned. She had a Sapphire by her side for many years. Intentionally using her to predict the fates of her targets. Unfortunately, with the nature of humanity is the versions of good and evil that aren't always met on the same boundaries of other species, especially Gems."

Teetering on the lines between...but there were so many of them...blurred even.

"But you don't need a Sapphire to know that the lack of foresight is the general cause. Human nature has always been unpredictable....as you have stated."

White wasn't sure about Celosia; a product of Schwarz's making. She could see the orange Gems case, her wisdom on that same level she used to see in Steven, whom had changed from this cheerful half-breed to a darker version of Yellow and Blue that she incidentally, didn't see coming either. The lack of the aformentioned foresight was the reason she needed Gems like Sapphires to begin with.

"Gems of personal judgement." White said, her focus on the Professor.

"I'm not certain but I would say without a doubt, that your short-lived Gem line is an absolute failure."

And on to the surface was White's cold, hard tactlessness yet again. Steven knew it wasn't too far away, no matter how much of a front White would create in these situations. He began to think more on Vivi's philosophy more and more and begun to hold distaste for White's grandma-like persona. She hadn't changed that much, he figured.

And it was his fault; he tried. There should have been more oversight to _White's_ actions....and that it wasn't as easy as flipping a coin to get her to turn the other cheek completely.

"Their powers say otherwise." Steven argued

"Gem scanning and illusions are two of the powerful abilities they grew on their own...and interference with electronics." Steven informed her.

Not to mention, extremely dangerous.

"Then what do you need me for if you have it all figured out?" White complained.

"You surely can counter your foes if you know this. It's not that difficult."

No. But Steven had hoped for one last try at a civil conversation....the shades of doubt reigning his doubt, but he had to for the sake of the chance, no matter how low.

"She was of _your_ design first." Steven answered, his tone lifted and annoyance drifting and waving about.

"If all Gems were made in your very image then you must know what these Gems are about."

She had to, if she was still calling herself, the once famed White Diamond, former leader of the Gem Empire. Every single Gem had a purpose to serve and Schwarz was no different.

"I can accept if she was a random human that met your standards. Before you forced her to create a Gem against her will."

White sneered at Steven's accusations, her manner switching from calm to flippant within seconds.

"It was _not_ against her will!" She cried, slamming the table in front of her and shaking the room.

"Schwarz was a murderer of her own kin. The Vivianites saw this attribute favourable and offered her the position which she had so willingly accepted."

Murderer??? Even Celosia was stunned.

"Oh she was said to have killed many humans in some civil war with some primal tribes." White continued.

"She looked to rule over her people with an iron fist and we had hoped she would have persuaded the humans to stand down...but instead she slaughtered them for no other discernible reason than to show off her strength."

This was just getting worse.

"I didn't think...oh gosh..." Celosia said, shocked.

"She used her power to rule and enslave humans...and she did this for a long time...and she'd asked me for more troops and I said she was not fit nor was she in any position outside of her allocated station to ask me for anything. She was to continue her observations and that was it."

And she expected Schwarz to just...fall in line? This was insane. Sheer ignorance at its finest.

"She served me for thousands of years and the reports came in...up until the last few decades."

To keep up the facade.

"The reports went into great detail of what she had done and what she had seen. And a lot of it...still demanding back up."

And she wasn't going to get it.

"This must have been the last straw." Steven said.

Celosia disagreed.

"No, she had been plotting this for years. Given how much she was complaining about being lonely, I'm honestly not surprised."

Why did that sound familiar?

"And so the attack on Homeworld. No one knew it was coming?" Steven questioned, going back the infamous incident.

White sighed, placing her hand on her cheek as she tilted her head to the left; her vexation underneath her crumbling false sadness.

"No we didn't." She admitted.

"I believe you what you say is that what was seen was nothing more than a fabrication. Only such trickery could get by us....and I got us all dissipated for it."

Finally some acceptance of fault here.

"Schwarz enacting her vengeance us due to grievances...I would do the same thing in her position."

_Really?_

"But if you think someone who toys with your kind, your family is just as redeemable as anyone else, by all means attempt to get her out of that dredge."

Steven wasn't so sure now. The actual monster was still on Earth and time was running out...but this gave less pressure as to Steven's measure of how to defeat her...when her charisma, power and deception were his main obstacles. Should he aim for a straight out poof then?

"But it is your hand on the dial of her future. I do not care if you shatter her or not. Era 3 rules would normally forbid, this is one of the only exceptions I would pressure to grant."

Flashing back to both Emeralds and Holly Blue's near death experiences; Steven wasn't sure he had the guts to shatter...unless it was his Perfect form that would make that decision without hesitation.

"Would you shatter myself or Vivi because we are of the same Gem type?" Celosia dared to ask.

White grumbled.

"You do not seem to be like her...nor does Vivi." She answered.

"But in Steven's Court, no one is to be shattered. No one."

Steven checked the time...he had to take action either way. But the knowledge itself, once White was done beating around the bush like she normally does, was going to prove useful. He had a slightly better idea of the angle he could take now and his purpose was a bit stronger. But now White's mention of the rules he made...made it seem like he was given further responsibilties than he was originally granted...and it gave him the entrance to a proposal he's had in his head for a while.

"We'll talk about Schwarz's fate in fair trial." He said.

"All of us will attend once this is all over...and there will be a lot of new laws we will need to implement to prevent this from happening ever again....and that means you too White."

White's eyes widened.

" _Me_? What about me?"' She queried, appearing so offended.

Most importantly, Steven was a hundred percent serious with his proposal.

"You _will_ be put on trial not long after Schwarz's." He said. Standing at the head of the table, arms by his side and standing up straight with the strictest posture; the image of being the immovable object in his head.

"The measure of pain you had on everything is too great to be left forgotten. The state of the universe and Gems scarred and broken..."

White blinked....she was not expecting this at all....the shrinking feeling getting stronger by the moment. The audacity...

"B-but Steven, we've done everything we can to fix up what we had done and-"

"I'm not finished." Steven declared....he hated it when White interrupted him.

"I've already been in contact with Blue and Yellow. We've talked about this in ad-hoc. We've agreed. Just need to work out the finer details."

Was this a threat? White wasn't even sure what to do...and if Yellow and Blue were on board then...

"But I will still need you for now White. I will make sure of that." Steven declared.

"Head back to your frigate. We will talk again soon."

* * *

Some of that felt cathartic to say....and the look of astonishment on White's face was better than he'd thought it would be. There was some kind of guilty pleasure in watching her squirm for some reason. Celosia walked alongside him, questioning his methods, but made the smart move not to say anything. She knew Steven's anger and fury well enough by now that it was often better to stay quiet, than to deal with his wrath.

"I don't plan to shatter Schwarz." Steven told her, as they walked through the halls, going back to the bridge.

"But something tells me....the temptation is gonna linger."

Celosia gulped, terrified.

"I'm certain that poofing her and trialling her is the best course of action to take." She said.

"But that's easier said than done."

She wasn't wrong. Steven could appreciate her knowledge when she decided to feed it to him. Knowing when to deliver it on ways Steven never knew he'd thought would need.

"I'll head back to my room to meditate." He said.

"Work with the others to scan Jayhawk. I need an outline of what you can find down there. Not just the surface labs, but anything that you can find..."

Celosia nodded. Hopefully they'll get a better focus this time on one singular location. She knew the Gems there well enough and trusted their know how to get things done...but at this stage, giving Steven's disturbing manner, the way he was so tense and cold had her a bit scared of disappointing him...and failing him.

"Of course Admiral." She acknowledged, before walking off.

* * *

Heading back to his room again...the only good grace he had was saving several Gems and having them on the Leviathan was the most positive event to happen in a while. A step in the right direction..and he was glad they were here and that it brought that tiniest sense of normalcy back into his life. The sheer joy he felt from seeing them. It was nice. Hovering above the Earth; so close meant a lot. He was both confident and nervous in the swirling paradox of his emotions. His patience had to be strengthened due to his anxiety telling him to go down there already. But he refused to go down there without all the facts and figures. Know thy enemy and all that.

Shoes off and jacket on the hook by the door, Steven was ready for the smallest patch of peace for everything would eventually spiral out of control. Because that was the worst case scenario that he felt was inevitably going to take place.

He was soon met with another knock at the door....figures he would be disturbed on the regular just as he was getting to the thick of things.

"Heyo Stevo."

Vivi.

"Mind if I come in?"

Vivi's company was especially welcomed as of late...even though they were quite frequent enough that he wondered if she was making it a habit. The progression of making friends outside of Beach City an indicator of his independent journey, even if she was a Gem, it still counted for his overall social improvements. The one trait he admired with her was indeed, her human nature - the fact that White loathed it made it all the more better.

She came in, closed the door and leaned against the wall, then realised Steven was on the bed with his legs crossed.

"Oh soz I didn't-"

It didn't matter.

"It's alright. I probably wasn't going to achieve much anyway, with all this going on." He said.

How odd how he didn't find himself mad with her. He was jealous of her originally, but now Steven was feeling something completely different.

"Yeah it's some bullshit if you ask me." She said.

Steven noticed her zipper was down again, her Gem glistening in the starlight from the roof window....which was actually just a screen to outside camera, now that he thought about it.

"I don't know why you're not gonna sic the Armada on Jayhawk?"

For obvious reasons.

"Humans will think we're a threat." He answered.

"I'm an advocate for the opposite. The little interference we have, the better."

A statement that earned a chuff from Vivi.

"Ehhh what if Schwarz decides to attack with her own fleet?" She questioned.

An obvious answer.

"We'll respond in kind." Steven replied.

Vivi nodded, then rubbed her chin.

"Ahh you're waiting for her to make the first move. Clever." She said.

Something like that. It'd been a suggestion made by Jasper.

"Well if you need help relaxing, I've been told by Connie that I would make a excellent masseuse."

He watched as she cracked her fingers and waggled them about in front of her. If this was going to pass the time then Steven wouldn't argue.

"Sure...been a while since I've had one." He said with a smile.

Vivi beamed as she jumped on the bed, kneeling down behind him. She pulled up her sleeves and rubbed her hands together. Steven closed his eyes and felt Vivis thumbs press hard and run in circles against his muscles and around his shoulder blades.

"You're so tense! Fuck me..." She complained...although it was true. He could do without the cursing however.

He made a slight chuckle as he smiled. Vivi's intentions here were unknown to him but it mattered little as long as she hit the right spots. He could hear the cracks and pops and winced at first places that were sensitive.

"You massaged Connie?" He asked.

Vivi smirked.

"Got some practice on each other." She answered.

"We spoke about life and love and all the lovely bits you would only get to chat about, if you're of the feminine persuasion."

Ah. Well, he didn't think Connie would have kept her mouth shut the entire time she was at college. Be weird if she did.

"But she told me a lot about Gem stuff...like shapeshifting....you can do that right?"

Uhh...

"Yeah but I prefer not unless I really have to." Steven said, not exactly wanting to welcome his first few tries pouring back into his head.

"Amethyst is the best in that depar _ugh._..."

She really hit a sensitive spot that really made him shirk and Vivi had to withhold her laughter.

"Yeah she said that too..." She said.

"But you know those well in depth conversations where someone slips up and reveals something because they're super comfortable and cool in letting you know?"

He's had similar situations although the other person wasn't always cool at that moment.

"I wouldn't call that ...gah! A slip up." Steven advised.

"They probably were intending to say something at some point. They just didn't have the opportunity."

And when was Steven eventually going to deal with his wounded mind? Until he was nearly broken beyond repair. He made sure not to fall into that trap again.

"True." Vivi hummed.

"Anyway, Connie...must have intended to say for me to take care of you if anything happens. Isn't that weird for her to admit?"

Wait what?

"Anything happens? Hold on, when did she say that?" Steven queried.

To Vivi, a while ago now. She could have said to him that Connie at first, wasn't sure if Vivi being around Steven wasn't a good thing, but after a while of knowing Vivi in college, there was a lot Connie could see to tell her that Vivi was a fighter and knowing what she was opened up a lot for her over all. More for to explore after too many years in the dark.

Admitting to Steven that she was used and abused...and from what Celosia told her about Schwarz's intentions and actions...Vivi could only really trust Steven and Connie...although, with the direction Steven was taking, she had this horrible comparison that had her subconsciously linking him with her terrible adoptive father.

And she knew Steven was a million times better than him by far, but she linked it towards how Steven would pushed too far could become this...she shouldn't say monstrous. Dark was probably the only real word she could use to describe the manner in which his entire being had warped into this entity that took the lead in stressful environments. Vivi knew all about that...but Steven was not all like that asshole. Just the fear he could instil was nearly the same as that she would have correlated to a conniving worm.

Bonding with Connie taught her a lot too. People knew her at the College but kept their distance. She'd never felt as close with anyone as she did with that lil Maheswaran. At least, until she started hanging with Steven a bit more. And such as the curse of where her heart decided what it wanted to hold itself towards. There was no fork; somehow she was still moved to both directions like she was split in half and the gift of her spirit left in the packages on their doorsteps. How much to give when she wasn't sure if she wanted either them to open it and the terror of the rejection of either, was a nerve Vivi was too protective of to lay bare out in the open like that. It's not the first time, but she was damned if it wasn't the most agonisingly powerful and large of internal ordeals she had problems coping with. 

She's been left with heart broken and repaired one too many times. She could risk it all and lose everything...and nine times out of ten that's exactly what happened.

"Connie was worried sick about you...it got a bit irritating after a while." Vivi said.

"But her love for you isn't anything I have seen in other people before. I'm known for being cynical but it gave me hope for a similar relationship one day. She said...if I remember correctly, that she know its silly to have you on her thoughts twenty four seven because of what happened. Where you are and what you're doing all the time, wondering if you're okay."

Did seem silly. Steven had his ups and downs but that became the new norm. He'd be on the bottom of the hill but would find himself on top again eventually. His heart ached for Connie's presence.

"Connie's always been the strong one, mentally." Steven explained, his head heavy with melancholy as it fell forward slightly.

"She's always sought to understand and push even when I was the one doing the pushing."

Among other things.

"The unstoppable object; as opposed to the immovable one." Vivi stated, continuing to rub Steven's lower back.

"My Behemoth was one or the other. The defence my Therapist once said was the symbol of the part of myself that aimed to protect my inner fragility."

Vivi? Fragile?

"You've talked about your Leviathan. The pain that swims in the ocean in your head...it isn't grounded, but it runs circles around your mind and strikes where it is needed."

His Leviathan.

"I think...I think Connie is what we call, the Ziz."

The Ziz...

"Mythology would dictate the roles we have to play. The Leviathan. Opposition of God. You fought against the Diamond Authority; you, once their enemy. But you still fight against powers that detest you and what you stand for."

He never thought about it like that; Leviathans weren't in the Animal Symbolism book like all the others...it was something Sandra called for his pain and his acceptance.

"The Behemoth; A name my Therapist called for my pain. I felt like a burden but I was that which would come into service somewhere in my life...like you, to use it for a purpose....and I was grounded in reality more so. I was more a doer than a thinker but even then, I find myself active enough to detract those thoughts which had hindered me."

Not unlike Steven himself.

"And the Ziz. A protector. Her words but guide us towards a better fate. Watching over our troubled spirits."

He wouldn't deny Connie's saved his life a few times. But his turmoil over her actions continued to persist.

"Do you think her abandoning me was supposed to be that?" Steven questioned.

Vivi shrugged. She wasn't there and did not know the fully story other than Steven's view of it.

"I can't say." She said.

"She wouldn't have done it without a solid reason."

No. She wouldn't have. He was hurt by it still...

"I should know her better." Steven said with sadness...annoyed with himself more than anything.

"Even a corrupted version is smarter than me."

He shouldn't even been comparing, whacking his forehead with that offensive statement.

"Don't beat yourself over it Stevo." Vivi told him, lowering her chin to his shoulder. Her breath on his neck made him shiver as she had pressed her torso against his back, wrapping her arms around him.

"I can see what she sees in you. I see what you see in her. The feelings mutual." 

Right now he couldn't stop thinking for things that were still out of his control. For all that which he could get his hands on, more slipped out, like he could only carry so much and what he did have still left him twisted up in the complicated chains of his emotions. Vivi was the same, giving him a light peck on his shoulder. Her goal, as far as where her emotions were guiding her, were to snap him out of the sea of trance and out to the seeds of the surface where he belonged. Shivering, Steven furrowed his brows as his nerves were plucked in a very striking way. He couldn't move, Vivi's hands softly holding his chest towards her. It wasn't tight but it rendered him solid.

And Vivi herself felt like she could partake in some kind Gem knowledge, lessons learned off hand and experimented on ever since she heard about shapeshifting. If what could calm him was seeing her again, Vivi did what she could and shapeshifted into a purple facsimile of his girlfriend with the effort provided in her form. For what little warmth it could give, Vivi could but try.

Only she could also mimic her voice...

"And I sincerely hope you both see something in Vivi..." She said.

A sentence that had him freeze at first at hearing Connie's voice again...and it wasn't until he felt her suckling on his neck that made Steven's eyes open with realisation, jumping off the bed and towering over the purple Gem. No. This _wasn't_ right...the manner Vivi was so afraid of returned...the darkness within the Admiral that had come to the surface.

"No...no Vivi what are you _doing?_ " He cried, tears running down his cheeks, his heart sinking upon the very visual of Connie in front of him.

Vivi looked down, shapeshifting back into her normal self. _Idiot_...why did she do that? She should have known better than to step into territory she assumed he was comfortable with, given the slices of what Connie wanted to do him and suggested that he enjoyed. But ultimately, she didn't. Her openness with comfort in this depth wasn't as...promising with the judgement of her own needs against others.

"I don't aim to replace Connie." Vivi told him, her voice almost cracking. A hand to the heart, pleading. She wanted to be honest with him but the power behind the action was too hungry to ignore.

"Far from that. I'm only doing what she's asked me to do."

Connie would never ask anyone to do that...as far as Steven was made aware.

"If she wants you take care of me, that- that's fine. I don't think it actually involved _this._.."

That's how she's done it with other people to give them in their time of need...to fit into their expectations....but maybe...she should have factored in...no. She _has_ to let him know. If she doesn't...then it would eat at her for months and years to come. Steven's frantic response told her a lot, however...but he had to be reasonable. Sitting there, the look of despair with her hands limp on the blanket in front of her and legs folded like she'd just fallen to the ground...feeling the shrink in her confidence. She sighed...

"I said to you I prefer honesty. And I want to be honest in return." She continued, wiping her tears.

"I like you Steven."

He blinked.

"And Connie..."

And Connie?

"Vivi...I don't...I don't understand..." Steven stammered, unsure of what to think.

Of course he didn't. Nobody did and here Vivi was, dragging her emotional problems now of all times when Steven had a million other issues at hand.

"I don't blame you." She said, with a weak chuckle.

"There's so few relationships I've had that turn out as well as what I've received from the both of you and..... _fuck_...I should have known to fuck this up yet again...this always happens and I'm so fucking _hopeless_."

She wanted to see herself as wise and helpful. Instead, she was still a little girl having no idea what she should do...and the matters of religion and philosophy were just parts she had believed that would allow her to find her way through the world without being known as the grape pancake. Her strength, she knew was but a mask to her own fucked up self...and what she wanted was to keep both him and Connie close. Losing even one, the thought was devastating.

Steven's heart was pounding from an unusual reason...and tried to think what he could do to help Vivi. Shaking his head, he refused yet again to be mad. Looking at himself and his own feelings, he wasn't going to deny he was kind of attracted to Vivi? He wasn't sure. But that was something different compared to how he felt about Connie. Sighing, he wasn't going to intimidate her further, so Steven slipped back on the bed, shuffling across on his knees. and took Vivi into his arms, leaving her to gasp in surprise. A hug like this was soft and contented, no trace of malice or hate. Vivi didn't think malicious and Steven at the same time. So she reciprocated the hug in turn.

"I'm sorry for being a clingy piece of shit." Vivi joked, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

Steven chuckled.

"You're not." He assured her, his voice calm and soothing.

The two embraced this vulnerable moment...as Steven noticed the glow from his Gem and Vivi's, who begun to freak out and disengage. She pursed her lips and brushed profusely.

"Oh shit what the fuck..." She screamed, as the glow disappeared.

He forgot Vivi didn't exactly have much experience with uh...he smiled however... this sort of thing was a happy accident most of the time. The best Steven could do was guide her, putting his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She knows of it, but not what's involved. She's only known what to give for a human but not as Gem. Sacred and momentous. Truth to him was the hidden dam being opened to new waters undiscovered but...Steven figured hope was the horizon anyway. Things he didn't know but in his heart, the right thing to do was to talk to Connie once this was all over. 

This was the sort of thing that made him proud to be a Gem and a human...the halves struggled to keep balances and checks with. He'd almost forgotten the connections he could form with others. And he could elaborate this with Vivi's own favourite quote.

"Think of it not necessarily finding your own light." He explained.

"But trusting the light you already have with someone else."

It took her a good moment, holding her chin between her thumb and index finger as she pouted. Contemplating such a context.

"Kind of like Stevonnie right?" She theorised.

He smiled. He couldn't recall if Vivi had ever met Stevonnie but he figured Connie would have explain the gist of it and who they were.

"Exactly." He answered, taking her hands. If Vivi desired some kind of bond with him, like Steven had bonded with many others beforehand, then this was the perfect way to solidify it.

"I...I care about you Vivi...and it seems my light can be trusted with yours. And fusion is all about that."

Words that had Vivi laugh.

"Yeah I guess that makes some ounce of sense..." She said, her eyes unable to look into his own.

He'd rather Vivi continue to be herself than anyone else. He could see what she was trying to do...and maybe she was genuine in saying she didn't want to replace Connie...as Steven began to think on the lines of Vivi not wanting to break their friendship over something like this if she said she cared for Connie like she claimed.

"Look I'm sorry." Vivi continued, downtrodden.

"I know how Connie makes you feel. And it was silly for me to think that..."

Steven shook his head. He understood how disconcerting it was as history with shapeshifting wasn't always a positive and seeing Vivi as Connie riled him up something fierce and harsh but...Vivi didn't know that. Perhaps she thought she was doing the right thing. Steven's had just as much experience in that issue for as long as he could remember.

"Vivi don't stress." He told her.

"It's complicated. I get that. I'm not worried anymore. My own emotions are garbage to try and reel in and make heads or tails of. I'm kind of the king of....uh...'fucked up' emotions."

Now that made Vivi laugh in Steven's spotted cursing. She honestly didn't see that coming.

"You ain't wrong dude." She commented.

"I mean yeah emotions fucking suck hardcore. And it's like WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME? I JUST WANT TO BE FREE BUT NOOO...."

Arguments on the daily. That's just how life worked these days with him.

"But some are worth exploring." Steven explained.

"And knowing those who make you feel happy are definitely worth keeping around."

Biting her lip, Viv knew she would step on toes...but she only learned so much about fusion from Connie...where as she figured someone like Steven would have had tonnes of insight, being who he was an all.

"Would you...or even Connie be mad if I was to ask to fuse?" She queried.

An honest concern, if Steven had think about it hard enough.

"Connie would definitely be cool with it." Steven assured her.

"In fact Connie would be excited...as would Garnet and Amethyst. Pearl maybe...actually no she would just ecstatic."

As for him? Steven wouldn't mind trying. His curiosity over the person they would form would make for an interesting character. He shuffled himself off the bed and offered his hand to Vivi, who was smirking in a way that said she couldn't believe he was agreeing to do this with her. Part of her was telling her not to take this for granted. Taking his hand, the two stood in the small space in front of the bed itself...

Dancing in the Admiral's Quarters wasn't what Steven had in mind. There wasn't a great deal of room, but it was certainly larger than most so it would have to do. Now that he could see Vivi, she was only a bit shorter than Steven, but she had longer legs by default. He placed a hand on her hip and hers was around his neck.

"What is this, the fucking waltz?" She joked.

Grabbing her other hand, Steven was more amused than anything.

"We don't have a lot of space for contemporary." He stated.

"Which is normally what we do. Dancing in sync with the others is the other method for fusion. Depends on the connection the two components share."'

Vivi nodded as she absorbed it in. But something was off.

"So our Gems were glowing because we wanted to fuse? Why do we have to dance then?" She questioned.

Then came the complex part.

"Some fusions are accidental. But we literally just talked about 'fucked up' feelings."

So...they were to blame?

"Stevonnie and Smoky were formed because my close relationships with both Connie and Amethyst. Garnet says there's a common thread between us that we're not often not aware of. And I know you and I have a lot in common."

The two slow danced around the tiny space. He could have used music, but the silence wasn't the worst thing.

"Huh...I guess." Vivi said in response, still puzzled.

"Will I disappear?"

Fusion was a tricky subject. So Steven used what he learned from Garnet.

"No...you still exist." He told her.

"We're an experience onto itself. Who we form together is a blend...once we get to that point you'll know what I mean..."

The concerned looked on her face meant Vivi wasn't too sure. Steven stopped to check in.

"If you don't want to go ahead with it Vivi if you're scared..."

No. She wasn't scared.

"It's not that." She said.

"As someone who was born and raised as a human, to think along the logical lines of being an alien...this still feels alien to me. I envy you and your established connections."

Vivi, jealous of him?

"My first perception of you as this weak-minded guy who had no clue what he was doing and I was like, this the same guy who saved the galaxy right?"

Heh...Steven was used to people not understanding him overall.

"But I got to know you a bit better. And I see...you're still chasing your own light but you thrive on that journey. And I keep thinking that once I find my own that everything would fall into place."

If that was anything like a happily ever after, then Steven could grasp that just as much.

"I know what you mean." He said.

"I...I was jealous of you....I mean, I cried to Connie because I was so jealous of your humanity being better than mine. How petty is that?"

He gave a light hearted chuckle, to which Vivi smiled once more.

"Yeah that is petty." She said.

"If there is one thing I wish to control is but our feelings."

She wasn't wrong. The two eventually stopped talking, as Vivi put her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat and pursed her lips. A sensation that overwhelmed her and Steven too...as their gems began to glow and their forms forming in a white light. 

* * *

In their place was a taller, lankier being. Faded yellow hair with small round puffy tufts in the same formation as Stevens curls, and the two side curtain fringes Vivi had were instead curled around their chin. Their face, round with two sets of eyes and golden freckles on top of chocolate brown skin, with their upper lip the darkest brown and the lower, like glittering bronze.

The Fusion went to the onsuite, popping out the floor length mirror to get a better look. Opening their eyes; the top pair a light brown and the bottom pair a darker brown. They wore Steven's black star shirt (the Admiral version) and Vivi's purple zip hoodie, except that was a dark brown with black trimmings. The shirt was cut up above their abdomen, revealing their shaded brown Gems, with Steven's on the left and Vivi's on the right. Their Gems had multiple shades of brown, gold and yellow. Below that was Vivi's shorts...once, like before, purple but now were a similar colour to their hair. And Stevens blue pants had become tight blue leggings

Their shoes; Vivi's boots. Or Steven's...black either way. Black fingerless gloves to match. And the overall design they felt looked like a similar to Rainbows and Stevonnie's, especially when it came to the body type they had together.

Feelings were harder to explain that before. Intensified? Maybe. But they were here. Existing and the realisation poured like mercury into their conjoined mind.

"Fudgesticks." They said in pure disbelief, voice somewhat raspy.

Running their hands through their soft hair, they had a moment to themselves to debate on their name.

"Wait, we're supposed to have a name...we need a name. Let Steven handle it...and we'll just say it on the count of three...okay?"

This was fun, even if it was kind of odd.

"Okay...one....two...three.... **.BRONZITE!"**

They blinked, not expecting that at all.

"Crikey, _Bronzite_ was the best you could think of, you limp noodle?"

Giggling, they were just kidding. Bronzite was more than satisfied, giddy even, all the while fearless in the way they liked to make fun of themselves, walking around Steven's Quarters while adjusting themselves, getting to know Bronzite as an entity.

"Eh doesn't matter now. We...are the most fricking awesome team right now. Schwarz can go suck a egg! Heck yeah!" They said while throwing a fist into the air.

Oh so daring with all those...curses? Why did they seem so watered down? Bronzite didn't care. Their cares could float in the seas and their worries could buried...such as the nature of the Leviathan and Behemoth no longer haunting Steven and Vivi.

Sitting down on the couch, Bronzite still wanted to reflect on how they were feeling, looking up at the stars in the monitor. The beach of which contained their mutual emotional prospects.

"So that's how...wow..." They said, their arms stretched above the couch and crossing their legs.

"You feel about....I see I see. Darn. I think...no no, don't think about that..."

But now they were already going through the motions of conflicting aspects that would always threaten to tear fusions apart. Bronzite knew what they had to do, however.

"It's okay. We can accept it." They continued.

"We'll only fall apart, if we fall from sync.....and we can bring Garnet to sing to us!"

Did they really want that though?

"Hahah...yeah sing...ooh can I still play music? I don't think we brought a keyboard on this ship? Maybe I can get Vivi's one from her dorm room?"

Now wasn't the time for that, however.

"We have our priorities." Bronzite chastised.

"But right now we need to chill...you feel me?"

A response that was met with a nod. Bronzite grinned.

The fusion relaxed in the twilight mood, the contentment of the balance shared was absolutely phenomenal. The control was almost effortless, pleasant. The part of Bronzite that belonged to Vivi was incredibly cautious but she felt safe within them as it was like Steven held onto her so gently, like he was holding her hand the entire time.

"You just tell me when you want to stop." The Steven side of Bronzite explained.

Did they want to though?

"I'm okay." Said the Vivi side, as Bronzite slipped down to lie on the couch instead. They went on their back, holding one hand behind their head and another on their stomach, above their Gems and a knee that poked upwards.

"I'm trusting the lights inside of me. All of them...they're beautiful. I just wish Connie could join me."

And that overly strong feeling came back again. Effed up as it was. But it wasn't the worst. Just being there...floating...being....existing.

"One day she will. I see that happening...and maybe I can give her the best darn back massage she ever had! A plan that has no holes in it, what so ever."

They laid there for a while in silence and a small grin on their face...in control and admiring everything that was so complex about it all. Sharing the same parts of each other and not being afraid to do so. Bronzite was left to rummage through what was allowed and what was known to them and the strength and wisdom of their components left the thinking in levels regular humans would never normally see. There was still the parts of sadness with the happiness and that, oddly enough, felt relatively normal.

Though it would be odd to call a fusions responsibilities the same as their components. Steven Diamond wasn't Bronzite but he was responsible for them. So was Vivi. And that he had no choice but to allow Vivi to see him as he could see her and be able to extend the flexibility to enable their fusion to be strong. Steven missed that part of Stevonnie...but as Bronzite it was okay if he did. Vivi wasn't going to judge him for it, nor was Steven going to do so against Vivi's own twisted specs. That was the idea of their profound trust in one another. The reach to ensure that they were still connected in the best ways possible.

Peace and tranquillity were in order...until Steven's comms went off some time later.

The crew finally had something...

* * *

Meanwhile, in a lab somewhere deep underground, a woman strode in her high heels that clanked against the floor, across closed tubes that stretched out as far as she could see. She exited out of the cold room at the end of it, and arrived in giant room that had a familiar corrupted entity in chains and spread across the metal plate, watching a figure in a long black lab coat and curly white hair approached her.

"Connie, Connie, Connie..." She said, adjusting her glasses.

She thrashed against the chains and screeched at the woman; knowing it was Schwarz made her extremely pissed off.

"Don't worry I suspect we shall be seeing your beloved partner very soon...and we will see the extent of his being and his morals...and then he will be the next one clamped in chains."

Schwarz walked towards a console and made work with her projects, her back to her while a cage popped out of the ground. With what Connie could muster with what little mental capacity she had could manage, she was horrified with what she was intending to do. Connie's actions weren't exactly a reflection of her true intentions...she barely had control of herself as it was but she had something she could spare to send Steven another warning, another message. Without Schwarz noticing, Connie summoning a dark wispy spectre with glowing green eyes in front of her, holding a single glistening green feather, raising it up towards the ceiling and letting it go, the form fading away as the corrupted Connie fell into slumber.

Was it greedy to hope for a lot?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do ya'll like Bronzite? :D


	37. The Division

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven makes the move on Jayhawk, however finds things there much worse than anyone could imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays...cursed writers block plus gaming and stuff.  
> Thanks for sticking around! Enjoy!

They'd found it.

Despite it possibly being the most obvious location, they finally discovered that Dr. Schwarz had a massive base of operations that went far deeper than the original lab they found under Jayhawk. 

A group of them in the War Room, with the interior of the construct as a bright blue hologram that served as the only light source in the room. This was thanks to the collective efforts of Peridot, Cubedot, Celosia and a few other Gems. They went on to explain how far it went down, like a spiral towards massive chambers that were oozing a lot of electrical energy. That wasn't a good sign.

Steven steeled himself at the helm on the table; the light in his eyes and the monitors that had the feeds from the other ships looking over. A lot of talking, planning...he'd lie to himself and to the others if he said he wasn't nervous about it all. But that made it all the more important to get in and out as quickly as they can. Which was easier said than done.

Steven was an optimist, but then he'd become more of a realist alongside it, teetering on the edges of pessimism; the scales yet to favour anyone type of mind set. It would lead to confusion no doubt, mentally drained as he was already with all of this. The battles won and lost in a war he never wanted to be a part in, but ultimately understood his own status and power held influence. It shouldn't, but he was glad it did something that was giving the key to victory or else it would have been over before it began a long time ago.

These Gems; his people. Focused and strong, dedicated and swift in their actions if Steven but only opened his mouth. He had to remember that Schwarz must have been the same; the effort of diverting his time and energy with saving the Diamonds only secondary to the most heinous of plots now obvious to them.

All agreed that she was mass producing Gems with human incubators. 

The recapture of the Zoo had only been the beginning and to Steven, the obvious now apparent with Beach City Citizens...maybe with more humans from other places, were being used as kindergartens. The act is itself, treacherous, immoral. Not a single shred of doubt lingered that Schwarz had to be dealt with swiftly. Again, easier said that done.

"She's most likely had this here for years." Celosia commented, surprised.

"I never knew it existed while I worked there."

Which meant Schwarz kept it well hidden from everyone, even those she deemed close to her. How far Celosia's love ran for her was not something Steven should have been diving into. He could imagine how it would torn her apart; the simple betrayal that would break the biggest of hearts...tearing away at soul and ego for years perhaps; like Steven, was an optimist to see if she would turn the other cheek. Steven would feel angry and feel pity but...it wasn't always her fault. She would come to realise, at least, as far as Steven was concerned, that she might not ever stop her pursuit for terror and destruction. Steven wished not for shattering but...

He would be devastated if push comes to shove that he would ultimately have to decide her fate. She was human once and the centuries and millennia she must have spent alone; Steven would have to know about her side of the story at some point. He preferred to see all sides and there he would come to decide a fitting punishment for her actions. 

"This is deeply troubling." Peridot commented, a tad anxious herself.

"What if she...what she has the entire Beach City population down there?"

Though it didn't hit Steven's original notice until she said that, until he realised the possibility of what she was doing. The evidence was already there....and it backed up his original fears.

"If she does, then we don't have much time." He said.

"If what we saw at the Zoo told us anything...."

The Auxiliaries looked at each other uncomfortably. Steven didn't want to explain the details of the horrors he'd seen there...and their fates sealed. He was grateful the Famethyst and the Rose Quartzes were willing to take care of them until the time came to unfreeze them. A decision, again, Steven did not wish to action.

"What about the other Gems?" Bismuth questioned.

He hadn't thought about that aspect much, but that was just as important.

"Power sources, I'd say." Cubedot stated. She wasn't as erratic as say the Peridot he knew and loved was...she was surprisingly calm.

"Depending on how many Gems were taken, she would have an ample enough energy to support several dozen incubators with maybe one or two Gems."

And that calmness served to make the CG Peridot angry.

"And you say that like it's a good thing." She said.

Here we go.

"I never said it was a good thing." Cubedot replied, crossing her arms.

"The Diamonds themselves were being used for energy sources. A single Diamond would be enough to power something like the Zoo with the extra effort used to maintain them. An equivalent to say..."

"Something like the _Cluster?_ " Peridot interrupted.

Cubedot just looked at Steven with confusion, which left the latter beleaguered. They didn't have time to go into history lessons.

"It doesn't matter on the comparison scale guys." He said, wanting them to get back on track.

"We have the blueprints. There's a entrance via the elevators here but..."

Peridot then cleared her throat.

"When Celosia and I infiltrated the last time, there wasn't that many floors." She said.

"This goes extremely deep into a vast, open complex of networked chambers. It has a similar design to some..."

"Kindergartens on many worlds." Cubedot continued, taking her turn to intervene.

"Schwarz must have taken inspiration surely."

It would explain a bit. How much Schwarz had known about Gems and Gem Development in general remained to be seen.

"So how do we get in if there's no elevator that takes us there?" Lapis said.

Conclusion?

"Either the elevator has some kind of hidden passco-"

"We bust the fucking floor open and dip down..." Vivi said.

Steven blinked. Though he could see a dark silhouette in the corner of the room and he could have sworn to see their eyes glowing green. His focus on the conversation was lost temporarily, their voices fuzzy as his eyes tried to hone in on the figure...and not even bothering to listen on what they going on about.

"And we just casually drop down into the abyss and _die_?" Cubedot complained.

Peridot smirked.

"Or we can just force it down further." She said, wiggling her hands at Steven, who shook his head to snap out of his trance...he noticed that the figure had disappeared, so he took that split moment to pretend he understood what Peridot was talking about.

"Your metal powers?" Steven hummed. 

Yes...yes of course. And he listened to Cubedots confusing rants alongside her fellow 'Dots... He trusted the CG Dot and formulated a plan.

"Guys, here's where we stand..."

* * *

The plan itself wasn't foolproof. The easiest part was getting to Jayhawk...

The fleet would remain where they were, where Steven took a selective ground team with him. Again, he took Jasper, Volley and Vivi, but he took Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot AND Celosia with him as well. The trip over was civil enough, with Steven wary of Jaspers touchy relationship with Lapis but they kept each other apart. Arriving in the dead of the night via a Roaming Eye, they landed in the nearby bushes and trees in front of Jayhawk. It was a cloudy night, with the light of the moon barely peaking through the cracks. 

The outlying structure of the triple story complex, completely with the clock tower in the middle of the symmetrical design of the light orange bricks of the giant building. This was meant to be place of education and development...meant to be used in a practical and peaceful way to help it's students get the best use of its resources. Instead, there was a dead air about it...despite the sounds of crickets and cicadas, there was more than what the ambience was shielding. A sense of hollowness. The group stood on the circle of tiles with the sundial in the middle and looked around.

"I've been trying to text some of my mates in some of the dorms to check if they're awake." Said Vivi.

"But I'm not getting any response."

That made Steven more ill. A gust of wind lead his eyes to the same dark silhouette from before hiding behind the archway...and those green, shiny eyes that had him captivated. And still sick to his stomach.

"Don't be surprised if Schwarz has them locked away too." Celosia warned.

"She's tested on hundreds of students in the past, normally looking for potentials with the right genetic markers."

 _Genetic markers_...like how he had somehow changed Connie's. Through his Miasma. Through the BYW-3. Through his spit. The butterflies burst from the figure and flew off. Ideas relentless flooded into him; ideas unwanted.

The students; he had to find the students too. He hoped they were okay....and that they weren't too late.

"She could have the right formula now." Peridot suggested.

"Experimenting with results until she had the correct solution."

And Peridot would know that more than anyone....but that sentence alone...

Experimenting...resolutions...correct...solution...

Why...

"Let's just get to the labs."

They went through the entrance and into the open fields of trees, seeing the series of buildings as they wrapped around the centre of the college. Dorms on the right and classrooms on the left. Steven noticed Vivi's visuals of discomfort, the way she crossed her arms and appeared more pensive and brooding. She must have been thinking about all her friends being put in danger...and Connie...where Connie was and how she was.

Once they had gotten to the labs themselves, they found the lift, the same one Peridot and Celosia had used a long while ago. The elevator itself was large enough for the group to squish into it, but as noted, it only had a select amount of floors. Peridot worked on getting the general feel of the steel box, as Lapis opened the top hatch and destroyed the cables one by one. Peridot eventually got her grip and as the last cable was cut, the lift itself shifted briefly as terror ran through Steven's veins briefly as the lift quickly succumbed to gravity while banging on the walls, sending sparks everywhere. 

"Hang on..." Peridot grunted.

It was a lot heavier than she anticipated, but eventually, she shifted enough to get a better hold and slowly the descent. There was the tiniest sense of relief, but Steven was the fraction most queasy, as he grasped onto the nearest wall to keep himself stable.

He began to feel a chill as they got deeper. Which was weird. According to Connie and his own personal experiences about descents into the Earth; shouldn't it get warmer? He looked at Vivi beside him, her eyes got dark.

"You okay?" He asked.

Lifting her head, she looked at him with an expression of sorrow he's never seen before.

"So many _lights_ down there." She cried, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"So _many..._ "

She must have been seeing the chambers...perhaps the incubators. Steven swallowed, subconsciously praying for their safety.

"I see them too." Said Celosia, who was next to Vivi, her eyes just as black.

"Their alignment stretches out....numbers are...exceedingly high."

That didn't sound good. It served to make Steven feel worse.

"How much further?" Steven asked Peridot urgently.

"We should be...."

**BANG!**

"There."

Bodies tumbled with the lack of foresight regarding as the quaking soon stopped. The elevators opened with a slight ting as everyone moaned and groaned as they exited the lift. Steven took charge, standing in front of them...and his eyes widened and mouth was left opened, chin almost to the floor. Peridot stood next to him, her manner very similar as she adjusted her visor.

"Oh my _stars_..." She stammered.

Stretched beyond mental capacity, this technically was a giant kindergarten. Incubators embedded into the walls, emanating their light blue glow, which emphasised its bleak, wintry architecture. A long fog permeated the ground and whisked its way through the labyrinthe tunnels and bridges that reminded Steven of the catacombs underneath the surface of Homeworld. To say it was gigantic was an understatement. Spread throughout for as long as comprehension lasted. The lingering whispers of death and power were in order, like raw spirits left crying in agony. The sting of the frost that resulted in being cold enough to see patches of it in drips and drabs, the lights giving the snow like substances their sheen and sparkle.

Twisted constructs, filled to the brim with multiple cables connected throughout. Giant black tubes, tiny white, yellow and pink tubes...in and out on the ground in the walls. Patterns without patterns like colouring in the lines with a pencil. The crew walked around...and as Steven checked out the nearest wall, the closest incubator and rubbed the moisture off the glass....to see a slumbering Peedee hooked up to more cables and apparatus.

" _No..._ " Steven whispered, as hope began to fade like warmth drifting away in the night.

Peridot approached it and examined the casing itself, filled with liquid as Peedees hair drifted in the waters. As a former Kindergartner herself, even she found this downright disturbing.

"Using organics like this seems so...impractical." She commented.

"But...at the same time. So cruel."

Celosia stood next to a cowering and shivering Vivi and wrapped her arm around her. Poor girl...they stood away from the group as they investigated the realms of this chilling cave of forming abominations as they were simply the testing grounds for what was about to come. Or worse; the beginning of Schwarz's ambitious goals being brought to full fruition.

"Did you want to go back to the surface dear?" Celosia asked her.

Vivi shook her head. She felt a bit of comfort with the taller Gem and her size and shape gave Vivi more than enough to hold on to. Besides Steven and Connie, Celosia was indeed, the closest confidant...being of the same exact thread of origin and make. It had little do with the loneliness as much it as did as simply being here gave Vivi unwanted flashbacks to her own creation.

"No...I gotta do this...even if it pains me." She said.

Celosia...being the one to help make Vivi who she was. A sacrifice of a single person for this purpose was just as bad as it was for multiple, possibly hundreds, thousands. She could see how this could affect her, given the circumstances of their own creation being very similar.

"How...how are you not freaking the fuck out?"

She might not have been visibly frightened, but Celosia definitely was. While Steven had been hesitant to trust her, Vivi always found she had this guiding light within her. She was far from malicious...and that she would have never guessed she had a hand in her creation. Parts of the events that unfolded, however...were actually bringing Vivi more pleasant memories than harsh ones.

"A heart certainly pounds hard, even as a Gem." She said, her voice soft.

"I took the time to accept my pain. It will always been there. It is how we choose to deal with it. Let it consume us with despair or embrace it in knowing that it will never be the strongest feeling we will ever have."

That sounded very similar to what Sandra had told Steven, whom Celosia noticed, was looking at something in the distance.

"You had strong feelings for Schwarz from what you've been telling me." Vivi continued.

"Does it hurt...knowing..."

Celosia pursed her lips, chest aching in so many things. Regret being one of the most potent. She looked at Steven, his attention snapped by Peridot who tried to figure out a way to free the young human in his cage.

"Indeed." She replied, sombre.

"I thought she was this incredible, smart, strong woman who had visions to improve the world. And I believed her."

Smart enough to seduce the quiet Professor.

"I should have known better. I let her take my role because I had been blinded from the obvious truth. She wanted power and control...and when it came to creating you...I had issues deciding if my heart had been fooled or I was just wilfully ignorant."

Vivi could only recall dribs and drabs...flashbacks to Celosia in front of her tank came to her mind. The source of the kindness beheld despite the agony.

"You were there for me..." She said.

"I remember you trying to teach me about stuff. I'm not even sure if I was able to retain half of what you were trying to teach me."

Celosia smiled. Yes. She was there, reading books. Reading philosophy...and hoped to embed some wisdom into the young, troubled girl.

"You'd be surprised with what you know..." She told the purple Gem.

"Whether or not you've been applying all this time. The subconscious sets the stage and the ego takes the reigns."

Vivi looked all around....and saw some students in some of the cases that she'd recognised and instantly felt awful with the need to apologise for their predicament, like it was all her fault. She'd known these people for a while. Vivi was a social creature but she only let people know her on the surface. She may have fucked or argued with several but they were good people through and through that did not deserve this.

"All I know is that I want to save everyone. That's all my conscience desires." She said.

* * *

It was decided that the only way to take Peedee out without killing him, was to shut off a main power source and to somehow open the cases through a secondary switch. Peridot determined that through looking through the cabling. Such a specific type of liquid used based on data found at the Zoo as well as Celosia's contributions, meant it was meant to sustain the human body, as well as the tubes down the throat to provide well needed nutrients. There would be a sudden shock factor that would raise concerns about the risk of death...

Celosia and Vivi made the scans and determined, the only good news was that the Gems that were forming weren't at the same stage as Connie's was; or even the Zoomans. Which meant they still had some hope of freeing the trapped humans. Even so, the catacombs went on for ages and the scattered lights that were strewn across were very faint. But they had to find the source of power to these chasms.

They walked about in this eery place which continued to send shivers down Steven's spine. Jasper on the other hand...

"What if we don't save them?" She said.

"What if they emerge....or do we corrupt them all like you did to Connie?"

Jaspers judgements tilted towards the negative. The example of a pessimist on his crew.

"We'd like to prevent that if we could Jasper." Steven noted, trying not to think of the worst case scenario to save his recovered sanity. He felt the eyes from Peridot, Bismuth and Lapis on him...they were the only others outside of his crew that knew the truth.

His optimistic side that lingered there, in the shadows of his mind. Jasper reminding him did shove it deeper and rose up his guilt up closer to the surface.

"Connie's situation was unique." Celosia clarified.

"I was the one who suggested it. But it hasn't been tested if uncorrupting her would do the trick...only that it has a potential possibility."

The Orange Gem was the realist in this situation, for sure...which earned the ire of Bismuth.

"What? How could you suggest destroying an innocent human girls mind and body for the sake of an idea that may or may not have worked?" She berated.

Bismuth liked Connie enough, evidence enough of gifting her sword when Rose's one was destroyed. Connie felt overly special in being gifted it, even if she thought she didn't deserve it. Steven felt Celosia's drifting stare....and immediately knew.

"It's either Connie's organic life ceases to be." Celosia said, tone like the bitter cold of reality.

"Or we pull in the same trick that the Diamonds had used for Steven."

Which made it all the more complex.

"Corruption is a very serious matter." Steven reminded them, then pierced down a look at Jasper as a reminder.

"We need to love Connie for who she is, not what she is. If she doesn't change back then..."

Now his throat was clogged up, with Volley placing her hand on his shoulder as he began to choke up uncontrollably.

"She'll change back." Volley assured him. Even if she wasn't entirely sure, she was the ample amount of hope; it's beacon this cursed place. She had been the one who had more faith in Connie than anyone else in the scenario leading to Steven's corruption eventually being cured. Steven once called it a gut instinct, what ever that meant....and the hope she had shared was definitely not misplaced. He's done this more than Volley could count, just the mere allowance of the distress over thinking with the worst case scenario would set him off.

"Steven, you're right." Bismuth said, throwing a fist into her palm.

"You've been an inspiration of what Crystal Gems once stood for in this day and age. Sharing those values with us...and sharing it with Homeworld. It's a value we need to protect just as much as anything."

Or else they'll just end up back in Era 1.

"Thanks guys." Steven said, wiping his tears with the back of his sleeve.

"Now come on let's...."

_Oh how very sweet...the young Leviathan spends his time in the depths of sorrow, only for his friends to drag him to the shore not yet aware of the dangers he'll face..._

That voice.

"It's Schwarz..." Celosia muttered.

Peridot was unimpressed however.

"She's gotta be overcompensating...or she's watched too many movies." She commented.

"The speakers are everywhere as those tiny white circles with the holes in them...and she's clearly using some kind of vocodor."

Peridot; fearless as ever.

_I'm only giving you all a fair warning. There are many upon many choices to make here. Solutions that are easy...solutions that are quick. I care not for any. Only save to see the Leviathan itself erupt back into the world when he realises there is nothing he can do that ends in the best case scenario..._

Steven growled, making a fist.

"She's just trying to make you angry Steven." Celosia said.

_And my beloved Sia...OCZ-02, my rampaging Minotaur. You aid the Diamond Admiral through this labyrinth...you needn't trifle yourself with such a monster._

And that was the first time Steven saw the shift in Celosia's manner, her face hard with her own version of tranquil fury.

"You made us all into Monsters, Nia." She said, raising her voice.

"You were the creator. The _Kraken_ with it's tentacles wrapped around our necks."

Woah...

It was then black smoke arose from afar, filling in like a thick fog around them. Steven went backwards as he felt Schwarz's powers at play here.

"Stick together." He said, as the group clustered closer in.

"She's only going to show off illusions. Nothing she shows you...will be real."

Whispers echoed around them as the black smoke got worse. Steven's eyes scanned for anything in particular....before a noise began to screech in his head, threatening to tear him apart....the screech itself, devolving and pitching downwards to a very familiar roar.

What they served was the mere candlelight that evolved into a scorching flame of unwanted pictures. Images from his rampage as his monster came to him...scenes of Beach City burning...the magenta hues and pink flames...and a long, spiky tail. He'd fallen to his knees, hands on his ears...and had to keep repeating the same words to himself.

"This isn't real, this _ISN'T REAL_!" He cried.

Why did it feel so real...defending himself should have been much easier than this. He was meant to be better than this...so why was he letting it get to him so easily? This wasn't Steven Diamond. But before him were all his mistakes. All his problems developed when the Diamond Child simply couldn't handle himself as much as he handled everything else. Steven was his own worst enemy and he knew that much. The strength built on all the revenue accrued from ages past. Not just the last incident, but that which lingered in years gone by. All the trauma, all that which he had sworn he had under control. He had to have it under control. He must have it under control.

He _wanted_ it under control. He _needed_ it under control.

Whispers and words once spoken, conveyed, screamed, cried. Wordless poetry in motion...

Spiders eating ants and butterflies, foxes consuming rabbits... 

Blowing up bridges....mending them.

Destroy. Repair. Destroy. Repair.

Visions of small black spheres that had his ghosts curl out from them. Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz. Young Steven. Diamond Suit Steven.

Grey strings on faces. Ticking clocks.

_They tick, they tock._

* * *

"Steven you're going quiet again I see."

A room. A small, warm room, light that poured through the opaque white curtains on the windows. A room of green walls. A round clock on the wall. 11:30 in the morning. A monitor, a screen. Steven was in his room in the spare amount of time could spare trying to sort things out after the incident with Emerald. He'd told her about the fact that he almost shattered her...which was something he would never do normally.

Looking up he could see Sandra the Therapists face. Soft, warm. Welcoming. Her weird combination of runners while wearing a short skirt.

"Sorry, I was..."'

She was one of the scarce few of the Hologram Ghosts he could often hallucinate. His medication was often to subdue them but it wasn't always enough. Instead, Sandra encouraged him to talk to each of them to help him work through each of their complexities. More would come and go than he would ever admit. Familiar ones. New ones. Blue Shirt Steven...Stevonnie was one of the newest ones.

"Who was it this time?" She asked.

He didn't have to lie, even if he was compelled to by default.

"Stevonnie." He revealed.

Sandra's eyes popped in slight surprise. Though she wasn't stunned...just curious about Stevonnie's representation.

"Stevonnie...your fusion with Connie yes?"

Steven nodded. Sandra took to understand fusion quicker than most. She'd even wanted to speak with Garnet on more than one occasion out of some morbid curiosity but she wouldn't dare get Steven to ask her.

"What do you think they're there for?"

Something Steven debated with himself for a while. Sandra did explain each served a specific purpose and Steven was able to explain their purpose...which Sandra was impressed given how little Steven knew about psychology. Him identifying each Ghost had Sandra give him more credit for that alone and used it as a special way that Steven could explain certain feelings. Like he was actually busy talking to his own subconscious...which Sandra actually confirmed to be the case.

"We talked about...I dunno..."

They were wearing a suit and talking in metaphors and soliloquies.

_There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth._

"They were doing this weird thing and..."

_It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace._

"Not only that and..."

He explained the visuals in detail...which Sandra absorbed and served to help with interpretations on her own opinions.

"We talked about about...your original Suite. Pink, Rose, 14 (Steven) and 17 (Diamond Suit) and your Leviathan...all icons of your grief. A bit out of order but...your hatred, your sadness...your denial, your bargaining and your acceptance. We've even talked about the rare spot of the Blue Steven, the with the blue shirt?"

They identified that as the Steven of Change...he hardly visited these days. Though she did bring to light the subtle changes of power.

"Lets see... we know that there's been a shift in visionaries and potential aspects that could show. Such as...Blue Steven of Pre-Contemplation..."

Oh that...yeah he forgot.

"Black Steven of Contemplation...."

That too.

"Admiral Steven of Preparation..."

 _And that..._ his current physical form instead of an outright illusion.

"Pink Steven...or this...Perfect Diamond Form you described to me before...of Action."

Especially that. Another physical take.

"Or is that new form Maintenance?"

He wasn't sure.

"Stevonnie doesn't fit in there...do they?" He asked.

Sandra lifted her head.

"The aspect that breaks the cycle is relapse. You fear changing for the worst so much that your mind is recruiting new allies to defend it. Perhaps, it might even be trying to tell you that Perfect Steven is dangerous."

_Dangerous???_

"Are you sure?" He asked, desperate for her to say otherwise.

Things like this...not always but there's a certain grim truth to it.

"Your relationship with Connie has always been one where she brings out the best and maybe even the worst parts of you."'

No. Connie would never...

"Don't take it as a negative. Loved ones; those who we are closest, are usually privy the sour sides of ourselves. The fact that they still stand as a friend before you is a testament of their love and respect. Stevonnie balances out the temperaments of yourselves. Your opinions and feelings can align so quickly, fitting in nicely like a usb entering into a port the first go. Perfect Steven might _not_ be dangerous. But it can be if you let him go too far."

No...surely...

"Trust Stevonnie...even if what they say is obscure. There is a point to the madness; that they could have the ability to mediate."

* * *

Stevonnie didn't pop up again when he cracked Holly Blue. So...what was he supposed to believe? His mental health was draining faster by the moment. No one could make sense of anything. Seeing them all there, standing before him, judgement even on their blank, scribbled faces.

"You know what you did." Said Pink.

So what if he did...

"You think that Connie will stand for what you did?" Said Rose.

She had to understand. Corrupting her was the only way. Cracking Emerald and Holly Blue...they just didn't listen.

"There are other betrayals. You won't admit them." Said Young Steven.

Because he wasn't doing what he wanted to do? He then looked at the Diamond Suit and knew.

"Stevonnie doesn't want to visit because you won't let them." He said.

Why would he need Stevonnie then?

"Your heart...the pain is blinding you to everything."

His pain?

"What's my Leviathan got to do with _any_ of this?" Steven questioned, distress in the strain within his tone.

His acceptance...

"You take the pain on board. It emboldens you." Said Pink.

"You know that it's there. You use the strength provided as a task for revenge." Said Rose.

What?

"H-how?" Steven demanded to know, stammering in confusion.

"You see pain as power."

Looking behind him...it was Stevonnie wearing his Admiral Uniform this time.

"Pain as power. Power as vengeance."

No. He accepted his pain not because of power, but because he had to acknowledge it was there so he could become better, healthier.

"I was angry with my friend:, I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow."

What were they talking about?

"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

Attended to....

"Am I...ignoring the pain again? I don't even know what I'm supposed to do..." Steven cried. He gritted his teeth, making a fist as he struggled to understand all that was thrown at him. Stevonnie gripped hold of his shoulders and looked him right in the eye. There was something different about their expression compared to the other Ghosts. He couldn't discern which, however.

"I'm not suggesting you deny or suppress your emotions, but just discover for yourself what it takes for you to handle your emotions and stay balanced." They said.

Balance. Balance....Stevonnie stepped back and disappeared into the void...and from behind him was the dark figure again as it walked through all the illusions, breaking them and tapping Steven on the back. He spun around, his instincts raising his shield on his arms before he took a better look at then. Their shadowy, wispy took shape of something he knew. Someone he knew. Those great green eyes stared at him intently and never said a word.

The Ghost/Gods had long gone and in this void of white on black spread like leaking paint trying to mix without intervention, his confusion only grew. A sense of odd warmth and tranquillity emerged, but only minor. They weren't a threat as Steven did away with the shield shortly after.

The shadows then hugged Steven, stunning him, complete with widened eyes. The source of the strangest snippet of comfort and his heart rate lowering because of it. 

"Stevonnie is Maintenance." Steven muttered to himself.

"They don't want me to fall back into old habits...or become worse. Is-is that's what happening?"

He became the Admiral because someone had to take control of the situation. Someone had to make things right, correct wrongs and subdue the evil-doers.

"I don't want this. I don't want any of it. I want my friends, my family to be safe..."

Tears rolled down his cheeks, becoming overwhelmed with a striking feeling that inflicted more anguish than he desired. Or something akin to anguish. He could heard the Leviathan lost in the fog on its own. Its footsteps causing tremors and minor growls echoed as it walked around Steven in circles.

"Pain. I thought I could use it." He said.

"I want people to avoid going through what I did. What I had gone through. What has been done to me. What has be done to everyone."

But people went through it anyway. Celosia. Vivi. Even Schwarz to some extent. And Connie...especially Connie.

"But I caused it too. I hurt people. People who didn't deserve it."

But he had no choice but to do so. His hand had always been forced.

"People....do not _desssserve_ to be....hurt...." Said the Wyrm Steven as he continued to make his treks.

"You give..... _power_.....to me....willingly...and I.....give.....to _youuuuuu_....."

And words Sandra once told him.

_There is a sense of cathartic relief when one dishes out damage to....an object or a person. Smashing glass when you're angry...setting fire to a tree. The sensation of destruction can be satisfying to those whom had been piling a lot of it up before hand. A spring pushed down for so long it just wants release..._

Pain...feels...good?

No that wasn't right.

"You like being used." Steven stated bluntly.

"You want me to use you."

Suddenly that made sense.

"We....are..... _perrrrrrfect_.....like....a _fusssssion._.." Said the Leviathan.

"Ussseee meeee...againssst....SSchwarzzzzzz...."

Should he though...he looked down at the Shadow who kept their grip on him, patting their head and feeling their curly hair.

"Can I trust you?" He asked, his eyes beaming down at the Shadows....though he was asking the Leviathan for that question.

It accounted for why Perfect Steven felt so...empowering, so good that he often let himself become him. The entity rid of all our doubt, of all pain. Only power and a clear goal ahead of him.

"Won't I lose my mind?"

That was his other fear.

"Not...thissssss tiiiiimme." Said the Leviathan.

"I only...gaaaave...you...a ssmaallll giifffft...I giiiive all....if you need it."

If he needs it.

"If....you waaaant it..."

The Shadowy figure burst into black butterflies that flew all around him...but they appeared white on the black backdrops.

"You better not be tricking me." Steven threatened.

He didn't want to risk everything...but Connie's life was on the line...and as Steven brought out the small green case as a butterfly landed on top of it...which eventually warped into a dark Nightingale.

"Don't make me regret..."

He couldn't. Where was Stevonnie?

"I wouldn't....even....be here......if it wasssn't....for Sssstevonnie...." The Wyrm revealed.

"You...know....what you musssst do.....and what...you mussssn't."

Punish Schwarz. Punish White.

No shattering.

And most importantly.

Cure Connie.

* * *

Miracuously, reality returned to him in the form of a quick take on his ears, which had hitched Jaspers roaring screams. Everyone was being affected by it.

"What, THAT ISN'T ME ANYMORE!" She shouted from afar.

Steven looked behind him...and to his horror, he could no longer see anyone else. Weren't they just huddled together? But he could hear them shouting, shrieking and sobbing nearby. What ever horrors Schwarz was inflicting was tearing them apart just as badly. They didn't deserve this...and the desire to protect them from her machinations grew, but putting his mind into the unfortunate premise of his anger; the force when poked too often could hardly be stopped.

He felt the power inside of him fluctuate from the uncontrollable rage...going to Pink State to Perfect State in mere seconds, faster than anything. Taller, stronger...bolder. He stomped his foot, which had whisked away the illusions in front of him as the earth quaked beneath him.

"Face us Schwarz!" Steven demanded, taking the strongest stance purposefully meant to implant fear.

"Better yet, face me!"

There was no need for him to be gentle. He didn't _want_ to be gentle.

" _There_ it is, again in my presence!" She said, with a cackle that flowed after it.

"Not just Pink Diamond, but _the_ true Steven Diamond!"

True or not, he was going to stop her. First thing he did, was raise his arms to his sides in a t pose, and creating a dome shield that brought them all together again and protecting them from Schwarzs power....the glimpse that the Auxiliaries had on them went from surprised, stunned and disbelief. He had enough of playing her games.

"Steven, are you alright?" Asked Lapis, deeply troubled by this new form she'd never had seen from him before. Probably mostly to do with his hair being a bright pink.

As for Steven's opinion to her question...he will be. He had to be. Because he _must_ be. If they were concerned about him then they clearly didn't have their priorities straight.

"Schwarz is hiding somewhere. Which means we'll need to split up into smaller groups." He said, his power demonstrating in his exuding confidence.

"Jasper, take Celosia, Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis and find the control panel and power source to this place."

Jasper nodded, though the others weren't too enthused by that prospect.

"You hear that, you gotta take orders from me!" She boasted.

Bismuth was a bit on the fence for obvious reasons.

"As long as you're not gonna send us to our doom, we'll only follow you because Steven said so." She commented, preferring to keep things amicable.

Steven didn't care that they didn't like being with Jasper, as long as they did their damn jobs.

"Vivi, Volley you're with me." Steven said, paying no mind to the grumblings of his team mates.

"We're gonna hunt down Schwarz and see to her personally."

Volley gulped, looking at Vivi who was giving him a happy salute.

"Aye Aye Admiral!"

He could see Celosia standing there...reminding him of something she had given him prior to the mission....

* * *

She had caught him as they about to hop into the Roaming Eye. They had little time to spare but she had to grab him, as it was now or never. 

Not a day went by that Celosia took Steven's mercy for granted. She understood that his ire for her for her treatment of Connie, theoretically which Celosia believed that he thought that it lead to her paranoia and growing anxiety via her messages, was warranted. If she could have done it another way without 'Nia finding out then Connie's condition wouldn't have gotten worse. She chose to help Steven because there was a lot within him, his actions, his existence that posed the greatest threat to Schwarz's plans.

She had to let Steven understand in his own time, from her own point of view, of the many risks she had undertaken. Which she had learned from him alone was critical to her ideas for them to come out mostly on top.

Standing in front of him, she took out a small, metal case with a green cover on the top lid, protecting in resin. She had taken his hand and put the case into his own, curling his fingers to grip it tightly.

"What is this?" He asked her.

She'd also learned a great deal from Schwarz and from multiple sources, including Steven. The one tool Schwarz would least lightly suspect about. Or even know about at all.

"You will need this at some point. It took me a while to make it." She said.

"Scientists...engineers...both software and hardware...even the magical sciences Gems are able to achieve. A lot of it is trial and error. I was a teacher, but I was also a student. You learn from doing, making mistakes and doing it again. Making more mistakes and continuing."

And getting it better each time.

"I'm not sure if this will work. The important part is that we try. This is my weapon against Schwarz."

Steven was right to be perplexed. He opened his hand to see a green feather on top of the case itself.

"When will I know to use it?" He asked.

"And how...do I use it?"

If she was honest...

"I'm not certain when or how." She admitted.

"Your power Steven...your truest power is to touch hearts and minds. With words. With soul. This is something I forged when the only lights that could be saved, could be used when it matters most. Just keep it close to you."

He'd still like to know what this was all about. Though she noticed that he did focus on something over his shoulder and that rigid stare told Celosia everything. Things she knew from being one of the most unique Gem types out there besides the Diamonds. She'd had time...time to test, time to figure things out on her own. But she couldn't make action on her own. Eventually he heard people call for him...and he'd tucked the case into his pants pocket.

"I'll uh...yeah....sure...thanks?"

* * *

Green. Always about the green or something or rather but...there were signs that probably were supposed to be more obvious but he just wasn't getting it, but he felt like he was going to eventually figure it out, very soon.

With this...coupled with the strength his mind, his Ghost/Gods...there was more he could do. More he could resist and control and maintain with the forces within. And that, they went their separate ways.

Meanwhile, Schwarz was busy in her massive lab room with her prized assets and more notable allies...and a cage containing one giant monstrosity with wings as lay limp within it. The back walls embedded with rows of different types of Gems and several incubator tubes. The one in the middle, she approached with a portly, balding man with a beard. She grinned; her bile fascination more apparent as she stroked the casing.

"I think I'll keep you." She said, looking on it so fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnies quotes; William Blake, Songs of Experience, C.S Lewis and Wendy Hearn


	38. The Acquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven, Vivi and Volley confront Schwarz.

Steven didn't want to be here. But he had to be. Stuck in his Perfect Diamond form, he had no more patience for being nice.

The number of humans locked away with a guaranteed death sentence if they didn't act quick enough. It shook him to his core, knowing their fates were in the hands of a madwoman. Steven had to be at his best...he just had to be.

Vivi and Volley walked behind him, the latter a bit more fearful than the former. It wasn't something either were comfortable with as well, though Vivi herself had full confidence in Steven. That wasn't to say Volley didn't, but the Pearl herself could be rather timid, not normally a Gem forged for combat.

This would have been the first time the Purple Gem would have gotten the closest glimpse to how Gems were made. Coming out of holes and coming to terms with Connie told her all those months ago. It made sense to a certain extent. Robbing the energy of the surrounding area to encourage their growth. Only this time...

It was then something caught Vivi's eye. A tube on a nearby wall. A blonde woman that she had recognised from the College.

"Jessie!" She cried.

The rich one from the party? Her eyes went to the cluster around her and gasped as she saw several students she had befriended.

"Richard? Wayne? Casey? Fuck me...they're all here!"

It always hurt to recognise those you knew and adored being trapped and not being able to do anything about it. It proved the obvious theory of where they all ended up. The party itself was only the beginning. Schwarz had intended this to happen from the get go.

"We'll save them." Steven said, though his voice was much deeper than they were used to. It lacked the enthusiastic inflection he often had. No. It was _deadly_ serious. Preparing the venom before the using a poisonous cry. Volley was wary of how terrifying Steven could really be. The Pearl, the most out of anyone, looked into his well being the mos and if it wasn't Connie it had to be her. Right now, he was up there, those inflections and bass filled tones would make any lesser gem weep in dripping pools of dread.

The fight through the hidden fears to put her hand on his shoulder to gently pull him back had him put his hand on hers. A silent, comforting gesture to let her know that he was going to be okay.

It had been a tough set of months, followed into the last few weeks of horror pulled over their eyes. Without Connie, Volley wasn't sure if Steven was going to cope. He didn't want to depend on her, but there was the humanity within Steven that Connie could vouch for. No Gem could ever hope to match it, no matter how hard they tried.

They continued to tread, Steven continued to see that dark shadow that had been stalking them around for a while. It wasn't malicious..it was distant...and hushed in the way it appeared and disappeared into thin air. So he followed, feeling like it was going to lead them in the right direction...

until they came across a dead end.

Not just any dead end...

A set of red, velvet chairs on top of a patterned rug of beige greens and reds and a round black coffee table in the middle in between them which had some cube of cubic white teapot. There sat Schwarz, without warning, sitting there with her legs crossed. Her form fitting black body suit, knee high black heels made her appear dominant. The same kind of clothing she wore on the Carrier. Her face was thinner, bonier and sunken grey eyes and dark grey skin. Her black hair wasn't curly, however...it was straighter and much, much longer, reaching past her shoulderblades. It was harder to recognise her when she kept shapeshifting all the time. And that symbol. That bloody symbol on her chest. It was also on the rug....and the back of the chairs. Even the support beams. 

That so called, 'Four Square'.

Vivi growled, wanting to attack her outright. Steven raised his hand to order her to stand down, until they had a proper talk.

"Inevitable that our paths would cross." She said, sipping tea from her cubic tea cup on her square plate. Her eyes lazed about on the trio, but looked a bit confused.

"You did not bring Sia with you? I'd hoped to have her here in this genuinely wholesome reunion."

Steven didn't want Schwarz to even see Celosia.

"You're not worthy of being her audience." He taunted, coldly. Again, words that sent shivers up Volleys spine. She wasn't entirely sure how this new form of his transformed both his body and his mind. He wasn't the same person she was eager to serve; eerily similar to that of Yellow, Blue...even White.

Again, she hated making these unfair comparisons. She wouldn't lie about how his aura oozed a similar amount of terrifying influence. She just hoped he wouldn't lose himself entirely.

"You can drop the dramatic act Steven." Schwarz said, unimpressed, putting her cup and saucer down.

"This is no longer a matter of worthiness. It's a matter of change on a scale that this universe solely needs. The Diamonds are no longer required in Era 4. That means you too."

Steven wasn't being dramatic. (Though he was. Definitely). He was being serious as he had ever been.

"It doesn't have to be, however. People, Gems....you. Can still help shape this new world we're forging. You see the work I'm doing? It's the final evolution of mankind...of Gemkind."

Steven looked at the tubes all around him. Humans in deep isolation, their deaths certain.

"This isn't evolution; this is _murder_." Steven said, keeping his voice low.

Schwarz smirked as she put her teacup down and uncrossed her legs.

"You see, Gems have a considerable amount of flaws...."

Her eyes, drawn to the trying-so-hard-to-be-stoic Volley.

"Their mentality. They have no soul. They have no spark. They are a template...at best."

What?

"Rubies are Rubies. Pearls are Pearls. And maybe...you are a Diamond, trying to be a Quartz....trying to be a human. Maybe you are all the things you aspire to be. You're the only one distinguished enough to note that has entirely warped their worlds as far as they're concerned. But...it's not enough."

Even Vivi was confused, as well as frustrated.

"I've seen humans come and go and die and are reborn. There are things that stay the same but there is always change in humans. Progression. Gems? Stale...boring, stifling their own potential."

So many things wrong with that latter sentence alone.

"Gems are capable of change, just like any human." Steven pointed out.

"You just gotta teach them how."

Schwarz rolled her eyes.

"They had thousands of years to do this. Only to subject themselves to the familiarity because they were _ordered_ to. Your mother was heading in the right direction but for all I witnessed....the ultimate change...was with you."

Him?

"Oh I've kept my eyes on your mother for aeons." She said. She'd gotten up and walked around to the back wall, where a red, velvet curtain was busy covering one of the tubes.

"She was a fascinating subject. But you know she was inspiring. White had me track her and it wasn't until down the line that it hit me. That I could, theoretically, do what I ever I want. My purpose to track Pink but to what end? Until someone connected the dots and found that out that she was never Rose Quartz? Hah...I'm still shocked that it took them six thousand years and about 14 years after her actual death to figure out the truth. By then it was too late."

Surely...

"During the mean time I was able to niche my way back into human society, all the while only really doing the work because I liked doing it. Imagine a drama for the ages. People would make a movie over it."

Made to watch Pink and do nothing...then spent the rest of the time integrating only to unleash a cavalcade of torment on innocent people.

"You...you did this for your.... _own amusement?_ " Vivi growled her eyes jet black.

Schwarz had her back to them, revealing the Diamond shaped patch and the similar, tilted square Gem on her lower back; a similar design to Vivi's.

"I've watched Pink from afar. I've learned from a lot of resources. Humans. Gems. Diamonds. You. And I think...for all that I was able to grasp was the path that had to be carved. Forcing the hands of fate to shape the futures and glories of mankind. White had no idea that while she believed Pink's Rebellion was little more than a game, she had fostered the seeds of a revolution. Her and Pink...but then..."

Steven wasn't sure if he wanted to hear more.

"But to answer your question, Princess Aurora....I can do what I want for different reasons. I can do things because they entertain me. I can do things because they help with growth. The mind must be occupied by either. The spice of life to get the motivation...and the labours of love given into efforts provided that still channel the currents of change into them."

She raised her hands against the Four Square Symbol above the curtain, like she was worshipping it. The look of madness on her face would tell you all you need to know about it.

"But we...the Kraken...the Minotaur...the Behemoth...the Ziz. We're the change this Era needs to inspire the first waves of our compatriots. It is our turn to show the way. For they have soul. They have the spark. They will inspire and achieve greatness with the power thrust upon them...."'

Words Steven and Vivi had discussed prior had come back to haunt him.

**~~You think we're all Gods inside mortal and immortal bodies?~~ **

And indeed...this entire nonsense was complete madness.

_Something controls us, holds power over us, influences our minds and shapes our forms...we get frustrated over things that don't go our way or we hold a perception of the universe that will only ever by unique to every individual. We have wants and needs and that yeah, our likes and dislikes can direct us as individuals. The concept of a God or a God like construct within ourselves are literally telling where to go, how to feel, how to think. Surely, you've spoken to only yourself on every other occasion and for what better reason that to have a conversation with the one true power overall._

This is the world that Schwarz wanted.

In a more, literal sense.

"So why the Rebellion? Why go through all that trouble for this?" Volley questioned. Her voice was soft, but that didn't stop her from getting her words out.

Schwarz turned around, having hers behind her as she eyed the Pearl once again.

"Gems have served the Diamonds for multiple reasons, but the most common ones I found were due to power and fear of being shattered." She answered.

"Power and the fact that they can be so easily manipulated into believing things. The Pink Sapphire was the first one I found to toy with. As a human, I already held mastery for deceit and alter truths. Sapphires in general have many problems with their visions that can be exploited. You play into their visions but at the same time you can change the future they see with careful planning. Over time, I was able to push her to see things that weren't actually going to happen."

Poor Baseball....Steven berated himself for not, ironically, seeing this coming. Though how far it had gone, he never could. There was a lot to take in. Schwarz returned her focus back onto Steven, who was busy trying to get his mind to convey even the simplest of words.

"You could have gone in a different direction. Entirely. You could have corrupted, sooner...latter. Differently." Schwarz explained.

"You would have stayed on Earth, as opposed to going to Homeworld. Still would have been corrupted for a different reason."

No...that...

"I asked her this and she was able to answer clearly with the information given. Could Steven Universe be corrupted? Could we make the supposed saviour of the Galaxy warp into an entirely different person? Because it was something I _wanted_ to see."

This...

"Being a Gem with a human mind allows for multiple paths to be taken and you'll hardly be off track OR you're so far off it you don't even know what's going to happen!"

Her sudden giddiness began to annoy Steven.

"Isn't _that_ exciting?"

For her, clearly...For Steven and for everyone who had suffered through out....

"That's...I don't even know what to call that but exciting isn't one of them." He called out.

"So you found this _entirely_ trivial. Messed with my head...my body. All of it. _Trivial_."

Schwarz shrugged.

"Some of it was...but I think, I also learned a lot too." She said.

"The work is better when it's both educational and fun...."

She'd extended a part of her hair like a tentacle and whipped it in front of them, much to Steven's surprise. She was so grated too.

"Were you _not_ listening to what I was trying to tell you earlier?"

No. He was busy trying to subdue his own rage. He was less about himself, more to the point about practically that everyone hated her guts right now. She sighed.

"Am I not allowed to extend what I've learned to prospecting students?"

Steven exchanged looks with both Volley and Vivi. She had to be kidding, but the sad part was that she definitely wasn't.

"Not while you've got everyone on death row Hentai Queen." Vivi berated, her clenched fist giving all out small bursts of blue flames.

"You're fucking whack. You're delusional."

Schwarz smirked.

"Oh Miss McCudden you've got that mouth. The attitude that would normally be against authority." She said, extending a tentacle to Vivi's face, only for the latter to violently smack it away.

"But you too, are scared...all those times you told me how your father used to smash glass bottles over your head...I saved you from that purgatory and look what I get in return?"

A life Steven wouldn't want to wish on anybody, but he could see the tears of fury roll down Vivi's face. Like him; unable to restrain ones self from unleashing hell themselves.

"Vivi owes you nothing." Steven stated.

"You aren't giving anything...you're taking away."

Like a sudden shift in the wind, Schwarz with withdrew her tentacles and turned around to face the curtain.

"Give. Take." She uttered, shivering as if what she spoke of was pure heresy.

"I transform. _Improve_."

Unveiling the curtain revealed the tube behind her...and upon closer inspection, Steven's body went through the troubling motions of a sharp pain that flowed throughout. Cold sweat...pupils shrinking...veins that felt like fire and nerves barely able to contain the heat of his rage.

" _Dad..._ " Steven croaked.

"What..."

_No..._

"I had the entire Beach City in here; you don't think I wasn't going to involve him?" Schwarz mocked.

"I know you. I know who you care about the most; who you adore...who you treasure. I have the whole family."

She made a click of her finger as a tray extended downwards from the roof. Some kind of power converter, silver and containing a set of Four Gems. Gems Steven instantly recognised.

"Unconventional but what is? What is normal?" Schwarz challenged. Her words become charged and infrequently changed in pace in the way her passions began to emerge in the deep basis of her own twisted philosophies.

"What defines family for what they are, what _binds_ them...a system inherit to the succession and proliferation of the gene pool of our forebears to continue to _succeed_ in the generations to come. But not this...this was a _purpose_. A role. The Crystal Gems served as the competitor to the conventional, the traditional. For both humans and for Gem kind. To fight against the old standards. A man. A Diamond under a masquerade and her Gems. A lion...and a son and his currently corrupted partner....and all the other bits and pieces adopted along the way."

Another click had the ground to the right move about, revealing a screeching Connie locked within a cage of transparent hardlight walls.

"You transformed, improved. Set aside the old for the new, Steven. You love all of this. No matter what. I love it too."

There _was_ love, but in the form that been well known, accepted for what it was and what it stood for. But here, there was deep suffering.

"I don't stand for the way you treat others." Steven told her.

Schwarz cackled; tasting the irony on tongue like fallen snowflakes.

"Priceless. You didn't stand for the way the Diamonds treated Gems and yet you call _them_ family? This is the exact same! What makes _me_ different from White?"

A lot. Schwarz was just making excuses now....and to his understanding, White is actually an alien unexposed to the organic perspective until Steven intervened...though he hated to admit Schwarz was on to something.

"You should have known better." Vivi said.

"But we should expect that from a slimy slut like you."

Schwarz was absorbing all of this. All of this hate...this heat and intensity. Thriving on the very nature of their anger and despair as it was the air she breathed. His father, his family trapped. Steven could see Connie was on her last legs and her screeches were crackling with fatigue..indicating she was getting too tired of fighting. No...she had to keep fighting.

He had to save her. He had to save his Dad, the Gems....the humans...

Why wasn't he doing anything about it? Steven was still hesitating.

If Connie was here, she would take the shot...if the Gems were here they would back him up. Vivi was here...Volley was here but...trying to prevent the meltdown was an astronomical feat. But action was needed...

He was technically shaking...eyes closed, ready to blow. Though...that was paused as he felt hands go into his. Volley, Vivi...

"How cute." Schwarz teased.

"Your Therapist better be paid sufficiently for your outbursts. Repairing and replacing furniture walls. How many Therapists have you been through?'

One, but that was besides the point. Steven was going to answer, until Vivi shook her head, telling him not to cave her to line of questions any longer. He figured, he needed to teach her a lesson now about what having a circle of trustworthy individuals he could family and those he called friends was truly about.

"Enough talk." Steven said...then shortly looked at Vivi after. Hesitation would be his downfall...but if he had the confidence to be more proactive in this...

The Perfect State disappeared as Steven grew a new sense of calm within himself. They knew what they had to do. He warned Volley to stand back, as he quickly stood Vivi's hand...and their forms began to glow; their light blending in with each others...and in their place was the fresh brown fusion, ready to rock and roll. Briefly surprising Schwarz herself...and Volley who couldn't help but watch in awe.

"I'm getting tired of your words. They actually mean squat." Said Bronzite.

Though the Black Gem became more amused by this sight.

"Fusion huh? You continue to surprise." She said.

Glad to know they weren't boring. They summoned Steven's shields, before slinging them under their feet, magically forming them into bronze rollerblades, glistening into glory like a brand new chariot with Steven's long jacket trailing behind them. Even Connie noticed from her cage.

They used the moment to even glide against the walls, leaving trails of heat behind them that lit up in sparkling golden flames. 

"Just shut up Schwarz and get out of my way."

The fusion ran circles around the devious witch, who attempted to swat the fusion with her tentacles. Bronzite was faster, gliding upwards before kicking themselves off the wall and ending up behind the unaware Schwarz and aimed to kick them, but Schwarz's reaction was quicker as she attempted to use a tentacle to grab them, only for the edge of the rollerblade to cleanly cut through them like butter. 

Bronzite easily slid back. Apathetic attitude but with the support of their components, eyes focused, however, on the Doctor. It wasn't quite a glare, but a cautious examination of her next move. Growing the tentacle back, Schwarz had to compose herself and force on a grin, dusting herself down and pretending to be all in control.

The fusions stance had strength and conviction, standing tall. There was a difference between the type of anger their components shared. Steven had therapy that was designed for him to channel more of the sorrow into ways he could manage it, but deep down, the deep seated issues with his temper hadn't been addressed entirely. Bronzite understood his goal because Vivi had gone through the same. Temperament only let loose for those who deserved it...and so Bronzite was able to channel much of the combined inherent hate they had buried within themselves into a practical form, only letting out snippets where appropriate.

Especially where the parts of the wall had been seeding with fireworks, exploding behind her which had sent dirt and metal everywhere and burying Schwarz under a pile of rubble, and most importantly; disconnecting Gregs pod from it. Bronzite cut the tables with their blades which forced the tube to lose power. It sent the pod into a emergency state which flooded out all the water and opened up the pod respectively. Going around, Bronzite caught Greg in their arms, relieved.

"We still need to flush the BYW-3 out of his system." Bronzite told themselves. 

They took him to the side and had Volley tend to him. while the fusion looked at the exhausted Connie near them. The rubble nearby moved; Schwarz was stirring herself back.

"You could have killed him, you know." Schwarz stated, dusting herself off.

"The caution of Steven ribbed by the risky behaviours of a unwanted child. The two of you are bad news."

Making a fist alight with bronze sparkling flames, Bronzite turned to Volley.

"Get him out of here." They ordered.

The confidence Volley had in them was not misplaced, as the Pearl put Gregs hand over her shoulders and through the struggle, began to drag him to safety. The wiped Schwarz tried to claim him with a tentacle, only for Bronzite to easily grasp it in the air.

"You will not touch him." They said bluntly.

Turning up the heat, they could hear Schwarz yelp as they burned her tentacle, though she ended up cutting her loses by...well, cutting the tentacle with a sharp shard of glass, much to her consternation.

"You either surrender or put yourself into a fight you will never win."

Daring her to what she pleased.

"Cocky is what you are." Schwarz claimed, regrowing her tentacles.

"Maybe I was being too...gentle. Maybe you need to...embrace the darkness."

Schwarz's eyes turned jet black as smoke filled the room quickly. Disappearing before Bronzite could get to her, it had them looking around for any signs of movement. Air grew thick and the silence itself was maddening with the hums of machinery being replaced with muffles. 

"Darkness that lingers in all hearts...hearts made of flesh and of magic..." Schwarz continued, her voice echoing in the void.

"Darkness that gives voice to everything. Our doubts. Our regrets. Our hatreds...our desires..."

A roll of sweat went down the fusions face, all four eyes checking every possible direction and going around in circles while ducking slightly. One wrong move.

"And I thought that you would leave me..." 

Impossible. That was _Connie's_ voice, reverberating through the chambers and into the niche of the horror chill that ran down Bronzite's spine.

"And I see that you find comfort in the arms of another..."

No...

"I was never good enough for you."

Connie emerged from the shadows...wearing a black shirt with the Four Square logo in the middle. Her eyes were almost dead; lacking the life they once held with pride.

"I wanted to be the hero, but I know I was just someone on the side; not ever worthy for the magical life you were destined to have."

That wasn't true. None of it was.

"And as I met Vivi that day I arrived on campus. I felt...envious of the Gem I had the fortunate chance of being my room mate who didn't realise how incredible she was by default."

Bronzite knew Vivi felt the opposite, in fact.

"Connie, you opened my eyes to so much Vivi didn't know." They said, still wary of other influences in the area.

"You have been too good for her and for Steven...."

And the love they had for Connie was boundless unto itself. A certain truth Bronzite had a complex understanding of through their components.

"What they want. Is you to be happy."

HAPPY?

"How can I be happy?" Connie cried, her eyes turning jet black.

"I am a mess! I was losing my mind and I could do nothing about it! I didn't know what to do or where to turn..."

She could have turned to Vivi and Steven...Bronzite could see Connie falling apart bit by bit and neither Steven or Vivi did anything about.

No...Steven tried. He did. He really did.

 _Don't doubt your help_...Bronzite told to themselves, but mainly, it was Vivi to Steven.

"We're in the dark about this as much as you are Connie." Bronzite said, slowly approaching her with an extended hand.

"You're worth everything to me."

Flashbacks to Jayhawk of Connie and Vivi messing around, chatting night after night. While the beginning of their friendship was filled with awkward moments, it was quick transition to allow themselves to feel more relaxed around the other. Vivi's confidence with Connie's sheer brilliance made for an excellent team all around. The times spent were the best Vivi had ever had in her life, like a void in her life had been filled that she'd been looking for for years.

But then came the regrets of realisation that Vivi lead her into this mess...and the self-blame was something Steven had shared with her.

Love, guilt and anger was the three similarities that kept Bronzite together.

Through words from Connie and from what Steven was feeling, Bronzite, like Mega Pearl, compiled two different sides of the story. Connie's dedication and sense of failure measured up the same as Steven's struggles to fight against the inevitable outcome that he been attempting to push away...only for it to fester and lose all sense of himself. But the love he had for Connie and those who reached out to him in his greatest time of need.

It made Bronzite feel well at home with people Vivi had never even met before...and through Steven they could feel such love. The love of family, the love of friends.

Vivi had been needing that all her life..and while she loved Miranda, it was never a stable household.

And she had Connie to thank for leading her into where she should have been after all these years.

"If I am of such worth...then why did you let me _CORRUPT????_ " Connie shrieked.

Thousands of black hands came out from behind her in their attempt to catch Bronzite, who slid backwards, skating away from them.

Realisation dragged them out of the hole Schwarz forced them into. They should have known from the start that it was an illusion...that which feeds the real by digging at the heart. Skidding to halt, Bronzite had their elbows by their sides and channelled in their explosive power within their core....and roaring as their false gold like energies burst out of them like a supernova and cleaning out the black smoke all around them in order to repel Schwarz's attempts to break them down. Once the fog disappeared, Bronzite put all their strength into a fist, throwing it into the ground to form a crack with electrical energies crackling all around them.

The real Connie was busy cowering from afar, her hands above her head as Bronzite heard them whimper. Eyes went up at the power converter...and the Gems were but gone.

"Looking for these?"

Bronzite turned around to see Schwarz with all four Gems in her hands...and they were about to give her a new one until she swallowed the Gems whole.

"What kind of cannibalistic stardust is this?" Bronzite queried in shock.

Once swallowed, Schwarz licked her lips before she ended up burping by mistake.

"Woops...excuse my manners." She said.

"You are dedicated enough to evade my projections..."

Her tentacles grew in size and length, with using four to push herself off the ground and use the tentacles to walk around instead.

"People are submissive to volatile emotions, fearful of getting hurt. Selfish in the name of survival."

More nonsense.

"That is the way the world works. The strong prey on the weak. But the weak allow themselves to be in that position. Either that or they're just too...naive...stupid..."

Creating another spark of fireworks, Bronzite fired it at the Doctor, who swatted in a way with a tentacle."

"Schwarz just...shut you darn mouth." They demanded. Pleading would get them nowhere.

"What you're saying...the way you can work people, the way you think they're useless, or weak or dumb. Digging into their heads and controlling them with your own fantasies is your aim. You think you know people but you do not."

The glimpse into the head of the one who decided she enjoyed her work. Enjoyed tormenting them, tearing them apart psychologically...ridding them of any sense of self-worth as an individual...and her belief in 'ascending' humanity for its own sake, for the pretense of this so called, evolution.

Dragging Steven down...and all his loved ones with him with the added bonus of riddling the Diamonds and turning them into tools...their own position humiliating to break them more so. The Diamonds weren't without their blatant flaws but placing them into a rank of their own lowest former underlings was nothing short of serving to see that even the top could work at the very bottom.

"I've spent thousands of years observing humans alongside Pink." Schwarz reiterated, before shapeshifting into Rose Quartz, but keeping the tentacles holding her in the air. She had her hands together and looked down at Bronzite with amusement.

"I love humans, they're so funny." She said, using Rose's voice...then she shapeshifted into Steven. Classic Steven.

"Life and Death and Love and Birth..." his voice too, in a sing song way.

"Peace and War and the Planet Earth."

Losing their patience with their combined might, Bronzite shot another blast, Schwarz blocked but then found Bronzite suddenly in front of her who sent off another blast point black in her face and sending her flying backwards. Landing on the ground, Bronzite skated forward, firing more blast towards them. Schwarz got up, still shapeshifted as Steven and using a tentacle to block more blasts...except they released one so large that it burnt through it, causing an explosion shortly after as the chambers rumbled under their skirmish. As the dust began to settle, debris was thrown at Bronzite at great speed, who rolled out of the way just in time before it could hit them. Next thing they knew was Schwarz thrusting herself forward to throw all her tentacles at them, wrapping them around the fusions arms legs and neck and held them in place. They tried to shift, however...somehow Schwarz was able to split the fusion apart.

More tentacles arrived to keep both in place, stuck on the ground. Steven had immediately got in to Perfect Diamond Mode, sliding up his sleeves in anticipation. With that dangerous mindset that form provided, Steven made no qualms to scream his way out and causing the chambers to quake again.

It was too easy for him to escape, with Vivi by the side watching on as Schwarz kept her focus, and kept hold of Vivi so tightly that she could poof with how Schwarz was tightening her grip, robbing her chance to breath alongside her inability to move.

Steven had no words. He used his speed to catch up to Schwartz and went to punch her in the face, but even she was quicker, blocking him with ease.

"Poor form Admiral." She taunted.

"You had all this time..."

He was larger, faster, stronger but it still wasn't enough. The sight of Vivi squirming and her mouth being covered so he could only hear her muffled screaming. 

A room so charged with tensions and hatred and the influx of energies that swirled around him alone were rising ever higher.

And he was too pissed off to banter. She didn't deserve his words or his kindness. Telling her to stop was pointless.

"I heard about what happened to Emerald and Holly Blue." She said.

"And Pink Sapphire...such a shame. You are the more the Herald of Destruction. A mistake in the part of your mother who endowed you with the biggest of burdens. Now look at you...a twisted mess of fire and flames that would sooner scorch the Earth."

He could get the Diamonds down here. He had a fleet.

"Deep down, you're addicted to the power just like me." Schwarz continued.

"A flaw I will freely admit. The organising, the banding together...there's so much fun in plotting and planning. I had lists I had a purpose I made for myself! It's what you should be doing but you've been doing it all along."

**~~He'll have to put that on his to do list.~~ **

**~~Oh he was going to enjoy have a new _to do list_ and a _schedule_ and a _purpose_ again. It was so exciting.~~ **

Rubbing his forehead...the strain itself was beginning to give him an ear splitting headache if he wasn't careful.

"I've cared for people. I have loved people. I have had the experiences with all walks of life. You and I....we're the same!"

No. They were not.

"Figuring out you were a Diamond must have awoken something inside of you. A whole universe of possibilities. Taking the mantle...you knew how to do that. But putting on the much larger one for the sake of a specific noble goal...where have I heard that before?"

If she thought what she was doing was noble, then she really was messed up in the head for sure.

"You altered the status quo with words and a demonstration of your true power. Adjusting the scales."

Most of that was through luck and determination, but that was besides the point.

"But sadly, the Diamonds are still stuck in their ways. They will never change...only submitting themselves to you because you are stronger than them, by far."

Not true. None of it was.

"I know White was the cause of all your troubles. The cause of your mothers, but White is simply the beginning of the chain. Surely, for all the grief she deserved to be stood down and punished..."

That was in the works but...

"And now...this continues to escalate. Your lack of respect, your choosing to not speak is weak. A sign of submission because you do not wish to harm me while I have the Gems. There's only one way out of this now, if you so seek to save them AND Connie."

Wrong again. He did not want to give her the pleasure of his retaliation.

Though...

Celosia mentioned something about Schwarz being a lonely person. The top of the chain; her aim with all the acquisitions she's made. Adjusting the scales yet again. Throwing off his Admiral Jacket behind him in a dramatic fashion that had it slowly fall down nearby, Steven was ready to give both a physical and verbal beatdown.

"It must be lonely." He said.

Words that perplexed Schwarz.

"Lonely at the top. You're the only Gem of your kind. No name. No Serial ID number...not even a Gem type was ever given a proper classification."

Now that he started, Steven was fully prepared to rip her apart as she had so done. If she wants power, then she can get all she handle from him.

"I've asked around. No one knew what type of Gem Vivi was, so that would go the same for Celosia, Connie and you as well."

Not even White who was said of have created them.

"Your Gem had the purpose of only tracking down Pink. But little else." Steven continued.

"Left abandoned after the War so you think you were still needed in the world. Continuing to do your work and mom inspired you to do your own thing. So you, naturally rebelled as your human instincts did not care for complete servitude to White."

In any other case, that would have been encouraged. But Schwarz herself had chosen to do things her way. She had chosen to commit treachery in the name of evolution.

"Pearls; even Pebbles had their reasons to exist."

Schwarz rose an eyebrow.

"Sounds like you're trying to justify the ruling caste of the Empire." She pointed out.

No. He was only explaining the rules once in force.

"The Diamonds justified Gems existing by giving them roles. A Sapphire sees into the future. Rubies guard them. Quartzes are soldiers...you are... a spy?"

But wait...

"There were other spies in the Empire." Steven continued.

"Aragonites, Angelites and Vivianites." 

The latter ones having no role in this Rebellion due to some weird reason. The excuse White gave in order for to explain why she was made had a lot of holes...and Steven had come to the conclusion was that she was trying to break Pink Diamond mentally. Just like Schwarz. And she was trying to do that to Steven. 

This was her REAL purpose.

"Vivi isn't any of those...so neither are you."

The sneering meant Steven had begun to get under her skin.

"The Spy-Caste Gems I hunted down personally." She revealed.

"With the Pink Sapphires help I was able to subdue and make the rest scatter out of being petrified. I made sure to demonstrate my willingness for destruction."

A warning to not cross her.

"That is how I got the Rebellion after all. Made key Gems leaders. Those who held a specific hatred of change and had given them a new reason to exist."

Obviously.

"But this new era to unfold...those Gems could have still lead the Incubated to glory. To find out their own purpose...like every other human in existence."

So proved her point...they were similar. Toxic influences...the poison in her words that were akin to the panacea on his lips.

Temptation would persuade him into striking Schwarz again, instead...the power had gone out, which caused outages across the board with the pods. Column by column, row by row, line by line, everything switched off in an uneven rhythm.

The only thing that sent Schwarz into a panic. The lack of power.

"What? No! You'll kill them!" She cried.

Grumbling, she squeezed Vivi so hard she poofed and ended up swallowing her Gem too. A big mistake that had the hybrid fuming. Before he knew it, Schwarz charged forwards Steven to attack him, only him to evade each and every time. He brought up his shield to deflect her razor sharp tentacles, constantly whipping him at great speeds. Magenta shields risen, fists thrown. The skills he had learned from Jasper as Steven was own the receiving end. Throwing up the hexagonal barriers that took several swipes to crash through. Arms in front of him, crossed and summoning multiple barriers at once.

Seeing her so pissed and writhing to that, Steven in his Perfect Diamond thrived in. A devilish smirk...her plan undone before her. Truthfully? Steven was giving the other team time to figure their way through this unholy Kindergarten and keeping Schwarz distracted.

She tried so hard to put everything into the offense, but Schwarz's attacks were instant nullified by Steven throwing up his shields and barriers again and again and again. Throwing tentacles at high velocity to even maim him, proved to be futile. As a Perfect Diamond, he was unrivaled in every way. The fighting for once, felt good. The catharsis was too addictive to pass up, fuelling it all for every kick and slam he was mustering.

"They will be family!" She shrieked.

"They will be everything! And more..."

The loneliness. Steven once felt the loneliness in the way that his mind had created those to fill the void with the hallucinations to pester him about his own wrongdoings.

Steven was never really alone, the more he thought about it.

Misaimed strikes broke walls as rocks fell everywhere. Tremors that were the aftermath of their battle. Steven pitched in a few punches to the face where he found spots of her own weakness. His strength immeasurable as her body slammed against a wall, cracking from the sheer force of her dense body. When Steven was super focused, he was unstoppable...which the weakness was something Schwarz was trying so hard to exploit, just like she had done with everyone else.

The three. Celosia, Vivi and Connie. They just wanted love and attention. Schwarz loved Sia...saw Vivi as their daughter and Connie all the same. The quartet would bring in the new age of Era 4 to combine the best parts of humanity and Gemkind in the best way possible; being their core examples.

Though it was never meant to be equal by design. Steven could see how durable she was, but mentally, she was beginning to tumble. It came to him that really, she had no one. Her creations would always be below her. She recruited the revenge seeking Gems but she was never with them...never close to them. Only using them to fund her aims and goals.

"You want to kill your family?"

She was still getting it wrong.

"They were fine the way they were...flaws and all." Steven called out, stomping the end of a tentacle which dragged Schwarz to the ground. The stomp own its own resulted in a very satisfying squishing noise.

" _You_ on the other hand."

Steven grabbed what was left of the strand and picked it up, dragging Schwarz along with it; and slammed her body into another nearby wall. This measure of destruction was almost pleasurable. He then dragged her closer to him and flipped her on her back, seeing her glistening Gem on her lower part while he was pulling her head up with the same strand. A terrifying sight...to witness that Steven had enough of her stardust that he was preparing himself.

The measure of controversy Lars told him about. The lack of fear in his convictions and of any concerns. She hurt him. She hurt Gems and humans and the crimes committed were unforgivable. Steven made no further comment, but the look of horror on Schwarz's face on the thought him doing what she had come to anticipate resulted in a chuckle.

"I like this...Steven." She said, pushing a smile through the hurt and dirt.

"He's so full of vigour and empty of remorse; dispersing the built up tensions in the most practical way to throw out the inhibitions."

A foot met with her Gem, the sole of his boot lightly tapped the surface.

"You're done talking." Steven said. His tone was much lower and far more threatening; the essence of his mental state shining through like twilight.

He was the brightest being in the room, though it did not amount to goodness behind the light. The pent up negative emotions that had given birth to the ruthless avatar of vengeance. Burning higher and judgement about to be laid to bare.

Pressure was on the foot and Schwarz felt the weight begin to cause her pain...far worse than the fight they just had.

"Spit them out."

The calm before the storm. Schwarz wondered why he was taking so long to just do it...wonder turned into realisation that he was drawing this out on purpose. He was so bigger, taller and the Pink shine in his hair was like moonlight.

"I would but."

"SPIT THEM OUT!" 

His shout instantly sent more tremors; his power absolute. The storm had come quicker than anticipated.

"I-I ...aHHHHHCK..."

Enough weight to put the pressure on him attempt to crack her Gem at an excruciatingly slow rate. She couldn't do it while he was hurting her like this, surely he could see logic.

If it wasn't his foot, it was his piercing Diamond eyes; eyelids half drawn and darkness masking the top half of his face. Menacing and what ever was causing her this grief was not Steven anymore...

The aim to push him to breaking point....to evolve his mindset. It would have been amusing if Schwarz wasn't about to be smashed to pieces.

It wasn't about his size. His Leviathan was much larger but this was far more imposing. White would call him Starlight but that was Pink. No no...Pink could be a little terror but seeing her growth through the years she sought to improve herself and became towards the end, a better Gem. Steven was born to be kind but this was more a devolution of personality. So he was not Starlight.

This Steven was the Morning Star Incarnate.

Schwarz squirmed, her form beginning to distort as her Gem was finally beginning to crack. The refusal to give in was in there somewhere but the fact she was cracking sent her mind into the realm of agony.

A version of Steven no longer listening to any voice, of any kind. His mind simply pushing away the warnings these Ghosts would give. Giving into this form to become the Diamond he was simply born to be. Schwarz had hoped, in the end, they could work together with the Galaxy guided by the ruling of the Four Square.

The ruling of the powers that were supposed to as strong as Diamonds, if not better. The ruling class of C-

"STEVEN!"

His head shot up, seeing Bismuth and others arriving in front of him, resulting in gasps with the group.

"SIA!" Schwarz cried out, her genuine tears dropping like mad.

The Orange Gem was aghast at the display before her and emotions had gotten the better of her, appalled by it all.

"Steven stop!" Celosia shouted as she ran forward.

Simple glimpses of familiar faces had Steven suddenly distracted; his lapse of self-awareness supported through the sudden fog on his brain. Schwarz noticed this and instantly took advantage...

"STEVEN!"

Pain struck him in four places. Subtle at first. Eyes to the roof, arms spread out, immovable. Pupils minimised more so out of confusion and the haze drifting upon his mind. Names were called but muffled...roars distorted were fluffy on the ears and the consistent ringing sound. A white fog as a opposed to the dark ones earlier...tentacles moved out and he was met with the ground with a heavy thud.

Growing smaller, blood began to pour out of his mouth...but he still wasn't able to comprehend what was going on as for all that could emerge from his lips were ghastly whines.

He didn't see the attack that was being made on Schwarz in that moment. A lot of orange and breaking glass as Steven dropped to the floor with a mighty thud. Everything, still muffled like he had earplugs...but the tinny noise persisted.

Though the smell of blood wafting in the air began to intensify, as the red liquid began to form a pool around Steven's body.

Elsewhere, he could hear those ghostly whispers...

Whispers of his damnation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes....Schwarz and Steven have too many similarities to count.


	39. The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's life, without a little pain?

Steven had been hurt plenty of times. Would have been made worse without his shield.

Or the Gems.

His Gems. His family...

He missed them. 

He missed them a _lot._

Again, he took things for granted. Given that he was trying to encourage (and his Therapist) his humanity to shine like it was supposed to, it was also his worst enemy. Being human. Learning. Growing. He was supposed to. He needed to.

But he did he want to?

Travelling was supposed to do him some good. Go on mundane adventures that humans would do. Spend time with Connie. Meet humans. More humans...not Gems.

It was an inevitable fate for one such as him. The Universe. The Diamond.

The last lingering threads went into what Schwarz had ultimately revealed to him had stained his mind more than he'd like to admit.

_I've cared for people. I have loved people. I have had the experiences with all walks of life. You and I....we're the same!_

How could he even connect her to him? Her manipulations, her ways with words. All the Gems she's given promises and broken to, in the same sentence.

Gems that weren't convinced of the freedoms Steven promised.

Emerald, Holly Blue, Navy, Eyeball, Aquamarine.

The only one he was ever able to reach to was Baseball; one he personally never found like he had cracked (as her shattering was thanks to the cursed Bluebird.)

Others say she would have been the one to somehow hold power over the others. Steven should have known better to see someone else hiding in the shadows and pulling the strings.

The strings over their faces. Those grey strings.

Steven's thought about their blindness to see reason, but would think to himself was he himself blind to their logic? Their happiness in the Empire they called their own?

The Empire. The Diamonds.

White, Blue, Yellow.

Could _they_ have known better? Stuck in their ways because no else could help them see. But him.

He would have seen them as reasonable adults...but they were, as Connie would call some gems, Super Powered Children.

Steven was a child once. Robbed because he was in the adult shoes from the start. 

He's seen arguments. Arguments childish. Arguments too confusing. Heartbreaking.

And the lack of understanding, the lack of clarity.

Steven at that critical stage, didn't know any better. Only to call on his heart and his kindness to reach those he cared about.

He wanted to stop the hurt.

But hurt himself.

He wasn't supposed to. He wasn't supposed to be the adult. He wasn't supposed to become _this_....

He wasn't supposed to _become_ a Diamond.

Lying there, bleeding to death among all the chaos. What was he supposed to do? What could he do as the white fog permeated around him; with the sound of footsteps coming closer.

"Steven?"

Looking up, he could see the Ghost of Rose, solemn in her representation of his Sadness. She knelt down beside him and moved to touch his head. If only it were real.

"You're not going to die here...okay?"

He wishes had more time...with the time he had spent on regrets and too much of it on what Schwarz had been warning him about regarding his work to influence people; their common connection.

"Schwarz was right." He muttered...tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't move, due to the lack of energy. His eyes lost their focus as tears rolled out, his body heavy and light at the same time.

"I forced change. I'm no Diamond. I don't deserve to lead Gems to be better versions of themselves....when I can't be a better version of me."

When he ended just being another Schwarz in the end. A negotiator, a persuader. The manipulator. The Monster. The Corrupter.

The darkness in him was the brightest of all...and it was _his_ doing.

"You are Steven Universe." She said.

"No one can tell you who you are. Only you can."

If only it were that easy.

"I've been trying..." He claimed, croaking out his words as the despair began to take hold.

"It's never enough..."

There was so much to finish up on too. So much he wanted to do but just couldn't. Luck was not on his side right now when he so desperately needed it.

"A Crystal Gem...a Diamond. Two sides of the same Coin." Said Pink Diamond, standing next to Rose.

"You want something to change and something to stay the same."

A unique paradox, but yes.

"It's not your fault if people don't choose to listen." She continued, kneeling down beside her.

"They are so stubborn in their ways. It is up to them if wish to change that."'

That wasn't the issue.

"But I _need_ to get Schwarz to see the error of her ways." He pleaded.

"She's doing more harm than good....but then again..."

More footsteps.

"You've also done things you're not entirely proud of." Said Younger Steven aka 14.

"It caused you grief. But you did them anyway."

Out of survival.

"You cracked Emerald and Holly. Those choices helped get them to change."

Yes they did....not that the former was intentional but it had been on his mind during those tense moments.

"Schwarz is like _me_. She's gotten into the heads of Gems to turn them against me...and..." The Admiral voiced, fingers lightly digging into the dirt beneath him.

"Against everything I've ever sacrificed."

Sacrificed.

"You risked who Steven Universe was...but changed it to Steven Diamond because it fit your ambitions more." Said Diamond Suit Steven, aka 17.

"You know how to be an Adult. An Adult who has his own responsibilities. The youth was discarded and the natural evolution of your humanity became this."

That was true. No longer needed. No longer required. 

"He wasn't supposed to have those responsibilities." Pink argued.  
"He doesn't have to have those responsibilities." Rose agreed.  
"He had to take on those responsibilities." 14 stated.  
"He now has those responsibilities." 17 explained.

"Should he have them?" Blue Shirt Steven said.

"Does he still want them?" Black Shirt Steven said.

"He shouldn't have them." Said Stevonnie.

The fusion, representative of his Maintenance, stood there, no wearing the Diamond Suit...not wearing the Admiral Suit.

But his original jacket, but orange instead of pink. His normal jeans that became black shorts. And a purple shirt with a green star underneath.

Grief before the Change.

They were circling him now. His mind in shambles.

One person was missing.

"Where's....where's the Leviathan?" Steven muttered.

"Where's..."

Stevonnie took charge.

"The Leviathan will take you back to where you started." They said, kneeling down and pushing the others away.

"You know how Connie's sides worked. Her representations. You need to help her find and track down herself again on your terms and in your own mind...you are not going to die."

The lack of belief in that factor stood out the most. Did he really think he was going to survive an entire bodies worth of blood draining out of him at a snails pace? 

"It doesn't hurt." Said Black Shirt Steven.

No. It didn't.

"He might need it though." Said 17.

"He can't survive on faith alone."

Faith.

Finding his own light.

"If Steven corrupts again...." Stevonnie warned.

Remind the real Steven why he was technically arguing with himself again?

"He won't corrupt." 17 stated.

17 was the Gatekeeper after all.

"The Leviathan was channelled into Perfect Steven already. The two are...fused, so to speak."

Oh yeah, they were.

"Perfect almost killed several Gems!" Stevonnie cried out, raising their arms and looking on in anger at 17.

The call was out to each of his minds personalities, not to similar to Connie's.

"Yes, that's right. You let him just...do that?" Pink roared.

This sounded so...strange...something he was used to seeing.

"He doesn't like it clearly." Black Shirt said.

Something he's witnessed plenty of times.

"I wouldn't call it direct corruption. It's more like a power booster to his head." 14 explained.

Power booster...heh.

"Then why isn't he here?" Blue Shirt said.

Why isn't he?

"Because he has no power." Rose pointed out.

"Steven is near death and cannot draw upon it because there is no pain here where he is."

Was he already dead?

Stevonnie sighed.

"Rose is right." They said, in the tone of defeat, then looked Steven straight in the eyes.

"Steven..."

Black shirt had a bunch of pink static encompass him.

"I want to go home..." He whined.

Stevonnie continued to make sure that Steven kept his focus on them for the longest time. For how long it would take for him to hold on until...

"I failed..." Steven cried, whimpering in the hopelessness of his situation. One by one, each of the Ghosts disappeared.

"I cannot be angry anymore." Said Pink...before fading.

"I cannot be sad anymore." Said Rose....before fading.

"I cannot deny this anymore." Said 14...before fading.

"I cannot fight this anymore." Said 17....before fading.

"I cannot pretend anymore." Said Blue Shirt....before fading.

"I cannot think anymore." Said Black Shirt...before fading.

The last left standing; symbol of the strongest as butterflies were left lingering in their places, growing in numbers.

"Do you want to accept this is it Steven?" Stevonnie said as they struggled to remain in place.

"You're holding on still. You've got to. Even if all else disappears...there's still hope...the others...you need to hear them..."

No response.

"You're still here, listening to me. Keep listening." They pleaded, their own tears dropping at infrequent intervals.

But why won't Stevonnie just let him _die_ already? 

He began to get weaker and weaker. The strength had been fading fast.

"I'm here...." They kept repeating it.

"I'm here..."

...

"Steven?"

A faded, muffled voice. Belonging to someone of colourful strength.

"Oh stars he's bleeding like crazy...."

Another. Belonging to someone of green logic.

"We gotta get him out of here."

And another...Belonging to someone of blue endurance.

"No..." Steven croaked...

"No _no.._.."

He felt his body being moved, but couldn't see through the white fog to witness who was picking him up.

"I gotchyu." 

Bismuth.

"Stay with me now."

  
"YOU WILL NOT TAKE HIM!"

A shriek from the enemy.

Somehow it made what left of his blood boil.

"GET BACK HERE YOU FREAK!" 

Jasper...

Of course it was Jasper.

"You will not touch him!"

Celosia!

Her bouts of courage were inspiring,.

"He's as good as dead anyway! I can save him!" Schwarz claimed.

In what what? She just impaled him!

He could see the ensuing conflict with Lapis and Jasper fighting Schwarz because of course he was...though he allowed Bismuth to carry him away somewhere safe...until he could see Connie in her cage.

Something about being locked in a cage.

"Connie..." Steven muttered weakly.

The group could see her there; with Peridot running on over to the control panel to see if she could free the trapped soul, meanwhile Bismuth tried to figure out how to deal with a bloody Steven in her arms. She's dealt with humans before but had no idea how to help him. Especially when it feels like he wants to vomit blood every few seconds. 

"Steven...it's gonna be alright....stay with me now..." She assured, though tears were falling faster.

_It's okay Steven..._

Whispers...

Over where his jacket was, he could see a dark shadow with green eyes; the same as before.

_You need to embrace your pain..._

It sounded just like...

" _Connie..._ " He croaked.

Bismuth pursed her lips.

"Peridot's working on freeing her right now."

"Celosia's going to catch up with Volleyball...hopefully they'll get to the surface in time to get more help."

The Fleet.

Of course.

His mind fixated on the humans in their inactive chambers...they needed more help. Where the shadow was before, there were more. Falling in and out consciousness and seeing the increase in their numbers until...about seven in total that were scattered. They weren't evil; their attributes that were confusion. That was the only feeling he had right now.

_I talk to God but the Sky is empty._

God wasn't in the sky. The envisioning of religion wasn't in Steven's nature, but he would make the small pleas to luck drawn from the cosmos. But there wasn't anything he could look to.

So...instead...he would look down...

Down into the ocean of despair.

Where his Leviathan lurked.

_Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.^1_

Scars. Like the ones on his back. His spikes. His monstrosity.

Why can't he draw on the pain? Perhaps. Because he did not have strength to fight against it. But memories of the past were clinging to him. Through songs and shouts.

_One; So the way forward is clear to us now_

Vivi's song.

_Two ; Don't need you no more, only I would know how._

To need...to know what he needed and how.

_Three; Let's run away, with the company of me_

The company of me.

_Four; Let's fly away, with my friend called the sea._

The sea. To fly.

_Five; Gargantuan hearts; with beasts we cannot tame._

His heart could give; even with beasts he had come to know and love.

_Six; It was all your fault, your presence to blame._

He shouldn't lead with blame. But he did...subconsciously.

_Seven; Before I forget, it started with you._

It started with one, leading with many.

_Eight; It started with you, that wasn't all true._

No. But the truth was revealed.

_Nine; that wasn't all true, the lies are all there_

He was lying to himself. All this time.

_Ten; Forget everything, I no longer care._

The shadows approached Steven, standing around looking down at him. Glistening eyes, ever piercing. Their judgement not yet to pass.

_"What do you think corruption is, Baseball?" He dared to ask._

_"A broken mind with a broken body to suit it."^2_

Corruption....and Baseball said it was going to happen irregardless.

_"I am not sure...the path is not clear anymore." She said, struggling to use her future vision._

_"I see so much destruction. And why...why is your corruption taking over me?"_

Ideas weren't meant to corrupt. They were meant to encourage positive growth and change.

That was what he was trying to accomplish.

_"If you perceive yourself as the monster. Then you are one. If you perceive yourself as the Diamond others see you as, then you are one."_

_Perception. Here he was again....deep in controversy._

_"Make your choice...and own it."^3_

Perception. Controversy.

_"What do you think?" He asked Volleyball._

_The Pearl beamed as she raised her hands in front of her face._

_"I think it's wonderful." She replied with a cheery tone. ^4_

Why would anyone else care what he wore?

_"All that hard work you did. I've never seen a Diamond work so...intensely like that."^5_

His hard work. He was a Diamond.

_"Do you really have to keep looking back to look forward?"_

_"I have to. Or else I'll forget how to change."^_ _6_

Change. He can change.

Looking forward, backwards. To perceive himself as who he was and how he was. The energy inside of him ever shifting, ever evolving. If he could develop. Force change.

 _"People try so hard to appear as they want others to perceive them to be. Ideally, we shouldn't be trying so hard ourselves. If we can be who we are, without fear, then others will appreciate you more for the natural personality...and not a forced one._ "^7

Be who he wants to be, without fear.

He was too scared to change. Though more sweet whispers enter in his ears.

_"I don't care how human or Gem you are. I don't care if you're a giant monster...I just want the Steven in front of me, whomever he decides to be."^8_

_Connie..._

Is being a monster natural? Being Steven was natural.

_Don't leave us behind..._

The shadows...one by one, placed their hands on Steven's body. The pain itself, resumed as a series of harsh stings that instantly turned Steven's body flush with the pink state. Steven screamed and breathed heavily with Bismuth trying so hard to calm him down. A heart that raged and muscles that ached. This was the step he needed to survive...and win.

"Woah Steven, it's okay...GAH!" She said, suddenly the Gem who had no qualms in dipping her hands in lava, found even Steven in this state too hot to handle.

She didn't meant to drop him, but the fact he was convulsing and crying with a light within himself as intense the sun the burned through his body at a rate his mind could barely comprehend. Peridot instantly noticed, as well as Connie who was, oddly calm...examining the flailing Steven, as if...she knew what was happening instantaneously.

"What's happening to him?" Peridot asked in a panic.

Steven's acquisition of it all; seeing the sun in between blinks and being reminded of a song. Laying in bed, cuddling up with Connie and he could think about besides the pain was her and her heavenly voice. While white spikes poked out of his back.

" _You feel it now...._ " She sung, ever so softly. Her eyes went into the beam of light pouring down through the window, her voice the serene peace for the only ears she aimed to have listen beyond the silence, beyond the clash of noises that his broken mind had to be screaming into him. But his mind wasn't breaking...Steven was both letting go and holding on. Fangs that grew and skin that darkened. Horns that pushed through his curly black hair that slowly rescinded into his scalp.

" _Your heart is aching...but there is no mistaking...._ "

Songs that were meant to nurture, inspire, heal...while bones were snapping and grinding as he grew larger.

" _How long its taking, when dawn is breaking..._ "

To connect to others, so it would be a way to connect to everyone. Though everyone wasn't exactly in their right mind, with Bismuth and Peridot standing back in terror, yielding to their fears.

" _You'll see the sun again...._ "

Even the fighting between Schwarz, Jasper and Lapis stopped, watching the transformation before them.

" _Your doubt is growing, your fear is showing..._ "

Steven didn't want to give up. It was either die slowly...or go down in flames.

" _Now your heart is knowing, when the light is glowing..._ "

The stubbornness of what was in his heart, would shine to others even in this state some would call corruption.

" _You'll see the sun again..._ "

Stubbornness or hope. The human mind was a strange thing.

" _There is no stopping, there is no looking back, because if anything, you're right on track_."

It finds its way back...most of the time.

" _Remember to breath...remember you're driven...because all is due time you'll be forgiven._ "

Then there are times while you don't want the help...you do actually need it.

" _For the sun is merely gone for a while, but then...you will see it....again.._."

But you also had to _want_ it.

"No..." Jasper gasped in disbelief.

It was horrible to look at and even Schwarz was left speechless as Steven's body warped, seeing the tail pour out from behind him. His body tore through the remainder of his clothes and no one could do anything as Steven went from the beloved Admiral, to the Leviathan before them. Why he would consider this was beyond her own understanding. And everyone else's.

No one dared to move as everything from before came back into place, with Steven standing on his hind legs. His elongated neck raised up with his arched head with a twitching maw and a set of sharp claws. Once he was somewhat focused, the air around him was more heated than it should have been. Opening his eyes to see the jet black sclera and the glowing pink Diamond pupils. 

His head turned to Schwarz and the infuriating amount of pent up hatred poured into him as he opened his mouth.

" **RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.** "

The sound of his roars shook the caverns and alerted a nearby Volleyball, who was at the elevator with unconscious Greg to recognise that unholy shrill.

" _Steven.._." She whispered.

The Leviathan had returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Khalil Gibran  
> 2\. Wanted Chapter 32: The Unjust  
> 3\. Wanted Chapter 33: The Transformation  
> 4\. Needed Chapter 2: The Suit  
> 5\. Needed Chapter 3: The Name.  
> 6\. Needed Chapter 12: 12 Hours  
> 7\. Wanted Chapter 31: The Change  
> 8\. Wanted Chapter 2: The Date


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